Pick up the book nearest you…

Someone just sent me this:

page45

So I decided to test it with my books.

The first full sentence of page 45 of the advance copy of Furiously Happy:

“It was like the Jesus-beach-footprint-in-the-sand poem, except with less Jesus and more bleeding.”

Huh.

Trying again with the final version of Furiously Happy:

“It wasn’t enough blood to be worrisome.”

So that’s…not much better.

Okay.  Let’s try the paperback of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened:

page 45 bloggess

Yeah.  I think we’re done here.

Your turn.

*******

And now, the weekly wrap-up:

bloggess sid

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by You Made Me a Mother, a super cute picture book about motherhood. It looks innocent at first, but you start reading it to your kid and suddenly you’re draining your eyeholes of tears and your kid is asking you what the hell you’re crying about. The book came about because of a viral video and Harper Collins was quick to pen a deal with the writer, Laurenne Sala, and Robin Preiss Glasser, the illustrator behind the NYT Best-selling Fancy Nancy series and their adorable picture book that hits shelves March 8th. If you want to watch anyone weep immediately, this is the present for them. Works on all kinds of moms, especially moms having baby showers, moms whose kids are going to college, moms with taxidermy collections, moms who never have a hair out of place, and moms who strictly wear holey yoga pants. Probably not for moms who totally hate their kids. Pre-order at YouMadeMeAMother.com

537 replies. read them below or add one

  1. A cookbook: “Apple and shiso work well together.”
    Hmmm.

    Like

    Ann St. Vincent recently posted I told him I may have sex with other men and he still put together my IKEA furniture..

  2. Looks like what drives me crazy don’t have no effect on you– but I’m gonna keep on at it till it drives you crazy, too.

    Selected Poems of Langston Hughes

    Liked by 6 people

  3. “He reached out with the barrel of the gun to swing the door open.” Not a good sign, that.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. “Cooling system diagrams”
    Yep.O_o

    Like

  5. Respect for husbands is an unfamiliar idea for many wives, but there certainly are reasons for their attitude.

    Cant say that describes my love life, I have great respect for my husband.

    I think I like your books better!!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. “Growing fascination was overcoming his suprise”
    Hmm…

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Place the thumb of the right hand on the V-groove label and place the index and middle fingers on the front of the base. – The Complete Guide To Basic Mat Cutting

    thinking very dirty thoughts here

    Liked by 8 people

  8. My nearest book doesn’t even have a page 45. Dammit!

    Like

  9. World atlas was closest book to me. Page 45 is a map of Ireland

    Liked by 5 people

  10. “What are you waiting for?” Louis asked him.

    From a book i grabbed for my son at the library – ‘George Brown, class clown It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Toiletman!

    hmmm. i’m sensing a different trend here – i think the nearest book TITLE describes your marriage?????

    Liked by 1 person

  11. “Next Round: Knit 1 (2, 1), *k1, k2tog; repeat from * around — 15 (18, 19) sts.”
    Geek Knits by Joan of Dark & Kyle Cassidy
    (which btw is HUGO AWARD ELIGIBLE – vote, y’all!)

    I mean… I guess it could be a seen as a metaphor for the comfortable monotony of long-term relationships…?

    Like

  12. “Andy Smith’s voice broke over the airwaves.”

    Ummmm, okaaaaay?

    Like

  13. Seconds pass. Everyone looks around (from the book What If?).

    Liked by 1 person

    Half a 1000 Miles recently posted Like Oprah Loves Bread.

  14. “Upon hatching, the entire complement of tadpoles is carried by the male.” I have no idea what to do with that.

    Liked by 4 people

  15. “Here, drink Ioroi Renzu, this is your banquet” …..0o

    Like

  16. …a stick if she needed to escape, OE to use the dense balls to knock the guards unconscious. Exhausted, she returned to her bedroom and finally hoisted herself on the enormous bed.

    Like

  17. “Yahweh left then; I don’t know if he went into the city or back up into the sky or what, the Bible doesn’t say, but it does say that Abraham turned around and went home.” ~The Holy Bible: Best God Damned Version (The Books of Moses)

    That does kind of sum it up.

    Like

  18. Greg read each item on his list and asked himself,”So, what do I want?”
    Oh, Greg. You’re killing me.

    Like

  19. “At the studios, she and the other extras changed into short-sleeved school blouses, white socks, gym shoes and the shorts that the film-makers worked into the curriculum at every opportunity.”

    Um. My love life is in porn? (It’s a biography of Vivien Leigh)

    Like

    Kristy McKinnon recently posted Flashback Friday: Why I'll Never Be An Actress.

  20. “You’ve lost your mind,” Huver says.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Second to the right, and straight on rill morning.

    Liked by 3 people

  22. “My legs were cramped and I felt generally shitty.” (Neil Gaiman is doing me no favors, here.)

    Liked by 2 people

  23. “At first I think we’re the shadow, but then I see illuminated statues of Frank and Jesse James in their secret hideout below.” Leisure Time by Michael Zadoorian

    Like

  24. So you’re saying that all these books are just laying around, full of pages that explain our love lives, while I’ve been stuffing my face daily at The Asian Buffet just to get that fortune cookie at the end for nothing?!

    Liked by 3 people

    Tanya recently posted How To Appreciate Wine (Like A Classy Grownup).

  25. “He was also very seriously irreverent and he really did not have any patience for pomposity or pretension.” PERFECTION. (Page 45 of a Grateful Dead coffee table book, opening on Lhil Lesh.) ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Honest to God (!) in “This Explains Everything” by John Brockman: “Sex is not entirely a pastime of mutual pleasure between consenting adults.” I think my love life is well summed up by just the first half of the sentence….”Sex is not entirely a pastime.”

    Liked by 1 person

    notquiteold recently posted Authenticity.

  27. “She was never seen again,” Galen said as he slid the sword into his belt.

    Either I am not doing this right or it is a commentary on loss of self after having children. Either way, I need to reevaluate what I am reading to my 5 year old…. because it is his book. >.<

    Liked by 1 person

  28. “The man in Jersey said: ‘Your luck, some broad’s pickin’ us up on her electric dildo.’ ” (Skin Tight by Carl Hiaasen). This is the book that should have been next to me, but I left it in the kitchen. The one actually nearest to me said, “The major spoke to an orderly who went out of sight in the back and came back with a metal basin of cold cooked macaroni.” (A Farewell to Arms by some dude called Hemingway who couldn’t be bothered to have his first name on the front cover.😉 Cold macaroni, huh? Hmmm.

    Like

    integratedexpat recently posted Buy fruit trees for your Valentine or snowdrops or primroses..

  29. “Try to make the author feel at ease.”

    Liked by 1 person

  30. “I’m spoiling for a fight again.”

    This may explain a lot.

    Liked by 2 people

    Kelly K. recently posted My Heart and Other Black Holes.

  31. My book was the nearest to me…”Tell me everything you know!” Was the sentence. Well. Strangely appropriate.
    😏

    Like

  32. “The man at the wheel was not.” Hmmmmmmmm . . . .

    Like

  33. “I want kisses without question marks.”

    Liked by 3 people

  34. Log cabin is structurally plain weave. This probably says a lot about my love life.

    Like

  35. Well the closest book was Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. So I went with the second closest….”Potash has been used for millennia for making everything from soap and glass to fertilizer and bleach.”

    Yeah, that about sums it up.

    Like

  36. ‘”Not a hope darling,” panted Prince Charles.’ [The Queen and I – Sue Townsend]

    Well I’m not sure what to say about that…

    Like

  37. “A picture so ludicrous entered her mind that she chuckled out loud.” Tennessee Williams Collected Stories
    Yep, sounds about right.

    Like

  38. “From Fatalism to Hope” pg 45 is apparently a chapter title page in Henri Nouwen’s Turn My Mourning into Dancing and it is incredibly fitting. But also possibly depressing since all my love life ever seems to be is hope…

    Liked by 1 person

    Rhiannon Hall recently posted She Was Fire.

  39. “Why don’t you check your system again?” she said through gritted teeth.
    Yikes. Gritted teeth, though. Unfortunately that part does fit.

    Liked by 1 person

  40. “Thank you, thank you very much.”

    Liked by 1 person

  41. Unfortunately, the nearest book to me is a coding manual. So apparently my love life is:

    protected void CreateStaticMenu() {

    which is… worrying.

    Liked by 1 person

  42. “Spit it out right now!” ~ to kill a mocking bird

    Liked by 2 people

  43. “There’s such a lot of world to see” from a ukulele chord book

    Liked by 1 person

  44. “I don’t think so,” said Richard, coldly, and he walked out of the office, leaving his briefcase behind him. — From Gaiman’s Neverwhere.

    I really wish this didn’t resemble my love life in any way. O.o

    Like

  45. “Tears formed in Ikuyo Oka’s eyes.”

    Like

  46. Re #28 Integratedexpat – you must have the hardcover of “Skin Tight.” The paperback’s first line on page 45 (and I swear I read it before I read these comments): “Christina couldn’t be sure, but she thought she saw a hungry spark in the eyes of Reynaldo Flemm.”

    Like

  47. “Jeez. I think I’ll get Jane a skirt-length of tartan instead.” Dragonfly in Amber (2nd Outlander book). Rather tame, considering the books.😉

    Like

  48. The nearest book is a guide to Japanese kanji characters. The top of p.45 is the character for “hard, difficult, bitter.”

    Like

  49. “This is a work of fiction”.

    Scary accurate, lol.

    Liked by 2 people

  50. I got the same as you. The nearest book is Furiously Happy.

    Like

    Janet Coburn recently posted Where Have All the Waterbeds Gone?.

  51. the blank page before the next chapter . . . well, yeah, I guess that does describe it perfectly. How uncany, how do They know these things?

    Liked by 1 person

  52. “What the hell?” LMAO. Yep. That’s about right!

    Liked by 1 person

  53. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets. “Clutching his broken glasses to his face he stared around.’

    Also I just want to quickly say Thank You to Gray for sending me a copy of Furiously Happy! I sent a thank-you via Amazon but also wanna say it here. 💚❤️💜

    Like

  54. “Fuck you, Sime.”

    Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore

    Like

  55. I am surrounded by books about medical coding and electronic health records. They will make no sense, which makes perfect sense.

    Like

    Kara recently posted Ralph Fiennes Reveals What Was Under Lord Voldemort’s Robe – The Graham Norton Show.

  56. I only had a French-English dictionary, but the first entry on page 45 was, remarkably, chef-d’oeuvre: masterpiece.

    Liked by 1 person

  57. “I don’t make culinary orgies a habit”. A bit 9 1/2 don’t you think?

    Liked by 2 people

  58. “Manny started to fuss and his pacified came half-way out of his mouth”. Hahahaha! This seems strangely fitting. And disturbing.

    Like

    Gina W. recently posted "Meh" (Alternate title: "Mah puddin' brain").

  59. “What the hell?” LMAO. Yep. That’s about right.

    Like

  60. “Straight lines in curved space time look curved to us for precisely the same reason that lines of longitude on the surface of the Earth look curved to us; the space upon which the straight lines are defined is curved.” -Human Universe, Prof. Brian Cox & Andrew Cohen

    Like

  61. “He woke up late next morning after a disturbed sleep. ”

    Huh. Welp. Uhhhhh. My poor husband????

    Liked by 1 person

  62. “With or without papers… Many people recommend that prospective goat buyers see the goat being milked, or better yet, milk her themselves”… Uhhhh ok? (Storeys guide to raising dairy goats). That’s kind of awkward!

    Liked by 1 person

  63. Annie groaned and poured herself a second cup of coffee.

    Like

  64. “Laira watched as the man before her stripped off her clothes.”

    Mated by Gwendolyn Cease (that’s me)

    And that’s a pretty good sentence if I say so myself. LOL

    Like

  65. From Unspoken, “I feel that I shall stand henceforth in thy shadow.”
    Well, that seems a little depressing.

    Like

  66. Uncanny how accurate this is. The nearest book was a blank journal.

    Like

  67. I think I have the winner! This is from the Reader’s Digest Fix-it-Yourself Manual: There are several reasons for draining the plumbing system.

    Liked by 2 people

  68. “Ethics,” he sneered. “I couldn’t name one man, rich or poor, who wouldn’t discard them for the right price.”
    Dreaming of You by Lisa Kleypas

    Timely with Trump seemingly everywhere these days.

