No. No. Nope. ALL THE NOPES.

If you’ve been here long enough you know I have a terrific fear of anything tentacled, and that I’m fairly certain giant squids will one day take over the world.

This isn’t helping:

We’re not even safe on land, you guys.  I don’t even trust the toilet anymore at this point.

204 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Good lord. I’m with you on the fear!!

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    Ann St. Vincent recently posted How one little word can make me feel so sh*tty..

  2. That is terrifying! And speedy. Octopus Olympics?

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  3. This will haunt my dreams. Damnit.

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  4. You trusted the toilet before? So naive.

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  5. That was beautiful!

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  6. That is AWESOME. Love the voice-over, too.😀

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  7. That is AWESOME!… Terrifyingly Awesome!

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  8. My husband is afraid of whales, like deathly afraid. I don’t want to show him this, it might add squid to his phobia. I’ll never get him in the ocean, then.

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  9. What the what?

    And also, please tell me that a child was holding that camera. Because otherwise it is the shakiest footage I have seen since I had to leave The Bourne Ultimatum due to motion sickness.

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    Tragic Sandwich recently posted Lifelong Learning.

  10. 12
    THE GROUCHY SMURF

    Just pull your unregistered handgun and let loose a hail of bullets. Because who’s to say what’s legal in a world where such monsters run free…

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    THE GROUCHY SMURF recently posted The Superfluous Sandwich.

  11. One of the ways I don’t wanna go is to be eaten by a giant squid. If I have to be eaten by an animal, I want it to have some ability to recognize my humanity and maybe even feel a tiny bit of remorse.

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  12. How do you know the crab didn’t DESERVE it?

    (We don’t blame the victime, Manicmom. ~ Jenny)

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  13. Oh my GOD, they can come out of the water and eat a crustacean? We are all doomed!

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    Manicmom recently posted Tattoo Who?.

  14. Then you probably shouldn’t visit my province ever, because an octopus caught and killed a seagull here…

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    Spoken Like A True Nut recently posted Take his hand, you dumbass..

  15. I saw that the other day and thought WHAT.THE.HELL?! WHAT JUST HAPPENED??!?!?!

    Like

  16. Let the nightmares roll in. Thanks, Jenny.

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  17. [img]http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BG4Dz6ZCAAAAfUz.jpg:large[/img]

    And, since that probably won’t work…

    http://twicsy.com/i/iQtyvd

    Like

  18. Trusting toilets? Nope. Not with ginormous Australian toilet spiders lurking under seats and rims. Sooner or later you’ll see that video and realize…THEY HAVE EIGHT LEGS JUST LIKE AN OCTOPUS. Draw your own conclusions.

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  19. He was a hungry little squid. Shudder

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  20. I concur with the chick filming this episode, “HOLY SHIT!”.

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  21. (without audio) Looks like the person recording was all like Wha? Wha? Wo… (And a ‘bleh’ from me) 🙂

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  22. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!! I can’t even. I share your fear and terror and horror of tentacles. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Like

  23. Someone told me a story a while back about a girl who went to use the toilet and a rat swam out of it. Toilets creeped me out for months afterward!

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    susielindau recently posted A Mind-Blowing Experience!.

  24. Every time I see tentacles, I think of you. I have a shark thing like your tentacle thing.

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  25. What in the…? Octopuses (octopi?) can jump out of the water? One more reason I’ll stick with pools! I haven’t trusted public toilets since I saw Copycat…now I have to worry about this?!

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    fillyourownglass recently posted Do You See What I See? (Perceptions and Misconceptions)
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  26. Crab-stuffed calamari? Sounds dee-lish.

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  27. Ever since I was little and decided that an alligator was going to crawl out of the toilet and bite my but, I’ve been on the untrusting of toilets wagon – welcome!

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  28. And I can’t spell butt right because I’m to riled up….

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  29. TOO* … for all that is holy.

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  30. That reminds me….it’s time for lunch

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  31. that’s insane!! (but kind of awesome). you’re totally watching that repeatedly and freaking yourself out, aren’t you ;-P

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  32. I think I may have just developed a fear pf tentacled beings …

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  33. We’re not safe from anything. Friend of mine sent me this link this morning: http://io9.com/welp-lions-can-open-car-doors-humans-are-screwed-1689571764. Granted, this can be solved by LOCKING YOUR DOORS, but I can say with complete honesty and no shame that I would have peed my pants on the spot.

