First off: This is a sponsored post and I’m telling you now because it seems shitty to read a whole post and then at the end get a “HEY, THIS IS AN AD” but you should read this one because at the end one of you will win a shitload of money because the sponsor is Blue Lizard Australian Sunscreen and they want you to get out and have a bad-ass road trip that doesn’t end in cancer. WHO CAN HATE ON THAT? No one. So let’s begin.
Blue Lizard (who I love and have used for years) asked if they could sponsor a post and my first response was the same one I always have for that question, which was, “I don’t really do that” but then they said “You can write whatever you want” and I was like “Can I write about ghost hunting?” and they were like, “Sure. But that seems like something you wouldn’t need sunscreen for since ghost come out at night” and I had to explain that ghosts don’t sleep in the day because they aren’t vampires and it got too complicated so instead I was like, “How about I go on a road trip to fucked up places I never knew existed?” and they were like, “That sounds weird. But good?” And then I was all, “AND THEN YOU CAN GIVE ONE OF MY READERS A CHANCE TO SEE FUCKED UP SHIT TOO?” and they were like, “Okay. But, um…define ‘fucked-up‘?” and I was like, “Don’t worry about it, Lizards. I GOT THIS.”
And I did. Because it gave me the perfect excuse to do a family road trip weirdo-style. So I set up a road trip agenda to take us to the world’s largest pistachio nut and then Victor was like, “Or we could actually take Hailey to see something worthwhile, like The Grand Canyon or a National Park” and I was like, “Well, I guess we can do both if big nuts aren’t good enough for you” so we did. You may have seen some of this on instagram but I saved the best stuff for this post. Let’s start:
First off we flew to El Paso, which slightly seems like breaking the rules of a “road trip”, but driving from the middle of Texas to the end of Texas takes 480 years.
Then we drove toward New Mexico.
Then we hit Arizona:
That’s when I took control of the agenda and gave Victor directions to see the gravestone of Rex Allen’s famous horse.
Then we saw a billion billboards for “THE THING”. What is “THE THING”? Excellent question. And one we asked ourselves for the next several hours as we saw a sign for it every mile. Victor attempted to not go see THE THING because he’s the kind of guy who never opened up his digital alarm to see if there were squirrels in it (there weren’t) so Hailey and I screamed in protest until he pulled in to the gas station where you buy tickets to see The Thing.
WHAT IS THE THING?! I’m not telling you. Because that ruins the mystery. But I will say we got to walk through two separate trailer parks to see it. It was very thingy.
My reaction: “Huh.”
Hailey’s reaction: “Whoa.”
Victor’s reaction: “JESUS CHRIST. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I WANT MY DOLLAR BACK.”
On the way to see THE THING we walked by 100 gourds carved to look like monsters and also a shocking amount of home-made torture-related displays. I sort of thought we might get murdered (spoiler alert: we didn’t).
Next stop was Tombstone, Arizona, where we made a shitload of movie references that no one else seemed to get.
We did some ghost tours in Tombstone but the only thing that showed up on my camera was this weird orb that I kept getting at Boot Hill, which was either a ghost or a moth. Or a moth’s ghost. Can’t rule anything out when it comes to the supernatural.
The next day I took over the navigation.
Then we stopped at Rooster Coburn’s Ostrich Farm and they had a big wall with holes where goats stick their heads out so it looks like you have live, taxidermied goat heads. Or like giant glory holes but with goats instead of penises.
Then we saw the ostriches who were all surrounded by “WE’LL BITE YOU” signs and I was like, “Yo, I’ll be careful” but right then this asshole slams his head over the fence, slaps me with his own face, and grabs my whole bag of goat food and shatters my thumbnail. Like, literally he drew blood.
Then on the way to the next stop I saw that there was something pretty awesome a half hour away.
So we missed the stone schlong that so we could go to the haunted Grand Hotel in Jerome, Arizona.
It was a weird town. Half awesome and half threatening.
Next morning we took off on a train to see the Grand Canyon. It was one of those trains where old-west train robbers board the train and mug you and I thought that sounded like fun and also that if I stole all the hootch in the booze car I could blame it on bandits, but then it turned out there wasn’t even a booze car and I reminded myself why Victor shouldn’t be allowed to book trains and also I wondered why trains even existed. But it was surprisingly cool.
And it ended with a stop at the Grand Canyon, which is basically an enormous hole. But a pretty hole? Sorry. They should have sent a poet.
The most memorable part of the Grand Canyon though was the toilet.
I thought it was just a weird one-off thing, but then further up the canyon trail I saw this:
And it was nice to see something that everyone talks about, but honestly Antelope Canyon was so much cooler and I highly recommend. It started with an authentic Native American hoop dance in the eaves of a non-functional gas station in front of a Taco Bell. Then we loaded into the back of a truck like it was the 70’s and when we got there it was one of the most amazing things I’ve seen. Go there.
Then we sent to see a giant meteor crater in Arizona.
We saw the Petrified Forest, which is the least foresty forest ever:
And the Valley of Fire Lava Fields, which were not on fire and the Smokey the Bear museum where they buried Smokey, and the jail where Billy the Kid shot his way out, White Sands National Park in New Mexico, which is all beach and no giant octopuses. We stopped on the side of the road to see giant, 10-foot tall zombie hands outside of a cave that sold knick knacks.
And finally we were at the end, as we celebrated the biggest pistachio nut IN THE WORLD.
And it was magical. And ridiculous. And an excellent chance to see the world (or at least a small part of it) with my favorite people. And none of us got sunburned because we were covered in Blue Lizard. I highly recommend. The trip, that is. And the sunscreen. They aren’t mutually exclusive.
So here’s the fun part. Leave a comment about something awesome you’d like to go visit and the best comment will get a $500 VISA card from Blue Lizard to use on your next road trip. Also, you can use coupon code P20ROADTRIP for 20% OFF orders over $35 at www.bluelizard.net all through 2016.
Leave a comment y’all. (PS. Use a good email so I can contact you if you win. I won’t use your email or give it out for anything else so no worries about spam. Also, they can only ship the prize to the U.S. Just FYI.)
Updated: WE HAVE A WINNER!
I would love the $500 to contribute to my family’s awesome road trip scheduled this summer! (Also, I have had repeated occurrences of melanoma, so I am basically slathered in sunscreen 24/7 from April thru October.)
Here are the stops on our planned road trip: Orient Mine -to watch hundreds of thousands of bats fly out for dinner at dusk. Colorado Gator Reptile Park (because alligators in Colorado); Great Sand Dunes National Park (sand boarding and sledding, with fantastic views) ; Best Western Movie Manor (drive in movies you watch from your hotel room); River rafting in Durango; Choco Canyon in New Mexico; Roswell, New Mexico to hang out with aliens; Carlsbad, New Mexico (more bats, maybe some ghosts) and then back home (with an overnight stop along the way to visit a cemetery in Pueblo, where my great, great grandfather was buried in 1901). ~ Tracy
Check your email, Tracy.
That trip sounds awesome! I want to go to New Orleans and do some sweet ghost tours!
Hmm, good question! I’d like to go see the Grand Canyon some day. Also In-N-Out in CA, if that counts 😉 I’ve been but it’s delicious.
OK so it’s not really all that much of a trip since it’s in my state, and probably not even far from me, but there’s something called Foamhenge here which is like a foam version of Stonehenge. Who doesn’t want to see that?
(There’s a miniature version of Stonehenge in my state and I totally have it on my list. I imagine the set decoration from Spinal Tap. ~ Jenny)
I want to drive around Louisiana until I can find the best real life version of Lester’s Possum Park that I can. Extra bonus if we are accosted by a disco loving bigfoot in the process!
A kick-ass road trip like that is on my bucket list, for sure. I feel the need to see an enormous hole.
I knew this trip was happening, I just had no idea how totally and utterly awesome it was. I love everything about it. The pictures are phenomenal!
Hubs and I have been wanting to take a road trip through various parts of New England, where we live, to different parts of the US where we can mine our own gems. We want to end up in Crater of Diamonds State Park (http://www.craterofdiamondsstatepark.com/) in Arkansas after hitting Maine, New Hampshire, New Jersey, North Carolina, and possibly a few other places as well. We’ll bring the dogs, dig in the dirt, and hopefully find some pretty, pretty rocks along the way.
We don’t know when this will happen, but someday. If we have time we might even tack on a leg to Utah for fossil hunting.
What a fabulous, weird, awesome trip! My fantasy family road trip is to take a whole summer and drive to all the national parks . . . or at least all the ones in the continental US. And take many detours along the way to follow weird billboards. $500 won’t cover it all . . . but it’s would be a start! (And I love Blue Lizard too! I’ve tested many mineral sunscreens for my son who is allergic to the regular stuff. It’s the best for going on easily, not leaving him looking like a ghost, and not rinsing off immediately in water.)
The Hockey Hall of Fame is on my list of places to go. I wonder though, if it smells as bad as i imagine. Hockey is stinky! Old hockey must be positively rank.
I’d drive through Iowa, and stop at the 2-Mit Wagon in Elkader, IA. They put drugs in the meat to make you crave them.
I’m not a good traveler myself, but like to live vicariously through other people’s vacation pics. Good to see a furiously happy raccoon at the Grand Canyon! I also would have gone to see the penis rock, just because.
One small town over from the small town I live in is a sign:
CHEESE
HIP HOP
SPIRITUAL ADVICE
Yes, all on one sign. How have I lived here and not stopped for this combo?
Your trip looks great! This post reminds me of Neil Gaiman’s American God’s where he claims that while in other countries they found holy places and built churches, in America we found holy places and built roadside attractions, like Things and giant Pistachios. I’ve only ever been to one – South of the Border, which was awesome. If I won I’d want to go on a grand tour of American Roadside Attractions!
Oooh. I would want to do an American Gods road trip and see all the weird places in that story. Like:
House on the Rock in Spring Green, WI
Rock City in Lookout Mountain, GA
search for the World Tree (one hour south of Blacksburg, VA)
Your trip sounds crazy and wonderful. I’ve been to most of those places since I lived in Arizona for 9 years but we are going back this summer to the Grand Canyon to show the kids who were too young to remember – so we will definitely need sunscreen and $500 would help pay for hotels for 10 people (two of which are too young to remember this trip in 20 years as well – so see it is perpetual like that!)
I really need to go to North Dakota. It is the only state I haven’t been to and I’m not sure how it got missed on cross-country trips growing up. Though I am also a little apprehensive about it….what if my sole purpose in living is to visit all 50 states and I drop dead when I get there? I am willing to take the risk.
I’m not sure if I’m eligible for the prize being South African but I’d like to go to Cape Town. My favourite holiday as a child was in Cape Town. And I’d like to return in my “adultier” form and truly enjoy it.
I’d like to take my son on an east coast road trip visiting the best comic shops.
this is awesome!
I want to go to Alaska when its light for 24 hours. Because that just sounds like something that would be neat to experience once!
I want to go to the Hallerbos Forest in Belgium. It’s carpeted with Bluebells. Sounds magical.
http://www.boredpanda.com/hallerbos-bluebell-forest-nature-photography/
I WOULD LOVE TO GO TO THE WORLD’S MOST SCENIC URINAL because that is ultimately the dream. I would rub the sunscreen on myself and the urinal so it would stop getting so pissed (yes, I had to) that no one thought to cover it with sunscreen. I think doing so would help more people than just me and Mr. Urinal so this is ultimately for the betterment of mankind.
I have so many places I want to visit. Domestic travel top two are the mountains of upstate NY and all the big old houses along the Hudson River and Northern California including San Fransisco and wine country. And sunscreen is a must. I burn super quickly, never tan, then go back to vampire worthy pale.
You guys make weird look fun and interesting and educational (in the life skills “don’t drink from the toilet” kind of way, not the useless algebra way). When I grow up, I want to take road trips like you. And I’m 48.
OMG My husband and I were JUST talking about taking a trip like this!!! Except I’m not sure what cool stuff there is between NJ and the Grand Canyon. I’ve never seen it and I really want to go. We kind of lamed out on vacations with my 9 year old cause we’re broke the past two years, and I thought an awesome road trip would be perfect!!! Except I’m pretty sure there’s nothing in Ohio, because Ohio.
Is that an app or a web site you used to find the penis rock? Does it find other cool stuff nearby, or just penis rocks? 😂 Either way, I feel like I need it in my life.
I want to go back to Kansas and see the world’s deepest well. It when I was eleven, but I don’t think I truly appreciated the experience.
I want to take my family to DC this year. We have already seen Tiny Town in Hot Springs Arkansas one too many times. 🙂
I want to fly to CA, then rent a JUCY rv (check them out, so cool) and drive up to northern California to Redwood National Forest. What’s cooler than enormous trees? And, of course, hit up some wineries along the way. And hey, since you can just pull over and sleep in the car/rv when you’ve had too much, it’s a win-win!
I’ve lived in Georgia for 7 years and still haven’t made it to the Okefenokee Swamp. Can you imagine how much fun it would be to have to say Okefenokee all the time? And not have a sunburn? Pure bliss.
Several friends and I have talked about a road trip featuring this place, which honestly seems right up your alley, too:
http://www.isladelasmunecas.com/
It apparently started out as some sort of memorial for a child who had drowned, then people started adding more dolls, then eventually it spiraled completely out of control and now it’s the Island of the Creepy-Ass Misfit Toys.
(I saw it on Destination Truth and I totally want to go. I think it’s private property though. ~ Jenny)
Id love to see zion national park. What is it about giant rocks that screams ”majesty”?
Your road trip sounds like it was a very fun adventure. I want to take a trip to DC and see the smaller museums… I’ve already been to all of the monuments and stuff, but I hear that there is a bunch of odd museums… so I want to do that. 🙂
My husband and I starting to plan a long camping/road trip to New England at the end of August, and we are realky hoping to take a side trip to see the Interrnational Cryptozoology Museum in Portland!!
I’ve seen three Fiji Mermaids, but I won’t be happy until I’ve seen at least a dozen, not to mention all the other cryptids that probably don’t exist but ABSOLUTELY are real when I’m camping and hear any noise whatsoever outside my tent. They may not be real when I go out to check, so it’s kind of like Schroedinger’s Cat, but I’m the one in the box. And alive. I hope. (Or is the box the rest of the universe and the inside of my tent is everything outside of the box? My brain hurts. I think hugging Bigfoot might help. Also learning how to self-censor.)
Alaska during them summer would definitely require the Lizard. Hopefully is will also scare off any Palins, I mean varmits…
ZOMBIE HANDS!!!! My kiddo and I have been talking a lot about road trips we’d love to take — mainly they involve animals, and playing with animals, and loving animals, and how we can hang out with animals, basically. So our dream road trip would be to hang out at Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Utah, where the national org is based and where they have ALL THE ANIMALS and do lots of great rehabilitation and loving of animals! (P.S. I’m buying some Blue Lizard as soon as I get off work, and hoping that it’ll bring some sunny-day mojo into my life here in the gloomy Northeast.)
I’ve really wanted to see the Grand Canyon and Mt. Rushmore. My husband grew up in Arizona, and his reaction was less than enthusiastic. When I bring it up, he begins saying
“Look kids: Grand Canyon. Mt. Rushmore” in the same voice as Chevy Chase used in Vacation ( Look kids: Big Ben. Parliment ). He contends: It’s a hole. I’m like : So are you, but now we’re just arguing semantics.
What is the road trip app that was used to find the Phallic Rock? My husband and I are going on a road trip from VA to Montreal, and I want to find as many crazy “let’s-stop-there” places as possible!
(It’s from RoadsideAmerica.com. It’s a bit hit-or-miss but when it’s successful it’s awesome. ~ Jenny)
I want to see the Amber Room in St. Petersburg, Russia, but I guess that isn’t a road trip unless the Bering Sea freezes over again, and since Global Warming may or may not exist, that’s kind of an iffy proposition.
We’re moving to Japan on Saturday. I want to travel around and see all shrines and places Wolverine visits in the comic books. Yes, seriously. Love Wolverine and how cool would that be! I could even dress up in cosplay (although, I would have to be X-23), and pose.
My dream road trip would be to Astoria, OR to see locations where The Goonies was filmed. Truffle Shuffle anyone?!?
It’s really not that far away, but we have this horrible habit of not doing the things we say we are going to do….Anywho. I want a road trip to go to the Desert of Maine. Yep…Maine has a desert.
Love your posts Jenny! I stumbled across the Furiously Happy audiobook and was very glad that I did. For my own struggles with ADHD and anxiety, your book has become the book I go back to over and over again. If I’m in need of a pick me up after a bad day, I listen to the selfish cats chapter. There are so many chapters that resonate with me, and whatever the situation I find myself in, there’s something I can listen to and re-“read” that makes me feel a little less alone. So thank you from the bottom of my heart. (Where does that expression even come from? Is the bottom of the heart more meaningful than saying from the top? I mean, I guess the bottom of the heart would anatomically be the ventricles and they’re much stronger than the atria at the top. But is it from the bottom of the right or left ventricle? Because the right has deoxygenated blood so that seems in poor taste, so maybe I’m grateful from my left ventricle of oxygenated blood? I don’t know. But thank you for sharing your voice, and for providing endless addendums to sentences that resonate with my own inner thoughts!)
I would love to take a road trip to Nova Scotia. I live in Massachusetts and I think it would be great to stop at a bunch of interesting places in Canada, but to arrive at the coast and see all those gorgeous green landscapes and to experience the Victoria-era parks seems like ot would be an awesome trip. I imagine that it may not be as popular a road trip destination as others, but I’ve always wanted to go, and maybe I’d be able to get more use out of my French than currently using it to ask the few French co-workers if I can borrow their lab supplies for my experiments.
While this wouldn’t be a roadtrip destination, unless there’s also a ferry involved (and let’s face it, it would take 173738 years to drive/ferry there) I would love to to South Korea to visit my family. I haven’t been since I was three, and don’t remember or haven’t met the majority of the large gaggle of aunts/uncles/cousins/family from my mother’s side.
Is there a Dusek Taxidermy Museum in Wall, TX?
(Yes. It’s my dad’s taxidermy shop. A bit too bloody to be a museum though. ~ Jenny)
I’ve always wanted to visit Bat Cave, NC, because any time you have a chance to visit the Bat Cave, you should take it.
The giant pistachio looks like a giant va-jayjay.
When I was a kid, our family would load up our giant Buick Park Avenue and take a 2 week driving trip to various locations. One year we went to the Grand Canyon. It was amazing. We took an airplane flight through the canyon. Just after breakfast but before leaving for our flight through the canyon (which I’ve heard isn’t done anymore) we saw park maintenance driving through the park with a dead squirrel at the end of the hook. Apparently, the maintenance truck took the corner too fast because when they turned, right in front of where we were standing, the squirrel’s guts flew out of the squirrel and landed on the street at our feet. It was hilarious and disgusting. This was probably the HIGHLIGHT of that trip. Ahh the memories.
I’d like to take my husband and son on a trip to the Grand Canyon too, but without the squirrel guts.
Plus, I’ll be checking out the Blue Lizard products because my husband is a ginger and gets sunburned just thinking about going outside in the sunlight. Thanks!!
steffanotta@yahoo.com
I would take my kids to Vancouver BC, Canada. We moved when my first was 1.5 and I miss it so much sometimes I dream about driving down the streets in North Vancouver.
House on the Rock! Again! And I think you would love it if you haven’t been. http://www.travelwisconsin.com/entertainment-and-attractions/house-on-the-rock-attraction-203820
I was scheduled to take a road trip in June – before you announced yours – then your trip made me really jealous. Leaving from Denver – to Jackson Hole, WY then over to Yellowstone. To Sun Valley, Idaho to Salt Lake City and back to Denver. Driving a convertible – would love to promote Blue Lizard Sunscreen.
I want to go to Savanah and see all the cemeteries and architecture and places where revolutionary war and civil war stuff happened and eat all the food. But, mostly the cemeteries because I love wandering around really old ones. There is just so much history down there I feel like I could stay a month and not see it all!
(That is totally on my bucket list. ~ Jenny)
The Canadian prairies are peppered with various “worlds biggest________” or random weirdness. Just to name a few: worlds biggest pierogi (on a giant fork), worlds biggest Easter egg, worlds first UFO landing pad, worlds largest beaver, and worlds largest dinosaur (you an actually climb up into the head and stand in the mouth, 25 m tall.
It would make an awesome weird road trip.
A complete list is found here: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giants_of_the_Prairies
This was fab. I too saw THE THING on a road trip but thought it was profoundly sad and wanted my dollar back, but just because I didn’t want to have given a dollar to exploit said THING.
I’m torn on my road trip idea – there’s a place in North Georgia I’d like to hit up, Talllulah Gorge (MORE GIANT HOLES?!), mostly because I hear there’s a general store nearby that has goats that live on the roof, and I like goats and seeing things in unexpected places; but also there’s a hotel in Americus GA that’s supposed to be SUPER haunted but it’s also SUPER pricey, and it’s within driving distance of the world’s largest peanut (MORE BIG NUTS?!), so I’d just have to flip a coin. But I’d be happy to have the option to do so!
I want to go to Hawaii and make a blood sacrifice to the volcano god and pray for fertility. Unless those are two different gods.., ya’know I think a volcano god would appreciate a sacrifice, he probably doesn’t get many these days, and a volcano erupting is one of those euphemistic images, like rockets taking off, that mean ejaculation, so I think it would cover all the bases.
Glad you hd such a good time! I would use the money to further explore my adopted state of California and see weird shit like the Winchester Mystery House, the secret sidewalk, the Court of Mysteries (a creepy house built only at night), the Mystery Spot (bonus points for pretending like I’m in a Supernatural episode while there), the school where Buffy was filmed, the World’s Largest Lemon, this cool beach where the ruins of this old town are all spread out and apocalypsey, and basically any other oddities I can fit into a road trip.
(I saw the Winchester Mystery House last year when I was on tour and it was awesome. ~ Jenny)
Well, I’ve seen the big hole, but I would love to just take a road trip thru the Carolinas and stop at little interesting places along the way. No plans, just drive and stop when we want!
We’re headed on an 18 day road trip from California to Duluth in July! After Yellowstone and Mt. Rushmore, I am hoping to persuade the hubs to pull off the highway so we can see The Corn Palace (in Mitchell, SD) in all it’s glory.
The Museum of Linoleum in Kirkcaldy, Scotland. I hear they have a bit of original lino from Paul McCartney’s old council house in Liverpool — if ever there was a need for a selfie, it’s with THAT in the background.
I want to go to Niagra Falls, but I refuse to get married (again) to see it.
My mom and I did a cross-country road trip after I finished college many, many years ago, and we drove through Kansas. The long way across. We saw signs every quarter mile for about 800 miles advertising the world’s largest groundhog. We were understandably pretty excited by the time we got there. But we drove up to the building, and it had closed literally 5 minutes before we got there. We thought about stopping overnight, but there were no hotels around (or anything else really), and we are not camping women, so we had to let go of that dream. It has haunted me ever since. I need to go back to Kansas to find out what that damn groundhog looks like.
I’d love to go to Banff National Park in Canada. Quiet, mountains and turquoise lakes. Plus, I need to check out the digs in Canada in case the Trump…..(I just can’t say it)… Anyway, Banff sounds lovely…..
I’d like to take my Dad, who just recovered from his second stroke, to see the Very Large Array.
Who knows, maybe we’ll see Jodie Foster out there looking for ET.
http://www.vla.nrao.edu/
-Duke
Loved your travel stories and pictures!! I am dying to go to Portland Oregon and visit VooDoo Donuts. Not scenic, not nature-ish…. but DONUTS.
Nighttime Bigfoot Search in Tennessee, it’s a thing – http://www.appalachianghostwalks.com
Stop at every bourbon distillery on the way and out of the way
And since I’d start from Texas, I definitely need to see the one-way glass walled public bathroom in Sulphur Springs
How did you not get a picture of the signs in the Grand Canyon that say, “Don’t feed the squirrels because they carry the plague”?
I want to see the Northern Lights in AK more than anything.
I’d like to visit Sydney, Australia since I named my daughter Sydney (and it seems like a beautiful and entertaining city).
My husband and I have been fascinated with ‘Door to Hell’ in Turkmenistan since we found out about it. I mean, a door to hell on Earth. What’s next, a stairway to heaven in Ulaanbaatar?
We’re a motorcycle family and would love to make the trip to North Carolina to the Wheels Thru Time museum and see all the awesome old motorcycles.
Oh, the signs and the evil ostrich were awesome. I want to visit the Big Potato. I think it would be less colourful than the big pistachio … But just as big. Craters would be impressive. But we don’t have any here in Australia… But I’d wear Blue Lizard Sunscreen while searching for them. I promise.
We’ve always wanted to visit our friend who lives in Truth or Consequence, New Mexico. Yes, it’s a real town. They sold their name to a game show in the 60’s or something. Also there’s a place near there called Elephant Butte. Which I know it’s not pronounced butt but I still pronounce it butt. Apparently it’s a giant rock /small mountain in a lake that looks like an elephants ass. That’s something everyone should see at least once in their life.
My 12-year-old just took a career aptitude test, and it came back that loving animals and art, and not wanting to work with people, adds up to being a taxidermist. And since receiving that career advice, she’s become mildly obsessed with taxidermied (is that a word? spell check says no) animals. So here’s our ultimate road trip: Taxidermy Hall of Fame of North Carolina Creation Museum.
I want to do a road trip to West Virginia to see the trans-allegheny lunatic asylum to go ghost hunting, see the mothman statue and museum, and then see the unbelievable “mystery hole”.
I’d like to visit Sydney, Australia since I named my daughter Sydney (and it seems like a beautiful city to visit).
God, there are so many places I want to visit.
I’d like to rent a red, 1968 convertible Beetle and do a Route 66 road trip and see all the weird things you can see along the way. I’d like to stay in cheesy theme motels along the way.
I’d like to go to PEI because of my Anne of Green Gables obsession, and then visit Nova Scotia. I’ve never been to that part of Canada and it looks beautiful.
I’d like to go to San Jose and see the Winchester Mystery House with my friend Kim, who is into everything spooky. In fact, doing a spooky road trip with her would be a blast.
There is a circus museum in southern Wisconsin that I’ve never been to. I don’t particularly like clowns, but we could consider a visit there to be immersion therapy and I’ll be a better person in the end. There is also something called The House on the Rock. I hate heights, but as this is shaping up to be the Immersion Therapy Road Trip, I’ll head there, too. Afterwards, some rest and relaxation will have been earned, and a stop at the Sundara Spa in the Dells will be a nice wrap up. 🙂
I would love to go on some ghost tours just about anywhere in the US – I love the idea of going anywhere – I’ll never be able to cross all the places on my list off. In fact, I hope you write another book and do signings just so I have reason to meet you – I would seriously drive 4 or more hours if I had to. But, at the moment I most want to go to Antietam and/or Gettysburg.
I’d like to see Wall Drug…I mean I’ve seen the signs for it near Kansas City, MO, but it’s all the way in South Dakota…dude – THAT’S commitment on the quality of the Drugs you have in your wall!!! Plus the Badlands…how bad are they really???
I’ve always wanted to visit Niagara Falls. It’s lots of really fast water. How could that not be cool?
already beat you guys to the giant pistachio and the octopus-free beaches in new mexico. i think my next trip is hiking in south dakota’s president-laden black hills.
Life goals involve making a stop in every country and state, but I really, really want to visit the Sedlec Ossuary in the Czech Republic. And you may think you don’t need sunscreen to hang out and look at bones but I’m highly combustible and part vampire so slapping on the sunscreen is an important part of my life.
This is a no brainer…. Deep Fried Cheese Curds Road Trip. My daughter and I recently stumbled across one of those “Best Places For (fill in the blank)” lists for Wisconsin Cheese Curds (Deep fried, of course.). Having been long time cheese curd connoisseurs you can imagine our delight upon moving to Wisconsin to discover that Wisconsin deep fries everything (No, seriously… EVERYTHING) and Cheese Curds top the list of things they love to fry.
Anyway, $500 should cover the expenses for gas, Deep Fried Cheese Curds, Sunblock (we’ll eat outside to enjoy the four days of Summer allotted to Wisconsin) and whatever digestive correction products we’ll require.
Cheese Curds…. yummy.
I would love to go to Avery Island, Louisiana and tour the McIlhenny Company Tabasco Farm. Wouldn’t that be great and Hot! Plus is it family owned and operated.
I want to cross from from Nepal into Tibet—-maybe someday!
I am a native Californian who is mock-mocked by my friends for never having been to Yosemite, but I’ve always wanted to go!
I’d like to see the vampire bar Dusk to Dawn. one of my favorite Quentin Tarrantino movies!
I would like to take my Mother in Law to visit Lambeau Field and Door County this summer. My husband died a few weeks ago, and she is afraid she will go too without seeing the places she hasn’t gone. I am afraid I will go mad, I miss him like I miss oxygen underwater, so instead – driving Mom around Green Bay and the lighthouses of Door County seems a viable alternative. I don’t know if it will help, but I figured I would give it a shot.
I want to take my kids to see the Grand Tetons. Rocks named after boobs! What could be better?
You’re the BEST storyteller EVER. And vacation planner (suck it, Victor)!
I’d love to go to Savannah and do the ghost tours there, especially now that I know there are no vampire ghosts.
I would love to go to The Space Needle. I would like to spend some time in the Pacific Northwest and see the ocean. I miss the ocean so very much!
Hobbit Holes in New Zealand!!! And all of Hobbiton!! Although that involves me saving up a lot of money so that will have to wait. 🙂
More realistically’ish … Vancouver, B.C. to stalk “Sam” and “Dean” … Portland, OR to see the weirdness and visit an old friend … anywhere with beautiful mountains or forests or wildlife or awesomeness!
xo
My family did awesome three day road trips every summer to visit family. We drove from Tucson, AZ to Kalispell, MT. Now that I’m getting married and will have a new three year old stepson, I really want to do that trip again and start a new/old tradition with my new family,
My husband and I have always wanted to take a long road trip to The Coral Castle. It is located in League City, Florida, which a drive from Gulf Coast of Texas to the tip of Florida is an adventure in itself. It is an awesome castle made from coral by one man, he built it only at night. Here is the link, http://www.coralcastle.com
I want to see sequoias! I have yet to experience the west coast and what better way than with some big ass trees?
We’re a military family so we’ve done the cross country trek several times already. But we’re always rushing to beat the moving truck so we don’t stop to see anything cool. Unless you count the ER in Nashville, TN for stitches in the middle of the night when one of the kids fell out of bed and banged his head on a table. Or spending hours looking for your escaped cat in the woods of WV. And the 480 years it really does take to drive through TX. (Holy Hell, Texans, no wonder you never want to leave and think it the bestest place on Earth… it’s too damn difficult to get out!) We know approximately 3,745 families through the Marine Corps who live all over the country so I’d love to finally take our time, visit all our friends and have them take us to the best local attraction. Ending up in sunny San Diego for some fish tacos and retirement is the end goal. So yeah, I’m really gonna need some serious SPF there.
I want to take my daughter to Chicago to celebrate her high school graduation this month. Does the sunscreen work even if your face is constantly covered in tears?
I want a road trip to visit some Renaissance Faires. I would include Ringing Rocks Park in Upper Black Eddy PA. You bring a hammer and beat on rocks, one of the only places in world where something like 80 percent of the rocks ring like bells. And then find some caverns too. I would definitely wear sunscreen.
Hooray for road trips! I wanna take my great-niece up to Mt Rushmore & the Crazy Horse memorial, because we did the Grand Canyon last year & only a bunch of heads on mountains can top that;) Plus, my Irish skin will look good covered in Blue Lizard:)
Antelope Canyon! Had never heard of it, it looks awesome
I’d love to go to Oaxaca Mexico during day of the dead and sketch all the things.
I want to go to Poland and Amsterdam and Germany and all of the places that once were horrible to remind me and show my kids that evil cannot win. Plus, how will they know not to repeat it if they haven’t seen the horror with their own eyes? I also want to go over there to show them that people shouldn’t be treated less than because they aren’t the same as “us” – exactly what is going on in this great state of North Carolina. I have never been ashamed to say where I am from until recently. I want to show them what can happen and did happen. It is possible to happen again…and it seems it is already.
We are planning a Grand Canyon trip 2017…now must include a visit to the pistachio nut. but not the zombie hands. I can’t with zombies
A trip to Giethoorn, a village called the Venice of the Netherlands. About 7.5 km of canals run through the little village, no vehicles allowed. I would love to spend some time there, it is quiet and picturesque!
So cool! I’ve always wanted to road trip up the California coast and stop at all the missions. Yes, all of them.
I’d like to go to Maine, explore the coastal towns and have excellent seafood, then go inland and try some grizzly. Plus, the Maine trip would be a bonus because i’ve never seen an ocean, so i could see that too.
I’ve lived near most of the places you went on your trip, and it’s always fun to see it from an outsider’s perspective.
What an awesome trip! I want to go to Austin to see the largest bat colony, because I have an intense far off bats and birds and all thing swoop-y,and I think it will be good therapy!
A road trip up the east coast would be wondrous!
I want to go to Iran and see Persepolis. Definitely have pistachios there!
When I was a kid we went to this place called The House on the Rock somewhere in Wisconsin. I remember rooms and rooms of weird collections and oddities. I would love to drive back up there some day and see if it really is as crazy as I remember, or if it was just my childish view!
There is a statue of John Coltrane in…wait for it…High Point, NC. I’ve driven past it twice when I visited that city but I’ve never been able to stop there. I’d like to stop there and maybe shake the statue’s hand and thank the statue, on John’s behalf, for the song “Impressions”, which is the coolest jazz song I’ve ever played.
And there’s an international jazz and blues festival there in September. International, people!
The Bruce Peninsula in Ontario. There’s a groundhog day groundhog (Wiarton Willie) with a giant statue in his honour and then loads of shipwrecks off the coast. And rattlesnakes (which are exotic to us).
I want to road trip to South Dakota to see the Corn Palace. (http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2215) My parents went to Sturgis and stopped there and the pictures were too cool. A huge building made of corn, with all these colorful designs. I heard there are also some random and wonderfully weird places to check out along the route there, so it’s be like the northern version of your road trip. (I stopped at a lot of the same places you did when I moved to LA from Ohio- I remember seeing all the Thing billboards and thinking we really should stop to check it out, but we just kept driving. I do want to know what the Thing is…)
I want to go to Alaska in the winter so I can go dog sledding, see the Aurora Borealis, and reenact scenes from the Golden Compass. (I’m pretty sure Hunter S. Tomcat is my dæmon.) Oh, and test my theory that I am pale enough to get magnetosphere burn. (Does Blue Lizard make anything for that?)
I tried this in Iceland 2 years ago, but utterly blew it. For starters, it was July…oops. So no Golden Compass opportunities, and no dogs, but we did get to ride the world’s tiniest horses. (Don’t call them Icelandic “ponies.” Those people will cut you.) I know I would have gotten a Midnight Sunburn when I went snorkeling in the 34 F water in the continental divide between North America and Eurasia, if I hadn’t been wearing a dry suit.
If the Northern Lights are “lit” but no one can see them because everything else is also light, do I still look disproportionately smug for someone wearing a human-shaped sleeping bag?
http://tinyurl.com/smug-lady
On a more sober note, we just lost our 18 y.o. orange tabby, Rufus, Monday. (Or, to be more precise, Rufus Fire, middle name, On. He had his own theme song.) Grieving is the freakin’ worst. That’s what led me here. I always see comments from people who just lost their cats. So, when I lost my cat, I knew I was supposed to come here. Thanks for giving me something sweet and silly to think about. Always. But especially today.
I grew up in Arizona and never made it to the Grand Canyon. It is bad form to just copy your trip?? (My husband has been begging to go to Antelope Canyon too, he’ll be so jealous!)
I’d love to go anywhere that has puffins! they are so darned cute!!! We visited Smokey the Bear park/museum 2 years ago, on the way to Roswell, NM. Sorry we missed the NM town w/ the tortilla w/ the image of the virgin Mary on it (if it hasn’t been eaten/destroyed).
OMG those pictures are glorious!!!
I can’t wait for my husband to read this article. This is the trip he’s been wanting to take
My coworker here says I should mention that I am allergic to the sun – I have PLE (http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/polymorphous-light-eruption/basics/definition/con-20030452) so essentially the Sun acts like poison ivy unless I wear awesome sun block. I bet Blue Lizard would do the trick.
I’d like to take the train again from Uluru-Kata Tjuta National Park to Melbourne in Australia. The tracks got kind of wonky in the heat so the trip took a long time or stopped altogether occasionally.
The weird and not-in-a-good-way part was the bathroom: I distinctly remember that the toilet and sink were all one large pedestal contraption. Depending on the lever you pushed, you were either standing at a sink to wash/brush or sitting/standing at a toilet. I was pretty horrified every time I had to go in there, which was often on what felt like a two-week long trip, but was only three days or so. They didn’t post signs about not drinking the water because what were you supposed to brush your teeth with anyway? My husband doesn’t remember this, but he’s a guy, right, and can not pee or wash/brush for years.
No goats, ostriches or penis rocks, but definitely kangaroos in the morning mist.
So I’d like to revisit that waking nightmare and the Blue Lizard sunscreen would be really handy because Australia. And in case I need to hop off the train when it stops, again, to find a bush under that impossibly strong sun.
Your trip looked like fun. I’m fairly sure you’d have enjoyed this one, too. Thanks for sponsoring the giveaway.
My friends and I want to take a road trip to go to the Whoopie Pie Festival because who doesn’t love whoopie……..and pie!
I want to see the Northern Lights, but I think they only come out at night so sun screen might be pointless but i also think that it’s ALWAYS night where they come out so maybe if BluLizzard had some kind of nighttime sunscreen or moonscreen it could work but then I’d have to find a cat-sitter which is turning out to be a drag and is why we never go anywhere but i LIKE being at my home better than anywhere else anyway so maybe all I need is an Airstream motor home so we could take the cats with us like in the book “Mickey Sees the U.S.A” but Mickey didn’t have any cats with him and I don’t think mice, dogs or ducks used sunscreen in 1944.
This summer I’m taking my kids to House on the Rock after they finish reading American Gods. But I want to go to the Florida Keys, because I want to see teeny tiny Key Deer, drive over that hugely long bridge that will probably make me pee my pants because bridges freak me out, and see Hemmingway’s 6-toed cats. I hear you can really use sunscreen in Florida.
I want to drive along the west coast, see the giant redwoods, Yosemite national park, Napa valley and continue into Oregon and Washington and any other national parks out that way.
For international travel I would live to get to Scotland, nothing like a man in a kilt…in my opinion.
I want to go to Alabama. Because it is the only state in the lower 48 that I’ve never been to. And I feel like that’s an oversight that I should correct.
I want to take my kids on a road trip to see their grandparents in the Idaho panhandle. Beautiful scenery!
Thanks for sharing your awesome trip! I want to go to Mt. Rainier or Mauna Loa to see volcanoes and the “Liquid hot magma. (Dr. Evil)
I want to drive along the west coast, see the giant redwoods, Yosemite national park, Napa valley and continue into Oregon and Washington and any other national parks out that way.
For international travel I would live to get to Scotland, nothing like a man in a kilt…in my opinion.
I really really want to visit pictured rocks in Michigan.
I want to go to Foster Falls in TN . . it’s a gorgeous waterfall with a lagoon. But I’m super, super white so I’d need sunscreen for the hike!
I agree that the Grand Canyon is a big hole in the ground. I also agree that’s it’s pretty, but yeah. 🙂
I’ve driven from the East Coast to the middle (Philadelphia to Minneapolis) and a big loop through eight states in the Southwest, and I’ve taken the train across the country and back, but someday I’d really like to drive across the country.
I would love to take a road trip like in The Great Typo Hunt, where I could combine my two favorite things: seeing new places and correcting people’s poor grammar and spelling.
Crater Lake in southern Oregon. Just because.
I have a young son and I feel that an all-American road trip to find ridiculous and interesting things would be a vital to his development as a human being.
Mars. I hear Olympus Mons is beautiful this time of year. BUT, since I guess you can’t drive to Mars, (thanks Reaganomics) I guess I’d do a Roller Derby US tour and see as many bouts as I could in as many states as I could. (It’s kind of my thing, ergo the blog: https://skatesandscars.com/)
I would like to take a road trip on Route 66 which sounds like a lot more fun than the usual road trip where we visit my in-laws.
In a perfect world, I would road trip to the Area 51 Alien Travel Center and Brothel in Nevada. So much mystery, so many questions…
Obviously to play to your sponsor AND be awesomely interesting at the same time, I would organize a road trip all around seeing different kinds of Lizards / reptiles! It would bring you to interesting places, AND be educational, AND require sunscreen AND perhaps my two year old would finally let me shampoo his hair without a fight. I’m not sure how the road trip would help with shampooing, but I’ll try anything at this point, including allowing a large reptile to apply shampoo to his head.
AND apparently reptiles are declining worldwide at an alarming rate: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3800809/ so this could help bring visibility to that awful situation. #winning
Must get out to Roswell, N.M. to see the UFO museum, and maybe get me some real alien DNA. Then mosey on over to Ruidoso, just because I like to say Ruidoso, and I understand that there is a collection of life-sized statues of wild horses running through the town. Extra special if I could climb up on one of the stallions and pretend I’m Shotgun Sally taking over the town. That would be my Christmas card pic for the next 50 years. Yup, that’s my fantasy trip, for sure.
This sounds like such a fun trip! My two kiddos are little right now, so I think a beach trip or a trip to Chattanooga (to ride the choo-choo and see the aquarium) would be more our speed, but I’m putting the Grand Canyon on the radar for a few years down the road.
JENNY!!!! I have it. I would love to visit Olney, Illinois. You know why? Because of Albino Squirrels. This city has an abnormal amount of albino squirrels. They even have the right of way. And if I go see the squirrels I can slather them in blue lizard sunscreen because I hear that albinos burn easily. Or if you go send a bunch of pictures so that I can live vicariously through you!
Three of the Top Ten Elevators in the World are in the USA, and they are perfectly situated for a cross-country road trip. Starting in the borough of Queens, NYC, there’s the famous Dragon Elevator in the Long Island City Business Center (head to the back of the lobby, follow signs to the freight elevator); 955 miles to the west/two-day drive is the Gateway Arch in St. Louis (MO), whose elevator is both esthetically and kinetically peculiar: it lurches (due to its being inside an arch) and is an artifact of what the space age used to look like c. 1951 — all white and modular. From St. Louis, take Route 66 for 1,350 miles to Flagstaff (AZ) — this being “The Mother Road”, you’ll probably want to make a few stops along the way, take in historic sights such as the world’s largest concrete totem pole in Foyil, Oklahoma. From Flagstaff, take a three-hour drive to Las Vegas and check in at the Luxor, a 30-story pyramid at the south end of the Strip whose “inclinators” travel diagonally, meaning that the ride consists of alternating sensations of upward and sideway movements. Fun!