    Like

  69. “‘Is the stress you feel new, or has it been ongoing?’ she asks.” (From Jen Lancaster’s Such a Pretty Fat)

    Eerily accurate.

    Like

  70. “I didn’t realize just how stuck Ronaldo was, until a few summers ago when my wife and I spent several days trying to clean out his gutter.”
    -Ronaldo, by Andrew D. Cohen in the Spring 2015 Missouri Review.

    I’m going to be wondering about that for the rest of the day, thank you.

    Like

    Manicmom recently posted Of futons, farewells, and the virtues of meatloaf.

  71. “People often referred to us as The Beginner’s Press, but that was most definitely not our name; good Lord, no”

    I’m not sure what to make of that…

    Like

  72. “When my best friend Jamie finally broke up with her evil boyfriend who had the personality of a raw potato, I considered it a hallowed day.” — The Idiot Girls’ Action-Adventure Club, by Laurie Notaro. I have no idea what that says about my love life… doesn’t sound good, though. (But it was my hubby who gave me the book, so..?)

    Like

  73. “We’ll see you in seven days,” said Andrew. (Cartwheel, by Jennifer DuBois). Hmmmm.

    Like

  74. “I suppose it’s possible that, giddy in her liberation, Ada decided to go see the Iffley oak.” Well that’s spot on! (Gregory Maguire’s “After Alice”)

    Like

  75. “If only I had been able to meet her, if just once.” Uh, so…I’m gay and didn’t know it because I missed meeting my true love? Thank you, Brandon Sanderson (Elantris), for the enlightenment.

    Like

  76. “You use to have a crush on my,” she teased him.

    Mary Higgins Clark
    Nighttime Is My Time

    Like

  77. “Ask students to apply a newly mastered skill in a more challenging situation.” -Teach Like a Champion: Field Guide by Doug Lemov

    LOL! So…does this mean I need to start up a Bull Durham style education harem? I dunno if I got enough Susan Sarandon in me to pull that off😉

    Like

  78. “CHOKER – this hunched-over wretch has long, pliable arm like tentacles capped with five wide, spiny claws.” Pathfinder Bestiary
    Hmmm….

    Liked by 2 people

  79. “Altogether, the Old Bailey, at that date, was a choice illustration of the precept, that “Whatever is, is right”; an aphorism that would be as final as it is lazy, did not include the troublesome consequence, that nothing that ever was, was wrong.” A tale of two cities
    I don’t even know what that means. Lol

    Like

  80. And it was always about greed. (Faye Kellerman)

    Italicized, even.

    Like

    Mrs Fever recently posted A picture is worth a thousand moans….

  81. “We call on it to explain our experiences and put them in order”

    So, yeah. A chapter about the neuroscience of trauma.

    Like

  82. “We’ve got to take cotton quick before the land dies.” -The Grapes of Wrath

    Nope, yeah, that definitely makes sense. I think it’s actually a suggestion for the argument I can make when I steal my husband’s t-shirts to wear to bed and he’s all “stop taking my clean clothes! You have your own t-shirts.”

    “No babe, I’m doing it for climate change. It’s the only way to save the earth.”

    Like

  83. From The Big Short: Often as not, he turned up what he called “ick” investments.

    Like

  84. “Packing all of your belongings into a U-Haul and then transporting them across several states is nearly as stressful and futile as trying to run away from lava in swim fins.” Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh

    Like

  85. First closest book was Furiously Happy.

    Next closest book, The Insomnia Solution: “This was a very fertile time for me.” Ummmmm, ok?

    Like

  86. “When the affair finally ended, Maud decided to quell any rumors that had surfaced about her character and get married.” – Petticoats, Patriots, and Partition by Shannon Haire

    Umm.. that really doesn’t sound like me.

    Like

  87. “…know that grasping at this hope is a source of misery that makes a short-term pleasure a long-term hell.” – From Pema Chodron’s “When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times”

    This sentence actually starts at the bottom of page 44. In its entirety it reads:

    “We’ve done it so many times that we know that grasping at this hope is a source of misery that makes a short-term pleasure a long-term hell.”

    Either way… it’s still pretty fuckin’ legit.

    Like

  88. “Hang on,” blurted Harry. “What about my punishment?”…Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. 8^O

    Liked by 1 person

  89. “And when he hugged me I felt a little weird because it felt like a stranger was hugging me.” Page 45 of Bream gives me hiccups by Jesse Eisenberg. No comment necessary.

    Like

  90. “Shipping protection for heavy-duty machinery, large parts and bulky items.” -U-Line Catalog

    Promising, considering I’m at work and this is the only book here besides the tax codes.

    Like

  91. Midway through the concert, he grew giddy, at both the advisory of the band and the crammedness of the space, and began inexpertly missing with JB, the two of them springing off their neighbors and bystanders until everyone was crashing into one another, but cheerfully, like a bunch of tipsy toddlers.
    – A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

    Like

  92. 92
    beautiful.enigma

    “What a difference a day can make.” Fifty shades darker. Well that was a boring one

    Like

  93. “Vogon poetry is, of course, the third worse in the universe”
    -Hitchhiker’s Guide

    Is this saying that I am a Vogon poem and that nobody wants me?

    Liked by 2 people

  94. *absurdity

    Like

  95. “The diagram is a representation of the isometric axes, each labeled to indicate relative position and direction.”– WT-fiddy-F??!!!

    Like

  96. “What is it, Mom?”
    From Welcome to Night Vale.
    That DEFINITELY does not describe my love life D:

    Therapists are human, just like everyone else.
    From When Panic Attacks by David D. Burns, MD
    I don’t think that one is terribly well suited either…. I mean really, I’m definitely not human three-fourths the time (and certainly never before my coffee), so why should I believe that everyone else is?

    Like

  97. “Pb-pb-b-b-b.”

    -Runaway Ralph

    Astoundingly accurate.

    Like

  98. The first book I picked up had a blank page where 45 was…which I think is pretty accurate in regard to my love life. I tried again: “Given how much they’ve invested in protecting whatever’s going on down there, I’d say they believe thy’re way ahead of anyone else.” –The Mask, by Taylor Stevens. I think it makes me sound like a prostitute and I’m okay with that.

    Like

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  99. Mine is pretty disturbing….!!
    “You’d have to be deaf not to hear those stupid girls, moaning and groaning and squealing like boiled kittens….”
    A Tale for the Time Being by Ruth Ozeki.

    Like

  100. I am neither here nor there, but THERE- a little to the left.
    This Is A Book Demitri Marrin
    Fitting. To a T, actually!

    Like

  101. “He would show them!” – S is for Space, Pillar of Fire – by Ray Bradbury.
    What?! That makes no sense!
    Oh, yeah..right. Got it now. Slow on the uptake.

    Like

    quoylette recently posted What?? Twice in one month?!.

  102. “You make a lot more sense now,” Stoke said.

    I suppose I do now that I have a healthy relationship.

    Like

  103. Marion Lake, Kings Count Park, California C 1925

    (From the works of Ansel Adams – its just a book of photos and location titles)

    Like

    Dave recently posted Wordless Wednesday.

  104. From The Way of Shadows–“The man’s a simpleton.”
    How apropos!

    Like

  105. 105
    Boris The Tart

    “The scrape of wood on rock jerked my eyes to a surface demon, it’s gaunt shadow rising up black against the still-darkening horizon.” I’d say the majority of my relationships have been with surface demons.

    Like

  106. “My father would surely have killed me or at least pulled the arms from my body so I couldn’t strike matches anymore.” – Falling Backwards: A Memoir by Jann Arden

    Um….

    Liked by 1 person

  107. The nearest book is a Vietnamese Banh Mi cookbook, and page 45 is a picture of a delicious chicken salad baguette…may actually be accurate.

    Liked by 2 people

  108. “Another alternative to milk, yogurt has good tenderizing properties.” Well, fine, then. (Breadmaker Kitchen Handbook)

    Like

  109. “They had a picture that’d shoot a few steroids into their saggy-ass circulation, and they fucking used it.” Stephen King, Mr. Mercedes. Well then. I wish I’d been reading something a bit more highbrow, cuz this sounds like my lovelife is based on weird porn.

    Like

    educationalmentorship recently posted My Week 74: Canada Goose Coats, Soap Opera Confusion.

  110. “Not enough blood to be worrisome” is the most perfect description of a successful relationship I can think of. But the nearest book to me is a Junie B Jones; she smiled at us with big white teeth. This also works.

    Like

    M.I.L.K. recently posted Parenting Madness: Now With 100% More CRAZY.

  111. “Load the cart, Will Henry,” the doctor directed me,as he, with a firm handbook the old man’s elbow, guided- or forced- Erasmus toward the basement steps.”. The Monstrumologist by Rick Yancy

    This implies I participate in some very interesting activities.

    Liked by 1 person

  112. 112
    Anne Marie Miller

    The fFN screening test detects a protein in the vagina only present of there has been a separation in the amniotic sac from the uterine wall.

    (WIN. MINE SAYS VAGINA)

    Like

  113. “It was a surprise even to him.”

    Like

  114. “You make a lot more sense now,” Stoke said. (from Alterra by Zackary Bonelli)

    Incredibly accurate since I am now in a healthy and happy relationship. Ten years ago that wasn’t true.

    Like

    CrissyMoss recently posted Clouds are on the horizon!.

  115. “Julian’s eyes flashed wide, and his mouth popped open.”
    The Opposite of Everyone by Joshilyn Jackson

    Like

  116. “Hang on,” blurted Harry. “What about my punishment?” -Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

    Liked by 1 person

  117. “It’s embarrassing to pick your life partner according to what television shows he watched as a child, but in a way that’s exactly what I did” (first line on page 45 of “We Need to Talk About Kevin.” Not really relevant to me; my boyfriend never watched Nicktoons growing up, and Nicktoons were my life.

    Like

  118. By myself rafter noon, people shuffle to the dining room, anxious to play away an hour or two.

    Like

  119. Autocorrect sucks lol

    Like

  120. Sometimes she wispered the word “Mama” and saw the face of her mother a hundred times in just one afternoon. – Ehh, no! Well, I didn’t expect The Book Thief to explain any part of my love life, to be fair.

    Like

  121. “You are… you are…” the merchant tried to control himself. “You have nothing… You are nothing”
    Star Wars – The Force Awakens

    Now that’s encouraging… Hurray for the single life! (Please note the sarcasm)

    Like

  122. “She wanted a cigarette.”

    Liked by 1 person

  123. “Your hands are bound, and your feet are hobbled, and you’re leashed to a stake in the ground.” – The Golem and the Jinni

    Fortunately, couldn’t be further from the truth!

    Like

    Taryn recently posted Happy returns.

  124. Book:
    The Sandman Vol. 10
    The Wake
    By Neil Gaiman

    (Yes. This was my closest book.)

    First sentence on page 45:
    “When I first met him… He was the most gallant of lovers.”

    Damn.

    Like

  125. “forgive me!” he said.
    hahahaha – no, I need more – hahahahahahaha .. how true (The Lie Tree, Frances Hardinge)

    Like

  126. From “Supporting Windows 8.1 Exam Ref 70-688”:
    “With the package created, you are now ready for deployment”.

    Sounds kinda kinky. Related: I flunked this exam yesterday.😐

    Liked by 1 person

    NosmoRex recently posted My Acting Résumé.

  127. “Really?” Theo sat up a little in bed.
    ‘The Immortals’ Jordanna Max Brodsky

    Liked by 1 person

    countessofcats recently posted Angel.

  128. “What Bertie needed was a good friend, somebody who thought the same way as he did, and who was neither selfish, like Tofu, nor bossy, like Olive.” Yup, Alexander McCall Smith definitely explains my lack of love life.

    Like

  129. “The claws came again, piercing my haunches.”
    The Serpent of Venice, Christopher Moore.

    Like

    Natalia Maass recently posted How I got into birds (Part 2).

  130. “They say that a leopard cannot change his spots; neither, perhaps, can a gunman scrub his clothing hard enough to wash away the red.”
    Welp.

    Like

  131. “I didn’t succeed in ignoring the sensations that were coming from my arm, but I tried awfully hard.”

    ….. arm?

