This would be funnier if you were drunk too.

A morning in the life of me:

This morning I went to see Sisters at the movies with my friend Maile.  We were concerned that it might not be funny and we needed it be so we ordered drinks but the movie theater was like, “It’s illegal to sell you booze this early on Sunday morning unless you get food because Texas is weird” but then they admitted that the slice of lime they put on the side of my margarita counts as food, which was awesome because then we were lightly buzzed and also we weren’t going to get scurvy.  I had to pee halfway through the movie but I didn’t want to miss anything so I ran as fast as I could to the restroom, but on the way back I guess I was running too fast (and my feet shrunk because it’s cold here) so as I was running my shoe shot off my foot and flew into the air and when it fell it hit a stranger in the back.    And he was looking up at the ceiling like, “What just fell on me?” and I looked up the air, like I was also concerned that things were falling and said, “Whoa.  What just happened?” as I slipped my shoe back on (which sounds bad but my shoe barely hit him and it was really embarrassing so technically we were both victims) and then I ran back to my seat and told Maile we couldn’t leave because I hit someone with a flying shoe.  And she’s a good friend because she didn’t even blink.  Then this old lady beside us had to go to the bathroom but she lost her balance and almost toppled down the stairs but Maile grabbed her in a concerned man-handling sort of way and kept her from breaking all of her hips, so I think our karma equaled out.  (Saving old ladies > owning a shoe that kicks people in the back.) Like, technically I think we could even kick a few puppies and we’d still be up on the karma points.  Not that we would.  I’m just saying that we could, but we wouldn’t.  Which makes our karma even higher, I think.  Choosing not to kick puppies is a +2 to your karma score every day, y’all.  This is science.

So, long story short, I know this is gonna piss a lot of people off, but Sisters was way funnier than Star Wars.  Sorry, not sorry.

PS.  The booze may not have completely worn off yet.  Sorry.  For real.  Sorry.

PPS.  Also, our husbands and kids met us for lunch afterward and Victor ordered fish.  I think it’s supposed to be fancy but basically they just dropped a whole fish in the fryer which seems like the laziest way to make fish ever.  I usually don’t get why people post pictures of their food and drinks on the internet but I’m making an exception because THEY DIDN’T EVEN REMOVE THE TEETH.  I didn’t even know fish had teeth, so maybe they added them?  I don’t know how fish work.

fishteeth

PPPS.  Sorry again.  For all the stuff above.  The usual.

*******

And now, the weekly wrap-up:

sth

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Garage Door Nation.  That seems like a weird sponsor but who doesn’t have or need a garage door?  EVERYONE.  Plus, they’re paying for you to read this so let’s give them attention.  They’re the leading supplier of garage door springs and other parts for the do-it-yourselfer looking to save big, including the garage door insulation kit which lets you insulate your garage for lower energy bills all year. They ship nationwide and offers 24/7 online customer service.  Check out their step-by-step free video tutorial here.

109 replies. read them below or add one

  1. It’s great to know in Texas the liquor laws can be interpreted with flexibility😀

    Like

    Gary Lum recently posted Christmas 2015.

  2. What about kicking kittens? I do this a lot, but I wouldn’t if they didn’t lie right on the stairs.

    Like

    Janet Coburn recently posted The Ups and Downs of Positivity.

  3. This is comedy gold, and Awesome. You are awesome. I’m cry laughing.

    Like

  4. I had two margaritas before I read this so I know how you felt.

    Like

  5. Today is my Birthday, and this was a fabulous gift. Thank you for being you!!

    Like

  6. Yep. Fish have teeth. So do iguanas. So, don’t go sticking your finger in their mouths. I know this from experience and didn’t even NEED alcohol to make that work.

    Like

  7. I’m confused about one thing. Did you slip on your shoe, or did you slip your shoe on? or both?

    Like

  8. 8
    Mary, Fairy Godmother

    I think I may have peed a little reading this. Needed the laugh today, thank you.

    Like

  9. Fried fish eyeballs are likely a delicacy…..somewhere. Ick. Margaritas and a movie? Yes please! The tequila might make me want to sit in a room full of humans aka a movie theater!

    Like

    Gem recently posted Social Anxiety and Awkwardness.

  10. I am going to go see Sisters as soon as I can find a theater around here which serves booze, in your honor. So Tina and Amy owe you a check, yo.

    Like

  11. Did Victor order piranha? Just asking cuz…it kinda looks it… 😳

    Like

  12. God bless The Alamo (Drafthouse). Making an assumption but they should get credit because they are the first I know of that serve alcohol at the movies. I heart The Alamo.

