I love your funny face. #WERUINEVERYTHING

So!  Last week my friend Maile and I went to the Mom 2.0 Summit and it was quite lovely but we decided that instead of posting the typical conference selfies we should change things up a bit and post the most unflattering pictures we could possibly take.  We did the first one on the plane and it was so ridiculous that even instagram wouldn’t post it.  It might have been a glitch but we assumed it was instagram saying, “No.  You don’t mean to post this. Have you been drinking again?  We’re cutting you off until you come to your senses.”  But we had no senses to come to and we couldn’t stop laughing at the picture and so we shared  it on twitter.

Then when we landed we found out that the picture was shared so much that it was the very thing that got the conference hashtag trending.  So…yeah.

funny faces2

This is the point when I had to apologize to the conference organizers but they didn’t care because I’ve known them for 10 years so they knew what to expect of me.  Which is “very little“.  This is one advantage of having a terrible reputation.

What was nice though was that although it was a little terrifying publishing such a horrific picture it was actually also surprisingly freeing.  No matter what photo we found ourselves tagged in that week we were guaranteed that it couldn’t be any worse than what we’d shared ourselves.  Even if someone intentionally posted something terrible we could say, “No. Sorry.  We did it worse already.”  Plus, we automatically looked much better in person because we’d set up people to assume we look like giant thumbs or penises.

I was presenting an Iris Award at the conference and mostly I just hid backstage and made Andrew McCarthy uncomfortable by sitting cross-legged on the floor and staring at him, but on the way in we had to take red carpet pictures and we’d decided that there were already too many pretty people there so instead we’d just do inappropriate poses until they asked us to leave.

And that’s how you do a red carpet.  Deep, royal curtsies.  #WE RUIN EVERYTHING:

curtsey

From Maile : “You so win curtsy-ing. I look like a bear trying to find a hole to poop in.”

Other flattering red carpet poses: the 1930’s Muscle Men:

muscle men

 …And the eternally classic we-just-found-a-dead-body red carpet pose.  Always elegant.

dead body

It only took a few minutes before they gave up and shooed us off but we still had more to give.  This is my favorite and I literally laugh out loud every single time I look at it.

I like this one because it looks like Maile is my shy little sister who seldom leaves her closet and also that we share an arm.

I like this one because it looks like Maile is my shy little sister who almost never leaves the basement we live in, and also that we share an arm.

I did manage to take one good picture as I ran out to the nerd bus (which we self-named because we were the first people to hurry back to the hotel while everyone else started dancing) and that was a picture of my using Andrew McCarthy as a coaster.  Not even intentional, y’all.  I can’t take a good picture even when I’m trying.  Please contact me, Mr. McCarthy, with your dry cleaning bill.

me: I LOVED YOU IN MANNEQUIN.  Him:  Marry me.  (Only one of these things was said out loud.)

me: I LOVED YOU IN MANNEQUIN. Him: MARRY ME. (Only one of these things was actually said out loud.)

Point is, posting a terrible photo of yourself making ridiculous faces is fantastic.  And hilarious.  And incredibly freeing.  I encourage you to do it yourself.  Share it in the comments.  Send it to your friends.  Post it on instagram.  Relive those moments when your mother would say “YOUR FACE WILL FREEZE LIKE THAT” while you and your sister laugh hysterically as you lick the car windows and make pig noses at the people driving in the next lane.  Honestly, I cannot recommend it enough.

UPDATED:  Everyone and their cat is doing that website where you upload your photo and the computer tells you how old you look so I decided to try it:

how old

 

Oh, you flatterer.

110 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Brilliant. I’m off to find all my atrocious selfies.

    (Don’t forget to share. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  2. I believe in taking 200 selfies in order to get 1 good one. More than 200 is just vanity.

    Like

    notquiteold recently posted Music Lessons.

  3. I have three of those neck wrinkle photos as my blog banner all taken at the doctor’s office (one on my business card). So unflattering but they make me laugh every time I log in. Looks like you had lots of fun!

    Like

    Kristine @ MumRevised recently posted What Your Choice of Movie Snacks Says About You.

  4. Those are amazing, brave, and wonderful. I should make those faces on my dating profiles, yes??

    (Yes. I would totally date you. ~ Jenny)

    Like

    Ann St. Vincent recently posted Part Three | What not to do when you are planning to break up with someone.

