Also, that fucker ate all the hot pockets.

An imagined open letter from the justifiably disgruntled wife of poet William Carlos Williams, the man who wrote this famed poem:

This is Just to Say 

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

 

Dear literary critics:

You guys are assholes.

Did you even read the poem you claim is so brilliant?  First off, my husband ate all my fruit, and then instead of apologizing in person he left a post-it note admitting that he did it, but that he had a good reason which was basically “I wanted to“.  And not only does he eat all my plums, also he ends the post-it telling me how goddam delicious they are.  I know how delicious plums are.  That’s why I was saving them for breakfast. 

You people read this poem and love it, but really it’s just a not-very-apologetic-apology from a man confessing to mild burglary.  And who do you think had to go out and buy more plums for breakfast because someone promised his parents I’d make plum pancakes for everyone?  Not Mr. I’m-far-too-poetic-to-go-to-Walmart, I’ll tell you that.  Frankly, I don’t even think plum pancakes are a real thing.  They tasted terrible and I’m guessing he just made them up because he’s “poetic and whimsical” and so I ended up having to apologize for the shitty pancakes that I didn’t even want to make.

And then the whole world is like, “DID YOU SEE THIS APOLOGY LETTER?  IT IS THE GREATEST MODERN POEM EVER!”  Just – what?  No.  IT DOESN’T EVEN RHYME.

Frankly, I expected that people reading the apology would be more sympathetic, like, “That guy stole your fruit and then told you how awesome it was?  What a dick“.  But instead everyone is all “GENIUS!  ENCORE!” and now my husband is utterly out of control.  This morning he climbed up into the tree in the front yard wearing only a bathrobe (my bathrobe – because he’s not content to just steal my breakfast, apparently) and he refused to come down because he claims I “purposely” destroyed his latest poem.  It was not a poem.  It was our grocery list.

I told him that no one wants a poem about kitty litter and two-ply toilet paper but he said I don’t understand poetry and that he couldn’t hear me anyway because he was too busy writing a poem about how “trees are very scratchy” and at this point I don’t even know anymore.  Apparently everything is a poem now.

Here’s a poem I just made for you :  There once was a girl from Nantucket.  I wonder if she has some plums I can borrow.  The end.

Oh, Christ.  I just found a leaf on the table with a note scrawled on it reading: “This is just to say that I broke the cat when I fell out of the tree.  Forgive me.  I fell so fast and Mittens was so old.”  

Jesus, people.  Just stop encouraging him.  

Hugs, Mrs. William Carlos Willams

************

And now, the weekly wrap-up of awesomeness:

sid

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This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by the lovely and funny Dave Tank, whose new memoir The Year of the Roses is available right now.  I just bought a copy myself. It’s the true story of Dave spending his thirties traveling the world, always one step away from grasping success and happiness. When his mother dies unexpectedly, he has to leave his life in Paris to return home to face an unsure reality without his best friend.  Dave walks away from his career to take a year to put his life back in order. In that year, he finds the most unlikely of teachers – his mother. Through the journals of her life she had left behind, Dave learns how to see life through her eyes and find true happiness. This was the year two lives became one. The Year of the Roses. Go buy it – one for you, and one for your Mom for Mother’s Day. Details here.

114 replies. read them below or add one

  1. All hail the rude jerk who ate his wife’s food and then quasi apologized with a sorry-not-sorry in-your-face-I-ate-your-fruit pansy-assed poem! Literary critics, what do they know anyway?
    But seriously, can we get a picture of bathrobed hubby in the tree?

    Like

    fillyourownglass recently posted Who Will Defend the Defenders?.

  2. MAGNETS, BITCH!
    I’m sorry, I don’t get the poem thing, but then again, I never do. I am often touched by how poetic my badly translated spam emails are though. I think I just have a broken poem gene:/

    Like

    trillie recently posted It's turtles all the way down..

  3. I second the bathrobed hubby photo request🙂

    Like

    Ann St. Vincent recently posted I invited the wrong man to a party.

  4. Hahahaha this is brilliant!
    But plum pancakes sound terrible – blueberry or banana pancakes are much better!
    I love the ‘sorry not sorry attitude of the poem but that’s as far as my encouragement towards the plum-stealing-douchenugget goes. Promise!

    Like

    amy - toothbrush travels recently posted Chicken Noodle Soup.

