There is no wrong way to eat brownies. But there are definitely righter ways.

I’m fairly sure the entire world can be divided into two groups.  Those who like the crunchy edges of the brownies, or normal people who start eating brownies from the center even though their husbands yell at them for making a hole in the brownies.  Technically every brownie you take makes a hole in the brownies, Victor.  Victor disagrees.  Time for a survey.

**********

And now, our weekly wrap-up.  Buckle-up, Buttercup.

Fabulous graphic by @wedrawtweets

Fabulous graphic by @wedrawtweets

 

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:

Shit you should buy or steal because it’s awesome:  

  • Zombie Dice.  My sister brought this over last week and we played until everyone was dead.  I highly recommend.  (Not the “everyone dying” part.  The playing family games together part.)

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by the lovely Marysol James, author of 18 steamy, sexy, slinky contemporary romance books, including the Amazon best selling ‘Unseen Enemy’ and ‘Dangerous Curves’ series. Marysol’s stories are explicitly sensual (very!) and offer smart plots, a bit of humor and lots of character development, so her romance books appeal to readers who want emotional connection as well as sexuality. She also tackles tougher topics such as illness, alcoholism and abuse – but she believes in Happily Ever Afters and makes sure her couples always end up together, despite the odds.  You should check her out here.

188 replies. read them below or add one

  1. CORNER brownies most specifically. But yes, Edges 4 Lyfe. My aunt even bought me one of those Edge pans which I haven’t ever used because 1. I don’t make brownies often and 2. I hate washing things.

    Like

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  2. I don’t like crunchy brownies – those are obviously wrong. But I do like chewy brownies. So… kinda the edge but not really? The center brownies are best used to be put on top of ice-cream. And now I’m hungry.

    Like

  3. The edges rule. I eat them fast because I live with all boys and they have no problem devouring anything I bake without leaving me any. Bastards

    Like

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  4. 4
    ocularnervosa

    Sorry but I like living on the edge.

    Like

  5. 5
    Wildrider51

    I like the edges, but I like them chewy, not crunchy. But I like the middle, too. Hell, I like brownies. I wish I had some now.

    Like

  6. what about edges first and working your way in to the centre so you get the best, squidgyest ones last?
    That isn’t an option.
    Or maybe, eat them all at once so no-one else knows which ones you ate first. That could work, too.

    Like

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  7. Yes! I am now justified in eating from the center outwards. 😄

    Like

  8. You may be the perfect woman, Jenny Lawson…
    Or a mad genius.
    I’m not sure which.
    And I don’t care.

    Like

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  9. The edges are the way to go but especially the corner pieces because they are super crunchy.

    Like

  10. 10
    Magic Wanda

    The correct answer is to eat all the brownies as quickly as possible.

    Like

  11. I like the chewy edges best. My husband just said “stop talking about it and just make me some brownies!!”

    Like

  12. Every edge-eater should be paired with a center-eater. Then there is maximum happiness, and all the brownies are enjoyed to the fullest of their yummy delicious potential.

    Like

  13. My thing is to eat pretty much everything in a circular motion (crunchy exterior to soft smushy center) so that I end all meals on the best part. That wasn’t an option so I’m adding it here.

    Like

  14. The wrong way to eat brownies is to eat brownies. I may be slightly biased though, because I can’t eat chocolate. It tastes absolutely disgusting to me and causes an instant gag-reflex. Yes, I know, I’m weird.

    Like

  15. 15
    Anonymous

    The right way? With milk.

    Like

  16. I just eat whatever part of the brownie gets near me first! Also, Zombie Dice rocks! We mix it up with Big Bang Theory dice or Star Wars dice to make things really interesting.

    Like

  17. 17
    darrellg691

    They make this stuff called Brownie Brittle… it’s basically all crunchy edges. It’s hard to not eat the whole bag.

    Like

  18. It depends! If I’m having brownies by themselves I like crunch and edge, if I’m having them with ice cream I need soft and center. Both are equally valid and Victor needs to realize that brownies need to be eaten however the eatee desires. Silly Victor.

    Like

  19. If you cook them in a long pan that is narrow enough, every brownie is an edge brownie. The perfect pan of brownies!

    Like

  20. I have to disagree. Eating brownies by attempting to stuff them into your ear-holes is regarded as wrong and generally frowned upon.

    Like

  21. If you wanted a crunchy chocolate baked good, why didn’t you just make dry chocolate cookies? Chewy center is the way to go.

    Like

  22. without a doubt: start with the corners. and now my mouth is watering.

    Like

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  23. Love those curves and all those edges… all those perfect imperfections…

    Like

  24. You start with crunchy edges and then eat the delicious soft centre. Kind of like eating soft-boiled eggs though I admit that when eating eggs I don’t eat the shell (at least on purpose).

    Like

  25. I had a roommate in college who felt the same way, that a pan of brownies should be eaten from the center out. I learned this when she demonstrated on a pan of brownies my family had brought me when they visited. I admit to getting a little “crunchy around the edges” with her.

