First off, my book is officially released to the public at midnight tonight and I’m terrified and excited all at once. I’m getting tons of tweets from people who’re getting notifications that it’ll arrive at their house in the morning, and a few who somehow got it early and are already enjoying it. I can only assume those people convinced their bookstore that today is Tuesday, or possibly they know the value of well-placed bribes. Either way, I salute you.
Tomorrow is the book launch party and you have to come. If you don’t know what I’m talking about go here for the details. It’s all online so you can come even if you’re in your pajamas or nude or a cat. (I mean, you can even come if you are a cat. Not if you’re in a cat. Don’t do that. Ew.) I’m still looking though all of your party name suggestions and I can’t pick just one so I’m currently leaning toward “The Church of Bloggessianism Presents The Furiously Happy Hour Fight Club Nonsexual-Orgy Featuring John Stamos If He Feels Like Getting In a Blanket Fort with Ferris Mewler and a Taxidermied Raccoon: The WE’RE HERE AND WE’RE NOT USED TO IT Party“. I doesn’t quite fit on a t-shirt though.
BUT! I’m afraid of technology so tonight let’s do a 5 minute test, okay? If you happen to be online tonight (Monday) at 6pm central go here to this test page I just made and we’ll see if it works, okay? This is not the same page that the actual party will be tomorrow (Tuesday). See my last post for that link. And if everything goes pear-shaped on Tuesday then we’ll just take over twitter, or I’ll break into the business center down the street and conduct the largest conference call in the world. Whatever. It’s our party and we’re winging it. Prepare to take to the streets if necessary. And by “take to the streets” I mean “hide in your bathroom with your phone.”
PS. John Stamos is not in any way expected to be here but he hasn’t blocked me yet on twitter and – in fact – he’s following me so I suspect he’s an introvert like us and will be lurking. He seems like a lurker. But in a really good way.
PPS. I think this is the first time I’ve ever shared a recipe on this blog but just in case you want to match what we’ll be drinking here tomorrow during the Furiously Happy Hour I’m sharing a few of my drink recipes…
Cheap Shame: Mix one part Strawberry Hill to one part Sprite. Serve over ice in a disposable cup. Remember 7th grade with equal parts fondness and horror.
Booze slushie: Make a snow cone using your vintage knuckle-scraper Snoopy snow-cone maker. After 15 minutes, a broken knuckle and two inches of melted snow-cone give up and curse loudly. Go buy a real snow cone maker or a blender. Pour whatever you have over the snow cone. I prefer Chambord, cheap amaretto, box wine, or that rum Kenny Chesney makes. Stop judging me.
The menstruating unicorn: Smirnoff Ice over Cherry 7-up served with a lit sparkler. Watch your bangs, y’all.
Water: It’s just water. It’s what I drink when I’m thirsty and it’s very refreshing. I recommend.