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  34. I used to work at an aquarium and we had giant pacific octopuses on display. There were several that tried to escape their tank at one point and were found in the middle of the night crawling across the floor! Luckily a well-latched lid lined with astroturf (they don’t like the texture of that material and it makes it difficult for their suckers to stick to) fixed that problem!😉

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  35. OMG! I hate tentacled creatures too! My husband has a field day with that one. Never google cuttlefish.

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  36. Haha this is awesome!!! I for one welcome our new 8 legged overlords🙂

    All things tentacled are my favorites, in fact I have a very large tattoo of a coconut octopus on my chest. These tentacled creatures are highly intelligent and very interesting, give them a chance🙂

    Like

  37. Holy crap!

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  38. Outhouses scare me a lot more than toilets, so I’ll stick to the indoor plumbing. Warily, but I’m using it.

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  39. Holy crap!!

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  40. Yeah don’t come to BC them, those little bitches’ll anything… seagulls included. Lol. But they’re not gonna jump out and try to eat you. Well most of them won’t….

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  41. And by that I mean those little bitches will eat anything. Lol damn you Siri

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  42. OH HELLL NO!

    Though the HOLY SHIT at the end was amusing.

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  43. HOLY CRAP! How can it move so fast on freakin’ land like that? And here I thought that all I had to worry about in the ocean were sharks. Thanks a friggin’ lot for sharing Jenny. A whole friggin’ lot. (That was some sarcasm there in case you hadn’t picked up on it.) 🙂

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  44. The Hatfield Marine Science Center in Oregon had to put a lid on their octopus tank because it would get out and explore the museum at night.

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  45. Um, (apologies in advance) HOLY CRAB! Also, all the nopes from me as well.

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  46. What the hell?!?!? I wasn’t afraid before, but I sure the heck am now. Coming out of the water and going that fast…yep, I’m out.

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  47. Well, okay now, octopus, you have a crab. Now what? I have a complete skeleton and UTENSILS and I have a hard time eating crab. How does a cephalopod mollusc deal with that whole armored outside thing. Do I want to know?

    PS. why is the link thingy still not working for me?

    http://www.psb1969.blogspot.com

    Like

  48. 50
    Bored Monkey

    Fear not, Ms Bloggess… tentacled creatures have gills and wouldn’t last long enough out of the water to take over the world. I should think having a bad case of crabs would be the larger fear, which obviously this brave bugger didn’t mind catching.

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  49. Oh no, all the nopes! This better not be the new thing for tentacled ocean dwellers.

    They need to not be all working on getting out of the ocean to see what else is going on out here. Like, “HEY. Is that a MCDONALDS?”

    no

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  50. 52
    Mommabird2345

    HE JUMPED OUT OF THE WATER!!!!!!!! Awww, Hell no!

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  51. Accept our Cephalopodic Overlords. They are already taking over the Internets. http://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/2xx2mc/a_few_people_were_skeptical_about_the_octopus/

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  52. 55
    Rebecca Daniels

    Terrifying!

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  53. Just make sure you don’t walk sideways, and you will probably avoid that crab’s fate. Probably.

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  54. Who doesn’t love fresh crab?

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  55. 58
    Nancy Rocptta

    Holy Hell.

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  56. I find octopus videos a little entertaining and not scary because I am here and they are there.

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  57. My mother would have puked if she had seen that. Just the sight of squirming tentacles did it. Even a slithering snake made her shudder.

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  58. Very good video for teaching your kids about the dangers of the internet. And tide pools.

    Quick, here’s something cute to cleanse your eyeballs:

    http://cuteoverload.com/2015/03/04/do-as-i-do-not-as-i-say/

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  59. I have to share this with a friend of mine who LOVES octopods (her fave is the cuttlefish) and is absolutely terrified of anything in a seashell.

    By the way, this just made the news: Octopus steals scientist’s GoPro http://goo.gl/NlbH3h

    And, finally, Frank (#19) – you, sir, are a bastard. That pic is terrifying and I will now check my toilet for lurking octopods.