    Like

  132. My entire bookshelf was closest to me, but the one on top of the pile:
    “warming, drying, and otherwise altering their habits” The View From Lazy Point by Carl Safina
    Next book down in the pile: page 45 is the start of a chapter entitled: Sex, Pregnancy and Making Babies, first line reads “Many of nature’s wildest behaviours concern matters of sex and reproduction.” – Genetics in the Wild – John C. Avise

    Hmmm…there seems to be a theme about altered behaviours here….

    Like

  133. “That seems to be a risky plan, because Jon might adopt the beliefs of those around him and conclude that he is in fact not worthy of unconditional love.”

    From Your Soul’s Plan, peeking in on the soul’s planning meeting of Jon to determine if he planned to contract AIDS during his lifetime (yes), and how doing so could produce soul growth (read the book – it’s amazingly enlightening).

    The only way this relates to my love life is that I planned to meet my husband before I was born, and we shared a mutual agreement that our relationship would support our mutual soul’s growth; and so far, it has.

    Like

    mariner2mother recently posted When We Write, What We Write About.

  134. “Preparing your kitchen for healthy foods requires proper tools”. I’m just going to assume this in a euphemism?

    Like

  135. “ABJURE, RENOUNCE, FORSWEAR, RECANT, RETRACT mean to withdraw one’s word or professed belief.” I had a feeling the dictionary on my desk would provide some good material for this.

    Like

    Julie recently posted Beauty and the beets.

  136. “It’s so effective that I now rely on it almost exclusively when I need to get myself to do something important.”
    Hyperbole and a half, UK paperback.

    Like

  137. I’ve broken with tradition on some points. (Neil Gaiman – Trigger Points)

    Yep, That seems to speak for him, maybe less so for me, but I can work with it.

    Liked by 1 person

  138. End of discussion. –page 45, paperback version, The Most Human Human by Brian Christian

    Like

  139. 139
    Mfmusso@comcast.net

    Spot on:
    “A severe attack usually left the victim completely drained, and often with the lungs still dangerously twitchy.”
    ~Diana Gabaldon, MOBY (aka In My Own Heart’s Blood)

    Liked by 1 person

  140. “Hello friends”, said Princess Winter. No idea how that helps me….

    Like

  141. “Adventurers are extraordinary people, driven by a thirst for excitement into a life that others would never dare lead.” –D&D Player’s Handbook, 5th ed

    Oooh…I can’t wait!

    Like

  142. “I’ve seen a positive benefit from every negative thing that has happened in my life, including every injury” – Ronda Rousey

    Liked by 1 person

  143. “After all that work and getting blown up, I’m exhausted.” – The Martian

    Liked by 1 person

  144. “Chatterton collected his gear from the rear deck and began to suit up while Nagle attempted to hook the wreck.” – from Shadowdivers by Robert Kurson. My love life sounds… interesting?

    Or perhaps “What are you holding in your hands?” from the Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up – which leaves me with even more concerns.

    Like

  145. “There’s still material from that one time in the tile-grouting” I hope not! O.o

    Like

  146. Bahaha: “The ability to determine the superiority of an individual rooster by the quality or rate of his crow allows dominant males to identify other dominant adversaries, while subordinate roosters are able to maintain a ‘respectable’ distance in order to avoid attacks.” Chicken, by Annie Potts

    Like

  147. “How d’you choose them?” – Jurassic Park.

    Like

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  148. “He laughed aloud, a fine bass laugh through which his eyes gleamed merrily and with infinite shrewdness.” – The Wind’s Twelve Quarters

    Like

  149. If you can believe this, the book I picked up has NO PAGE NUMBERS. So I manually counted to 45 and got this:

    “Unable to bring myself to part with it, I would try the item on repeatedly, standing in front of the mirror, but in the end, would be forced conclude that it just didn’t suit me.” – From The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up

    Yeah, that about sums it up.

    Like

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  150. It’s a board book called “Moo!” and it doesn’t have 45 pages. I think that should tell you a lot about my love life.

    Liked by 1 person

  151. As with Figure 2-10a, the mean housing price is the same in each neighborhood

    Like

  152. Ummmmm:
    “A radish-eyed old geezer in hiking books [sic] walked by, pushing a grocery cart. He saw the two of them looking into the cooler and piped, “You catch some fish?”

    I love me a hot geezers in hiking books. Doesn’t everybody?

    Like

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  153. As God is my witness: “‘A true benefactor,’ said the face at the hole.”

    Then I tried Jane Eyre: Nonsense! But you are rather put upon, that’s certain.

    Like

  154. I put out a hand impulsively to touch him, take his arm, but he drew away and stood back, watching impassively as Bobby nailed down the lid.

    I guess this could be taken as suggesting a voyeuristic threesome of some sort. Unfortunately the preceding partial sentence is “the shroud gently up over his wife’s cold face.” Ick

    Like

  155. (From me: this is from The Rocky Mountain Mushroom Book, which is actually a booklet, but it was the closest.) “Head 1/2 to 1 1/2″ wide and 1 1/4 to 2″ high, green and wrinkled; covered with olive-green slime…” (This is me again: this is regarding the Phallus impudicus mushroom, aka Stinkhorn; there is also an interesting picture included. I may have included too many words, or not enough; I was laughing too hard to count.)

    Like

  156. “We went into the bedrooms.” — The Lady in the Lake, by Raymond Chandler

    Because one bedroom is boring.

    Like

  157. He was seated in isolated splendor amid the heavy victorian furnishings in Miss Thelma’s front room. -The Cove, Catherine Coulter

    Like

  158. My book (Naked by Saps Sedaris) is mid-sentence, and that sentence reads, “I watched as he picked it up and leafed through the first few pages before raising his head to search the parking lot, combing the area as if he might spot either a surveillance camera or, preferably, a vanload of naked singers pressing their bare breasts against the window and inviting him to join the fun.”

    Like

  159. David Sedaris… stupid auto correct!

    Like

  160. “What’s more, thankfully, I did not resemble him in any way.” from The Valley of Amazement by Amy Tan.

    Like

  161. “I always wonder if I would have done any of those if Mom and Dad had still been alive.”
    from ‘God, No’ by Penn Jillette.

    Finally. The clue.

    Like

  162. Endolye: “I see,” it said, wiping its forehead with one of its arms, and placing two others where its hips would be, if it had any, which it didn’t, “and why are you doing that?”

    Hmmmm, yeah, maybe so. This is page 45 on my computer, since the book isn’t in print – but I’m assuming it still counts?

    Like

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  163. 163
    Cheryl Blackley

    In Pete’s opinion, kids who wanted a little mental health vacation from their parents also won.

    Finders Keepers – Stephen King

    Like

  164. Music book, Down to the River to Pray page 45 first line, “As I went down to the river to pray, studyin’ about that good ol’ way and who shall wear the robe and crown. Good Lord, show me the way.”

    Like

  165. “In addition to the physical value of things, there are three other factors that add value to our belongings: function, information, and emotional attachment.”

    Like

  166. ‘The noise will wake everyone.’

    (This is hilarious for too many reasons…)

    (From page 45 of The House At The End Of Hope Street by Menna Van Praag.)

    Like

  167. “What could possibly be taking them so long?” Aldwyn asked.
    — The Familiars, Palace of Dreams (my 7-year-old’s book)

    Like

  168. “Use TWEEN ANGST whenever Barry experienced this state, as described by himself or his mother, during his sixth through eighth grade school years.”

    The Coding Manual for Qualitative Researchers (2nd ed.) – Johnny Saldana

    Like

  169. “This will help prevent you from feeling a loss of identity.”
    Page 45, from: Promoting Recovery from First Episode Psychosis. A Guide for Families.

    Like

  170. 170
    Doug in Oakland

    OK, so I am visiting at a friend’s house and the nearest book is an architectural and building trades dictionary, with a bookmark on page 45…
    BOX COLUMN: A type of built up hollow column used in porch construction; it is usually square in form.
    Not even gonna go there… Also, who could eat such a cookie?

    Like

  171. Hook a weight belt to your left ankle and harness it to a weight machine.
    My DH’s book laying on the coffee table: “Cycling Endurance and Speed” by Michael Shermer
    Does this mean one of us is “shackled?”

    Like

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  172. “God’s ways are not man’s ways, God’s reasons not man’s reasons, so when God told Charles Guiteau to shoot the president, Charles Guiteau agreed.”. The Tale of Dueling Neurosurgeons by Sam Kean.

    Like

  173. ‘I’m drinking fucking Dewars and what’s it to you.’

    I think I need a better psychic.

    Like

  174. “By their third day, Isabelle was numb with exhaustion.” (I feel I need to explain that this is from The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah…a book about women WWII)

    Like

  175. No, ma’am, most certainly not.

    From Ira Levin’s Son of Rosemary…..pretty good fit.

    Like

  176. 176
    MeepleMinion

    “She hoped that people couldn’t hear her teeth grinding.” Yep. Pretty much sums it up.

    Like

  177. “This booth is a clusterfuck of bad things.” (book on antiquing)

    Liked by 1 person

  178. I’m not even kidding, the book closest to me was a book about pilates and the first sentence on page 45 says, “Initiate the movement from the pelvis, not the shoulders.” WELL DUH.

    Liked by 1 person

  179. So…there were two books close by. The first line of its 45th page says:

    “Do not fear the ghosts in this house; they are the least of your worries.”

    The second:

    “Some anthropologists also began taking ethnographic photographs, and by the 1890s some began shooting documentary films or recording speech, songs, and music of these so-called vanishing peoples.”

    I’m not sure which is better/worse.

    Like

  180. “I don’t think you can help me there, but thank you,” I answered.
    Page 45 from Crouching Vampire, Hidden Fang (an unfortunate line to be sure but not exactly wrong.🙂 )

    Like

  181. well, the closest book is “let’s Pretend This Never Happened” – (currently about to start page 265) but since THAT one’s been done . . . the second closest book says:
    “Here are some general thoughts to keep in mind when you are approaching treatment of a resistant pathogen” –Herbal Antiobiotics Natural Alternantives For Treating Drur-Resistant Bacteria
    the third closest book is about dog cancer, soooo . . . can i just go swoop one offa the bookshelf ?

    Like

  182. “Evelyn opened her purse and gave Mrs. Threadgoode one of the pimento cheese sandwiches she had wrapped in waxed paper and brought from home.”

    Huh.

    Like

  183. “‘Listen, I don’t want to pry,’Quentin said, ‘but I’m assuming you have some secret magical way of dealing with the negative health effects of all those cigarettes.'”-The Magicians, Lev Grossman. No cigarettes or magic here, but there were several other books on the table.
    This one worked better.
    “Bobby apparently wasn’t the dodgeball winner often, because when they congratulated him, he didn’t seem to know how to respond.”- Games Creatures Play
    Yep, sounds about right.

    Like

    kstewand4cats recently posted Sometimes Black Outs Work.

  184. Oh, and it would make a bit more sense, I suppose, if I told you what they were! The first was the first line of Neil Gaiman’s poem “The Hidden Chamber” in his book Fragile Things. The second was an anthropology textbook called “Anthropology: The Human Challenge.”

    Like

  185. “I hate my job.” The Mark of Athena, Rick Riordan.

    Like

  186. “She pivoted and walked, back straight, iron grey waves glinting in the sun, along the path of light.”

    Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

    Just received my package of the first four of the series, purchased on half.com, haven’t started them yet, need to finish my current read first (The Martian, can’t see the movie until I’m done!).

    Liked by 1 person

  187. “The cemetery was large.” I’m not sure what this means.

    Like

  188. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets: “Errol!” Said Ron, taking the limp owl from Percy and extracting a letter from under its wing.

    Like

  189. It just didn’t occur to me that we wouldn’t be able to get out at the other end.

    Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

    Like

  190. “They sit on their beds and then take off their shoes. Their shoes are worn right through. So are mine.”
    That about sums it up! It’s been a good life but surely am worn out now!! lol

    Like

  191. “Well, Baby is completely out of her mind,” I overheard Isabelle saying to the social worker.
    (From Lullabies for Little Criminals by Heather O’Neill)

    Like

  192. “REI gear and clothing give you the performance and reliability you need for the outdoor adventures you love.”

    I’m in a store, so I had to go with the nearest package label. It’s for down-filled booties. That’s good, right?

    Like

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  193. On first sight it looked distressingly forlorn, huddled there in the laps of the great Olympics,

    The Egg and I by Betty MacDonald

    Like

  194. “I used to be a boxed-mix cornbread addict.” Oh dear… :s

    Like

  195. “How to get it down.”

