Last night I got drunk and showed my extra fancy vagina on a live webcast, but it was very tasteful and probably safe-for-work. Also educational. Maybe.
Long story short, I got asked to substitute for Veronica Belmont who couldn’t make it to this month’s Vaginal Fantasy Book Club (a monthly live-streamed web series where Veronica, Felicia Day, Bonnie Burton and Kiala Kazebee discuss and dissect smut while getting progressively drunker each minute) and I was super excited because I got to hang out with some of the most amazing women ever while never having to leave my house.
Minutes before the show I announced on twitter that I may have taken the “Vaginal Fantasy” too literally because my costume included my extra fancy vagina and suddenly Veronica was like “I’M HERE. I CAN MAKE IT AFTER ALL” and I’m not sure if that’s because she wanted to protect the world from my vagina, or just wanted to see it herself but it either way, it all worked out.
If you’re bored you should plug in your headphones and watch during lunch because it’s like hanging out with friends you don’t even have to talk to. It’s also funnier if you’re drunk, so take a drink whenever we do.
Related: People asked to see the whole outfit. It’s inspired by Miss Kitty and it’s super twirly. The vagina fascinator is a wondrous vulva puppet I stapled onto a headband.
Unrelated: We are still working on the Commandments of our new religion so you need to add them here so we can make an official scroll or something. Also, “Commandments” sounds bossy so we need to rethink phraseology too. Maybe “Suggestions to keep the world from being an asshole” or “Hints from Heloise”? I think that last one may already be taken.
Also, someone asked if it was sacrilegious to start a new organized religion and no, it’s not, because this is the opposite of organized religion. If anything, it’s disorganized religion, and it works as a tasty condiment to whatever you already are now. It’s like the ketchup of religions.
PS. Someone is going to say that I should have said that The Church of Bloggessianism is the gravy of religions since one of our basic tenets is “More gravy for everyone”, but gravy is not a condiment. Gravy is a way of life. Stop underestimating gravy.