    Like

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  26. 26
    kokocooper1726

    Where is the ice cream in this scenario? Like a DQ hot fudge brownie delight.

    Like

  27. Cut all the brownies up and pile them on a plate. Then no one knows which ones you eat first (until of course all that’s left are the icky edges).

    Like

  28. Um…the order doesn’t really matter because the only right way to eat brownies is slathered with peanut butter and with a tall glass of ice cold milk. I am very disturbed it wasn’t an option

    Like

  29. As with everything, this can be solved with science. I’m going to need a few dozen trays of brownies and volunteers who want to eat lots of brownies…

    Like

  30. oh my gosh. I wish they just make packaged brownie edges. Is that even a thing?

    Like

  31. Start at one end of the pan and work your way to the other end in an orderly fashion.

    Whether I want an edge or a middle piece depends on the day. I like both.

    Like

  32. meh, brownies. A terrible thing to do with chocolate.

    Like

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  33. I say as fast as possible so you can have more before others get them. Right?! YES!
    Shameless plug because … brownies!!!! http://www.myorganizedchaos.net/2014/03/iced-caramel-brownies *sharing awesomesauce that is caramel sauce**

    Like

  34. Corners are for heathens. I demand soft brownie centers!

    Like

  35. Definitely edges followed by the rest of the pan because there is no way on earth I’m going to only eat four pieces of brownies. Unless the pan is just divided into four pieces.

    Like

  36. 36
    thatpenchick

    My ex liked the edges. That should have been the first red flag.

    Like

  37. You forgot my favorite way: squish the whole pan of brownies into one brownie while it’s still warm and it looks smaller, so that when your husband yells at you, you can say “well, TECHNICALLY, I only ate ONE brownie, Andrew!”

    Like

  38. Raises hand to volunteer for Techydad….

    Like

  39. Alton Brown has a way to make perfect brownies. You put them in for 15 min, take them out for 15 min and then cook as directed for the rest of the time. That way they’re gooey in the center for us normal people and crunchy on the outside for the weirdos.

    Like

  40. I like to have at least three at a time so variations in eating patters can be entertained😀

    Like

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  41. 41
    Jessica HZ

    Just don’t put frosting or nuts or other adulterations on them. I like the edges for ice cream and the soft chewy part for all other times.

    Like

  42. 42
    Rachel CrazyMum

    Personally, I just shovel it in as quickly as I can in the hope I can finish it before any of my children ask me for some 😏

    Like

  43. 1) http://www.bakersedge.com/

    2) The above pan makes edges that are kind of like centers. They’re not crunchy but chewy, soft, gorgeous. I am a center-brownie person (I will eat enough edge to get to the center, but not much more) but that pan makes edge brownies that I actually like.

    3) Make a 9×13 batch of brownies in an 8×8 pan. It takes like an hour to bake but you end up with brownies that are nearly cubes.

    4) The best part of box brownies might be the light membranous layer of chocolate on top, the paper-thin bit that dissolves perfectly and isn’t really brownie.

    Like

  44. 44
    shinearts26@yahoo.com

    Get a 13×9 inch pan. Prep a package of your favorite brownie mix and spread evenly. Prep a package of your favorite cookie mix, most people do chocolate chip but I do peanut butter cookie dough. Drop the cookie dough by teaspoon sized globs all over the raw brownie batter. Bake at 350 degrees using the brownie directions as a guide.
    Eat from the center to the edges.

    Like

  45. Friday night, friend’s birthday brownies (made from scratch by her awesome husband), and I was busy handing out inside pieces to the kids because I wanted those chewy edges ALL. TO. MY. SELF.
    Sooooooooooo good.

    It wasn’t a traditional way of handing out portions, so I’m with you there.

    Like

  46. I have asked for one of those corners-only brownie pans for like, 4 years now. Do I have one? No. My family (and Santa) hates me. CORNERS 4LYFE

    Like

  47. Chewy edges, not really crunchy ones, but like most things, I tend to save the best for last (assuming I don’t have to share). I will fight for the corner pieces, because twice as much edgy goodness.

    Like

  48. I like my brownies all squishy so I tend to overcook them.
    Also if you’re considering upping your brownie game then you should definitely make slutty brownies. A layer of cookie dough, Oreos and then topped with brownie mix – you can thank me later😉 xo

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  49. Make Brownies when entire family is gone. EAT as many as I can that night! Then hide the pan in the oven (no one else cooks) and sneak them when ever I can. Do NOT share them any under circumstances!

    Like

  50. Why is there no option for, “Eat one brownie in a dignified manner (edge piece, chewy first, then crunchy), cram another whole brownie in your mouth when nobody’s looking, and when they question you, say, ‘what?’ as coherently as possible and try not to spray crumbs because crumbs are precious?”

    Like

  51. You forgot my favorite option: Why bother baking them, when you can eat the batter straight out of the bowl, with a giant glass of cold milk!