  5. I never thought about it this way, but now I am cracking up laughing.

    Like

  6. 6
    joannehuspek

    It was only a PLUM! I’d go ballistic if it were the last bottle of champagne or the last piece of chocolate, but all this hoo-haa over a PLUM? Let him have it and suffer the gastronomical consequences later. Now breaking the cat while falling out of a tree…that’s good stuff.

    Like

  7. My William Carlos Williams inspired poem from a couple of years ago:
    Compost In Springtime
    Rats,
    Two-
    Big motherfuckers.
    I screamed.
    A lot.

    Like

  8. Plums suck anyways. Bleargh.

    Now, if it was the last piece of cheesecake, he’d be a suffering man. Not dead, b/c that’s over too fast.

    Like

    impnotastepford recently posted When I Was Fourteen….

  9. 9
    Ms. Control Issues

    These are my exact feelings about poetry, and I was an English major. I laughed so hard, stolen plums came out of my nose. Kinda painful actually. Can I be Jenny Lawson when I grow up?

    Like

  10. UFB, love plums but pancakes? Really? Tell him to get dressed and take his parents to Cracker Barrel, you’re sleeping in!

    Like

  11. 11
    Ms. Control Issues

    There are my exact feelings about poetry, and I was an English major. I laughed so hard, stolen plums came out of my nose. Kinda painful actually. Can I be Jenny Lawson when I grow up?

    Like

  12. i love this a little too much. #mustgetplums

    Like

  13. And there always this poem I wrote on her behalf. (I’m so glad you get me, Jenny. You really do.)
    http://convozine.com/10591-la-smith/11624

    Like

  14. This is just to say I piled up the car. We still have some payments, but the tree was so sneaky.

    Like

    notquiteold recently posted The Naked Truth.

  15. I actually knew of William Carlos Williams only because he wrote a collection of short stories called “The Doctor Stories”–or maybe he didn’t intend it to be a collection and someone just put them all together in one book. I remember starting to read it and being underwhelmed, and I don’t remember if I ever actually finished the book. But now that you’ve reminded me he exists, I may go look to see if I still have it, and reread it. Knowing he is a fruit thief/inconsiderate husband might cause me to see the stories in a different light.

    P.S. I’m way more excited to read your new book than William Carlos Williams’ old book!

    Like

  16. Suck it rhymes with Nantucket…

    Like

  17. Holy shit. I hope our grandkids are reading you in 9th grade English.

    Like

  18. My ex and his current boyfriend almost broke up one time because my ex ate the last of the Nutella, even though his boyfriend asked him not to. True story. Too bad my ex isn’t more familiar with poetry, because he could have just yelled, “WILLIAM CARLOS WILLIAMS, BITCH,” which is the literary equivalent of “PIRATE LAW, MOTHERFUCKER.”

    Like

    Sweeney J. recently posted Of Human Bondage Buddies (or, Acceptance is the Kink).

  19. A Poem for Victor

    I went to
    the store
    and did not
    buy the towels

    you forbade
    me to buy
    Instead
    I bought

    a giant
    metal chicken
    Her name is
    Beyoncé

    Like

    Kara recently posted Orphan Black – Season 1, Ep 1, Full Episode.

  20. An Ode To The Kitchen God

    I baked
    Muffins
    Corn muffins
    With blueberries
    I wanted to use raspberries
    But they had gone bad
    I forgot to throw them out
    Husband put them in his cereal
    Knowing full well
    They were for the muffins
    Not knowing they were sour
    Later in the day
    The beautiful sunshiny day
    He felt sick
    A sharp pain in his belly
    He ran to the bathroom
    My blueberry muffins filled the house
    With sweet aromas
    Of baking and butter and blueberries
    And I had them all to myself

    Like

    Sheila Blanchette recently posted LIFE IS ALL THIS – AVAILABLE NOW ON AMAZON.

  21. Well this is just too say I LOVE the GOT pic of you!! It starts tonight, right? Can it really be?!? I do believe summer is coming.🙂

    Like

    kdcol recently posted Just a hop, skip, and a bus ride.

  22. 22
    Mickie_Flynn
  23. I used to make my students write their own apology poems, and I would get the best results. “Forgive me, I used the last of the toilet paper. It wa 3-ply and so, so soft” is one that I always remember.

    Like

  24. I have cut off
    Your sticky, snatchy
    Plumb-stealing fingers and
    I’m so sorry…

    Not sorry, you tool.
    I know that
    You needed them to
    Pick your nose.