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  60. Something very strange occurred when I tried to post this video on here. I did a cut and paste of an octopus and it came out weird. Anyway here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=st8-EY71K84&list=PLKkDjgBOPjWHsW-84HUS6iu69_uvNTa2t&index=9 I wish I could delete the previous comment but can’t.

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  61. This was a shock but it is their camouflage abilities that scare me a little more. You can’t even see them! If the octopi and the crows partner up, we’re doomed.

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  62. They can jump out of the water!? Holy crap. That’s really terrifying.

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  63. OK, that’s creepy and it’s not even tentacles that get me. It’s legs. Centipedes and millipedes give me the willies.

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  64. I’m rather amazed no one else mentioned the Australian spider as well (Sue’s comment, #20) – she neglected to actually post the vid, so here’s the article. You’re welcome. (Jenny, are you going to ban me from your site now? NOOOOOO!!!) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2979046/This-flush-toilet-Australia-Man-catches-huge-huntsman-spider-hiding-bowl-just-loo.html

    Like

  65. Ended up less ‘nope’ than I thought it was going to be at least. I thought that whole giant rock thing he was hiding under was going to turn out to be a giant octopus!

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  66. dont worry. I have a friend who loves Calimari enough that giant land squid will NOT become a problem. Neither will giant space squid. Yes, we have discussed this, so I’m not just assuming.

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  67. 70
    trollnystan

    Sooo… I guess I shouldn’t link this video with a spider in the toilet? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FM1hhKgg434

    Oops! Already did it!

    Like

  68. This video made me hyperventilate the first time I saw it. I already didn’t trust the water or anything that can live in it, and this just proved that I was right by not trusting it.

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  69. Yikes! Keep that thing away from me.

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    Cassandra recently posted My Orthopedic Joy Ride.

  70. Huh. I always figured it would be the manta rays, with their smug little smiley faces underneath. I bet they’re in league with the octopi. Takeover alien bastards.

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  71. 74
    @shthisisme

    Those things can jump out of the water? I’ll stay right here in the snow in the Pocono mountains, thank you. I used to live at the NJ shore and every crab I ever saw then looked like an angry mofo that could snap one’s finger off. That crab in the video actually looked scared. Or maybe I’m projecting a bit.

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  72. I think that’s one badass octopus…

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  73. Now, Jenny. You are not the octopus’s natural prey. He would just give you a little hug, like Hunter S. Thomcat.

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  74. It’s tentacles were gong crazy. Reminds me of the scene in The Thing where the guy’s head exploded and all these crazy tentacle things were flopping about…..

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  75. I may have to stop reading this blog. Pretty soon I won’t be able to eat anything or leave the house. And since there are spiders under the rim of my toilet, I will have to utilize a bucket instead.

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  76. This won’t make you feel better either… http://www.ebaumsworld.com/video/watch/84497077/
    Apparently they know how to scale walls…..😦

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  77. Hey, here’s one eating a shark! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HNZePQosxU

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  78. stage 1 in the overthrow – they become aware of our existence http://giant.gfycat.com/ZigzagShrillHammerheadshark.gif

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  79. 83
    carolyngracebeaumont

    Nowhere near as scary as this squid from another universe

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    Post by Slamboree.

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  80. stage 1 of the revolution – they become aware of our existence….. http://giant.gfycat.com/ZigzagShrillHammerheadshark.gif

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  81. Here is a video of one trying to escape at an aquarium. If people hadn’t been there right then he might have made it. http://thedailywh.at/2015/03/animal-day-octopus-tries-escape-seattle-aquarium/

    Like

  82. uncomfortable shudder

    I jumped when it jumped then the bleeping cat jumped onto my bleeping lap, and I was like, “Bleepity BLEEP!”

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  83. It’s funny you should mention the toilet b/c I always believed that story I was told in elementary school about the baby alligator that ended up in someone’s toilet, having entered from the sewer system. Now you’ve reminded me. Sigh. I’m not sure I ever got over that one:).

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  84. 89
    Tiffany Yates Martin

    OH MY EFFING GOD. Look at its gaping mouth as it abducts that poor crab back to its lair to its horrific fate….