Y’all, I want to go on a west coast cat cafe tour (see http://www.eater.com/maps/cat-cafes-from-coast-to-coast). One, I’d get to see a bunch of stuff in states I’ve only passed through (CA) or not visited, and two, CAT CAFES! If that’s not a reason to road trip, I don’t know what is. 🙂
Looks like you guys had a lot of…fun? Sunscreen is SO important and I wear it everyday – cancer is bad. I would love to go visit that city built entirely out of legos; Madurodam in Holland…..so weird and awesome.
My friend and I are currently planning a road trip from Nashville, TN to the Florida keys. We’ve been googling our little hearts our trying to find the weirdest things along the route that we can stop and visit. Including the UFO house in Pensacola. It’s a bit of a reroute but only tacked on an hour to our to the drive time. I’m definitely going to check out roadsideamerica.com. The ultimate goal of our trip is Hemingway’s Home so we can visit the 6 toed cats.
That trip looks amaze balls! Very educational about “things”, my 8 year old daughter would love to see all that strange stuff, we are an odd bunch ourselves!
My autistic daughter is fascinated by mummies. She also thinks going for long rides in the car is awesome (and it’s calming for her). So, I would like to take her on a long road trip to wherever the mummies are.
I want to see the Bay of Fundy. Walk on the ocean floor at low tide and see the giant ocean come crashing in at high tide. Magnificent.
I want to go to Roswell NM and see all the amazingly tacky alien shit!
I have a friend who lives in (comparatively) nearby Truth or Consequences (which was actually named after the TV show) whom I haven’t seen in years, and this would be a great excuse to visit as we are both Science Fiction fans. I would promise to wear light-up deely-bopper-antennae the entire trip (except for in the car, as they would mess up the rental car ceiling. And they would probably chafe while sleeping, so maybe I haven’t thought this through sufficiently, but I would make a valiant effort to do so wherever people could see us.)
There is also a really sad 60s vintage Spaceport America near TorC that would make for a good visit. And a dam named after an elephant butt! (OK, they spell it “Butte” but I suspect that’s just fancy talk to impress the tourists). And hot springs that are supposed to have “ancient healing properties” but I think they are probably radioactive or something. (then maybe we wouldn’t need the deely-boppers)
back in summer of 1995 I was getting over a breakup and just got on the road and started driving. I lived in Lakeland, Florida at the time and just started driving. I was on I-75 but then decided to go up I-95, still I didn’t have a destination in mind but thought the further I got away from the woman I was trying to forget the better off I’d be. It started to get dark and I needed to find a hotel (long before cell phones and hotel apps on phones and google maps) so I stopped at an exit. They said they had no vacancies and there was a horse show and I’d probably need to go a few more miles down the interstate to find a hotel. I ended up finding one further down and just wanted to sleep. The next morning I started to look at the brochures in the hotel room and one of the area’s biggest attractions was the Biltmore Estate. I kept looking and said hmmm, I need to check this out. For those of you that don’t know the Biltmore estate is the largest privately owned house in the United States, it was constructed between 1889-1895 and is amazing. The grounds are amazing. Originally it had 125,000 acres around the house back when it was constructed, today it still has 8,000 acres. It has a wonderful winery, two Inns and many outdoor activities. I ended up going there many, many times after I stumbled upon it in 1995. In 2009 I saw Rick Springfield in concert there on the back lawn and was in the front row. In 2013 my wife and I got married there in the champagne cellar and have beautiful wedding pictures (I’d attach some if I could) and this year I’m going back in August for another Rick Springfield concert with Night Ranger and the Romantics. My road trip in 1995 has led me to a life long enjoyment of the Biltmore estate. In August is my next road trip up there.
I want to take my daughter to see water shoot into the air like it just don’t care (aka Yellowstone Park). She’s almost 16 and will be going to college soon. I am hoping to show her how fun seeing our country is by driving through it, all the while protected by awesome Lizard sunscreen because we are very, very fair skinned people.
I have always wanted to take my kids to a dude ranch… mostly so I can call them dude and flash a peace sign and they will be legally required (I think) to not roll their eyes or call me lame
I have always wanted to go see/experience the Narcisse Snake Pits, North of the town Narcisse, Manitoba, CANADA. I love snakes and there in spring the Garter Snakes, very gentle snakes, come out of their den in droves!! I would love to be able to sit on a rock near by and have hundreds of snakes slither all over me and see them up close. They do this really cool thing of rolling into balls of snakes for mating. I think Father’s day is a bit confusing at their house, LMAO! I also lust over your taxidermic Raccoon, he is so awesome!
Ostriches are the assholes of the bird world, which says something, because geese are part of that same bird world. Glad you had a good time! I’d go see the Northern LIghts.
I’d love to go to Ireland! Sorry, Blue Lizard, that destination doesn’t provide a need for sunscreen very often. That’s exactly the reason why I want to go there, because I have a mid-life onset of Vampirism. I am not yet at the drinking blood for sustenance stage, but I do break out in hives when I’m out in the sun for 30+ minutes. So, yay, Blue Lizard Sunscreen! Choose me, and I’ll be your extreme-cases test subject! Screw Ireland! Slather me up and send to me Acapulco!
There is a defunct Wizard of Oz theme park in North Carolina that I want to see. Clearly this calls for a road trip!
I would love to take my boys on a road trip! I have often thought about taking my boys to the cities that I grew up in (Raleigh and Cincinnati) to give them a frame of reference for why Mom acts weird sometimes.
Wow, I would love to load up the family and take everyone to Gettysburg. I was able to take a guided tour there forever ago and everyone was fascinated by the knowledge I brought back.
I have wanted to go to New Zealand for the last three decades, but I hate flying. Maybe I can get to NZ by boat?
Oh oh oh! That statue of a torture victim, from 18th century Italy? Was it made of wax? It might have actually been an anatomical wax figure made for medical students to learn from!!! I am studying these right now and writing a conference paper on them! They made FULL ON NUDE LADIES called “anatomical venuses” that are all pretty and they used real human hair but then you can OPEN UP THE TORSO and take out all the organs! And they also made diseased and deformed and injured body parts, faces with all sorts of deformities, and even models of genitalia showing the effects of various sexually transmitted diseases!!! So I don’t know for certain, but that guy you saw might actually have been an educational tool!
This is a vague travel request, because I’m already getting to go to the MORBID ANATOMY MUSEUM in New York City this weekend, but I would love to go to London, because my main area of study is Victorian literature, and I could do SOOOOO MUCH there!
Oh, and if any of you haven’t been to the Abita Mystery House in Abita Springs, LA outside of New Orleans, do yourself a favor. Seriously, it’s like it was designed specifically with this tribe in mind.
Our next door neighbors are related to the owner and they are always offering us a “VIP tour.” (Super intrigued by what that must entail, but my social anxiety keeps stopping me from accepting.)
Jenny, let me know if you want in on this next time you’re in the area. (The VIP tour, not the social anxiety. As I understand it, you’re full up.) It’s the least I can do. A little gesture for all the times you read your books to me over my headphones when I needed help falling asleep.
This summer I’m pregnant which makes road trips slightly more difficult but I would love to take a trip to someplace with a beach. California maybe!
Is like to see some of the rocks and whatnot that my friend keeps teasing us with pics of from Colorado. Which is BIGTIME because I kinda hate the outdoors. According to Hubs, my favorite thing to do outside is go inside.
I want to take our boys camping and hiking all through Yellowstone or Glacier National Park. We live fairly close and have never gone. Hopefully we’ll make it this Summer!
Hmm interesting trips….. if had time or $$$$ I would like to take a train trip across the country. Just too what you can see.
Colleen Lucas
We are totes going to Kentucky Stonehenge in a few weeks. Actually, we’re going to Mammoth Cave to wander around in the dark with lanterns but when I found out that Kentucky Stonehenge was a thing I very nearly cancelled the whole cave schmave nonsense thing and started planning the massive side trip(s.) Plus we’re going to a place called Kentucky Down Under where I guess we get to feed kangaroos with our mouths?! I don’t need no stinking cave, y’all! I do, however, need some crazy KY side trips. My husband swears the cave is haunted so I guess I’m in..
I would go to San Francisco and visit both the zoo and the Steinhart Aquarium. While there, I would try to convince the animals that freedom isn’t everything and that they should be happy in prison, while secretly plotting with the bears on hiw to get the penguins past security. Those darn penguins can really turn a smooth operation into a total cluster.
I’d have to agree that driving from the middle of TX through to the “west” is at LEAST 480 days. Excellent idea flying to El Paso first. Anyway, I too am looking at going to the Grand Canyon again and that Antelope Canyon looked mighty cool too. Thanks for sharing!
The Gilroy (CA) Garlic Festival. Yes, that’s a real thing (http://gilroygarlicfestival.com/).
I want to go to this museum in Florida dedicated to the man who invented air conditioning. Because thank you, dude. You shoudl truly have your own holiday. http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/237
I want an ultimate Rock and Roll road trip!!! I need to see Graceland before I die! I love Elvis so much but have yet to get there, and then I would go to New Orleans because BEIGNETS.
Ooooooh this is perfect!! I’ve always wanted to go to the New England Carousel Museum in CT. It may seem silly but seriously go have a look at all those insane horse faces and tell me it doesn’t seem like some kind of crazy PETA ‘don’t be cruel to animals’ campaign. The horses with the crazy eyes and the lolling tongues. That is the stuff that childhood memories are made of people, at least if you’re parenting right I think, or something like that!
I love road trips but I want to take a long train trip where I can get off the train and visit interesting town and then get back on the train to head to another town. I’d do a road trip but you can’t see much when you are driving. I don’t have a Victor and my cat refuses to drive.
I want to go to Prince Edward Island for the seafood, red sand beaches, lighthouses and of course Anne of Green Gables.
I use an online free app called RoadTrippers. You can plan a road trip and search for things along the way with categories like: Offbeat Attractions, Abandoned, Spooky Places, as well as more normal categories. My family thinks I’m nuts but I LOVE the offbeat attractions! Ohio is on my road trip list and a few of the offbeat attractions I’d like to see are the Hardman Rock Gardens (self-taught artists construct fascinating worlds out of concrete, metal, stone, and whatever else they can find.) “Cornhenge (consists of 109 concrete ears of corn positioned in rows and standing upright in a grassy field.),and Frankenstein’s Castle (haunted).
Well shit. Now I just have to go see the big veiny hands, not to mention find out what THE THING is. Now you’ve COMPLETELY ruined my life. Thanks a TON Blue Lizard. Thanks a ton.
I’d love to go to NoLa and see the cemeteries and then drive up to Georgia and nose around. A lot of books I’ve loved over the years take place in those two areas and it would be fascinating to see them in person.
Washington DC is over run with black squirrels, so you should totally do both places in one trip because symbolism or something.
I’d like to go to Colonial Williamsburg…for the wigs. The sweet, sweet wiggage.
I would go on a road trip with my kids through New England in fall. I have always wanted to see this part of the US.
Kind of boring, but I would just go to Brown County, Indiana and stay in one of the awesome log cabins that are available to rent. I used to do that with family members when I was younger.
Definitely Meteor Crater. It’s a huge f-you to the cosmos that whatever they throw at Earth, the cockroaches, scorpions and rattlesnakes will still be here.
We’re on a pretty awesome road trip right now, but we haven’t gotten sunscreen yet, so the discount will come in handy. So would a gift card, because we’re only a third of the way through our year-long attempt to visit a church and a bar (and, if possible, a movie theater) in all 50 states. We’re driving a 2006 minivan, so anything could happen.
I want to see Carhenge in Nebraska. Like Stonehenge but with cars. Really.
Trippin thru the Grand Tetons because, duh, how fun is that to say?!?!?
Teton, Teee-tons, Te-tonnnnns…teton, teton, teton
Try it. Say it to someone. First they look at you like you said something a little naughty. Then you tell them it’s a national park in Wyoming and impress the hell out of them and get to feel all superior for the rest of the day.
I want to go see the Largest Ball of Twine!
I like the kind of road trip where someone else drives and I play on my phone and DJ the radio the whole time. And at the end we get out and there’s a beach to lay on a lot. I’m thinking that’s not so much a “road trip”. But we would definitely need lots of sunscreen! Does that count?
You took a trip through my home state and where I am currently calling home and saw all the cool things! Except I didn’t see Carlsbad Caverns or aliens on your agenda. Slacker.
Personally I want to do a road trip to the Clown Motel in Tonopah, NV. It’s creepy as shit AND has a view of a graveyard. What could possibly go wrong?! My daughter absolutely refuses to go with me, and it’s totally a place that you have to have someone with you to truly experience and share all the wonder that awaits. Plus someone to scare the shit out of by popping out of the bathroom first thing in the morning dressed as Pennywise. https://roadtrippers.com/stories/americas-scariest-motel-haunted-by-hundreds-of-clowns?lat=40.80972&lng=-96.67528&z=5
I want to take a trip to Louisiana and tour plantations.
I’ve lived in Arizona 21 years & still haven’t gotten to see the Grand Canyon. LOL, you go Girl! 🙂
one of my dream trips, would be to see Yosemite national park & the giant redwoods & giant sequoias, then traveling up into Banff national park. if I could, I would time it to see the aurora borealis. I have no qualms about seeing every quirky thing in between. in fact, quirly would make a great name for a rock band. hey look! a squirrel!
I’d love to see Stonehenge, but that probably isn’t in the cards at the minute. Probably something more attainable at the minute would be Key West. Thanks for the opportunity!
I kinda want to go to the seedy underbelly and weird sites in Los Angeles… Because hey, Mammoth Chunks. http://www.welikela.com/off-beat-weird-attractions-los-angeles/
I would love to go see my sister in Salt Lake City! I may scare the Mormons, but it would be worth it.
I want to go and give birth in the world’s largest hand dug well in Greensburg Kansas. Then, emerge, victorious, babe in arms, from” the world’s largest hand dug womb” as my family and I will forever think of it. Thanks for the freak show road trip post!
cihloff@yahoo.com
I want to go someplace majestic! I don’t even know where! Indiana is so FLAT. Some place with waterfalls. A majestic, waterfall-y type place.
I really really want to go see that hotel that inspired Stephen King’s The Shining…even if there are no ghostly sightings imagine the fun you could have doing Jack Nicholson impressions! REDRUM…
I personally don’t care where I go, as long as it involves a trip to THE THING. I must admit, I am extremely jealous that you got to go. I grew up in AZ and we would pass signs for THE THING on the road, and all four of us kids would beg to stop and see THE THING. We tried to use well-modulated, non-whiny tones and would carefully formulate an argument as to why we should stop and see THE THING. Because I was the oldest, wisest (and least whiny child), I naturally was the spokesman for the four of us. We finally caught on that when a parent responds with “we’ll see” to one of our requests (fireworks displays, county fairs, state fairs, THE THING, etc) it usually means “no fucking way will we be going, but if I say no outright the (non-whiny) begging and pleading will continue and I am pretty sure that a ‘we’ll see’ will make you shut your pie holes for at least another 400 miles”. (Thank you for listening to what has turned out to be a therapy session.) P.S. The fact that you took your daughter to see THE THING means that you are doing parenting right. And also taking her to RenFest and letting her do all that cool shit with unicorns and dueling. I’m sure YOU won’t ever say “we’ll see”. xo
That sounds like a great trip! I would love to visit Kansas City to continue my tour of every Major League Baseball park in America.
I have always wanted to see the Grand Canyon. Your trip looks amazing!
would love to go see Glacier National park in Montana. and Washington has a full size replica of Stonehenge that is totally cool:)
I guess it’s silly, but I’d love to go stand with my feet in two different time zones. Or go to Senoia, GA and stalk, I mean “maybe see” the cast of The Walking Dead. But I’d have more luck trying to stand in 2 different time zones, I think.
I always wanted to visit the South Pole, the exact South Pole and that way I could stand in all the time zones at the same time. I’d Be A TIME LORD! Tokyo? Yeah, I’m in your time. New York? Yeah, I’m in your time too! Honolulu? You bet, I’m in your time, at the exact same time! All 24 hours at once. It would be so cool, freezing your ass off and “isn’t this the greatest thing in the world” cool at the same time.
I’ve always wanted to go to Vienna. No particular reason.
Howdy, also from Texas here. Hmmm, a road trip. My fiancé and I were initially going to get married at Thorncrown Chapel in Eureka Springs Arkansas but had to bring the wedding back to Huntsville (the Texas one, not the cool, mountainous, lots of engineers and math nerds Alabama one) because of family who couldn’t travel due to changing jobs and not being able to access vacay time for 6 months. So I’d kind of like to take him to the chapel anyway at some point in the future because it looks truly beautiful from the pics and why wouldn’t it? Would a tourist attraction ever put up ugly pics of itself? Doubtful.
Also, I’d like to take my 4-year-old son to ride the train that runs between Rusk and Palestine, TX, the Texas State Railroad. A bonus for this trip is that I think they do have bandits who board the train at some point to rob everyone AND there are wine and dine trips available too so there’s booze somewhere on the train to be found.
Lastly (maybe), I drove through Roundtop, Texas recently and it was a cute, funky collection of antique stores and buildings. After getting home, I looked it up and they hold big antique festivals. Plus, I saw an old Chief Big Mac Climber from a McDonalds play place sitting in a field, faded and sacreligiously rusting. For all of us early millenials and older, this was the hamburger on top of a column with bars. You would enter the column through a hole, climb steel rungs up to another hole and then climb around or sit around inside the bars of the hamburger. It was my favorite of the play place equipment. Not gonna lie, if they don’t want too much money for it, I’d totally buy it, try to restore it, and put it in the back yard. Plus, it’ll be good motivation to try to lose weight so that I can once again squeeze myself into the structure just like old times (I would absolutely try and would probably have to be cut from the structure when I inevitably became stuck).
I want to see the potato museum in Idaho. Because random museums are my spirit animal. Potatoes are my spirit vegetable (is that a thing? I’m making it a thing.)
I really want to take a trip through the New England states in the fall. The only downfall is that people rave about the seafood, and I do not eat seafood….of any kind. (I will eat fish). I just kinda feel like I wouldn’t be getting the full experience, you know?
I want to go to Cat Island in Japan! 100 humans live there and are vastly outnumbered by cats. There is a cat shrine, and cat shaped cabins for tourists to stay in!
My husband really wants to drive and camp along the whole coast of California. I agreed because there is wine there. Plus, ocean which we don’t have in Minnesota.
Text exchange with my kid who is on a road trip across the country. (from last year)
Me: Let us know where you’re at when you get stopped for the night.
Jake: I’m driving in a barren landscape of grass and the occasional grove of trees. There is no indication of any civilization here. Coming to Nebraska was a very boring decision.
Me: Nebraska has the Kool-Aid museum. Lucky you.
Jake: That’s so stupid I might actually go to that.
Me: Same city. Hastings. You can go see the grave of Andy the Footless Goose. He used to wear shoes.
Jake: Is Nebraska even real?
Me: If you go through Omaha, there are several Diner’s Drive Ins and Dives restaurants you can try. You can also visit the 15 foot tall fork with pasta and a bronze statue of Chef Boyardee.
Jake: Please stop. I can’t handle this.
Me: So much awesomeness. I’ll leave you alone with it all. Love you.
P.S. He went to the Kool-Aid museum. We have pictures. He pushed a button on the wall next to the Kool-Aid man display and almost had to change his shorts after the speakers screamed out, “Oh YEAH!” Totally worth the price of admission.
P.P.S. I want a picture of Andy, The Footless Goose.
P.P.P.S. I found out Andy was ultimately murdered by a deranged fan/stalker/serial goose killer. I’ll bet his ghost haunts his memorial. We should go check.
THAT is my dream trip. Bucket list is small. Arizona, Utah, New Mexico trip in a really nice bus/ Winnebago thingy would be awesome!
Try the Tabasco Ice Cream while you’re there. It’s actually delicious. Plus, while you’re on the island, you can visit Jungle Gardens. One of the McIlhenny kids fancied himself a botanist and made this huge nature preserve. It’s got a snowy egret preserve that is amazing during mating season.
It also features an enormous 900 year old Buddha statue, which is enjoyable if you can get past the cringe-inducing explanations you’ll come up with to explain just what the hell a religious artifact from China, circa 1100 CE (or 887 Before Kirk Cameron Went Crazy), has been doing on Avery Island since the 1930s.
I’m planning on going to Rise in Nevada. It’s a lantern release where you can write your fears/anxieties/wishes on a lantern and send it away into the night. It’s beautiful! Like that scene in Tangled!
I have a lot of anxiety (I carry my Xanax with me just in case!) so this is perfect for me! But also terrifying. Out in the desert, in the middle of nowhere with thousands of strangers and the hospital is 20 minutes away. Lots of triggers for me. But I want to face my fears! I want to be strong! I can do this!
I want to see the world’s largest ball of string and judge myself, because being judgy is where its at. So far the world can’t decide and they have split this pie down to the last fiber – world’s largest ball of twine, world’s largest ball of sisal twine, world’s largest ball of string, world’s largest ball of nylon string and more, And Kansas, Mo, Minnesota, WI, all claim the title. And speaking of pies, I’ve already done this one – it’s fantastic. World’s largest cherry pie.
I saw this on Thrillist last year, and had it bookmarked ever since. When I retire, I’m getting an RV and making an epic road trip!!!
https://www.thrillist.com/travel/nation/weird-roadside-attractions-strangest-road-trip-sights
I’m yearning for a trip to Lily Dale in New York, a town packed with mediums and spiritualists who talk to folks on the other side. I miss my people from the other side, and I want to know what they’re up to. Plus, hanging with spiritualists is like a trip on a party bus, yo.
I want to see the Redwood Forest! Maybe we could start a story…Redwood Forest… Blue Lizard Sunscreen…seems there is a theme here…
I would like to visit the largest ball of twine in Kansas. Why? I have no idea.
I am so boring, but I want to see Niagara Falls!
This trip sounds amazing- I love finding odd things on trips. We haven’t taken one that was ‘let’s find something weird on the way’ since I was a teenager, which is how we discovered ‘Gator Land’ (it’s a giant Alligator head filled with alligators. It’s amazing.) , and now my little sister is graduating high school. Time flies. I know if we could take another trip we’d head for Florida Caverns State Park, where there are caves! And bats! And a cool Spring! and on the way hopefully we’d hit St. Augustine, since I have lived in florida my whole life and I still haven’t been there. I want ghost tours. And lots of weird animals. Another stop at Gatorland maybe?
My family and I are immigrants from Japan. (Which is amusing because I am actually American). Anyway, second year of living in America, my 10 year old son has fallen in love with American Civil War History. I find it funny because he lived in a country famous for history that is older than America’s history as a country. He doesn’t ‘t care about the Japanese feudal castles in his hometown or traveling to a ninja amusement park BUT take him to a Civil War battle site and he is furiously happy! We currently live near the Missouri and Arkansas border so he has gotten to see some amazing sites, like the Battle of Carthage, but he wants to travel and see some other sites further away like Gettysburg and such. I think it would be an amazing road trip to take him to other battle sites in the eastern states.
Outer Banks in North Carolina and Napa Valley are 2 places I’d love to visit. Oh, and New England in the fall. Hopefully at least one of those happens this year!
Last month we drove past Meteor Crater AZ on our way back to Chicago from Vegas. Long trip? Yes. Blew up car enroute? Yes. Met strange and particularly threatening folks enroute? DUH. Eventually got back home? YEP. Sunscreen? …NOPE. And now my doctor is mumbling something about skin cancer, not being a kid, giving up my Lucky Charms and cartoons habit… He’s an asshole. I need a new doctor.
I would love to go back to Mackinaw Island, Michigan because I’ve only been there once and it was ruined because a: I was with my mom who has ADD and she had already been there so she just dragged us around past all of the things she had already seen and b: I got my period and couldn’t go horseback riding because I had no tampons. (Truth.)
New Orleans or Savannah Georgia, so many ghost tours!
I want to visit Yellowstone before the supervolcano erupts and takes the world with it!
We’ve had to keep postponing thiis trip due to money and unexpected life events, but we plan to visit the redwoods and then travel upon the coast to see tide pools. We’d love it, and think our kids will, too!
Iceland! because knitting! and sheep! Northern Lights! Hot springs! cats! If I go in winter I might not even need sunscreen? Maybe a tinfoil hat for the northern lights though.
Would love for our family to drive out to House on the Rock. (We’ve been before, but that was long enough ago that our memories feel like they may actually be half-remembered fever dreams – or perhaps hallucinations).
For folks who haven’t visited House on the Rock, it is a testament to how spite, obsession, and possibly a hint of insanity, can combine to create something breathtaking and beautiful. The story is that Alex Jordan, Jr. was an aspiring architect in Wisconsin, and one day drove out to Taliesin to show one of his designs to Frank Lloyd Wright. Wright was dismissive, and Jordan immediately resolved to build his own house, close enough to Taliesin that Wright would see it and have to acknowledge Jordan’s genius.
The original house, on top of a nearby bluff, was distinctive enough that people kept showing up to look around. Eventually, the reclusive Jordan started to charge admission to keep people away.
But they kept coming.
Which gave Jordan the money to indulge his compulsion for collecting, and the original House grew to keep pace with the collections, eventually becoming a sprawling complex of loosely-connected buildings, throughout the property.
Mechanical orchestras feature prominently throughout the compound, but there are also collections of vintage Americana, model planes, and a multi-story diorama of two sea monsters locked in combat (no, really).
I think it’s been too long since our family was completely besieged by that kind of wonderful craziness.
I want to take my son on a roadtrip down Route 66. The original one. And end up in California to swim in the ocean..as long as it’s not too cold. I’m from Texas. Swimming water needs to be at least 80 degrees to swim in otherwise hypothermia sets in. Not good.
Sorry my state is so weird and holy. Wait… hole-y? Cuz it’s sure as hell not the other (pun totally intended).
I’ve always wanted to go to England and see Stonehenge or some crazy weird crop circles (created by aliens or farmers in overalls with big push rooms… I’m not picky) but I’ve also wanted to burrow cozily in Georgio Tsoukalos’ hair fort. I’d be happy with either! You think a bribe of $500 would get me the latter?! 😀
Iceland! because knitting! and sheep, lots of wool, strange food, cats, hot springs and the Northern Lights. If I go in January I probably wouldn’t even need sunscreen? Maybe a tinfoil hat though, for the Northern Lights
My husband I want to road trip down US Route 1 by motorcycle. From the top in Maine to the bottom in Florida. You know there is a TON of weird shit to see and do along that route!
I am likely driving across the country (or at least half of it) with my mother at some point this summer. My one goal is to make it to Wall Drug in South Dakota. But I am sure there are all kinds of interesting places to stop in the middle of nowhere while headed from New England to the Pacific Northwest.
I want to see where the Mississippi River originates, which shows I listen to the Indigo Girls too much. (“Now the Mississippi’s might, but it starts in Minnesota at a place that you could walk across with five steps down.”)
Looks like a supremely awesome trip. I want to see it all, except maybe the bullet hole-pocked road sign. That was frightening – you’re lucky to be alive. Blue Lizard – Take me to see the Corn Palace. Always a crowd pleaser and a must see on any trip out west.
I missed seeing the tenement museum in NYC in the eight (!) years my son lived there and I visited occasionally. Want to go see it.
My girlfriend and I are doing a THIRTY EIGHT HOUR road trip within a 9 day span this summer because obviously if you can survive 38 hours in a car together you can survive anything right? We are driving from DC to Toronto to Niagara Falls to ATLANTA (killer long part) and then back to DC to die in bed until I run out of sick days vacationing from our vacation. We have a few things planned but are mostly looking forward to the roadside THINGS that catch our attention and make us loose hours upon hours looking at things we never knew existed and will never see again and will make most people question what we are doing with our lives. Loosely planned road trips are the best!
Rabbit Island.
I probably don’t need to say more than that, but in Japan? The island of Ōkunoshima is bristling with “feral” rabbits that are so tame they will literally mob you with adorableness if they think you have food. There are numerous videos of this and I have a mighty need.
We would like to take a trip to Boca Raton, FL where my angel son Austin has a turtle adopted in his memory at Gumbo Limbo Rescue Center. Plus, his father, aunt and uncle live there and it would be wonderful to be able to visit. His 6 month passing is this Sunday 05/22..
I’ve seen The Thing!! I was on a road trip from AZ to KS with my mom and grandma. The Thing was only $.75 then, and they wouldn’t even cough up that much to see it. Philistines! Anyway, The Thing was okay, but the rest of the stuff was way weirder, and therefore cooler.
As far as places to visit, I’d like to take my mom to San Francisco. It’s on her bucket list, along with Japan, but neither of us can afford Japan.
I desperately want to go to Iceland. They have both glaciers and volcanos!
I get the chance to go see my son & family in Hawaii and we want to go to the World’s Largest Plant Maze in Wahiawa, then the Kaumana Lava Tubes in Hilo and the ultimate stairmaster, Koko Crater Trail – straight up old rail ties. We love the adventures! Since we are so fair complected, we would DEFINITELY use the Blue LIzard Australian Sunscreen!
I want to take my kids to Washington DC.
I’d love to road trip to Nova Scotia! So fun. Your post is hilarious!
My husband and I live in Utah and recently took a 24 hour trip to see a bunch of Utah ghost towns. It was incredible, and we’re dying to hit up the other end of Utah for all the ghost towns we missed! I’d also like to gift my husband with a trip to Vernal, as he’s a huge dinosaur buff and we still haven’t been somehow. Road Trip!
I want to go to Keeper Hill, the highest point in County Tipperary, Ireland and then to the Mull of Galloway, Scotland.
John Gorrie is my new personal hero. Thank you
One state away, there is an old abandoned Wizard of Oz theme park (creepy and weird, as abandoned theme parks have to be), and they’re opening it back up just to do tours and for people to take photos (the rides are not…operational, probably, or at least not safe, so they’re not going to let people on those. I don’t think.). It would be an excellent weekend roadtrip!
Obviously, I want to go to the town advertising cheese, hip hop and spiritual advice!
My current favorite thing to do when I go to a new city is find the weirdest possible museum to visit. In Reykjavik, Iceland, I went to the Iceland Phallological Museum. (Yes. Penises. Lots of penises.) In Zagreb, Croatia, I sought out the Museum of Broken Dreams, which features items (and their corresponding stories) that people have associated with breakups. Next month when I go to Florence, Italy, I’m deciding between La Specola, which has an impressive collection of anatomically correct wax figures with their guts spilling out and the like, or the Galileo Museum, in which there is a glass jar containing Galileo’s actual severed finger. Decisions, decisions.
I want to go to Dog Mountain. It’s a mountain in Vermont founded by the artist Stephen Huneck, where dogs can run around free and there’s art to see and there’s also a dog chapel especially for people to reflect on dogs who have passed on. It’s beautiful but I’ve never been there and I want to go and bring my dog Harpo and remember my dog Darwin. Here are some pictures http://www.dogmt.com/Dog-Mountain-Images.html.
I’m a humor writer. (Yes, I was at Erma this year with you!) My bucket list includes a cross-country train trip alone … for no other reason than to get on the train, sleep in one of those cool sleeper cars, and write about the experience all the way across the USA and back. I’ve been talking about this since before 2009. Amtrak recently came out with a program for writers to do just this, but I was NOT chosen for the program. I was crushed.
The book of humor essays will be called TRAIN OF THOUGHT, and I’ve already got the cover for the book. I just have to take the trip! SOMEDAY before I die…
Oh, I would definitely need the sunscreen for the observation car with all that sunshine. I burn like leftover pizza in a badly wired toaster oven.
For all you folks planning trips to New Orleans, I highly recommend the UCM Museum (“You see ’em”) in Abita Springs.
I would love to do a New Mexico road trip (pretty easy, since I live in Arizona – aka “home of the really big holes”). But unlike all the people I know who are like “ooh, New Mexico road trip! Let’s go to Santa Fe for art and culture and stuff,” mine would be less culture and more pop culture. I want to go to Albuquerque and drive around and look for all the places from Breaking Bad (I loved that show so very, very much).. I want to go to the Very Large Array, because I am a sci fi geek and it’s been in a bunch of my favorite movies (2010, anyone?). And I want to go to Truth or Consequences because (a) who doesn’t love a town that renamed itself after a quiz show; and (b) Doctor Who.
I would like to move to Vancouver from Ottawa because I have a degenerative nerve condition from dialysis (peripheral neuropathy) so I can’t walk very well. Walking on snow and ice is out of the question as I lose balance and fall before I realize it is happening. Vancouver is mostly snow/ice free so i can get out and exercise the little bit that is possible. Also my Mum lives in Vancouver and I haven’t seen her for years. The prepaid card would be of great help in getting across the continent.
My email is paulccurran@hotmail.com
Thank you so very much for your consideration.
IKEA. I want to go to IKEA. There isn’t one for over 300 miles where I live, and it’s unfair, and I want to go visit IKEA. For like, days on end. I’d bring a small U-Haul with me (obvs), and spend time in the cafe eating famous IKEA meatballs & other cheap yet delicious goodies that I’m always reading about on Pinterest and every web post about IKEA hacks. Then I would spend days in various areas of the store. Starting with the bedroom section. I’ll try out every room, bring some reading material, maybe my tablet so I can watch a few movies once I move to the living room area & start sampling couches. When I get to the kitchen area, obviously I would bring a friend or two to sit down over a cuppa with me so that I could properly figure out which tables/chairs/placemats/silverware that I most prefer.
Basically, I want to take a vacation TO and INSIDE an IKEA. Because I’m a cool DIY’er, and I also love the challenge of putting together cheap furniture with unintelligible directions. Really and truly, it sounds like a dream. Please, Blue Lizard, send me to the make-it-yourself funland that is IKEA!
(Also…since you may be thinking, “but wait, this girl could never use our sunscreen in the great land that is IKEA, bc it is an indoors facility…let me assure you: my medical condition requires me to stay out of the sun, lest I burn (which I do, easily), so I would HAVE to use your sunscreen just to get from the door or my car to the door of the IKEA building. Unless parking is underground. In which case, you should send me to an IKEA where parking is out in the elements…or give your fantastic prize money to someone else altogether.)
Jenny, great post; great vacation. I hope to one day (mostly) follow in your steps & visit a place or two on your list!
My partner-in-crime and I were just talking about how long it’s been since we’ve taken a vacation that did not involved going back home to visit family (6 years, btw). Family is awesome, but not as awesome as occasionally going somewhere that is not your childhood bedroom. So this summer we’re going to go down to the Florida Keys. It will be nice to see Hemingway’s cats and the street performers, but the highlight is going to be the Dry Tortugas. It’s a giant 19th-century fort that was obsolete before they even finished it, so it became a prison and is now a national park. You have to take a ferry or a sea plane to get there, but you can camp and snorkel, AND Dr. Samuel Mudd–the most controversial Lincoln conspirator–was imprisoned there. It is really the whole package.
I want to go to Alaska and go king salmon fishing and halibut fishing. Because I think it’d be awesome to catch a fish that weighs more than me. Also, I want to stay at Sarah Palin’s house. But only by invitation because I think that anything other than that would be considered rude, or stalking? Maybe both of those are true? Anyway, that’s mine.
P.S. How do I give you my email without it being made public on the post? Well, I am a subscriber to your blog so maybe you already have that information? Who knows? $500 won’t pay for my trip anyhow and there are better comments than this, so… What-the-fuck-ever, no biggie, unless your talking about the big dick rock? And now, that’s a biggie.
More than anything my little Whovian and I want to visit Cardiff and London to visit sites from the show! And listen to dreamy British accents. And possibly stalk Matt (she loves 11) and David (but of course 10 is much better…) but in a subtle way so we don’t get deported. But if we did we would tell you all about it!!
That’s totally an AWESOME idea. I might have to taxidermy them into Ying and Yang.
I love road trips with a combo of mainstream attractions and weirdo attractions! I’d like to do a trip through New England before we move away from the east coast this winter. Although I suspect that New England will not have nearly as many weirdo attractions as the southwest. The east coast is so deprived…
P.S. I would be driving across the continent through the US so I can see some bloggers on the way. paulccurran@hotmail.com
I have been jonesing to go see the oldest living things in our country, so I think I’d like to start with a trip to Northern California to see some old-ass trees! 🙂
I want to road trip to visit my parents and use the money to stay at a hotel so we can actually enjoy the visit and not have to lose one of my children in a pile of random crap my parents have picked up at garage sales. I like to live dangerously and all, just not risk tetanus.
The giant mosquito in Komarno, Manitoba, obviously. “The mosquito capital of Manitoba!” Added benefit of West Nile risk factor (and frost bite, depending on the month).
What a crazy adventure. So happy you finally got to see a giant nut. We would
like to go check out the Oregon Trail Interpretive Center. We’ve been reading Little House on the Prairie and my kids are fascinated with all things pioneer. .
I have always wanted to take a road trip to visit all of America’s famous ghost towns and foot-long corndog vendors. How those two things relate, I have no idea. But the ambition hasn’t changed since I was little, so it must be a good one.
If you ever want to road trip in Canada, you should come to Sudbury, Ontario. We have The Big Nickel – a giant nickel you can visit. And lots of lakes which are octopus-free.
For me, I want to take a trip to the Mystery Spot I’ve seen signs for in Michigan. My friends and I have passed it several times on our way to & from Gen Con but it’s right in the middle of our 14 hour drive so we’ve never gotten to stop.
I’ve never heard of Blue Lizard sunscreen before and apparently it’s because they don’t sell or ship it outside the US. Kind of a bummer – I’m always on the lookout for good sunscreen.
I think you just sold me on visiting that rock…but if I were to take a road trip, I would love to take my boys to Northern California to visit the redwood forests.
We were just at the Grand Canyon last summer! And the Petrified Forest! But we didn’t get to the Antelope Caverns. I would love to go back and see those.
I want to to go to Mt. Saint Helens! I love volcanos!
I want to go to Death Vallley! I imagine I would need LOTS of sunscreen there! Middleearthfan@yahoo.com
I’d like to visit Powell’s Books in Portland. I live in Oregon, have been in Portland many times yet I’ve never visited Powell’s Books. Silly, huh? But with the $500 I could really get a lot of books. That would be awesome.
I want to take my daughter on an epic roadtrip across America and visit as many of the restaurants as we can that we’ve seen on Diners, Drive Ins and Dives. They have shown some AMAZING out-of-the-way little holes in the wall places!
jfevansville@gmail.com
I would like to go to Vivian, Louisiana, which is where my mother was from. Vivian is near Minden, and Shreveport has probably swallowed both of them up by now, so there might not be much to see. Northern Louisiana is definitely a place I would need Blue Lizard sunscreen, and possibly also some Xanax, depending on whether or not the lady who kept my aunt actually sent her ashes down there to be buried after she (the keeper) got all my aunt’s money out of probate. I don’t care about the money. I just care about the ashes. And a trip to Vivian. Thank you!
I’ve lived in Colorado for (these go to) eleven years and haven’t yet made it to Durango, Telluride, or the Great Sand Dunes (mostly because of potential sandworms). Also, apparently, Colorado touches Utah (Utah: “Quit it, Colorado!”) where they have Arches, Bryce Canyon, Zion, and Capitol Reef National Parks. I want to go to there (with my awesome husband and fabulous almost 4-year old daughter).
I’d like to take a Wisconsin road trip. Stay at Camp Wandawega, find some awesomely old fashioned supper clubs, visit some lovely cheesemakers, and tour the ultra weird House on the Rock near Spring Green.
I want to go explore all the state parks Illinois has to offer, Starved Rock is AMAZING. I want to hike more and see more!
I live in the town where the giant pistachio is! I want to see the Northern Lights before I die. Not that I’m planning on THAT happening anytime soon!
I love everything about this post. Weird shit road trips are the spice of life. AtlasObscura.com is my favorite website for planning all my road trips.
I am very excited to check out Polly at Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese when I visit London for the first time next month: http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/polly-at-ye-olde-cheshire-cheese Not only did he love to insult patrons he disliked, he died of exhaustion, imitating the sound of popping champagne corks over 400 times. I feel certain I was Polly in a previous life.
I’d really like to see the world’s largest wooden prairie dog, please make my dreams come true.
Our next trip is a bit of island hopping in Hawaii for our 10th anniversary. Lots of need for sunscreen! We’ll be going to the Big Island to see the volcano for a couple of days, to Oahu to see Pearl Harbor for a day, then we’ll finish off at just over a week in Kauai for the quiet natural beauty of the Garden Island. Lots of snorkeling too!
I would love to tour Antelope Canyon. Do they have Water Toilets there too? I promise not to drink out of it. This summer we are taking our daughter to Universal Orlando for her 12th birthday because Harry Potter and Hogwarts! So excited!!
I SERIOUSLY NEED TO TAKE THIS ROAD TRIP! It would be like stalking except not really
i live in a town where a famous horse is buried under a chapel and another famous horse is stuffed and in a museum. you should come here. also, we have confederate re-enactors who ride down the streets. so, maybe not.
I would love to go to Panama City Beach and eat at Dirty Dick’S Crab Shack. Great food. Too much information? Of course shelling on the beach is required which would make sunscreen mandatory
This post has reminded me that I need to stock up on sunscreen because my mom and I are going on a road trip to visit Upper Canada Village at the end of June. It’s a 1860s historical village. There will be petticoats and bonnets and adventures! We won’t be wearing the petticoats and bonnets because, let’s face it, it’s a little crazy to dress like that and then walk around in the heat, but we will most definitely be having the adventures. I send you the highest of fives!
California. I have a close friend and we’ve known each other for nearing 15 years now yet never met up in person due to finances. Also, all of my immediate family has been to California at some point except for me. This is totally unfair and should to be fixed ASAP.
Short of that, it would be fun to visit some of the places highlighted on the PBS series Rare Visions and Roadside Revelations. http://kcpt.org/programs/local-programs/rare-visions-and-roadside-revelations/
I have always wanted to take Amtrack from California to Maine. Ride the rails and see the country. Or, map out the most awesome road trip ever, making sure to make stops at all the kitchiest spots along the way, of course! I’ve already seen the largest thermometer and it was AWESOME!