    You had t’be stopped
    Before you took
    The last yogurt, or
    Worse! The beer!

    Fucker.

    Like

    Rachel recently posted I'm An Idiot.

  25. I’m trying to think of plum flavored things I like…and the only thing that comes to mind is an actual plum. You’re welcome for the deepest comment ever written.

    Like

  26. Let him have the hot pockets….he will pay later for that…..

    Like

  27. 27
    jenrevenant

    Ugh, I’ve always hated that poem. Seriously, I would have shared if he’d just asked.

    Like

  28. I’ve always loved the poet Kenneth Koch’s version! I think it captures the giant middle finger WCW was actually giving the reader:

    Variations on a Theme by William Carlos Williams
    BY KENNETH KOCH
    1
    I chopped down the house that you had been saving to live in next
    summer.
    I am sorry, but it was morning, and I had nothing to do
    and its wooden beams were so inviting.
    2
    We laughed at the hollyhocks together
    and then I sprayed them with lye.
    Forgive me. I simply do not know what I am doing.
    3
    I gave away the money that you had been saving to live on for the next ten
    years.
    The man who asked for it was shabby
    and the firm March wind on the porch was so juicy and cold.
    4
    Last evening we went dancing and I broke your leg.
    Forgive me. I was clumsy, and
    I wanted you here in the wards, where I am the doctor!

    Kenneth Koch, “Variations on a Theme by William Carlos Williams” from The Collected Poems of Kenneth Koch, published by Alfred A. Knopf, Inc. Copyright © 2005 by Kenneth Koch.

    Like

  29. 29
    ocularnervosa

    If the note had said “Those darn kids ate your plums again” I doubt anyone would be immortalizing it. BTW, blaming the kids is a way smarter way to get away with eating someones “special breakfast food” because of course the kids will deny it thus causing the mother to blame them even more and when the father steps in and punishes the kids he’s probably going to get his own “special” reward later. It’s the perfect crime people!

    If you ask me I think Adam killed Able, father jealousy, blamed Cain and then got busy with Eve after the kid was gone. That’s why there are so many people in the world.

    Like

  30. I think you and all the comments have outdone yourselves today!!! I love this!!

    Like

  31. I made pancakes this morning for all. I hate it when I have to make a second batch of batter because there wasn’t enough in the first. I really wish those boxes would get it right, makes 6 to 8 my ass. No plums though. I don’t like plums.

    Like

  32. I love that poem, have always loved it. And it’s so easy to parody:

    I have eaten
    the hobnobs
    that were in
    the pantry

    and which
    I was maybe
    saving
    for you

    Forgive me
    they were yummy
    so sweet
    and full of oats

    (written to my husband when I really did pig out on the hobnobs)

    Your letter to the literary critics made me blow coffe through my nose. Which, of course, is why I love you.

    Like

    marydpierce recently posted A Stupid Place.

  33. In my totally unbiased opinion, that book you referenced at the end sounds OUTSTANDING.

    Like

  34. 34
    Joanna Harvey

    My husband eats ice cream. In front of the kids. In the middle of the day. And when they give puppy dog eyes, he moans in rapture and says, “Oh! This ice cream is SO good!”

    So my son got to be 12. We all shared the leftover Christmas pie. When my husband came home from work, he went straight to the fridge, then exclaimed, aghast, “Who ate my pie?!?” My son looked him straight in the eye, sighed contentedly and said, “I ate your pie. And it was SO good.”

    My husband was in shock. I was in awe of that set down, 12 years in the making. And then we laughed and laughed. One of us cried a little at the loss of pie.

    Like

  35. Ask Victor if, while he was up the tree, he saw petals on a wet, black bough. Now -there’s- some good poetry!

    Like

    Janet Coburn recently posted Cats, etc.: Sir Boinks-a-Lot.

  36. Dear Ms Lawson

    In spite of your understandable tirade against Mr Williams, it behoves us to mention to you that were we NOT to laud efforts like this and cause great debates amongst the unwashed masses, those unholy souls in charge of the curriculum would like as not do to English what the Common Core has done to mathematics.

    Certainly your thoughts on the deliciousness of plums or the relative morality of ‘mild theft’ are fascinating, but really, we’re trying to save children from an education which involves juxtaposing the subjunctive collectives of a standard lexical structure, in a reverse double-helix, just because the minister for education Said So.

    Just sayin’

    Regards,

    Literary Critics.

