I started writing this post a year ago and I still don’t have a good ending.

Conversation between me and Victor:

me:  Look!  I designed a shirt for us:

procrastinate no

Victor:  “Procrastinate no“?

me:  It was meant to say “PROCRASTINATE NOW” but then I got distracted and never finished it.

Victor:  Well, that’s ridiculous.

Me:  No, it’s fitting.  Because I’m all, “PROCRASTINATE NOW!” because I’m cool with procrastination.  So cool with it, in fact, that I didn’t even finish the shirt.  But then it also works for you because you hate procrastination, so if you wear it it’s more like: “PROCRASTINATE?  NO!”  Either way, everyone agrees.  And now we can both wear the same shirt so we’re saving money on clothes.

Victor:  Except that we don’t wear the same size.   And the shirt isn’t here.

me:  I haven’t ordered it yet.  I figured I’d do it later.

Victor:  So you haven’t ordered the shirt that you haven’t finished…which celebrates the fact that you procrastinate?

me:  Yes.  I’m proving my own point without even wearing the shirt.  That’s how good of a shirt it is.

PS.  I read that The Nepalese postal service sometimes gets so behind they throw away sacks of undelivered mail. Based on that, I think I might be Nepalesian. Or Nepaleatic.  Or Neopolitan. I’m not sure which, but I just spent an hour looking up why I don’t have time to answer all my mail in the time it could have taken me to answer all my mail.  I can’t tell if that’s impressive or incredibly sad.  Also, I just remembered that I haven’t taken my ADD drugs in awhile.

Things are starting to make sense now.

 ******************

And now, the weekly wrap-up of awesomeness:

sid4(Paper collage courtesy of Bethany Goosen.)

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Shit that I’m vaguely involved with on the internets:

This week‘s wrap-up is brought to you the fabulous Victoria Elizabeth Barnes, who writes about restoring her old Victorian house… Sort of.  She writes about being married, surviving intense and chaotic house-projects with her husband, and her deep love of craigslist/hoarding giant architectural salvage.  You might know her from the time she brought home a massive mirror that’s bigger than my first apartment, but my favorite was the time she made her husband rip down walls to save treasure.  Go read it.

82 replies. read them below or add one

  1. I really dig your shit)) xx

    Like

  2. When I read the word Neapolitan, I thought of: Neapolitan Mastiff, ice cream, Napoleon, Nepalese sounds like nipple, and hey, apple has two p’s like nipple – crazy. Shit. Where is my medication?

    Like

    DimplesCheeks recently posted My newest adventure.

  3. Oh, it’s definitely Neapolitan…Just like the ice cream.

    Like

    Ann St. Vincent recently posted Getting hit on via LinkedIn? Is this what it’s come to?.

  4. It actually makes sense you haven’t finished the shirt yet. Why procrastinate now when you can wait and procrastinate later? Works for me!

    Like

    fillyourownglass recently posted Sound the Retreat!.

  5. I will order that shirt… maybe in a week or two.

    Like

    notquiteold recently posted Unhappy Childhood.

  6. Ha ha ha! I would totes buy that…tomorrow. If there is time. And I can find the time. Or maybe the next day.

    Like

    The Dose of Reality recently posted Sometimes A Phobia Is Actually Funny.

  7. I had an uncle who worked for the post office and got fired for delivering the Wall Street Journal a few days late, every day, every week.

    Like

  8. I am half you/half Victor in the way I read your shirt!

    Like

    Kathleen recently posted Iron Women.

  9. A finished procrastination shirt would no longer be a procrastination shirt.

    Like

    Michelle recently posted There’s A Hole In My Bucket List.

  10. I like the shirt And I may get around to ordering one sometime…

    Like

    margomusing recently posted A Quiet Weekend.

  11. Procrastinating goddess right here. I can come up with more useless shit to do than the actual shit I’m supposed to be doing at any given time. And I rationalize it. Like, somebody’s gotta look at the trees. The dirty dishes will always be there, but the trees, man?!

    Like

  12. Let’s have a procrastinators protest! We can all wear that shirt and carry signs. And it will the most peaceful protest in history, because none of us will finish our signs, or get out of bed on the day of the protest, so no one will actually be there.

    Like

    Shelley J recently posted Random Thoughts Movie Review: Dracula Untold.