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  85. The bad news is that Giant squids WILL take over the world one day. But the good news is that “one day” is not for 200 million years. http://speculativeevolution.wikia.com/wiki/Megasquid

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  86. Wow! Didn’t know they could move that fast out of water! And yeah, not crazy about them either. They have to be careful when they have them in aquariums because they are smart enough to figure out how to get out of the tank if it’s not well secured.

    And, my husband likes to eat squid salad when we go to the Chinese restaurant that has it. I can’t watch.

    Thanks for sharing that little nightmare!

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  87. Now that these tentacled critters are on dry land, first thing they’ll learn to do is use the Internet. Then they’ll start using 3D printers to give themselves opposable thumbs. Then they’ll take over the world. We’re done for.

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  88. I have never been afraid of anything tentacled. Now I am. Thanks. LOL!

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  89. That’s fantastic. The trick now is to catch the octopus with the crab so you can cook a lovely seafood dinner for one😀 I’d call it crabpussy soup!

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  90. That is not acceptable behavior for an octopus. They think they’re SO special because they have all those arms? No.

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  91. AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGH! Jesus. I did not know tentacles could flail that quickly. AND NOW I CAN’T UN-KNOW IT.

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  92. Like

  93. OH MY GOD!!!! Alton Brown was right about them taking over the world in the future. Now we have to follow his plan. Eat Them Before They Eat Us! I need calamari and sushi stat, and none of that farm raised crap. I want the ones that eat crabs and sharks and people.

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  94. that’s what you get for teasing Squidworth…. looking at you Bob.

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  95. I think you’re pretty safe, so long as you don’t dress up as a crab when you go to the seaside.
    Other than that I think it’s pretty cool, & proves that the octopus is a much more intelligent creature than it’s usually given credit for.

    Like

  96. Never sit on a toilet without checking it first. That’s an unbreakable rule. Go to the bathroom at night, need to turn the light on and check cause you never know. (Pretty sure this is one of the reasons my ex-husband divorced me, cause I refused to believe the toilet was safe without checking it first)

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  97. So…until today, I was pretty much fine with all things aquatic except moray eels, which are just too smiley for me to trust. My sole thought on tentacle creatures was that I prefer not to eat them (because rubbery). Now, though? No. Just no. Ugh….tentacles…everywhere. Not okay now. Must go self-soothe. Or drink heavily. Either way.

    Like

  98. So I was thinking this would make your skin crawl, just like the octopus. It appears that they are coming to get us, but the flash of a camera will chase them away.

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  99. ditto the ‘better be a kid’ with the camera. oh my God my eyes! I had it maxed on the screen leaning in. Talk about a migraine now.. ouch.

    Like

  100. 109
    Anonymous

    what the shit!?

    Like

  101. 110
    bigjerkbrewing

    If you nope that, you’ll really nope these:
    http://www.king5.com/story/news/local/pets-and-animals/2015/03/04/two-spot-octopus-middlebury-college-go-pro/24400189/
    http://www.kirotv.com/news/news/watch-octopus-tries-make-break-it-seattle-aquarium/nkN4L/
    THE OCTOPI ARE PREPARING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!! Their only weakness is a Fry Daddy and marinara sauce. TO THE STORE!!!!

    Like

  102. Apparently even killing them and serving them up for dinner isn’t enough… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dxQmOR_QLfQ

    Like

  103. If you haven’t watched this “true facts” episode about the octopus, you really need to check it out. I couldn’t stop laughing.🙂 And it seems like your kind of humor, Jenny.

    Like

  104. 113
    Anonymous

    Oh man, I think he’s adorable!! Have you ever seen those cutie pies open a jar with sheer will-and-tentacle-power? I love any animal that could help out around the house.

    Like

  105. I’m going camping at the beach next week. Beware the tidepools.

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  106. To be fair, crabs are delicious

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  107. 118
    Leslie A.

    SweetBabyJesusOnAPogoStick! THAT. IS. TERRIFYING!