  5. Thank you! Both my daughter and I have been doing the “let’s make the weirdest faces possible” thing for about a year now. And it’s awesome.

    Like

  6. My 17 chins put any of yours to shame. Great pics, thanks for keeping it real. You’re just like Jenny From The Block!

    Like

    terib19 recently posted Only Trollops Shave Above the Knee.

  7. I tried, but all my selfies were still devastatingly handsome…

    Like

  8. The only thing we need is a really catchy hashtag…

    Like

    pandypuddingpie recently posted The lure of discovery and adventure.

  9. Terrible selfies are an art I deeply appreciate. It was hard to pick just one! http://i.imgur.com/RV9bcD1.jpg

    Like

  10. I have hurt my neck making ugly selfies on more than one occasion. It was totally worth it however.

    Like

  11. Yeah, sorry but no. I am a photophobe. It’s a very personal thing. I’ve hated being in pictures since I was a kidlet. I can count on 1 hand the number of pics I have of me where I think “Whoa, you look mighty damn fine right there.”

    My current social media profile pics are all of the back of my head. On the plus side, when I meet people and get my picture taken with them, they turn their backs to the camera, too. Alton Brown, Michael Nesmith and all of Blue October have done this for me.

    (I sort of love this. But I hate the back of my head so I’d have to wear a hat if I ever take a picture with you. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  12. I think you should go for one of those extreme up high shots that people take! Okay I am guilty of this to avoid the Jabba the hut chin

    Like

  13. Before you marry Andrew McCarthy, you need to make sure he’s OK with a giant metal chicken on the doorstep- and also, Victor. Love the pictures, especially the dead body on the red carpet.

    Like

  14. laughing so hard right now!

    Like

  15. My wedding photographer was irked at me because I kept making faces. But, seriously, those are my best bride pictures because they are the most hilarious and delightful and I look like me, albeit a weird me. But weird is me so I look like me!

    Like

  16. Some of those pictures look like the ones my SIL loves to tag me in on Facebook, except I never look as if I’m having that much fun.

    Like

  17. I’m traveling around the world, and have been taking lots of pictures of myself in various amazing locations. I started making ridiculous faces in them because I think it shows how much fun I’m actually having instead of the frozen smile that you’re “supposed” to wear. Also, it annoys my family.

    Like

  18. The curtsies photo is my absolute favourite! Closely followed by the dead body one, because it’s obviously the start of a great ‘Murder, she Wrote’ type story that I can now make up in my head when bored or “working from home”…. Always fabulous! xx

    Like

  19. ALL of my pix are horrifying.. I suppose it is because they look like me.. lol

    Like

    itzybellababy recently posted Home Again, What to Do?.

  20. I adore you!

    Like

  21. Jenny, if you tour for the new book, just bring Wolf Blitzer with you. He’ll work fine in place of a hat.

    Like

  22. 23
    Jensownzoo

    The super-pretty dress just makes it that much better!

    (I bought it because it has pockets. POCKETS! ~ Jenny)

    Like

  23. The worst pics are sometimes the best for they show the true feelings of the event, so much power to you for sharing the good and the bad with us!

    Like

    Sin recently posted has it really been 14 years?.

  24. You need to make a fake Tinder account with all of those face photos. I feel like magic would ensue.

    Like

  25. 26
    Robert in Chicago

    Shame on you, you are being cruel to those of us with no chins to speak of. Also, for your “red carpet” pictures, shouldn’t you be on, you know, a carpet? One that is dyed red?

    Like

  26. I mean… I’d swipe right

    Like

    tanktronic recently posted Shit That Needs to Stop : Tinder.

  27. Hilarious, Jenny. You just made my day a little nicer. And I don’t feel like reading this gigantor work document in front of me so this was a needed distraction.

    Like

    kdcol recently posted The dance, part two.

  28. My sister and I actually have a whole site dedicated to terrible selfies! We call them “creepy faces” and our site is creepyfaceaday.tumblr.com
    /shameless self promotion

    It really is freeing to take the worst pictures imaginable. Creepy faces make me feel so… powerful.