    Like

  13. My Favorite Blue Law: When we moved to Texas in 1982, on Sundays you couldn’t buy alcohol until after noon, but you couldn’t buy an Atari cartridge ALL DAY.

    Like

    Tragic Sandwich recently posted Butch and Sundance.

  14. My husband ordered a fish like that once, and I couldn’t eat until he covered its face with a napkin.

    Like

  15. Fish teeth. Yum.

    Like

  16. We have special theatres in Canada where you can order an entire bottle of wine and kick whatever the f*ck you want. But not small animals. Obviously. Because it’s Canada. You should totally come to the movies here.

    Like

    educationalmentorship recently posted My Week 65: Christmas Eve at the Emergency Room, Festive Misunderstandings.

  17. This post is brilliant. Love the fish visual. Wish I had a husband named Victor I could write about, maybe I could make one up? …meantime only have a dog. Might work on that. Bet wishes to you Lady Bloggess.

    Like

    Carmen recently posted Post Christmas: Situation Report ....

  18. Jee. Sus.
    How many times do I have to tell you kids? No eyeballs allowed on the dinner plates! It’s tacky, and probably not even kosher.

    Like

    emrohrer recently posted Honey, we need to do a Christmas card. Do you have a shortie robe, snow boots, and a hat with ear flaps?.

  19. Those are extraordinarily tiny teeth, No wonder he needs so many of them. Flossing must suck if you are that kind of fish.

    Like

    notquiteold recently posted Just What I Always Wanted (Really).

  20. Postscript from Carmen ….actually my sister and me are NOT getting on. I do all that I can to communicate via smoke signals, etc. Offer chocolates & so forth. She’s my “big sister” and me her annoying baby sister. And dealing with her is like dealing with Vladmir Putin. Would love to see that sisters movie. But fear I may cry throughout the whole thing. Since my father died – he used to keep everything in order – sister siblings have gone feral. Any tips. I finding writing about them to be great therapy ….plus the meds. cheers.

    Like

    Carmen recently posted Post Christmas: Situation Report ....

  21. I’m glad you saved the old lady from breaking “all of her hips”. BTW, how many would that be?

    (ALL OF THEM. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  22. I don’t like it when my food still has eyes.

    Like

    Michelle recently posted Narcissism And Gas Lighting: Learning Small Lessons.

  23. I actually helped my dad quarter a salmon and was playing with its mouth and tongue (salmons have huge tongues) pretending it’s talking and trying to bite people and yet…
    I still find your fish disturbing…

    Like

  24. I’m so glad you liked Sisters. Disclaimer: I haven’t seen it yet. But I WANT to see it and I love Tina Fey and Amy Pohler and I’m willing to drink whatever it takes but I’m now worried that my shoes will fly off or I’ll be the old lady losing her balance on the stairs and noone will catch me and I’ll break both my hips and possibly my lumbar spine and my doctor will be all, “SEE! I TOLD YOU TO TAKE THE OSTEOPOROSIS MEDICINE!!” but I’m afraid of the osteoporosis medicine because I’ve read that it can cause femur fractures and jaw necrosis and how can either of those possibly be better than a broken hip? So, maybe I won’t go see Sisters. Athough I really really want to.

    Like

  25. I like that you get karma points for not kicking puppies. I have never kicked a puppy (or a cat). I did kick Roger Frasier when I was eight, but he totally deserved it.

    Like

    marydpierce recently posted A Wish for Grace, A Dream of Sleep.

  26. Lol. Seriously, nothing with eyeballs should be served. At least make my meat look less like animal before serving. That’s just lazy.

    Like

    Whitney recently posted Happy holidays!.

  27. I haven’t seen Sisters, but there were parts of Star Wars that WERE damn funny. If you wondered. But also parts that made me want to weep.

    Like

    Jen Donohue recently posted Schrödinger's Submission.

  28. The fish – woof, gag! Who can eat something that looks like that? I don’t think I could have even stayed at the same table! Gross!!!

    Like

  29. I could not eat something that had it’s head on it and teeth in its mouth…kinda like the duck in A Christmas Story..but that’s just me…:)

    Like

    rlstambaugh recently posted Top Ten Things I Miss About Christmas.