Oh man, there are so many things I want to road trip to! Probably top of my list right now is the Royal Tyrrell Museum of Paleontology in Drumheller, Alberta and the Philip J. Currie Dinosaur Museum further north in Wembley. Who wouldn’t want to road trip to see Baby Dinosaur Fossils!
I have always wanted to charter a deep sea sub, and keep thinking about doing it for my 50th birthday:: http://www.stanleysubmarines.com/expeditions/2000ft-expedition/ You go from the land of constantly burning South American sun in Honduras, down 2000ft into the dark, frigid depths of an alien world. In that perpetual inkiness, you see some of the eeriest creatures sharing the planet with us. Maybe it’s where Father Dagon and Mother Hydra vacation for the winter, and I can catch a glimpse of them there. :}
Thanks for going to the one part of the US I’ve never been to and clued me in to the freaky roadside stuff I love (and seems to be disappearing every day). And I use sunscreen.
I want to go to Geode Fest in Hamilton, Illonois this year! Three days of hiking, wading rivers, and digging in the dirt to find shiny rocks sounds amazing to me.
awww.. i miss road trips. Did them all the time in my younger years. I’d like to finally stop at the bridge over the interstate in Nebraska because it’s apparently the coolest thing in the state. Maybe find something actually cool in that state. Finding something to not make me hate Nebraska has been a goal of mine for years now. I just have a hard time going back to that state.
I’d also like to get back to Salem to check out less disappointing museums than the Official Salem Witch Trial Museum.
And maybe finally see national landmarks, like the Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, Mt Rushmore, largest ball of twine, whatever.
Seeing the Grand Canyon is on my bucket list. My husband & I have tried 3 times to book a rafting trip to Grand Canyon. For his 30th birthday, I surprised him with a booking paid for by squirreling away money for a year (which he never noticed). But we decided to use that money to buy a house instead.
The next time we tried to see the Grand Canyon, after rebooking our trip, we decided to move to a different house closer to work.
The next year we rebooked and had to cancel because I got pregnant.
He’s been to Vegas a couple times, and each time promised not to take one of those helicoptor tours to the Grand Canyon so that we could see it together for the first time.
Damn it – I want to see big holes in the ground too!
Darwin, Minnesota is home to the world’s largest ball of twine. I’d post a picture of it but I don’t want to spoil the magic of seeing it in person for the first time. Also, the internet might break from the majesty of such an image. Maybe Instagram should create a filter that attempts to capture the fuzziness of twine. Such an endeavor would surely lead to everyone getting all strung out and the eventual unraveling of polite society but I digress. Anyway, your next road trip should be to Darwin so you can see this tightly wound spectacle and acres upon acres of corn.
I want to go somewhere with a beach. It doesn’t even have to be a warm beach. The Oregon coast is beautiful! And cold. But somewhere I can see ocean. Bandon maybe. They have ocean AND a cheese factory.
Your road trip looks like it was epic! I would love to visit the Grand Canyon someday, but for now I’d settle for taking my kids to Acadia National Park. My husband and I went for our anniversary a few years ago and loved it!
Some day I’d love to do a road trip to Montreal in search of the best poutine. Mmmm, fries, gravy and cheese curds! The sunscreen would keep me from getting skin cancer while I happily clogged my arteries. 😉
My husband is in the military, and currently stationed several states away – being able to road trip somewhere midway between us to have adventures and see each other would be breathtakingly lovely.
There’s this jerky stand I’ve driven by on the (long) road to him that is a giant alien space ship (I believe it’s just outside of Las Vegas?) that I want to visit, and there are so many awesome places we could go!
I think one of the coolest things we could do, though, is get me out to San Diego where he is, and explore it together. There are so many beautiful historic buildings – and they have DUCK BOATS in San Diego!
Hubby and I went to New Mexico once, but we weren’t able to really go sight seeing and there was a dinosaur place that we had to skip that I would love to go back and see.
(email since WP is being funny about letting me comment: patricialynne07@gmail.com)
I want to go on a petting zoo trip. Your America and hit up all the janky petting zoos we can find. My girls are obsessed with them and I’d like to just knock them all out so I can say “nope, we’ve already met that goat!” The amount of tshirts eaten and hand sanitizer used is a bit out of control. We could even sunscreen their little wet animal noses
I want to go to New Orleans to buy a genuine voodoo doll and take genuine voodoo lessons on how to use it genuinely and then return home where I’ll genuinely use it.
I should first ask who is judging the contest because if it is you, I need to say something weird and wonderful and maybe slightly horrifying? So how about Tennessee’s “Backyard Terrors and Dinosaur Park”, because why not? But what I would actually want to do is see the tropics, which is a lifelong dream. I haven’t been because I had skin cancer when I was 30 (35, now!), and I tend to stay out of the sun. But with Blue Lizard I would brave the sun to live my tropical dream! <3
Oooohhhh road trips!!! We love them. Oregon/Seattle/Montana on my short list. But, we’re from AZ so … Short list of Long Drives?!? Whatever. We are road warriors. Let’s do this!!!
I would love to take a cross country train. Or drive up the pacific coast highway. Or drive through a red wood tree. I would love to see the Bad Lands. Or Idaho. I love me some potatoes. I would love to go to Kentucky and bourbon taste my way through it. Alaska!! I love blueberries AND salmon! How cool would it be to do all that in one trip!!
I’m already going to Grand Canyon and Antelope this summer (and Zion). Would love our next road trip to be through some mountains somewhere. I’d even take a Blue Lizard cutout and send pictures of it on the journey (a la garden gnome). If I’m lucky I’ll even FIND a lizard to take a picture with, or put sunscreen on.
Since I am Canadian I have to represent (and also because our dollar sucks so staying in our country is just cheaper) – Narcisse Manitoba – what’s there you ask? Well the Narcisse snake dens of course – picture it (or just google it) – thousands of garter snakes mating (spring) or returning for hibernation (fall) – with the added bonus of a giant garter snake statue for further photo ops.
Can I win if I live in Canada? I want to go interior canoeing in the wilds of Algonquin park again… on last year’s trip we saw a wolf chasing a deer. Which was awesome. But then the wolf turned and looked at us across the lake and all I could think of was if we looked tasty… I’m thinking sunscreen would make us taste bad, and would help us not get eaten. Unless it’s a tasty sunscreen? What flavour is it, do you know?
Devil’s Tower. I’ve wanted to see that ever since Richard Dreyfus sculpted it out of mashed potatoes. But I really think you should give the $500 to that poor girl that’s never been to IKEA because it’s so far away. Horrors . . . .
I’d like to take a trip with my favorite people – my sissy & her family + my family to the beach & let the kids draw weird things in the sand, pick through garbage, gather too many sea shells, run from waves and we all don’t get sunburned because of the sun lotion that’s supposed to not let us get burned.
At this point it feels like it will be the trip of a lifetime for me and it I’m not sure if it’ll happen. The plan is for my mother, my sister, and myself to go visit the theme parks in Florida (Disney & Universal). My mom and I will fly to Georgia and, from there, we’ll all drive to Florida.
The hurtles are:
-My sister, a widow, works two jobs and might not be able to get the time off. (She tentatively has been scheduled to be off, but there’s a chance someone with seniority will bump her request.)
-My mother, in her seventies and also a widow, is becoming a bit more frail than she realizes/admits.
-I’m having my own expensive, time-consuming, and exhausting health issues. Also I’ve never tried doing a road trip with food allergies before. Should be fun.
We had actually planned to do this trip last year, but my sister couldn’t get the time off. My mom really wants to make the trip before she’s too frail. Of the three of us, I think my mom is the most excited about going on all the rides. I just want to see Hogwarts. I’ve even knitted a carrying case for a magic wand. I’m ready. 🙂
Honest to god I just want to see the giant hands after seeing this post. Otherwise, I’d settle for getting to Australia. But tough call.
The Badlands! It’s gotta happen this summer or the next!
redwood national forest! with a pitstop in yellowstone! i’v ebeen kicking around some vacation ideas with friends, and a lot of the stuff we want to do–nature-y, adventure-y, take-your-breath-away-y–are in far-off places like iceland and new zealand (definitely still on the to-go-to list) but they’re ALSO right here in the country where we live. (in places we haven’t been yet. but it’s here!) and that’s pretty awesome in and of itself.
p.s. when i saw the grand canyon a couple years ago, i cried. multiple times. it was one of those ‘i am just a speck in this wide universe’ moments. definitely my favorite hole-spectacle thus far.
We are headed in 70 days to Iceland for a road trip to see geysers and waterfalls, but also turf houses and a rock museum. And we may venture out to see a plane wreck on a black sand beach.
I want to take my kids to see the ocean! Living in Chicago is way too cold sometimes. Its May. and its freezing here! 🙂
I just moved from Michigan to Arizona. Thank you for beating my homesickness by letting me know I can go see a rock that looks like a penis. No joke. I literally just texted all my friends! You have lifted my spirits!!!!! Also, agreed, New Mexico is all Mad Max Thunderdome in terms of scenery :/
The number one item on my bucket list (maybe more than one….) is to go to every Disney related theme park on the planet. North American ones would be a more realistic goal but a girl’s gotta dream big.
I’ve always wanted to go to the unclaimed baggage store in Scottsdale Arizona. I don’t even know if i’d buy anything. Although with $500, I’d certainly would. I just want to see what stuff gets lost and forgotten and never seen again. It’s like an accidental Goodwill store!
crap I meant Scottsdale Alabama. That’s different. I’ll never win now.
In 1984 my family road tripped from California to New Orleans. My step sister and I fought so much all the way through Texas that we were banned from going to the World’s Fair. That must have been one epic battle in the back of the Ford Econoline Van. I’m turning 45 next month and would love to take my own family on an amazing road trip…minus the epic battles.
and it’s Scottsboro Alabama. Hell I’m pretty sure I’ve been disqualified.
It WAS my dream to go snorkelling in Turks and Caicos, but I’m actually going there in December (cheap cruise with parents, lol). My other dream is to go to New Zealand and see the sets for Lord of the Rings, the hobbit village in particular, which apparently is still set up for visitors. My fantasy trip would to be to go out West and see the Giant Hoe in Saskatchewan, but it only exists on TV. I’ve already seen the Giant Goose in Wawa. It’s pretty impressive, let me tell you.
Although I need to expand my horizons and get out of California more, I have always wanted to do the entire Pacific Coast Highway (Highway 1). The trip would go north, because although I LOVE Southern California sunshine and beaches, the wild coast of Northern California and the majestic redwoods have my heart. Of course, we would need a convertible (and accompanying sunscreen). My kids would be required to listen to ALL the folk music!
I have been trying to get my family to go on a road trip since we moved to California. My husband is getting a Ph.D while we are here, but once that is done, I have no idea where we will be. So I want to make sure we see all the sights that we can before we move. But, for the Love of PETE, have you seen this State? It’s GINORMOUS. $500 would help us see such wonders as Yosemite, Joshua Tree, the Redwoods, and even some weirder places like Skeletons in the Closet: The LA Coroner Gift Shop or the Museum of Death in Hollywood.
I want to attend the Testicle Festival, in Clinton, Montana. Just for bragging rights. http://therockcreeklodge.com/testy-fest/
I would love to go to Philly and see the Mutter Museum. It’s collections of anatomical specimens, models, and medical equipment that I should have seen when I lived in Philly but never went.
Oh wow. The places people in the comments want to go sound so awesome I feel a little silly saying I just want to visit the lighthouses in my state in the fall. And I would need the sunscreen because who doesn’t want to wear something called Blue Lizard and I’m seriously pale. I realllly follow the doctor’s advice after a precancerous removal.
Oh wow. The places people in the comments want to go sound so awesome I feel a little silly saying I just want to visit the lighthouses in my state in the fall. And I would need the sunscreen because who doesn’t want to wear something called Blue Lizard and I’m seriously pale. I realllly follow the doctor’s advice after a precancerous removal.
I have always wanted to see The Thing, but could never convince my husband to stop! If I win – we are going there!!!
I want to drive over the “Going to the Sun” road in Glacier National Park! Perfect place to use my Blue Lizard! says the redheaded freckled girl. I love stopping at those odd little roadside places. Puts the character in the road trips. My dream is to visit all the National Parks before I die, although if I don’t make it I might have my kids take my ashes for me.
I’ve been pining over an England/Ireland/Scotland trip for a while, and the one thing I’d absolutely have to see there are the Cliffs of Insanity (aka the Cliffs of Moher). “Inconceivable,” you say? I think not. =]
My dream road trip would be to take my husband to Colorado so he can ski. He was born a paraplegic and learned to mono-ski as a child. He still donates his time to Stride Adaptive Sports, the program for disabled children, that helped him as a child. He has been a ski instructor for them; a coach and player on their sled hockey team; and recently raised over $500 in pledges for them, when he participated in a 100K ski relay; as well as being a counselor on their camping trips; etc. There is NOTHING he loves more in this world than skiing (except hopefully me lol), and it makes me happy that he gets so much joy from it. I would do anything in the world for this wonderful man, and hope someday I can give him his dream vacation (and finally let him try and teach me, as he has always wanted).
I am sorry this is very long, I know most people wrote only a sentence but I couldn’t help myself. Thank you so much for the opportunity to share Sean’s story, and the possibility of making this dream come true. <3
Here is a link of my wonderful hubby and his mono-ski:
https://www.facebook.com/strideadaptivesports/videos/10156679817650599/
PS
I am very stereotypically Irish (pale, red hair, freckles, green eyes etc.) so sunscreen is my best friend lol.
Thank you Jenny and thank you Blue Lizard for this opportunity.
I totally want to go whale watching on one of those tour boats out of Seattle. Need lots of sunscreen on a boat. 😉
i want to go see the wild ponies in Chincoteague! i’ve been dying to go there since i read the Misty books in the early 80s.
When I was a kid, every night I went to an imaginary place called Little Town. It was rather idyllic, as I recall. I want to go there.
That sounds amazing! My fiancé and I want to go to Thailand to visit the Elephant Conservation Center, try through the jungle, see the tiger monastery (it’s a real place! You can get a picture taken of a tiger resting his head in your lap), and lounge on the beaches 🙂
Wow – everyone has posted such great trips! I want to go to Ireland, which I probably wouldn’t need sunscreen for, since they seem kind of pasty there, but I would still use it anyway, because you can never be too careful. That should be the name of my book – when I write it . . . if I ever do, that is.
One place I have always wanted to visit and explore is New Orleans.
Huh. I’ve actually been looking for some good sunscreen for our trips to Disney. I’ll check them out for sure.
I would LOVE to take a road trip up to South Dakota to see where my grandmother and grandfather are buried. My grandmother died here in Florida but was buried next to my grandfather in SD. I realize that sounds a little morbid but I’m sure there are a ton of fun things to do on the way (Graceland? Dollywood?). My husband will probably nix this idea and make us take a road trip to TX to see his family instead. Such is life.
I’ve driven from New Mexico to California several times but never stopped at the Meteor Crater. i must do this soon.
Someday I will visit the Corn Palace, but I have yet to find a need to be in South Dakota. But someday…
My sister and I really want to take that train ride to the Grand Canyon. I’ve flown over it but never seen it up close. And we both really like trains.
Once, on a road trip to Nova Scotia, I made the route go the long way thru New Brunswick just to see the World’s Largest Axe. Totally worth it.
Ah, The Thing. Best advertising, worst exhibit ever.
I really really need to get to Glacier National Park before all the glaciers are gone because you know, global warming and shit.
The Wizard of Oz theme park will be open on Fridays in June here in NC; it’s a theme park that’s been abandoned since the 70’s, and is now all haunted and grown over. I can’t wait.
My kid wants to be a park ranger when he grows up and he has “heard rumors of these super giant trees” that grow in northern California. So I want to take him on a road trip through the Redwood Forrest. You know, to cement his life plan as a tree herder!
I’m dying to show my kids what real autumn looks like. See, we live near where Jenny traveled on her road trip, where there are few deciduous trees. I’d love to drive back east in the fall.
I would love to road trip to the Grand Canyon. But I’d want to rent a convertible Thelma & Louise style!
After reading many of the comments and hearing about all the wonderful places that everyone wants to visit (great ideas by the way) instead of naming a place, I would like to give a vote for Darylanne | May 18, 2016 at 10:03 am- Her story is inspiring and it put a smile on my face! I hope she gets to take her husband skiing 🙂
I really want to go see the Olympic National Park, climb some mountains, and then stay in a nice AirBnB with friends! Perfect,relaxing, outdoor vacay!
I’m moving to florida, and I want to see some damn alligators! and feed them chicken. and maybe touch one? but only a small one. Also, i’m a paley mcpalerson, so some Blue Lizard is right up my alley.
I’d like to take my fam to see sunny California to walk down the crookedest street in San Fran, then head to Glass Beach to marvel at all the trash turned to treasure(ish), pan for Gold in them thar hills, head down to Monterey Bay Aquarium to Squeee! over the sea otters, and hit up Hollyweird to round it all off. My alabaster skin totally needs the Blue Lizard to survive the CA sun!
I thought the giant pistachio nut looked like Audrey II.
I’d love to head back to visit Grounds for Sculpture in Hamilton NJ, Acres of sculpture and statues from life size to giant. http://www.groundsforsculpture.org/index.cfm
I would like to drive Highway 1 all the way from Fort Kent, Maine to Key West. Sars over at Tomato Nation did it a number of years ago, and it just sounded fabulous. Plus I love Key West. And Maine. And roadtrips.
Failing that, thank you for allowing me to live YOUR most awesome of roadtrips vicariously!!!
I’d like to visit whaley House in California apparently its considered one of the most haunted places in America, Potato chip rock ,and the international banana museum because they are all in California and why not!!
The Garden of Eden in Lucas, Kansas for the art. Also, I’ve never been to Kansas and people always ask if I’m from there because Kansas is my (real, unchanged) last name!
A bucket list place for me to visit would be Arles, France, simply due to the volume of artworks Vincent Van Gogh created while in Arles. I would love to see the various subjects he painted while walking down the streets and put myself into his shoes, attempt to see through his eyes. 🙂
My daughter and I want to go Disney land! She’s 5 and obsessed with Princesses, trains and ice cream – Disney fits the bill for all three!
Fun serendipity you running this. I have been longing for a trip to Balboa Park in San Diego. Space Museum, Museum of Man, awesome international village and the Zoo! Only way it will happen is to win a contest so here goes nothin’!
I would like to go to Kerrville, TX, about twenty miles away, because they have a Taco Bell and we don’t have one here. Obviously, my needs are small.
I heard that there are spiders in Costa Rica that are as big as dinner plates. AND we need new place settings!
My husband and daughter are way into ghosts, so while they ghost tour, I’ll sit in the hotel and eat room service. I don’t care where.
How fun! We’re actually looking at taking a road trip to the Grand Canyon this summer, but now you have given me many more ideas to add to the trip!
I would like to visit Helen, GA. It is a re-creation of a Bavarian Alpine village in north GA.
I would like to take a walk through the Kruger Nation Park in South Africa, as long as i am accompanied by a guy with a huge ass gun.
We like to put shit on our back and hike thru the cascade mountains…not a road trip, as we r already crazy for putting shit in our backs and hiking😂
I’ve seen some of the things you saw as my family lives in New Mexico, but I would love to go to Glacier National Park.
I would love to see the One Log House which is located just south of Garberville, CA, apparently. It’s a house inside a log, and I’m intrigued.
I would love to road trip from Minnesota to Texas, because we all know that y’all Texans need to see a ghost white Minnesotan who needs some sunscreen…. and a cowboy, so if you know of any hit me up!! 😉
Best sponsored post EVER.
We’re road-tripping to Utah this summer. I’m pale enough that I need to pack sunscreen in gallon containers. $500 would just about cover it.
My husband and I have big dreams of traveling westward in an RV, stopping whenever we see something interesting, camping, staying in haunted hotels and eventually hitting a few national parks. Whenever w go on vacation, sunscreen is always at the top of my packing list because my husband is the poster child for melanoma and I have tattoos that I paid way too much for to ruin them with overexposure to sunlight.
My husband has been depressed lately. I’ve been working to help him and he is seeing a counselor. His posts on facebook are of the lets run away together variety, and I know a road trip would go a long way to lightening his spirits, if even temporarily. I’d take him to see a baseball game at a stadium we’ve never been to – maybe Wrigley. Or maybe we’d drive to the east coast and visit all sorts of historical museums – he loves history and I love ghosts so that’d be a win either way! I know neither compare to the biggest nut ever, and I definitely need to get out and see the thingy at some point! Thanks for sharing your adventure with us!
Stacy
For an actual road trip, my husband has been trying to get me to NYC for years. I don’t think he realizes that I will spend the entire trip quoting Kimmy Schmitt, Liz Lemon, and every broadway cast album I have ever heard.
Here in NC they just announced that an old abandoned Wizard of Oz theme park will be giving tours soon. The movie by itself is creepy, so you know that’s going to be awesome.
The Viking and I love road trips! The longer, the better! Turn up the music, break out the snacks and let’s hit the road! Have credit card…..will travel! The Redwoods are calling my name and the echo is on the Appalachian Trail. Sayonara Motherfuckers!
My husband wants to take me on a 2 week road trip to see north California and some national parks. We plans the best road trips ever. If it’s weird stuff your looking for he’s your guy. On our move to Las Vegas from Florida we made a beeline to the worlds largest office chair and many other amazing places.
I want to see the giant Redwoods in California. My parents took us to CA lots as kids and we never went ):
Road trips ate my favourite! I want to do Route 66 one day and the Hana Highway in Maui.
Sooooo much to love here:). So many laughs, from the mixed messages to the Donald Trump resting face. But my favorite has to be: Dust storms: the most exciting thing I’ve seen in 3 hours is mobile dirt.
Brilliant:).
I want to drive Route 66 to LA, take the Pacific Coast Highway as far north as possible, and come back east through Yellowstone, Mt Rushmore, the Badlands, etc. stopping at as many National Parks and weird kitschy tourist traps along the way as possible. My dad says I’d get tired of driving. There’s only one way to find out!
There is a tiger sanctuary near us and I feel like $500 would be enough to bribe them to let me cuddle one.
I would totally use this to take my kids on a trip this summer – nowhere big or exciting but going away for two nights and playing some mini golf would be really wonderful for our family (and doable on 500$). But if money was no object I want to go to the abandoned mine in Wales? that has been converted to a trampoline/adventure place.
And I have seen the worlds largest blueberry (Oxford, NS), and nickel (Sudbury, ON), and I live pretty close to the tallest totem pole in the world, so I have had some excitement in my life.
NYC all the way! Granted $500 wont go far…but it’s enough motivation to BOOK THE TICKETS!
I really just want to go anywhere!!! And see anything!!! It’s been so long since I’ve just had a road trip with no strict itinerary. And also, my fiance and 2 kids and I have not been on a vacation with just us. Ever. It’s the saddest thing. 🙁
I really want to go to Giraffe Manor. Well, actually? I really want a giraffe. Except that my getting a giraffe or going to Giraffe Manor are pretty equally not gonna happen. There are lots of day trip places to go around in KY that I want to visit and I’m sure a nice hefty VISA card will come in handy. I loved your sponsored post.
ROADTRIIIIIIP! I love roadtrips. My favorite is following Route 66 and stopping at all of the places that Elvis frequented.
I’ve moved to the South from the Midwest and I’m really aching to do the Blues highway from Vicksburg, MS to Memphis, TN and then the Bourbon Trail (hitting the haunted sites along the way)… because, well… music, booze and ghosts – what else do you need in life? Also, I plan on taking my dog with me (who has cancer and a bucket list), so that we can make some crazy memories.
My children beg to pull of I-70 in Kansas to see the 2-headed gopher. So far it hasn’t happened.
I haven’t drunk out of a toilet since I was diagnosed with melanoma; all the sunscreen goes down the tube instead of coming out of it.
I want to take my baby to Canada! He needs to see other countries, and we have friends to visit there.
Road trips are so much fun. I haven’t been on one in forever, but I just broke my tailbone, so it’s gonna be a while before I want to sit in a car for hours.
I am all about the road trips! I would love to find out what’s so bad about the badlands!
I have been having a stone blast reading all these wonderful comments! Being a writer of paranormal nonfiction, I know I’m supposed to say I want to visit Savannah or New Orleans (although NOLA would be great because beignets!!!!) But ever since I was young, I have wanted to visit Plimoth Plantation and Plymouth Rock. Apparently the rock is a bit underwhelming, more of a stone than a rock. But an ancestor of mine (George Soule) came over on the Mayflower, and I’ve always wanted to see his restored cabin. And yeah, I’d totally take the train there!
This goofy thing won’t let me post my email. :/ I’m at pompeii100 (@) yahoo (dot) com. And I am shamefully behind on blog posts. I’ll catch up soon, I promise!
I would love to take a car tour across Kansas — the Pony Express stops to the Tallgrass Prairie National Preserve. Leisurely country roads, big sky, horizon too far away to see —
My husband and i recently lost our little buddy Maxx. he was a Solomon island Eclectus and the love of our life. Ive had a hard time getting over his passing and thought we might take a trip to the Solomon islands to see “his people” and release some of his feathers back into the wild as closure. I wanted to stay at “fat boys resort” as “fat boy” was my husbands pet name for our little boy (he was a pig when he ate). but the resort doesnt have prices listed. Anyway id love to be in the running for a gift card as i have no idea how much this will cost us just yet, and winning some cash would definatly help my husband agree to go with me. I’d definatly be a blue lizard user from now on if we make it there! Good luck to everyone!
My husband and I really want to go to the Winchester Mansion, stopping in Roswell along the way. Maybe I could trick him into seeing the world’s largest pistachio!
Well, Obviously a road trip that follows the EXACT JOURNEY of Laura Ingalls Wilder as described in her books. Except without the scary wolves, and field on fire parts.
Or the winter(s?) where they almost starved to death. Or the time they got sick. EVERYTHING ELSE, YES. This would be my childhood dream come true!
I would love to take my sons and husband on a cross country road trip to Gettsyburg. I went on a school trip there when I was in the 8th grade but was way too much of a little shit to enjoy how amazing and spooky it was. The hotel we stayed at had a major Shining vibe and my husband would go gaga for that. Maybe we could even dress up our two oldest sons like the twins and scare the bejesus out of some unsuspecting hotel staff. Just a thought. Come on Lizard! Mama needs a new pair of horror stories to tell!
My husband and I want to visit the Winchester Mansion and the UFO crash site in Roswell. I can probably trick him into seeing the pistachio as well!
I want to visit Meow Wolf in Santa Fe (https://meowwolf.com/about/visit/): Secret passages! Inter-dimensional and/or travel! Also we would have some delicious tacos.
My husband wants us to eat our way through Italy. I want to do a road trip through Alaska.
Well, since I’ve already seen The Thing (truly changed my life in that I finally understood the power of advertising), I would love a road trip to Oregon to do two things I saw on a television show, “Cash and Treasures.” The show was awesome because the hunter was a cool lady and she did awesome treasure hunting in the U.S. In Oregon, she hunted for two things: truffles (actually foraging, but hunting sounds better) and opals (pre-show, I thought they only came from Australia). My family has wanted to do this since watching the show years ago. Plus, we would need a ton of sunscreen.
I really want to take a road trip up to Seattle! (From the Bay Area in CA.) Not only do they have a big nerd museum, but I need to stop at the place where bears will wave at you in exchange for tossing bread at them, and the drive-thru safari in Oregon!
Would love to take the family to the Redwoods/Giant Sequoias in CA or the Grand Canyon!
Weirdly, I live 10 minutes from the zombie hands and have never been there. I’d like to take my family up to Colorado, particularly the Black Canyon of the Gunnison.
Carhenge, Alliance, Nebraska. Hands down.
I just really want to go to the original Del Taco location to have extra beefy tacos with ketchup. I hear they’re extra beefy because, honestly, the ones you get from a other non-original Del Tacos tend are truly wimpy. Impress me Del Taco, impress me. OOOOOOooooooo, then I’d like to head over to Las Vegas to check out the Neon Museum. The end. Tacos though.
I’d go the the Ape Cave in Washington. Because they’re under Mt. St. Helens, so there’s a serious chance of blowing up while you’re there. And even though they insist there are no actual apes, I bet they’re just hiding. http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-ape-caves
Great post.. I’d love to go see the Grand Canyon and Mount Rushmore (I have kids.. I should probably do some educational things).
My kids really want to go see lava. I, however, think we should so somewhere with a smaller chance of death by incineration. Maybe I can convince them that Old faithful is a tiny water volcano. The kids are young, they just might fall for that.
Being a Chicago-Texan I’ve always wanted to do the whole Southwest/ West Texas get lost tour.
Lots of Lizardy Sun Goop would be required.
Get lost tours are such fun….you drive in a predetermined direction, off of major highways, until you either find some place to stay for the night or need gas so bad you’d be willing to suck off a tractor.
My last Get Lost tour showed me parts of Arkansas that most people have never seen, of course this cover most of that state but whatever.
We love going up into the redwoods – last year was dressing as an Ewok in the grove where some Star Wars scenes were shot. This year I’d love to dress as a dinosaur and go up to fern canyon, where some of the scenes from Jurassic Park took place!
My nine-year-old son has been asking to go to Lake Champlain for a couple of years now, so that we can go find Champ, North America’s version of Nessie. He would also like to go see the Oregon vortex, and then go looking for the Pope Lick Monster in Kentucky. Basically, I really want to take my weird kid to weird places.
I want to take a road trip up California. See all the things!
I want to go to Brno in Czechlandia (not it’s official name) and see the mummified monks … http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/czechs-capuchin-crypt … and if I won, I could see above the ground attractions too because I’d be wearing the blue lizards pale-skin saving sunscreen!
Roadside attractions are the best. Almost always not quite what you expected but fulfilling nonetheless.
My link didn’t show up 🙁 (Comment 329)
hopefully my story will still make an impression without it. I’d love to take my husband on his dream vacation. This year is our 10yr anniversary and we have never been able to go on a honeymoon or a actual vacation. crosses fingers
https://www.facebook.com/strideadaptivesports/videos/10156679817650599/
https://www.facebook.com/strideadaptivesports/videos/10156679817650599/
I’ve lived in Arizona for almost 15 years now, and I had to keep making notes while reading this post of all the things I haven’t done yet, but I must do! And it’s so close for me 🙂
I wanna see the Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota.
Min-eh-soooda
Minnesotaaaaaaaa!
I want to go camping. I’ve never been camping and there is this awesome state park with pristine beaches that you can only reach by ferry. I’m obsessed. But my husban’s all “no wifi AND I have to sleep by myself in a single bunk bed? Phht.” But how could he argue with a paid trip? Plus there are 6 beds and only 5 of us so Rory can come. And he can have a top bunk.
I would love to take my kids to Arches national park. I went there as a kid and it was very cool and inspiring
I never knew i needed to see Antelope Canyon until now.
I’m a little shocked that your road trip didn’t include a visit to the World’s Largest Ball of Twine. Next year perhaps?
I think I’d enjoy traveling with you. Something awesome I’d like to go visit is Mount Rushmore. It’s not too far away from Colorado, and seems like we could have fun driving there. I’m of Swedish descent, so Blue Lizard is on my list for packing on my next road trip. Our family of six likes riding motorcycles, taking road trips and watching movies. Good movies! Bad movies! Horror movies! And playing the alphabet game while we drive. Thanks for sharing your trip – I enjoyed the pictures and your writing.
I have always wanted to take a cross country road trip with the intention of seeing all of the “world’s biggest -_” attractions. Now I know where to find the world’s biggest pistachio, which would make my 4 year old daughter ridiculously excited. She’s weird like that – and also a huge pistachio lover.
I want to go to NYC and see a Broadway show. I will not drink out of the toilet, promise.
At some point this summer I’m going to run/drive away from home (don’t worry, my husband will watch the kids…mostly) and go hunt down some Heady Topper in Vermont. It’s a famous India Pale Ale produced by a small family brewery (alchemistbeer.com) that is easy to find on tap – in central Vermont only – but very difficult to find in bottles. I want to hunt it down like a cavewoman after a wooly mammoth, and bring it home to cuddle with. I promise not to drink while driving OR give any to the kids. Mostly because it’s way too good to waste on children.
I want to drive through Tennessee and Kentucky visiting distilleries and Waffle Houses.
I want to go to Florida and swim with the manatees! I wish I could snuggle with them. They are the aquatic version of my British Shorthair cats.
I desperately want to go to the beaches of North Carolina again! It’s been years! I also want to go to Yellowstone to NOT pet the baby bison.
I want to rent a house boat and spend a few nights on Lake Powell.
Gettysburg! i want to see ghosts!
The hubs & I hope to one day make it across the country (from NC) to see the Grand Canyon. Or maybe we’ll go to Colorado to get high legally. 🙂
Also, this is happening soon.
http://myfox8.com/2016/05/15/land-of-oz-theme-park-in-nc-opening-for-limited-time-next-month/
I want to take a road trip without any real destination in mind – something where I have a week or so vacation time, my honey, and a convertible, and we just drive off until something catches our interest & we stop – for a while or the night, or whatever. And then do it again & again, until we have to return home.
I know mine isn’t spectacular, but I would like to ride my motorcycle to Key West. This would take me a couple/three days because my ass cannot take that much time on the bike, so I would have to stop a lot. And I definitely need the sunscreen – the sun is not my friend as I proved last Sunday riding my motorcycle and coming home nice and red (because I forgot sunscreen).
My whole childhood we would drive from NJ to FL to visit my grandparents. Sadly and perhaps traumatically my parents would NEVER stop at South of the Border. I feel like I have probably missed awesome things. I need to go there.
I want to take a road trip without any real destination in mind – something where I have a week or so vacation time, my honey, and a convertible, and we just drive off until something catches our interest & we stop – for a while or the night, or whatever. And then do it again & again, until we have to return home
I would love to take my kids to see the Badlands in South Dakota and stop at the Corn Palace in Mitchell, SD along the way. What app were you using in the stone penis picture? A weird road trip app?
I want to go to Craters of the Moon park! Last time I went it was too early in the year for most of the caves to be open.
When my parents drove cross country the first time from California to Virginia, my mother kept seeing signs for the “Grand Canyon.” Since she is not from the US, she kept asking my dad, “What is this Grand Canyon?” He replied, “It’s just a big hole in the ground.” So they drove on. After 45 years of marriage, he finally took her to see that big hole in the ground.
My closest friends have become very scattered geographically. They are the weirdest people I know, and I think a weird-friends-road-trip is called for whereby I visit each friend and they each choose a weird-ass local attraction to visit together! Leave it to chance!
I’m taking a big trip to Glacier, Yellowstone, and Grand Tetons National Parks in honor of my 40th Birthday. My dream is to visit all of the National Parks someday. And I’m starting with 3 parks and 3 states that I’ve never been to. But I’m one of those people that burn just thinking about being in the sun (or so it seems) – So I’m always looking for great sunscreen. Especially for this trip – btw Jenny, I know that you’d love Grand Tetons, its french for big nipples!
I’ve always wanted to visit the superlative trees, all of which live in California: Hyperion (the tallest), General Sherman (the biggest), and Methuselah (the oldest). Unfortunately, the locations of Hyperion and Methuselah are kept secret, so I guess I want to go see General Sherman first. Or maybe Sherman first, and then I go wander around Redwood parks and Inyo county and see if I can stumble on the other two.
We’re heading out east on a road trip this fall. On the agenda? Cushing Brain Collection near New Haven, Connecticut, where there is a collection of brains ridden with tumors and disease. If that’s not a feel good thing, what the heck is? Oh, BTW, love Blue Lizard. My dermatologist turned me on to it a few years back. Good stuff.
Jenny, your vacations make everyone else’should look unimaginative! I’ve like to take my son to see Arches National Park in Utah befire he turns 18 and I can no longer insist that he get in the car and rive to things he pretends are boring. (I know it’s pretense because later I hear him telling his friends how awesome our vacation was.)
Ooo I want to road trip to Yellowstone this year. Pinkie swear I will not touch any bison or load them into my car.
I am supposed to be taking a trip to Minnesota for a family reunion, including seeing my 83 year old grandma. I would like to road trip to see the Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota while I’m there! Famous in Minnesota (and a Weird Al Yankovic song), I’ve wanted to see it for years. The Judy Garland museum is also in Minnesota, and I’d really like to check that out as well.
I would like to take my son to see the Giant Redwoods in Northern California and drive through the trees there (http://www.drivethrutree.com/home.html). I’d also like to take him on a ride on the skunk train (https://www.skunktrain.com/) and visit the mystery spot (https://www.mysteryspot.com/). That’s the road trip for me.
I would love to go slide rock it is in Arizona. It is a nature made water slide. You sit down and slide down a river. Who wouldn’t want to do that
I really want to take a road trip to Muir Woods, then make my way up the coast to Oregon and see Haystack Rock on Cannon Beach where the Goonies were filmed!
In July I’m going to be driving by myself from western Colorado to San Diego. Along the trip I want to stop at all the places mentioned in a thriller book by one of my favorite author’s Vicki Pettersson called “Swerve.” Very frightening book, but I figured I would be ok since it will be daylight. 🙂
I don’t know where I’d go specifically, but if you drive into Northern Michigan there’s always something weird. That’s where I watched a donkey basketball game that one time. (It was literally people riding donkeys and playing basketball. Like a really country version of Polo)
I want to go to the East coast. . . of Canada. . . . In the fall! You need to frame that sweet shot of Antelope Canyon!
I want to go to Seattle and do a scavenger hunt to find all the decorative art manhole covers. They move them around so there’s no map. You just have to look.
My family lives near Tucson, so I’ve had the great pleasure of visiting a lot of the places you got to on this trip. For my dad’s 70th birthday we kidnapped him and took him to the Grand Canyon on the Grand Canyon Railroad, and it was awesome.
Next time you go through that area, you have to stop in Bisbee. It’s just a little bit further down the road from Tombstone, and it has a legit haunted hotel and great food and even better coffee and bizarre people and taxidermy. And you can stay in a hotel that is made up of nothing but weirdly-decorated Airstream trailers. There’s nothing better than that.
I want to go to Napa Valley to eat at French Laundry. Considering a single meal there would take up most of the gift card, it would come in very handy!
My fiance is from Australia and I would love to take him on a road trip to see more of the states. One of the places I would love to go is the Neon Museum, they collect and preserve neon signs from Las Vegas and can learn how they were made and the significance of the signs, what roles they played in the history of Las Vegas. And seriously I would love to see the worlds largest pistachio nut.
Coral castle and Disney world in Florida. We could recreate our own version of national lampoons vacation.
Thrill rides! A road trip to seek out the best amusement parks. Who can resist a good adrenaline rush? I would end the trip with a stop in Las Vegas to marry the love of my life without the stress of a wedding… just living in the moment
Actually I recently checked one off my bucket list, but I totally need to go back. Peavey’s Monster Mart in Fouke, AR. Home of the one and only Boggy Creek Monster, memorialized in that awesome ’70s movie, “The Legend of Boggy Creek” (and its sequels). A film crew was there just a few weeks ago. My uncle was almost kidnapped by Bigfoot while camping in the Redwoods Forest once so I’ve been totally fascinated with Bigfeet(s) ever since.
Actually we have a lot of fucked up stuff in Arkansas (Crescent Hotel, Allen House, White River Monster)…I could get a lot of mileage out of $500!
I’d like to go to Graceland…just to see the jungle room.
That trip sounds awesome. I’ve always wanted to take a trip around the country to see everything. Of course, that’s entirely not practical, so I’d love to take a trip to New York City and spend an entire day walking through central park before catching a broadway show.
Family trip to Hawaii to do the Kauai Mountain tubing, snorkeling, hiking and zip lining. To be outside as much as possible!!
I’m going to see Neolithic underground burial chambers covered in Viking graffiti next month. I hear that there will be puffins nearby! I can’t wait.
There is a place just outside of St. Louis called “Foot High Pie,” and I always wanted to go there with a ruler and measure a pie to see if they were keeping their ads honest, but whoever I was driving with would never pull over. Are their pies truly a foot high? Or are they full of LIES and only, like, 11.5 inches? THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW.
I Ioved the movie Mongol, so I’d also like to visit a less Ghenghis Khan-y Mongolia to see the giant yak races (There’s a yak festival in July).
I would love to go hiking/camping in the Blue Ridge Mountains (we’ve been living in NC for 17 years and have never gotten around to visiting). Ooh, or take a road trip to Austin, Texas to visit my sister taking in all the tourist traps allong the way :-).
I want to see a geyser. Doesn’t have to be Ol’ Faithful, but it does need to be geyser-y. And while I’m there I suppose not getting eaten by bears would be good. Oh, and I want to see those cool multi-colored mineral pools that I always see on people’s travel boards on Pinterest.
Sooo did the terrible Margarita taste like inadequately stirred KoolAid and alcohol that you use to clean projectors? “Cause if so, I’m pretty sure I’ve had that same drink.
My ultimate road trip is a one to two hour drive by Limo to Momland, where your children are entertained doing cool things like circus classes, and swimming with Dolphins, and juggling fire, while you sit by the pool and get an endless round of wine slushies and foot massages. Occasionally your kids drop by to tell you how much fun they are having and how you are the best parent in the world, and your spouse takes you out to a fancy dinner and actually talks to you without mentioning your kids, or home repair.
Yay. But back to reality.
I want to take my kids on an overnight train ride, maybe to Denver, on a train with a actual booze car, and then just do totally touristy shit, like look at trees, and go “Damn those mountains are tall”.
I want to visit Salem, Mass. Have my pic taken with Elizabeth Montgomery statue. Also visit West Virginia and go to the Mothman Festival. Also have my pic taken with giant Mothman. Maybe visit the old prison where Shawshank Redemption was filmed. Pic in jail cell would be cool. Or in electric chair…..old sparky as it is called.That would be awesome! Jen
Road Trip!
Indian Head Beach, Tobermory ON. http://www-personal.umich.edu/~jensenl/visuals/album/2007/tobermory/IMG_8762.JPG
I’d love to go camping in Pictured Rocks National Lakeshore, it’s in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula.
I’m happy to say that – due to amazing parents, kids, and the better half – I have seen every one of the items you mentioned / photo’d in the blog.
Next #FunRoadTrip: Start in San Antonio at the World’s Largest Boot and end in El Paso – the Boot Capital of the World. Along the way, visit Magnificent Seven Texas Caves: Natural Bridge Caverns, Cascade Caverns, Longhorn Caverns, Wonder World, Inner Space Caverns, Sonora Caverns, and Cave without a Name. And – of course – include side trips to see anything sporting a sign that says “World’s Largest…________”.