    Like

    Katy Bug recently posted “That’s Not An Extra Nipple”Katy Bug.  Friday,....

  29. I wrote an entire post about the horrible photos I take.

    I just can’t look normal. http://dairycarrie.com/2012/11/28/badphotos/

    Like

    dairycarrie recently posted Humans of Agriculture- Alise’s Story..

  30. I love you and Maile and your faces and shared arm AND your Mom2 twitter impressions. Really. Love. Glad I got a hug and you got to sit back there while I tried to learn how to produce a show and wore a headset and was all WHATTTTTTT. Anyway it was comforting to me so thanks.

    Like

  31. The poor chin. Such an unappreciated facial feature that is seemingly forgotten until a pic like this shows up and you realize how important that protuberance truly is.

    Like

    A Crock of Schmidt recently posted My Swinging Days Are Over.

  32. I love this and so agree that it can be freeing I posted about mine awhile ago here http://livingthescream.com/funny-stories/the-worst-selfie-ever/

    Like

  33. Yeah, and then you post the one of you and Andrew. Too high of a bar for me.!

    Like

  34. I love this. The antithesis to all that ‘is’ the red carpet. Thank you for that and the laughs.

    Like

  35. You two are hilarious! Thanks for the laughs!!

    Like

  36. Oh dear, here goes LOL I’m calling this my pirate Elvis. The things I do following you giggles madly Never change woman! I mean… change your clothing… and hair if it suites you… you know what I mean! ~ Shawna

    Like

  37. This kind of reminds me of when I was a child and I thought turning my head to the side would be a signature look for pictures, but I missed subtlety (as small children often do) and instead looked like I was trying to put my ear on my shoulder in every picture taken of me for about a year.

    Also I did that photo age thing and it said a nice picture of me with makeup and hair done I looked 20 years old, and a no makeup chilling in my PJs selfie was 46. I’m 28. And insulted.

    Your pictures are amazing and now I won’t feel bad when I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror at the gym sweaty red faced and weird angled.

    Like

  38. Gods and goddesses that is MUCH bigger than I expected it to be ROFLMAO oy vey
    Also I buy dresses from eshakti.com because they make dresses with pockets. It is glorious.

    Like

  39. You actually have a beautiful smile, wether you like it or not!

    Like

  40. Both my first and second mother in laws chose to display the only wedding photos in which I have multiple side neck wrinkles. One in size 11×14! I guess that must just be how I look. 😦

    Like

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  41. My friends and I randomly send each other boob selfies. Fully clothed, of course, but still. Usually on Tuesday, or Titty Tuesday as we like to call it. Nothing like a boob selfie to brighten your day!

    Like

  42. I hate to be the one to have to tell you, but even your ‘bad’ selfies are adorable. Gonna have to try harder.

    Like

    The Dusty Parachute recently posted Come Touch All The Trucks at Touch-A-Truck.

  43. This post is made of 100% awesome. And I am totally jealous that you met Blaine from Pretty in Pink.

    Like

    Karen Marie Peterson recently posted Josh Hamilton and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Contract.

  44. 45
    Rachel CrazyMum

    Silly faces? I didn’t get up past your cleavage! Lol

    Like

  45. This is the highlight of my day. I love you so fucking much.

    Like

    Michelle recently posted Listen To Your Mother: I Came, I Saw, I Listened.

  46. Love the idea, though I don’t do selfies because I look horrendous without even trying.

    Like

  47. Guess what? You just gave me my new mantra: “No. Sorry. We did it worse already.” I LOVE this:). Works for just about everything!

    Like

    candidkay recently posted A report from the front lines.

  48. I know I am totally missing the point of this but OMG, Andrew McCarthy! I have had a crush on him forever and I cannot stop looking at that picture and thinking about how I am going to download it and photoshop my face on there and pin it to my wall and act like he is my boyfriend. TMI?

    Like

  49. You are so freaking hilarious. Thank you for this post. I needed this today.

    And I saw this and decided that Hunter S Thomcat has been sneaking computer access again. http://9gag.com/gag/a0LDY3Q?ref=mobile.s.cp

    Like

  50. Oh, you are so much fun. This made me cry laughing, and snort. It’s not pretty over here.

    Like

  51. WHAT? WHO DOESN’T THINK YOU’RE FUNNY? I’m pretty sure they just don’t understand….

    Like

  52. 53
    Anonymous

    This is also opening up a whole new dress question – “Black and silver or maroon/brown and gold?” With the third option “Do you need to get your eyes checked, it’s totally white and gold.”