  30. I hand delivered a Christmas Eve card to my my 92 year old neighbour, and later she gave me a card, and asked if we could go get our mail together. I helped her walk down our lumpy driveway so she wouldn’t tip over.
    When I got home, I opened the card and there was a cheque for fifty bucks inside. I wouldn’t normally cash it, but I remembered that Seinfeld episode where Jerry cashed all his grandmother’s cheques all at once, and her account got cleaned out.
    I wouldn’t want that to happen to Lilian. So I cashed it.

    Like

  31. I just got Furiously Happy for Christmas and am on my second read through. Also bought a copy for my therapist. I feel like you would approve of this decision. Therapy is going to be so much more interesting after he reads it! Either that or I’ll be fitted for a strait jacket. Either way, definitely more interesting. If he goes with option b, which I doubt because he’s awesome, I promise I’ll be screaming “but it’s a New York Times bestseller motherfucker!!” as they drag me away.

    Like

  32. That fish is fucking weird. I wouldn’t eat it. It may give me nightmares just seeing the fucking thing. I need a drink, fruit optional.

    Like

  33. Ha! Sounds like a great day. Glad you both had a blast, and the balance was restored. Cheers to many more moments of smiles and raised eyebrows

    Like

  34. Ha. Sounds like a great day. Glad you had a blast, and balance was restored. Cheers to many more memories, and raised eyebrows.🙂

    Like

  35. Obviously this fish was not shot in a barrel since it is in one piece.

    Like

  36. Okay, is no one else wondering what that bizarre fluorescent green thing is next to the fish? Is that a vegetable? A garnish? I assume everyone else is too mesmerized by the teeth and/or eyeballs to wonder. Which, I guess, makes me a little too blasé about teeth and eyeballs?

    Like

  37. I’m with Amy C. above – that fish looks like a fracking piranha.

    When I first saw the fish pic, I thought you were going to say you had taken part in the old Czech tradition of buying a live carp a couple of days before Christmas, let it swim in the tub, then eat it for dinner on Christmas Eve. It’s not like there isn’t a precedent for that type of shenanigans occuring within your family. ☺ 🐟 🍷

    Like

  38. Poor damn fishy! Merry Freakin’ Christmas to him, huh? I like my food in small, tasty bites that would require DNA tests to identify. I don’t want to feel like a murderer.

    Like

  39. So agree with you on Star Wars. My geeky son gave it 2 stars out of 5. I gave it 3.

    Like

  40. Seriously, sister, you need this app: https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/runpee.com/id450326239?ls=1&mt=8 …. tells you when the safest time is to go pee during a movie and saved me a billion times.

    Like

  41. holy shit! that fish still has eyes!

    Like

    turtlesong recently posted a turtle’s eye view – a covenant with death by stephen becker.

  42. Just finished both of your fabulously hysterical wonderful books! I am also a Stephen King fan, so it would be creepy if I said, “I’m your #1 fan!” But I am not creepy, however I don’t eat food that’s staring at me.

    Like

  43. Holy moley, that fish scared the hell out of me.

    Like

  44. Spent much of Christmas Day in an urgent care clinic getting the tip of my thumb sewn back on. The shots of numbing agent hurt far worse than the actual stitches. I think I might have levitated a bit off the gurney. They had to sew through the nail. I know. All because I was chopping celery for a stuffed acorn squash which was supposed to be a healthy vegetarian Christmas dinner dish. The hell with “healthy.” Next time I’m ordering fried piranha takeout.

    And happy birthday, Jenny! I know it’s a couple days early, but you really can’t have enough birthday celebration. Can’t let that Jesus kid hog the entire spotlight. I’d give you a thumbs up, but… Well…

    Like

  45. The fish scares me, as do the Weeping Angel chonies.

    Like

  46. Very important to remember that a shark is a fish. And they have teeth.

    Like

  47. You make me laugh out loud. I’m reading your second book right now and I’ve been laughing a lot today. And when you’re around other people and you are laughing at a book out loud, it feels weird. But I don’t care so, Thank you.🙂

    Like

  48. 48
    The Sticklady

    If the fish bothered you, you didn’t drink enough at the movie😂

    Like

  49. I watched Sisters last weekend and have told anyone who will listen that it’s the best worst movie I’ve ever seen and I just want to watch it again because it was so funny in a terribly awful but yet amazing type of way.

    Shockingly the NYT hasn’t come a-knockin’ begging me to write movie reviews for them…

    Like

  50. Annnnd, now I’m going to have nightmares about that fish. Thanks a lot, Victor!

    Like

  51. Boy, am I out of touch. Isn’t Sisters a song that Bing Crosby and Danny Kaye sing, dressed like women, in the movie White Christmas? It is pretty funny. But I doubt that’s the movie you’re talking about.