My last road trip included a stop in Pioche, NV to which I give the highest recommendation, for the full size mannequins that populate the town (which the actual people seem not to notice but which freaked us the fuck out).
This summer I am driving cross-country on a trip with my brother and his girlfriend and their dog. We are starting with our feet in the Atlantic and ending with our feet in the Pacific. And I really really want to go see a giant ball of twine in Minnesota – not the largest overall, but the largest ball of twine .
That’s meant to read – largest ball of twine rolled by a single man.
I want to go to Washington DC and New York City. My kids have travelled to both and I’d like to experience it with my husband.
My kids and I would love to go to every state capital. We’ve already been to nine, so only 41 to go!
I would really love to drive down Route 66 from East to West!
I also would love to drive on the Pacific Coast Highway from California to Washington State, and then keep on going up to Alaska!
Also – just saw the oldest cemetery in New Orleans, including Marie Leveau’s purported tomb. Interesting facts: the entire cemetery sinks some each year, people have graffiti’d Marie’s grave as a “tribute”, Nicholas Cage bought a spot in there, the Catholic cemetery has a Protestant section in the back, and families share tombs.
On the tomb-sharing, if someone dies and then the next person passes in less than a year, they put the new dead dude in apartment-style temporary tombs and wait until the old dead dude heats up and dries out enough to turn to dust (about a year), open up the tomb, put the new dead dude in with the dust of the old one, and seal it up again.
#Awkward
Back in 2001/2002 I sold my antique camera collection so my family (hubby & 2 young boys) could take a life long dream vacation to Alaska. Sadly my hubby, Brian, passed away unexpectedly on July 9th 2002. He was my protector from the world that terrified me and I went to some dark places until I knew I had to fight the anxieties, depression & failing health to raise our 2 boys….age 10 & 6 at that time. It took a long time and a lot of work but in 2008 we finally took our dream vacation. Might sound a little crazy but we took my beloved Brian with us. He was cremated and every place we visited in Alaska I spread some of his ashes. So his resting place(s) go from our farm in Western NY to Anchorage, AK to a dozen or so places from Fairbanks, AK to Homer, AK!
Not sure any other trip could top that but I do hope to eventually move to Alaska and when I do I hope to hit all the National Parks, travel south to route 66, see some of the weird and go to see the giant sequoia trees then head North to get on the Alcan to head to my new home, away from people😂
I told my wife I wanted to visit Uranus. She said there wasn’t enough money in the world. I don’t think even Blue Lizard could fund that trip. (Sorry, at 48 my juvenile humor still kicks in from time to time.)
I so badly want to go to Dollywood!!
For my Mom’s “last” family vacation, she wants us to DRIVE to Ohio to see a made- to -scale Noah’s Ark, which opens coincidentally the same week as the Republican Convention (also in Ohio). Knowing God has a sense of humor… (you fill in the rest). BTW, if I was Noah I would definitely take two raccoons (for selfies), but would definitely shut the door on the Opossum bastards!
Totally want to see the Grand Canyon.
I would like to go to the Kentucky Horse Park to see the burial site of Man O War. He was actually buried in a horse size casket on the grounds of the park & it’s marked with a bronze statue of him. My horse has Man O War in his bloodline 3 times, so I’d like to see where his granddaddy is laid to rest!
My friend and i are taking a road trip this summer from TN to TX and I have already scanned the comments for must have stops along the way. With two girls from the northeast we are definitely going to need some SPFage.
I’d love <3 to do the complete ring tour of Iceland during summer when it’s light out 24 hours/day. 😀
I never say no to entering a giveaway, so here I am. Entered. Plus, I love road trips. Win win.
I have seen The Thing! We used to live in El Paso, so drove by on several road trips. I was as disappointed as Victor. I would love to go see the Grand Canyon, on the way to the Pacific Northwest. That’s the area of the country we haven’t explored yet.
I want to travel US Highway 31 All the way north and all the way south.
I also want to travel US 50 from coast-to-coast .
We live within a half hour drive of the crossroads of US 50 and US 31 In Indiana and I would love to show my kids (Ages 3, 6, and 8) where those highways go that they travel just small portions of pretty frequently . Oh the things we will see , The places we will go !
I’d like to go to the Wax Museum in London.
I love weird road trips! Have you seen the mummies in Philippi West Virginia? And Noah’s Ark? One that’s on my current list is Benson’s Park in New Hampshire – it used to be a zoo and is now a park where you can hang out in the animal cages AND there’s a huge model of the Old Woman Who Lived In a Shoe’s shoe! (http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/bensons-park) [Also, being outside, definitely need the sunblock]
There are so many places I wanna visit, and so little time/money to make it so! I love all the recommendations of stuff to do in Arizona cos I have a friend there I want to visit and need stuff to do while I’m there. Also wanna visit New Orleans for all the music and culture and Florida to see Harry Potter World. And very far off in the future I want to travel all over Europe and see all the things that there are to see (and not just the usual tourist stuff). Oh, and I wanna go on a cruise cos BOATS. Basically I need to get a job that lets me travel cos there’s so much to see and not enough me to go around the world to see it.
I’ve always wanted to see the grand canyon in person. We went on a road trip when I was a kid of about eight years old. We were supposed to stop and see it then, but traffic and a side-of-the-road car breakdown meant that we passed it in the middle of the night. My parents woke us kids up, had us look out at the darkness as they said, “this is the grand canyon, we didn’t want you to miss it” HUH! That does not count. I did NOT see ANYTHING but total darkness. pout Anyway now that I’m nearly 43, I think it’s about time I make up for that fiasco and see it for real. LOL
We took the family to Jerome this past November and loved it!
I’d like to go to England. Yeah the Queen, Big Ben, yadda yadda. But they also have Alnwick Poison Garden. Every single plant is poisonous with a big skull and crossbones on the gate. I have to assume that there are no bugs, because poisoned, so we can sun ourselves all day amongst the deadly leaves and never even have to swat. Win/win.
What a fabulous trip!!!! You totally cracked me up, Jenny. Glad you guys had such a blast!
Weird? Weird is entirely based on perspective – if you’re a zombie, going to Steak and Shake would be weird, but going to a zombie apocalypse would be normal. So seeing a big ass nut might be weird and then it might not.
My road trip – I want to go see the Nutty Narrows Squirrel Bridges in Longview, WA. These people think enough about their squirrels to build bridges for them, not one, not two, but three bridges dedicated to moving squirrels above their, apparently, squirrel un-friendly streets below. And besides that, they have a squirrel festival in August. No shit. That’s exactly what I thought. A festival for squirrels (and no, they won’t have squirrel stew) complete with a performance by Edgar Winter. What better way to celebrate the squirrel in your life than with Edgar Winter and giant squirrels.
I want to know what makes these squirrels so important that they get to have their own festival, plus some pretty cool bridges, so I’ve got to go see this!! Plus sunscreen! I’ll need lots and lots of sunscreen while I search the squirrel overpasses for these much revered, furry tailed mammals.
Because there’s always a musical reference: “The Thing ahead sixty miles, do not miss! Not for the squeamish or depressed, not for the unbelievers, truly obsessed. Something you just don’t wanna miss.”
I’d like to see the catacombs under Paris. It’s where they buried the dead when the cemetaries got full!
Thanks for your trip highlights. I love seeing where other people travel!
I want to visit the lava fields in Nicaragua!
If you’re tired of Phallic Rock then head on over to Vag Gorge! What a wonderful world!
I am not a beach person at all, but I have suddenly developed a deep and abiding yearning to visit Key West. Maybe it’s the ex-English teacher in me identifying with Ernest Hemingway. Or a need for real Key Lime Pie. Could be that.
I want to travel back see my childhood again, before my dad died of skin cancer in the early 70s. That would be an awesome road trip, to get to know him a little more. But … going to Florida with my daughter in June, to visit some colleges. We are camping in a VW bus we rented. I want to stop by the place my mom and dad bought the little sailboat they sailed on for three years in the 50s, before they returned to California to have us kids. Wish they had had better sunscreen back then. You bet I slather it on my daughter now.
I’d love to go to Chicago and see where my grandma grew up.
Can my road trip include a ferry ride? I’m an American living in England and I’d love to go to Ireland to see a goat crowned as king (http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/king-puck) because, really, who would be more sensible as a leader than a goat?
I want to roadtrip to Talkeetna, Alaska to visit their mayor, Mr. Stubbs, who is a cat!!!
I’ve love to see the Northern lights. Iceland!
So many awesome trip suggestions! I would love to see all the cool, weird, kitchy stuff, but I don’t think I can convince my husband to go along with that. However, I COULD talk him into going to Frankenmuth, Michigan. His parents went there several times and I know I could talk him into it.
Why Frankenmuth? World’s biggest Christmas store. Yep – Christmas in July.
I have always wanted to take my dogs to the celebration of pit bulls they have in Austin every year. http://love-a-bull.org/news-events/npad/
I want to do a road trip to Glacier NP USA and Glacier Canada with my siblings. I think we’ve passed the point where I want to toss them into glacier-cold waters, but you never know what will happen with us.
I was BORN in Arizona yet I’ve never been to the Grand Canyon. I would love to see that. There are actually a lot of things in this country I would love to see. I like your version of a road trip better than Victor’s, just for the record.
I want to go see the Georgia Guidestones and track down the bastards who wrote that sh*t and ask them “What the f**k?”. Then take a trip to the Champion 4 toilet manufacturer, so I can flush 16 golf balls down that bad-ass toilet, because hubby won’t let me flush them down our toilet. He’s a party pooper.
I can’t believe you bypassed limp penis rock. That’s just so… deflating.
I would dearly love to go to Las Vegas and see the Neon Boneyard museum of old, cool neon signs.
You know how to live, Jenny Lawson…
I’d like to check out a Peonies farm! These flowers make my heart happy and one could NEVER have enough! There’s one in Maryville, MO – keep the hubs and kids there as long as they can stand it then head to Nashville…no way that’s not pretty cool!
I bet the Thing was the foot of the giant whose hands they cut off.
I’ve always wanted to visit the Smithsonian’s National Air and Space museum
I went to the Grand Canyon for the first time ever recently, but I didn’t have to pee. Now I kinda wish I had, I would have live to see (and photograph) that sign!
I would love to see the Grand Canyon, or any of the parks in Utah (Zion, Bryce Canyon, etc.). It’s difficult road tripping with my husband though, as he never wants to stop and noodle around in little towns and just vroooms past all the cool stuff. I would have manhandled him to insist that we visit Penis Rock and the Nut, though. No vrooming allowed.
I love road trips and the random things you see! Like ghost towns you didn’t know existed or the biggest ball of yarn. Mostly I just love to see the changing scenery while listening to good music!
I’d like to take a road trip down the Oregon coast. But I want to fly there because I hate driving and I’m not the best at riding shotgun either because I always am afraid I’ll have to go to the bathroom and there won’t be one when I need it. And no, I wasn’t going to drink out of the toilet.
I want to visit the Grand Canyon too!
This is the kind of road trip that Neil Gaiman would definitely approve of. Good job!!
I so would have gone to the flaccid penis, just because. I’d love to see the Grand Canyon, have never been out west. I take unscheduled road trips all the time because I have the worst sense of direction ever in history and the GPS seems like cheating…
First of all, Blue Lizard…yes. I love their product, it’s all we use at our house! Second of all, we want to go to Yellow Stone! My husband likes to camp and I want to see a bear…though preferably from the car on the way out and not while sitting at the campsite!
I can tell you for certain that Arizona does not have the corner on the best/big holes market. On a road trip I was on I discovered a giant, fantastic hole in England called The Hole of Holcrum. It wasn’t even sign-posted or anything. I just stumbled across it, then realized it was on the map, just no signs. Go see it, it’s fantastic. When I was there I was with an asshole, and that made it less than awesome. So I would like to go back to that hole with my husband to complete the awesomeness of it. I will need sunscreen.
I googled to see what The Thing is. I’m so lame.
Oh, man! I want to take my little nugget to Yellowstone Park next summer. Can’t wait to go! And we’ll pass creepy Lincon’s Head memorial in Wyoming on the way.
Road trips are the best! About 4 years ago my best friend and I decided we wanted to take a trip just the two of us in her car. It was a fantastic time and we even got to spend one night in Yellowstone. On the way home through Colorado however, we pulled over at some point and realized our front tire was SHREDDED to the point that the wires inside were sticking through to the outside! Luckily, this stop was at the bottom of the MASSIVE mountain we just came over. We canceled our hotel room for the night and had to find the closest campsite to stay in and make phone calls in the morning since it was getting dark and about to rain. We had to find a replacement tire (which for a 5 door Mazda in Colorado is apparently impossible because all they drive are trucks with much larger tires.) which stressed us out and I almost had a panic attack because we still ended up having to drive 30 miles to get to the place that had the tire. After all of that we decided we couldn’t handle anymore and drove 13+ hours straight to get home.
I’d LOVE the opportunity to drive back east, where I have never been, driving across the northern part of the Country as I live in Washington. Or to the chance to go back to Colorado and finish those last few days of my ill fated trip. There are also so many places in my new adopted state I would love to see too though. I’d love to take a trip further north to the San Juans and get to see Orcas in the wild!
There are two natural wonders that I am desperate to see. Volcanoes and the Northern LIghts. Both are available in Iceland. I have a plan to save up and go to Iceland and spend 10 days driving around the perimeter and following roads inland when the mood strikes. All the pictures I’ve seen make it seem like one of the most weird and wonderful places on earth.
CERN/The LHC in Switzerland/France… Not really a road trip but I’m pretty sure they’re hiding a Stargate down there. But seriously it’s where they created the Internet, is the largest man made structure in human history and will most likely discover the God particle… And I heard the food court is good.
we’re headed to moosejaw to see the al capone smuggling tunnels. also i’d love to go to that cheese festival somewhere in europe where they roll giant wheels of cheese down a hill. it’s a waste of cheese but it would be fun.
As a psychologist, I’d love to take a road trip to see Phineas Gage’s skull (and the tamping iron that went through it) at the Warren Anatomical Museum. As that is on the other side of the country from me, I’m sure I could find other famous skulls or psychology historical sites to check out on the way. I also would love to hit the Museum of Neuroanatomy in Buffalo. Road trip for brains & skulls!
Although my family did lots of road trips when I was a kid, and there are a ton of places I’d still like to see, I think I’d have to say I really want to do a road trip to Flamingo, Florida. Since I’m already in Florida, it wouldn’t be too far in a car (this state is huge!). And I LOVE flamingos – they are pink, and awkward (like me), and yet graceful when they fly – so I have to go someplace named after them (even if there aren’t any there). It is at the southern tip of the state, through the Everglades (and I love natural Florida). I hear the views are simply beautiful, although I also hear there are so many mosquitoes and they are so big that you could get carried off by them and never be seen again. So, I guess I’d have to spend half of the $500 on mosquito repellent. Or a bazooka. (“You looking at me, mosquito?) Or maybe a suit of armor.
I hope Alaska is considered the US!! (sometimes people insist it’s not… so unfair) I TOTES want to go whitewater rafting up in McCarthy, Alaska. It’s a tiny ass town that you can’t drive to. You’ve got to drive to a bridge and then walk the rest of the way. Dogs roam free and the whole town stops in the evenings to play softball together while drinking.
awesome sauce
I’ve wanted to go tour Carlsbad Caverns ever since I first learned about them in 4th grade. (I’m 39 now, you do the math.) My parents waited until I was in college and then went without me. While they did bring me back a cheesy plastic torch lamp with an orange bulb and a fan that blows strips of gauzy fabric upwards to look like flames, I was still kind of pissed that I didn’t get to go too. So, yeah. That’s probably the road trip I’d take. With a detour to Roswell. Because I’m not saying it’s aliens… but it’s probably aliens.
Jenny, I’d use that gift card for a trip to Philadelphia. Why Philly? Well, besides finding the basketball court that the opening credits of Fresh Prince of Bel-Airwas filmed on, I’d like to take my kids to the Sesame Street place there and see the liberty bell. Because ‘merica.
Non-funny comment. I really want to take my family to Yellowstone. 15 years ago this summer, my wife and I (who hadn’t even been married for 2 years) were to take a motorcycle trip from our home in Virginia with my parents (from TX). We were to meet up in St. Louis, ride to South Dakota and see Mt. Rushmore on the 4th of July and then head to Yellowstone (among other stops). Unfortunately, my father passed away the Sunday before we were supposed to leave on the trip. My wife and I have never made it there. Now, two kids later, we have been doing our best to show our kids as many great sights as we can. I’ve been avoiding Yellowstone, but I think it’s time to add it back to the list.
The Best Friends Animal Sanctuary has been on my list for over twenty years. I want to spend a week walking cats and petting cats and having sleepovers and kitten-sitting in the nursery. I want to visit Angel’s Rest to say hi to the beloved souls who have passed on. Cat World, Dog Town, Horse Haven, Parrot Garden, Bunny House – they even have a Piggy Paradise. I am sure the Grand Canyon is awesome but my first choice is Angel Canyon! No lizards though, so I will need to bring my own!
I would like to go on a sewer tour of Paris, France. It was something my dad took many years ago.
I’ve always wanted to visit the La Brea tar pits, because who WOULDN’T want to see a bunch of ancient dead animals that made terrible TERRIBLE life choices? Plus, Bugs Bunny tried to go there but ended up in Scotland instead. Don’t get me wrong, Scotland would be nice to visit too, but I hear they only get 0.4 days of sun a year. Plus, going to a place that Bugs Bunny never could find, I feel would be a self-esteem booster. Additionally, knowing you would never fall for the ol’ struggling tasty looking mammoth in the tar pit of death thing, I feel is also good for one’s self-esteem. And that’s why everyone should visit the La Brea tar pits.
While I could never attempt to recreate the odd glory that is your road trip, there’s a real working(growing?) tea plantation in the USA. It’s in Charleston, which is apparently a famous and historic city. But tea! Hundreds of kind of tea. Right in the USA. Oh and there’s a giant tea drinking frog sitting on the porch available for photos.
World’s largest ball of twine!! Or really, anything that was along the way in the various National Lampoon road trip movies…Cousin Eddy!!! 😀
It’s not actually very far from my house, but US-12 in Michigan used to be a main road for people traveling between Detroit and Chicago, and there are so many kitschy tourist traps that I would love to go to – The Mystery Spot, The Old West Town, the Prehistoric Park (which I know isn’t open anymore but I still want to stop and take a picture of the crazy looking long neck they have out front), etc. It would be the perfect weekend trip!
I want to go to Australia and fight a kangaroo. With my current stress level, I’d probably win.
I want to road trip North Dakota’s Enchanted Highway!
#restingtrumpface Classic!
I really want to go back to Big Bend National Park again.
Funny enough, I actually want to go to the Grand Canyon! I’ve never been out west (I live in Indiana), except for Denver and Vegas, and I’ve always wanted to go!!
I want to go on a road trip around New England. Mostly, I want to go to the beach.
My mouth gets me in trouble. Like, a lot. I went through a recent break up because apparently I say the wrong things at the wrong times, as I am forever awkward and possibly in need of a censor. Therefore, I would go see and kiss the Blarney Stone in Ireland in order to achieve a hopefully non-idiotic gift of gab.
The Portland area. My husband is desperate to find a Bigfoot, and that’s supposed to be prime territory.
I really want to go visit my brother in Brooklyn before his neighborhood is ruined by hipsters. Food and Wine just referred to where he lives as ‘an emerging neighborhood’ so time is running out. I’m sure he will take me to see the weirdest things in NYC, or at least to eat some weird things.
I would love to take a road trip that involved traveling to various locations to ride the top ten tallest roller coasters in the U.S. This would, of course, involve renting an RV and dragging my family, who are either too small (kiddos) or too scared for roller coasters (looking at you, husband). They can go on the other rides, while I wait in hours-long lines for rides that typically last for less then two-minutes. Why would I want to do this, you may ask? Because riding on a roller coaster envokes every primal survival instinct and crystallizes one’s senses making the moment feel like LIFE!
It’s not so much where I’d like to go but when I was married, I wanted to go see the Grand Canyon and my now ex said “No, it’s just a big hole in the ground” so I started looking for other attractions in the area and found the meteor impact site (literally just a big hole in the ground) and so he agreed to go to see the Grand Canyon if we could go see the meteor hole. I just shook my head.
I really want to go down to Santa Fe for La Fiesta Dr Santa Fe. Its the celebration of the reconquest of Santa Fe by the Spaniards so lots of food and celebration. Oh and it kicks off with the burning of a giant puppet named Zozobra (or old man gloom)
I want to see Stonehenge but my passport is expired. My 2nd choice is to go visit some ghost towns/”haunted” hotels since, as a,medium, my experience would be really creepy-awesome!!
I want to take the fam to see a nutria and gator farm in Southeastern Louisiana where I grew up. These Texas kids will never understand the glory of a nutria until they see it’s orange teeth in person. I’d also like to take them to the Lost Maples because they have no concept of what fall really is.
I would like to get my picture taken at the sign for Big Bone Lick State Park, which is, not coincidentally, relatively near Beaver Lick State Park, I believe. I would like to take a road trip there.
Wow…. You almost made me miss living in Arizona…. I’m glad you made it to Jerome, definitely seems like your type of town…
I want to go to the upper left corner of the USA somewhere, because I’ve never been. Plus I hear they make some good wine aroundabouts there. Plus plus I want to see if it’s their weather the east coast has snagged (omg, the gray and the rain and the gray and the rain and and and). Maybe they have our east coast weather and I can bring it back.
Oooh, thanks for the sunscreen recommendation! We’re almost out of the sunscreen we got when in New Zealand and I no longer have a connection there to get more! We’re really, really white white people who live in Southern California, so good sunscreen is essential.
So many places I’d love to go, including back to New Zealand to see the South Island since we only had time to do the North Island, but that’s way too long of a trip to do with a three year old. So, staying domestic, I’d really love to go back to Joshua Tree National Park. We managed an afternoon there on one trip, and it just wasn’t enough time to do it justice.
I want to go to the Mall of America, and hit all the fun stuff along the way, like the Corn Palace in Mitchell, SD. That place is awesome and silly. Mostly silly.
I would like to go see those pretty holes!
I love baseball and visiting minor league ballparks. There’s a team in Akron, Ohio named the Akron Rubber Ducks who i would love to go watch because who knew rubber ducks could play baseball!? It’d be an awesome road trip from Missouri and I would definitely buy a jersey and hat. 🙂
Sounds like a fun family trip! My parents used to take us to the Rattlesnake Roundup every year so you aren’t the only ones to go weird..lol. I would like to go to the Gathering of Nations Powwow in Albuquerque, NM. Would definitely need sunscreen and could take in the sights along the way as well…
Road trips are wonderful, we have routinely driven all over the country because the military moved us. I would love to do the Highway 1driving tour of California. If you go to the visit California web page they have this great 7 day driving tour next to the coastline. It looks divine. It is a state that we have never lived close to, but I was born there and moved when I was a wee gal of 2. I will have to try Blue Lizard with all the sunshine. I would have to go to the Redwood forest and add a couple of days… and I have always wanted to go to Yosemite… so many places to see… so little money. We did the AZ road trip but we missed the pistachio and antelope canyon. We did stop and put our feet on four corners of four states. Fun times and memories.
I want to take a road trip to Marpha, TXamd from there in to New Mexico. Also, since I just read about the Stonehenge replica I want to go to there, too.
Every time we drive to Cleveland there are billboards for miles advertising GRAMPA’S CHEESE BARN. Nobody will ever let us stop. I would like to win and take my own damn self to Grampa’s cheese barn.
I, myself, would love to go see the giant artichoke in Castroville, California.
Many years ago, my best friend was on a business trip unbeknownst to me, in California.
She called me and told me that she was in the artichoke capital of the world.
I replied, “You’re in CASTROVILLE?!?!?”
She said, “You know this place???”
I made her bring me back a t-shirt and a “Ya gotta have heart” magnet.
I still have them to this day.
Penguins. I want to see all of the penguins everywhere. I’m most recently fascinated by the new Polk Penguin conservation center at the Detroit Zoo.
I have a 7 y.o son named Wonder (not hippies, but there is long, semi-interesting story of how we landed on that name). I grew up poor and summer vacays were tents in the backyard or weekend at a nearby lake kind of thing. Never saw much of the US–had never been outside California until my 20s. I dream of doing a summer family RV ‘road trip’ type adventure targeting locations or weird roadside sights that have ‘Wonder’ in the name. I guess that might include The Thing since the banner states ‘It’s A Wonder!’… Would have to include phallic rock because, you know 7yo boy. To date, his favorite vacation memory is gleefully, “The Penis Tree!!!” (among the Giant Redwoods in Northern California). Boys are weird.
Hmmmmm. I have done Savannah ghost tours and I HIGHLY recommend them, but I would love to visit somewhere haunted that I have never been before! New Orleans, St. Augustine, FL, or that hotel from The Shining would be amazing! OH! Or a place on the ocean where you can actually see through the water to the sand beneath. Yep. Any of those. thumbs up, 7up!
I want to take that road trip which takes you through all of the lower 48 states. My husband is a NASCAR aficionado however, so I worry it will be a lot like Cannonball Run. But with cranky kids in the back.
There’s a mini Stonehenge here at utpb. It’s not impressive, mainly because jack rabbits come bursting out of nowhere and scare the crap out of you, because you’re certain it’s a snake. And walmart is across the street.
I want to see Yellowstone. And go to roswell new mexico and see if I can spot an alien.
I really want to take my kiddo to Niagara Falls and about a million other places, but first on our list is the falls. I’ve never been there either so it will be a first for both of us, although probably a bad idea since I have both mild claustrophobia and vertigo and it seems like both might come into play there.
I have a little problem when I read of using words not on the page. I couldn’t figure out why someone was torturing tortises for instance.
I want to go somewhere close that I can do in a day because I have no one to watch my furbabies… I would like to go to George RR Martin’s theatre in Santa fe. It’s something I wasn’t to do but won’t without extra money because we are a one income house. I’d also walk around Santa fe, so the sunscreen will definitely come in handy. I could also by my mum and dad and grandmas some nice gifts while in Santa fe. 🙂
I want to see Devil’s Tower in Wyoming. It has a cool, creepy, history & it’s where the aliens wanted the people to go in Close Encounters of the Third Kind (my hubby really enjoys movies in space/with aliens/blobs coming to eat you).
I want to visit Area 51, I’m really into aliens, and everyone that works there is one. 😊
I want to see Mexico…specifically Tijuana (thank you spell check…I totally butchered that!) and drink the tequila in a bar & a big sombrero because I can.
I live in Minnesota, and we have a Spam museum that I have yet to visit. So I would like to road trip there, because it’s totally doable and would produce lots of shennanigans, I’m sure.
I’d love to see the Four Corners and place all the family members in different states!
I would like to drive the PCH and hit up all the haunted houses and ghost towns and Alcatraz at night and do ghost hunting tours.
So I am thinking trips to see old tombstones all over! Of course, I would have to tell my hubby it was a food trip to try mom and pop burger joints!
When Hubby and I plan a road trip, we always bank some time to stop and check out something totally unexpected. We always say, “After all, we still haven’t found the world’s biggest ball of twine, right?” During a recent road trip, guess what we found? The world’s biggest ball of twine. Seriously. http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/23134. Our road trip days are over and we will slowly slip into a life of quiet decay.
I’ve just added penis rock to my must-see list, so thanks for that. My friend Patti and I have been taking road trips lately because we’re trying to escape our children and sample ALL the BBQ in Texas. I would love to get serious and take this meat-fest across the country to compare and contrast regional styles.
Huh. Well I’ve already been on a road trip which involved me hitting a bird, a swarm of bees, and seeing a sign that said “DETENTION CENTER: DO NOT STOP FOR HITCHHIKERS”, so it’s hard to top that. However I’d love to go to Yellowstone and see the geyers and some buffalo and maybe a bear, but from inside the car.
Our family is planning a road trip to the Grand Canyon, Zion National Park and Bryce Canyon. And hopefully some other weird stuff along the way!
Although I have never seen the Grand Canyon, I just saw that a Roman barracks has been discovered where Italy was trying to build a new metro – and I totally want to go see that now!
Holy shit, I need to know what The Thing is. Now.
Several years ago the BF and I took a great vacation in Colorado, New Mexico, and Utah…went to several of the National Parks (including Canyonlands and Arches) but I definitely wanna do Zion, Yellowstone, and a few others that we had to eschew. $500 would go along way towards making that happen!!
I just wanna take my baby and my husband to see my Mom in the mystical land of Texas. But I guess that’s not very interesting/exciting!
I want to see The Worlds Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota, you know the one Chevy Chase and his family went to see in the Vacation movie..yeah, I like weird things too…your whole trip sounds awesome, except you should have side tracked to Minnesota..
Phallic rock, Grand Canyon, Giant NUTS? You were on the Holes and Poles (and nuts) tour . . . I’m jealous
Well, going to have to stay at that haunted hotel next time I visit the folks!
I’ve wanted to take a trip with my mom up the Pacific Coast Highway to Monterrey and San Francisco, so she could show me all of cool places that my parents hung out back in their hippie days before I was born. I’ve always wanted to do this and now that my mom is retired, it would be perfect!
While on a trip to Idaho I ran across 3 giant chairs in different towns and I would like to set out on a quest to find other giant chairs in the west.
I want to take my husband to Texas. I lived there for a couple of years and now his best friend lives there, so it would be fun to take him down there to go birding, see Galveston, look for some scorpions, you know… 🙂
So the hubs and I once took a road trip through eastern Colorado because we had a rental car, and because… why not. On the way there were all these signs for the 7 State tower, so I decided we had to stop. It was ridiculous. A weird mini junk yard/trailer park, all held together with lead paint and broken dreams. So we get out, and admission is $1, no problem. But the old man manning the place tells us we can get in for free if we can guess what some random item is. I just wanted to pay the dollar, but he wasn’t having it. So he brings out this big bone. Looks like a femur bone or something. So that’s what I guess, I forget hubs’s guess. And the old guy is just laughing hysterically. “Nope, nope,” he says, barely able to talk he’s laughing so hard, “it’s a whale penis!” I had no response. We still had to pay our dollar, since we didn’t guess correctly (seriously, who know whale boners had actual bones, or if he was even telling the truth…), and I’m not sure we actually saw 7 states from the top of the tower, which was a whopping 1.5 stories high, but it was kind of hilarious nonetheless. I love those random roadside attractions. 🙂
Norway. Gothic couches in Norway so I can really feel the black metal instead of just listening to it, and if course, Troll hunting in Norway.
I’m importing my fiance from Scotland this week. While he has been to the US in the past he has not gone into any of the awesomely creepy caves or that place out in California where there is a mysterious vortex or the Winchester ghost house. These are what I’d like to do for a honeymoon. You’ve also inspired me, biggest pistachio is now on my list. Who cares about Vegas…big nuts all the way.
I’d like to re-create your trip. I haven’t been to the southwest. I’d love to see the Grand Canyon and of course find out what “The Thing” is 🙂
I want to go to Carhenge! I don’t know why, but it just seems so goofy. I want to force my kids to endure a ridiculously long drive to see something that is absolutely not worth the trip. Because it’s all about the journey, right?
I’d like to go to Ohio to see the world’s largest basket and then head off to Grandpa’s Cheese Barn. My bestie moved there and I feel like I need to put these things on my bucket list after hearing about her visits there.
I would LOVE to go back to the grand canyon. Or LA to see my best friend. Or anywhere, really.
I want to go the Icelandic Phallological Museum. Because who doesn’t want to see a whole museum full of dicks?! And I’ll need the sunscreen because of the sun reflecting off the ice and snow when I leave the museum. It doesn’t get more awesome than that!
I don’t even care where I go. I just need to get out of here. (Here being a small rural town of 2300 people in Iowa). Help!! Please! I’ve been trapped here for at least six years. The last vacation I too was stopping to let my dog pee where Joseph Smith used to give speeches to his fellow Mormons and then on to a cave in a town with the same name as my town. It was actually pretty cool. Didn’t even mind the bat.
IF YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED by the thought of a 50 year old woman still having hormones- Don’t READ THIS:
I already have a trip planned to Colorado this summer, to see Jackson Browne at Red Rocks.
I am not easily star struck, but I have had a mad crush on Jackson Browne since I was 16..and I am going to be 50 this summer, that is a LONG time to have had a crush on someone and done nothing about it RIGHT?
SOOOOOO
..I was hoping I could use the $500.00 gift card to invite him to accompany me ANYWHERE after the concert ( Or Bribe him…if you want to be technical).
Then when we get ” wherever it is we are going”… I could tell him I have ” protection.”
– He doesn’t need to know it’s sunscreen. ( Stop judging, it won’t be the first time a Rock star was lied to)
There you have it,
I would like to take a road trip from Ottawa to Florida and stop do stops in all the states I have to drive through. The best stop would be the elephant sanctuary in Williston Florida to see all the retired Ringling Brothers elephants.
I want to drive from Ohio to the Grand Canyon. Part of the trip will be on the old Route 66 where we will hunt down every single goofy roadside attraction we can. Did you know that somewhere (Indiana, Illinois?) there is a mechanical dragon that will breathe fire if you put in a token that you buy at the gift shop across the street? My god, I want to go there so bad.
Also, Tombstone!! You saw it and I can’t wait to do that!! You know why? Because here lies Les Moore. 4 shots from a .44. No Les, No Moore. That is AMAZING.
My husband REALLY REALLY wants to see the space needle and eat dinner. I’ve told him i heard the food wasn’t that good. He REALLY doesn’t care. And he wants to see fish being thrown. We are in northern CA, so a drive up the coast, through redwood trees, through Oregon, pass by the Goonies house, stop at Powells and off to Seattle sounds lovely.
I think I need to go see these giant breeches in St. Louis! http://www.sillyamerica.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/St-Louis-City-Museum-050.jpg
As a new resident of Massachusetts, I would like to go on a driving tour of New England in search of the best fried clams (strips, no bellies; SORRY, NEW ENGLAND BUT THEY ARE GROSS!) and the best soft-serve ice cream cone (with crunch coat). I need underwriting! Because apparently New England is the happy land of fried clams and ice cream. I thank you.
Road trip! Um, I really want to go to Cadillac Ranch, but that might be in Texas, and I got scarred for life seeing the statue of George Bush Sr. with his jacket over his shoulder like a model at the Houston Airport, so I don’t know. Maybe a trip to see the World’s Largest Things, which are always good. Though I think the rubber band ball might be plotting world domination. Road trips are hard, man.
I want to go toward the light. A ghost light.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paulding_Light
I would love to take my boys on a roadtrip to the Winchester Mystery house. It was built by a rich lady who kinda went nuts and thought ghosts of people killed by Winchester guns killed her family for revenge! She thought if she kept building the house with stairs to nowhere and doors that led to drops into sinks, she wouldn’t die! The boys think it’s haunted, and I would love the chance to scare the crap out of them because it’s our goddamn right to keep kids on their toes! We earned it as moms, AMIRITE?! Spoiler alert: The crazy lady kept adding onto her house, but she died anyway. DON’T TRUST A PSYCHIC, Y’ALL!
Any road trip that leads me to the ocean is one I want to go on (and I could use Blue Lizard sunscreen…bonus!) But the best (weird) billboard on our last road trip was for URANUS Fudge Factory in Missouri!! “The best fudge comes from Uranus!”
Now I need to go to Antelope Canyon, but also Rooster Coburn’s Ostrich Farm and the Grand Canyon and the Grand Hotel in Jerome, AZ. I just need to tour the SW and the NW and northern mid-west and New England. I really need to get out more.
My “Irish twins” are graduating middle school, which means we only have FOUR MORE SUMMERS to ruin for them. Since they were both born in California but don’t remember much since we moved to Florida when they were 3 and 4, I’d like to take a driving trip from San Diego up to Mendocino. Sunscreen will come in handy. High on the list? Madonna Inn and Solvang, both bizarre in their own ways.
I really want to go to the Wisconsin State Fair and consume nothing but cheese.
LOL hard day, turned much better after reading this. I’d like to go visit YOU! Spend a day in Jenny’s shoes. Or just hang out under your desk.
I’d like to see all of South America. Just have a weird passion for it and want to go to every country there. Would need lots of sunscreen for that!!
My crazy kid is a huge history nut and wants to go to Washington DC and I really hope to take him there to make all his dreams come true. 🙂
That sounds awesome. I would love to take my 11 year old on a road trip while she still wants to be around me. We have been talking about going to the Grand Canyon.
Also, I live in Tucson, AZ and was wishing so badly you’d come here on your road trip.
Loved the account of your road trip. I’d like to take a road trip but my husband’s driving drives me crazy and I have a 6 year old who hates long drives. So maybe the flying kind of road trip 😉
I would go here: http://trans-alleghenylunaticasylum.com/main/hauntings.html
Because ghosts. Obv.
I’d love to take my kids to west Tx to a star party at the McDonald observatory. I think we all need some time in the big middle-of-nowhere to appreciate how we all fit into this crazy, crowded world.
Funnily enough, I just read about a great-looking roadtrip through the panhandle of FL and my hubby and I are always ready for a roadtrip!! 🙂
I really want to take a road trip to the closed Wizard of Oz theme park that they are reopening for a few days this summer. On the way I could stop at Goats on the Roof and there is a retired Disney Imagineer that built a bunch of fairy houses in the woods. Oh, and maybe the new Babyland General because it is delightfully bizarre.
I want to road trip anywhere!!!! I’d love to go to the east coast or pacific northwest. I loooooove traveling, and just don’t get to do it nearly enough.
I want to go to one of those hotels in the Poconos where they have a giant champagne glass bath tub, because I think taking a bath in a giant champagne glass would be fun and possibly scary to anyone who watches me. You know, because of the magnification.
If you ever get a chance to do the ghost tour at Port Arthur in Tasmania, do it — so freaky!
I would like to get all my girlfriends and do a grown up slumber party at the Stanley Hotel, in Estes Park, Colorado — spa during the day, and then ghosts at night. I need them all to be there with me because while I like to get scared, I’m a big chicken and need them there to be scared with me. Scared it better together!
Hey!
I’d love to take my son to some rad Caves! There seems to be some good ones we could tour in Texas including the Natural Bridge Caverns.
Thanks for the chance to win 🙂
I want to go to an island in the Sea of Abaco where my boys went on a scout trip and saw a house with a tiny little replica of itself in the yard for a curly tail lizard that lived there. It even had a tiny little sea plane and mailbox just like the real house. There is also apparently a restaurant there with the best fried chicken ever, so I’d like to go there too even though fried chicken usually doesn’t sit too well with me but is so totally worth it while I’m eating it.
I want to go to Meow Wolf!
http://arstechnica.com/gaming/2016/04/inside-meow-wolf-the-amusement-park-for-people-who-want-a-weirder-disneyland/
Seriously, why couldn’t this have opened when I still lived in New Mexico?
There is a giant rock in the Czech Republic known as The Devils Ass. I’d love to take a roadtrip thru Europe to see this. Also, I have family roots in Darmstadt, Germany, so I could easily roadtrip from there to the giant rock.
I’d like to go on a road trip to Kentucky and see all the awesome thoroughbred stallions.
I live in Michigan and a summer road trip to upper Maine / New Hampshire / Rhode Island and Nova Scocia then down along the Eastern Seaboard are on my bucket list. Prize could pay for some awesome hotels, hiking and beach time. 🙂
I want to take a road trip to the ocean. Or wait til winter and go skiing. Both will set my fair, freckled skin on fire without lizard sun care. Maybe I’ll stop on the way to find a lizard to thank for their invention.
To many places to list, but at the top would be a stay at the hotel featured in the movie Somewhere in Time!
I would love to travel to a different solar system, with new life, and hope. But I’d have to have my own private bathroom. I have issues. Or an Air Stream on Earth, visiting national parks.
My dream road trip would first be to leave the kids at home to fend for themselves so my husband and I could be alone again for the first time in 20 years. Then to take a Pullman Train trip in a vintage Pullman car where we could pretend to be Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint in North by Northwest ( only older, fatter and not as attractive) which would culminate in our having a shootout in Abraham Lincoln left nostril. (left as you look at his face, not his left that would just be weird) after which we would bind our wounds and sneak back on the train where we could sleep all the way back home.
I don’t really do road trips. Anything more than three hours in a car sends my anxiety into overdrive (pun intended) and I NEED TO GET OUT OF THE CAR AND NOT GET BACK IN. However, I would like to fly somewhere and see cool stuff like Arizona’s giant canyon hole (last seen when I was far too young to remember anything but the fact that my mom forgot to pack my dad any underwear) or the Golden Gate bridge and that big twisty street they have out there, or just somewhere lovely and beachy because lovely beach places make me very happy as a resident of Ohio.
So much fun! I love the zombie hands and now I really want to know what the THING is….I’d love to make a road trip to Key West because there is a national park there where you can take a tour while SNORKELING! How cool is that Jenny??? I’m also 300% sure that there are mermaids!
I want to go to Hawaii. I’ve been waiting to go since I was little and dream of seeing the beach, waves and botanical gardens.
I have think super rad idea to drive across Canada and take pics of these crazy random statues and make a coffee table book. Check out these 2 beauties. My hubby and girls would look pretty Husky the Musky in Kenora Ontario, the Giant goose in Wawa, Ontario and Mr PG in Prince George BC. It is my million dollar idea so I hope you all don’t steal it;)
http://www.roadtripamerica.com/roadside/Ontario-Kenora-Husky-the-Muskie.htm
http://www.wawa.cc/living-in-wawa/about-wawa/our-famous-canada-goose/
http://princegeorge.ca/cityhall/aboutourcity/mrpg/Pages/Default.aspx
I would love to go to the Alabama Gulf Coast Zoo, get a Sloth Encounter ticket and hang out one-on-one with their sloths! (There are many more things I’d like to do but that’s the first thing that popped into my head)
I love the crazy adventures you can have without leaving Texas. Below are a few places on my “40 Before 40” list.
1.) Maybe I’ll be drunk and crazy enough to visit Hippie Hollow (nude beach on Lake Travis)
No skinny dipping for us, but maybe some chunky dunking.
2.) Raft the Rio Grande screaming crazy things to the “other side”
3.) Pedernales Falls & Hamilton Pool
4.) Stay in a treehouse iat Cypress Canopies
Kind of bummed you spoiled the “do they get murdered?” question in this plot. I thought maybe it would be a really clever throwback to actually writing about ghosts by becoming a ghost and then you would be a ghost blogger and would probably have to use some kind of dictaphone to compose your posts since you wouldn’t be able to use a keyboard unless you were somehow still corporeal. Sigh. I guess you living is pretty okay, too.