  13. Love it… want that shirt with PROCRASTINATE… MAYBE TOMORROW on the back!!!

    Like

  14. Regarding procrastination– I still have Christmas paper and bows out in my office leftover from last year. I never put them away. Now the holiday season is rolling around again and I don’t have to look for gift wrap. My laziness is actually a win. Yay me!

    Like

    Gina W. recently posted So my six-year old bought a Kama Sutra app....

  15. I need this shir

    Like

    MeglyMc recently posted Just Be Happy Mommy Doesn’t Do Meth.

  16. Um…I have a post yesterday, (Happy Birthday Boo!) about how I wrapped my 3 yo’s birthday gifts in snowman Christmas paper. And red duct tape. B/c we put off buying birthday wrapping paper. I can’t decide if that falls under procrastination, or if I could pretend that it was super preplanning, since we had Christmas wrap in the house.

    From last year.

    Hmmmm.

    Like

    The Imp recently posted To The Parent Of the Tantruming Child.

  17. A shirt that works both ways, a plate that stares back at me and a mug for all occasions – my Christmas list is complete. Bonus is that extra gravy will stick to the plate and make it less accusatory.

    Like

    Kristine @ MumRevised recently posted What freshly opened freshness do you prefer? My first Poll!.

  18. Procrastinate No. I think I’d like it better as a very large poster. I could hang it over my TV to guilt myself into doing something now instead of kidding myself that watching “Millionaire Matchmaker” on demand is “research.”

    Like

  19. Oh me too! On the neapolitan thing, or maybe that’s ice cream.

    But on another note: Ice Cream. Hooray!

    What about Procrastinate Late? It has the benefit of rhyming, and it could mean that you’re doing something behind schedule that you could have put off until another time, or it could mean that you meant to say “Procrastinate Later,” but got distracted.

    In any case, I’m with you all the way.

    Like

    Manicmom recently posted The Learner’s Permit. Also known as Fifty Hour Glutes.

  20. Could you be any stranger – in a kick-ass way – and simultaneously cooler, Jenny?
    I think not.

    Like

    The Hook recently posted 31 Things I’d Rather Do Than Serve A Hockey Family..

  21. and now we know that the porcupine was the inspiration for Cousin It.

    Like

  22. I think add the start of the w, so no one would misread it as procrastinate no. But that’s me. And then send me one. When you think about it. Someday.

    Like

  23. I’m not very good at procrastinating. I’m more of an amateurcrastinator.

    Like

  24. One Came Home!
    Man alive I love that book. I want Georgie for a friend, for me? For my daughters? Both? I stayed up way to late to finish this book. I was just going to “start” it…150 pages later and I had to finish it. It was irksome🙂
    PS-I love that you read with Hailey. My oldest is just learning to read and we are having so much fun. I keep eying the Harry Potter books, A Wrinkle in Time, The Westing Game and all my other “childhood” favorites and having to talk myself down.
    PPS-Does “eying” even look like a word? And yet, “eyeing” gets the red squiggle of shame. Fuck you spell check.

    Like

  25. Nepal is also famous for their Ghurka warriors. If you’re good with a knife you never know.

    Like

  26. Nepal is also famous for their Ghurka warriors. If you’re good with a knife you never know. In fact procrastination while holding a knife is probably a safe thing🙂

    Like

    Gary Lum recently posted Comment on Noodle omelet recipe by Gary Lum.

  27. Oh wow! That blog is amazing! Also, I need that shirt🙂

    Like

  28. That is the perfect shirt for me. We are two peas in a …

    Like

    Jane @ The Blue Morpho recently posted What Trust Doesn't Look Like.

  29. I was going to write a thoughtful reply to this but then

    Like

    Shari recently posted New Book The Secret Lives of the Harvested.

  30. The shirt is awesome…I’d get one if I ever get around to figuring out how to order shit online…it’s a tad confusing and scary for me…

    Like

    Kayjai recently posted Helpful Tips for Avoiding Douche-Like Behaviour.

  31. This shirt is freakin fantastic! Thank you for understanding us so well.
    (Sorry if this posts twice. Had log-in trouble)

    Like

    quoylette recently posted And now...

  32. I totally relate, you know. sometimes when I’m faced with a huge & daunting task, I suddenly become lazy & begin to feel like doing it at a later time, but the good thing is I always stop to consider the pros & the cons and so that’s when I always end up going for the pros. em…i mean procrastination, that is! lol

    BTW procrastination can be a good thing. Imagine the impact it would have on the population & economy if men PRO-CASTRATE? okay, not really!🙂

    Like

  33. ah yes procrastination, it makes the heart grow…..what? wait? I have to go look that up…..but I think your shirt idea is perfect. I would buy one, or two, if I ever got around to it.