    Like

  52. I cut off all the very edges (crusts?) first and throw them in the freezer to eat with ice cream and then all the remaining brownie in the pan is delicious center brownie.

    Like

  53. I just cut the edges off completely so all that is left is center brownies.

    Like

  54. Warm, with a molten center, topped with vanilla bean ice cream. Like they serve them at Jack Stack BBQ in KC. Fabulous!

    Like

  55. There needs to be an option for “Who cares? There are brownies in my house! Eat ’em all!!”

    Like

  56. I start with the edges to save the best for last.

    Like

  57. The best way is to eat the edges with a friend who likes the middle. You eat from the pan, with two forks and no arguing.

    Like

  58. None of the above. First you make the brownies. Then you make the cookie dough. Then you spread the cookie dough on top of the brownies. Then you add a little syrup. Then you eat, and who gives a crap if it’s an edge piece or a middle piece because, either way, it’s a brownie with frickin’ cookie dough on top of it.

    http://www.recipegirl.com/2011/06/02/chocolate-chip-cookie-dough-brownies/

    Like

  59. I eat the mushy parts first because I prefer the crunchy parts and save them for last!
    Thanks! Now I have to go bake!

    Like

  60. I had to vote for eating them in order. It bothers me if things are out of order, like one tile backwards or manhole cover turned so the line doesn’t match up. It has less to do with the brownies than the resting chaos of eating them willy nilly.

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  61. I’m torn. I like the soft brownies, but the edges are easier to hold.

    Like

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  62. I like the edges, so I’m a good person to invite over for brownies. We usually just leave a knife in the pan out on the counter and cut a little chunk off every time we walk by. I really should be thinking about going to the gym but brownies sound so much lovelier.

    Like

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  63. Yeah, I just cut off the edges and throw them away so there’s no argument. Edges are nasty. Who wants crunchy brownies?

    Like

  64. I’m in the “eat them row by row, in an orderly fashion,” camp. However, I think whoever baked the damn things gets to choose how they’re cut up. If I baked a pan of brownies only to have someone dig the gooey center out of the pan, the said pan would become a weapon.

    Don’t hate me. I have compulsive tendencies.

    Like

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  65. Why would I want chewy brownie edges? The edges are the price you pay for the GOOD parts of the brownie.

    Like

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  66. The improper way to eat brownies is with your butthole. Eat with your mouth. I shouldn’t have to tell you this.

    Like

  67. Also, I trick people into eating the edges so I can eat the middles without getting in trouble with people who don’t understand that edges aren’t worth eating. “Oh, here, I’m so generous. Let me give you this edge brownie. Aren’t I the nicest?!” Bam, center piece access granted!

    Like

  68. My husband and I just had an argument about edges vs. centers of brownies. (Um,hello? , centers.)
    We love Zombie Dice and play it all the time.

    Like

  69. I am known to burn the shit out of the whole pan so it doesn’t matter for my brownies since they’re all trashed anyway. But for the more talented brownie makers, I like the edge pieces better.🙂

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  70. i like the edges. i like them chewy bordering on crunchy. the corners are the absolute best. i don’t have brownies and now i wish i did.

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  71. Honestly have you people never heard of save the best for last?

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  72. Comment #1 is bang on. Corners and Edge Pans for life. (I use mine.)

    Like

  73. Soft Center, slightly under cooked. On NPR they quoted a scientific writer (yest.) who said, “Diets Don’t Work.” That is a total trigger for me to go eat. Srsly. Because, why diet if it doesn’t work? Why would a well educated Nurse Practitioner tell me to loose a few pounds, if it is a recipe for failure? And they think I’m crazy. BTW, thank you for being you and giving me permission to be a teensy bit more ok with myself, a nutcase.

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  74. Additional brownie eating option: Make friends with someone who likes the opposite brownie part. Consume pan together, giving her the crunchy edges and yourself the soft centers. Everyone wins!

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  75. lmao… When I first read this, I was thinking you were talking about individual brownies. I was all, “How do you eat the center first on a brownie? With a spoon??” So I voted to eat the edges first. lol

    But then I realized you meant a PAN OF BROWNIES. Ah, NOW it makes sense!😀 So I went back and corrected my vote to eat the center ones first. I hate edge pieces (I also don’t like the edge pieces of cakes because they have too much frosting for me. lol!!!)

    Like

  76. I’m with Stacy. You neglected to give us an option for eating the batter. I purposely make brownies with egg beaters so I can safely eat the batter raw. But for baked brownies, I like them soft. So it’s always a delicate balance between getting my fill of delicious brownie batter and eating too much resulting in thin overcooked brownies.

    Like

  77. Make brownies as specified on the box. Then add a ton of chocolate syrup, just squeeze that shit in. Pour and bake. Sprinkle with sanding sugar, Eat from center with fork, whole pan should be pretty soft.

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  78. Centre Girl. When serving, give everyone else the edge bits.