    Yes. This describes my love life. I’d love to learn a simpler, less…invasive way. And if I’m not involved at all- even better.

    Like

  196. “I never saw fields of such puny and unpromising looking corn as in this town.” Oh, good lord that’s funny. And sad. And funny again.

    Like

  197. “There is such a thing as having your period too often.”

    Like

  198. “Five minutes passed; the train still hadn’t left the station.”

    Like

  199. “The final autopsy diagnoses were the following: AIDS with opportunistic pneumonia (Pneumocystis jirovecii), multifocal leukoencephalopathy, mild cerebrocortical atrophy, B cell lymphoma of the brain, streptococcal pyelonephritis, and opportunistic infection of the small and large intestines (cytomegalovirus).”
    From The Nature of Diseases. Hmm. Rather depressing. Let’s try the 2nd nearest book.
    “And nobody said anything?” From Magic Dreams by Ilona Andrews (granted – I had to count pages as it’s on my kindle). Hmm. Clearly rereading books isn’t helping my love life either.

    Like

  200. “Lieutenant Awn disliked her”
    (First sentence that starts on p. 45)

    Like

  201. “These will be of youngish middle age, with nothing aside from the REEK OF WRONGNESS to give away the fact that they report directly to the DARK LORD”

    Welp.

    Like

  202. “Catch that cat! roared the king”. And ironically I’ve (genuinely) just come out as a lesbian…

    Like

  203. “When the Chiefs made the last agreement with the government, it told the people that the government would always pay in gold or silver, now they heard that it would pay in paper, and the Pawnees did not want that.” from Some Things Are Not Forgotten.
    No, we do not……

    Like

  204. 204
    Canadian Natasha

    “The Priest?” he said dryly.
    -The Bloodbound by Erin Lindsey

    Well this is awkward. And no, definitely not.O_o

    Like

  205. “Move it or lose it, Rover!”

    Sadly, this sounds about right.

    Liked by 1 person

  206. “I’m looking through Mia’s baby book when it hits me: in second grade she had an imaginary friend named Chloe.”

    What the fresh hell.😄

    Like

  207. He repeated: “Friend, what is it that torments you?”

    Yup.

    Like

  208. I don’t want to say, because it actually is about sex lol. Take into account, I’m reading BLACK DAGGER BROTHERHOOD, so vampire p0rn basically.

    “Oh my god, I’m going to come-I’m going to come-“. 😃😳

    Like

  209. ‘Unlike “tactical” strikes aimed at an enemy’s military forces, “strategic” bombing focused on transportation systems and factories, the economic infrastructure necessary for waging war.’

    Command and Control by Eric Schlosser

    This explains so much.

    Liked by 1 person

  210. “He was a disgrace to his title”

    Not a dude though.

    Like

  211. If he fails to get anywhere, it will make the fall more jarring.

    oddly appropriate.

    Like

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  212. In the course of these duties he also learned, in an entirely informal way, to fly.

    Liked by 2 people

  213. “I don’t believe the fear of pregnancy was the main block to female sexual participation.”

    You have no idea how true that actually is.

    Like

  214. “His body still hadn’t been found.”

    Yep. That about sums it up. From All-Night Party: The Women of Bohemian Greenwich Village and Harlem, by Andrea Barnet

    Liked by 1 person

  215. “Well, well,” I said, “perhaps you have – still I don’t see them”; and I handed him the paper without additional remark, not wishing to ruffle his temper; but I was much surprised at the turn affairs had taken; his ill humor puzzled me – and, as for the drawing of the beetle, there were positively no antennae visible, and the whole did bear a very close resemblance to the ordinary cuts of a death’s-head.”

    Either this doesn’t really work with Poe, or I have invisible antennae. I always suspected as much.

    Like

  216. 216
    ocularnervosa

    Technically the book nearest me is the World Atlas and page 45 is a geographical map of Arizona. There are no sentences on it. Hu, my love life is a vast desert, that’s so accurate it’s spooky.

    Like

  217. “As we drove off, she leaned against the ramp and lit a cigarette.”
    Yep, that’s about the right amount of What-the-Fucked-Uppedness.

    Like

  218. “Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the Universe.”

    …Sounds promising…

    Liked by 2 people

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  219. “But you’re not good enough.”

    Knew it.

    Like

  220. “Her argument was radical enough” from Notorious RBG (about Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg

    Like

  221. “Elizabeth, having rather expected to affront him, was amazed at his gallantry; but there was a mixture of sweetness and archness in her manner which made it difficult for her to affront anybody; and Darcy had never been so bewitched by any woman as he was by her.”

    Hm.😄

    Like

  222. “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz: “Use white magic, beginning with yourself.”

    Like

  223. … another coin, which Kennerly caught on the fly. “Surely. You stayin’ a little?” — maybe The Dark Tower was the wrong book to pick up for a heartfelt love life? But at least I’m getting paid in this version.

    Like

  224. “During the next year or two he had turned up fairly often, coming unexpectedly after dusk, and going off without warning before sunrise.”
    The Fellowship of the Ring🙂

    Like

  225. Nor were her clothes the kind of rough-and-tumble play clothes that the Whitshank children wore. From A Spool of Blue Thread by Anne Tyler. Guess it depends on what kind of play clothes we’re talking about!

    Like

  226. Clouds rose in peaks and valleys like vast mountains, an entire realm of slow grace and breathtaking beauty.

    Academ’s Fury by Jim Butcher

    Like

  227. “I was eight weeks pregnant”

    SO not possible in my love life right now.

    Liked by 1 person

  228. “In 1992, the television show Dateline NBC aired footage from inside a garment factory in Bangladesh that featured a Walmart production line where kids as young as seven were operating machines and trimming garments.”

    … I got nothin’. Maybe I should have gone with one of my other school books….

    Like

  229. from “William” by E.H. Young; “Oh, did you?” sorta sums THAT up…

    “Unhallowed Ground” by Mel Starr–‘I made no reply to these pleas for some minutes’

    Not going there….beg all you want, baby, Im not giving in. nope.

    Like

    Judyt recently posted Charlie and his new 5 minute friend.

  230. From my Kindle: “I got the whole thing so mixed up that I decided that it would be a sound scheme for me to stop on in America for a bit instead of going back and having long cosy chats about the thing with aunt.” Much more accurate. (My Man Jeeves)

    Like

  231. “She survived, but another nun who was put in her room afterward came down with smallpox, went confluent, and died.” This can’t be good. From The Demon in the Freezer by Richard Preston.

    Like

  232. “It was dark space to fly in–a bad place for seeing who was getting close to you, but a good spot for a quiet rendezvous with people whose looks you already knew.” (Star Trek #18: My Enemy, My Ally)

    Like

  233. ‘Usually it was like spillage – cold and heavy, slippery and gray – but once in a while some stars had the nerve to rise and float, if only for a few minutes’
    From ‘The Book Thief’
    Hahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  234. “In the gallery beyond: more dead” (The Goldfinch).

    Like

    Eric recently posted 40,000 words, but I forgot the original order..

  235. “We were informed that Felipe could never again come to America — unless we got married.” (Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert)

    Like

  236. The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure. – Joseph Campbell in Brené Brown’s “Rising Strong”

    Like

  237. I have a shelf full of books to my right. So I held my arm out straight and picked the one most aligned with me.

    “What makes you think you’ll outlive me, you dirty dog?” (The Cat Who Sang for the Birds.)

    Doesn’t seem very promising.

    Like

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  238. “He fell over onto the floor before me unconscious with a thump.”

    Uprooted by Naomi Novik.

    Like

  239. Keep them too warm and potatoes’ll sprout or go bad.( In search of perfection by Heston Blumenthal.)

    Like

  240. “Alii possunt, alii nequeunt.”
    Whatever that means. It’s from a Latin version of Winnie the Pooh that I forgot to give my daughter the last time she was in town.
    The next sentence mentions Heffelumps though, so that sounds about right

    Like

  241. “The satisfactions and pleasures of life consisted less in doing them than in having ticked them off the list.”
    All that I am – Anna Funder
    SCARILY TRUE!

    Like

  242. “The long-nosed monkey of Borneo must be skinned out quite to the tip while the specimen is fresh, or it will dry up horribly.”

    I’m scared! Lol

    Like

  243. Forgot to mention.it’s a taxidermy book😂

    Like

  244. “You already know how to handle that.”

    Like

  245. Yet I had barely any information myself, when it came down to it.

    Like

  246. “That little slanty-eyed butt-wiggler.” Enders Game. Orson Scott Card, Signed Author’s Definitive Edition.
    Wow, just wow.

    Like

  247. “It is tempting to regard this period as a grim catalogue of cruelty and abuse, but it is worth reminding ourselves that not every good-time girl came to a bad end.” – from a history of prostitution in London. . . wish I had been reading ANYTHING else

    Like

  248. Shadow washed his face with the rest room’s liquid soap, then he lathered his face and shaved.

    Like

  249. “Milankovich used his comprehensive mathematical and astronomical expertise to calculate changes in the passage of the earth around the sun and the rotation around its own axis.” From Quicksand by Henning Mankell. I’ve not got to p45 yet, but the book is the authors story of dealing with his own mortality after being diagnosed with cancer, so I really wasn’t hopeful – this, though, was unexpected.

    Like

  250. “Most people would be alarmed if a stranger pounced into the passenger seat of their car without invitation and made themselves comfortable.” Really not sure how to interpret that.

    Like

  251. Page 45 is blank.

    Nothing has ever been more appropriate.

    Like

  252. “Their only hope is to come with me.” ~Rick Riordan The Red Pyramid I suppose it all depends on how you interpret that 6th word.

    Liked by 1 person

  253. …Oh, no… the book nearest to me is a history book.

    “Holmes knew- everyone knew- that as skyscrapers soared and the stockyards expanded their butchery, the demand for workers would remain high, and that workers and their supervisors would seek to live in the city’s suburbs, with their promise of smooth macadam, clean water, decent schools, and above all air untainted by the stench of rotting offal from the Union Yards.”

    As much as “stockyards”, “high demand for workers” and “stench of rotting offal” are all things you don’t want associated with your love life, the worst bit is “Holmes”. It’s referring to H. H. Holmes, the serial killer who built a murder palace in Chicago in the 1890s.

    Maaaaaybe I just shouldn’t date?

    Liked by 2 people

  254. “Looking at me doubtfully, she resumed walking” Yup.

    Like

    theycallmetater recently posted Tater’s Take on Some News of the Week.

  255. Uh. I’m reading NeuroTribes (a book on autism) and got “There are thin cracks in the lid of an antique camphorwood chest at the foot of Craig and Shannon’s bed, because the chest made a perfect launching pad for experimental flights towards their mattress.”
    Yes. I believe I can fly. And am also luging hard enough to snort right now.

    Like

  256. “But she crept out of the room, and was very much relieved to find an excuse for doing it.”
    from A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. I’ve been reading it to my daughter. But also an apt depiction in this context. Ha.

    Like

  257. “The Cornish guardian of the bees.” Figures. My sex life isn’t even a complete sentence! That stings. #sorrynotsorry

    Like

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  258. “Part of the funerary ritual required the creation of ancestor tablets for a deceased emperor and empress.” From “worshiping the ancestors Chinese commemorative portraits” Huh.

    Like

  259. God not only creates the brightness of day, He also creates the darkness of night.

    Like

  260. 260
    butterflyinspiration2015

    First attempt, “Blogging for Writers”- a reference book. “In the welcome section, you’re encouraged to “Customize your site”, as well as “Write your first blog post, and “Manage widgets or menus”. Second attempt, I used my favourite read, “Wild” by Cheryl Strayed: “The words are purposes. The words are maps.”~ Adrienne Rich, in Cheryl Strayed “Wild.

    Like

  261. “I’d gone to their show to prove that I was ok with the way things turned out.” (I’m always the bridesmaid) Twice Tempted: A night Prince Novel by Jeanine Frost.

    Like

  262. “And so on.” Black Girl Dangerous by Mia McKenzie.

    That’s actually … pretty accurate.

    Like

  263. I’m in the middle of three books:
    Infinite home by Kathleen Alcott- “The kid always said hello.”
    The Marriage of Opposites by Alice Hoffman- “…and in the end you’ll become used to him.”
    Bed of Roses by Nora Roberts- “Only fourtynine to go”
    Not sure they make sense, been married since 1984 and together since 1980.
    What do you think?