    Like

    Mary-Anne recently posted Decisions decisions.

  34. Procrastination: Natures way of reminding me that I am forcing myself to do something I really don’t want to do. Just stop it

    Like

  35. If you haven’t yet, read the FableHaven series (by Brandon Mull) with your daughter. Great fantasy. I still read to my family, even though the “kids” are 21 and 23.

    Like

  36. Loved One Came Home! For a similar thoughtful, witty, stong girl main character and beautiful writing, you should try this one:

    http://www.amazon.com/Lower-Than-Angels-Margaret-Symmank/dp/149520796X

    Like

  37. So is the o in no/now a old button sewn on in an X? Orr like a circle shaped box you check with an x? Or am i the only one questioning the O?

    Like

  38. thank you for all these links and esp the book review. A similar sort of story that I can recommend is Greener Grass, an award winning book about a girl who lives through the Irish Potato Famine. and now back to putting my artwork on plates and lampshades through your zazzle links😉

    Like

  39. Guys never procrastinate. What we do is drink beer and plan.

    Like

  40. And blow up ant hills with firecrackers.

    Like

    HogsAteMySister recently posted Stinging Dang Red Ants, Fireworks and Guy Fawkes.

  41. How did that guy Wimpy on Popeye put it? I’ll gladly pay you on Tuesday for a cheeseburger today! So, I’ll gladly pay you at some point for a procrastination shirt I’ll buy in a few days, someday…..

    Like

  42. Okay, so I was planning on making up planet charts of all the planets. Because astrology. I was planning on using pictures from NASA. So when my Jupiter plates show up, don’t hate me! (I’ve been procrastinating. Yeah.)

    Like

  43. The How I Tinder post is brilliant! Thanks for sharing!

    Like

    NancyTex recently posted home.

  44. Love the shirt, but will any of us procrastinators get around to buying it?? I’m procrastinating right now. I have so much shit still to do. This pretty much happens every Sunday evening. Oh and I added that book to my wish list. I’ll have to check it out (when I get around to it).

    Like

  45. I used to be the worst procrastinator. I don’t know if it’s an age thing or a motivational thing, but I don’t procrastinate that much anymore. Maybe it has to do with just saying no…

    My daughter was Tinderella for Halloween! It was hilarious.

    Like

    susielindau recently posted Why I Joined the Madness.

  46. I love the shirt, but will never get around to ordering it. Also? You have the best Pinterest page ever. Ever.

    Like

  47. 47
    Maggi Oswald

    I want Harold on a T=shirt!!!!!

    (
    Your wish… ~ Jenny)

    Like

  48. You could start a revolution with that shirt . . . tomorrow. Ellen

    Like

  49. Harold on a tshirt is a must have. Awesome. And yes, fuck everyone. You can tell them I said so.

    Like

  50. …but you failed because you actually completed a post about said shirt.

    Like

    Psychobabble recently posted Halloween Just Got Cuter.

  51. I want that shirt. That’s easily the best procrastination station shirt I have ever seen.

    Like

  52. ‘Procrastinate no’ is better than ‘bad spellers untie!’ But I’m ambivalent

    Like

  53. W…ait. You wrote “the Nepalese postal service” and then couldn’t be bothered to look at what you had just written to figure out how to write “Nepalese”? You really ARE the procrastination queen.

    Like

  54. Argentina is kind of the same. We applied for our national ID in February and were told it would arrive by mail in 60-90 days. Never mind we had not seen a single mailbox the entire time we’ve been down here–they just kind of vaguely throw the mail at your house, and there are no official postal service vehicles, so it’s just sort of random people throwing envelopes at your house.

    Anyway, we applied in February, and it took until August for someone to realize that our mail was lost. It had a postal routing number on it, but no one could figure out where it was. We figured they had strapped it to an alpaca and said, “Go, son! Find the people!” and sent it out into the world. Ten months later we finally got our IDs after having a lawyer approach immigrations and basically have them look down and go “oh, yeah, that was returned to us. whoops.”… and now our IDs expire in two months. So, they didn’t quite throw out the mail… they just routed them in the absolute most inefficient way possible.