    Like

  79. the proper brownie eating order depends on how quickly the brownies will be eaten. if they will be sitting for any length of time, you must save the middle ones for last, because they will dry out more slowly. of course, you may also argue that there is no excuse for letting brownies sit around long enough to dry out…

    Like

  80. Brownies bought straight from the bakery- no pan, no crispy edges, no clean up…Done!

    Like

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  81. Are you spying on my husband and me because you sure seem to know about our brownie habits…or…if this was really about you & Victor and you don’t have secret recording devices in my house…then we should definitely become brownie friends,

    Like

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  82. Underbaked and served with ice cream and chocolate sauce. I buy the plastic bottle, but I am still convinced that the stuff in the little can tastes better. If I can’t have them with ice cream, then I want the chewy edge part… but not crunchy. Also, I really like them with frosting. But not cream cheese frosting… that’s not right. Chocolate glaze or fluffy vanilla. If they are going to be fully baked, they can have nuts, but only if they are pecans… and you have to say it right or I’ll kick you right in the shins. It’s pronounced Pee-can (Haha jerk I waited on at the Abilene Country Club when I was 16. PEE-can… just like my grandpa used because he was too old/decrepit/lazy to pee in the bathroom downstairs at night. Thank Dog he switched to mason jars, because those rusty cans would leak… GROSS)… NOT peh-Cahn… because what are you? A stupid?

    Like

  83. I start at the top and work my way down the pan, but I make sure to give everyone else a brownie first. That way, when I get to my turn, I’m in the middle with the best brownies and I’ve been perceived as selfless. Win-win.

    Like

  84. Once again, Victor shows he doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

    Like

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  85. 86
    Quijana Byrd

    I bake my brownies in muffin liners. That way every piece is a perfect piece. Just enough edge (with NO crunch) just enough gooey center. Undercook them and the warm pudding is already in a cup. Overcook them and they are still good when served under enough ice cream. It cuts down on fighting over portions as well, as they are easily divided. I use espresso instead of water, and add an extra cup of chocolate chunks, mixed milk, semisweet, and dark chocolate. Children think my brownies taste strange, because they are not overly sweet. Not the kid’s fault. I cook the brownies that my uterus demands.

    Like

  86. 87
    fushigifox

    you left out an option I prefer. I cut the brownies and give the edges to others and the middle is left only for me to enjoy🙂

    Like

  87. I make my brownies in cupcake liners. Each portion is perfect, edges, but with no crunch, but plenty of soft center as well. Underbake them and the goo is contained within a cup, overbake them and they are still delicious under ice cream or in milk. I use espresso instead of water and by adding a full cup of mixed (milk, semisweet, and dark) chocolate chunks. They are the brownies my uterus demands, and are not for the casual brownie consumer.

    Like

  88. Or you could do like someone I know– take a bit from the corner, a bit from the side, and a bit from the centre, leaving little holes EVERYWHERE. I don’t think Victor would go for that.

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  89. I eat the crunchy edges, and the broken cookies, and I use the chipped mug because I am a martyr.

    Like

  90. No! You ALWAYS start with the corners (because they have the most edge to them), then the edges, then the middles.😀

    Like

  91. 92
    Christina

    Honestly, I don’t care right now, just give me a damn brownie already!!

    It’s been years since I’ve eaten a proper brownie, they don’t really exist in Japan and ovens aren’t really a thing here either so I can’t even make my own.😦

    Like

  92. So maybe this shows the extent of my OCD, because I haven’t seen anyone else do this… I put a center brownie on top of a corner brownie, and eat them in such a way that I get ooey-gooey center along with crunchy edge in each bite. This involves a little fork artistry, but the corner bite of the corner brownie has to much crunchiness for one bite, so it gets transferred to the corner that has no crunchiness… Yeah, it definitely shows the extent of my OCD.🙂

    Like

  93. Honestly, I don’t care right now, just give me a damn brownie already!!!

    I haven’t had a proper brownie in years, they basically don’t exist in Japan. Ovens aren’t really a thing here either so I can’t even make my own.😦

    Like

  94. I cut brownies into narrow rectangles so that they all have a crunchy end and a squishy end, for delicious, delicious brownie harmony. And now I have to go to the store because I need hot fresh brownies.

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  95. If you would just begin eating the brownies while still warm from the oven, you don’t need to worry about crunchiness. It’s just common sense.

    Like

  96. The only wrong way to eat brownies is to eat them without enjoying them. It depends on recipe what part I prefer, but usually it’s the edges, as I tend to bake them very moist. So if you eat the edges first, you always have slightly crunchy brownies on the edge as they dry with time, and softer ones in the middle ( yes, I live in a household where a pan of brownies might last over a week)

    Like

  97. I like the edge. I like the chewy. I like eating a brownie and having a little bit stuck on your teeth and you walk around for a while and nobody tells you how gross it looks because they want to be polite.

    Like

  98. This post aligns the stars, confirming the need to make brownies this week. My excuse is that there is a banana and some blueberries that need another life melded with chocolate.My brownies probably aren’t normal.