    P.S. Thanks for raising the profile of literature, literacy, and new books. You’re making our lives much more hope-filled. May all your readers become imbued with such passion for Word.

    Like

  37. And, who the hell wants to steal plums, anyway. Critics are just weird.

    Like

    Manicmom recently posted What was the thing with sports, again?.

  38. Funny. Thanks for the laugh.🙂

    Like

  39. 39
    Lucia Von Letkemann

    I love your brain. So. Much.

    Like

  40. I work at a facility that takes in kids with emotional issues– we have a lot of kids who cut, for example. Throughout my shift we have different groups for the kids to do– coping skills, art, etc. I decided to try something new for education group, and printed out several different poetry snippets, than asked the kids to pick one, and draw whatever emotional response it evoked. It could be part of the actual imagery of the poem, or just something they thought of while reading it. This poem was in that bunch, and an older teen boy picked it. I was really curious to see what he would do, as I liked the sort of elegant simplicity of it, and was really interested to see what he would get out of it.

    He drew plums. On top of a fridge. In a poem about a phoned in apology I got a phoned in drawing.🙂

    It was all good though– we teased him (all good naturedly) until he finally laughed and admitted that he just wanted to play basketball.🙂

    Like

  41. I loved this, Jennifer. Brilliant goddamn, even if it isn’t a poem. Because it’s a BLOG people. To all the literary critics out there, please pick a poem NOT about plums.

    Like

  42. The first thing I ever wrote when I was a kid was a cross between a story and a poem. It was:

    There once was a little fish
    A shark was chasing him
    Too late the shark got him
    And the little fish was never seen again.

    I was 6. I shit you not. I’ve always had a dark poetic side and have been wearing black ever since. 😛

    Like

  43. In case you’re not already a fan of The Toast, these should convert you:
    http://the-toast.net/?s=william+carlos+williams

    I could read William Carlos Williams complaints and parodies all day long. “I fell so fast and Mittens was so old.” Do more please.

    Like

  44. That is my favorite poem, precisely because it is such a dick move and a poke at deep poetry.

    Like

  45. I need a picture of myself on that throne. Because that is fucking awesome.

    Like

  46. Hahaha I’m sure a bunch of people will also point this out, but the whole point of that poem IS that he’s being a dick. It’s not a real apology. It’s more like a “Hey, guess what? Our relationship is like the worst and now all we do is passive aggressively try to piss each other off with fruit theft. And guess what? I LIKED IT! Oh yeah, that fruit theft was the highlight of my day, you miserable old…I mean, ùh, sorry dear.”

    Like

  47. There is no such thing
    as a victimless crime when
    it comes to my plums.

    Like

  48. can’t argue with your logic, nope, not me, cause I HATE it when I go to the fridge to get something I have been saving and it is gone. No poem is gonna make me feel better.

    Like

    Mary-Anne recently posted J is for Justice.

  49. I love poetry, but the kind of pretentiousness that comes along with it drives me nuts. You articulated my feelings about this poem SO WELL.

    Like

  50. Now THIS is genius.

    Like

    Andie recently posted Girls and Defiance..

  51. I actually did a graduate paper on this poem, and most literary critics state that this poem is him apologizing for having an affair, because they weren’t having sex. But he’s sorry now, and they should have sex, and so they do. After doing the paper I find this poem to be incredibly sexy, but I’m also a huge nerd, so research on things gets me excited. I was once doing a paper on King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table, found an entire journal dedicated to everything Arthurian, and basically had to be put to bed because I was so overwhelmed and excited.

    Like

  52. I forgive myself
    For eating toast
    In the night
    In bed
    Crumbs!

    Like

  53. Very sexy….the crumbs

    Like

  54. So I was checking out the cool hourglass and I noticed that Amazon showed this item under the category “Customers who bought this also bought…” http://amzn.com/B004E4EQOY It’s a runny nose shower dispenser. Sooooooo… yeah. Kind of missing the connection between beautiful magnetic art and a giant nose that looks like it’s dripping snot.

    Like

  55. So I was checking out the cool hourglass and I noticed that Amazon showed this item under the category “Customers who bought this also bought…” http://amzn.com/B004E4EQOY It’s a runny nose shower dispenser. Sooooooo… yeah. Kind of missing the connection between beautiful magnetic art and a giant nose that looks like it’s dripping snot.