    Like

  108. 119
    Julie Smith

    That’s en everyday event here in Australia.😉

    Like

  109. Squid ink pasta is delish. Think of it as revenge. Or reducing the threat.

    Like

  110. I’m giggling at the irony here. As soon as you blog about a phobia, 200 loyal fans will link you 586 videos of even worse examples of what drives you totally batshit spazmoid. Have a heart peeps. ~giggle and looks for Octopi videos~
    What’s really weird is that I just randomly metaphorically octopi-ed on my own blog. Maybe it’s the full moon, which is actually a giant space squid.
    By the way . . . does anyone else find it kind of frightening to even think about having a live crab in your stomach, with pincers and all? Yeeek!!

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  111. I have to go throw up now.

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  112. 123
    Kristine Norton

    Great, now I want calamari & crab for dinner, but it’s the hubs 40th bday & he’s ruled Mexican.

    Like

  113. Holy Crap! That thing can moooooove!

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  114. That was unexpected.

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  115. Just clicked my way to a motherfucking panic attack. So.. that’s possible.

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  116. I’m that way about snakes. Every three years or so, about the time I sort of forget to be worried, there will be yet another report of a snake in someone’s toilet.

    I force myself to be a big girl and go without turning on the light in the middle of the night, but. No, really. I can’t help thinking that one of these days…

    Like

  117. The thing that creeps me out is that it moves like the lady in “The Grudge”–now I have to check my toilet and my closet!

    Like

  118. That is so cool! I had no idea they could do that! wow! Did you see all the debris around the opening of his hiding place. That is called an Octopuses Garden. They toss out everything they can’t digest. So cool!

    Like

  119. My friend’s five year old son just told us this morning that pro football players have to wear plastic protectors on their tentacles.

    Like

  120. I remember a story where fish in the fridge kept going missing from an aquarium, and when they installed a camera they found their octopus would get out of the tank, get into the next room, steal fish, then sneak back.

    Like

  121. 133
    Melissa B

    Heh, the octopus has crabs now…I should get some sleep.

    Like

  122. What what what?! It’s like the Blob but faster!

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  123. So, this led me on a search around the big wide web, which led me to this…

    I will never sleep, shit, eat, come in close proximity to another body of water again. Thanks a fucking lot Jenny.

    I hope this video makes you feel as warm and fuzzy as it did me. Where is my fucking wine?

    Like

  124. Yes Sir. May I have another?
    Octopus escapes through tiny hole

    You are…welcome? 😁

    Like

  125. I don’t think you have enough nopes so I will lend you all the extras that I have. I’ll need them back if I see a spider though.

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  126. Ick. So much ick.

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  127. I take offense. My best friend happens to be a squid.

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  128. I take offense. My best friend happens to be a squid.

    Like

  129. Now I am freaked out. This story about a daring octopus escape attempt (the fuck??) and the words “Giant Pacific Octopus” – NOT. HELPING. http://q13fox.com/2015/03/05/daring-octopus-escape-at-seattle-aquarium-or-something-else-entirely-video/

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  130. Ah, good old Western Australia! I live on the north west coast of Australia (aka The Edge of Nowhere), and I’ve heard stories of squid/octopus eating flat back turtle hatchlings on their way out to sea, and always thought it was a local legend, not real. After watching that I think they might have been right!

    Like

  131. This thread has become like aversion therapy…you see enough of them, you become immune. Or maybe you slip into a fear induced coma. Whatev’s.

    Like

  132. Wait, I seem to remember that somebody has a Kraken umbrella from the Kraken rum people. Who could that be? Kraken’s have tentacles, but maybe they are not so scary when they are drunk. Or when you are drunk. Either way.

    Like

  133. If you can’t beat ’em, eat ’em.

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  134. It is the gasping head that freaked me out!

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  135. I, for one, welcome our octopii overlords.

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  136. Hey, octopuses have a copper-based blood (unlike ours which is iron with a tiny bit of copper), so they tire very easily. Think about that. You CAN run away. They’re also highly intelligent. They’re about as smart as a cat.

    There’s something else to think about: Ferris Mewler is more likely to kill you than an octopus, and they have equal intelligence.

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  137. 152
    Katherine Smith

    The crab was trouble. And asking for it. Octopuses will be our overlords eventually. Submit now.