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  99. 100
    pacalaga

    Brownie batter with a spoon. Nevermind the cooking.

    Like

  100. Sorry Jenny, but the edges are just better. And to add fuel to the fire, I also prefer cakey brownies. Can we still be friends?

    Like

  101. Eat the edges first because that leaves the best part for last. That way there’s no guilt and nobody can yell at you, and the memory of the experience is dominated by the yummiest last bites.

    My Mom used to make whàt she called “brownie pudding”, which was like super-soft brownies without the crunchy edges, magically floating on top of its own chocolate lava sauce. There are no down sides to brownie pudding.

    Also, there are “special brownies” but I don’t know much about them.

    Like

  102. Oh, and the wrong way to eat brownies is to not have brownies.

    Like

  103. Brownie edges rule. If they didn’t, would this exist? I think not.

    Also, I do not buy the Brownie Brittle someone else mentioned. Because I would eat the whole bag in one sitting.

    Like

  104. Victor is right, because he always is. Also, if one person is practicing delayed gratification by eating edges first, and then inner ones, and the other person just grabs all the inner ones for HERSELF, then the virtuous soul might leave all reason behind and just SNAP and Ms Greedy Can’t Wait might find that the world of The Jungle is not nearly as fun as she thought it would be. He might start leaving the seat up. At night. And squeezing the toothpaste from the middle. With the cap left off on purpose. And grabbing the good slices of bread from the middle of the loaf, leaving you nothing but the stale crummy old heels.
    In fact, if you weren’t careful, he might just buy a dozen loaves of bread and assemble one loaf composed of nothing BUT heels, just to teach SOMEONE a lesson.

    Like

  105. I voted for the first three because brownies…

    Like

  106. My husband showed me this online. Why!?!? Who wants an all edge pan!? Hate the edge pieces

    Like

  107. I voted for center, because reasons. I would also have voted for pitching if walnuts are added, because disgusting.

    Like

  108. The hubkins & I both developed the stomach flu this weekend. It’s the first time in our relationship that we’ve been sick at the same time. We are heatedly arguing about who is more seriously ill. I wish I could put up a poll. Maybe I will. And I’ll just allow myself to vote. Me and my diarrhea.

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  109. Also, now I want brownies. Coated in Pepto.

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  110. 111
    SqualorHouseGail

    For me, it’s not so much edges vs. center as it is degree of doneness. I prefer my brownies medium-rare (with walnuts please)!

    Like

  111. Why even cook them? Eat the batter raw. That’s actually the best way. and the easiest.

    Like

  112. You can’t poke a hole in the middle of teh brownies…that’s just rude….eat the brownies on the row one in from the edge….no crusty edges, no hole in the middle. Everyone’s a winner!

    Like

  113. Just don’t start on the second pain of brownies before the first one is finished. That way madness lies.

    Like

  114. *pan
    Pan of brownies. Curse you, Autocorrect!

    Like

  115. Who knew that brownie eating order preferences varied so wildly!? I’ve only ever known the pan to be eaten in order, unless all cut and served on a platter. So many options to contemplate!

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  116. Weve had this fight a lot at my house. So much so that one 8×8 pan gets flipped into the cutting board, divided into 4 (family of), and each person takes their quarter to eat how and when they please. Want it all now? Fine, here’s your lot. then you can trade edges for middles, you can hoard your favourite bits, etc.
    but then I also have to get out the kitchen scale frequently, too, to end ‘she got more than me!’ fights. Sigh.

    Like

  117. Could be that Victor, like me, has a mild case of OCD. You just can’t start in the middle. It’s just wrong!
    Do you start in the middle with the birthday cake as well?

    Like

  118. 119
    Cassondra

    You’ve missed a whole category here. I always start with the CORNERS, and yes that’s different from the edges. Its better! My husband eats from the center. That’s why we’re perfect together.

    Like

  119. I’ve never figured out how to eat brownies from the center. So I eat all around the edges and save the center for last. Yes, I am able to restrain myself and delay gratification. I think this means something’s wrong with me.

    Like

  120. Holy crap…You mean you can eat the whole brownie? I am a crunchy-crust seeker and will not even consider the remaining gooey middle leftovers! I even begin this process sooner and consume half of the uncooked batter!

    Like

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  121. Everything should be baked in that funky ass, zig-zag brownie pan, right?

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  122. You get this pan, and then nibble the edges off first until you have only center brownie left. Also: only takes like, half the time to cook the brownies so you get brownies faster. http://www.pamperedchef.co.uk/images/product/resized/1544_product.jpg

    Like

  123. My personal preference for brownies… Raspberry Truffle Brownies (http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/raspberry-truffle-brownies-5435) — they contain Chambord (can’t go wrong there, right?). Topped with ice cream and chocolate sauce. So very decadent. So very good.
    drool

    Like

  124. I actually think cutting a brownie big enough to get the edge and center in it is the most optimal brownie choice – you get the yummy gooey delicious center AND the badass crunchy bits that make you go “yum.” Though I might just be eating brownies wrong, who knows?