    Like

  55. Just checked out the book you recommend – One Came Home – and looks really good. it’s on my to-read-next list!!!

    Like

  56. 56
    Doug Richardson

    “Nepaleatic”….that’s a classic. I’ll be the Deli Llama gets a chuckle out of that too. I’m sure he reads you.

    Like

  57. Reminds me of the same logic I used when i was supposed to post a blog post at 10:00, and I posted it at 1:00, and I was like, “I’m only off by a zero, which is nothing, so I’m not late.”

    Like

    Michelle Grewe recently posted Prayer for our Veterans and Soldiers.

  58. Bought a button when I was out on Saturday that reads: “To do list: 1) Procrastinate. 2) Panic.” I may hang it on my cubicle wall if I ever get around to bringing it to work with me.

    Like

  59. I love/need that shirt.

    Like

    Daniela recently posted Is happiness a choice?.

  60. Does procrastinating either now or later simply end up cancelling itself out? Now I’m confused in a Back To the Future 2 kind of way.

    Like

  61. Aw, come on Victor. You are so lucky. She is thrifty, creative and funny. The trifecta, really:). Wearing the same shirt . . . .🙂

    Like

    candidkay recently posted Zen accomplished.

  62. Besides the whole stabby thing, I think the school would be foolish not to use your poster lol!!

    Like

    Stephanie@themadchatters.com recently posted To Infinity and Beyond!.

  63. My procrastination knows no bounds. I haven’t even finished a story since my senior year of high school which was almost 5 years ago. (Although I still pretend to be a writer.)

    Like

    Alanna recently posted Wanna Find Me? Just Search For “Bullshit”..

  64. I AM Procrastination Cat. (I had that LOL Cat taped to my screen at work for ages.)

    I may have to get this shirt. When I get around to it.

    Like

  65. I want a Procrastinate Now t-shirt so badly! I’ll even take the “No” version. And thanks, I’m now craving Neopolitan ice cream.

    Like

    angelaweight recently posted FakeBook and the Truth Behind Our “Happiest” Moments.

  66. I was working at the library, and a woman came up to return an overdue book and pay the fine. She leaned on the desk between us, and whispered, “I kept meaning to bring it back, and I just kept not doing it.” The book’s title: “Overcoming Procrastination”. And I thought, “You, my dear, are a soul sister.”

    Like

    Melissa recently posted How I Got My Groove Back.

  67. What Candidkay said. Also, ‘Shit I did when I wasn’t here.’ Is that an ADD thing? Because I totally understand that. (One of my basic rules: if I can’t find it, look in the refrigerator. That’s where it is, more than I care to think about.)

    Mail: wood stoves are handy for that, the backlog. That’s what I know.

    Like

  68. Would it be possible to get Harold on a cover for an iPhone 5? I don’t want to interrupt all of this marvelously melodious procrastinating, but I really do want to share him with the world via my phone. I promise to order if you can make it so!

    Like

  69. The picture in the extra grave for all needs something….like a weird ass apron….no not literally an ass, … oh never mind

    Like

  70. I always believe in procrastinating right away.

    Like

    Laurie recently posted Farewell to Two Friends....

  71. “That doesn’t work” is one of the most helpful things a spouse can say.

    Like

  72. I think the term you’re looking for is Nepalthetic.
    ;D

    Like

    nerril recently posted And now for something completely different:.

  73. I TOTALLY GET the “Procrastinate NO!” shirt. If you ever order them, can you send me one??

    Like

  74. 75
    Rayne Millaray

    That explains why I never got a response from my Nepalese pen pal.

    Like

  75. How to slack:
    Step 1:

    Like

    jehanfor recently posted Fan-sooba-ralla-mastic.

  76. As the old saying goes…”I used to be indecisive, but now I am not so sure.” Yea…I am sure.

    Like

    ktcatpaws recently posted Namaste’ Cat.

  77. wait, it isn’t nepaleptic? I believe you are nepaleptic

    Like

  78. My Christmas cards are all in addressed envelopes and ready to mail. I wrote them three years ago. Now if I would just buy stamps.

    Like

    patsyporco recently posted Blame it on Nella.

  79. The cover for the children’s book…too funny and cute! Still chuckling.
    And that was the most relaxing thing I’ve ever seen too.

    Like

  80. Who doesn’t want some extra gravy?!

    Like

  81. 82
    Eleanor Nixon

    Okay, so you’re better that Mother Teresa, you said?

    Like

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