    Like

  264. “Jeanette Nord’s cousin knew someone who’d been whacked so often in the head with her own arithmetic stick that she’d suffered brain damage and permanent baldness, according to Jeanette.”

    Wally Lamb’s She’s Come Undone.

    Like

  265. “‘Kunyant has a baby in her tummy,’ my mother told me.” (Slave: My True Story by Mende Nazer)

    Oh, dear! I surely hope not!

    Like

  266. “Catching termites is slightly more difficult” hmm, sounds about right…

    Like

  267. sheesh, my pocket Constitution was the nearest book…can tell there is no love life…

    “On September 25, 1789, Congress transmitted to the state legislatures twelve proposed amendments of which the first two deal with Congressional representation and Congressional pay.

    Like

  268. The book (Death Investigator’s Handbook, vol. 3) starts with pg.649, so I added 45 to 649 (already this seems accurate)
    Page 694 is blank.

    NAILED IT

    Liked by 1 person

  269. “In that case, it was perfectly acceptable to relegate them to the role of “deaf-mute orphan” and “houseplant’ whenever you made up games.”
    This is eerily accurate.
    The book is “Hypocrite In a Pouffy White Dress -Tales of Growing Up Groovy and Clueless” by Susan Jane Gilman.

    Like

  270. “For moment it was as if a cloud had dimmed the sun.” The Desert and the Blade, by S.M. Stirlng.

    Like

  271. “Either that, or she was suffering from sleep deprivation.”

    Huh.

    Liked by 1 person

  272. Their mother, however, had gone and arranged a marriage for their odd older son.

    Like

  273. “But now–oh, now, all is lost: everything is lost, and there is no help more!”

    ….thats a damn shame.

    Like

  274. Coach: “Ah, gee, Ed, I don’t know”; we’ve had so many good boys. (this seems to be strangely appropriate).

    Like

  275. Runaways Vol. 2 – “Old Lace, watch.”

    Makes no sense. That makes sense.

    Like

  276. “How…How dare you call me a stalker! If you ween’t a demon, do you think I’d even dream of hanging around you, you Devil Welfare King?!”-The Devil Is A Part-Timer book 3

    Like

  277. Mr. Brown Can Moo! Can You? Doesn’t have 45 pages.

    Even still, I think it says something completely dark, twisted, and inappropriate about my life…

    Like

  278. “They also liked to tell prisoners of war they were going to straight up raped them” from page 45 of The De-Textbook. I never win these games.

    Like

  279. “What I tell you in the darkness, speak in the light; and what you hear whispered in your ear, proclaim upon the housetops.”

    I’m batting 1,000 today… There’s also my own journal next to me, but I’m afraid of what would be at the top of page 45. O.o

    Like

  280. “On which world can they be found?”
    The closest book to both my roommate and me.

    Like

  281. “Only 49 more to go.” This makes my love life sound much more ambitious than it actually is…

    Like

  282. Anne stepped quickly into the dairy and can’t back with her bag.

    Like

  283. Anne stepped quickly into the dairy and can’t back with her bag.

    Like

  284. “In fact, I recall a fair amount of initial reluctance on their part–overcome by my successful begging.” for me.

    “This was greeted with good-natured laughter.” for my husband.

    Like

  285. My WIP (cause I have no time for anything else 😭):
    The woman’s face paled and her head began to sway to and fro, the word ‘no’ forming on her lips.

    Yeah, sounds aboit right.

    Like

  286. I thought I would watch for the count, for there is something going on.

    Like

  287. “The mass on sailboats can also serve as an effective mount.”

    Like

  288. “Didn’t touch anything at all.”

    Well, THAT’S depressing!

    Like

  289. “Do you recycle your empty soda cans?”

    Really? A guilt trip?

    Like

  290. 290
    Amanda Hanrahan

    A puzzling paralysis! Oh how apt this is!

    Like

  291. Curiously opened the nearest book (Franny and Zooey by JD Salinger) and page 45 is blank. Depressingly accurate.

    Like

  292. “For a few seconds, no one breathed.” from Riders by Veronica Rossi

    Liked by 1 person

  293. Apologies if someone has already posted this, but it’s worth noting that the 45-minute mark of the Furiously Happy audiobook says something along the lines of:

    “So it’s bestiality AND necrophilia? And a three-way, I think?”

    I’m DYING!

    Liked by 1 person

  294. Curiously opened the nearest book (Franny and Zooey by JD Salinger) and page 45 is blank. Depressingly accurate. Went to the second closest (Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov) and got “But for almost three weeks I had been interrupted in all my pathetic machinations”

    Like

  295. “thought to have died out sixty-five million years ago”
    thanks Jurassic Park…

    Like

  296. “Jan had a child, baby Lisa, but didn’t know who the father was.”
    Honestly, from a book called “The Murder Room,” this is more uplifting than I expected.

    Like

  297. Dune: “Duncan, the moral,” Paul said, “and Gurney the valorous”
    I dont know how I feel about this.

    Like

  298. Am I the only one who thought that cookie was going to have a vagina painted on it?

    Like

  299. From page 46 of the e-ARC of The Infidel Stain by M.J. Carter…..”You need me.”
    I win!

    Like

  300. How did you know Father wouldn’t destroy you?

    Like

  301. My nearest book was an old journal, so I thought this should be interesting… “The elevator kept going up and every time it stopped I worried it was going to open to the orcas again” 😆😆… Then for good measure actually grabbed the nearest book, which was “Almost Somewhere: 28 days on the John Muir trail”: “how old are you?” 😬

    Like

  302. “Tell me everything. Leave nothing out.”
    from the mass market paperback of The Outstreched Shadow by Mercedes Lackey & James Mallory

    Liked by 1 person

  303. “For that, we thank you,” remarked the priest in a condescending tone.
    ~ Canticle by R.A. Salvatore

    Like

  304. From Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi……..”I can trace my nightly tremors back to the time when, in my sophomore year, while studying at a horrible school in Switzerland, I was summoned in the middle of a history lesson with a stern American teacher to the principal’s office. ” huh, that can’t be good🙂

    Like

  305. As for me, I’d come across two people so far, and exactly both of them had wanted nohing to do wit me.- Dorothy Must Die, by Danielle Paige.
    Ahem. Ha ha ha.

    Like

  306. “Aunt Petunia found a few moldy blankets in the second room and made up a bed for Dudley on the moth eaten sofa.”

    So accurate, its scary!

    Like

  307. “Scratch scratch scratch”

    Well alright then..

    Like

  308. “As long as the ties that bind us together are stronger than those that would tear us apart, all will be well”

    Awww….from Just for Today

    Like

  309. “She’s still strapped in” says the other one of sergeants people. From The Girl with all the Gifts

    I wish.

    Like

  310. No book handy but thanks for the link to The Oatmeal. Lost a couple hours there but saw it’s going to be ok which left me crying. It’s true though – sometimes you need someone to tell you and sometimes you need to be the one telling and I think that is something that you’ve made the point of as well but damn it is easy to forget sometimes.

    Like

  311. Postcards by E. Annie Proulx: “Don’t be embarrassed, honey, I hate to say it too. ‘Prosthesis.’ Sounds like a nasty poison snake.

    Like

  312. “I’m sorry, sister.”

    Well, that explains everything.

    Like

  313. The pain in my head and legs dulls, and becomes distant. – In a Dark Dark Wood by Ruth Ware

    Like

  314. “Saying he’ll grow up to be a demon just because his dad became one is like saying a mouse with its tail cut off will give birth to tailless mice”. – Good Omens
    I don’t know what this means for my love life, but I don’t think it’s good.

    Like

  315. This medallion graced the dining-room floor of a house of the Roman period (second century AD) uncovered in the excavation on the site of the former Diana Theatre.

    from Alexandria Rediscovered by Jean-Yves Empereur.

    Well, I did once tell my kid that once I get out of South Texas, I hope to do some volunteer work on archaeological digs and that, if I ever get married again, I’d be likely to meet my husband somewhere like that.

    Like

    pepperjackcandy recently posted My Travel Memories: Portland, Maine.

  316. This was my new reality, and I had better learn to deal or the tears would never stop flowing. Alice in Zombieland, Gena Showalter

    Hm, this doesn’t bode well.

    Like

  317. She took a few steps back and then cut down another corridor.
    from Simple Genius by David Baldacci

    Like

  318. “I was back in the BAIT Lab, waiting for Dr. Morrow, surrounded by pulsing, luminescent ectoplasm.” from The New and Improved Romie Futch by Julia Elliott.

    Like

  319. Hmm, the nearest book to me was a whole stack of books, of/about Greek mythology. Let’s see if any of them explains my lack of a love life…

    “As seen above, Styx is the first to accept this offer; accompanying her are her children Zelos, Nike, Kratos and Bia.”

    Well, it’s sufficiently ominous, but…too many kids. I don’t think it explains anything. Let’s try the next one…which is actually Volume II of the same book…

    “But against this possibility is the fact that the shield-relief offers no sign of a woman or child, although there is certainly room for them.”

    Closer, but I don’t really feel any wiser on the subject of my love life…

    Let’s try the next book in the stack, a copy of the Iliad.

    “By this time the heralds in the city were bringing the lambs for the sacrifice, and the generous wine in a goatskin.”

    Ominous, but too much wine. Next!

    “The rocks clashed together as it passed, but only the tip of its tail was caught.”

    Um, does that mean I should be glad I don’t have a love life?

    One last book in the stack, a different copy of the Iliad. (Yes, I have two different translations of the Iliad sitting right next to me. And another one in the other room.)

    “There is the heat of Love, the pulsing rush of Longing, the lover’s whisper, irresistible — madness to make the sanest man go mad.”

    That’s definitely talking about someone else’s love life! (Whoever it is, it sounds torrid but not terribly successful. I’m glad it’s not mine.)

    Actually, in retrospect, I think this stack of books in itself is all the explanation I needed…

    Like

  320. dance up and down like unsteady puppets.

    That’s the exact way I get my groove on, so this is pretty accurate.

    Like

  321. 321
    Terrilynn Bringiton Dale

    Without oars you cannot cross in a boat~ Japanese proverb Certainly explains the last four sexless years of my existence. No oars. Huh? Euphemistically speaking this is spot on.

    Like

  322. “Hold your tongue, Miss!” Oh, drat.

    Like

  323. “Decreasing is a method of reducing the number of stitches to narrow a piece if knitting” I’m not quite sure what this means, but I’m sure it is a very deep metaphor.

    Like

  324. The shock catapulted him into silence, a second stretched to infinity, as the room held its breath, waiting for the apoplectic shrieking to begin. (A God In Ruins) Sounds about right.

    Like

  325. “We were informed that Felipe could never again come to America – unless we got married.” (Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert)
    If you substitute vagina for America, this is dire. (Also, very Catholic.)

    Like

  326. If you find something new but want it to look old, you need a technique for distressing.
    Well that seems rather rude!

    Like

  327. “She’d never been alone except in her cell, and that didn’t feel like being alone because she knew there were girls in the other cells all around her and the keepers were always present and always checking on her.”

    Vision in Silver – Anne Bishop

    This is a terrible game.

    Like

  328. 328
    RavenclawRattler

    “No hint of any character, or even any info to keep the plot moving.” Sad, but true.

    Liked by 1 person

  329. “It just didn’t occur to me that we wouldn’t be able to get out at the other end” – Harry Potter & the Goblet of Fire

    Bwahahahahahaha

    Liked by 1 person

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  330. “He had seen it blow smoke when it was upset, but there was never a hint of flame.” Bahhaha!

    Like

  331. “Though to be fair, it was less a laugh and more of a cackle.” From Amy Poehler’s Yes Please

    Like

  332. But the rooms were all vacant. No sign he’d been here at all. -Mari mancusi, scorched

    Like

  333. “Let’s do it!” — Fahrenheit 451.
    That’s surprisingly literal and relevant. I’ll take it.

    Like

  334. When I hesitated, he added, “And why do you seem to have a hellhound as a partner”. Bite ME

    Like

  335. Since page 45 says “Finally, she put twenty feather quilts on top of the mattresses.” I think that page 42 should be used seeing as 42 is the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, The Universe, and Everything…in which case I get “Once upon a time, in a faraway place, there lived a handsome prince.” Yup, my prince is long gone and was too far away to begin with…sounds about right.