    Like

  53. I used the how-old thing over the course of a night out. I looked 28 when I started. As I climbed into bed somewhat worse for wear they thought I was 81! I didn’t dare try it the next morning. I’m not sure the numbers go high enough.

    Like

  54. #jennyissoawesome

    Like

  55. I love taking horrible pictures. They’re so much more fun than the posed kinds. I’ve never had the guts to post online but that was before, I am way more likely to do that sort of thing now. I just couldn’t care less, and why bother really? I am who I am, warts and all😛

    Like

    Jil recently posted Thoughts I Have While Doing Yoga.

  56. Wow do I ever feel like a cowardly dumbass for only posting a picture of the back of my head now. You, your friend…..and also DragonTears are all my heros.

    Like

  57. I don’t think of myself as photogenic, but my son has taken that feeling to a whole new level. He absolutely DELIGHTS in taking terrible pictures of me. It’s gotten to the point where I intentionally give him the worst I can when he does it. There’s me with a bottle of something alcoholic, a mustache and an ushanka passed out on the couch (posing) that is his favorite, but there’s a lot of them in his phone. He takes so many that I don’t even think about it anymore – and you are right… it IS freeing! I pretty much don’t give a rat’s tiny hairy ass what the lens sees. It’s what the people who love me see that counts!

    Like

  58. 59
    Golfing Grannie

    Oh dear. It’s a pity I did that. It said 87!

    Like

  59. I’ve posted a lot of ugly pictures of myself on my blog. I have no shame and I overshare which is a terrible and hilarious combination. I laugh at myself, a lot.
    Andrew McCarthy? Lucky duck.

    Like

    susielindau recently posted NEWS From The Pike’s Peak Writer’s Conference.

  60. 61
    ᴀ ɴᴇᴡ ʏᴏʀᴋ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇ

    I enjoy disappointing folks as much as the next guy: I’ve never taken a selfie in my life. And I’m not likely going to start now.

    Would you like to tar-and-feather me now?

    Like

    ᴀ ɴᴇᴡ ʏᴏʀᴋ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇ recently posted Come Again….

  61. 62
    ocularnervosa

    I’d say you were brave for posting that photo but there aren’t any bees or burning orphans so……

    Like

  62. Excellent! I love making silly faces and odd poses in pics. Also, you have a very pretty smile (in the pics where you aren’t doing anything silly or odd).

    Like

    Sandy the Fearless Scribe recently posted My cell phone is an evil little prankster.

  63. 64
    Anonymous

    I love this so much. But then I did the selfie thing, and the “how old are you” thing, and now I’m a little worried that the people who tell my 42yo self that I don’t look like I am 42 really mean that I look much, much older than that… because that effing app thinks I’m 48 on a good day and 61 with my weird expression. And yet, I’m giggling at this whole thing. Don’t take life (and selfies) so seriously, right?

    Like

  64. You two are fresh air. Breathing in!!

    Like

    Burns the Fire recently posted I Am Stronger than Most Men.

  65. I’m getting new passport photos taken today and now I’m going to have to resist the urge to keep making stupid faces until they ask me to leave.

    Like

    Spoken Like A True Nut recently posted A murder of zebu..

  66. love your blogs omg I would have died to meet Andrew. loved mannequin

    Like

  67. Reblogged this on scrappie momma writes stuff and commented:

    I heart the Bloggess. love her book too xo fabulously funny blog as usual.

    Like

  68. Although the the selfie pic is phenominal, also dresses with pockets for the win! My favorite part is how the little air vents/reading lights on the airplane ceiling look genuinely shocked at the difference camera angles make.

    Like

  69. 70
    Christie1982

    Just when I thought it wasn’t possible to love you anymore, you played the Mannequin card!!!!

    Like

  70. Crazy Eyes are the way to go in all photos…

    Like

  71. I totally took a frightening selfie for you but then realized I’m a schmo and have no idea how to paste it into comments. So I offer this post on driver’s license tips instead: http://goo.gl/T9acVY

    Like

    wombatcentral recently posted Maybe I Just Don’t Get Fashion.