    Like

  56. And THIS is why we love you!

    Like

  57. Reply

    (crumped on her desk)

    Dear Bill: I’ve made a
    couple of sandwiches for you.
    In the ice-box you’ll find
    blue-berries–a cup of grapefruit
    a glass of cold coffee.

    On the stove is the tea-pot
    with enough tea leaves
    for you to make tea if you
    prefer–Just light the gas–
    boil the water and put it in the tea

    Plenty of bread in the bread-box
    and butter and eggs–
    I didn’t know just what to
    make for you. Several people
    called up about office hours–

    See you later. Love. Floss.

    Please switch off the telephone.

    Florence Williams’ reply to This is Just to Say

    Like

  58. At least he owns up to eating them. Something to be said for honesty.

    Like

    Sandy the Fearless Scribe recently posted The fries from McDonald's song.

  59. She should have written a poem back to him :

    You ate my delicious plums
    I am coming after your bums

    You’ll today learn a lesson well
    To at-least never eat and tell

    Ha! How about that!

    Like

  60. She should have replied like this:

    You ate my delicious plums
    I’m coming after your bums

    You’ll today learn a lesson well
    To at-least never eat and tell

    Ha! How about that!

    Like

    surabhi recently posted The Blog Of All Happy Things, Chapter 1.

  61. There’s nothing like this blog in the Multiverse.
    Nothing.
    Thank you, Jenny, for being so damn indescribable and nutty.

    Like

    The Hook recently posted Self-Reflection, Cheerleaders and Naughty Baked Goods..

  62. Bahahahaha! Yes, whatever you do, don’t encourage him!

    Like

  63. This is just to say
    that at the party
    last night when
    you
    were progressively getting
    drunker
    and turned to
    me
    asking about
    the husband/boyfriend that I don’t have,

    I could have
    killed you
    with anything in my purse or
    the fried mushrooms on the table
    like a psychotic McGyver.

    …..
    I love all these comments. Thank you for the blog post inspiration. I was going to write about this conversation from last night, but this works even better!

    Like

    kstewand4cats recently posted This is Just to Say, Bitches.

  64. I’ve never understood poetry critics, or critics of any sort really. And that poem confirms it!

    Like

    Lauren Hawkins recently posted IAWC: Round One.

  65. I reckon all the poetry in the world should be replaced with the written words of The Bloggess😀

    Like

    Gary Lum recently posted Super Saturday salmon sandwiches.

  66. Poetry has always confounded me, but this one takes the gold!

    Like

    May recently posted Ramblings of a Post-A-Level Student.

  67. I remember reading that poem in high school, and while everyone else was praising its structure and imagery, I just thought the guy sounded like a dick. And when my English teacher insisted that I provide a “positive critique,” I said that at least Williams owned up to it a little, unlike my boyfriend who would eat all my Cheetos and then we would have the following conversation:
    Me: “Have you seen a big bag of Cheetos around here?”
    Him: (hastily wiping orange dust on his jeans). “Huh? No! I don’t think you bought any. You should go buy some.”
    I think that’s when my English teacher and I both knew it was going to be a long year.

    Like

  68. Awesome! Also awesome is this: http://www.writing.upenn.edu/~afilreis/88v/variations.html?hc_location=ufi – someone posted the link to my FB share of your review.

    Like

  69. lol I we just had a discussion about William Carlos Williams in one of my English Lit classes. And, to be honest, I wouldn’t mind at all to read a poem about kitty litter. It would be a nice change of pace for me.

    TO THE BLOGGESS’S HUSBAND: Continue your kitty litter poetry writing dreams!

    Like

  70. ROFLMAO. I was a literature major and my reaction was incredibly similar. When I read this poem, I was like… What. the. fuck.. Why is this poetry? There’s nothing poetic about it! The imagery is boring, the meaning is idioitic, there’s just nothing. This is the modern art installation of poetry.

    Like

  71. The worst part is, plums taste best when they are warm from the sun, not cold from the ice box. He stole the plums, ate them at their worst, and enjoyed it.

    Like

  72. 72
    prickly pear

    but HE LEFT A NOTE. I honestly don’t why we even try.

    Like

  73. I did a four-year English degree and got honours, but never got poetry. It’s my guilty secret. Not enough words. Give me a doorstop Victorian novel any day.

    Like

  74. You get it. You actually get it. Lord love you and damn all the moochers.

    Like

    Cary Vaughn recently posted Do You Change When You’re Gay?.