    Liked by 1 person

  336. “Arlene’s warning still hung in the air, the image of her twisted, pained face burned into Sarah’s brain.”

    I don’t like this game. LOL

    Like

  337. “I suppose every single one of us that comes here, knowing that his work will mean contact with extraterrestrials, thinks that he will be an exception, that he’ll find a way to make friends with at least some of them.”

    That just about sums it up, doesn’t it?

    Liked by 1 person

    Elizabeth recently posted Seeing Everything As Art.

  338. 338
    Fallenthropy

    Is there a reason you take the bus? – no idea what this says about my love life but it made me laugh.

    Like

  339. “Are you one?”
    (“I don’t think so.”)

    From: Adam Nergal Darski – Confessions of a heretic

    I really do not know what to make of this.

    Like

  340. 340
    Stephanie Sogg

    ” ‘Careful, there, boy, don’t drop it.’ ”

    Augusten Bourroghs, ‘A Wolf at the Table’.

    Like

  341. 341
    Five Bad Dogs

    “You are heavy in thoughts.” 🤔
    (Shantaram, kindle version)

    Like

  342. We did this on Christmas day. My sister-in-law got a page with a picture of the entire Chicago Blackhawks team. I had a book on dog training. You can imagine the results of that one. We laughed and laughed.

    Liked by 1 person

  343. “I took a nap.”
    from ‘This Is Getting Old ‘ by Susan Moon. ‘Nuff said.

    Liked by 1 person

  344. 344
    Erica Zamora

    It was not about public accolades.

    From “Season of Life” by Jeffery Marx.

    Liked by 1 person

  345. “You’ll get it next time.” from Work by Sarah Jane Barnett. Oh. Dear.

    Liked by 1 person

  346. “What are you here for?” from King Me (poetry) by Roger Reeves.

    I have, indeed, been wondering this.

    Liked by 1 person

  347. I’m really enjoying this creative time right now where women are speaking about their stories.

    Like

  348. Somebody left a book of erotic bookplates outside my house. So basically it’s no words and just a bunch of dicks. Not sure what that says about me.

    Like

    Adrasteia recently posted Ghosts.

  349. ” It is tempting to believe that the author’s impersonal reference to the corpses belie some sense of discomfort with his activities.” From STIFF by Mary Roach…who is also 50 kinds of fabulous.

    Like

  350. “It’s for the administrators to decide.” I feel like i just asked a magic 8 ball!

    Liked by 1 person

  351. “Do not fight him, and do not think he means to murder you when he takes you in his arms.”

    Really, that is the first full sentence on page 45 of Alice Hoffman’s ‘The Marraige of Opposites’.
    Well, okay, I won’t.

    Liked by 1 person

  352. ” I won’t even take it out of the box and what’s the point in receiving something I’ll only have to send back?” Let’s explore diabetes with owls

    Like

  353. “Spit it out right now.” from To Kill A Mockingbird (which truly was the book nearest me when I read this post, and which I did promptly upon reading the line.)

    Liked by 1 person

  354. “But I’d grown that mustache as soon as I’d been able, and it hadn’t left my lip since.” (The Swan Gondola)

    I’m a single woman.

    Liked by 1 person

  355. All my books are on my Kindle, which has no pages.

    Huh.

    So this really does work.

    Liked by 1 person

  356. “Obviously you are making excellent progress.” <– really? doesn’t seem like it…
    “These upper class women were clad in provocative dress, acted with a lack of decorum, and departed radically from the image of modesty that epitomized the traditional roles for wives and widows.” <– hah!

    Like

    Tanya recently posted Exploring my stories.

  357. I have a launcher that does a manual install and run of fixxer.exe, which would then spread on its own from there; that is, I use the botnet version of fixxer to install the worm version of fixxer.

    Not sure at all, but I think it’s saying that one of us is a virus. This does not sound unreasonable.

    Like

  358. Nick stumbled to his knees and planted both hands on the wet beach, clutching the sand to steady himself. This is from The Child Thief by Brom.His illustrations are wonderful, this is a very different version of Peter Pan.I loved his book Krampus,too.
    m

    Like

  359. The tragic irony of cholera is that the disease has a shockingly sensible and low-tech cure: water.

    Um, no. Let’s try that again.

    “One would feel easier about it”, said Sir Kevin, “if the pursuit itself were less … selfish.”

    I don’t think I like this game.

    Like

  360. 360
    Steve the Fan

    “That’s a death sentence too, in addition to everything else we’re planning to do to him.”
    Neil Gaiman, ‘How the Marquis Got His Coat Back’
    Thanks, Neil, that’s just great.

    Like

  361. “Sudoku is dangerous stuff.” That EXACTLY describes my frickin love life. Amazing but true.
    Dang.

    Like

  362. “What is this stuff?”
    Tia replied “He doesn’t know. He doesn’t even know what to call these things until he labels them in his sleep.”
    Turbulence, Samit Basu. Eerily correct.

    Like

  363. […] the Jesus-beach-footprint-in-the-sand poem, except with less Jesus and more bleeding.” Huh. … Continue reading → […]

    Like

  364. “She opened her mouth to give the Red sister a chance to defend herself at the same instant Nynaeve opened hers, yet Elayne spoke first.”
    ~”The Path of Daggers” by Robert Jordan
    Sounds spicy!!

    Like

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  365. He tried to get up, but the world suddenly spun around him, and he fainted.

    Like

  366. 366
    Judi Waldeis

    “A bundle of fur and cloth breaks down our door, and I can see two eyes, brown and reddened at the rims, and I think of the cucumber martini with the chili rim I drank with John the night we decided to split.”
    This is from the short story The Snowstorm, in the book After the Gazebo, by Jen Knox. She just so happens to be my most favorite daughter-in-law!

    Like

  367. ” Some cats are special because they were exactly what someone needed at exactly the time they needed it: a soulmate, a companion, a distraction, a friend. ”
    I have to include the next line because it’s so true. “And some cats are just plain crazy.”
    From Dewey’s Nine Lives

    Like

  368. “Far as I know, nothing leaks in there.” Kingfisher, Patricia A. McKillip.

    Like

  369. Nearest book is “Furiously Happy” cuz I just finished reading it…

    Like

  370. In the afternoon, Aunt-Sister brought some rice cakes and broth off a chicken.

    Like

  371. “Over time the pressure builds and builds, until the plates slip, releasing huge amounts of energy in the form of earthquakes.” – The 5th Wave, Rick Yancey. **I looked at two others but neither one made any sense.😉

    Like

  372. “Slowly his hands relaxed, and he began to tremble.” – The Fellowship of the Ring. Could be sexy if it wasn’t about Bilbo Baggins.

    Like

  373. “Neil went over and kissed his wife hello.” Not really sure how that applies to me, since my husband is Mark.

    Like

  374. “Bird shot'” said Black Mabel and collapsed on the tarp draped over the corner that had once contained a fireplace. Meh.

    Like

  375. “She asked Brenda instead of one of her siblings because she didn’t want to have to lie about where she would spend the money.” I feel like I should thank Brenda for being there in my time of need, even though I don’t know a Brenda.

    Like

  376. “In came a skinny Asian kid.” Seriously that’s it

    Like

  377. ‘She felt the anguish of any mother unable to stop her child’s torment.’ – Oh good god. Now I want to cry.

    Like

  378. Couldn’t be more true if I had written it myself. Paper back copy of the Martian. “After all that work and getting blown up, I’m exhausted.”

    Liked by 1 person

  379. “Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.”

    haha. from The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy. hmmmm I dig it.

    Like

  380. Platelets usually return to normal shortly after the drug is discontinued.
    Closest book- Merck Veterinary Manual

    Like

  381. I work in a major university library. The first book I picked up was in Cyrillic. I have no clue what it says.

    That’s a good explanation of my love life.

    Like

    Christopher recently posted All Together Now..

  382. OMG – This could NOT be more perfect!
    “I asked myself again, What had I find to deserve this?” (Michael Moore – Here Comes Trouble)

    Like

  383. “In elemental form, phosphorus is nasty stuff, particularly the white phosphorus allotrope, discovered in 1669 in Hamburg and responsible in 1943 for helping burn that city to the ground in one of the great firestorms of World War II (magnesium incendiary bombs leveled the buildings; white phosphorus burned the people driven outside).”

    Terrible… I’m just going to give up now.

    Like

  384. “In one case his class met in an outdoor ditch that had been turned into an air raid shelter”

    Like

  385. “I’ve got a job at two, we’ll have to make it snappy.”

    Like

  386. “By the end of the day, his gait was almost normal and the questions were coming from him.”
    the enchanted life of adam hope by rhonda riley.

    i don’t know if i should be pleased with myself or embarrassed.

    Like

  387. “So she washed floors that didn’t need to be washed.”

    Like

  388. “Life is a series of experiences.” From page 45 of The Mayo Clinic Handbook for Happiness – A 4-Step Plan for Resilient Living. Love is definitely a series of experiences, which I am very happy to go through with my husband!

    Liked by 1 person

  389. “It was not merely the extraordinary beauty of the face that had impressed itself on her memory, but the other’s expression: livid, yet strangely exhilarated.” The Cuckoo’s Calling, my nearest book happens to be in on my phone in ibooks😉

    Like

    Nichole recently posted Ain’t Nobody Got Time for That: Laundry .

  390. “Of course you can have whiskey. I’d like it if you did”

    Not sure if this is hilarious or terrifying.

    Like

  391. Maggie moved in tandem with her uncle: He put the gear into park.

    from an ARC of “Cop Town” by Karin Slaughter

    Ugh, I have to go and vomit now.

    Like

  392. “For a fee, the exchange will ‘flash’ information about buy and sell orders for just a few fractions of a second before the information is made publicly available.” From Flash Boys by Michael Lewis.

    That’s just wrong. Except in Amsterdam I think.

    Like

  393. “I started to say “No,” but looking at his big friendly smile, I smiled back and said, “I guess I have.” – Where the Red Fern Grows

    Well…

    Like

  394. “What are the evolutionary origins of the malleus an incus?”

    Like

  395. The straw knight jousts better than that one. A Clash of Kings -George R.R. Martin

    Like

  396. This is what I get for coming here while at work: “Notice that EQUAL returns NIL if it recursively has to compare an atom to a cons.”
    I’m guessing “Programming in Common LISP” is a rather obtuse source for advice on one’s love life – but that’ not really bad advice.

    The next closest book is a vintage copy of “Structures to Resist the Effects of Accidental Explosions” – I’m guessing it’s best to not go there…

    Like

  397. “This fake version of Morris Day is a progenitor of the real Chris Brown, the self-absorbed R&B superstar who assaulted Rihanna in 2009 and was instantly despised by everyone in America (except Rihanna herself who seemed to like him slightly more).” – I Wear the Black Hat, Chuck Klosterman

    Um…this is very much not what I was hoping for.

    Like

  398. Guess who I saw today, my dear?

    Like

  399. The book nearest to me? Trigger Warning by Neil Gaiman.

    The sentence? “The man said nothing, only grunted.”

    Liked by 1 person

  400. The city of Philadelphia was, for the most part, still living frugally in those days, but Henry designed White Acre as a brazen affront to the very notion of thrift. “The Signature of All Things” Elizabeth Gilbert
    Heaven knows, thrift has been a problem………:-)

    Like

  401. Unfortunately the book was my Employment Law textbook: “A number of factors will be considered significant when determining the amount of damages to be imposed on an employer for discriminatory conduct.” Quite a disastrous love life I have.

    Like

    Wolf of Words recently posted Why I Love Pro-Wrestling: AJ Styles.

  402. “The neurotic individual, on the other hand, does not simply experience a temporary inability to cope with specific difficulties…his reaction is consistently inappropriate…” OK!!! Lo!!

    Like

  403. “When Michel Callon argues that “to transform something into a commodity, and two agents into a seller and a consumer, it is necessary to cut the ties between the thing and the (…) human beings,” this does not seem to hold on the art market.” But, it was a good deal.

    Olav Velthuis, Talking Prices: Symbolic Meanings of Prices on the Market for Contemporary Art.

    Like

  404. “In third person objective, you are restricted to what the character, he or she, sees or hears; nothing interior is allowed.”
    – Storyteller by Kate Wilhelm

    Like

  405. “Now look back at all your check-marks, and don’t deny yourself a moment (or longer!) to be proud of what you’ve accomplished ad give yourself the much-deserved credit for all your hard work.” – Whole30 Cookbook by Melissa and Dallas Hartwig

    Liked by 1 person

  406. Oh, noes, I have a Kindle and I’m reading a Perry Mason mystery “The Case of the Beautiful Beggar.” How can I tell what’s on page 45, you ask? Well, it’s a crappy PDF-translated-to-mobi and it still has the page numbers on it.