I have a number of trips that I would love to go on. I would love to go to China and visit lots of different places (including Xian, Beijing and other cities). I would love to go to France and visit the place that is occasionally on island (Mont Saint-Michel), the cemetery at Normandy, Nice, Paris and others. I would love to go to Germany and visit both beautiful sites and historical places. I want to go to Italy. I want to go to Egypt and Israel – visiting the pyramids, the Sphinx, the Red Sea, Bethlehem and Jerusalem. I want to go on a trip in the United States and visit a bunch of amusement parks like Six Flags, Universal Studios, Disney Land and/or world, Cedar Point (OH), Schlitterbahn (TX), Knotts Berry Farm (CA), and Knoebels (PA). All of which would require copious amounts of Blue a Lizard. 🙂
I would love to stay in the hotel where they filmed “Somewhere in Time”! It’s on of my favorite movies!
Sometimes I think we should visit Point Pleasant, WV, but then the idea of the Mothman starts freaking me out too much, so I think I’d rather start with the abandoned OZ park and the gravity hill in North Carolina. With maybe a stop at Grandfather Mountain to hike off all the pork rinds and slushees and Ding Dongs we ate from gas stations along the way.
I would go anywhere for you (Blue Lizard); I’d run right into hell and back! Yes, I would love to take a trip anywhere to see just about anything. But if I need to narrow it down . . . that forest covered in bluebells sounds nice, as does the Garden of the Gods, someplace I can see the northern lights, and the volcanoes and forests of Hawaii.
And to the person way above who said there would be nothing to see in Ohio: http://www.atlasobscura.com/things-to-do/ohio — we have Helltown, the lunatic asylym, the house from A Christmas Story, and Cornhenge!
Both of my parents were in the Japanese internment camps during the war. I saw where my mom was interned in Wyoming. Now I want to see where my dad was interned in Arizona.
I moved to Maine four years ago and have yet to see The World’s Largest Blueberry in Wild Blueberry Land in Columbia Falls. I’m comin’ for you, Big Blue! Thanks for this – we use a lot of sunscreen in Maine (it’s not just for summer! When the sun bounces off the snow and shoots cold rays into your face, you’re very glad you remembered to slather some sunscreen on.)
Bloggess, your trip sounds like it was wacky and fun! I would love to go the New Mexico and look at their bitchen’ clouds and rocks and sky.
I want to take my kids to see all of the weird, fun places in Washington DC that I visited as a kid. We can tour the Library of Congress, see the crypt in the National Cathedral (where they have Hellen Keller’s ashes), and take my daughter who likes to chew on her hair, to the Museum of Health and Medicine to see the giant hairball they removed from a little girl’s stomach.
I just want to put the kids in the car and drive until we run out of water and snacks. Once stopped, we’ll explore the area and create our own ‘road side stories.’ I.e. This rose bush was planted by the owner of the first Corgipoo ever bred in the lower 48. It’ll be road trip and creative writing lesson all in one.
I would love to take my kids to Craters of the Moon National Park! I hear it’s like walking on the moon, only without the cool bouncing and weight loss. Also, they have something called tree molds which Wikipedia describes as “cavities left by lava-incinerated trees” which is an awesome way to phrase it.
My weird kiddo has really been wanting to visit the International Cryptozoology Museum in Portland, Maine.
What is that? “Cryptozoology is the study of hidden or unknown animals. These are usually larger zoological species that, to date, remain unverified by science, such as Yetis, Bigfoot, Lake Monsters, and Sea Serpents, as well as hundreds of other yet-to-be-found animals (cryptids) worldwide, but which compelling ethnoknown evidence has been collected for their possible existence. It also encompasses the study of animals of recent discovery, such as the coelacanth, okapi, megamouth shark, giant panda, and mountain gorilla.”
What 9 year old wouldn’t want to check that out?
I desperately want to go to the Winchester Mystery House in San Francisco. One, because it sounds cool, and two, honestly, because I enjoy the heck out of ironic karma.
And I burn like it is my job, so sunscreen is one of my favorite things.
I asked the SAME question when I was there. Like apparently someone thought, ” huh I’m really thirsty, this toilet water is probably fine.”
I’d love to go see the Grand Canyon and have been threatening to take my family for a while, though we never seem to make it. But the my family wants to see all the haunted places they can find. So maybe I’d take them to the Winchester House since I had a paranormal experience there (and even freaked out the tour guide, so YAY?) 🙂
My paranormal experience was when we started our tour I started getting really itchy, and then had what looked like a spider bite on my hip. The tour guide told us it was faster to go forward then to turn back. And in that house there are a lot of references to spiders. As we were nearing the end of the tour everyone was afraid I was bitten by something poisonous, and were freaking out. At the end of the tour I walked out of the house and the bite was totally gone, no longer swollen or itchy or anything. The guide said “well that’s the first and hopefully last time I EVER witness that”
I would LOVE to take a road trip to visit the worlds first geocache location in Portland Oregon. I started caching last year, and it has since become an obsession. It’s a great reason to get out of the house and visit some really interesting places. You’d be amazed at the creativity people show when hiding their caches. But caching isn’t cheap, and some gas/hotel money would be greatly appreciated. Also, if you’ve never heard of geocaching, you should look into it and get started! Here’s a little description from the original cache page: “On May 3, 2000, a five-gallon bucket was placed right at this very spot by Dave Ulmer containing a Delorme Topo USA, 2 CD Roms, a cassette recorder, a “George of the Jungle” VHS tape, a Ross Perot book, 4 $1 bills, a slingshot handle and a pretty notorious can of beans (now the O.C.B. trackable). The coordinates were then listed on the internet and modern-day geocaching was born.”
Road trips sound so much more exciting in the southwest! I’m in western NY. I’ve never seen a giant pistachio or a flaccid penis rock or The Thing. My town’s big oddity is the world’s oldest mini golf course. Allegedly. There’s also a two-story outhouse about 45 min from here, but you can’t use it, so what’s the point? I’ve always wanted to visit Alaska, but if I won, I’d take a road trip around Texas, Arizona, other states out that way that offer Foamhenge and Mini Stonehenge and a huge of pair of legs.
I want to visit Palm Springs, Death Valley and Joshua Tree. I would take my two Boston Terriers, Gilley and Gus, with us and would pose them in the funniest places…along with costumes. We would all slather ourselves in Blue Lizard, as I just had a chunk of skin cancer taken from my scalp. And hats…big, floppy hats.
My family (husband, son and myself) would love to take a trip to see my mom in Prescott Valley, AZ for the holidays since she’s going to be all alone for the first time since my stepfather died last year. Near her there is a lady who sells “micro mini pigs” whom I’d like to hit up for a piglet visitation, since mom’s cat Paddington died (at age 18) several years ago. If I could get micro mini pig lady to just let my mom cuddle one of her adorable piglets, I know she would be overjoyed, as mom grew up on a farm in Iowa and used to dress the piglets up in baby clothes when she was a child. And since my family are all allergic to cats, we could take her a piglet, which is hypoallergenic (they have hair, not fur) and we could all enjoy playing with it. Sadly, since they cost over 2 thousand each, I wouldn’t be able to get her one to keep, plus her dick out of state landlord requires a huge deposit for a pet and a monthly fee, which she can’t afford on her tiny SS income.
I’d like to cheat by flying to the west cost, and then drive up the Pacific Coast Highway (salt, air, beach, sunscreen – you get it), with a few days in Seattle (primarily to see the Chihuly Garden. My husband once told me that he wanted to take a glass blowing class, and I told him “no one does that,” so this would be a great way for him to get an “I told you so” win.) and Portland (primarily for Voodoo Donuts – pics with my donut leggings required of course). I feel like everyone wins here.
I would either choose to go visit my family in chicago because its been over 2 years since I’ve been able to see them… Orrrrr
Try to visit as many iconic horror movie locations as possible. My husband has been sick for the last 2 1/2 years. He loves horror movies. To be able to brighten his week/month whatever would be awesome. https://roadtrippers.com/trips/12843705?lat=40.80972&lng=-96.67528&z=5
(I hate horror movies Id much prefer to go to a comic book store or doctor who locations or the studio ghibli museum)
I would love to go to Stonehenge again.. I went once when I was really little, but do you think I can remember that shit? NOPE. I would also love to visit the Haiku Stairs of Oahu, Hawaii, because it looks gorgeous, and also because you’re not allowed to go up them, so of course, I want to go up them. (Let’s be real, though.. ain’t NO WAY my fat ass is making it up all those stairs. I bet the view is still nice from the 10th step, though.) LOVE YOU!!
I want to take a road trip from my home in Seattle, Washington to the Mojave desert in California City, California to attend a four day, Mad Max themed post apocalyptic campout. It’s called Wasteland Weekend. Think of Burning Man without all the creepy hippies.
I would like to visit World’s Largest Peach in Gaffney, South Carolina. Surprisingly, it is NOT located in Georgia, but that’s okay with me, I would rather visit South Carolina. Quick tidbit – I grew up watching the World’s Largest Ball of Twine (by one man) grow up to BE the World’s Largest Ball of Twine (by one man) as it was on the way to Grandma Daisy’s house. When Mr. Francis Johnson passed away the World’s Largest Ball of Twine (by one man) was donated to the town of Darwin and Grandma Daisy was among dozens (okay, probably a dozen) who sat in their lawn chair on the side of the road while the World’s Largest Ball of Twine (by one man) was moved to it’s current location in Downtown Darwin (pop. 243) in the Twine Ball Museum.
I want to go see the butter cow at the Iowa State fair and eat fried food.
Also I’m bookmarking this post because the comments are full of great ideas.
I want to visit a bunch of small towns on Rt 66. I will probably have to drive my Kia but I would rather drive the Wienermobile..
Montana. So I can see a whole lot of nothing. Seriously. It’s got to be one of the states that is still not over run by Walmart’s and gas stations. I’d like to go and drive to see the untouched wilderness.
I’m an Army brat so I’ve seen a lot of places. In fact, we lived in White Sands NM when I was a young kid. Did you go sliding down the dirt mounds? And the Grand Canyon is awesome, so glad you got to see it! I’d like to take my kids there so they could see some of the stuff I grew up seeing.
I’d like to say I’d road trip and do something scenic and beautiful and culturally awesome, like drive up and down the Blue Ridge Parkway and see all the spectacular things to see, but I’d probably get attacked by a bear. The Garden of the Gods in Colorado looks pretty sweet, okay it looks really amazing, but still isn’t my top choice. Neither is a waterfall road trip visiting all the falls along the Appalachian Mountains, which is more likely what I’ll be doing this summer on my not-yet-planned road trip.
Really though, the underground tours in a bunch of random cities like Seattle (or Cincinnati, but Seattle wounds way better and more city-ish) would be my ideal. It’s like a whole underground world covered up by another not underground world. Totally dream-trip-destination worthy.
I actually would love to go visit Richmond. We recently stopped there on our way through from visiting my grandma, and we were there just long enough to realize all the awesome things we would have liked to stay longer and see.
This is so amazing! You have inspired me for my vacation this summer!
I’ll never top your trip, but I have always wanted to do the length of PCH in California in a convertible.
What an awesome idea! I’ve lived in Arizona (Scottsdale area) for 2 years now and haven’t seen any of that stuff yet. (I did go to the Canyon but that was pre-AZ life). So. I thought, I would do that. Then I remembered my Mom. She’s in Massachusetts. She’s always wanted to take a road trip across the country. So, if I won, I would go on a road trip with her. From MA to AZ. And I’d take her to see the giant nut!
I want to go see moose. No real plural there. Mooses? Moosi?
Personally I would like to go visit Hell and see how many of my friends and family are there. But I don’t think they accept visitors. And my car isn’t running quite right and probably wouldn’t make the trip. I don’t think the subway goes there either. So I guess my backup plan is Hell, Michigan. But I KNOW none of my friends or family are there…maybe we can all meet up and have a picnic or something.
Im pretty sure i need to see that vampire strip club
I want to go see the most scenic urinal in the world. Not because I want to use it, mind you. I will stage a protest because the urinal has a scenic view, but the TOILET DOESN’T!!! That’s GENDER DISCRIMINATION! Or at the very least it’s urination position preference discrimination… And I will make that a thing! “WHAT DO WE WANT? SCENIC PEEING! WHEN DO WE WANT IT! NOW! (Or, you know, when we have to pee.)
https://roadtrippers.com/us/kealakekua-hi/attractions/worlds-most-scenic-urinal?lat=40.80972&lng=-96.67528&z=5
I’d like to go to Sedona, Arizona & see if I can get sucked into that mystical vortex thingy.
I said…get sucked…tee, hee.
Love ya Bloggess. You’re so F’n funny!!!
rburgess50@hotmail.com
(That’s right…hotmail damn it.)
I would like to take a road trip to Mammoth Caves…cause it’s always cooler underground yo
My friends and I come from all around both Canada and the USA so our road trip we want to do is in September! We want to go to Toronto and the weird things we would see are each other ’cause we are some… unusual folks to say the least.
Jerome was awesome was it not? Is the old brothel still there???? We stayed at that hotel but alas no ghost sightings! We would love Yosemite to be our next trip, but now I am really thinking I need to find out what the “THING” is!
I most like to see the Dr. Who/Sherlock Theme Park but since it won’t be open until like 2020, I could deposit my winnings and it will hopefully have gained enough interest to fly myself and my daughter to England when it is open. Otherwise, anywhere out of Florida. Seriously, there is nothing really good here like a giant ball of twine.
I’d like to visit Venice Beach. I asked Google for driving directions once… and giggle every time I think about it telling me to “merge right at Albuquerque and go 847 MILES.” LOL I mean… Bugs tells us over and over to take the left turn!
@Mickey (#14): I’ve been to all 50 and I’m still alive, so you’re probably okay. Also, if you have to miss one, North Dakota might be the best one to miss. No offense to the people of ND but there’s very, very little there. But if you you are going, try the Theodore Roosevelt National Park (far west side). It’s the only place I’ve ever seen a porcupine in the wild.
I live in Nova Scotia, so I’m not eligible to win this fantastic prize, but I have had melanoma, so I say, “Bravo” for promoting the use of sunscreen. Thank you Jenny, and thank you Blue Lizard. And just as an FYI, I would love to see the Grand Canyon, and the giant redwoods. 🙂 Good luck, everyone!
I need to go to Key West so I can high five Ernest Hemingway’s polydactyl cats 🙂
One of my mom’s friends from work is trying to visit the grave of every president (who is currently dead). I’d love to be able o do something morbid like that
I live for weird and wonderful! My game plan to visit the weirdest place in the United States… Washington D.C. I mean honestly, does it get any weirder than there? To road trip there from Dallas will be an adventure. My husband will want to stop at random fruit stands and then get mad with the fruit isn’t grown locally. I will want to drive as quickly as I can to the next place we are going… I just don’t dawdle! BUT! If I found a cool penguin, I’d be down to stop and visit.
Also, thank you for saying that the Grand Canyon is a Giant Ass Hole in the Ground. I’ve been saying that for years and honestly can’t imagine myself standing near the edge of the thing check it out… Because my husband would push me over the edge when I said, “Hey… That’s a Giant Ass Hole in the Ground.”
I would probably take my family to Charleston, SC for a few days. Aside from the fact that the seafood there is amazing, there’s a ton of pirate-themed stuff, including pirate boat tours and museums and ghost walks. I’ve always wanted to go. I’d also like to be a pirate. We may even settle the great pirate-ninja debate once and for all, and go dressed as ninja-pirates. Or pirate ninjas. We’ll figure it out.
Ooo! What a great giveaway! I would love to go see the Mima Mounds on the Olympic Peninsula in Washington & then on up to the haunted hotel in Port Townsend, Manresa Castle. And also the Olympic Game Farm which is like a drive-through zoo.
You have the best trips!
I want to take my family to Santa Fe to go on a hot air balloon ride!
For my road trip, I would love to take my 4 yr old and 8yr old to a little park outside Orlando. You’ve probably guessed it… Gatorland! Shit yeah Gatorland! Where did you think? That other kingdom run by a mouse? PSSHHT!?! Don’t you know mice carry the plague virus? Look it up! Why would I want to take my family to a place run by infested vermin? They are CHILDREN! Gatorland is where we would head. I would happily drive 15 hours in close quarters so the girls could see the world famous “Jumpin’ Gators”. They would love to see a 15-foot, long-snouted dinosaur jump out of the water to rip a five pound chicken out of Gatorland staff member’s hand. EN-TER-TAIN-MENT! The wife and I could proudly explain “Look girls! That is what Papa’s Harley seat looked like before it went to the factory!” So, there is there is also an educational element. If sponsored, we would proudly wear our Blue Lizard Australian Sunscreen on the entire trip. We would also give it to ALL of the English people we see. Like, from England, we’re not Amish referring to other people. I own a car. English people must have no concept of skin protection. When Julie and I used to go to the beach, you could easily spot the English. They wouldn’t be red from sunburn, they would be PURPLE! Seriously! Just half would be purple; either the front of the back, whichever way they fell asleep. We walked into a Winn-Dixie in Daytona one time and I let out an audible gasp when I spotted one poor basterd. He looked like a picture found in a medical book. Sunburned English folks make me flinch from shock like nothing else. Well, them and a Mapplethorpe picture I saw by accident one time. “MAPLE TREES” Google image search!! THANK YOU!! So, yeah, I’d take the kids to Gatorland!
I would love to go to Ireland. I’ve heard there’s a mound in Meath that only sees the sun twice a year. Kind of like me. We’re kindred mound/people.
I want to go to New Zealand and take a Super Nerd Lord of the Rings tour. Wizards and Orcs and Balrogs, Oh My!
Looks to have been one hellofa great road trip!! Jerome is one of my favorite places in Arizona! You definitely hit the important highlights! 😉
I have always wanted to drive route 66 and go to meremac caverns.
Even though it doesn’t involve leaving my state, I want to take a Southern Oregon road trip through Crate Lake (our only national park!), the Upper Klamath, and around Steens Mountain. Basically an excuse to drive/camp our way through the middle of nowhere 🙂
Okay, this would be a road trip you should take with me… to Lizard Lick. And if we rent a convertible, the perfect opportunity to use Blue Lizard sunscreen. But bring your birth certificate just in case we need to stop at a rest area because it’s in North Carolina. Really. It’s a real place in NC. Look it up. And on the way we can drive slow past the governor’s mansion and shout obscenities and try not to get arrested. ;o)
I badly want to visit the Museum of Icelandic Sorcery & Witchcraft. They have on display a pair of Necropants – a pair of pants made from the skin of a dead man, which are supposed to create infinite wealth for the owner (as long as you add a stolen coin from a widow, and keep it in the the scrotum of the pants). Amazeballs.
weirdwonderfulwanderlust.blogspot.com
I’ve wanted to see that flaccid penis since you posted it on Instagram. But for realsies, I’ve never been to New York, and that’s kind of un-American.
One thing I’ve always wanted to do is go see some of the old ghost towns out west. When I was in college I got really into ghost towns for no reason whatsoever. There was one not far from my school in the Adirondacks called Tahawus that I went to quite frequently. It was an old mining town that people just left in the middle of the 20th century and some of the houses are still left in varying degrees of decay. I loved going there.
Heading to Yellowstone this summer and my husband keeps talking about going horseback riding. I was ok until I looked at the pictures and realized that there are mountains and they expect us to be able to control the wild animals while looking down a giant cliff. Sure, let’s go and do that.
Holy shit! Right between the asshole Ostrich & the flacid penis rock, you passed my house!
So, while this may not be cool, witty, OR exciting for anyone to read, I would use the $500 to take my 16 uear old to vist the college she’s already been accepted to (yep, graduated 2 years early). Because, sadly, this SMC (Single Mom by Choice – adopted my amazing girl) can’t afford to do college road trips out of state and feels like a damn failure. 😔
I’ve traveled all over the country and the world, but I’ve never done the iconic Route 66 road trip – in all its kitschy glory!!!!
I have been needing to take a road trip to Maine for a while. Maine, because I can bring my dog with us, he counts as part of my favorite people (or my most favorite person, depending on how my husband is acting today).
I want to find a rocky tidal pool to check out.
706Valerie P. | May 18, 2016 at 1:45 pm
Holy shit! Right between the asshole Ostrich & the flacid penis rock, you passed my house!
So, while this may not be cool, witty, OR exciting for anyone to read, I would use the $500 to take my 16 uear old to vist the college she’s already been accepted to (yep, graduated 2 years early). Because, sadly, this SMC (Single Mom by Choice – adopted my amazing girl) can’t afford to do college road trips out of state and feels like a damn failure. 😔
SO sorry I had to re-post. My phone posted before I added my e-mail!
I would love to go to Africa and see the animals. Or to that air BnB in Paris that has a room inside a shark tank. That would be freaking awesome. I wouldnt use sunscreen there but I live in the desert, i would take advantage of that in other times 😉
I want to go to Paris and do the sewers tour. Like, sure the Louvre, take me to the sewers.
I want to take my kids, hubby, and mom to the diamond crater park in Arkansas. You dig in dirt, and you can find and keep diamonds. I’ve been wanting to go for decades. The closest I’ve ever got is the visitor center, which my dad lasted at for 29 minutes before making the family leave. My mom still reminds dad of that sorry excuse if a visit. Choose me, and I’ll finally get that vacation for both her and me.
I would like to road trip to Wisconsin, stopping in Chicago and Madison, and a few other places along the way. I have this idea of starting out with one or two friends and picking more up along the trip, ending in a crazy visit to House on the Rock (trippy as F**K on the inside – look it up!). Then start the equally strange journey home, dropping off friends on the way and getting a little more normal as each road tripper leaves the group.
I just want to take my Mom back to Galveston to see the gulf again. I’m sure there is something weird to see there.
ps. There is no “The” in Smokey Bear 🙂
We’re going on a road trip in a couple of weeks! From Tucson, where we live, to New Orleans, where I’m from. Texas is a desolate landscape for most of the way, but if you veer off I-10, there’s Marfa (must see!), Fredericksburg, and a few good stops. Once you hit San Antonio, it gets more Southern than Western. I know I’m almost home when I get Popeye’s in Vidalia! PS, Jenny, there’s lots of wacky fun to be had in Tucson. You’d love it here! And, PPS, next time skip Tombstone and hit up Bisbee. Way cooler and the Queen Creek mine tour is totally worth it.
It was so nice of the Grand Canyon people to give water a toilet. I guess sometimes even water has to go. Or I may be completely misinterpreting “WATER TOILET”.
Anyway I want to go to Birdsong Creek in Camden, Tennessee, to see the world’s only freshwater pearl farm. It’s even within driving distance of where I live–and by that I mean it’s a couple of hours away since technically everything on the continent is “within driving distance”. But this would be a cheap trip. And I’ve never been and this would be a good excuse and I want to know if I can eat the freshwater oysters too.
Also I would happily write a post for Blue Lizard Australian Sunscreen because that’s three of my favorite things in one package. And sunscreen is pretty good too.
So please pick me because I entered another contest and just got an email this morning that said, “The results are in and we’d like you to know YOU LOST.”
They could have just not said anything and I would have figured that out.
I want to drive from my house to the Smithsonian in DC with my son, see all of the things, then fly back on a plane because he loves to fly and we will be officially over driving after going all the way across country. He is a great road trip kid and totally willing to sing show tunes all day with me.
Oooh, I would road trip to Louisiana, from Wisconsin, along the Mississippi, because I always wanted to be Huck Finn when I was a kid. Of course a car rather than a raft is totally cheating, but I get terrible seasickness, so, compromise.
I want to do a duck themed road trip. First stop is Long Island’s giant duck (I would like to go at Christmas for the lighting of the duck and to sing duck-related carols). http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2173 Then I would go to Washington DC for a duck boat tour of the monuments and tidal basin. And for the first time, when I text something about “duck this” to my friends, it won’t be autocorrect!
I want to go see the coasts of Oregon and Washington. I want to see Haystack Rock beach… Because: The Goonies!
Putting the “trippin'” in “road trippin'”; I am so onboard!
Yay, 8000th person to reply!
I’ve been wanting to go to the GC for ages and now I know to go see the zombie hands too!
I want to go see the biggest burrito in the world. Or the biggest piece of cheese in the world. Or the biggest bottle of wine of whiskey or can of beer in the world. Really the biggest thing anyone can eat or drink in the world. Also I’m a broke college kid so it’d be cool to take a road trip to see food and eat it at the same time
I would like to drive from Texas to Alaska and hang out with the sled dog pups at Denali National Park.
Foamhenge is closing this August! I totally missed out on visiting Dinosaur Kingdom (owned by the same fellow) at Natural Bridge before it closed. It featured civil war soldiers being eaten by dinosaurs. The rumor on the street is that Dinosaur Kingdom II will be opening….I. Can. Not. Wait. Ultimate road trip.
I want to recreate your trip in its exact entirety. I’m going to need to borrow Victor and Hailey. And Rory. And the rum.
I would like to go to Mystic , Connecticut to see my nephew play summer ball. As everyone knows, summer ballgames = a need for sunscreen !
I had to stop reading and post because I am still laughing at #restingTrumpFace. Ok, reading on…
My husband doesn’t know it, but I’d love to do an Atlas Obscura/Roadside America roadtrip. Pick a direction and see what oddities lies along our route.
This pasty white Irish/Anglo-Saxon is going to Florida in July to celebrate thirty years of jai…er…marriage. I would like to slather myself with the Blue Lizard and swim with the manatees. And maybe drink a few drinks with a fancy umbrella in them.
Cool trip! I like your planning. I want to see The International Car Forest of the Last Church outside of Goldfield, NV.
First. I need to do this road trip with the right friends (I’ve cultivated a couple). Then, there are caves in Kentucky (and it’s Kentucky so there’s bound to be a relatively high level of weirdness), and a cement elephant in Cape May, NJ…and who knows what in Pennsylvania. We have lots of time, but sunscreen and money will help…
What an awesome trip! I want to take my family on a trip to see the northern wilds of our great Commonwealth of Pennsylvania (which is deceiving because wealth is definitely not common here). I would like to start at the Harry Houdini museum in Scranton, then proceed to the Kinzua Dam and Bridge and finish at the Grand Canyon of Pennsylvania (I swear that’s really a thing)! As my husband, kids and I are quite pale we will definitely look into the Blue Lizard sunscreen. After all if it’s good enough for blue lizards (who never seem to get sunburned) it should be good enough for us! Or is it made of blue lizards? Now I’m confused and slightly disgusted! Anyway, I will also try to find some roadside attractions to add to the trip ala the giant pistachio because really what is a road trip without them?!
We live in the mountains–very pretty. However, my boys (ages 11 & 14) have never seen the ocean. Not only do I feel like a horrible mother, they seem to think it’s no big deal. It’s the OCEAN! I’d love to take a road trip to show them how awesome it is.
I really, really want to take the train cross-country this summer. I want to be trapped in a rolling metal tube with a bunch of strangers and make mindless chit-chat and play ridiculous games of made-up card games and stare at endless gorgeous scenery for 2 1/2 days because THERE IS NO INTERNET ON AMTRAK LONG-DISTANCE TRAINS. Fer reals.
Besides, sleeping on a train. It’s gotta be cool.
Perrine Bridge in Idaho because my crazy husband wants to BASE jump from it and Hot Springs – nuff said
I want to take a trip to see weird shit like you (and maybe the grand canyon too!), like the unclaimed baggage center and the worlds biggest beagle.
I would LOVE to drive through Rte 66! I want to see what my grandparents saw!
I would like to see anything that isn’t the desert. I’ve lived in the hi desert of Southern California for almost 30 years now, and I’m done with it.
I want to drive from San Diego to Seattle with my husband.
I would like to go to Seattle, at least once in my lifetime. I hear it’s pretty there.
i really want to go to great smokey mountains national park. i follow them on social media and stare at the beautiful pictures. someday.
I want to go to Prince Edward Island Canada and bicycle across the island with my family. I have been fascinated with it since Lucy Maude Montgomery wrote the Anne of Green Gables series and I want to run across the beach towards my husband as if we are Anne and Gil. I want to visit the Montgomery house and view the majestic scenery. On a side note, I first started using Blue Lizard while I was an exchange student and will never not use it for sunscreen-it is amazing.
I want to take a road trip in the midwest to see all of the parks in CO/MT/ID/AZ/etc. I’ve never done it before, and would love to share the experience with my husband and 10 year old daughter!
I want to road trip somewhere I can swim with bioluminescent plankton. My sons love glow sticks, they are at that perfect age where simple things make them happy. I would love to swim with them in the ocean. I read that it makes your bathing suit smell bad since the plankton basically stick to you and die and that kinda sucks, but hey, I’ll sacrifice a suit and some plankton’s life for the experience.
I really want to go to the Grand Canyon one day. I should have gone when I was six, but my sister told me that there weren’t any guard rails and that she would push me in. I totally believed her and made my mom stay home with me, so my sister got a two-week trip with our awesome grandparents all by herself. I, on the other hand, got roped into taking her piano lessons that she would miss while she was gone. I ended up stuck with them for six years. So. Yeah. Grand Canyon.
I am desperate to visit the Garden of One Thousand Buddhas in Montana. I’ve always been suspicious that the number is inflated, so I must conduct research in order to confirm if there truly are 1,000 statues. Oh, and peace and meditation and stuff.
I would have to go with the grave of the Colorado cannibal Alferd Packer or salvation mountain or the worlds largest jack in the box or the castle made of beer cans… I could go on… America is a weird place.
I don’t understand why anyone wouldn’t to see the Giant Loon, in Sayner, WI?! But I’d love (’cause I’ve already seen the giant loon…) to see, and play on, the white sand beaches of the western panhandle of Florida, and I’d absolutely would need great sunscreen!
I really want to see a two-story outhouse. I don’t want to use it. But I think it needs to be seen by me.
Just got out of a 7 week ordeal in the hospital and finally on the mend. A road trip sounds amazing right now, but no idea where to go. Thinking of throwing a dart at a map and then just actually going there. As long as there is decent food nearby. Hospital food sucks. Maybe I’ll aim towards some mountains, I like mountains.
I want to go to Maine!
I would love to drive around the NE in the Fall!!! PS you should write a few more road trip guides. 🙂
Disneyland with my cousin! We’re both huge Disney fans, and she’s being drafted to the army this summer (to be a paramedic) so it would be awesome for the two of us to have some quality hang out time while she’s still in control of her own schedule 🙂
I want to go to Hawaii and see if the Night Marchers come out. You are supposed to lie naked on the ground when they come by. The moon is so bright, I would probably need Lizards Sunscreen.
I’d go check out all the weird places here is Oregon. We have a surprising number of them.
My best friend Robin and I have taken a lot of stupid random road trips in the almost 20 years we have been friends. We have driven to Seattle from Missoula, MT for coffee (8 hours away) on a Saturday night (with work on Monday morning), gone from Little Rock to New Orleans and back in 2 days, and logged countless miles back and forth across Montana, Idaho, and Washington. Driving across Montana takes ALMOST as long as driving across Texas. That’s kinda just our thing. We get in the car and go. Now that we live on the same side of the country again, we’re looking to do our next grand road trip adventure. We want to road trip down the Oregon Coast and be Goonies! Then head to the redwoods of Northern California. Anywhere we can adventure and find the weirdest things possible.
I’d like to go to Glacier National Park. Before it’s known as, The National Park that used to have Glaciers. Sun screen is required nearly every day since there is sunlight and reflected sunlight so it’s fitting with the theme. (BTW- you should come to Idaho- specifically Southwest Idaho just before a thunderstorm in the summer- it’s a variant of sand-storm that you seem to need to add to your portfolio of sandstorms. Things just kind of disappear. If you are outside and wearing sunscreen, or just sweating, you are then about 4 shades of gray darker since you are covered in fine sand and ash- you know- from volcanoes!)
Hmmm…. 480 Lawson-years plus 1.5 states AND a dollar per person to see the The Thing? Thanks for making that trip in my place – you’ve seen most of the things that I had wondered about, and several that I’ve not even wondered about, when I was 9 and traveling across that area with my family.
Personally, I would like to see the Grand Canyon Hole, but I’d continue on to the Pacific Ocean to try to learn to surf and try to sing Beach Boy songs like I thought about when I was 10.
However, since I’ve got latent-ginger qualities combined with a vampiristic aversion to the Sun, plus a general nerdish fluorescent-light tan, I’d probably need sunscreen or something either Blue-ish or Lizard-ish, or both. I’ll investigate that…
I’d love to see Dimmubirgir in Iceland.
I just want to go somewhere cool before I die. Had kids instead, so it’s unlikely.
I would love to road trip down to Portland, Oregon from BC to spend time with my hipster brothers and sisters.
I really want to take my two daughters (ages 7 and 3) to see the mermaids in Weeki Wachee, Florida. As a former synchronized swimmer, anything involving women performing in water is right up my alley.
This is my kinda road trip! I totally want to follow your itinerary.
I want to see the blue whale in Oklahoma. I would like to spend the whole summer with my boy just visiting roadside America.
I want to do a Oregon haunted road trip.
http://www.onlyinyourstate.com/oregon/haunted-road-trip-or/
I’d visit the moon-bow at Cumberland Gap Falls in Kentucky. It’s only a few hours away from where I live…Don’t know why we haven’t visited yet.
Damn, I wish I had gone to the Antelope Canyon when I was in Arizona. Looks beautiful and awesome. You should have visited Carlsbad Cavern while you were in New Mexico. One of the most amazing places I have ever been to. I hope to visit New Orleans to see the above ground cemeteries, Garden District and French Quarter.
I hope to one day retrace this trip of yours. I will call it a ferocious pilgrimage to happy.
I want to take the kids to see mt Rushmore and the black hills
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I really really really want to go see the elephants in Tennessee!
Oh, glob, I love a good road trip. The more pointless and random, the better. I once drove cross country for a month and a half cause I was between jobs and figured I’d never get another such chance. My itinerary consisted of places I had friends or relatives living. It was awesome. Sadly, my hubs needs an agenda. We agree that a road trip to New Orleans would be amazing, though. You can pretty much spit in any direction and hit weird. Plus we could put to use the accents we developed from watching “Cajun Cops.”
I love to see weird and wacky things on road trips, like a giant man/robot thingie made out of air ducts or a field of corn statues! We are going to CA in September for our first trip away from the kids in over 8 years, and Roadside America tells me I need to go see a giant artichoke. My hubby is not excited but he’s going anyway, and neither of us even like artichokes!
I would love to take my family to see the Luray Caverns. We went when they were very young and it was beautiful but I got carsick on the drive up and we haven’t been back. Since the caverns are underground there isn’t much need for sunblock there, but if we are in the area I’d also like to see the Luray Zoo. It’s a rescue zoo and we are all about rescue animals in my family. It’s also near Appalatchian Adventures where my family would love to kayak while wearing sunblock while I watch waving from shore…also carefully coated in Blue Lizard!
I would love to take a road trip up the pacific coast highway in California! It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, because California is beautiful and the scenery changes so much! I’m from Texas (where the scenery also changes as you drive), but I thought it would be great to see all the fabulous duties there, plus the redwoods and beaches and everything else the state offers.
Being that it is the 36 year anniversary of Mt St Helens today – I would like to take a road trip there. I saw it when I was a kid but don’t remember too much of it. It would be great to take my daughter there.
I want to go to Wall Drug Store. Many years ago, driving across South Dakota, my mom and I entertained each other reading the Wall Drug signs for about a thousand miles. But then my dad woke up and said we couldn’t stop there. WE WUZ CHEATED! It’s a mecca of tourism! Heck, I saw a car with a Wall Drug sticker on it in the parking lot at Southfork Ranch! People who go to Wall Drug know ALL the right spots to go!
I would love to take a family trip to the southwest. I have not been there since I was a baby which is not fair since of course I don’t remember it. I would take my kids to Mt. Rushmore, the Grand Canyon, the Badlands and the Corn Palace. I would make my family take pictures with any and all giant roadside creatures. I have many of those photos already but none from the Southwest! Side note: Wisconsin has lots of giant cheese and mice!
We want to go to see where Buddy Holly’s plane crashed in Iowa. We almost went there a few years ago but its in the middle of a cornfield where you can’t even see it from the road. We were feeling tired so we just took a picture of the sign and said it was good enough but it wasn’t. And my husband says you should go to Austin and have a mad dog marguerita in honor of Roy Clark who died this week but he really meant Guy Clark. Love your blog, can you tell? Email: kgallagh@kasmid.org
I would love to see the Badlands.
I love road trips and I have not actually been to the Grand Canyon. Also, for my bucket list is to see all the national parks. For future reference, for a different weird road trip, you should see the Garden of Eden in Kansas.
When I was a kid, my mom had a subscription to National Geographic. One month, I opened the magazine to find a record – a fully-floppy grooved vinyl of whale songs. I loved to listen to it and wore it out on my Sesame Street record player – every time I felt sad or lonely, I’d listen to the whales. Anyway, I’ve always wanted to go whale watching (not at Seaworld or Marineland but in their natural habitat) but am generally far to brokeass to go on vacation. This summer, my partner and I are celebrating 7 annivesaries and several years of birthdays by . going to eastern Quebec to go whale watching along the Saguenay – Sainte Lawrence! I’m excited. I might meet a whale or several. I may pee my pants because omg whales. I might even fall overboard (because I’m still me). But I won’t get a sunburn if I win money and a bottle of sunscreen!
I want to take a Texas road trip. Mostly Austin and Waco. And Waco only because I’m slightly obsessed with Jo and Chip Gaines and I KNOW they’d want to be my best friends if I could just meet them.
First they tell use which bathrooms to use, and now they tell us we can’t drink for the toilet!
(I wonder it the sign were for dogs. I don’t know because I don’t read dog.)
The hubs and I have always wanted to take a road trip! Yours sounds amazingly awesome! Thanks for sharing!
I’d love to drive route 66 and see all the old towns that used to be! That would be my ultimate road trip!
It has been my life-long dream to grab my camera and a convertible and drive down the west coast of Florida. Between the defunct motor lodges with spectacular neon signs and the most ridiculous tourist traps ever, it would make an epic road trip.
You introduced me to Neil Gaiman’s work, and ever since reading American Gods, I’ve been in love with the idea that all these weird roadside attractions are places of mystical power where people felt compelled to make monuments, albeit strange ones. I want to do a roadside attraction tour but I really want to go to The House on the Rock, which Gaiman wrote about in AG and which just sounds like the best, most surreal place ever.
Thor’s Well, Oregon, USA
Also known as Spouting Horn, in rough conditions the surf rushes into the gaping sink hole and then shoots upwards with great force. It can be viewed by taking the Captain Cook Trail from the Cape Perpetua Scenic Area visitor centre, but for your own safety stay well back, especially at high tide or during winter storms.
And, hopefully, Chris Hemsworth will be there….I mean a girl can hope, right?
cmccall522@gmail.com
Oh my word. I think I just want to follow YOUR trip!!! I’ve never been further west than Texas so I think this trip sounds amazing! Add in some Route 66 and I’m set 😀
Pistachios need to come in this size. Can Monsanto get on that? I’ll road trip to Monsanto HQ to request it formally.
I would actually take a very similar trip! I was supposed to go on a road trip in March with my husband, parents, and best friend through southern Utah. We were going to go to Moab, Monument Valley, Canyonlands and the Grand Canyon. But we had to cancel it because, among other reasons, my parents’ cat has asthma and they couldn’t leave her alone 🙁 But my goodness, I am DYING to see Antelope Canyon!
The thing I’d most like to see isn’t a “road trip” unless someone gets busy building a highway to England; but, it starts with a road trip. What I really need is to one day stand at 84 Charing Cross Road and cry over a plaque. I’ve always felt like my soul was British and that I needed to visit, but it has not yet come about. The number one thing on my bucket list is to cry over this plaque marking this site (that is currently a McDonald’s, which seems ironic that I hope to escape America to go to one of the most American fixtures in England) because once upon a time, it was a bookstore. And the story of Helene Hanff and Frank Doel who corresponded between New York and that bookstore in London ages ago, is a constant reminder to me that dreams DO have expiration dates and you CAN leave them too long. Standing there will mean that I didn’t leave it too long, that I achieved this dream after all these years. After I cry, I’m going to redo my makeup, don sunglasses (despite the probable London dreariness – gotta hide my red and puffy eyes), and then I’ll be taking my best friend to ride the London Eye. Unfortunately, since neither of us can afford to go to England yet, we are scrambling together money so I can take a road trip 1,000 miles away this summer, so I can meet this best of best friends and dearest soul sibling in person for the first time (it’s hard to hug a video chat or a telephone). Together, we are going to save money and plan for our British adventures. And we will NOT leave them too long!
I’m also pale enough I could burn in the shade, so sunscreen is always good! Will be checking out Blue Lizard soon.
*my wordpress contact page IS a good email! And thank you for taking all of your tribe of weirdos on your adventures. 🙂
My fiance and I want to get married in Vegas, but not nice Vegas, sleezy Vegas with heart shaped beds. I don’t know if that still exists but I’ll never know unless we get in the car and drive. First stop Husseys General Store in Maine which sells wedding dresses. They have a sign out front that reads “Guns Wedding Gowns Cold Beer” Why would I buy my dress anywhere else? They also have ALL the other things. Seriously, check out their website. Their selection is amazing. I don’t know if they sell Lizard sunscreen though so I may have to use the online coupon. Wedding to do list: Blue Lizard sunscreen, guns, wedding gown, cold beer, drive to Vegas, find an Elvis to get us hitched, honeymoon to the country’s largest something. American dream, baby.
http://husseysgeneralstore.com/
I would like to explore the fucked up shit of New York 😉
I would like to go to Starved Rock Canyon, specially to Asswood Canyon! It’s a thing! Google it!
I want to see the Ancient Burial Airport you posted about a few years ago in Hawaii.
Your trip looks great! I’d love to road trip to the sequoias – I love trees! Giant old trees!
Heading out on a cross-country road trip in July. We will be driving from Ks to Los Angelas. Look out Cali…here we come!
I want to go see Grand Canyon and Antelope Canyon! I hear all kinds of good things about both of them.
I’ve always wanted to go to Philadelphia. I’m a big history buff and I think it would be awesome to see where our country started. Plus then I can try to sneak in a kiss the liberty bell- which I hear tastes of pennies…and freedom…
What a fabulous trip! I always want to follow the billboards for wacky stuff, but I tend to only travel for ferret shows & have a tight schedule.
I do drive up to Wisconsin Dells every once in awhile to visit a friend and always see billboards for the “House on the Rock”. The sign says “It’s Cabalistic”! I guess, they mean a spiritual experience? It’s described in “American Gods” (another comment mentioned that) and I’m sad that I only live a few hours away and have never been there.
