According to twitter it is #NationalToastDay and I was like, Wasn’t #NationalMargaritaDay just a few hours ago? Because it seems like we could have just combined them. But turns out that twitter is referring to the toast that’s less alcoholic good-wishes and more just well-done bread. And then I was disappointed. Until I remembered my Virgin Mary toast stamper, which is lovely because who wants to eat toast that isn’t a virgin? Ew. As the wise old saying goes: “No one wants to eat a sandwich that somebody else has fucked.” (That might not actually be a well-known saying but I’m pretty sure I heard it in a movie once.)
PS. I just went to get a link to the Virgin Mary bread stamper and Amazon was like, “You like that? You’re gonna love this shit. Make grilled cheese with Jesus. GRILLED CHEESUS, MOTHERFUCKERS.” Plus, it looks a lot like Eva Peron so it works for non-Christians too. DOUBLE MIRACLE.
Happy National Toast Day, you guys.