    “That’s right,” Judge Ballinger said, “you answered that with a flat ‘no’ without hesitation a short time ago.

    Oh, that’s sadly accurate given my upcoming divorce to a charming loser-jerk who has lost his charm.

    Like

  407. Mine is from ‘Salt, Sugar, Fat’

    It says: “Convenience with a capital C”

    Sounds about right.

    Like

    trillie recently posted The Year of Suck.

  408. “Talking is something that dysfunctional ___________ (PLURAL NOUN) should never attempt to do, but there are times when it cannot be avoided, such as at family ___________. (NOUN)”

    My nearest book is dysfunctional family madlibs!

    Like

  409. “‘So, how about it then,’ he said, his eyes glistening playfully.”

    From, At The Water’s Edge by Sara Gruen.

    Like

  410. “I’m just wondering how this did end up on YouTube.”
    Better go clear my browser history…

    Like

  411. “How long she would manage to keep Sea Folk elsewhere – and the accursed mainlanders – from learning that she held these islands, Suroth did not know.”

    Like

  412. “Fire Panel and Pull Station Locations Appendix 10″
    :There are two Enunciator Panels that control our fire system”

    Like

  413. “Stop it!’
    -Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban..
    The chapter is The Leaky Cauldron. I say this experiment is quite accurate.

    Liked by 1 person

  414. “Another practical reason is that few of the long-term studies on which we are forced to rely have good measures of family income.”

    Huh.

    Like

  415. “In midautumn that year, when the leaves had turned and the wind had showered them down from the trees like red and gold snow, when evenings were chill and smoke from the chimneys at Faldor’s farm rose straight and blue toward the first cold stars in the purpling sky, Wolf returned.”
    ~Volume One of The Belgariad

    I could take a few possible meanings from this:
    1. Someone I loved and lost will return to me. (seems unlikely)
    2. That I’m drawn toward somewhat creative windbags. (possibly true)
    3. That I will continue my long dry spell at least until the ‘autumn’ of my life. (very likely)
    4. That this exercise is totally meaningless and not worthwhile. (DingDingDing, I think we have a winner!)

    Like

  416. “To indicate a posessive relationship, the particle 的 appears between the “possessor” and the “possessed”.”

    Like

  417. Though, to be fair, it was less a laugh and more of a cackle.

    Liked by 1 person

  418. He watched as it rolled away.

    Like

  419. I’m at work, and the book nearest me is Unleashing Excellence. In a cruel twist of fate, the page numbers somehow jump from 14 to 47, meaning there is no page 45. Draw your own conclusions about what that means for my love life…

    Liked by 1 person

  420. “Ugh who is brooding in here! The air stinks with it.”
    Step Aside Pops, from the glorious Kate Beaton of Hark! A Vagrant fame.

    Like

  421. “Hide for a minute – someone’s approaching fast” from Julius Caesar (play plus plain english translation – plain english is on the odd numbered pages)

    Liked by 1 person

  422. “…so that the buffer is about 5 mm above the surface of the gel.

    Like

  423. References to e-mail messages, as to other forms of personal communication (see also 2.12.47, Unpublished material), should be listed parenthetically in the text and should include (1) the name of the person who sent the message, (2) the sender’s email address, and (3) the date the message was sent.

    I’d say it’s about as thrilling as my love-life, so there’s that.

    Like

  424. “The threat of nonbeing to man’s ontic self-affirmation is absolute in the threat of death, relative in the threat of fate.”
    The Courage to Be by Paul Tillich
    I think I need some lighter reading material…

    Like

  425. “we’ll almost certainly find numbers or letters etched on the surface, even a drug company symbol.”

    Like

  426. Closest book is a medical dictionary as I am trying the whole back to school while working and being a single mother, a little stressful truthfully and the first definition on pg 45 is alcoholism : a chronic behavioral disorder manifested by repeated drinking of alcoholic beverages in excess of the dietary and social uses of the community and to an extent that interferes with the drinkers health or his social or economic functioning.

    oh hell
    how did it know
    I need a drink, it’s 5 o’clock somewhere?

    Liked by 1 person

  427. ” ‘They consider themselves solar harvesters now – turning sunlight into grass and then into meat and milk, ‘ says Stephanie Rittmann, who wrote her 1994 master’s thesis (University of Wisconsin-Madison) on the swelling movement and how and why it is spreading.”

    Have to admit – this is a great sentence and I’m a little turned on.

    Liked by 1 person

  428. At work, so not something I would read for my own entertainment: “The Behavioral Advantage.” Somehow, the sentence still manages to hit the mark:

    “However, as we will see later, they sometimes don’t get it.”

    Liked by 1 person

  429. That makes MonoGlyph totally transparent to clients by default.

    OK…

    Like

  430. She probably was already angry, before she got in the door, thinking about Elmer.

    Fuck, that just about sums it up.

    Liked by 1 person

  431. “Do your parents know you’re here?”

    Rather creepy in this context. Sure hope it isn’t pointing towards some repressed memories or something …😉

    Like

  432. “He moves his plastic toothpick.”

    Liked by 1 person

  433. “Scan the Consonant and Vowel Phoneme charts in this chapter before answering these questions.”

    Like

  434. “My biggest regret, besides stepping on the scale, was that I didn’t bring along a full flask of cabernet.”

    Nailed it!

    Liked by 2 people

  435. My only book at my desk is a book titled “Evil Plans and Stuff” – all of the pages are blank. Yup, that’s my sex life.

    Like

  436. From Microsoft Visual Basic Step by Step: “Now you’ll add a picture box to the form to graphically display the payout you’ll receive when you draw a 7 and hit the jackpot.

    That sounds way better than my love life.

    Like

  437. 437
    Alice_Fraggle

    “But though I won ribbons for recitation and could conjugate the most irregular of French verbs, I did not earn the affectionate touch of my stepmother’s hand.” ~Mary: Mrs. A Lincoln

    WTF does that mean?!

    Liked by 1 person

  438. “Yes, Ivar knew his mollusks.” –Peace Like a River

    That’s really not a good sign…

    Also, all the tears from the sponsor. Also, the Dad one. Crying

    Like

  439. “I’m not going anywhere with you”

    Yeah that sums up my love life

    Liked by 1 person

  440. Velva Jean Learns to Fly by Jennifer Niven

    “At the end of each day, my feet hurt like I’d been running barefoot through the woods back home”.

    *Note that I had an appointment at the foot clinic just a few short hours ago. BAHH HA. Ha. ha.

    Like

  441. “For the next several years there was a nearly complete cessation of archaeological work.”

    Well, that’s not very flattering…

    Liked by 1 person

  442. …”perhaps it was because she wasn’t human, but was almost.”

    Well that explains everything!

    Like

  443. “This other room was larger and much less crowded than where he had dined.” Not sure what that has to do with my love life or lack of one…but I like the “larger” part…

    Like

  444. Having worked with Effective Questions for years, Wagner clearly understood the value of building on successes, not problems. ~ “Be a Trusted Leader” by Ed Oakley.

    Wagner may understand the value, but I’m not sure my husband and I always do. Probably because we haven’t worked with Effective Questions (no idea what that is) for years. Maybe I will read the book and find out. I was hoping for a little self-improvement at work, but maybe this will also help my love life???

    Like

  445. the last to become a buddha was named Burning Light.

    Like

  446. Closest: “Droids harvesting spare parts… That rings a bell” – Doctor Who coloring book

    2nd closest: “I’d probably need to have the proposition defined in a little more detail before I would presume to comment” – Marabou Stork Nightmares, Irvine Welsh

    Like

    Lemur recently posted CARIBBEAN CRUISE, OR, BUY THE BOOZE PASS IF YOU VACATION WITH YOUR MOTHER; PART 2.

  447. I’m reading my book on Kindle. So, do I use location 42? Or 42%? I tried counting 42 pages and then realized if I change the font size, the sentence would be different. So I gave up.

    Like

  448. “Terrified.”

    From The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova

    I actually haven’t read it yet.

    Liked by 1 person

  449. The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe- “One has only to look at her and talk to her to see that she is not mad.”

    Now I’m crying ;_;

    Liked by 1 person

  450. “Here is the truth: Sometimes life is complicated.”

    Yup. That would sum up my love life for sure!

    Liked by 1 person

  451. Then the pain bloomed large and all thought ceased. There was time for one scream.

    Like

    RedPunch recently posted Year of the Leap.

  452. Someone sent me not one but 2 books. I don’t know who to thank, but🙂 About page 45 of closest book: it’s a sketch book. It’s a blank page.

    Liked by 1 person

  453. i like your article, very inspiring, and thank you for your post

    Like

  454. “Oh, I couldn’t sleep for the worry.”

    Page 45 of SIn City: The Hard Goodbye.

    No idea what that means, but it seems vaguely appropriate.

    Like

    Elizabeth recently posted MT: When a button pulls through.

  455. “A gas stove. How, exactly do you turn on a gas stove? And what happens if you do it wrong? The Readers of Broken Wheel Recommend by Katarina Bivald

    Like

  456. “We had the Scots tied to our tails for good.”
    Oh my.
    Josephine Tey, The Daughter of Time

    Like

  457. “My friends, we have had quite enough of talk: The battle is upon us, let us go.”

    From The Empire Striketh Back.

    An earily appropriate quote.

    Liked by 1 person

  458. “Bosch looked at the property report that was taped to the inside of the box’s top.” Wow – that seems even more boring that I thought my love life was…

    Like

  459. “The mall was far busier than it had been during her visit the day before.” From The Winner, David Baldacci
    I do appreciate a retail lover more than a literal lover…

    Like

  460. “Find arccos (12/13) for a first-quadrant angle.” – An old college mathematics text..
    Shit, I don’t remember how to do that crap anymore.
    Yep, I guess it’s accurate! Let me check the back of the book anyway though…

    Like

  461. “Projects have not been properly considered or adequately addressed.” -The Cost of Living

    Liked by 1 person

  462. 462
    Anonymous

    “For example, a man with leprosy came to Jesus and said: ‘If you just want to, you can make me clean.'” – from a Bible study book I had lying around

    Like

  463. 463
    Sillymagpie

    The closest book to me is Excel 2010 in Depth. I’m so doomed.

    Like

  464. 464
    KCathcart

    “Hey! Hide if you have to, but by thunder, stop nibbling!” ~ “Dr. Seuss and Co. Go to War” by Andre Schiffrin

    Yep. Sounds about right…

    Like

  465. Winter.

    *not entirely inaccurate

    Like

  466. “She won’t be coming back.”

    Hoping that’s not true.

    Like

  467. 467
    moonattic

    from To Kill a Mockingbird –
    “Spit it out right now!”
    (can’t stop laughing…)

    Liked by 2 people

  468. “But the whip line promptly snapped and there went the we-only-had-one-of-those-you’re-in-big-trouble-now gauge into the sea.”

    Hmm something about a whip? Nothing so interesting happening around here unfortunately…

    Like

    Michelle recently posted There’s Something About Mapua. (Mapua, New Zealand).

  469. Oh, and mine (468) was from “Don’t Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs: She thinks I’m a piano player in a whorehouse.”
    Also no pianos or whorehouses around here. I either need another book, or another husband.

    Like

  470. 470
    Anonymous

    “A round pie with a firm jelly which fits comfortably into the pocket, was the huntsman’s midday snack when in pursuit of the fox.”

    That could go so many ways.

    Like

  471. I ate it with a spoon, chewing the wax like gum, letting the honey flow into my mouth, sweet and sticky with an aftertaste of wild flowers. -The Ocean at the End of the Lane (holy crap that was sensual!)

    Like

    Donna recently posted Wasted Saturday.

  472. 472
    Anonymous

    “DMing Notes: Hyraksos is not likely to interact with the characters until they are at name level and mingling with Karameikos society.”
    – Gazetteer, The Grand Duchy of Karameikos.
    Not, strictly speaking, a book, but lol.

    Like

  473. “Feel free to position your gadgets anywhere you’d like them.” I’m not that kind of girl, I do not have gadgets, but maybe it’s time to get some.