I’d love to see the “House on the Rock”, then head over to Baraboo to check out the circus museum and finish the trip in the Dells with a visit to the Riley’s Believe It or Not museum and a ride on the ducks.
p.s. My mom read “Let’s Pretend…” & talks about you all the time!
I want to go to Myrtle Beach this summer! Now that my daughter is almost three I think she is completely ready to have a blast! While my husband fishes, she and I will make sandcastles and run from waves. Getting vacation fever just thinking about it.
Road trips are the quintessential American experience. The romance of the road, the unknown just around the next bend, and the freedom to explore unhindered, following the songs of Woody Guthrie and Nat King Cole are so ingrained in our national psyche that it is nearly impossible to separate the pioneer restlessness from the national identity.
When you live in a coastal community in southwest Florida it’s not easy to drum up sympathy for going elsewhere for vacation. But just as others dream of tropical nights on sugar sand beaches, we look to mountains or anywhere that requires more than a five foot rise to be called a big ol’ hill.
My husband and I are avid road trippers. We take back roads, side roads, seek out dives, historic markers and locales both famous and infamous. We took a spectacular trip up the Gulf coastal roads from south of Tampa to eventually New Orleans. We’ve turned right on a highway in Virginia without even discussing it when we saw the sign for Appomattox 20 miles in that direction. That was the most haunted place I’ve ever seen and I’ve done a large number of battlefields including Gettysburg and Antietam.
Two years ago we were all set to do the Natchez Trace. We were going to start in Natchez, do the plantation scene, visit Russel Edgington’s manor, aka Longwood, and then drive north along the Trace with a scheduled stop in Corinth for the battlefield there and who knows how many spontaneous ones, until we got to the end at the Loveless in Nashville (Best. Biscuits. Ever.) where we would spend a few days with family.
Unfortunately, that took a detour when my husband had an unexpected quintuple bypass a week before we were supposed to leave. He’s doing great and is wonderfully healthy but we haven’t been able to put the trip together yet, but we definitely will. After all, it’s in our cultural DNA, we have no choice but to load up the car, create the appropriate playlist, and point the beast in the direction that our wanderlust demands.
I’ve been to a surprising number of these places, having gone to grad school in Tucson. 🙂 $500 would more than fund what I’m calling my upcoming Honeymoon Road Trip on a Budget. Thanks!
In the land of the Mouse, I really don’t have to drive far for weird. Cassadaga,Gatorland, and Gibsonton ate all within a short drive. (Town populated by fortune tellers, an alligator themed amusement park with bungee chicken feeding, and the town where circus performers and ex-freakshow acts retire)
BUT I’ve always wanted to drag the family to the coral castle, a castle that was mysteriously built by a single man as an expression of his love. No one can figure out how he did it by himself and no one can figure out how he moved it to its present location some years later. Reverse magnetism was his explanation.
We’ve been doing a lot of road trips in the past few years, but last year was all Central America so it’s time to get the Highlander rev’d up. We need to hit Utah, probably by the way of Antelope Canyon and maybe end up in Montana.
Hope you guys got a “We Walked Where They Fell” t-shirt in Tombstone. I think they like to pretend the movie didn’t really happen. We found the restaurant where a lot of the re-enactors ate and had really awful margaritas, too. Maybe it’s just the town. Or their choice of tequila.
Road trips are THE BEST! I live in Arizona now and my family came out last year and we did an Arizona road trip and did a lot of that stuff and it was grand. This year we’re doing Yellowstone and Grand Teton. Just driving and stopping at anything that looks amazing, interesting, or weird. My life goal is to go EVERYWHERE and do ALL THE THINGS! so, yeah. $500 would be a nice start on that plan.
I want to go back to Rapid City, SD. It would involve crossing the whole state of SD, which has some great tourist stops. Corn Palace in Mitchell, Flintstone’s Bedrock in Custer, SD. And I may or may not have plans to kidnap a tiny burro from Custer State Park… Not to mention see the wooly mammoth excavations, visit Mt. Rushmore and Crazy Horse, and maybe head up to Deadwood to pay my respects to Wild Bill Hickok.
I need to add that pistachio to my bucket list! And I highly recommend you come to Kansas soon and see the World’s Largest Ball of Twine – I can’t get enough of it. OK – so my dream road trip would be to the Apostle Islands our in the Great Lakes. I’ve been intrigued by the Great Lakes for a long time and this would be a blast.
I was at Carhenge years ago, the one in Nebraska that’s made of old cadillacs. BUT my camera messed up so I have no evidence of it and the memory is leaving my head as I get older. SO, I want to go back there because even though it was cool, it was also very weird.
Maybe it’s because I’m in Philadelphia for a convention, but I can’t think of anywhere I’d want to go on a road trip right now.
That ostrich photo is awesome. I would love to take a road trip to New Mexico, just because I was born there, but we moved when I was like three months old. So people ask where I was born, and I say New Mexico, and people think that’s awesome, but obviously I have no memory of ever being there.
For sure the schlong rock. That is amazing.
I grew up in a tiny-ass Oklahoma town caked Manitou, OK that Google Street View will lead you to believe is haunted by starving Zombies. There is also the tiniest Jail you have ever seen there, I’m assuming. It’s messianic. I swear the only house left is the big white house at the end of a lane-lane-ish road. My dream has always to go back and photograph the Scooby Doo house at the end of the lane. Scooby Doo would piss his pantless pants, y’all.
My dream road trip starts in Vancouver, then down through Seattle, Portland, and ends up in California wine country.
I really really really want to see carhenge. I think it’s probably the most awesome henge IN THE WORLD! Even though it’s in Nebraska. My dad has seen it so I have to believe it exists.
There are so many things I would like to see, and I love road trips along the back roads. I would like to take my kids to see Mt. Rushmore and avoid the interstates to get there so I can stop at every roadside diner on the way for pie and coffee breaks all day long.
My husband is approaching a milestone birthday (can’t give actual age, but there’s a 6 and a 0 involved). He’s a lung cancer survivor celebrating 16 years since his surgery to remove 90-ish percent of his right lung. He fears/refuses to believe/hates discussing, the supernatural. However, he is interested in lighthouses and I enjoy a good haunting experience. You can see where the two come together beautifully here: lighthouses + shipwrecks = lost souls!
July 27, 2015 while we were on a mini road trip- which is as much as we manage with him working 2 jobs- he decided we would climb 97 steps to the top of a lighthouse on Lake Michigan. My first thoughts were of the 95°+ temp and 80%+ humidity; but if a guy with basically one lung can do it…
Anyway, as our sunscreen melted down our faces on that climb, his grin was a combination of victory, pride, and pure joy. I would love for him to have the opportunity to do that in multiple locations- there are many in Wisconsin alone- and having a better quality sunscreen would be a great bonus!
We (and by ‘we’ I mean my husband I but he doesn’t know yet) want to spend the night at the Lizzie Borden House, have lunch and our Tarot read in Salem, and tour historic Boston, all around Halloweenish. I’m particularly excited about the Lizzie Borden House, as the only haunted place where I’ve stayed was my house in Irvington, a charming historic neighborhood of Indianapolis, except I didn’t think it wasn’t haunted — until I did, and then the people who talked me into believing in the first place didn’t believe me when I said OMG THERE’S A PRESENCE IN THE COAL CHUTE. This was remotely damaging, looking back. But not to the friendships, and this is what’s important. I’d love to take those people on my Massachusetts Dream Haunting Vacation. I might also buy some suntan lotion seeing as though you brought it up. xo
There’s this garden in England of all the poisonous plants that can kill you. I know with my luck I should avoid it at all costs, but what can I say!? I want to go!
I want to go to Niagara falls, and then tour Canada. I’ve never been before and I want too see everything… Dollar stores, travel round abouts just to see if they drive on the right side of the road, museums, try new food though I’m not too sure about poutine. I’d love to explore and see all there is to see.
I would love to take a long winding trip out west. I’d like to see the Grand Canyon as well as the Alamo. I’d also like to see a bunch of the tourist trap places on the way as well. It would be crazy fun!
I want to go back to Europe and get a second chance to see all the amazing historical stuff there. I mean, I didn’t have nearly enough time at the Natural History Museum or the Louvre and there’s so many things we didn’t get a chance to see at the time. We didn’t even go to Italy, for example, and I know there are so many awesome ruins in Greece that we didn’t have the opportunity to go see. I love all that old stuff, and we really have nothing like it here in North America.
Of course, if I don’t get the chance to go back, I hope somebody gets cracking on some really good digital scanning and VR programs. Can you imagine what they could do with that sort of tech? You’d be able to wander around historical sites without having to worry about damaging them, and be able to spend as much time as you want trying to get a look at that statue up in the corner without worrying about getting in other people’s way. Man, there are times when you practically need a ladder or a drone to see some of the decorations on some buildings, but that’s a ramble for another time.
A friend an I already have a small getaway planned this summer. I will drive down to her house in south Florida, like we usually do in the summer, but then we plan on casually taking the kids to the keys. I feel like a failed native Floridian for never having been to the keys, and a failed parent for not having taken my kids there, so I plan on being less failurey this summer and going for a day or two. I want to get all the way to Key West, because I think it’s mandatory, but my friend says it’s too expensive and touristy there and we should stop somewhere closer. But 8 people can sleep in a minivan parked near the beach, right? I mean that’s not cramped or hot or weird, right? Anyway, if I win, then I can afford a hotel room for a night and then I get to win the argument and we go all the way to Margaritaville. If I don’t win, then my friend wins and we will still take the kids to the keys, but we will stop somewhere much closer, so I think I still sort of win because I get to see the keys, but I fail because I don’t ever get to find that lost shaker of salt.
For my awesome trip I would love to just visit my lifelong friend Lucky in Colorado 🙂 Who is he and why Colorado you ask? Well he is my 14-15yr old (not too sure of his age because he was adopted into our family) cocker spaniel that is one of my bestest friends. Ever since I’ve started college in Tx I only get to see him maybe once or twice a year (and if you count that in dog days, its just too many days if you ask me) and I get really anxious just thinking about not being able to see him. Just last summer I lost a close doggy friend named Mojo (always reminded me of Mojojo from powerpuff girls) and I never really got to properly say bye or to tell him how much joy he has given to me. I wish I could have taken him to more places and enjoyed our time together. Because of Mojo I want to show Lucky many beautiful things, places, and people before he goes on to doggy heaven because he has always been there for me and I want him to experience how wonderful life can be! I know he probably thinks eating a bowl of senior doggy food and getting bacon bits is already amazing (he learned to howl when he is happy) but he deserves an adventure! He is in Co with my parents and it would be so awesome to do that for him 🙂 P.S. If you have your pets nearby go give them a hug because you just never know what will happen. Love them until you can’t love them anymore and enjoy every quirky thing they do to make you laugh. P.P.S Im so incredibly Lucky to have met Lucky in my life P.S.S.S lately all I worry about is the future and jobs etc I want to find myself again and see whats really important in my life and how amazing it can be 🙂
tour *haunted historic Boston, I mean
A friend an I already have a small getaway planned this summer. I will drive down to her house in south Florida, like we usually do in the summer, but then we plan on casually taking the kids to the keys. I feel like a failed native Floridian for never having been to the keys, and a failed parent for not having taken my kids there, so I plan on being less failurey this summer and going for a day or two. I want to get all the way to Key West, because I think it’s mandatory, but my friend says it’s too expensive and touristy there and we should stop somewhere closer. But 8 people can sleep in a minivan parked near the beach, right? I mean that’s not cramped or hot or weird, right? Anyway, if I win, then I can afford a hotel room for a night and then I get to win the argument and we go all the way to Margaritaville. If I don’t win, then my friend wins and we will still take the kids to the keys, but we will stop somewhere much closer, so I think I still sort of win because I get to see the keys, but I fail because I don’t ever get to find that lost shaker of salt.
someone once told me that Wyoming was the most beautiful state they’ve ever seen. Since then I just sort of want to see it. Having only seen East Coast and West Coast, I’d love to visit someplace more in the middle!
what the hell, wordpress? why you make me log in then not post then post twice and not let me delete the second post? GAH!
I would like to go to the biggest ball of twine in Minnesota. 😀
My younger sister and I often “Arf” at each other because we are giving our “Seal of approval” and it progressed to just random Arfing at this point…But there’s a Sea Lion cave in Oregon, and sea lions are kinda like seals… but it would be amazing to see hundreds of sea lions and listen to the song of our people.
I have always wanted to go and see the corn palace in SD.
If I could go anywhere, I think I would go to the rainforest. I know it would be hot, but I think it would be totally cool to see all the plants and animals, except for the snakes. I don’t want to see snakes.
Jennnnyyyyyy!!
I just took my boys on a similar trip for spring break. They are 13 & 15 and are close to not wanting to hang out with me anymore BUT I wanted to be the one to show them mountains for the first time so we drove from Wisconsin to Colorado and it was awesome!! It was a bit more motel 6 and ramen-y than airplane and train-y like your trip tho.
Along the way we stopped at a bar and grill in Iowa dedicated to “The Big Lebowski” (took a picture with the rug), saw the world’s largest gnome, drove 30 min out of our way to see a statue called “the Dream Redeemer” (very weird), got to see a taxidermied, 2 headed calf, and found a thrift store that sold me a Keanu Reeves bobble head and a Hulk Hogan mini figure. There was an AMAZING car wash in Omaha that I highly recommend and Oh so much more!
But my point is, I’d like to be the one take them to see the ocean for the first time too. so that’s where I would like to go 🙂 Any ocean.
I totally saw the THING when I was a kid… 25 years ago.. lol that place looks exactly the same! That looks like an awesome vacation!
I love road trips and I’ve always wanted to travel cross country. There are a million+ places I’d like to see in this country and throughout the world. I want to go whale watching and see an active volcano, even though it scares the crap out of me (the volcano,not the whales). I want to go on a ghost tour of Eastern States Penitentiary. I want to see the Rockies and eat BBQ in Texas. I’ve already seen the world’s largest frying pan in NC (disappointing actually), but I still want to see the world’s largest ball of twine. There are somany awesome things to see in this country… A little extra cash to accomplish it would be fantastic. 🙂
I love traveling, and did a reasonable simile of your trip (the petrified forest was SO disappointing) a few years back. I’d love to go to the Florida Keys and see manatees!
I wanna go to San Francisco in my aging convertible and sit on the Dock of the Bay and sing melodramatic 70’s songs loudly and not necessarily on-key.
Then I want to eat fry bread. But I always want to eat fry bread so that might be another thing.
I would absolutely love to visit Lucy the Elephant–a 135 year old, six story elephant located in Margate, New Jersey. I love all things old and vintagy, and I love the shore…climbing up a spiral staircase through the insides of a giant elephant would make for a magical day! The website also promises a fantastic view from her howdah–and that is NOT a euphemism. Turns out the howdah is the canopied platform on an elephant’s back. Thank you for giving me a small chance to win this. It’s something I’ve secretly always wanted to do, and my husband couldn’t possibly veto this road trip if I explain that it’s a PRIZE! And I’ll send pictures from the howdah!😊🐘
More than anything I want to visit MT, see some old friends and visit this haunted mine they’ve told me about – it’s near Kevin, MT, so they say… What could be better than a haunted mine, right?
My dream is to stay at the ICEHOTEL in Sweden, but since climate change will probably shit all over that dream, I’d settle for a trip to the Dakotas to see the Corn Palace and maybe Mount Rushmore.
There’s a sign I pass here in TN on the i75 that reads “CHEESE. COWS. WOWS” it’s just after the 100ft tall cross, across the road from the porn store! All road trips are kinda dull after that jaunt. Hee hee
love this post! it reminds me of porter sculpture park in south dakota, a spur-of-the-moment roadside attraction i visited where the sculptures started out playful, but got darker and twistier until i was a little convinced that i was never going to be seen or head from again (and my car would be part of the next sculpture). and it makes me think of “the enchanted highway” in north dakota, where i haven’t been, but plan to go soon!
Hi Jenny!
I’m getting married in October, and would really like to travel to Salem, Massachusetts.
By the way, your book saved my life and that is the real prize. Thank you for being you and helping me realize I was worth saving.
I kidnapped a Canadian ten years ago and brought him to Tennessee. I made him live with me for a while then I forced him to buy me an engagement ring. He really hated the part where he wore a suit and I wore a pretty wedding dress and we said words in front of people. I would like to make it up to him by taking him on a horribly boring trip to Victoria, British Columbia. He wants to have high tea at the Empress Hotel, and I figure that’s the least I can do for him now that I’ve made him live in a land of Trump-loving bathroom police. I’m just glad the Stockholm Syndrome has kicked in and he smiles when he looks at me.
I wanna go see the big Moose in Moose Jaw Saskatchewan Canada 🙂
When my 13 year old daughter gets out of the hospital (for depression, anxiety, OCD and Tourettes. Hopefully she’ll be done with the hospital later this week), I’d like to take her to the biggest dammed candy store ever, and let her buy all the chocolate!
In addition to all the awesomeness you visited, I would love to visit Yellowstone National Park. It has a super volcano.
I’m doing a very similar road trip with my husband and 10yr old son in 16 days! We’re driving from Fishers, IN to San Francisco and back. We’re staying at a hotel in Nevada with cartoony life size sculptures of a piano player, lady of the night, and their friends. As you do. I hear I can get a free margarita in the casino at check in – hopefully it doesn’t suck like yours did. 🙂 I’ll check the Blue Lizard sunscreen out! We’ll need it.
Grand Canyon is on my list; and the Yorkshire Dales.
I’d want to go down to Florida to visit my bf and see if we could find neat places down there to drive thru and visit. Sun screen would be nice too (since I burn like a mofo cause I’m pretty pale).
Lizzie Borden’s Bed and Breakfast in Fall River, MA. Or Boldt Castle in NY.
I wanna go Colossal Cave Mountain Park and Kartchner Caverns State Park, slip down 3000 stairs, get dripped on by oogie drippy stuff, and stick my hand in a giant rock lizard. The End.
My family and I live in a small desert town and it is literally hell here in the summer (PLEASE SEND HELP! Or possibly an ice bath) and we want to take a road trip to Northern California to see the Russian River. Email: flowerchild22802@aol.com
I’d like to visit the ancient city of Samarkand, where Siberian shamanism began and which I first saw in a lucid dream where I flew through clouds that opened up and revealed the city below. I later recognized the city when I read about it in the book, Master of Lucid Dreams, by Olga Kharitidi – I’m pretty sure that city has “plans” for me (in a really good way)…
My mom and I want to go on a haunted road trip, where we visit every even remotely haunted place we can, starting in Missouri, where she lives, and branching out as far as we can stand to drive. And since she is an uber-fun road-tripper, we could probably get pretty far. After all, she can hit the high note in Bohemian Rhapsody, and plays the best billboard alphabet games. If my sister is nice, we might let her tag along.
The last time I went to DC I missed the NASA exhibit at the Smithsonian because I was sup distracted by the Muppet exhibit. I wanna go back and explore the rest of the Smithsonian Institute!!!
I totally think that it’d be cool to road trip around all of Ohio’s caves. I mean don’t we all need a little spelunking? I’d take pictures of my feet in the caves; while in the raised leg yoga pose. Also, let me just pull out my BREAST CANCER card and say that since I will be recovering from a double mastectomy and will be on leave from work anyway I am the most worthy to win your contest. Cheers! I look forward to hearing form you.
My honeymoon is a month from today (after school is out, because teachers are apparently supposed to have good attendance, too). We are going to Zion and the Grand Canyon for my first time seeing those particular rocks. Hoping to add antelope canyon to the agenda because that looks gorgeous.
My dream is to go to England to the homes of Anne Boleyn at Hever Castle (and Later Anne of Cleves – another remarkable woman) and the other historic places where this woman beyond her time lived and challenged the way women were seen and lived their lives. By taking what ability she had to not be a complete piece of chattel for men, she has become a woman of legend. Notorious, misunderstood, vilified and so much more wrapped into one mysterious and intriguing life. She was beyond her time in education, scandal and so may other facets that are taken for granted because she was the wife of henry the VIII. Still to this day she so heavily defined by the man she married – not by the woman she was and what she did and why I want to walk where she walked. Sit, admire and walk the grounds where this woman contemplated the path that she was directed to take and then decided to form her own destiny and with it – change the course of history and impact so many even 400+ years later. I want to embrace the surroundings and visualize how it was to live during her time and see the Tower of London where she was held, the Tower Green where she was executed under false pretenses in the name of justice but what was really a mans whim and completely unjust and visit her grave (and maybe see a ghost) in the Chapel of Peter Ad Vincula where she is buried. It would be a life time memory to see all of the torture devices used during this time as well. I imagine and think about all that changed due to this one woman and her quest not to travel the road of the women before her and see how her life altered and shaped so many others is my life long dream. I hope to take this trip and immerse myself in the period, dress, the ways the gentry and nobility lived, how the commons survived in the shadow of the monarchy and be close to Anne while imagining all of the things I will never know for certain, but indulge and let my imagination run wild where it all happened. And if I’m able to also drink a pint where the Inklings met (The Eagle and the Child at Oxford) it would be a thrill to sit where the men who wrote the stories that helped me find escape, love and a life long affair with reading when I was shrouded in the insecurities of my formative years. Maybe I’ll be fortunate to win and find a wardrobe that takes me on my own adventure to the past with my imagination as the passport.
I’d love to spend a week at a cottage in northern lower Michigan. Somewhere near Sleeping Bear Dunes.
the roadside attractions app is awesome! i am glad you had a great vacation!
Looks so fun!! I love the canyon photo!
I want to go to colorado. I’ve never been- and you can do fun things legally and go to a show at Red Rocks like the cool people do. AND I”M GOING IN A WEEK!!!! And $500 would make it extra awesome.
I have always wanted to do a cross country road trip across the U.S. I want to go down Route 66, and see all the touristy pit stops. I want to visit all the famous landmarks like the Grand Canyon, the Redwood National Forest, Mount Rushmore, and the Badlands. And I really want to visit all the places where Laura Ingalls Wilder lived!
Because I am Canadian and cannot win your wonderful contest, I will tell you about a place, in Alaska, where you can staple your money to the walls and drink some serious moonshine, getting properly “Hydracized” before going out and trying not to get eaten by bears. It’s in Hyder, Alaska, which happens to join Canada, without a Major Border. Yup, you can sneak in and out of the USA. But, there’s no place to sneak to since this part of Alaska isn’t connected to the rest of Alaska, so no one really cares to guard it. One day, Canada is going to sneak in and take it… squatter’s right, eh?
I want to take a convertible trip to Mount Rushmore (who doesn’t want to look at huge faces) and then to see Crazy Horse (and huge horses) and on the way stop by little towns and explore their uniqueness and bars (for my husband).
I want to go to Costa Rica where there are still more Monkeys than People and see if I can find my great, great, great, great, great, X a billion, great ancestor…my monkey cousin…Fred.
Road Trip! Redwoods north to the Canadian border taking Highway 101. Oh the salt water taffy and fudge that could be had!
I want to visit a ghost town in Texas!!
I cheated. I wiki’d The THING! Sounds like such a fun vacation. I used to love road trips and finally my kid is old enough I’ve considered going on a short one without worrying about leaving him as a roadside attraction on side of the road.
My hubby and I would love to drive around Texas and stop at the best BBQ places. We could eat our weight in brisket at each stop! Ok – not really, but we’d try.
Sorry Blue Lizard, but I want to go to New Zealand!!! And Bloggess, I feel the same way about the Grand Canyon . . . it’s a big hole!!!
The summer I turned 12, my parents piled us into the car and we spent 8 weeks driving cross country and back (Massachusetts to Cali and back zig-zagging a bit), So I’ve hit a lot of the road-trip hot spots. Wall Drug? Wind Cave? Yep. South of the Border? Yep. Drive-through-redwood? If there were signs for something for 400 miles along the interstate we stopped at it.
I’ve been fortunate to have seen most of this great country (although some of it so long ago it’s but a foggy memory) but the one blank spot on my US map (other than Alaska!) is the deep south. I would love to do a driving tour of the Alabama, Mississippi and Louisiana and finish filling in my map!
Mine’s a three-fer – I’d love to go the East Jesus/Slab City/Salton Sea near Niland, California. Google it – in fact, I can’t believe you didn’t swing by there on your road trip. There is no end to the amount of fucked up shit at those places, ESPECIALLY Slab City – definitely beats your giant pistachio by a country-bumpkin mile!
I super want to go to St. Louis to spend days at the City Museum – a ridiculously awesome adult sized playground. My daughter can come too. She’s almost my size.
http://m.imgur.com/gallery/FYhf4
When I was in college, we would go to this “museum” (I use the term loosely) called “Graceland, too.” it was near the regular Graceland, where Elvis lived, but it was just an old house painted hot pink full of Elvis memorabilia and a bunch of other random sh*t. The backyard had an electric chair in it. You could knock on this guy’s front door anytime, day or night and he would give you a tour and tell you a bunch of stories about Elvis. His name was Paul McLeod. Wait, I think that guy got shot a few years back. Or maybe he shot a guy. I think it was both. Graceland, too might be closed now. You might want to call before you go all that way…
I would love to take a road trip through all the weirdness that is Nebraska. I want to see places like Carhenge, The Ashfall Fossil Beds, plus all the weird museums we have.
I have wanted to hit all the caves in my state during a road trip. And Gettysburg. I think that would be fun and potentially haunted. So potentially even more fun than anticipated.
We’ve been to all those places, but with a sound track from the back seat that went like this: “I’m hungry! I’m thirsty! I gotta pee! he’s touching me! (rinse, repeat ad nauseum)
While there are a lot of amazing places I’d love to visit (Hawaii and DC being at the top of the list), my middle son’s 8th grade trip to Chicago got cancelled. I know he’s disappointed, so I’d love to take my husband and my three monkeys to Chicago this summer. We’d hit up the Field Museum, Shedd Aquarium, Adler Planetarium and the Art Institute. And then, of course, we’d have to built in a couple “adventure” days with no agenda whatsoever.
I would do a tour of all the best ziplines in the world. Fly through the trees and feel my heart soar.
I want to take my husband to the Timberline Lodge on Mt. Hood WA, the Overlook hotel in the Shinning. He loves Kubrick films and I love the possibility of a haunted hotel. We may have more fun trying to scare each other but I can’t think of a better way to spend a long weekend.
When I was a child, they always left me home with a babysitter (or not pleasant cousin of my mother — okay she may not have been pleasant because I didn’t like her and when they made me kiss her on the cheek I bit her instead and she popped me up side the head… when I grew up I adored her— just to be clear about the ability to mature and forgive). They went to Niagara Falls and to California. I’m not so sure about Niagara Falls, but 55 yrs later I still resent not going to California. I have family out there and I’ve never been past Texas so that’s where I’d love to take a road trip with my daughter. Then my siblings can no longer lord over me that I was a horrible brat and got left home all the time cause I’ll enjoy it now more than they did as pre/teens!
DebraDownSth at aol dot com (you may not use, but bots pick up emails for scams off popular sites 🙁 )
SOOOO overdue for a road trip! Kiddo are finally big enough to sit still long enough for it not to be painful so we are dying to get over to eastern WA this summer, there are these crazy weird lava rock tubes things of columnar basalt or some such amazingness. They are just right there on the side of the road waiting to be scrambled about upon!
I would love to visit the GLASS BEACH near Fort Bragg in California. The beach is ALL SEA GLASS! Because who doesn’t love sea glass? But by the time I left all the sea glass would be gone and in my pockets. But I’d need pretty large pockets for that. Better get to sewing some clothes with magical bottomless pockets!
Is love to go to Hawaii or Alaska, although going back to Australia would be pretty awesome too!
Taking a road trip this summer to the ocean with our family (of 5) and our best friends (family of 4). I am thinking that the gift card might help with the alcohol budget (for half of the week, at least). (And only for the parents, of course.) (Kids have to buy their own.)
What a fun trip! Thinking of what I could drive to and back from with $500, I’m betting I could hit up Craters of the Moon and the Idaho Potato Museum. Must-sees while I’m living in Idaho.
I would really love to take my kids camping at the “Authentic Indian Tepee Village” in our state. It’s tacky and historically inaccurate but for some reason I’ve always wanted to go, It seems very 1950’s road trip to me.
I REALLY want to go see Mt. St. Helens. I’ve always been fascinated by volcanoes, and other natural disaster type things.
What a FUN first sponsored post! Thanks Jenny, for making us laugh everyday 🙂
Speaking of big holes in the ground, I super want to go to Mammoth Caves in Kentucky. I’ve wanted to go since I was thirteen and visited Carlsbad Caverns. Big ground holes are awesome.
There are way to many places on my list to pick just one! Crazy as it sounds though we have been tossing around the idea of a Route 66 honeymoon. We did Vegas and the Grand Canyon last year and loved the drive over to the canyon so much we have been talking about that road trip ever since. Old ghost towns, hotel rooms shaped like tepees, run down gas stations, the top down, wind in your hair and go for days!!! Sounds wonderful 😀
Actually my road trip would be to have my daughter (in AZ) road trip to come see me here in Dallas. Because she lives in Globe, AZ and there is less than nothing worth seeing there (except my amazing daughter is there, so I would go to Globe to see her and as long as I am there I’d go to the Pickle Barrel where I don’t think I’ve ever seen actual pickles but they have Giant Metal Chickens, so that’s something, right??)
But, Operation Get My Daughter to Dallas would be awesome and then both of us could go to Ft. Worth to see the Water Gardens which I’ve wanted to do since I moved here but haven’t gotten to yet.
So… double road-trip YAY?!!
LOL! The big nut & rock hard Weiner road trip sounds like a winner!! I think I want to follow your path! Or simply road trip to your house to meet Beyoncé! KKMF!
I have things to prove that require a road trip! I must convince my husband that there truly ARE big mountains on the eastern coast of the US! I know there are! He refuses to believe me, but I keep telling him that someday we’re going to go to New England at the time of year when the foliage is changing, get absolutely breathtaking pictures, and then go to Vermont where actual Winter Olympics were held! You can’t have Winter Olympics without big mountains, right? When we get there I want to take him on the this really long slide that starts at the top of the mountain and finishes at the bottom – where you’re basically sitting on a board with some wheels nailed to it, held together with hope and a boasting a (mostly decorative) hand-brake! (AWESOME!!!) Note that I HAVE gotten sunburned in the Wintertime before, and it was NOT pleasant, so we’d gladly rub lizard all over ourselves!
I want to cross seeing the ocean and a mountain off of my bucket list. I think Washington state would make a great road trip destination, and if the weather was nice enough, I’d be able to drive the convertible with the top down. Which of course would require sunscreen.
I would love to go to Moose Lake, Minnesota and hunt for Lake Superior agates, the bestest rocks in the world : ) I’d take my camper named Beyonse ( pronounced just like it’s spelled – because, hey – I’m from Wisconsin) and stay for a week.
I want to take ten thousand francs to the grave of Claude Rains. Yes, I am that pathetic.
I would like to go to Marfa.
Scratch that. I’d like to go anywhere away from the tourist town in which I live. Preferably not a tourist town. And someplace with good wine, or beer, or whiskey.
We want to go see Old Car City! North of Atlanta, GA. Here’s a song for it: http://www.roadsideamerica.com/video/52328
I want take a cross country trip of places my favorite characters, from the books of my childhood, have lived. Laura Ingalls Wilder, Anne of Green Gables, Hiawatha, Hester Prynne, Scout, Ponyboy, Mother Abagail/Randall Flagg, Lestat, Garp………
I want to go on this exact road trip. But I guess in reverse since I’m in California. I’m dying to see The Thing.
CORNHENGE! I think it’s in Ohio, guess I could have Googled it before I posted but hey, c’mon…CORNHENGE!
That was a great trip!! with no suburn to boot!
I would love to go see Bishop Castle in southern Colorado and possibly stop by the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo to feed the giraffes!!
Forgot to include my email on my post about visiting places my favorite childhood literary characters lived😂
I want to take my husband on a road trip through central and eastern Texas. I want to catch a show in all of the great dance halls. Lukenbach, Gruene Hall, Floore’s Country Store, and the Broken Spoke to name a few. What my husband doesn’t know Blue Lizzard, is that when I use the term road trip that’s code for you’re moving to Texas to return your wife to her own natural habitat.
I’ in disbelief, as usual.
On a road trip with my daughter last summer I passed an exit off I-44 in Missouri where they have the world’s largest rocking chair AND the Vacuum Cleaner Museum. Alas, we didn’t have time to stop. Super bummed … next time!
I want to go on a road trip to see drive in theatres. I’ve been to most, but not all, of the ones in my state, and I want to see as many as I can!
Kansas (where I live) is full of offbeat roadside attractions, of which I’d like to see more. Have already been to the World’s Largest Ball of Twine (and brought Rory) and the geographical center of the 48 states, but still need to visit the World’s Largest Hand-Dug Well, the Garden of Eden (collection of concrete sculptures), and the underground cowtown-era city in Ellsworth. And we definitely need sunscreen in Kansas!
Three of my cats have been to Arkansas, but the fourth one has not. This makes me feel sorry for Mr. Niko. Also I love Arkansas and have not been able to visit for years, my road trip with one cat, two children, and a husband would be to first stop at the Laura Ingalls Farm in Missouri, then the haunted hotel in Eureka Springs, next to camp in Beaver Lake Arkansas, where there are definitely White Crappie in the lake and deer in the woods. Next on to Oklahoma, home of a very strange zoo/splash park as well as the giant Indian in Big Cabin. This would be a very fucked up road trip. Lots of fun.
My husband and I would love to take a road trip and drive down Route 66 – stopping for all the old landmarks and funky sights. And also eating at the mom and pops restaurants and staying in the hotels on the route along the way.
I want to take my daughter to the Stanley hotel, the one Stephen King’s The Shining is based on. Healthy bonding, n’est-ce pas?
When I was a kid, a big sight-seeing thing was the Lord’s Prayer Rock. It is a large rock, sticking out into the road. As the story claimed, in the “olden” days, one particularly pious stage coach driver chose to paint the Lord’s Prayer on the face of this giant rock, hoping that the drivers would remember not to cuss when they went by it. There are even postcards of this rock.
This has to be one of the lamest monuments/historic sites ever. Some dude painted a prayer on a rock. And the town has maintained this stupid rock for hundreds of years. You have to swerve as you drive past it – the road is narrowly between the rock and the side of the mountain.
Then again, we used to make up a lunch, hop in the car, and drive to a rest area no more than 15 miles away, usually near woods or water. We’d sit on cement picnic tables, and eat our packed lunches. Which now seems like the most bizarre thing to do. Why? I have no idea why we did this.
Anyway, I like to look at things. I’d love to go to every little museum-y place within half a day’s drive.
Oh, and once I paid fifty cents to see the World’s Largest Cow.
(I brought a farmer with me to verify.)
(Actually, he and his wife went to the fair with my husband and me. I didn’t seek out a farmer to bring. I had no idea the World’s Largest Cow would be there.)
(I’m not saying I wouldn’t have tried to recruit a farmer, if I’d known. Fortunately it was lucky happenstance.)
Too bad the “longest comment” and “most incoherent” aren’t the way to win the contest!!!
Car-Henge. It’s like Stonehenge but made out of cars because why not?!
That sounds like the best vacation. My BF has been dropping hints like mad about going on a road trip on England’s longest road, and camping out along the way. He’s a huge Roman history and English history buff. I want to go to see the castle in Scotland that belonged* to my ancestors, maybe it’s at the end!
*according to my grandma
My dream road trip is Marfa, Texas. I swear, its like an artsy-fartsy-UFO-Sasquatch-Chupacabra abduction waiting to happen. Also, I’m pretty sure Marfa-ites would be down for catching a few lizards and painting them blue. Sadly, that trip will cost far more than $500 due to it taking 480 years to drive across Texas and all. sigh
So instead I’ll head down to Glenn Rose (also here in Texas) mostly for Fossil Rim Wildlife Park, and also stopping to see the oh-so-sciencey dinosaur footprints (Go Dinosaurs!) the way-less-sciency Creation Museum (Don’t worry, I’ll duct tape Mr.Spouse’s mouth shut while there, because REASONS) and the Nuclear Power Plant, where I will take glowy pictures of Rory, The Qwirks (my own mascots) and a Blue Lizard (If I can find a real one, great, otherwise I’ll catch a gecko and paint it).
Then on the way back we’ll spend the night in a haunted motel, and catch the Dallas World Aquarium, because SLOTHS, ya’ll. THEY HAVE SLOTHS. That’s almost as good as a UFO-Sasquach-Chupacabra abduction. (almost).
Actually? Mr.Spouse is on his own. I’m catching an Uber ride to see the sloths, getting a hotel room, and painting things blue while getting drunk on mini-bar booze. I’d say I’m a cheap drunk, but those mini-bars aint cheap, ya’ll!
I can’t believe you passed on the schlong!
Fantasy road trip: Craters of the Moon (National Monument & Preserve, Idaho). Because IT’S THE MOON. And I’ve never been to Idaho.
I have (kinda) been to the Isla de las Muñecas, a couple of times, though. It was gloriously creepy. It is privately owned, but it’s in a part of Mexico City called Xochimilco where you can rent a beautifully decorated flat-bottom boat and get poled around canals like those of Tenochtitlan (the Aztec capital). You can hire mariachi bands (in their own boats) or marimba bands to follow you around and serenade you. Lots of folks have family parties on the boats over the weekend and have bands follow them around for a couple of hours for dancing. And little old ladies in canoes will paddle up to the side of your boat and fix you delicious snacks. Anyway, you can ask to be taken by the island as a part of the tour, and you can get a pretty good view of quite a bit of it. The whole thing is an awesome way to spend a Saturday in Mexico City.
We are planning a road trip to see family sometime this summer that will see us stopping at weird things we find along the way (giant Winnie the Pooh, giant goose, giant read chair..there might be a theme here). We have vowed to stop first at the Clock Museum in our town that we have never visited despite living here 14 years. Sounds lame but apparently it’s pretty cool. And then we can stop being shamed by the locals (also..lived here for 14 years and still not considered local…).
I want to take my husband to the Grand Canyon because he is afraid of heights and he’s pretty sure it will freak him out. I keep trying to tell him that it’s not that kind of heights.
Sounds like you had a fun trip!
I want to go to Boston. It’s on my bucket list of places to go. I have a friend who grew up in Boston. She said it looks JUST like Ann Arbor, but NOT Ann Arbor. ??? I guess that’s like saying my dog looks JUST like a famous movie star, but NOT a movie star. Because he’s a dog. Duh! Anyway, I think it would be fun to see the East coast, maybe look for that bar from Cheers. That would be a fun road trip. Plus, there’s history and stuff to see.
*BONUS I am the palest pale person who ever lived. People make vampire jokes. I’ve never had a suntan in my entire life. I just burn and blister, so sunscreen is my friend. I’ll have to try Blue Lizard. I’m always looking for a stronger sunscreen!
julibrownhoffman@hotmail.com
Last summer we did a three week road trip with our Airstream from the SF Bay Area to Port Angeles, Washington and home down the coast. It was epic and amazing and unquestionably the best trip I’ve ever been on. I also have a 7 year old son who has already been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder (fucking genetics), sensory issues relating to loud sounds and a learning issue where it’s hard to get his thoughts from brain to page, so school makes him feel hopeless. But those three weeks were amazing for him! He went on waterslides that come out of a 747, sat in the cockpit of the Spruce Goose, saw whales, climbed the stumps of ancient redwoods, discovered the joys of really great beach town junk stores, collected leaves, shells, rocks and agates, swam in creeks, went bug hunting, and stopped saying that he’s stupid or dumb when things didn’t go as planned. It made me realize that the road trip I really want to do is taking a year off and going all around the country in an RV, seeing as many weird and wonderful sights as we can in that time.
As cliche as it is, I’ve always wanted to see the biggest ball of twine. Anytime we’re traveling by car I’ll map out any “worlds biggest” on the way.
I’d love to go see the viking settlement sites in Newfoundland, especially now they’ve found another one. And then if I’m dreaming big, take a boat up to Labrador, over to Greenland, and then see Iceland, Shetland, Norway for the wood churches, and all the rest of the viking stops. Could take a few months. But Newfoundland to start!
I would love the $500 to contribute to my family’s awesome road trip scheduled this summer! (Also, I have had repeated occurrences of melanoma, so I am basically slathered in sunscreen 24/7 from April thru October.)
Here are the stops on our planned road trip: Orient Mine -to watch hundreds of thousands of bats fly out for dinner at dusk. Colorado Gator Reptile Park (because alligators in Colorado); Great Sand Dunes National Park (sand boarding and sledding, with fantastic views) ; Best Western Movie Manor (drive in movies you watch from your hotel room); River rafting in Durango; Choco Canyon in New Mexico; Roswell, New Mexico to hang out with aliens; Carlsbad, New Mexico (more bats, maybe some ghosts) and then back home (with an overnight stop along the way to visit a cemetery in Pueblo, where my great, great grandfather was buried in 1901).
I want to take a big, random road trip up the east coast. II grew up in east Texas and now that I live in Florida, it would be fun to see some easy coast weirdness! Plus; it doesn’t take 480 years to leave Florida!
There are all kinds of weird roadside attractions in Ohio I’ve been dying to see! the world’s largest corn field? Yes please!
This sounds like the best vacation ever! I want to go to the Museum of Death in NOLA. I’ve already been told that I’m not allowed to bring a Ouiji board. Because that’s how people get murdered.
I’m so bummed that you passed right by me (in AZ) and didn’t wave “hello” … or maybe you did and I wasn’t paying attention. It’s been known to happen. You may have missed the red rocks of Sedona, AZ (or you waved at THEM as you drove by), which are at least as beautiful as the Grand Canyon, though much less grandiose. THAT is a place worth visiting, if you can get past (or get along with) all of the new agers and that vortex thing they’ve got going on. (no offense intended if that includes any of you)
If you saw the movie “Starman” (Jeff Bridges, Karen Allen) you might recall Meteor Crater, but the view of it in the movie was much closer, so forget that comparison. I’ve seen almost everything else you visited in AZ, and at this time of year it should have been an ideal road trip. I’d recommend avoiding it during July & August though. Blue Lizard would be mandatory, along with multiple gallons of water, every day. And if the weird factor isn’t enough for you, get over to Bisbee, AZ too. A fun town, kind of artsy, with an interesting mine to visit if you’re not claustrophobic.
I just want to go see the really cool and odd new exhibits at the Smithsonian American Art and Craft museum. They know how to do the cool weird stuff!