  72. I’m not savvy enough to post my bad selfie I just took.😦 But I did take it! And it’s terrible!🙂

    Like

  73. I love your self-deprecating humor! Hilarious.

    Like

    Cary Vaughn recently posted Your Cat Is Not Trying To Kill You.

  74. Andrew McCarthy was the first celebrity I ever met.I had just moved to New York City for school and went to see him in a play.I heard a lady talking about waiting at the stage door for him so I convinced my friend that we should do that too.when he came out, I gushed and carried on so much about how I loved him that he thought I was kidding and making fun of him.it was terribly mortifying and he gave me a nasty look as he signed his autograph. Good times.

    Like

  75. I love ridiculous selfies. And pretty selfies. And selfie stick selfies. And tripod with a clicker selfies. Okay. I just really love selfies. Here’s one of my recent faves: https://instagram.com/p/14A4snOPZO

    Like

    Quirky Chrissy recently posted Celebrate with Fajitas and ‘Ritas.

  76. When I was a preteen, I would push my chin downward and grimace like that and think “This is what I will look like when I’m old.” Dammit, I was exactly right.

    Like

  77. Those faces should be on business cards. I would buy what you’re selling.

    Like

  78. 79
    Christie1982

    When I didn’t think it was possible to love you any more than I already do, you played the Mannequin card!!!
    I’d have been a flailing idiot if I’d met him and I most likely would’ve called him Jonathan Switcher…:/

    Like

  79. Nobody can resist a proper deep curtsey.

    Like

    Psychobabble recently posted Don’t Tell My Kid Not To Cry.

  80. I was watching all my blogger peeps share photos from the summit. AddyB, Schmutzie, and Luvvie – all so fun. I wish I had been there to party too and attempt a deep curtsy. That’s impressive.

    And I’m BEYOND jealous you met Andrew McCarthy. I too love him in Mannequin. My first job was in a video store and a coworker of mine was in love with him and would watch Pretty in Pink every day and pause it, rewind, and play this one scene where you could kind of, sort of see the vein in his arm bulge out. And she’d be like “There it is! Did you see it??! The arm twitch. Ohmygawd, I love that.” That…was a bit much. So knowing me, I would’ve told him the whole story.

    Like

  81. 82
    roguehamster

    I heartily❤ that photo, also Dragon Tears’ pirate Elvis (as I myself am a roguish piraty hamster).

    You made Andrew McCarthy uncomfortable? Am impressed. Yay for the socially diverse (aka “nerds”)!

    Like

  82. It’s like you were born without any facial bones in the Basement Sisters pose, but OMG ANDREW MCCARTHY!!!!! I WANT TO BE PRETTY IN PINK!! For some reason I can’t remember, I tried to explain his awesomeness to my students, but they just gave me the confused doggy head tilt.

    Like

    kstewand4cats recently posted A Place to Rest Your Moisturized Nuts.

  83. I salaam you Jenny. Fiercely. I curtsy you, deeply. You give me reason to stay on the net. I read an article and am feeling that everything I’ve been believing is a lie. I don’t know what or who to believe anymore. But, I believe in you Jenny. I believe in you. Thank you for giving me a reason not to shun my computer completely. (Other than I need it for work. I’m such a nerd I am co-owner of a comic-con.)😀 I would totally ask you to come, but I know crowds freak you out. Which is totally cool, well..not really….ah hell. You know what I mean. I’m just going to go read a book now. Much safer.

    Like

  84. 85
    Anonymous

    So jealous you got to meet Andrew McCarthy; still handsome as ever.

    Has anyone ever told Maile she looks like Kate Goslin? If Kate were fun and not psychotic.

    Like

  85. Now THAT is how to do a red carpet. Well done. Special props to the dead body.

    Like

    HogsAteMySister recently posted Do You HEAR Me Dripping Adrenaline?.

  86. 87
    Cynthia Coffman

    …I am also not even human according to that stupid photo age bot. I think we should start a club. Yeah! Proud to confuse the robot overlords!