    Like

  474. “This was a good time to slip out, Pete thought”

    Like

  475. I have an old PhotoShop textbook at my desk at work. The first two sentences are too technical to be relevant but the third paragraph, ah there’s the humor!
    “At this point you can click OK to accept the predefined settings or proceed with step 3 to choose custom settings.”

    Liked by 1 person

  476. (Now the dilemma is do I share this one with my husband? LOL…talk about custom settings!)

    Like

  477. Tri-county phone book

    Attorney’s-Social

    Well that stinks!

    Thanks Jenny!😉

    Like

  478. Mine was a dry summation of the stock market… which explains a lot.

    Like

    Musings, Rants & Scribbles recently posted Why Should Teenagers Have all the Fun?.

  479. “All was silent, until Jan raised her hand.” … ???????

    Liked by 1 person

  480. “Microscopes are essential for studying microorganisms.” Brock Biology of Microorganisms, 13th edition. Perhaps stating the obvious? I am really good at taking difficult concepts and making them understandable…

    Like

  481. “Landon gets into a bar fight with some of the scar triad.”

    This is actually impressive since the nearest book to me is the Fate Core System guide book (basically, the how-to a super easier version of Dungeons and Dragons). So that means I narrowly avoided “Once you have mapped out your character’s phases and chosen aspects, it’s time to pick skills”, or “Once everyone’s done with phase two, you’ll trade adventures with whatever method you chose before, so long as everyone has an adventure that isn’t theirs or the one they just contributed to.”

    So hot right now.

    Like

  482. “Perform the detailed steps to complete the activity”
    …’nuff said.

    Like

  483. Lawrence Kohlberg suggested
    a. a single level of morality.
    b. two levels of morality.
    c. three levels of morality.
    d. preoperational thought as the basis for all morality.

    From Encyclopedia of Counseling: Master Review and Tutorial for the National Counselor Examination, State Counseling Exams, and the Counselor Preparation Comprehensive Examination (Third Edition)

    So… My love life is a series of headache-inducing multiple choice questions that results in a super expensive piece of paper which gives me the legal ability to conduct psychotherapy?

    Like

  484. 484
    CuriousChristina

    “Geez, who gives a damn what a …..what?” (from Falling in Love with Hominids by Nalo Hopkinson) and, alas, all too accurate.

    Like

  485. When winter settles in, it tucks us away indoors with time on our hands and the itch to make the most of it. (from Mary Engelbreit’s Winter). Apropos, I think.

    Like

  486. ‘Let’s have some toast,’ he said.

    Liked by 1 person

  487. “NO-training is done by and large with tone of voice.”
    -Dog Training in 10 Minutes a Day, Carol Lea Benjamin
    (although it’s worth noting that this advice resonates with What Shamu Taught me About Life, Love and Marriage – so same difference.)

    Like

  488. 488
    Shawna Culp

    Holy waste-of-time…since it’s just going to look like a smashed up Oreo once I eat it anyway.

    Like

  489. “I never asked where we got them, but some of them looked a lot like the ones people left at the graveyard.” From Rick Bragg’s “All Over But the Shoutin'” Yeah, that’s about right….

    Like

  490. Well, considering i’m at work and the only books I have are medical/anatomy atlases….. “Inspection of the Oral Cavity” LOL

    Like

  491. 492
    Aisha Knight

    ‘We had undergone an experience which my bunkie, The Rebel, termed “an interesting incident in his checkered career” but which not even he would have cared to repeat.’ Okay…

    Liked by 1 person

  492. “Imagine dainty Cinderella, red-faced, puffing and perspiring, as she tried to shove a glass Hush-Puppy on her Prince’s foot, to see if it fitted him.”

    Ooh, I’m intrigued – but will probably be let down when this is put into context.

    Like

  493. 494
    Mike Richards

    Just tried it.

    The first sentence mentioned Stalin and a whip – positively uncanny.

    Liked by 1 person

  494. 495
    Anonymous

    (From Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell:) “Welcome to FanFixx.net – where the story never ends.”
    Yep, that about sums up my current love life.

    Like

  495. “The human body generates stress hormones(adrenaline and testosterone) in response to excessive heat; hormonal activity has been linked to aggression” (Criminology text book)

    Huh…. my love life is a crime???

    Liked by 1 person

  496. First full sentence on page 45: “So, I got through to the clinic at 9 a.m.” Lordy, I hope that’s not about my love life – oh yeah, and it’s from my own journal. Funny.

    Like

  497. “I reckon that the wounded young man is bravely fending them off as they toy with him.”
    😀

    Liked by 1 person

  498. “Alas, if worth be based on beauty, Snow White has surpassed you, cutie.”

    I might want to move Politically Correct Bedtime Stories further away from me.

    Like

  499. “Bumper cars are $5 a person for a five minute ride.” Huh.

    Like

  500. 501
    BreadwinnerMom

    “And so it was settled.”

    I’ve been married nearly 20 years and have two school-aged children. I’d say “settled” pretty much nails it.

    Like

  501. 502
    fenchurch827

    I work in a rare book library. All the books near me today are in Cherokee and are a complete mystery. Seems accurate.

    Like

  502. “Night came to Perdido Beach”, a humid subtropical sexy love-life?

    Like

  503. “The whole block would clear out just to run home and watch him” Steve Harvey’s Act Like a Success Think Like a Success

    Like

  504. 505
    Stephanie S

    “She’s still strapped in”, says the other one of Sergeant’s people.
    (The Girl With All The Gifts)
    LOL

    Like

  505. 506
    Heather in Arles

    “He plucked off his hat” … aaand … it wasn’t for me.

    Like

  506. Especially since she’d been pretty direct in telling me she’d rather see me with Joe than with Mason.
    -Thirty-Three and a Half Shenanigans by Denise Grover Swank
    Yeah, not sure where to go with this one.

    Like

  507. “It was sort of a minor drawing room, if you know what I mean, and it gave the impression of being overfurnished.”

    My drawing room is just fine, thank you very much.

    Like

  508. It is not at all easy to explain in words how one can make intelligible thought-shapes

    Like

  509. “This questioning process helps because, as you can see from my answers, regardless of our willingness to do vulnerability, it does us.” That’s oddly romantic…and totally encouraging…

    Or I could use the book’s title…Daring Greatly. That sounds like fun.

    Like

    Lisa Ancona-Roach recently posted “When I Was Your Age” and 4 Other Phrases Kids LOVE to Hear.

  510. […] just read this blog post at thebloggess.com, where I’ve found one of those silly chain games that I enjoy so […]

    Like

  511. ‘The whole thing is a mystery to me.’ (‘The Hyde Park Headsman’ by Anne Perry) Yep, that pretty much describes my life right now. I don’t know if I’m up, down, or sideways most of the time.

    Like

  512. I have a book filled house, but all of the books near my desk are genealogy related, so I don’t have great hope for my love life. Nearest book was a self-published book written by a family member… 1st line on page 45 was “April 4, 1980” (the birth date of a distant cousin.)

    Like

  513. 514
    ArmourHer

    “News style specifies that yes and no should be offset with commas.” — June Casagrande, The best punctuation book, period.

    Like

  514. 515
    Jeni Overbey

    “Polyamorous communities exist online and in person, as well as overlapping with several other communities of nonconformists.”

    Like

  515. Then toward the end of the campaign, when it looked like Bush had a good chance of winning, Lay quickly made another donation of $12,500.

    So… I’m doomed to a loveless existence because Lay is against me… but it’s just as well because if he weren’t then another Bush would be elected to office. Either way, my love life is a political catastrophe. That sounds pretty accurate, really.

    Like

  516. “Morgan made this point in Ancient Society, writing, ‘This picture of savage life need not revolt the mind, because to them it was a form of marriage relation, and therefore devoid of impropriety.'” pg 45, Sex at Dawn

    Like

  517. Be sure to do it subtly. Try, “If you happen to be passing by a liquor store . . . ”
    From Eat Your Feelings: Recipes for self-loathing by Heather Whaley

    Like

  518. “Because archival records can be complex physical and chemical objects having different handling and storage needs, an archivist’s primary responsibility is to become acquainted with the increasingly wide range of record materials, both historical and contemporary.” – Preserving Archives & Manuscripts, 2nd Edition

    What? I’m at work.

    Like

  519. 520
    Anonymous

    “The Royal Crown Sinnet is the product of Crown Knots and Wall Knots stacked up on top of one another”

    Hmmmm, interracial knot orgy?

    Like

  520. “2) Action to be taken once you’ve identified an illness in your coop:”
    I believe this exactly sums up my recent love life…..

    Like

  521. “Common to any wood-framed structure are the accessory connector items such as screws, nails, adhesives, hangers, connector plates, straps, angles, and hold-downs.” Um… that’s honestly more planning than I usually put into it.

    Like

  522. “But she nods, grateful to be out of my presence.”

    Um. Ok.

    Like

  523. High-yield general principles: there comes a time when for every addition of knowledge you forget something that you knew before.
    First Aid for the USMLE Step1

    Like

  524. I got “A Simple Koran: The Reconstructed Historical Koran” from the library to try to educate myself. P45 sentence 1 – “I only know that you will be tried and that you may enjoy yourself for a while.”
    Can’t argue with the Koran now, can I.

    Like

  525. 526
    Tom Benedict

    “The focal points F and F’, will be the origins for the coordinate systems (x, y, z) and (x’, y’, z’).”
    (Handbook of Optics Volume II)

    There are so many ways to interpret this, but any way you spin it I think I’m screwed.

    P.S. One of those interpretations is “Stop reading Jenny Lawson’s blog at work!” but that can’t possibly be right.

    Like

  526. Many were my faults, but lack of decision was not one of them.

    Like

  527. OMG this kind of works: “The unforeseen connections possible between differentiated sites and alien programmes require conciliatory, complicit, pliant, flexible and often cunning tactics.”

    Like

  528. “Company came last night – Mrs. McKenzie of Toronto and her two daughters.”
    ~The Complete Journals of L.M. Montgomery: The PEI Years, 1889-1900 ~ Rubio and Waterston

    Like

  529. Black has only one place to go, and it just happens that a White Rook is occupying that square. The King saves himself by capturing the Rook- so much the better. – Bobby Fischer Teaches Chess.

    Not sure what to think here…

    Like

  530. We struggled for years to conceive and I thought that adoption would be our only option. I have tried IVF, and had 2 failed rounds, it was too expensive so we needed to check other options. Adoption costs a lot of money too. Tried different fertility treatments and medications. One day, I was searching on what to do to get pregnant and i saw a testimony share by Sandra Adams in Brooklyn NY, USA on how she got help to have a baby of her own today she now live a happy life with her husband and she also pregnant again and i quickly contacted the email and number wrote which is doctortemiherbalhome@gmail.com and +2348148824524 now am pregnant after doing what this man ask me to do and the instruction he gave to me, am now 7months pregnant after 8years of marriage am so so happy and if you are out there having this similar problem quickly contact him now for your help.
    ,

    Like

  531. “I’m modernizing the systems.”- The Dragons of Ordinary Farm

    Like

  532. Keep your gun outside and stick your head out just far enough so you can see.
    I have so many weird thoughts going through my head at this quote and I’m hoping at least some of the euphemism ones are accurate or I’m in so much trouble.
    Masters of the Vortex by EE “doc” Smith

    Like

  533. The funny thing is, I just finished Furiously Happy today and wanted to see your blog. So my line is “It wasn’t enough blood to be worrisome.” And that pretty much describes my love life!

    Like

  534. 535
    Mitzilica

    ” ho, at least for awhile.” Mr. Mercedes, Stephen King (hardcover). Hmmmm…..

    Like

  535. “You must be the pastor’s…mother-in-law, is it?” I guessed. (Thanks Bloggess. I am never, ever getting laid again. life is sucky., I’m going to look at Ferris Mewler pics now and cry)

    Like

    nutbunnie recently posted Jingo goes to the Hospital.

  536. 537
    Anonymous

    I’m thinking that I shouldn’t have used the Merck Veterinary Manual (it was the closest book to me, though). The first sentence on page 45 of that is, “Fetal and neonatal alloimmune thrombocytopenia: This disorder occurs when maternal antibodies are produced against a paternal antigen on fetal platelets.” Interesting, but (hopefully) says nothing about my love life…unless it’s saying that I’m a nerd and have too many veterinary texts to have a love life.

    Like

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