    Liked by 1 person

    Diane Holcomb recently posted Not Every Christmas Must be Memorable to be Cherished.

  52. I kick puppies all of the time. But it’s their fault for walking in front of my foot when I’m holding a big dog and can’t look down. It’s so routine at my job that we call it the Punt the Puppy Game.

    Like

  53. Sweet Jesus, people like me really do exist.

    Like

  54. Have you read Amy Poheler’s book? It’s pretty funny. She’s pretty self depreciating and real. I listened to Tina Fey’s book sample and I hate to say this but it didn’t wow me. I almost felt un-American saying that b/c I do love her but I didn’t find it lacked humor
    .

    Like

  55. I’d rather eat a deep fried Donald Trump toupee.

    Like

    Shawnte recently posted Goodreads Giveaway and a Hi-Def Video of a Recent Reading in Flagstaff.

  56. I don’t think there’s anything better than to be able to laugh at all the crap that your day can throw at you. Keep laughing. It’s the best medicine. Thoroughly enjoyed this. Thanks!

    Like

  57. I’m planning on taking my Gusband and my sister to that movie! I’m so happy a it got your nod of approval!!

    Like

  58. You need the RunPee app – they go see the movies and tell you when a good time is to leave the move e and go pee. It. Is. Awesome.

    Like

  59. Oh dear goodness. That fish. Please take it away from my mind.

    Like

  60. Fish totally have teeth. Nemo might have had teeth, my fishology doesn’t really go that far, but, yeah. And when you cook a whole fish, it’s not really lazy, there’s something-something in the chemistry-something-integrity that changes the taste. Also, respect fot the animal that gave its life. It’s not just a fish, it’s a metaphor, and reality itself, bending overbackwards and touching post-post-postmodernist metaphysical Truth.

    Like

  61. Do fish who HAVE teeth also have to go to a fish dentist? ARE there such things as fish dentists?

    Like

    terib19 recently posted Holiday Traditions.

  62. Fish is moister and sweeter when fried whole. Not only that, but you can be sure what kind of fish you are eating. Just about all animal protein comes from something with eyes- might as well face it (SORRY for the pun)

    Like

  63. you are better than Prozac.
    you tickle me w/ your words.
    “Furiously Happy” was one of my fave. books of 2015 OMGGGGGGGGGG
    your mishaps become my giggles.
    the fish above is ugly as hell. I feel sorry for him.
    love from MN. x

    Like

  64. I have happily eaten Ham Yue (those tiny crunchy salty little fish with the eyeballs still in) but that giant fried Slab o’ Jaws is the most frightening thing I’ve ever seen. And I have a very adventurous palate.🙂

    Like

  65. This post was funnier than Star Wars…probably. I haven’t seen it yet. Running away….

    Like

    janice recently posted My Brain Needs Some Help.

  66. Egads, that fish’s sunken fried eye and thread-like teeth are just too horrifying for me to look at this early in the morning (it is 11:37 a.m. here). I don’t look at grotesque fish until much later in the day. Maybe I’ll go see a movie.

    Like

    Nooce Miller recently posted Twas the Day After Christmas: Weekend Coffee Share.

  67. That cannot be a fish. That is the fucking xenomorph from Alien.

    Like

  68. Hee hee hee! I read this sitting on my front porch and laughed so loudly it scared my horses, who immediately bungled their high-powered flight by slipping in a lot of mud (incessant rain here). Now they are all muddy and pissed off and back at the fence demanding treats for all this indignity. I told them that hilarious blog posts from you do not equal apples. Today they equal fish. Horses don’t like fish. I win.

    Like

  69. What did Victor say when he ordered, “I’ll have the river monster”?

    Like

  70. Seriously, Jenny! How do you think piranhas eat an entire cow in a few seconds without teeth?
    Gums don’t cut it.

    Like

  71. Oh my goodness, that reminds me of the time my sister and I went to see some stupid horror movie. It wasn’t a great movie. But our friend was in the front of the theater and we were in the back and we could hear her breath, and we laughed for the first part of the movie. Then, a ceiling tile fell right in the middle of the movie and we were laughing again. Then, there was a bomb threat at the mall and we all had to go stand outside for a while.

    Like

  72. Those fish teeth — holy crap!. Makes that time I was snorkeling and a huge school of fish was following me everywhere seem less magical and amazing and more menacing and creepy.