    Like

  138. Holy SHIT is right! Hahahahahahahaha! Why do I love that NOPE gif so much?

    Like

  139. WE love octopus here, sushi, sashimi or salad.

    Like

  140. The Seattle Aquarium had one on the verge of escaping the other day. They’re out for us, I swear.

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  141. That was a drive-by crabbing.

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  142. I am on the cusp of a panic attack attack and I checked your blog..I am a moron.. Ha :p

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  143. When I was 14 and “tidepooling” on a field trip, an octopus attached itself to my leg and the teacher wouldn’t let me beat it with a rock to get it off, so I had to sit there with my leg in the water until it stopped trying to suck the life out of my shin. Basically, I may have wet my pants a little when I watched this video.

    Like

  144. But did you see the octopus trying to escape from the Seattle Aquarium? The screams in the background could be yours. http://www.buzzfeed.com/alivelez/a-giant-octopus-tried-to-escape-from-the-seattle-aquarium-so?bffb&utm_term=4ldqpgp#.vu0xbAyjo

    Like

  145. 161
    Tracy Anne

    SWEET BABY JESUS, THIS WILL GIVE ME NIGHTMARES FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE! sorry i had to yell, but OMG, that was terrifying. it quite literally made my skin tingle and every muscle in my body tense in horror. Clearly my bad for watching, since you prefaced it, but it was one of those things were i felt like i needed to see it because you shared it…but now i’ll never unsee it and it makes me question my decision making process. So thanks for that. Love you (in a non stalkery, but more sweet/flattering fan kinda way) so yeah, don’t do that again!

    Like

  146. That’s impressive. I personally try to eat my fear for dinner. (There’s a great Thai place that delivers a yummy squid salad to our door.)

    Like

  147. I personally try to eat my fear for dinner. (There is a great Thai place that delivers squid salad to our door.)

    Like

    Karalee Bechtol recently posted Homeless or Happy?.

  148. The video itself….and then that octopus chair!!

    Like

    Lauren Hawkins recently posted God Talks: A Personal Lesson On Loyalty.

  149. 167
    Anonymous

    Unrelated, but have you seen this? Proof positive that men have not changed in the last 70 years. (or possibly forever) http://hoaxes.org/archive/usc_glamour_queen_hoax_1944

    Like

  150. Unrelated, but have you seen this? Proof positive that if you put lipstick on a pig, some guy will hit on it. http://hoaxes.org/archive/usc_glamour_queen_hoax_1944

    Like

  151. In New Zealand, we find prehistoric squids with eyes as big as a freeking basketball. Try to sleep after you see that!

    Like

  152. SOOOOOOO I guess I shouldn’t this surprise to you huh? http://blog.twinkiechan.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/tz8.png

    Like

  153. My sister has the same reaction to possums. It makes for a good time. https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2015/02/20/possum-bilities/

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    kstewand4cats recently posted Let’s Review Your Contract.

  154. Now that you’ve scared the crap out of me, where do I go to the bathroom?

    Like

  155. I actually thought it was quite funny – I love how after the occy grabbed the crab his tentacles were all waving and randomly flapping around, like he was going “WOOHOO I got him! Crab for tea, yum I can’t wait!”

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    Michelle recently posted Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?.

  156. I love octopus. They are so smart. I would like to be an octopus in my next life. But I promise not to occupy Jenny’s toilet.

    Like

  157. I really hope that someone has already shown you this. I kind of don’t want to be the one to break it to you, but it’s so very on topic.

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/alivelez/a-giant-octopus-tried-to-escape-from-the-seattle-aquarium-so?bffb&utm_term=4ldqpgp#.bsEzmaLJA

    Like

  158. 177
    Anonymous

    You think you’re scared – I live three hours from Yallingup and have been there many times! I thought it was the man-eating sharks we had to worry about but now I can’t even go near the freaking rock pools!!

    Like

  159. That’s two of my favorite foods right there!!! I love seafood salad.

    Like

  160. Have you ever tried to do the taxidermy thing on an octopus? An octopus with a giant crab stuck in its gullet?

    Like

    Diane Holcomb recently posted 10 Signs You’ve Got Squirrels in the Doohickey.