  75. I never got that poem. I always thought it was about sex. Then again, I think everything is about sex.

    Like

  76. Jenny, I freaking love you! I laughed so loud my husband thought I was choking or something and came running to check on me. Will you please make a pic or drawing with the poet in the tree? I need that on a mug or a bag or something like that.

    Like

    Michelle recently posted Writer Energy Level Low.

  77. Have you seen this awesomeness???

    Like

  78. Hmmm I now want ice cold plums from someone’s ice box!

    Like

  79. Little did William Carlos Williams know that his wife was fed up with all his sh*t and actually poisoned the plums… Analyse that literary critics!

    Like

    charlottescornerblog recently posted FictionFriday #3.

  80. Holy hell….you do belong on the iron throne. George R R Martin needs to get on that. OMG..I am on to something NO ONE WOULD EXPECT THAT TWIST.

    Like

    Michelle recently posted 13 More Things I Learned From Being Married 3 Times.

  81. When I was in high school my English teacher told us she couldn’t let us read that poem because it was about sex. Now here I am with a degree in English and years of reading literary criticism and I still have yet to find anything about William Carlos Williams fucking fruit.

    Like

  82. Indeed, I enjoyed the wife’s response far more than the dumb non-rhyming poem.😉

    Like

  83. Thank you for the discount. I bought the mug I wanted. Amazon Prime has me spoiled on free shipping so I saw the s&h and almost blew a gasket. But I’m getting my DUSC mug, and I want to put stabbing implements in it instead of pencils or coffee, so I feel empowered.
    Also, someone on your facebook said something profound about you that has affected me so much because I’ve been fangirling for so long now. I’ll just say what she said:
    I really like you.

    Like

    Andi Reis recently posted Leverage browser caching or no one will love you.

  84. The people who love this “poem” are also likely Twilight fans. There ya go. And I LOVE you on the throne! Oh.. that sounded way better in my head.

    Like

    onanotherfreakingmission recently posted Besties , Bullshit, and Balance.

  85. Remember rule #1: Victor is right. And he’s a poet. You lucked out, girl.

    Like

  86. I don’t think you understand how funny this is.

    Like

  87. Dear Mrs. Carlos Williams: I think your mistake was making regular pancakes. Yeah, I can believe they tasted like crap. Did you puree the plums??? or were they left as big chunks in the pancakes? See? There was the error. You should have made an OVEN pancake (they are also referred to as German pancakes or Dutch Babies – not sure why the Teutonic influence, maybe the people in Prussia were skillet-less, but loved their ovens…who knows?) Anyway, the pancake would have puffed up nicely with the sliced plums nestled in its eggy, buttery goodness. The in-laws would have loved you and felt very unkindly toward their own offspring…so points for you!! BTW…the pancake also works well with peaches…just sayin’…

    Like

  88. I always thought of this poem as an eloquent way of saying, “sorry, not sorry.”

    Like

  89. Who the hell keeps plums in the refrigerator?!

    Like

  90. Don’t put shit
    in the pancakes,
    it only ruins
    the pancakes.

    In fact, fuck
    the pancakes.
    Make
    french toast.

    Like

    Lynette recently posted Party Poop and the Disco Gallbladder.

  91. Favorite post of the year!

    Like

  92. Ugggg….I hate plum-eating poets.

    Like

    Diana Davis recently posted HEY, IS THAT A SANDSTONE STATUE OF YOU AND YOUR CAT?.

  93. There was the other one he wrote about dancing around in the attic naked. Wonder what Mrs. WCW thought about that one?

    Like

  94. She should have replied like this:

    You ate my delicious plums
    I’m coming after your bums

    You’ll today learn a lesson well
    To at-least never eat and tell

    Ha! How about that!

    Like

    surabhi recently posted Let's switch our vocal chords.

  95. dear bloggess,
    i would like you to know that you have actually interpreted this poem correctly. when i first read this poem in my modern literature class, the professor explained to us that WCW wrote this poem in response to other poets of his time, namely TS Eliot. the intention of the poem is that it is supposed to be sassy. its supposed to be simple. WCW was trying to make the point that poetry is for everyone. you don’t have to be a scholar or a critic to enjoy poetry, and more than anything, poetry is allowed to be FUNNY. WCW meant to make poetry accessible when the other nitwits of his generation (TS Eliot) were trying to show off all the references to greek tragedies and whatnot that they knew. and I appreciate him for this. (and if you’ve ever tried to read “the wasteland”, you will understand why WCW needed to pull out some sass.)

    so laugh on! and create your own poetry in the spirit of WCW! its what he intended!