    Like

  87. Over Christmas, my sister and I took a selfie we have named “the old guys on the balcony from the Muppets”. It was hilariously terrible and went directly to Facebook. Why not have a laugh at yourself moment? Or in my case, photogenically, a lifetime!

    Like

  88. You mean our faces won’t freeze that way? Now, how am I gonna scare my kiddos?!

    Like

  89. I didn’t have any old gross selfies to post (because I burned them) and I don’t usually take them anyway – although it’s the only goddamn way I’m ever in a photo with my boys – so I took some especially to share with you. I’m not even sure how to put the photo up…

    /Users/Misha_PC/Desktop/selfie.png

    Like

    Michelle recently posted The Shutterbug Bug..

  90. Ah crap. #selfiedoublefail

    Like

  91. I actually did a snort giggle when I read your caption about your little sister hardly going out and living in the basement. Classic caption! You crack me up!

    Like

    Life, kids and a glass of red recently posted Bringing back acts of kindness – join us!.

  92. Love it and love you Jenny! When will your book tour dates be out?

    (WATCH THIS SPACE. Well, not this space, but the blog. You know what I mean.🙂 ~ Jenny)

    Like

  93. Love it. So real, so non-bullshitty, so humble, so funny.

    Like

  94. Red carpet gold right there lady!!! Friends with no filters are completely amazing to be silly around🙂

    Like

  95. Okay so uploading my pic before didn’t work so I wrote my own blog post about it. Inspired by you. And like you said it was bloody good fun!🙂
    nb ‘fugly’ in this context is FUNNY UGLY.

    Like

    Michelle recently posted Fugly Faces..

  96. This makes me wish I’d gone to Mom 2 this year. Hope to see you in 2016!

    Like

  97. Bwahahahahhaa! I love this!😀 I’m always making faces since I hate having my photo taken so this would be right up my alley.🙂 I don’t have any funny faces to post at present though. :3

    Like

  98. Love this. But you’re lucky you got 36 year old man. I got 80 year old man. I am a 41 year old woman. My friend blamed it on my mittens. Recently posted in “so apparently I’m 80?!” On my blog. FFS!

    Like

    The observstionalist recently posted Strange things and observations this week.

  99. So I’m reading your Post and I see the first picture and think “this isn’t so bad”, then I realized that was your GOOD picture….had to scroll down to see your BAD picture, then got very confused because all my attempts to take GOOD pictures end up looking like BAD pictures.

    Like

  100. I am known for making funny faces in all of the photos that people post or take of me. People are actually legitimately surprised when I am smiling in a photo. Like actually surprised.

    hahaha. Basically I think people take too many pictures, it makes me uncomfortable, I rarely feel like I look good in photos, and I’m going to keep making funny faces with you🙂

    Like

  101. My god, how much I loved this- anyone who posts goofy selfies publicly is a- someone who knows what’s funny and b- someone who has an awesome sense of humor in being able to put it out there. This was cackling-out-loud-with-intermittent-snorts funny to me.

    Like

  102. I fed a perfectly normal picture of me to the How Old robot and it said that I’m a 31 years old man. I am female and 24. I think I’d prefer not human.

    Like

    Gabriela (@cluelesspixie) recently posted literary listings: abysmal authorities (fiction).

  103. I laughed so much that my family came to check on me. Even my three year old who doesn’t speak English giggled. Totally saved…erm…RUINED….everything!
    You are the most beautiful, ugly picturetaking lady, Jenny!

    Like

  104. I don’t take pictures of myself, ever, and haven’t since I was a child. The mother of my best friend since I was a kid has this gigantic tree photo frame that she has put photos of everyone in for ever and my photo in it is a shot of my butt from when I was 14 because that’s the only photo I’d ever let her take. My ass represents, yo.

    Like

  105. BEST.POST.EVER. Died laughing.

    Like

  106. 108
    Anonymous

    You make my day, day after day after day. Thank you!

    Like

  107. I love this so much! I always feel like I look bad in photos, so for a few years now I’ve just been trying to look as bad as possible on purpose. My favorite pose is Sasquatch walking and looking slightly backward toward the camera.

    Like

  108. Did you ask Andrew what Hollywood is up to these days? Hollywood should be on where are they now, but it has to fabulous or I will be disappointed.

    Like

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