  161. Now an octopus riding on a woodpecker – that would be awesome.

    Like

  162. “Yum, yum,” said the octopus, “yum, yum.”

    Like

  163. Holy mother of pearl. Nightmare alert. Damn.

    Like

    Lisa Ancona-Roach recently posted Do Overs and the Theory of Relativity…Well, Kinda.

  164. Sorry for the thread-jack but you’re the best person I could think of for advice on where to find a roughly life-sized giant panda statue, cheap, and I couldn’t figure out a more appropriate place to ask you. I need it to hide in a bamboo grove at my dad’s & his fiance’s new house for their wedding. I can’t afford a $700 bear. Any ideas?

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  165. Like I actually needed an excuse to stay on my couch…

    Like

  166. I’ll confess…I think octopi are cool. And that video? AMAZING. I would love to witness something like that!

    Like

  167. Ha! That’s the animal exemplification of single men around 1 woman in NYC.

    Like

  168. Totally off topic but……fashion squirrel. FASHION SQUIRREL! It was a real thing and I know you, Jenny, will love it. http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/tommy-tucker-fashion-squirrel/2012/04/08/gIQAfHk63S_gallery.html

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    gem recently posted microstory - succubus.

  169. OHMYHEAVENLYHAM!! Why in the hell did I watch that!

    Like

  170. What. The Actual. Fuck.
    Seriously Jenny, 50% of your posts result in nightmares for me. You’re doing it on purpose I’m sure you are…

    Like

    PinkNoam recently posted The Aca-Awesome Weekend!.

  171. Nah, squid are nothing to be afraid of. They’re dumb as a box of rocks. Octopi, on the other hand, those things are freakishly smart…

    Like

  172. VIOLET & EUNICE 4-EVAH!

    https://www.redrocketfarm.com/storytown/a-place-in-the-sea-page-8

    (Have you seen the adorableness of Red Rocket Farm’s “Storybook Town” stories?)

    Like

  173. See, I was actually relieved by the tiny octopus, because I kept expecting that huge dark rock to pop up & do something.

    Like

  174. Ever since a grade 5 student-lead creative presentation on the dangers of toilet monsters, I have never trusted the plumbing system!

    Like

    averyhanaden recently posted Dwindling Unicorn Populations: We are the Problem.

  175. Yeah, this video pretty much cured me of my fear of land shark; now I have something more horrifying to fear. On an entirely unrelated note, I’m meeting David Tennant this weekend. Thought you might appreciate that; you should come to NC, you could meet him too🙂

    Like

  176. I don’t trust anything with fewer than 6 legs.

    Seriously! It’s the two-legged animals that give me the most trouble by far, followed by the four-legged varieties. By the time you get to things like tarantulas, we’re good.

    All I am saying is give octopi a chance.

    Like

    katydidknot recently posted Enemies List.

  177. I thought it was just ME who had this fear. I am also of crustaceans. So this kind of embodies my two worst fears. Thanks Jenny.

    Like

  178. Reminds me of that Stephen King story where the goo is under the raft… once that crab put its toe in the water, it was a goner.

    Like

  179. 199
    Queen Cupcake
  180. I am so glad I’m not the only one. We had one try to escape from the aquarium here. That effing video is horrifying to watch. Also ? Every time I tell someone about my fear, they talk about how smart of an animal an octopus is? I always think “And that matters why?”….

    Like

  181. I hope they don’t have a 1,500-mile range. Otherwise, I am in danger here in Wisconsin.

    Like

    kmkat recently posted This is so cool!.

  182. My one year old daughter thought that video was HILARIOUS.
    I worry about her.

    Like

  183. I think it’s an octopus. They are actually awesome creatures. We’ve been staying in South Africa for a year and here at the beach you sometimes see them in tidal pools. Once I was standing in one and watching an octopus and he darted to the other side. I jumped out of the pool but I don’t think he would have done anything to me. They change their color to blend in. When they are on the sand they are beige and when they move to the rocks they turn whatever color the rock is. It’s actually really cool.

    Like

    Shari recently posted New Book The Secret Lives of the Harvested.

  184. Thank you for ruining my love of tide pooling FOREVER.

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