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  125. How are we all not talking about that cat?

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  126. OR….don’t even bake the brownies because you ate all the batter before they even made it into the oven

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  127. 128
    Jaclyn C.

    Two options:
    (1) Find someone who likes the edges, give them the first piece, and then you can eat the center with abandon.
    (2) Cut all the brownies into squares, put them on a plate, then eat what you want AND look like a freaking domestic goddess.

    Like

  128. Youre parenting wrong. Give the nasty edge to the child of your loins and eat the middle yourself. ‘Here, precious child, you can have THE VERY FIRST PIECE, because you are the LIGHT OF MY LIFE’

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  129. What Margomusing said: save the best for last. I have an irrational trust in the world not ending, though, so maybe it’s best not to listen to me.
    Though to be fair, Jim generally gets to the brownies before they even cool, so he takes care of the edges for me, while maintaining the top-down order of the pan. He does, however, cut unruly chunks out of brownie rows and seems to prefer to eat brownies like a Fibonacci sequence, as though taking slivers at a time somehow makes him more virtuous. Then I have to eat a long, thin strip of brownie to even out the row. So I guess I don’t know what I’m complaining about. For the record, I’m an absolute slob, so I can’t say why brownie order is so important to me.

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    Maya recently posted Evil Haunted Dolls Made Me Do It.

  130. I really want brownies now😦

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  131. 132
    pepethefreak

    I bought an ALL EDGES brownie pan. It’s how it’s done!

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  132. I’m finding as I get older I like chocolate less and less, so I don’t eat brownies very often any more. (I know. What is wrong with me?!? I should seek help immediately!) That being said, the same can apply to any bar cookie. I like the edges for a practical reason — having a hard edge to hang onto lessens the chance that the whole damn thing will fall apart and wind up all over my shirt.

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  133. This post needs to come a locator for the closest brownies available. I’m all about living on the edge [corners are the bestest] and now I have to leave work to go home and bake brownies.

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  134. Actually the correct way to eat a brownie is like so:

    Step 1: Eat any edges that may be attached to your brownie. If you have a middle piece, congratulations, you’re already halfway to glory.

    Step 2: Pull off the slightly crunchier top layer of the brownie (or scrape it off with your teeth like a wild animal). Eat the top layer.

    Step 3: Revel in the awesomeness that is having a brownie that is only the soft squidgey part, without any unpleasant edges or tops to interfere.

    Step 4: Devour that squidgey section like a rabid wolverine that only likes the squidgey sections of brownies.

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  135. My husband eats the edges of the brownies, I eat the center part. So when I make a pan of brownies, he always cuts away the edges and leaves the rest for me. It’s a match made in heaven. Oh, and always put powdered sugar, never granulated, on the bottom of the brownies. Yum.

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  136. Cut off corners, combine in bowl with smashed Oreos, heavy cream and a fairly small egg. Roll into balls, cover in chocolate ganache – now you have brownie cake pops AND beautiful fudgy center brownies. (Because cakey brownies are SATAN.)

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    gallinaround recently posted Oops, I Did It Again.

  137. I’m stuck on the Sally Ride thing. 100 tampons for a week in space, but it doesn’t mention whether she actually had her period while she was up there. Or did NASA think that freeing her from the Earth’s gravity would somehow unleash the Red Sea in space, regardless of where she was in her cycle?

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  138. I like chewy edges and slightly underdone gooey centres. I keep eying the edge pans but never get around to buying one ’cause I rarely make brownies. But if I had one of thoe pans I would likely feel obligated to make brownies more often but then I would eat them more often or more of them more often and that would likely not be good for me.

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  139. Eat the center first. Save the crunchy edges for last, because they are the best!

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  140. I dig Undercooked with crunchy corners!!

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  141. This is pointless arguing. a 9 x 9 pan of brownies is a single serving.

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  142. You forgot Option #7: Give all the edges to the kids and keep the middle goodness for yourself:)

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  143. You missed an entire group here, eat the soft squishy part first so you can savor the crunchy crunchy goodness of the crisp edges last. Save the best for last!

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  144. Well todays after-work quest involves coffee creamer, discount teacups, succulents, and now apparently a brownie mix.

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  145. I actually don’t like brownies. Or celery. But, the family eats them from one end of the pan to the other, just to keep them from drying out.

    Worst dessert ever, the ice cream brownie sundae. What a way to ruin good ice cream, throwing a brownie in there. Blargh.

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  146. I’ve been known to cut nuns for the edge pieces of a brownie.

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    terib19 recently posted Warning: Emotional Train-wreck Ahead.