My dream trip would be to China, to Mogshan Lodge, which is a village of Swiss-style chalets outside of Shanghai. A gangster named Pockmark Huang used to vacation there. That might be a bit much for a road trip though. My other two goals are much more attainable: to stay at a hotel with a tacky champagne glass hot tub and to attend the National Hobo Convention in Britt, Iowa. You can’t do both at once, though, because Britt is sorely lacking in the novelty hot tub department.
I’m embarking on my second solo cross country road trip in June for a month to the northwest from PA (I did the southwest solo last June and was completely terrified, but it turned out to be spectacular). I’ll only have 5 more states to visit after this trip and then I will have been to all 50 states. Anyway, I have a lot of weird stops planned from RoadsideAmerica. com (my go-to site when planning road trips) as well as a bunch of national parks: Theodore Roosevelt, Glacier, Olympic, Crater Lake, Craters of the Moon, Yellowstone, Grand Teton, and the Rocky Mountains. I think the thing I’m actually most looking forward to is taking the aerial tram in Jackson Hole, WY up to Corbet’s Cabin on the top of Rendezvous Peak to eat a waffle slathered in Nutella at 10,450 feet elevation.
My husband and I are celebrating our Most Magical Year (we just passed our 13th dating anniversary and our 7th wedding anniversary) and I would love to fly to San Diego and drive all the way up the Pacific Coast Highway (101) to Puget Sound with him. I have no idea what sights we’d see– I would want to play it by ear and stop whenever we saw something interesting– but probably some ghost towns, definitely Ripley’s Believe It Or Not and the Sea Lion Caves, and obviously lots of beaches.
I’d like to take my girls to the Grand Canyon but only by way of Needles and I hope stay in a motel like I did on a road trip in about 1976 with my family.
The best comment. 🙂
I have wanted to go on a Road Trip To Forget for years and only recently convinced a friend and her husband to join me…sort of. There’s a town in Saskatchewan called Forget and ever since I learned of it, I’ve wanted to take a Road Trip To Forget. My friend said if we can combine a drive to see the Northern Lights, we can convince her husband to drive with us from Chicago to Alberta and back around via Forget, Saskatchewan.
Because EVERYONE should go on Road Trips To Forget. Why else would they name the town Forget?
Oh me! Oh me! We are going to try to go to Yellowstone this year. We were planning to go my 4th year of vet school until my husband got laid off (that was a bummer, but we are both employed now so it is irrelevant to the story except that it means I still haven’t been to Yellowstone). Now it’s 6 years later and I have a 10 month old daughter and it’s time to start hitting those National Parks, baby! I solemnly pledge NOT to put baby bison in my car because I am not a moron. (bonus Serenity reference: for the win)
I’d give anything to take our kids to see Yellowstone and those tourist-y towns in Wyoming! And would have to do at least one haunted tour somewhere. We have a huge blended family consisting of 6 kids, one husband kid, and me. The very patient mom. We’ve never been able to take them on a real vacation that wasn’t just camping 5 mins up the road….I’m slightly jealous of your amazing road trip experience!
Supposedly some guy in Iowa has the largest bag found Cheeto on display. That would have been cool.
I have lived in California all my life (I know – it has been rough). Though I love living here, we really don’t have all four seasons. I would love to spend some time in New England when the trees are changing colors.
Ok best post about not drinking out of toilets ever! I’m a great candidate for free sunscreen sponsored trip since I have lupus and can’t go in the sun. So… dream vacation going to the Bahamas to go Tarpon fishing with my husband since our marriage is on the rocks and he would LOVE that and resents me forever for the time I went Bonefishing on Andros Island without him since we were broken up. Yes you can’t drive there but $500 would pay for an island hopper and enough sunscreen to keep me out of the Dr’s office.
I would totally go to the Dog Bark Park Inn in Idaho. Because come on, what could be better than a bed and breakfast located inside the World’s Biggest Beagle? And that’s not even taking into account the on-site gallery of Handmade Chainsaw Art. I mean, this is so awesome that at first I didn’t think it was real. But it is, I promise. Look, I have proof. http://www.dogbarkparkinn.com
I really want to mush a dog sled. And you need sunscreen in the snow too, reflective surfaces are super sunburn contributors.
I’ve lived in Ohio all of my life. I’ve never seen an ocean or been to a real beach (Lake Erie doesn’t really count. Much). I don’t care which coast; I just want to be able to take one of those “here are my toes and an umbrella drink” photos
On June 8th, my Very British Mother-in-Law is flying to the United States & staying in my home for 3 weeks to visit her son and grandson, of which I am neither. She and I do not get along, so I would like to go Anywhere But Here. Please. I’m begging you. Anywhere. But. Here.
I forgot to mention that locals have apparently dubbed the beagle Sweet Willy. The seam of humor that can be mined from this is endless…
My dad and I want to do the Beat the Blerch 10K in Seattle this September… In fact, I’m hoping to give him the entry for Father’s Day!
I would dearly love to go to Dinosaur Provincial Park in Alberta and go on one of their paleontology digs that they let people participate in! I always wanted to be a paleontologist when I was growing up and loved dinosaurs but then anxiety got the better of me and I couldn’t go to school so that dream died.
But at least this way I’d be able to have a taste of it!
My dream is to go to Tuscany. Would need lots of Blue Lizard.
Well I’d like to go to the Scottish Highlands to see if I can spot the Lochness Monster or also maybe to check out the Bermuda Triangle…. Yes those two places for sure 🙂
You know the movie A Christmas Story with the leg lamp and the duck with a head and the kid in a bunny suit and stuff? Apparently the house they shot that in is a museum that you can actually go in in Ohio and they sell leg lamp nightlights and everything! Not seeing that is my biggest regret from living in Ohio. I guess you don’t really need sunscreen for that, but I live in Jackson, WY and you basically need sunscreen for everything there because we’re SO close to the sun. Like, it’s RIGHT there.
I would love to see Glacier National Park in Montana before the glaciers are gone. Plus they have moose. And porcupines. I want to snuggle a porcupine.
New York! I live only a few states away and have never been there before. How lame is that?
Machu Picchu, although the giant flaccid penis is making me reconsider.
I really need a road trip up the California coast – I miss the ocean so much and I would love to stay in Big Sur for a couple of days. Also a trip across the Golden Gate Bridge and then up through the Redwoods.
I live in the town in Florida that’s responsible for not one but TWO giant concrete dinosaurs (one is an auto mechanic shop) AND the state park that is only know for it’s mermaids. I can’t make this up. I have to try REALLY hard to find weird shit when traveling but I love when I drive down a random road and bam! Somehow I’ve found the legit. cabbage patch hospital!
I work in a hospital that seriously hardcore celebrates groundhog’s day and our external offices’ medical director (an honest to god doctor) dresses up as a “groundhog”. Or at least what I believe is a horrible 70’s interpretation of a groundhog. My life is basically a magnet for weird shit.
http://s32.postimg.org/tykencfwl/image.jpg
I promise that is a photo of a small man in a creepy groundhog costume and not porn. Though neither are family safe.
It’s on the other side of the country for me, so a hell of a road trip, but the Winchester Mystery House is on my to do list. Incredibly creepy, in all the right ways.
My road trip would probably have to be to North Carolina where my mother keeps telling me about a sponsored ride up into the mountains. Since I won’t spend any of my own money in North Carolina because reasons, it seems only fair that someone else should pick up part of the tab. If it helps, you can think of me being forced to be within a few miles of family, which is the ultimate “don’t throw me in the briar patch” ploy, as far as I can tell.
My boyfriend and I want to do a mid-west road trip but I don’t know where we would stop. My research just led me to a mustard museum in Wisconsin! Now I want to go because that sounds pointless as hell but I bet it would be neat.
I want to take my son to the Everglades and stop for a key lime milkshake from Robert Is Here fruit stand on the way in!
Our family took a road trip, from MN to CA, when I was 8 or 9. I have to question the sanity of 2 adults that thought it was a good idea to pile 7 kids into a van, for 14days, . It was a terrifying, terrible and wonderful adventure. My little sis and I will try to surpass it this summer. We’re taking her kids on a road trip to Yellowstone. Of course, we are bringing dad too, for a little pay back. 😉
I’M SORRY I AM POSTING THIS AGAIN because I accidentally hit the submit button without putting in my email address first. Ugh.
My boyfriend and I want to do a mid-west road trip but I don’t know where we would stop. My research just led me to a mustard museum in Wisconsin! Now I want to go because that sounds pointless as hell but I bet it would be neat.
Omg this sounds amazing and now I want to do the same thing.
Or now that I know about all fake stonehenges I should road trip to see all of them – foamhenge, cornhenge, etc.
Also everything with ghosts and bats.
I just got back from a solo trip to Death Valley (no dying occurred), and last summer I solo road tripped to Vancouver canada and back. So what I most want to do is more solo tripping. It was so nice and I got to stop and see friends on the way but I could stop and do what I wanted so I got to see a lot of waterfalls and the tillamook cheese factory, and got to pet a tiger. (Although if I had been with anyone and they had not wanted to stop where you could pet a tiger I would have disowned them and made them get their own car I think.) my next planned solo trip is CA to Utah so I can see Arches, but I haven’t figured out all the awesome stops to make on the way there and back.
Internationally, I want to go back to New Zealand. And to Belize, to see the giant blue hole in the ocean. And to go tubing in caves. And I want to see all the Joan of arc stuff because I’m an actor and I’m playing a character that is a parallel to her (minus the being burned at the stake bit) so I’m curious to see all her things. And also I need to find out if that crazy aristocrat who killed people to bathe in their blood has anything left hanging around so I can check that out.
Pennsic! I want to go hang out with 10,000 happy people in the Pennsylvania summer sunshine dressed in their best medieval outfits and doing medieval things!
The best part of this blog was scrolling down and unexpectedly seeing RORY!!!!!
I’m roadtripping to Florida from Colorado. with my 2 teenagers. and some friends. My friends have 5 teenagers. I’m not saying that the $500 would be used for booze while on a road trip with 7 teenagers but that much booze MIGHT convince me i’m not fucking crazy for road tripping with 7 teenagers. Also, we are stopping at Moody AFB in Valdosta, GA because i was born on Moody AFB and i have Bipolar disorder. Not for sure that the MI is BECAUSE i was born on MOODY AFB but i am not ruling it out. I am getting a selfie though with the Moody AFB sign. 🙂
At first I didn’t think there were any tacky destinations I needed to visit, then I started reading the comments 🙂 Now I want to see all of them!
This sounds like the BEST VACATION EVAR. Seriously, you hit at least 4 things that have been on my to-do list. ^.^ I’m so jealous right now.
My husband hates Arizona (he had a bad experience in Phoenix), but I’m hoping to use this post as a motivation to convince him to do a similar road trip with me. Big holes FTW! (Wait…)
I have decided that I want to hike the Appalachian trail. Considering I do very little hiking and am an anxiety ridden person, this seems like a tall order, but it’s a bucket list thing. I want to have done one meaningful thing in my life, that also challenges my limits. I figure that since I can’t possibly carry all my supplies, I’ll need a llama to carry them for me, which is cool because hey, llama, and also because llamas have soft feet which won’t damage the environment. Also, they can be spitty and protective so i should be safe. Plus, they are vegetarians so their poop won’t damage water ways and stuff. It’s an all around win win as far as the llama is concerned. Hiking a trail is going to leave me wide open for sunscreen opportunities!!
I would say the Seven Sacred Pools in Hawaii. In the movie I.Q., Meg Ryan describes them as “a thousand kisses on your skin, or an enormous tongue licking your entire body.”. Terrific movie, if you haven’t seen it.
I already plan on going to Maryland this summer, but would love to take an extra day and go into Baltimore and see the American Visionary art Museum. http://www.avam.org
I’d like to road trip to Seattle, even though I did a road trip to the Grand Canyon shortly after you and I had the flu when I got there so after 25 years of waiting to go, I was like, “Big fucking hole, can we go home now? I have to poop again for the 700th time.” Seattle seems close enough, though, and I’ve never been, and if I got the flu I would only be 800 miles from home instead of thousands of miles.
There’s a town called Dildo in Newfoundland. So I’d go there, even though there’s no giant flaccid schlong but maybe there’s a sign that says “Welcome to Dildo”. Then I could tell people that I’ve been to Dildo and it was unexpectedly satisfying.
We’re doing a summer trip with my husband’s 4 kiddos to Arkansas this summer and I really want to do the cavern tours. Although that may not require sunscreen. But my stepkids aren’t getting sunburned on my watch so we need gallons of the stuff.
My teenage son has been asking since he was 7 to visit “The Land of the Big Trees”. We love road trips and use the Roadtrippers app to find “photo ops” and weird Americana whenever we travel. The journey there is as much fun as the destination (especially when you aren’t sunburned)!
I doubt that anyone has said this in the history of ever, but I want to go to Springfield, Missouri. Weird, right? My mom moved there about four years ago and I haven’t been able to afford to visit yet. She’s pretty much the best mom that ever existed, which is why I miss her so much. Plus she won’t use technology so I can’t video chat with her. So she’s the best luddite mom ever. She’s also the one who worked (still does) hard to give me a solid sense of self worth. It hasn’t really stuck but it’s not for a lack of effort on her part. The only bad thing about her is that she lives in Springfield, Missouri.
I’d like to road trip on highway 1 starting in Northern California to San Diego!
I never win anything and it’s not a road trip, it’s a water trip. Does Blue Lizard stay on in the water? I am saving to go swim with Humpback Whales at the Silver Bank, who knows maybe I’ll only see a ghost of a whale? It’s a 5 day boat trip where you are in the sun all the time. I’m also getting all the things to prevent sea sickness because I get sea sick easy. That will NOT stop me, I must snorkel with whales and look into their eyes! Thanks for the wonderful adventure that I didn’t have to ride in a car to enjoy Jenny!
Since you bring up glory holes, there is a napkin drawing by Tennessee Williams (it’s been blown up to maybe poster size?) on the wall of Gallier House in the French Quarter, and it’s a bit of street life with cross dressers, hookers, and glory holes. I had to ask my husband what a glory hole was. ^.o.^. At least I could recognize everything else in the sketch.
I want to go to Mendocino, Maine. I watch Murder, She Wrote like I’m training for a category about it on Jeopardy. I think I like it b/c I used to watch it with my grandma, and Angela Lansbury knows everyone! Mendocino is where they filmed outside shots of Cabot Cove. I think I’ll mostly go jogging in a sweatsuit, ride a bicycle around, and look for dead bodies. My husband will come along and tolerate me waking him each morning at our bead and breakfast by humming the show’s theme music. I’m watching it while I type this. Rue Mcclanahan is acting suspicious, but we know she didn’t kill the ex-convict. We know.
There are a million places on my list. I’m going to say Pacific Coast Highway for the scenery. (And I’ve been to Foamhenge!)
I would like to go to San Rafael California and see the Musuem of International Propaganda as well as Salvation Mountain in Nilan, California.
I desparately want to go visit my daughter who’s a college student at University of Montana! i thought she would be coming home for the summer, but she was selected to volunteer at a camp in Arizona for teenagers and young adults with special needs (YoungLife Capernaum- check them out.. they’re AWESOME!). Yes, you have to apply and be chosen (which really is fantastic news that so many young people want to do this work).I can’t complain about the great work she’s doing, but I really miss my favorite girl! I don’t know about hat adventures she would take me on, but she loves fishing, hiking, camping, and all the outdoorsy stuff that took her from California to Montana. We’d be sure to lather up!
I’m going to Seattle this summer with my girlfriend and we are broke! It will be great though!
I love nothing more than weird roadtrips, and this one sounds amazing.
From what I understand there is a really long bridge in the Florida Keys that doesn’t go anywhere. Just out into the ocean. Maybe it used to go somewhere, but now it doesn’t? I want to see that. I bet the water is warm too. I bet if I did a little research I could find other cool things on my way to the bridge to nowhere. And I would definitely need Blue Lizard Sunscreen down there. We haven’t seen the sun in months here in Vermont.
I want to visit Katie’s Crotch Road in Maine. Only seemed appropriate since we went to Mianus CT last year
Because I live in western Oregon, I want to go somewhere where I would actually NEED to use sunscreen! I’m thinking anywhere in the Southwest because it would be hot, dry, has a lot of weird stuff, is full of beautiful scenery, and I would be able to slather myself in sunscreen!
That sounds like an amazing trip! I love that old, campy tourist stuff like the big nut.
Where would I go on a road trip? Anywhere. A break from life to any location. Time to enjoy the journey. I have two small kids. Two teenagers. And a husband. I would go alone!!!
I’ve seen The Big Hole (the Grand Canyon), having lived in Flagstaff. It’s pretty awesome, in the true, non-slangy way. I’ve seen The Big Heads (kinda anti-climatic), but glad I checked it off my list. I’ve seen the Corn Palace, & Wall Drug (meh, total kitschy tourist trap, but list.
Come to think of it, I’ve seen a lot more of this country than many people have, so pick someone who hasn’t had the chance to check anything cool off of their road-trip list yet!
As an adult, I need to see the corn palace. What better way to celebrate kitschy Americana than with a huge fucking building covered in corn.
So, I heard there’s an old couple in Nebraska who, for $25, will try their very hardest to “talk your ear off,” like, literally. I have two ears; certainly I can spare one because who wouldn’t want to lose an ear to passive-aggressive-ear-violence-storytellers from Nebraska.
I would love to do a photography road trip. My camera, maybe a friend, and me (the camera is the important part, though). I would love to stop off at little unknown towns and get people’s stories through captured images, then compile it when I am back home. Story of America! I would hope to find some great dirty vagabond types, or town characters! I want to be free to stop in the most random areas and explore the hidden corners of unknown places.
I am a Jersey girl who just a few months ago moved to Eugene, Oregon, and have never been to ‘Let’s Keep it Weird’ Portland. I would like to attend the WORLD NAKED BIKE RIDE where a tutu and BLUE LIZARD SUNSCREEN would be much in demand. My bike could have a little flag with their logo. I could toss out samples. I could wear a tiara and be the naked queen of the sunscreen.
I want to take my boyfriend and his kids on a trip thru southeast Michigan, to Chicago for pizza, and on to the House on the Rock in WI. I went once, but they have never been. Words cannot describe!
I haven’t been on a road trip in years! This I need to do. Thanks for the great ideas.
I would love to go to Main and sample every place that sells lobster rolls. Yummm
I want to go to Angkor Wat. With my two favorite people in the world. To soak up the ancient spiritual juju and eat some crickets, maybe. 🙂
I would love to go visit Big Sur – do some camping, some hiking, some overall awesome-ing. Your trip looks totally weird, and totally amazeballs. 🙂
There is the Kaskaskia dragon in Vandalia, IL that has been calling my name. It actually breathes fire.After paying a visit to that I would drive across Missouri (stopping in St. Loius to see the arch) to Tulsa, OK and see the big statue of Oral Roberts @ the Oral Roberts University with a pit stop at the cave house.
I’d love to see the Maryhill Stonehenge in Washington state, AND the one in Virginia – “Foamhenge”. I totally need sunscreen, as I’m a ginger, so thank you for the recommend on Blue Lizard!
I would like to see the crazy Winchester mansion in San Jose, CA. It’s super ghosty and strange with a cool story about a paranoid lady behind it. Check it out!
I want to go to Georgia and stalk Norman reedus or andrew lincoln or both, am not choosy. and tress, yeah i like trees.
Hawaii!!! Dream vacation. 2nd choice would be Australia (I know, how perfect!)
I would love to go Vegas, not for the gambling or druken semi–nudity, but for the Cirque du Solei shows. That’s weird enough, right? (Either that or go to NY to see Hamilton!!)
I would love to hike to the bottom of the Grand Canyon and take a float raft trip down the river.
I have Machu Picchu on my bucket list.
I definitely want to see those giant zombie hands; they remind me last season’s Dr. Who opener.
Great to see your Big nut trip. have to add it to the todo list. The bigs i have seen so far –all Down under mind u… big banana, big pineapple, big prawn, big guitar, big merino, big oyster
I have never been to Makinaw Islands. No cars is really appealing to me right now.
Stull cemetery in Kansas. One of the seven gateways to hell.
I would like to go to Riverside, Iowa, the future birthplace of Captain James Kirk. My husband agreed to stop when we were on our road trip to St Louis but he changed his mind when he found out we’d have to walk through an alley next to a beauty shop to reach the rock and park bench that marks the spot. His exact words, “that sounds like some ‘chainsaw massacre’ shit.”
I am from Alaska. my husband and I want to do a road trip and visit all the states.
I really really want to go to Australia to see poturdo. I’ve been taking about it for months telling all my friends. I also want to see the worlds largest rocking horse in Australia. They also have a shoe store that’s a whole city block and multiple stories.
Virginia Beach! Daughter wants to parasail and although we live in Florida, that was where I went parasailing the first time (with my husband). Add in Colonial Williamsburg, Jamestown, Yorktown, a day trip to hit Arlington National Cemetery and DC and bam – social studies covered. Besides, especially in this day and age – just THINK of the people/things you might see in DC… or not.. maybe the ghost tours in New Orleans would be less frightening!
I’ve never used this fancy comment thing before, but I suppose cool stuff is as good of a reason of any to start! (I really should use this more often, to tell you how amazing you are).
Anyway, I would either go back to New Orleans, because it was honestly the trip of a life time and the whole city might be haunted. Or I would go check out a lot of fantastic historical stuff on an east coast road trip.
I’I’d like to go anywhere where I can sleep with a camel. Wait, that came out wrong. Sleep NEXT to a camel. My sister lives in Oman and we found someone with a camel but then as she and this Arabic guy kept talking ( he had very limited English), somehow it changed into a discussion about how many goats he would give her in exchange for making me his bride. Thanks for looking out for me big sis. I guess it could have worked- her kids would learn about goats and have food for dinner if the goats tried to eat their clothes and stuff ( because this is a Muslim country and if goats can’t respect that clothing should be more conservative there, then they should be eaten. The goats not the clothes…. Unless the goats already ate the clothes and then you’re kind of eating both). So her kids would have goats and since this man had a camel, I’d probably get to sleep next to it….. Right? Hmmmm…. Maybe I should have considered the trademark carefully before refusing. Anyway, it’s a billion degrees in Oman and I need lots of sunscreen there so if they don’t send me to someplace with camels, maybe they could send me some sunscreen? Then if a goat tries to chew on me I won’t taste good either cause I’ll be slathered in sunscreen. Or they will never end up burning their sunscreen soaked tongues. Not sure what would happen.
Banff, Alberta
I’m actually already planning a trip to Arizona (and Antelope Canyon!)… Hmm… I’d like to do a trip to see the aurora borealis. Alaska would do it!
Woh, Mexico, I never really been so I don’t really know.
And oh, Mexico, I guess I’ll have to go now.
Talking bout Mexico. Big ol’ honkey-tonk down in Mexico (James Taylor)
We have a small nonprofit that works with refugees and someone gave us a van recently. I have never had a van before. It’s an awesome van, only 20 years old, full of character and big windows and with a ton of cup holders and a back bench seat that reclines into a bed and TWO TVs, which is amazing as I have never had a TV in my vehicles before this. I really really really really want to do a road trip in this van. My daughter is in art school in Rhode Island which is about as far as you can get from me in Oregon, and I want to see her face when her family pulls up in The Van. Also I could see, on the way, Montana and the Badlands and US presidential faces carved into rock and also my brother, who moved to Iowa. Why? The govt of Iowa pays people to stay, but he moved there. I think it’s on the way. We would see many other things as well. Yellowstone, for instance. I promise to not put a baby bison in the back of The Van.
I totally need a reason to use #restingtrumpface. That hashtags is hilarious.
Also, I’d love to go to Idaho/Montana/Wyoming. It’s the only “portion” of the state’s I have left on my US travel list.
I would like to visit the ultimate small American beach town. I don’t care which coast it’s on, but I want it to have a boardwalk, and squawking seagulls, and clapboard cottages (whatever clapboard is). I want there to be a 4th of July parade, with red white and blue bunting (whatever bunting is) on all the front porches on Main Street. I want the place to smell like cotton candy, and waffle cones, and sunscreen (you know which brand), and ocean. I want to feel sand between my toes, dried sea salt in my curls, and the heady rush of a summer crush on that boy (you know who he is).
I want to go to Philly and eat a Philly cheese and I want to go to Chicago and eat deep dish pizza and I want to go to Maine and eat Lobster. I want to eat my way across the nation and see all the weird shit in between my binges. Fuck yeah. 😎
I want to see the new and improved Peculularium in Portland. 86 kinds of awesome.
I recently learned that my last name is actually my grandfather’s alias he took on as a US fugitive sneaking into Canada during WWII. Turns out my heritage stems from North Carolina. I’ve lived on the west coast of Canada my whole life and it would be so amazing to explore this part of my history, even though it stems from bad grampa’s lengthy criminal record.
Great trip!
We would love to go to Yellowstone and unlike the last folks we won’t get caught bringing home our own baby buffalo.
BEAR WORLD. I briefly lived in Idaho, and I always passed Bear World, but never had the chance to go. I would like to rectify that.
I’d love to visit Alaska. Though can you really do a roadtrip there? would moose (mooses? Meese?) bother you if you were on a road trip?
A few years ago we took a family road trip to House on the Rock – the most awesome place ever. All of us had a great time – which is no easy task when you’ve got 4 very diverse kids between the ages of 14-20. Well we’re all getting together again this summer, no easy task when your kids literally live as far north south east & west in the continental US as possible. I’d love to go see the wonderful oddities of House on the Rock again. Where else can you see hundreds of creepy dolls, the worlds largest carousel, and elephant armor all in one place?
I would just like to road trip to Carmel and stay there for a month and party with Clint Eastwood because he seems like the coolest guy ever. Also just FYI in California until August, entry to all National Parks is free for fourth graders and their families. Just recently took my family of five to Alcatraz for FREEEEEE., saving $180. Which we promptly blew on tourist shit. But still.
Oo! Oo! Oo! I wanna go to the Cushing Brain Museum in CT to see the Abby Normal brains!
I shit you not, I went to the Grand Canyon just this past weekend for the first time, and took the exact same picture of the toilets! Those signs are ridiculous. I would love to take a trip to see Ruby Falls in Tennessee. It’s a waterfall about as tall as Niagara Falls, but it’s 1000+ feet underground in a cavern, which just sounds amazing! From there, I’d drive to Kentucky to see Mammoth Cave, because being underground feels like the closest you can get to being on another planet but it’s a much easier road trip! Except I’m realizing that an all cave vacation may not be the most logical candidate to win a sunblock sweepstakes… But I’d totally drive along the bourbon trail in Kentucky along the way! Which is outside in the sun…so that’s relevant!
They probably don’t sell this lizard stuff where I live, but I will on amazon based on this blog. Also, I’ve made flaccid penis cookies,but never seen the flacid rock formations. BTW “i’ll be your huckleberry.”
My parents drove us all around the U.S. when I was a kid, so I’ve seen a lot of the awesome places in the U.S., and a lot of strange ones. (But I was a kid, so I don’t remember them very well, and I’m pretty sure my mom said, “Look, ice cream!” and pointed in the wrong direction when we passed the really cool stuff, like the penis rock.) But one place we didn’t get a chance to visit was Arches National Park in Utah. The pictures always look SO amazing (like your picture of Antelope Canyon) that I’ve always wanted to go there.
I want to visit Saltspring Island and visit my brother (and see a gorgeous part of Canada)
Apparently I have been to BC before, but it was before my first birthday, so it’s time to go back.
My family lives on Connecticut and I’d love to take a road trip to both King Richard’s and the New York Renaissance Faire with them. We’re volunteers at our local ren faire and I’d love to visit the bigger faired in the area.
I’d like to visit the Grand Canyon, and now I feel like I need to see the Thing…
I’d love to do a road trip through New England… or Alaska… or the southwest… so many choices!!!
What a wonderfully weird family road trip! I’m jealous. And thanks for putting Rory in the big hole pic. Laughed tears. There is supposedly this whole town of psychics and mediums in upstate New York. I’d love to take my family there, possibly arrange for an introduction to my dead dad and a few other relatives and friends on the other side. Does that sound creepy? The creepier, the better!
I’m getting ready to send my daughter on a road trip with my parents. They’ve already been on the ultimate roadtrip in their RV for the past two months. In less than three weeks, once the school year has ended, my daughter is flying by herself from Tampa, FL to Seattle, WA. There my parents will pick her up at the airport and she will join their roadtrip adventure. They will drive from Seattle, through Canada, and into Alaska. They plan to spend a couple of weeks adventuring through Alaska… sled dogs, panning for gold, whale watching, glaciers, all the good Alaska stuff. Once they get back to Washington my daughter may fly home OR may decide to hang with them a while longer and come up with a new destination. Alaska is a definite and then they’re just winging it from there. She is so excited.
If you’re in California, keep your eyes peeled (pun intended) for banana slugs. They’re mostly found in wet coastal forest areas. They can be 10 ” long – really cool!. Also, if in SoCal, visit the Rubel Castle in Glendora. A must see!
I want to go to Alaska to see whales breeching and Edinburgh for the festival and the Tattoo and Germany to see my granddaughter and take the Grimm’s fairy tales road trip!
I just wrote about the banana slugs and didn’t want to be anonymous. My iPad felt differently!
We need to visit more haunted hotels.
I want to road trip around California!
I would love to take a tour of the weirdest places in America. I’d also like to see the big hole in the ground (Grand Canyon), the hole that spits (geysers @ Yellowstone) and Arches at Arches national park in UT.
What an amazing trip! I would love to go to the Grand Canyon and am adding Antelope Canyon to the list as well (both to be seen while slathered in sunscreen).
When my husband and I first moved to CA nearly 20 years ago, we saw a PBS special about Pinnacles National Park. “That looks cool. We should go there sometime!” we said. Then we had kids. And jobs. And excuses. And meanwhile Pinnacles National Park remains aloof, taunting us with it’s in-state-yet-too-damn-far-to-do-on-a-day-trip accessibility. So, um, yeah. That’s where I want to go. Pinnacles.
Bluegrass + Spelunking = Welcome to Cumberland Caverns!
http://cumberlandcaverns.com/bluegrass-underground/
I’m in knots to see the Giant Ball of Twine (located in Kansas)…
We’re planning a road trip from California to Kansas – so many funky things to see. I’d like to do a “Tombstone” tour – from Wyatt Earp’s grave in California (I think) to Tombstone, AZ to Dodge City, KS. We did stay in Glenwood Springs, CO. It’s where Doc Holliday convalesced.
I want to go to one of those hot air balloon festivals that take you up in a ballon but leave you tethered to the ground because I’m deathly afraid of heights and want to go up in a balloon but not really go anywhere!
My husband and I have never been to California…. That’d be an AWESOME road trip (as we’re on the East Coast) Will have to check out this Lizard stuff…. I use sunscreen like a vampire would if he desperately needed to go into the daylight!
So if I won, I would go to Massachusetts to see a weird but awesome statue of the Bewitched character. Because I think it’s hilarious to commemorate a fake TV witch in a place like Salem. I’ve heard it’s controversial because maybe some people don’t like witches or fake witches or TV. But whatever. I mean I am pretty sure my family would hate it which totally means I want to drag them there. At first I wanted to see a two story port-a-potty but then I thought about my kids wanting to try it and it seems kind of unsafe and splashy and that made me sick to my stomach so no. I’ll just go see the fake witch tv statue. Plus I don’t know where the two story port-a-potty is located. If you pick me I promise to take a photo and to wear the sun screen. Anyway in the short time it took me to write this comment my youngest child stabbed herself with a wood chip. It was literally hanging out of her foot. So I screamed for my husband and he pulled it out. He is yelling at me to put my phone down because our daughter needs a bandaid and he is not going to Salem but I secretly hope he is going!! So, because my daughter was injured and my hubby is mad I kind of think I should win.
I would love to go visit NY City and see a Broadway show and the ballet!
My husband and I do haunted road trips and we did one very similar to yours. Saw the Thing and went to Jerome. My favorite part of Jerome was the donkey. Don’t know if he’s still there, but he was awesome and I so wanted to donkey-nap him.
I would love to go to the black sky park in the upper peninsula of Michigan. It’s called the Headlands and sometimes they see the northern lights which has been a dream of mine for years.
I would like to visit my daughter in Austin Texas. I do visit her a couple of times a year for a long weekend, but I would like to stay long enough to not feel guilty about spending a day waiting in line for Franklin bbq
I want to go to the mustard museum in Wisconsin. We took the kids to see the hot dog museum in Ohio and now I feel incomplete. Need to see the mustard so that it all makes sense.
I would do a state by state tour of funky house tours, like the Paper House in Rockport MA that is totally made out of paper, even the furniture, and the O. Henry house in Austin Texas. He lived there for two years. Or the Whistler Museum in Lowell MA which has a reproduction of the painting known as Whister’s Mother. Or the Mark Twain and Harriet Beecher Stowe houses in Hartford CT. They lived in adjoining homes. Or Locust Grove, the home of Samuel Morse, inventor of the telegraph and Morse Code. I guess I have been to a few already but every state has them.
My dream trip would be to ride the Empire Builder train out to Portland, OR and spend a week exploring Powell’s City of Books – with occasional breaks to visit Voodoo Donuts, Moonstruck Chocolates, the Beverly Cleary Sculpture Garden, and Rimsky-Korsakoffee House. Kind of an indoors-y itinerary, but I would faithfully apply my Blue Lizard sunscreen before visiting the Sculpture Garden. Even if it was raining. Because UV rays are sneaky like that.
Somewhere in Indiana is a small town that lays claim to the worlds largest golf tea, worlds largest kitchen chair, AND the worlds largest windchime…all in one town. How can I not want to go and see that?
The Mini Time Machine Museum of Miniatures in Tuscon AZ. Basically I want to walk around pretending I’m a giant/God for a couple of hours and then go chill by the pool.
I would like to visit my father-in-law, who we haven’t seen in a number of years, and maybe stop and see sights on the way. Failing that, I’d like to go to the Pennsic War, as despite having been in the SCA for a number of years we’ve never been.
I want to go to the Florida Keys to see Jesus under water. I thought that dude walked on water! Anyway, he’s Jesus, he can do what he wants.
My wife and I are currently separated by a 1200 miles (yay military) and I think a vacation to somewhere away from both of us would be pretty fantastic- maybe meeting in Oregon or NorCal? Or even going back to Vegas.
I just booked my ticket to visit my brother in Australia. I want to th Sydney Opra House, the Great Barrier Reef, whale watching, and every other touristy thing I can cram in.
The ultimate road trip would have to be to Crater of Diamonds State Park in Arkansas. It’s a park…with DIAMONDS in it… and you get to keep what you find! What more could you want?! I would take my best friend, who also happens to be my daughter, and we could get some new “best friends” ;p
I’d like to see Marfa, TX; how does an artist colony spring up in the desert? That’s definitely a place for sunscreen. Wherever Burning Man is , I’d go there (definitely more sunscreen needed.) Then I’d drive through Luling (480 years the other direction) for the Watermelon Thump and annoy my husband by spitting watermelon seeds at him, For the grand finale, I’d go to Asheville, NC to see the pipe smoking nun riding on the super tall bicycle.
Dallas TX. I want to see where I was born.
Really, I just want to go see Celine in Vegas 😉
I thought i wanted to see the grand canyon but now i wanna go to antelope canyon!
I will limit myself to theUS because possibilities are endless…I want to roadtrip all across the US stopping to see all the old roadside attractions, sleep in a teepee, see abandoned dinosaur parks, stop in Vegas and New Orleans, see Voodoo Donut in Portland, eat at diner/roadside places, collect trashy souveniers, see Yellowstone, stop at Salem, just a weird, wonderful road trip with my besties
It’s my goal to one day go on a “Dirty Road Trip” visiting all the towns across America with filthy names. It would feature the following.
Blue Ball, Pennsylvania
Intercourse, Pennsylvania
Fort Dick, California
Spread Eagle, Wisconsin
Assinippi, Massachusetts
Bald Knob, Arkansas
Bumpass, Virginia
Erect, North Carolina
Nipple, Utah
Climax, Pennsylvania
Threeway, Virginia
Big Beaver, Saskatchewan
Fanny, West Virginia
Virginville, Pennsylvania
Hooker, Oklahoma
Bohners Lake, Wisconsin
Dickey, North Dakota
Dickeyville, Wisconsin
Tightsqueeze, Virginia
Climax Springs, Missouri
Willacoochie, Georgia
Moreheadville, Pennsylvania
Glasscock, Texas
Reamstown, Pennsylvania
I want to rent a wheelchair accessible motor home and take my husband cross country from CT to WA to see the Badlands, Yellowstone, Devils Tower, Custer State Park, the rain forests in WA, Sedona….just go everywhere!
Must. See. The. Thing.Oh, and antelope canyon. That looks beautiful and sounds amazing! Thanks for sharing your weird road trip!
I really want to go to Hawaii (yeah, probably need more than $500 but whatever) and hang out around the live volcanoes. But not too close, for reasons I hope are obvious. Just close enough to be cool.
I would love to take a paranormal road trip. London Bridge (lake havasu), roswell, taos, marfa, Stanley hotel, area 51. It’s about 3000 miles round trip from my house and prohibitively expensive. Aliens and ghosts!
“Ralph’s Joy of Living” in Tiffin, Ohio. I am intrigued but worried. What the hell could that even mean? It’s a store, I think. What in the hell does one SELL with that kind of store name? With $500 I’d be brave enough to try. Could be boring. But that’s cool since I’m never bored. The pictures could be epic.
OMG. Jenny, I want this…I am planning a road trip to Centralia to do an incredible photoshoot to go with a short film series I am working on RIGHT NOW. This would be so much fun. THAT SAID I am also def ordering sunscreen because my SPF 100 still gets me beige. HOW???
My dream is to just jump in an RV and roll the dice at every intersection to see where we end up. We love out west and would love to do Arches Nat’l Park and some others out that way. And, of course, hit every restaurant in the area featured on Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives.
My kiddos are teenagers- and I want to have one last family road trip before my oldest is a full fledged adult. We’d love to drive to Florida… where we would need sunblock!
Would it be wrong or creepy to say I want to visit Jenny but really I’d just want to see Beyonce the giant metal chicken I’m pretty sure it’s probably the greatest thing around!! My next choice would be to go to Chicago because I absolutely love pizza and I hear they have pretty decent pizza, I dunno though I think I need to be the judge of that!!:)
I want to go to the Everglades this summer. And Harry Potter World, but my husband doesn’t know that’s on the agenda, so don’t tell him until we get there, ‘kay?!
Named for the sucking, grunting, piggy-like sounds made by the vortex as it spins, Old Sow is the Western Hemisphere’s largest whirlpool. It lies in Passamaquoddy Bay between New Brunswick, Deer Island and Moose Island off Eastport, ME. I just hope not to fall in.
How fun, love to win
I would love to visit the National Parks in Utah. I would have to use the $500 on Blue Lizard sunscreen though. My skin is what you would refer to as “pasty.”
I would LOVE to do ghost tours – I think New Orleans would be a blast! But there are many places that would be nice to see – A nice beach, The Grand Canyon, San Diego – I’d pretty much go anywhere!
I want to go to the Pacific Northwest!
Oh, that was a very cool trip! I want to visit USA but I think that will not happen with only $500 kkkkk but it’s okay, I can use to go to Buraco Azul in Mato Grosso, your shold go tgere onde day, is a very beautfull place
Well, I probably don’t deserve to win, as I won a Hoops & Yoyo luggage tag set by promising them I’d take them to exotic locales like Buffalo and Cleveland. And I also won an umbrella from the Morton Salt Company when I was in high school and you could only enter contests by mailing actual mail with real stamps and paper. But because I am fascinated (and partially terrified) by food, I really want to visit the Jell-O Museum in LeRoy, NY and the Spam museum in Austin, MN. Probably not in the same trip though. And I won’t need sunscreen in either location for like 9 months of the year, because winter. But hey. PICK ME ANYWAY.
I’ve see Hemingway’s 7-toed cats in Key West, so I’m thinking the Museum of Weird in Austin, or the Super Museum in Metropolis, IL.
My wish is to visit Florida to have a chance to hold a baby alligator!!! When I was a child, I really wanted to be a herpetologist when I grew up. Imagine telling that to adults when you are 10 years old…them…”You want to study HERPES???!!!” Me…”NO! Reptiles and amphibians!” I don’t think they were much more impressed with THAT choice!
Anyhow, I guess somehow, that line of work didn’t pan out for me and now I’m a para in a structured classroom for kids with autism. I love it, but I’d really like the chance to revisit my childhood dream!
I would go to Portland because it is awesome, and my kids need to see Powell’s Books, eat at VooDoo donuts, got to Multnomah Falls, and travel to the Goonies house! Oh yeah, and visit their Aunt & Uncle there!
I would like to go sunbathing in my back yard, which is not exactly a road trip but we live in a road and perhaps I might trip on a rock on my way to the sunshine. I spend to much time at my computer though, so I should probably protect myself with some sunscreen (wink, wink) before I attempt the journey to the near outdoors.
I’ve never seen the ocean. So I’d road trip to the closest ocean, I’m bad at geography I’d have to google which one is closest to Minnesota. Also,I’d need the suncreen as I have 2 color choices- pasty or pink.
I have always wanted to visit Topeka, Kansas. I’m from just outside of New York City. I’m the movies you always see Kansas as flat farmland, but I know they have real cities as well. So I’d like to see that…
Well, I kinda want to go on a road trip from where I am (Midwest) down to Florida to see my best friend who I haven’t seen in almost a year! On the way I most def want to stop at the Museum of the Appalachia because I drove by it every year on my commute to and from school in SC and it’s that weird thing en route I really want to see!
Although I like to imagine that I’d go on some super-interesting trip the truth is I’d probably try to visit every last bookstore (used and new) in three states. Which, although admirable, is not terribly exciting to many people.
Drive from one No Kill animal shelter to another with the trunk full of treats and toys. And Blue Lizard.
Aww! I love this post. A couple of people said it reminded them if American gods! Totally! I’d love to go to the place in th South were you can find diamonds. It’s called crater of diamonds Park I think, which isn’t creative, but it gets the point across. Also, we love blue lizard. I didn’t know it existed until my son was born and I started looking for safe sunblock. It works great. And the bottle turns pink in uv light as a reminder to apply sunblock!
Wow, great post. Also a lot of great trip ideas. Mine is to visit the Toy and Action Figure Museum in Oklahoma (where the grass grows taller than the trees). We were on the way back to WA when I saw a roadside sign for it. Quite a few years ago now, but I’ve been intrigued ever since. I hope it’s still open……?
