For my birthday Hailey gave me a betta fighting fish.
His temporary name is Prisoner #7942 (that’s the number that was written on the small bowl he was living in) but he needs something better. I was leaning toward “The Admiral” but Victor suggested “Old Gregg”, because he’s one fishy bastard. Hailey suggested that I call him, “THE PRETENDERS.” She’s not great at this.
I asked twitter, and they gave me several good suggestions, like:
- Lawrence Fishburn
- Darth Betta
- Atticus Fish
- Prisoner Zero
- Sir Nigel Rufflebottom
- “He looks like Legolas. But without legs. Legless Legolas.”
But then someone suggested I use the Benedict Cumberbatch Name Generator and these are just a few names it suggested for my fish. I dare you say them out loud and not giggle:
- Snorkledink Cottonpatch
- Fragglerock Candygram
- Crumpledonk Chuckecheese
- Wimbeldon Chickenbroth
- Timothy Chowderpants
- Bumblebee Frumblesnoot
- Bukkake Custardbath
- Syphilis Curdledmilk
- Bunsenburner Coochyrash
- Bandersnatch Crumplehorn
- Rinkydink Clompyclomp
- Blasphemy Scratchnsniff
Conclusion: I’m gonna need more fish.
PS. Right now, Prisoner #7942 is in a large bowl on a very high shelf, but that’s not stopping Hunter S. Thomcat from going full-meerkat on him:
It’s adorable and unsettling all at the same time.
PPS. This was supposed to be a weekly wrap-up, but I don’t have a sponsor for it so I was like, “Hey, lemurs. You guys want in on this action?” And the lemurs were like:
So fuck those lemurs. I’ll sponsor this post myself, lemurs. This week’s post sponsored by thebloggess.com, a website specializing in the care and feeding of aquatic-cats. Or something. I didn’t really research it. It looks awesome though and ads start at $100 a month, which is crazy cheap and (surprising) less than what you’d spent setting up an aquarium for a $5 fish. Click here if you want in.
PPPS. As requested, 2015 Bloggess Calendars are hot off the presses: