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Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.
Melany’s GUYdlines : All snark, all true: Nine lives worth of short stories, advice & raw judgement on friendships, relationships & everything in between.
And by that I mean vagina: Because life’s not a cabaret, it’s a three ring circus.
Flunking Family: I wanted a perfect life, but crappy little things screwed it up… so now I have a wicked sense of humor.
Advice I Needed Yesterday:“I moved to Munich. Now what?”
Blog Con Queso: Cheese, robots, margarita jello shots. The essentials.
Hyperbole and a Half Unfortunate Situations, Flawed Coping Mechanisms, Mayhem and Other Things That Happened.
David Thorne: So fucking awesome it makes me hurt.
candidkay: Journalist, single mother of two. Taking the journey, bumps and all . . . you will laugh or cry in the passenger seat. Promise.
Sandrandan Jewelry: Eccentrically gorgeous jewelry; we may become your new addiction!
Lori Duff Writes: “Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, don’t read our Mom’s blog. It just encourages her.” ~ Lori’s kids
Linda’s Best Recipes: Fabulous & easy recipes for humans, plus one for Puppy Meatloaf. Not made OF puppies; it’s FOR puppies! You guys!
Tinplate Studios: Your one stop shop for all your Cabinet of Curiosity needs. Sideshow Oddities, Travesties in Teacups, Steampunk Rayguns, Disturbing Timepieces and more.
Josh Across the Universe: Life is a journey and I lost the map. But it’s okay, I have a fork.
Farm Girl: Contains dogs, crushing insecurities and accidental enlightenment. But mostly dogs.
Earful: I talk a lot. I’m sorry. For everything.
The News Flasher: Exposing the news with humor. Now with more flashiness!
Insomnia Girl: and the Very Important Thoughts keeping her awake.
Life With Angie: “We’re Not Crazy, We’re Just a Little Insane.”
Vibrator Vixen: Oh my, you’ve come to the right place. Probably NSFW.
Daddy 3.0: A Comedy of Errors: “Nick is a mess. The dog house is too good for him. 2017 IAN Winner-Comedy.”
Susie Lindau’s Wild Ride: Colorado misadventure meets inspiration through the face-planting smackdowns of life.
Cadaver Dog: Who knew dogs tracking zombies could give me the feels so much?
Imperfect: An anthology about mistakes for middle schoolers.
Oh I so have to do this!!! These are fantastic.
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Ann St. Vincent recently posted Why would I prolong the inevitable?.
I wish I could like your posts. That last one was very Donnie Darko; I approve.
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You could turn those into greeting cards and retire.
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Daddy Scratches recently posted Real-estate shaming: The newest trend in pre-adolescent douchebaggery.
The Napoleon one really slayed me.
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Marianne recently posted 2015 was no 1994.
And by ‘Like’ I mean click a button – I already like all of your posts. And sometimes love them.
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Your words are our catharsis. Bless!
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Burns the Fire recently posted Sister Blogs.
Hahaha! I am laughing and peeing. It’s because babies
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OH MY GAWD!!!! Now I have a way to print those dreaded family portraits and NOT hate them! Seriously, this is glorious. All photographers should offer this option. “Which cat should your mother-in-law be?” “The one with resting bitch face, obviously.” “How about your brother?” “Do you have a cat that is drunk and out of work?” Seriously. A killing! These folks would make a killing!
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Helleanor Rigby recently posted I Vomited At Least Twice While Typing This.
i need one punch probation on a mug. yesterday.
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That last one…oh god…that last one…eyes following me everywhere…
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That last one. I can’t stop looking at it. And it’s looking right back at me. At least it’s not bedtime….
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Oh my gosh! I MUST do this! Thanks for giving me something else to distract me from cleaning the house! 🙂
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Where I live (also the South but not Texas) it’s more typical to say “Bless your little heart” in a patronizing way. The additon of “little” gives it an extra zing. Just thought I’d share that so the next time you can write or say the phrase as, “Bless your stupid little heart”. It just sounds better. In my opinion…
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I don’t listen to stupid people either.
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Kristine @ MumRevised recently posted Dirty Driving.
Wow…just downloaded it. Another way to waste time at work! My boss would like a work with you by the way.
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that last one got me to laugh out loud. at work. but i’m by myself today.
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“I will shit on everything you love.” Can’t stop laughing.
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I so NEED this! I know exactly who I’d mess with. insert evil laugh here
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My new favorite thing! You have used up all of my “can’t even”s for today.
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Cary Vaughn recently posted Father’s Day Cards for the Unexpected Dad.
OMG! I love you! That whole series is pretty much my day at work.
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Ah, what does Victor know? Keep the (hilarious!) cat pictures coming!
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kdcol recently posted Happy passporting!.
And the moral of the story is that nothing good is available for Windows phone. 😐
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Rachel recently posted Not The Babies!!!.
This might be just the cure for my kids’ “new kitten” desires.
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A Crock of Schmidt recently posted Forgiven For Distraction.
Do a Victor cat head so maybe then he will appreciate HOW HYSTERICAL THIS IS, VICTOR !!!!!!
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You have taken what was evolving into a craptastic into something wonderful!
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“What sort of fuckery is this” has just become my new go-to when my kid does something truly knuckle-headed. Thank you.
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I think I am going to have nightmares about giant headed cats.
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itzybellababy recently posted Green Quotes 6-2-15.
Even if the last one is creepy…this still made Tuesday be less of a dick.
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Michelle recently posted Those Things That Cover Your Feet.
Victor is just jealous that he didn’t use the cat app FIRST! I hope you can get past his jealousy of your greatness!
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It’s a great way to vent all your anger and not really hurt anybody….yet.
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Once again, your brilliance has reduced me to silently giggling at a most inappropriate time. You rock my world Miss Jenny, and I can’t thank you enough.
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The most difficult decision I will make today is which one of these will be my new avatar. It’s fucking hard!
It won’t be the last one LOL that looks like one of the aliens from Falling Skies. Then again, maybe I shouldn’t discount it so soon. Hmmmmmm
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this is awesome – thanks for sharing!!
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Ever since I was a kid, that Napolean joke has been my favorite. I’m going to be 50 years old in a few days, and I still say sleevies instead of sleeves.
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No words. Just awe and laughter. Lots and lots of laughter.
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The last one looks 1/3 Bloggess, 1/3 cat, and 1/3 chihuahua. Which is just wrong. Especially if you pronounce the last one chy-hoo-a-hoo-a.
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Janet Coburn recently posted Cats, etc.: Stupid Cat Tricks.
I’m so happy my friend Mari introduced your website to me. You are so, so freaking funny! Thank for sharing your humor, your humanity and your wonderful family with us. Can’t wait to read your next book! Much success and happiness to you and those you love.
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Thank you – the rest of my afternoon will now be occupied turning family into felines.
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Thank you! The rest of my afternoon will now be occupied with turning family into felines.
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LOL, too good. Though I agree that, even by your standards, the last one is a little too X-Files.
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Hahaha, these need to be made into cards! I love them!
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janice recently posted Memorial Day Weekend.
the last one…please don’t change your profile pic to that one, thank you
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Love this. We have a herd of cats that allow us to live with them.
http://beingsmokey.blogspot.com/2015/04/this-post-is-not-cute.html
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smokeynall recently posted The First Goalie Post..
The last pic is the best. I bet you can’t wait to go to Yale. They are Dog People, but they will understand.
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I think that last one probed me when I was abducted by the Mother Ship.
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I am so in love with this. I also have a Social Justice Kitten calendar from Liartown USA which makes the cats say the funny as well. Why can’t I or the Internet get enough of this?
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ercatalano10 recently posted Zoe vs.: The Honor Roll.
I would not have thought that anything could make me smile right now, let alone laugh hysterically. Thank you!! Off to download!!
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In Japan, you can do this without an app…
http://twistedsifter.com/2015/04/giant-cat-head-you-can-wear-like-mask/
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Can I use one of these as my facebook profile pic? I don’t know if I need the gin or the B.S. one more! Thanks for sharing your weird.
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I’m going to get that app right now…
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my stomach hurts so bad right now.
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Because of you, Jenny, I can now allow pictures of myself again. Thank you. Because the cats all look young and thin and healthy!
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Elyse recently posted Heartbreak.
Jenny is my muse today… my wickedly fucked up epically awesome muse LOL You’re welcome/I’m sorry.
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Wow. That took me far too long to get the Napoleon joke. I give up on today.
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this is why you are the queen of everything!
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Not a cat person, but I love these! Laughing so hard. Jen
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Love these. Especially the shanking one.
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#3 Looks eerily like Tom Waits in cat form.
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These are hilarious
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That last one was the BEST!
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This amuses me because my 25 year old daughter (aka Big Kid) used these hashtags last night on a Facebook post she wrote about how weird it was for her to be single when everyone she knows is getting married and having babies – #crazycatladywithoutthecatsbecauseiamallergic #ihaveplantsinstead #andadeadfishinthefreezer
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May day is better for having read this post. For that, I thank you.
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These are terrific!!!
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Hours of entertainment.
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Only the best kind of friend would do this:). She or he is a keeper!
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candidkay recently posted Enough? Hell, yes..
ROFLMAO!!!
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This is so awesome! I might have to write about it for my German peeps! And your captions make the whole thing more than hilarious, Jenny 😀
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yeahkittyyeah recently posted Katzen – Die Anarchos unter den Haustieren?.
“Bitch, I will fucking end you” got me good, but the same pic with “She doesn’t even go here” was unmitigated genius. Absolutely brilliant.
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Oh come on Victor, Jenny with Cat heads and those captions are hilarious. Best ever 😀 The expressions on ‘her’ face are gold.
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Oh come on Victor, Jenny with Cat heads and those captions are hilarious. Best ever 😀 The expressions on ‘her’ face are gold. Pure gold.
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Gary Lum recently posted The Australian Government sent me a birthday gift.
That last one looks exactly like our new friend Caitlyn! Or maybe that Vanity Fair cover is branded into my eyeballs, forever.
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In his sleevies!!!!! BAAHAHHAHAAA!
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I need this app immediately. Why isn’t it available for Android???? WHY????
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Karen Marie Peterson recently posted My weekend was full of sleeplessness over things I cannot change. Oh, and a haircut..
This is amazing. I love them ALLLLLL !!!!!! The last one is still creeping me out. But in a good way! 🙂
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I’m having a rough day, what with the anxiety and depression and all that stuff, and this made me smile a real smile, even with the last creepy cat, so…thank you. even if my mind is so foggy I had to read the Napoleon joke twice….
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Thank you for this. I didn’t think I could smile today, but you came through for me like you always do.
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Gin WOULD be nice. I’d like some, too, please. Please?
These are fantastic! I love them. 🙂 I think I need to check out that app…
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As I sit and giggle at these, my cat sneezed and got snot in my eye…..CAT SNOT IN MY EYE!!!
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Love these! And tell Victor he’s lucky. Last time I turned into a cat, it was Bitchy Kitty. There just isn’t enough gin in the world to make that better.
(http://www.andbythatimean.com/#!Sometimes-Im-the-Bitchy-Kitty/cmbz/555903430cf24874173c2939)
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Gin Kitty’s face has me hypnotized.
More gin, yes, gin is good. Drinks on me, Gin Kitty. Whatever you say.
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Spoken Like A True Nut recently posted So you’ve forgotten your one year blogiversary..
Laughing so hard I’m CRYING!
Note to self: If you’re going to illegally surf FB during work do not read Jenny’s posts.
Love,
Me
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This made my day! Hilarious!!!!
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I think I’m going to have some seriously messed up nightmares tonight. Thanks for that.
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Cassandra recently posted The Five Things I Hate About Summer.
I can only imagine the nightmares that plague Victor. And I am pretty sure that you will soon have real giant cat heads and large Big Chief tablets for captions. Which, at about 3 a.m. will be awesome.
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HogsAteMySister recently posted Questions That Haunt Me.
As a Crazy Cat Lady, I probably need this. Or it could it somehow translate as comments on student work. “If your paper smells like cat butt then…”
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kstewand4cats recently posted Cry “EEEEEEEEEEEEE!” and let slip the hogs of war!.
You don’t like Sphinx cats? Love the photos.
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Fucking hysterical! I want them all!
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Hahahahaha! So great! Thank you Jenny. Bless your stupid little heart – oodles!
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Love the last one.
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I can’t stop laughing…and can’t decide which is my favorite…I think these need to go on a t-shirt. Immediately.
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smart mouth mom recently posted For now..
In his sleevies. Lol!!!
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Thank you for my laugh of the day.
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My husband tells me the Napoleon joke at least once a week. And still I love him. I shove a cat picture (or actual cat) in his face with at least the same frequency. No wonder I love you and your blog. Turns out you are a nice mix of both of us!
Keep up the good work and never change.
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I love all the text in all the pics!
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Sandy the Fearless Scribe recently posted Questions that should have answers.
Are you kidding? The last one is the coolest one! Eat your heart out, Catwoman!
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completely epic. i must download this app immediately and annoy everyone i know.
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So now we call you “The Cattess” instead?
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I hope they called the app “Impurr-fections”. I just saw that you provided a link to the app… I refuse to click it, as I will be forced to change my joke.
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I think your hair is dry now.
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It took me an embarrassingly long time to get the Napoleon joke. Although I am the same person who took an hour to figure out the bumper sticker Visualize Whirled Peas.
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do they have an app like this for Windows on PC and/or Android phones?
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This was probably the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time!
http://somebodyfromsomewhere.blogspot.com/
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You made my day!
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Nomads By Nature: The Adventure Continues recently posted Come See And Hear What’s New on the New BLOG!.
This is amazing. Also Sleevesies. slayed me.
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thanks for making my day!
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deliriouspancake recently posted I worry for the future generations.
I totally cracked up! Last one is the Silent Treatment-on Steroids.
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Made me shoulder pump laugh- it’s late and I’m supposed to be quiet right now. Love the dodgy black outs too! And Napoleon … sweet little Napoleon.
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Melinda Uys recently posted Queensland: The Sunshine (A Bit Cold Sometimes) State.
It’s disturbing. The last one is how I actually picture Jenny when I read some of her posts. A little bit creepy, but in a way that’s hilarious.
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Christopher recently posted Light ‘Em Up..
Oh good lord, you’re cracking my shit up. You can text me creepy cat pics any day. (Or you know, share them on your blog. One of those. 🙂
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Quirky Chrissy recently posted This is What I Get For Showing Off Like an Asshole.
Pretty sure I was channeling the second kitty last night when some his-momma-loves-him bless-his-heart fine specimen of a human in an oversized-even-for-Texas truck cut me off at the gas station.
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You can’t stop meow.
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That last one looks like a cat Avatar.
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Can I please, PLEASE, make a poster of the cat saying “Bitch, I will fucking END you”? Or maybe “Bless your stupid heart.” I need these things. For my office door. So students stop coming to see me. Or keep coming but know what the deal is. Either way is good.
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Darling woman!! Bless your pea picking heart and everything else. Thanks for keeping me sane. Will you please make a t-shirt with the “What sort of fuckery is this?” comment/photo on it? PLEASE?!?! Looking forward to your visit to Seattle in November.
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Oh, I really needed that!
Most of those are now saved in my “awesome pictures” folder on my phone. They will randomly appear in my friends’ inboxes, Facebook comments, etc. I know, it’s silly. But it’s fun and keeps us smiling on days when smiles are hard to come by.
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These need to be fridge or car magnets. Stat!
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Years ago, when my boys were young, I edited a photo of me holding my young son. I took my head, shrunk it down and put it on my son’s body. Then, I took my son’s head, enlarged it, and put it on my body. So I had a fully grown son with a baby head holding a baby with a grown man head. It was awesome.
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TechyDad recently posted Asperger’s Syndrome and Siblings.
Oh no the photos disappeared! I emailed the link to my friend and she’s all mkay where are all the cat heads you promised…
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F me okay now they’re back- gremlins…
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Why no Android version? Why?!?!
Also, sleevies: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
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And I thought the crow eating the rat in my backyard would give me nightmares. Thanks for effectively wiping out that image.
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Diane Holcomb recently posted How to Turn Bedtime Into Sleepy Time.
That last picture… I’ve died. Much lol, many pee.
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i literally have nothing to say except: bahahahahahahahahahaha
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Amy M recently posted One Year.
Yay!!! Goodreads loves ya!
https://www.goodreads.com/blog/show/522-24-upcoming-books-you-should-add-to-your-to-read-shelf-right-now?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Editorial&utm_campaign=Upcomingbookstoadd
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I laughed so hard I cried. Napoleon’s armies made me snort! An yes, that last one….
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I’m a dunderhead… I downloaded it and can’t figure out how to make it work. 😦
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Thats fantastic! You are wonderful!!
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Did you realize CatCon was this weekendin LA? I thought of you! You have got to look at the art by William Fred Schultz. http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/jun/07/catcon-2015-comic-con-for-cat-lovers?CMP=share_btn_fb
Enjoy!!
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Absolutely fucking glorious. I’m sort of migrating to my cat’s fb page instead of mine (don’t judge. It’s a long story) and a picture of me with her furious ‘leave me the fuck alone or I will end you’face on my shoulders might just be a perfect way to leave my own profile…
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I am going to use these to express my feelings on the internet.
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