    Like

  73. I have to admit, I was a little grossed out by the close-up fish face, but then you went and totally redeemed yourself with The Shining gingerbread house. The shoe incident is embarrassing but at least you didn’t get yelled at. Once I went to the movies with my mom and she dumped nearly her entire bucket of popcorn on a guy. He jumped up and started to yell at her but after she apologized profusely he calmed down. Still, I bet he had weird grease stains on his shirt afterwards.

    Like

    Gina W. recently posted Another Christmas Post (note-- some bitching contained within).

  74. I had a fish like that once, in a Kenyan restaurant. We named him Mitt.

    Like

  75. Oh yes, fish have teeth. shudder My ex used to take us to this lake in a local forestry area. And the fish were always biting my legs. Only me, never anyone else. So they thought I was crazy. I eventually refused to go in the lake with the biting fish. I prefer pools and things that are filtered with no fish, except the ocean was fun last spring, and no fish bit me at all. sigh

    Like

  76. Flasks are handy!

    Like

  77. That fish reminds me of the studio diner, in San Diego, where the waitress claimed they do a whole fried fish because that’s how they do it in new England or even Boston, I’m originally from Massachusetts and no, that’s not how they do it there. I agree it’s a totally lazy way to do a fish, but if you order one in a Chinese restaurant, that’s how you get the fish, whole with the guts removed. Last time I went to the Chinese grocery store they actually had a chart of how they could sell you fish, eg whole, gutted, fileted, fried whole, fried whole with the head removed etc. I wish I had taken a photo!

    Like

  78. That fish reminds me of the studio diner, in San Diego, where the waitress claimed they do a whole fried fish because that’s how they do it in new England or even Boston, I’m originally from Massachusetts and no, that’s not how they do it there. I agree it’s a totally lazy way to do a fish, but if you order one in a Chinese restaurant, that’s how you get the fish, whole with the guts removed. Last time I went to the Chinese grocery store they actually had a chart of how they could sell you fish, eg whole, gutted, fileted, fried whole, fried whole with the head removed etc. I wish I had taken a photo!

    Like

  79. My husband loves that kind of fish, and one time, we paid our 16-year-old $50 to eat one of the eyeballs. She was grossed out but never underestimate what a teenager will do for cash.

    Like

  80. Texas “Blue Laws” were put into effect in 1863 and most lasted until 1985. Besides no alcohol on Sundays, the laws even included hardware stores. (No working on Sundays, ’cause you know.) They could sell hammers and screwdrivers, but no nails or screws. So basically you could get hammered on a Sunday, but not screwed. Ba-da-bum, ching!

    Like

    TexasTrailerParkTrash recently posted Really, That Word Has Been A Staple in Politics, Like, Forever….

  81. That hideous fish looks like it could eat puppies. I’m not convinced that’s not a piranha.

    Like

    Kelly recently posted Cancer is an Asshole Whose Ass I Shall Kick.

  82. If it makes you feel any better, Jenny (and anyone else), my hairdresser nearly got into a fight defending my honor at a screening of American Hustle that we attended; it seems the jackoff in the row ahead of us objected loudly and obnoxiously to my telling Dana (hairdresser) what the movie was basically about, Dana told him to knock it off and leave me alone, and for a moment there I was more than a little worried…fortunately, Jackoff shut up and we all watched the movie in peace. (I wasn’t even spoiling anything, since it was opening night and none of us knew how it would end.) Some people…

    BTW, isn’t it your birthday today? Happy birthday, and may you have all the cake and lactose-free ice cream you can stand!

    Like

  83. That reminds me of the time our waitress (at a pricey, upscale local seafood restaurant) described the catch of the day as having a sheep’s head and human teeth. And when told “no one wants that, please stop talking about it”, she kept on. I couldn’t even order food after hearing that.

    Like

  84. 84
    Curiouser & Curiouser

    That fish could save your life if you run into the angel statues from “Blink”!!! Um . . . unless Victor already ate it, then you are doomed.

    Like

  85. My SO ordered fish once, not realizing they meant an entire fish until he brought it home.
    Unnerved by the sight of slightly-deflated fish eyeballs, he put it outside for the trash pandas and we ordered pizza.

    Like

  86. I clicked over, expecting the don’t-blink boxers to be magic-eye picture boxers. I wonder if that’s something that should happen or something that should NEVER happen?

    Like

  87. My SO ordered fish once, not realizing that the takeout place meant an entire fish until he brought it home.
    Unnerved by the sight of slightly-deflated fish eyeballs, he put it outside for the trash pandas and we ordered pizza.