    Like

  96. William Carlos Williams is much more my speed than Whovians are, but I really like the idea of the TARDIS dress you’ve featured on your left sidebar as a “thing you love today.” Every time you eat pizza you can pretend you’re sending cheese and pepperoni off on an expedition through space and time!

    Like

  97. 97
    Teri the Mermaid

    In total agreement of photo of bathrobed hubby in tree writing a poem. Maybe Wil Wheaton would be up for posing😀

    Like

  98. WCW better not touch my Nutella. I’m just sayin’.

    And now for a bit of awesomeness: Millie, the rock climbing cat –

    http://www.backcountry.com/explore/my-climbing-partner-eats-chicken-liver

    Like

    Phoenix Woman recently posted Stratfor on the conflict in Europe.

  99. I’m sorry if this a repeat since I’m fairly certain you’ve said it somewhere before: But what make/model snowcone machine do you have? I’m thinking it’s time to make an investment in my mental health by way of readily available joy errr…snowcones…Thank you!!

    (Our’s is a Little Snowie home version. It was a couple hundred dollars but we’ve had it at least 5 years and still use it every week. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  100. 100
    Mendota Waves

    I have seen many funny replies to this poem…my favorite is this one:
    by Dixon

    April 24, 2008

    This is Just to Say

    I cleaned
    the toilet
    with your
    toothbrush

    which you probably
    expected
    to be sanitary
    in the morning

    Forgive me
    it worked great
    so pink
    and so stiff

    Like

  101. You are stifling his artistic flow! #Stifler
    Just kidding, he is clearly out of control. Also plum pancakes are SO NOT a Thing and someone deserves to be punished. Also ALSO you should use this opportunity to treat yourself to something fancy for your hair: http://static.neatorama.com/misscellania/guineapighaircomb.jpg

    I like limericks.

    Like

    Shannon akaMonty recently posted You will be amazed at how you feel after reading this! #UpworthyTitles.

  102. 102
    Lynn Haraldson

    Definitely using this in class as an example of deconstruction theory. Or maybe it’s feminist. Or Marxist. Anyway, I just hope grad students have a sense of humor.

    Like

  103. Oh wow. As a writer, I can tell you that you have so picked the wrong target for poetry complaints. Try reading some Jorie Graham. Then tell me if her work doesn’t make William Carlos Williams sound like a friend to us all.

    Like

  104. Omg, I loved this so much that I posted it to my college Eng prof. And these inspired poems in the comments are awesome!

    Like

  105. I loved this one. I laughed so hard I scared the cat.

    Like

  106. I teach creative writing in “under-resourced public schools.” I am SO going to steal this, clean it up a little (can’t swear, even in the under-resourced classroom), and then make my students write a similar response to a piece. Thanks!

    Like

  107. I’m sorry you didn’t like WCW’s poem, maybe you’ll like mine about eating a mango? =)

    http://www.wordperv.com/2015/04/16/mango/

    Like

    courtneybirst recently posted Mango.

  108. Yes, your husband is an asshole for eating your plums. Frankly, had they been Entenmann’s chocolate frosted donuts, I would have taken them ALL, hidden in the bathroom, securely locked the door, and devoured the whole box, leaving no apology and no poem. Beware. Compared to me, your husband is a prince.

    Like

  109. I’ve eaten Little A’s Reese’s Easter Bunny.
    Again.
    I kept the box looking sealed because she thinks it’s still in there.
    I am quasi-sorry, only because Kroger doesn’t have them at 75% off anymore.
    (This is not a love poem.)

    Like

  110. You have utterly ruined William Carlos Williams for me forever. But in the best way. Also you made my friend Judy pee her pants.

    Like

  111. Please make an I can’t go back to prison shirt for grown ups with lady parts

    Like

  112. Reblogged this on The Perks of Being an Artist and commented:
    A little late for National Poetry Month, but totally amazeballs:

    Like

  113. 113
    ocindyocindy

    The Year of the Roses – might not suit everybody – downplayed anxiety; downplayed depression; whole lots of family love – and it is very very real in that particular place.

    Like

  114. 114
    ocindyocindy

    Read between the lines. (Shoot – when am I going to learn to write a draft & wait a minute for my next thought before posting….)

    Like

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