  147. Brownie batter. Obvs. I dominated maid of honor-hood by catering the bachelorette dealie from Kitsch’n on Roscoe primarily because of their Chocolate Brownie Batter, which they agreed to eat instead of my homemade version only because it is egg-free. They said raw eggs cause ‘salmonella’ and ‘explosive diarrhea’ and that the bride and bridesmaids were all ‘required’ to be front and center for the wedding ceremony. I said that they’re not thinking far enough out of the box and that it might be more exciting to switch things up with body doubles for those maids currently occupying the loo. I was told they were too ‘expensive’ and that I was ‘ridiculous’ or ‘high’.
    Whatves, more brownie batter for me.

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  148. If I know I won’t have to share the pan with someone who likes edges (weirdos) then I cut around the inside edge and throw it away so every piece is a middle piece.

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  149. “Zombie Dice” is an (and I’m quoting here) “Action packed dice game”? Do you have to dodge actual zombies while playing? Do you throw the dice … at each other? I usually play dice games when I’m trying to AVOID a lot of action and stuff. But hey – zombies.

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  150. I knew someone who baked brownies in an english muffin tin. Perfect chewy texture on the outside and just the right amount of gooeyness on the inside.
    Why didn’t Sally Ride buy her own tampons? I would have died a thousand embarassing deaths if my boss bought me tampons.
    meow meow meow

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  151. Team crunchy edge here. I eat the edges and save the middle for last. Am I redeemed?

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    Kristine @ MumRevised recently posted Dirty Driving.

  152. Man. Did not know you’d be promoting anarchy today:). Edges first! And then the middle. At least for brownies. Because it is OMELETTES you eat from the center out.

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    candidkay recently posted Another day, another sayonara to my ego.

  153. 154
    That kid

    I just eat the whole thing. Including the pan. Everything.

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  154. What? I can eat the center brownies first? Why have I never thought of this. Life changing.

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  155. 156
    DarthMama

    The closest I have come to divorcing my husband (or chopping him into little pieces) was over brownies — first he MEASURES them and cuts them into precise squares. “Portion control” and “brownies” do not belong together! THEN he removes all 4 squares from the very middle. So. Not. Right. I had to finish the rest of the pan just to spite him.

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  156. 157
    Brownie queen

    Best way – make a double batch of batter – put down half in the pan, layer either York peppermint patties OR Reese’s peanut butter cups. Cover with remaining batter and underbake by about 5 minutes…eat warm out of the pan. P.S. – my dog named Brownie, died yesterday…so sad

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  157. The edges exist solely to rescue you from the horrible brownie withdrawl you begin to go through when the yummy, squishy, delicious middle pieces are gone and you’re feel too lazy to make another batch. Duh.

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  158. Obviously you take a big enough piece that has both the crunchy edge and the gooey center. Best of both worlds.

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  159. The pans that make every brownie an edge brownie make NO SENSE TO ME.

    Also, I like to make double-batches of brownies in a 9×13 pan and then gift all the edge brownies to neighbors. So long as you assemble them nicely on a paper plate, you can pretend they’ll NEVER NOTICE.

    I’ve been close to cutting just the outside 1/2″ of brownie off of the pan and throwing them away just so it can be “whole pan of centers”

    And I was closely torn with “add walnuts and throw the whole pan away” I can’t comfortably say yes to brownies with walnuts on them.

    I’m so glad that there are so many others who agree that the outsides suck😉

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  160. 161
    theartistt

    Trick question! I always eat the soft part first so I can savor the crunchy part last. I always take the corner pieces because I am the only one who cooks brownies. Them’s the rules!

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  161. So, how many should NASA have shipped?
    All I know about tampons I learned in college when I lived in a house with six women. Since I had the only car, I always got elected for the midnight tampons/Midol/chips/salsa run. The only rule I learned was buy the biggest box, and don’t get supers.

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  162. I don’t think it really matters on how to enjoy a brownie. They all poop out looking the same either way. Will I get hate mails for this?

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    deliriouspancake recently posted I worry for the future generations.

  163. I can’t decide. Sometimes I like the crunchy bits and sometimes I’m all about the mushy ones. I’m fickle. That’s what I’ve learned.

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  164. 165
    Melanie P

    I like to start at the edge, but only when I am serving the brownies to others first, since that is the polite way to share brownies– the middle ones are for me, cuz I made them and i served them–it’s a win win, really– my family still has no idea how good the middle brownies are!

    Like

  165. I’ve loved everyone of your blog posts I’ve ever read. EXCEPT this one!!! You suck!!! While I still want to go shopping with you and buy huge metal animals just to piss off my neighbors, I you to be told that tempting people like me with the thought of brownies (crunchy, chewy, gooey or otherwise for that matter) is just criminal!!! So….. F U!!! (But thanks…… really). http://Www.Duanescottblog.Wordpress.Com

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  166. I like them gooey in the middle… crunchy on the outside.. the best of all worlds.

    Like

    Michele recently posted Victims of Society.

  167. 168
    Mastiffcat

    Blown-mind cat made me laugh so hard I choked. Literally. Blown- mind cat made me laugh out loud hours later just thinking about it. I want blown-mind cat with me at all times.

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  168. 169
    @shthisisme

    Sally should have just taken the 100 tampons. They’re expensive!