    Like

    Chris Jecca recently posted Christmas Day.

  88. This is what happens in movie theaters that serve drinks, but don’t get me wrong, I love drinking at the movies. I’m just used to bringing in my own nips

    Like

    Sheila Blanchette recently posted A Flight Risk: An Innkeeper’s Journal.

  89. I want to go to the movies with you. Flying shoes never happen when I go by myself.

    Like

    Catherine recently posted After Christmas Clean-up: Too Many Toys by David Shannon.

  90. Its great to know liquor laws are flexible

    Liked by 1 person

  91. My dad ordered a fish like that when I was 12, and it freaked me out so much, I didn’t eat fish again until well into my 20s. And now into my 40s, I still ask waiters “does this look like a fish?…”

    Like

  92. I was reading your book, Furiously Happy, and you had that chapter called the big quiz, and you said how amazing a person is. Yeah, I feel so amazing being home alone listening to my little sister cry, afraid to go comfort her because I don’t know how to comfort people, and instead am pretending to not notice and put on my headphones. I feel so horrible.

    (You are not horrible. You are highly empathetic and afraid of hurting someone already in pain. That is a good thing. But next time it happens just tell her that you’re here for her and that she should tell you what she needs if you can help. Chances are that just knowing you have her back will make a difference. Sending you love. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  93. Just came across your blog and I love it. Got to get following it.

    Like

  94. I saw both movies but Sisters after a break-up so I didn’t laugh so much as try not to cry:). Hate it when a bad breakup ruins a good movie. But Star Wars–well, I was better:). I’m just staying away from anything too sad–don’t try your flying shoe bit in a heart wrench flick. People get crazy:).

    Like

    candidkay recently posted Resolutions and such.

  95. Haven’t seen Sisters, but I’ll try and remember to wear shoes that don’t slip off easily. Sounds too much like something that would happen to me.

    Like

    Musings, Rants & Scribbles recently posted What Do You Say… When You Don’t Know What to Say?.

  96. One of my last meals as an omnivore, which helped cement my decision to become vegetarian, was a fish that stared at me while I was eating it. That shit creeps me the hell out. Food should not be able to stare at you. Or bite you with teeth.

    Like

  97. Oh, and to add to the grossness of fish eyeballs, my mom says she used to love fish head soup until she actual made it. When you eat it, the fish heads are gone (you just make the stock out of them), but when you make it, the eyeballs float to the top and stare at you from beyond their fishy graves. I’m not sure she even ate the soup she made.

    Like

  98. That fish is going to give someone (like me) nightmares.

    Like

  99. That poor damn fish needs some Chapstick. Look at those poor fish lips!

    Like

  100. I now want to buy something from Garage Door Nation despite the fact that I don’t even have a garage, simply in appreciation of the utter randomosity that is their sponsorship of your magnificent post. I am a marketing professional’s wet dream, CLEARLY.

    Like

  101. Did Victor actually eat that???

    Like

    Jenny Gargruella recently posted Vision For 2016.

  102. 102
    Ansjwns@aol.com

    That fish should come with a trigger warning. I have a wicked phobia of (very specifically) dead fish, and it FREAKED ME THE FUCK OUT.

    Like

  103. Was pleasantly surprised at how funny Sisters was. Also, no shoes were flung, so bonus (that is totally something I would do). I hope Jeremy Wade personally flung that toothy monster in the batter for Victor. shudder

    Like

  104. After reading some of the comments I have vowed NOT to buy or listen to any more of your books.
    I find myself reading the comments using your voice in my head. That can’t be normal!
    But I do wish you continued success.

    Like

  105. I have read both of your books and now you’re blog. I must say that you are actually helping my depression as I have felt as though I was spiraling down the drain with no happiness and now I come read some of your blog and it brings laughter and happiness to my life and I don’t feel alone for a little while! Keep the books coming your awesome and your helping me and I’m sure many others!!

    Like

  106. I can’t stop looking at the fish teeth.

    Like

  107. Fish have teeth. I’ve always thought they were adorable. Tiny wittle teefers. But maybe that’s just because I love fish. Yup. But the teeth should probably be removed before consumption. But then again, squid have tiny little teeth on their tentacles and those aren’t removed before consumption, and I’m rambling again.

    Like

  108. This is a really good tip particularly to those fresh to the blogosphere.
    Brief but very accurate info… Thanks for sharing this one.
    A must read article!

    Like

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