    When I go to the store today I’m hoping the shelves aren’t bereft of brownie mixes because someone caused a run on them by blogging about brownies and their warm gooey centers.

    Like

  169. The only wrong way to eat brownies is to stop before they’re all gone.

    Like

    A Crock of Schmidt recently posted Forgiven For Distraction.

  170. I love brownies so much, it almost doesn’t matter how I attack them. Although I have to say, I love to bite those crunchy edges to begin… and then attack those soft insides. Yum. Where’s that recipe book? Need some now…

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    Musings, Rants & Scribbles recently posted How I Barely Survived IKEA.

  171. (I have no particular opinion on brownies, sorry). More importantly, I have to have the ‘Ladylike as Fuck’ t-shirt. But i’m in South Africa and can barely afford the shirt itself, never mind the postage to get it here (if it could even be arranged). Woe is me

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  172. 172 comments about brownies! Hella good way to start my day.
    In a world of earthquakes, transgender pronoun debates, Duggars, and humans behaving badly videos…its a relief to see that many still understand the magical healing power of CHOCOLATE. Corner, edge or lavaesque middle, life is short, get your crumbs on.

    Like

  173. That Sally Ride link is AH-MAZING. I snorted my tea. My coworkers love working with me, is what I’m saying.

    Like

    Alice recently posted Kitchen upgrade before & afters!.

  174. I HAVE to like them a bit crunchy and thin….since I eat most of my brownies before they ever make it into the pan. lol

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  175. I honestly think most people choose your answer because they want you to like them. I’m not falling for it. If I want you to like me, you will like me just the way I am without trying to change me, or without me trying to change for you.

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  176. No, no, no, people. You cut all the hard edges off and put the long sections of crispy brownies into a separate bowl for your daddy. This is how it works. This is how my momma always made ’em, and it’s how I make ’em, too!

    Then you cut the remainder into perfectly-proportioned 1.5″ squares and top them with powdered sugar.

    Like

  177. 178
    Danielle Wolf

    I believe those brownie pans with extra dividers that make every brownie an edge piece are sacrilegious. I want to design a pan that makes every brownie a center brownie. Maybe some kind of brownie sphere.

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  178. Some days it feels like you can read my mind. Can you? Because I feel the exact way you do and have had that argument. In fact, years ago I came up with a solution that doesn’t leave a hole in the middle of the pan and I’m going to share it with you.
    Step 1- Using a butter knife, begin cutting at 1/2 inch from sides and follow the entire perimeter of the pan until you reach your starting point.
    Step 2- Give the outer part to the person who likes the crispy parts and walk away with the good part.
    Step 3 (optional)- Divide the good part into smaller chunks of goodness, and wrap the uneaten ones in plastic wrap so that air cannot dry them out. Refrigerate. Later on, unwrap and reheat briefly in the microwave for that fresh out of the oven warmth.
    You’re welcome.
    P.S. I mean BRIEFLY! Because burning brownies is a crime, or should be.

    Like

  179. If one of you likes the edges more and one likes the center then you have a perfect relationship.🙂 You can also cut them all, take them out of the pan, put them in a container, then freely eat whichever part you prefer without anyone noticing.

    Like

  180. You forgot one brownie option. “What? You are supposed to cook brownies?” Cause that’s really what I would have voted for. Although brownies are good anywhere from batter to just barely done.

    The best I’ve ever had were accidental broiled brownies. If you’ve never had them (and why would you?), you should make them. By broiling them you get the top all cooked and brownie looking but the underneath is just pure yummy brownie goo. Best of both worlds. And if you like to frost your brownies and take them to parties, it’s a surprise for all to get a plate of thin brownie in between a layer of chocolate frosting and a layer of warm brownie goo. I’ve never made them again just in case they aren’t as good as I remember…

    Like

  181. 183
    Michelle

    Sorry but I like living on the edge. but I like this http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00MTEEUZQ

    Like

  182. The solution would be to eat at least half the pan (as I am wont to do), so that a) you get ooey gooey middle parts and 2) you get the chewy edges (should be chewy, not crunch or the center will not be sufficiently gooey) and 3) there is no hole (for Victor)

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  183. My husband loves the edges – the crunchier the better shudder – and I love the middle and this is the reason our marriage works. nods

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  184. Well, late to the party here, but what you can do is cut all the brownies into squares and then put them all in a nice tin and then you can pick and choose to your heart’s content.

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  185. 187
    Betty Crocker

    There is ONE wrong way to eat brownies. When your sister bakes them and leaves for cheer practice, and her brother cuts out and consumes the entire center while she’s gone. That made for some hormonal teenage girl screaming. I still resent it 25 years later lol. I’ve also threatened to send him a “brownie frame” for his birthday like the one he left in the pan.

    Like

  186. Bravo!

    PSSSS CHeck out this link, you gotta read it and…tell your readers!

    http://thebloggess.com/2015/06/this-is-my-house/

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