Many years back when I was newly single again I heard a song by Joshua Kadison, “Painted Desert Serenade” Here is the first verse…
“He tells her “I wanna paint you naked on a big brass bed,
with bright orange poppies all around your head”
And she says “Crazy old man, I’m not young anymore”
“That’s all right” He whispers. “I’ve never painted before.”
As the song continues, “And he says “Well that makes us both footloose and fancy-free, so Jane,
do you wanna come see the painted desert with me?”
Ever since the first time I heard this song, I knew I would HAVE TO go to The Painted Desert one day. As of yet I haven’t made it there but I keep hoping…one day.
Regardless, I still love the song and hearing it always puts me into the most beautifully wistful state.
I want to take my family to Harry Potter’s Wizarding World. Not sure if they have a toilet with a cavern and snake below, but I am sure this too, is a toilet you do not want to drink out of.
Three words: Dr. Evermor’s Forevertron. I want to see that so bad.
Beyond that? I’d love to steal my best friend out of Ohio (I live in NH) and take a trip up and down the east coast with her. Did you know there’s a free book shop in Maryland that won’t let any of their visitors pay for books? Or the world’s largest hammock in North Carolina. Or the National Cryptologic Museum and the Urology Museum, both of which are in Baltimore. (Maryland’s weird. In a really good way.)
My mom’s been through some crappy things lately, and hasn’t once complained when she travels up to Iowa from Texas to make sure her super-pregnant daughter is doing ok, even though she can’t afford it. She’s always wanted to see a play on Broadway and travel by train, but after my dad moved her to west Texas (Veribest!), she hasn’t been able to really travel. Now that she’s retired, I would really love to take her, her first grandkid (in utero for 8 more weeks), and myself to do all these things so she can have some good memories to replace the bad.
I’d love to take my boys to the Pacific Northwest!
I would load my ten-yea-old son and very republican husband (his personality is very much lie Victor, only he’s less flexible…) into the car and drag them to all the craziest spots in Wisconsin. Seriously, we’ve got a 4 1/2 story fiberglass fish with stairs to a lookout in his mouth; Ed Gein’s grave; mobster hideouts; sea caves on the Apostle Islands; taxidermy museums (yes that’s multiple); wineries; and the world’s largest scrap metal sculpture & steam punk time travel extravagana (http://worldofdrevermor.com)!
So yes, lots of weirdnesswaiting to happen!
Also, if you end up touring New Mexico again: The House of Eternal Return. https://meowwolf.com/about/visit/ It looks AMAZING.
I’d like to take my family someplace warm… it was snowing here in Cleveland on Sunday. May 15th and we get snow!!!!!
Fabulously weird trip! And I agree about the time it takes to cross Texas by car: I’ve been from Texarkana to Amarillo via Dallas in a Chevy Chevette with no A/C.
I really want to visit dollywood, the grand canyon, and the giant redwood forest. Big hair, big hole, and big trees. It would make an epic roadtrip
I’m glad you enjoyed my holey state. We loved having y’all! (Yes, I can speak for the whole state!) When we moved here in 1974, I remember I was deeply disappointed when I first saw the Petrified Forest. Almost as disappointed as I was when I first saw a roadrunner.
Awesome places I’ve been: The dinosaurs just outside of Cabazon, California. The drive-through “zoo” along old Route 66 in Missouri. Meramec Caverns, also in Missouri. Colossal Cave, another cool hole in Arizona (just outside Tucson), probably a far outshoot of Kartchner Caverns, down in Benson.
I’ve also been all over Montana and South Dakota, but I was around four years old, so I don’t remember them and I want to go back again.
The Seattle Space Needle was surprisingly disappointing.
I’ve been to Graceland. That was cool.
A lot of the places I want to see unfortunately no longer exist because cool roadside stops are a vanishing species… so what I really want is a Delorean with a working flux capacitor.
Probably not worth $500, but it is wordy.
I went to the petrified forest and may have stolen a petrified wood chip. In my defense, I was young and reckless and apparently really into wood chips. I’ve been wanting to road trip into Kansas. There has long been a family legend that my great grandmother said that she just knew she would die if she ever went to Kansas, and in three generations, no one has set foot in the state. I figure now that I’m older, still reckless, but less into wood chips, I might as well tempt fate and have an amazing time while I’m at it. Apparently there’s a cemetery where the devil is supposed to make annual appearances? How could I miss it?!
I want to go visit Banff national park. It’s been on my list for a while. I’m sure there would be fun bizarre stops along the way
I would visit the beach in Oregon where they tried to get rid of a whale carcass WITH EXPLOSIVES. It would be a pilgrimage honoring the kind of stupidity only a committee can produce. At the same time, I would search for agates with my dad and uncle like they did as kids with my late grandmother. (Uh… I mean back when Gram was alive. I’m reasonably certain they didn’t drag her corpse to the beach, although I’d be down for that road trip, too.)
That looks awesome! I’d love to check out the grand canyon like you did or drive the coast of California or drive to Yellowstone. Just a few road trip ideas.
I would like to go visit my mom…she is awesome, so it is totally applicable.
Side note- I have driven from Austin, TX to Southwest KS a few times, I feel like 480 years is an understatement.
Youi are so effing funny. I’ll happily be your chef next time you travel, if, you come to Ontario, Canada, Autumn, and we record the whole sordid moment. Would be so awesome.
My bucket list includes diving the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, going on a safari in Africa, and seeing the pyramids of Egypt. But on THIS continent, there are so many things to see that I can’t even narrow it down. We’d like to take our kids to Yellowstone. We’ve driven up the North Shore of Lake Superior and are definitely going to do it again. We passed through the Great Smoky Mountains and were so sad that we literally were just driving through. We love road trips! Our kids, now 3 and 5, have been to NC and back to MN, to TX and back, got to use their passports in Canada and have done numerous small road trips in our area. And the random stops are the best part- it’s how we saw the Texas Rangers museum, bought pecans at a roadside stand, and bought vintage Tonka Trucks at a random antique shop in KY. It’s amazing to see how the scenery changes as you drive- you get to see the gradual shift instead of the shock of change you get from flying.
I’m torn – my dream trip for decades now has been to take the train through the Canadian Rockies to Banff/Lake Louise, but now after seeing your pics, I really want to go to Antelope Canyon. Either way, I need sunscreen 🙂
I’m a single mama who dreams of road trips with my daughter. Driving her and myself as far south in Cali as possible to follow the Monarch’s migrating is on the top of the list. Would be so bad ass! Mama daughter road trippppppin
Thanks for the ad, Jenny! Just bought a ton of it!
There’s this bar called the “moccasin bar” in Wisconsin and there’s just taxidermied animals smoking pipes and boozin while playing poker and a bunch of crazy shit like that. There’s a few different scenes with various woodland animals and it is one of the all time craziest places I’ve ever seen. All I want to do in life is go there and drink a kiddy cocktail (hold the kitty) (and maybe the tail) with a cottontail.
I would love to go on a road trip with my family from Texas to Colorado to go skiing. We would definitely need sunscreen for this! The only thing I would be dreading is the nothingness between San Antonio and El Paso!
So, we apparently missed you by DAYS at Pertrified Forest during our crazy Spring Break Road trip, except we were headed east and then south back to Phoenix. Blue Lizard is an amazing sunscreen, which I know first hand since most sunscreens make my kid break out in a rash and Blue Lizard is one of the few that doesn’t. So, I’ve used it a lot, both on the kid an myself. Back to the road trip – kind of need the $500 to have a repeat, since the husband/father of the kid had to work and missed it all. Yup, true story. If the random number generator gods could find it in their hearts to set us up with a cool $500, that’d be awesome!
That’s easy. The best road trip would be one where hubby and I travel through as many states as possible looking for (and buying) old fashioned candy. You know the kind – the stuff your parents didn’t want you to eat as a kid. The pixy sticks, crows, astro pops, nik l nip wax bottles, candy buttons on paper, etc etc. We started this adventure once (and gained 12 pounds in less than 2 weeks so couldn’t fit in the wedding clothes we took for the end of this road trip). I’ve always wanted to continue what we started……
Where would I like to go? I would start by seeing hit Dinosaurland (which looks kinda well, roadside attraction-ish and not in a great way), then driving up to see Edgar Allan Poe’s grave & museum, then finally land at the Smithsonian! ‘Cause who wouldn’t want to see Archie Bunker’s recliner?
I want to go to the Everglades and participate in the Python hunt. Apparently, it’s a sanctioned thing to hunt for people’s gigantic discarded snakes, who are taking over the park. (Frankly, I would never, in a million years, get anywhere near water that has huge, squeezy things in it, but I’d love to ride on an airboat. That’s close enough, isn’t it?)
I’d like to go see my sister for Thanksgiving, because I haven’t been able to visit her in five years.
I’ve been in the gas station for THE THING a million times, but my family have all seen it so we move on. I’m headed to New Mexico for Christmas, I need to see some of those stops! Yay, adulthood, I can stop when I want!
Regarding the prize thingy, I would love to go to the coast and see Alcatraz, the Winchester Mystery House, the Exploratorium, and the Rosicrutian museum. I’ve tried to go to Alcatraz twice, but it didn’t work out, same with the Mystery house. I’ve been to the Exploratorium, but my nephiews haven’t! The Rosecrutian was a favorite of my Grandmother’s before she passed. I’d like to go to remember her, but I’d also like to go to see all the things I missed when I was helping her. I probably didn’t miss much, they’re totally handicap friendly, as I recal. They have the coolest hippo sculptures outside!
I want to go back to Darwin Falls in Death Valley. It’s such a beautiful waterfall in the middle of the desert.
Having been to many touristy places, I think seeing the Big Ball of Twine somewhere in Minnesota could be a highlight…or perhaps low light… or maybe even no light experience. After all, who doesn’t collect string, wind it up in a big ball, and keep it somewhere for safe keeping. Never know when you might need a piece of string or not, just saying.
I have no idea why I’m bothering as I never win anything. I read here because sometimes there are things that make me laugh for a few minutes and forget how awful my life is, so thanks for that.
But in the interest of playing the game, I’d probably go on a road trip to visit a few amusement parks or maybe the Texas State Fair since I’ve lived in TX for 25 years and never gone and think it might be nifty to go someday.
Ooh, I’d love to travel somewhere by train! Sounds all mysterious and romantic at the same time. Mysmantic? Rosterious? Whatever, I’d love to do it.
There is a Superman museum, I think it is in Kentucky, not sure. I remember it from a cross country trip with my parents. My dad stops for no one, unless you are throwing up, then he stops.The worlds largest ball of twine. I don’t know where it is, but I can find out. Eureka Springs Arkansas to stay in the Cresent Hotel. It is haunted, my friends daughter got a picture of a ghost arm coming out of the wall.
So I have this thing for ghost towns, I dunno why but the creepiness and cool history make them fun to visit. I want to do a ghost town tour of New England, there is a cool facebook page, https://www.facebook.com/NEGTOWNS/, that talks about a lot of them. I wanna go learn the histories of these places and hopefully see some fucked up ghosts. I’m especially interested in Dog Town in MA that place just sounds super creepy but at the same time super exciting.
I am counting down the days to my next trip to Disneyland!!! I know it’s not super weird, but it’s still awesome and the best trip ever. 🙂
Weird trips are the best trips
My 5 year old would love the see the “giant spitting holes” in Wyoming…I really hope he means the geysers at Yellowstone.
So there’s this book you might have heard of; “American Gods”. My copy is signed by someone you might even know. grin
Ever since I read it, I’ve wanted to see everything in it, but especially The House On The Rock. I occasionally dream about this place I’ve never been, never even seen on film, but only read descriptions of. I want to see what happens when dreams make themselves manifest in architecture. I especially dream about the underground carousel, and I want to give it a good hard look, to see if the animals really do come to life and ask them to pretty, pretty, pretty please, take me to that other world where the gods of the old world talk strategy for the coming war.
I have a walking liberty half-dollar to protect me. Now all I need is a VW microbus that smells mysteriously of bananas. Or maybe a Ho Chunk.
And some gas money.
That was fabulous. I’ve been to the Grand Canyon, and it was awesome. I do love the outdoors, especially in a perfect climate like San Diego, which is where I am currently hanging out. However, I love visiting urban jungles – and, yes, you need sunscreen there, too!!! So send me to New York City, please.
That sounds like an awesome trip.
I’ve always wanted to need a passport. I’m 42 freaking years old and I’ve never had one. I grew up in Idaho. We’re right next to Canada. Have I ever been to Canada? Nope. I live on the wrong end of Idaho for that. It’s sort of like driving from one side of Texas to the other. Only with crazy curvy two lane roads you get to share with semis. I’d love to take my kids to visit a foreign country, with a stop over at an amusement park. Because roller coasters.
I would stay in Nevada and visit the Goldwell Open Air Museum in Beatty. It has amazing sculptures, and the most popular are the ‘ghost’ sculptures which were created by putting fabric soaked in wet plaster around human models.
I would dearly love to go to Hawaii, see the volcanoes and snorkel on the coral reefs, but for this contest, I would choose to go to Alaska and kayak with orcas. My partner has been so very supportive of me and it has always been her dream to go to Alaska, so it would be my dream to make her dream come true. She’s also always wanted to see a grizzly bear!
I want to go with my mom to one of those places where you can look for your own fossils, (well not my OWN fossil since I’m not dead yet and even if I was, it still takes millions of years to be created. And honestly, who has the time to wait around for that?) Or go with her to one of those places where you can look for gems. Then I would make her a necklace of what we found to remind her of the day we had together.
I would like to go to the Badlands in South Dakota via Devil’s Tower in Wyoming and Mt. Rushmore. Love your crazy trip!!!
I am 9 hours away from my 19-year-old daughter because of a domestic violence relationship that forced me to leave muchigan, while my daughter still remains there in college. She LOVES to explore. I would pick her up and we would head out with no major destination in mind – flipping a coin at major intersections: turn right for heads, left for tails, and a GPS backup in case we accidentally turned into a large body of water. I don’t get to see her for a year, and this is just the type of adventure I could never do on my own, but that SHE inspires me to do!!
Forget the Visa, I want to know what The Thing is.
Last August I took friends to Leila’s Hair Museum in Independence, MO. They said they enjoyed it.
In November I took my husband to the International Banana Museum in Mecca, CA by the Salton Sea. He rolled his eyes but he’s the one who wanted to return two days later. That was because of the banana chocolate milkshakes though.
Next up is convincing him or some friends to roadtrip across South Dakota for the weird stuff like the corn palace but also the great stuff like Mt Rushmore.
But the endgame of the roadtrip will be to then go north into North Dakota and bag my 50th state and get the t-shirt.
I recommend taking a drive up the 5 so you can see over 200 miles of billboards for Andersen’s Split Pea soup before going to the Winchester Mystery House in San Jose.
But I’ve always wanted to go to New Orlean’s. French Creole, voodoo, ghosts and vampires, so much! I need to go!
I want to drive Route 66 and see all the crazy stuff along the way. I live in the middle of Texas so there’s not really a good way to do that…lol
I want to go to visit my sister and family in Los Altos, CA. I’d also like to go to Savannah, GA where I used to live. I’m glad you, Victor & Hailey had such an amazing trip!
I would totally go to Nova Scotia. I grew up in Western Canada, and now I live in Ontario, so I have almost made it from one ocean to the next. Plus, being a red-head, I will finally blend in better!!! And pick lobsters out of the water……………
Oh, oh, oh! I want to see the World’s Largest Prairie Dog in Kansas
and sit on the bench in Bonaventure Cemetery in Savannah, GA
I would point my car north or south and just GO..for however long $500 would take me, round trip..b/c I am sooooo needing to Get Outta Dodge for a little while right now..I am between jobs for the first time in eight years and haven’t traveled anywhere in as many years..I am overdue to roam a little bit..job searching is proving to be verrrrrrry tedious..and ESCAPE has been the craving lately..what a gift it would be to be able to wander a little right now..
I don’t know how awesome it is, but I am intrigued by this monastery in Oregon that displays the world’s largest pig hairball. If anything I just want to ask those wacky monks why they thought it was a good idea to keep that sucker instead of chucking it in the nearest trash can. Blech.
PS, props for calling out that ostrich for having #RestingTrumpFace. Nailed it!
My family loves random road trips. We just decide nothing is going on this weekend, get in the car, and go see what we find. Living near Seattle, there are so many directions we can/do go. My favorite pull over moment was during a long drive that seemed to never end on the way to the “4 corners” of the states touching. Saw a sign for dino foot prints and pulled over. Some natives showed us dino tracks, eggs and poop fossilized in the red rocks. Afterwords we drove some of the natives into town. They had asked, and it was fun. Never did anything hitch hiking related. I love the unexpected pull overs of road trips. 🙂 thanks for sharing yours!
I’d love for my little boy to be able to meet my family in person one of these days. We live far away from them all (in WI), and they all live in 5 different cities within 3 States (AL, FL, & TX) so it would take a fair amount of time and fuel to pull it off via road trip. Your family vacation gave me grins and I hope you all had as much fun as it looks. Thank you for sharing the laughs and this fun offer!
It would be great fun to visit the Black Hills in the Dakotas. I can only imagine what other interesting things we may find.
KRISTEN’S ROAD TRIP OF WEIRD THINGS IN WISCONSIN
Below is my dream one-week road trip I’ve been planning for months. I’d love to go in August this year. I would take my sister, who has been my partner-in-crime on road trips for the past 3 years. It sounds like a lot, but I promise we could do it! In 2014 we did a road trip to Nashville and managed to fit in a show at the Ryman Auditorium, drinks at the Opryland Hotel, visits to Cooters Dukes of Hazard Museum and the Willie Nelson Museum (both conveniently located in the same trip mall), shopping at Two Old Hippies and Boot Country, and food, OH SO MUCH FOOD—all in a three-day period (including driving time), and for about $500 a person (not including shopping!).
Disclosure #1: Many descriptions taken from one of my favorite website:
http://www.atlasobscura.com/things-to-do/wisconsin?page=1
Disclosure #2: I’ve been to one of these places already!
Promise #1: I will use some of my $500 to send you pictures. And possibly some cheese. And, of course, to buy sunscreen. We’re Scandinavian and burn easily….
Anyway, here’s the itinerary. I’ve provided short descriptions, websites, and addresses for anyone else who is interested:
START: CHICAGO
Lost City Forest
The arboretum whose marshy soil sucked up the dreams of housing developers.
https://arboretum.wisc.edu/
207 Seminole Highway
Madison, Wisconsin, 53711
Otis Redding Memorial Plaque
A bronze plaque marks the site of the only show the King of the Soul Singers ever missed. Edit. BECAUSE HIS PLANE CRASHED AND HE DIED ON THE WAY.
https://www.rebelmouse.com/vacationtips/otis-redding-memorial-plaque-in-madison-wisconsin-1175993429.html
1 John Nolen Dr
Madison, Wisconsin, 53703
House on the Rock
A bizarre house filled with an astounding array of collections.
http://www.houseontherock.com/
5754 State Road 23
Spring Green, Wisconsin, 53588
FAST Fiberglass Mold Graveyard
The molds of fiberglass statues make for eerie statues themselves.
http://www.fastkorp.com/
14177 County Highway Q
Sparta, Wisconsin, 54656
Deke Slayton Memorial Space & Bicycle Museum
Small-town museum dedicated to outer space … and bicycles.
http://www.dekeslaytonmuseum.org/
200 West Main Street
Sparta, Wisconsin, 54656
Paul Bunyan Logging Camp Museum
The titular fictional logger only inhabits this otherwise historically focused museum via a piece of fiberglass kitsch.
http://www.paulbunyancamp.org/
1110 Carson Park Dr
Eau Claire, Wisconsin, 54703
Moccasin Bar
Gambling, boozing, and yodeling animals cover the walls of this dive bar cum natural history museum.
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2245
15820 North 1st Street
Hayward, Wisconsin, 54843
Shrine to Anglers
Big fish. Including 143 feet of leaping muskie whose mouth can be used as a wedding venue.
http://www.freshwater-fishing.org/museum.html
10360 Hall of Fame Dr.
Hayward, Wisconsin, 54843
Apostle Island Sea Caves
These Great Lakes sea caves accessible by boat in the summer turn into temples of ice reachable by foot in the winter.
http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/apostle-island-sea-caves
La Pointe, Wisconsin, 54850
Jurustic Park
“Iron Age” creatures fill this huckster’s rusted metal sculpture garden.
http://www.jurustic.com/
M222 Sugar Bush Lane
Marshfield, Wisconsin, 54449
Al Johnson’s Swedish Restaurant
Restaurant in Northern Wisconsin comes with a unique feature: a grassy roof covered in living goats.
http://www.aljohnsons.com/
0698 N Bay Shore Dr
Al Johnson’s Swedish Restaurant
Sister Bay, Wisconsin, 54234
Rhinestone Cowboy House at the JMK Arts Center
A bedazzeld house and crown “jewel” of outsider artist Loy Allen Bowlin.
http://www.travelwisconsin.com/events/exhibits/rhinestone-cowboy-conservation-lab-100086
608 New York Avenue
Sheboygan, Wisconsin, 53081
The Bronze Fonz
Statue dedicated to the star of an old television show.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronze_Fonz
117 E. Wells St.
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, 53202
Mars Cheese Castle
Wisconsin’s most celebrated export gets the royal treatment on I-94. Edit. Must. End. Road. Trip. With. My. Weight. In. Cheese.
http://www.marscheese.com/index.html?COREseourl=/
2800 West Frontage Road
Kenosha, Wisconsin, 53144
END: CHICAGO
Miles: ~1,200
Honestly there’s a lot of places I’d like to visit and things I’d like to see. Tennessee, Maryland, Michigan and California are just a few. There are places in those states that I’d like to travel to and old friends I’d like to see again and much more. But more than anything I’d like to go to Missouri to see my boyfriend. I know it’s not some “awesome” or “amazing” travel destination but it’ll be amazing for us to see each other again and do cool stuff while I’m there with him. I live in South Carolina and it’s a 12 hour drive to see him we currently can’t meet again for at least two months, more likely three or four. It’s a long drive and there’s gas money and taking time off work and expenses on the way there and when I get there and such so it makes seeing each other complicated. That’s how long distance relationships are. We’d actually both like to travel together one day and visit places but right now we’d just like to travel to see each other. He’s come down to South Carolina to see me but I haven’t been able to make it to Missouri yet to see him. But hopefully I’m be able to go to Missouri this summer and I wanna go to dinner with him and go to an aquarium and see movies and even go to simple little places like bookstores and parks and anything really. Any place with him sounds amazing to me.
I want to visit the Penis Museum in Iceland. It is a real place. I made a facebook fanpage for it, and they have finally made their own official fb page. 🙂
My family is going to Morocco this summer. We plan to do a Sahara excursion. So, get this… my family of four is going to the Sahara. In July. For reals….We NEED some good ass sunscreen. PS. My husband is Irish. Bam!
After seeing your photos and others’ photos of the Grand Canyon I have resolved that it will be my next big bucket list trip. Because BEAUTIFUL!!! Also, I’ve discovered there’s a place called Bearizona somewhere not too far outside of Flagstaff, so that’s definitely on the list for when I make it to Arizona as well. Not exactly a “weird” destination but being an animal person, I kinda just wanna go, and perhaps see how hard it is to smuggle a bear cub out of the place… Kidding. Maybe.
My family lives in New York, and I’ve been in California for five years, so my dream road trip would start there. Then we’d drive west, passing through Ohio at some point, because I’ve never been to the town where my parents first met (in a library in Columbus, OH). I love books and I love my parents, and somehow I just feel a weird pull to that place.
Plus, Ohio is also home to the Crystal Cave, which is actually the world’s largest geode – so you’re INSIDE a magical sparkly rock, where you can get totally drunk and it’s fine, because it’s located on a winery. Yes please.
And if there’s time, I’d stop in Cincinnati, to see the Hanging Garden (a.k.a. the dopest tree ever: http://globaltreeproject.org/hanging_garden.html).
And then continuing west from Ohio, we’d head for Chicago, reliving the amazing city where I spent my entire childhood and haven’t been to since age 13. And I’d see my childhood bestie for the first time in two or three years because she’s been too busy falling in love in Germany. There you have it, the perfect ending to my ridiculous dream roadtrip.
Well I think the Port Townsend Marine Science Center in WA would be crazy fun. I could see how they clean bones for scientific collections & articulating the creature back together. Or, the Sam Adams Brewery in Boston. I’ve wanted to climb inside one of the vats of used hops and squish them between my toes. I can imagine what that would sound like and my toes would love it!!! Or the nearest crazy cat lady to see if she has more felines than me.
I want to take a road trip to see Crater Lake. I’ve lived in Oregon my whole life. WTF? And I have the skin of a redhead, so totes need to get me some sunscreen. I’ve also heard there’s a place on the way to Crater Lake where you cane see, but not touch, sloths. We’ll see about that. I mean they’re sloths…it’s not like they can dart away when I try to touch them.
I am 38 years old and have never been on a plane. I’ve never even picked up or dropped off someone at an airport. (I guess I should be thankful for that.) And while I am somewhat envious of people’s vacation pics on Facebook and Instagram, I’m not really a resort or beach person. (Read – bathing suits and I do not get along.) So, if I had the time and money, I would visit my friend in Baton Rouge. We’ve only met IRL twice when she had the opportunity to travel north. But we keep in touch via Facebook, e-mail and text. She’s afraid of snow and has twin toddler boys. So visiting me in Ontario would be diffucult. (No lie, it snowed last weekend.) I’d like to go to her, see a small patch of “The South” and be told repeatedly that I have a funny accent.
Cool trip. Wish I could enter the competition but I’m in Australia. We also have a big meteor crater here. Maybe you’ve heard of it “Wolf Creek”. Great post & loved reading it.
My mom wants to go to New Orleans (which she keeps calling Baton Rouge because she is lost) and just wander the city. I want to go caving in Kentucky, although I will cry once I get there and have do do stairs. (I did Devil’s Millhopper and wanted to jump in the sinkhole to avoid having to climb back up.) Maybe also get some KY bourbon (not to be confused with K.Y. Jelly) and generally just be weird with my mom.
I have lived in Arizona over 30 years and have never seen those things. I would love a chance to take my family on that road trip.
I’m glad you are ok, it’s been a while since you posted and I thought you might be going through a bout of depression. I would want to go to Coeur d’alene, Idaho. Sometimes when I’m going through a depression spell I have to literally force myself to crawl outside just so my body can be in the sun bc it helps. Given that this post is about sunscreen, the place in Idaho is sunny and you don’t need to force yourself outside bc it’s stunningly beautiful, and I love the smell of all sunscreens so win win
I want to go anywhere that isn’t here! I’m thinking New orleans – beignet in the morning, boozy party all night. Fresh seafood in between. What can go wrong?
On my next road trip, I want to go down to this small town in southern Louisiana in Iberia Parrish. There’s a place down there that supplies specimens for school science projects, things like grasshoppers and earthworms and all manner of things that make most people go “ew.” I saw it once on a tv show and knew that I wanted to use it as a setting for a novel. I would like nothing better than to spend a few days exploring the sights and mingling with the locals. Hopefully, I can sop up all the fragrant, delicious ambiance and then pour it all back out onto the page once the story simmers down just right.
I’d like to see the original Kermit the Frog (at the Smithsonian, I hear) AND I totes want to visit the Egyptian museum in Cairo. Some day I am pretty sure I will get to see Kermie, but Egypt is totally not happening until they stop blowing pieces off of it, so maybe never. Sigh…
My husband and I visited the world’s largest ball of twine in Kansas for our honeymoon weekend, and I totally thought of you and your photos of celebrities holding twine! (Side note: It isn’t as large as you’d expect and was covered in bird poop. Also very itchy to hug, but with a comforting twine-y smell.) For our next adventure, I would like to revisit Rock City in Chattanooga, Tennessee. I remember that there were beautiful gardens, a waterfall, rock formations, and a tunnel/cave with glittery walls and twinkle lights and garden gnomes EVERYWHERE!!! There was also a spot on “lookout mountain” nearby where supposedly you can see 7 states, but when I went years ago it was foggy. I would love the opportunity to see the famous view for real this time. Also to introduce my husband to the gnomes and maybe adopt one or twelve. Of course we would use plenty of Blue Lizard because he is a ginger, after all, and since we would be on top of a mountain, we would be substantially closer to the sun.
“…and the jail where Billy the Kid shot his way out”
ZOMG IN LAW SCHOOL I TOTALLY WENT HERE WITH MY DAD. I SAT IN JUDGE’S CHAIR. OUR SHIPS HAVE CROSSED IN THE NIGHT – or, well, like metaphorically, you know? Becuase it HAS been like 9 or 10 years. So OUR SHIPS CROSSED IN THE DECADE-LONG NIGHT!
I want to take a solo road trip like Alicia Silverstone in an Aerosmith video. Just me, my bag and my car. I’m a married, 36 year old working mom of two, so trust me this sounds cooler in my head than on paper. No itinerary or set destination needed. I’ll tell my husband where I’m going though.
I recently moved south from New England and now that I am in driving distance I want to go on a ghost tour of Gettysburg. You know, one of those night ones where you can spend the night near (on?) part of a section of battlefield and supposedly hear and/or see ghosts. I guess this isn’t a great answer because who needs sunscreen around GHOSTS, unless that stuff Slimer spit out at Venkman leaves burns, in which case Bactine would be getter. Can I get some Bactine just in case?
Antway, that is where I’d like to go.
I’d like to visit a national park during the open season. My one attempt at Glacier National was cut short as going to the sun road was closed due to snow. We didn’t even get to see the sun. Someday…
I’m trying to plan my 40th (omg) birthday trip for my family. Arizona is my favorite place from my childhood vacations. Sedona, the vortices, and the beautiful hiking and red rocks, the Grand Canyon and a little Scottsdale heat! I want my husband and daughter to experience the best memories from my childhood. I will cry if we get to Arizona with all the happy tears!
I’d like to visit Yellowstone or something else big and forest-y.
You know you have lived life correctly when you have visited 90% of the “weird” attractions in your state. Even better is when you stumble across places like Stonehenge II an Easter Island while geocaching.
I would assume now it is time to start visiting the normal attractions in Texas….
In a few years I’m hoping to walk across the country, coast to coast to celebrate by little girls 10 year off treatment/leukemia survivor anniversary, but for now I’d love to road trip to California. I’ve never been and have a long list of things I’d want to see there and along the way.
I would love to go visit my friend in Austrailia and watch her sons perform in a musical (they are really talented from what I can see on facebook). Also, and perhaps more realistically at this point, I would love to visit Antelope canyon in Arizona – it looks amazing!
Someone posted a lovel review in the comments and now I need to try that sunscreen! Over Spring Break, I dragged ( not literally) my boys on an 1,100 mile road trip and I’m ready to do it again soon. But I think the next one will involve more sun and less meth and moonshine (long story…).
We are going on a road trip in June!
We live pretty far away from the rest of our families, but strangely (or not so strangely) we have a lot of family and friends that live on or near Route 66. We’d love to road trip it with our son, and surprise some of our friends/relatives along the way (maybe ‘surprise’ is the wrong word, particularly when thinking of my much-older relatives!). Some have only seen our son once, as an infant, and others have never met him.
Would love to do a drive around Lake Michigan. We’ve never been up there and the pictures look fabulous. Could also go back to Colorado. There’s so much to see and do.
I love weird road trips! Last year on our family vacation we ended up stopping at the “Walmart of Rocks” and it was pretty amazing. Also, is that dinosaur in the last picture on of the dinosaurs in PeeWee’s Big Adventure? Because if it is, I am totally jealous>
I would love to do a ghost hunting trip. I think it would be interesting to tour an abandoned mental hospital or something along those lines.
I want to travel someplace where my three boyss will refrain from fighting during the planning, traveling, event going, and/or hotel staying. Since that is unlikely to happen, maybe we could just see something cool enough to shut them up for a little while. I love my boys, but the noise and the smells are sometimes too much!
We are temporarily in New England & there are so many things I went to check out! Facebook just showed me an ad for a dinosaur park in Connecticut where I am fairly certain the Dinos are not actually alive. I haven’t decided yet if this place would thrill or terrify my toddler.
We do family road trips every summer, but ours are usually less haunted and more “if you don’t shut up I will strap you to the roof”
My kids want the chance to see wolves in the wild so I guess we’d go to Yellowstone, but on the way we’d stop at the Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota. I’m in Wisconsin so it’s on the way.
Me: Have you ever been to Austin?
Husband: No
Me: Do you want to go to Austin? Like, this weekend?
Husband: …What restaurant did you find?
Me: ITS NOT A RESTAURANT. Maybe it’s baseball.
Husband: There’s no baseball in Austin.
…
(It’s biscuits)
There’s a food truck with dozens of kinds of biscuits. Including a vegan kind because I’m one of those people. So yes, Austin is now on my list of places I need to go… because biscuits.
Oh My Bloggess! My parents just sent me a picture from the big nut! Did you see a pair of Sr. Citizens, one quite tall and one quite short? Possibly carrying an ill-tempered Pomeranian? There would have been a somewhat derelict RV nearby? Small world! (large holes, though)
My “let’s do this” trip would be to visit Voodoo Doughnut, which I read about in a magazine years ago. It’s in Portland, half-a-continent away, and this may seem like a ridiculous length to go for a doughnut, but I gather that doughnut would have Cap’n Crunch on it. So totally worth it.
Plus! I’ve never been on a train trip. And I’ve never seen The West. I figure the best way to see The West without getting any of it on me is out the window of train. Hopefully, from my very own sleeping carriage. With a butler.
Train from Iowa to Oregon, in the car from the Wild Wild West (Will Smith version), if possible. Then doughnuts. Also maybe a wedding, because this doughnut shop isn’t just about the voodoo but also lifelong commitments.
I suppose it doesn’t really count because I’ve been there a million times, but the biggest cow in America is in New Salem, ND (yes, just one Salem wasn’t enough), her name is Salem Sue and she is awesome. Totally worth the trip. I’d post a picture if I knew how. I can just barely touch her udders, which are all veiny and realistic. My husband thought they were gross.
Oh! Update, because I have managed to get my husband and kids to see Salem Sue and we don’t need to go again for at least another year, I NEED them to come see the Corn Palace in Mitchell, SD with me! My hubs doesn’t believe me that it exists…
visitmitchell.com/attractions-posts/worlds-only-corn-palace/
I’d love to go to Havasupai! Or to visit my family in Virginia and go see all the natural bridges. Plharding@outlook
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I’d like to visit the Grand Canyon with my husband and kids. My husband was recently diagnosed with a serious chronic illness, and he’s been struggling with the prognosis, the treatments, and feeling like a patient. I think there’s something to be gained from visiting a place that’s also described in overwhelming, enormous terms and being able to say ‘it’s just a hole in the ground.’ An exceptionally beautiful hole in the ground.
For the record, I’ve visited the Grand Canyon once before, on the last big family trip my parents, sister, and I took together. That trip also included a wedding mix-up between “Bud Brown’s Barn” and “Big Bertha’s Buns,” so there’s always the possibility for weirdness.
I want to do that exact trip. With you.
Whew, lots of scrolling to get down here!
Honestly, I’d love to go anywhere. Antelope Canyon looks really cool. I’ve only gone North and South-it would be fun to travel Westward.
My brothers and I want to go to the dilapidated Wizard of Oz theme park in North Carolina. Walk the crumbling yellow brick road and watch out for flying monkeys.
What i want to do is go visit all the weird and strange things, from Alabama to Canada. And when I get to Canada I really want to see a moose.
I would love to road trip from Seattle to Victoria and on to Tofino. They have the most beautiful beaches and surfing!
I have a great desire to go to Newfoundland. They have towns named Dildo and Spread Eagle, a half hour time zone, Newfoundland ponies (tiny), Newfoundland dogs (huge, about the same size as the ponies), and a strong tradition of Irish seafaring music.
I’d really love a chance to see Scotland and explore all the castles and heather and peaty stuff. It’s closer than usual, seeing as we are currently living in Germany, but far enough in that it never quite makes the list when I ask “What should we do this weekend?” I know you don’t usually need sunblock in Scotland but with climate change its probably not a bad idea.
We’re road tripping for our honeymoon in September to Pigeon Forge, TN and it looks like there’s a ton of weird shit to do around there, including a Salt and Pepper Shaker Museum (why?), a Titanic-themed attraction, a Pioneer statue in an abandoned mini golf course who has been turned into a pirate, a mini-golf course with dinosaurs, sharks, and octopi, and a themed gift shop with goats on its roof (Obviously called Goats on the Roof). I NEED TO SEE FUCKING ROOF GOATS OKAY?
This made me very happy to see you get pretty close to where I’m at on my current road trip. (About 60 miles West of Antelope Canyon as I write this.)
Tip: Kanab, UT has a bunch of canyons like Antelope near by. And Zion National Park, Bryce, and the North Rim are nearby for National Parks. Lived here for a decade and didn’t get to explore everything.
Next year, my wife and I are planning on a grand tour of the US road trip. I definitely think the Giant Pistachio nut will have to be on the list, but the Florida Keys are also on the list for the more touristy items.
I used to live in El Paso and travel to Phoenix all the time… never stopped at The Thing (the ex-hubs wouldn’t let me… there’s a reason he’s ex, right?! HAHA)… we did go to White Sands Monument– which is a bit of a misnomer, huh?! how are moving dunes a “monument”… but whatevs… HAHA would love to go see a bunch of the stuff you did out West (just have to GET out west again :-/ )
I have a kid who’d like to see that big hole. You know, the one in the ground.
Colorado. I want to see the Rockies. Granted, I’m in the same boat as you – it’d be quite a drive just getting out of TX in that direction – but I’d still really really like to see them.
We have driven across British Columbia and all through Alberta and around Nova Scotia (yes, we live in the US) but I would love to drive across Canada on the Trans Canada highway. And then take the train back the other direction.Then we could see more things like the dinosaur museum in Alberta and the various hot springs in British Columbia.
My folks love to roadtrip across the country. They found the Corn Palace in Nebraska, but the awesomest place they found that I want to see is the Cosmosphere. I think it’s in Nebraska too; I’m not certain. It’s been a few years. Love your trip review. Road trips are often the best.
I’d like to see Mount Rushmore before President Trump is added to it.
I want to see the giant redwoods in Northern California. The ones you can drive a car through!
I think our next roadtrip is going to be to Branson (in my state, but still far from here) so we can hillbilly it up right before my kid graduates high school!
This winter we fully plan on going on the WizardCon cruise (because Chris Hemsworth, y’all)…which I will definitely need sunscreen for even if we’re on a boat because Bahamas!
I want to road trip to this really bizarre and mostly abandoned Wizard of Oz attraction in the NC mountains that was built back in the 80s. It is super weird and slightly creepy and CRAZY AWESOME!!! I look forward to it haunting my dreams!
A road trip to the east coast, for SURE! I’d love to visit Newfoundland. My kids would lose their minds.
It’s a good thing I read this first thing in the morning. Otherwise I might have goat and ostrich nightmares. I have already seen THE THING, and phallic rock. I won’t spoil it, but you KNOW people are going to Google it. Speaking of water toilet, I’m not sure which is worse – drinking from the toilet, or a cup of coffee that comes out smelling like cat pee. Since I’ve never had toilet water, I’ll assume that’s much worse. I’m having a bad morning because my first cup of coffee went poorly. I wouldn’t mind a road trip to Las Vegas though.
OK, Hailey. This is the Magic Carpet Ride with a Mom the rest (most) of us could only wish for at our birthdays with the one blow candle promise.
Hang on tight, Lucky Girl, Your Mom’s got this and it’s going to be spectacular!
My 3 kids were born in Colorado and we now live in Iowa but my husband and I, and our families, were born and raised on the east coast. We’ve long talked about piling into an RV in Maine and driving down the coast stopping at all the places we spent time in growing up during the summer. We’ve slowly been saving up but kids are expensive! 😉 Hopefully one day we can share all the places and memories and family history with them. Also if we run into giant hands or nuts along the way, all the better! 🙂
This was hilarious. We never get to go on vacation, so it would be a perfect thing for us. Like a second honeymoon, except with 4 kids. I’m actually not sure that’s a vacation, but life on wheels, but you know, it would sure be a lot nicer if it had free gas money. We’d probably go to see something fantastic and just have a great time along the way!
I laughed which is normal when reading what you write, its like you’re saying whats inside my head..Kinda creepy and totally awesome!!!!!!! I want to just drive, anywhere, every where on that 500 gift card. I will find crazy stuff on back roads east of the Mississippi and send u pics.
I want to share even though I’m from Canada and don’t qualify for the prize! I want to get in our old camper van and start driving, without a map or a GPS or a destination or purpose. I want to go where the road takes me, staying as long as I like where I like. My husband could come along if he promises not to cheat, but I don’t trust him on this. He’d have hidden little electronic devices in places he’d think I wouldn’t think to look. But I would, and then I’d have to be angry, and dump him at a gas station somewhere. Note to Blue Lizzard: I live near the border and so it’s extremely likely that I will head south and into the US of A. Wait just a doggone minute….aren’t you Australian?? Whaddaya got against us Canadians?? We’re more like you than the Americans are!! Why CAN’T we be in the contest?? (Eh?)
We did a similar trip a couple of years ago from Massachusetts to Denver and back. We found ourselves at the world’s biggest ball of twine, the biggest wind chimes, the start of the biggest rocking chair, A life sized Mater (from “Cars”) and carhenge (stone henge with cars). Apparently people in the Midwest have a lot of time on their hands, but it really was the Best. Trip. Ever.
I think I need to roadtrip to Marfa, Texas just so I can piss my boyfriend off that we drove thousands of miles to see a random Prada store that doesn’t even sell any goods. I’m sure he’ll appreciate it and I won’t care but damnit everyone else has their facebook photo in front of Prada Marfa and I just want to be one of the cool kids…. is that a crime?
I’ve always dreamed of visiting Prince Edward Island with my mother. Now I have three daughters who are also Anne fans and they want to go, too. So, a trip to see Green Gables. That’s what I’d like.
I want to take a trip and visit all the abandoned prisons… At least in the U.S. The bonus part about it would be I could put my kids in one of the cells and tell them this is where they will live if they decide to stop getting straight A’s and turn to a life of crime. It will be my own version of scared straight… I’ll call it “Your 9 not a thug.” Also I need sunscreen because my kids are half Hispanics but I’m not and I’d like to leave my sun hat and long sleeve sun shirt behind on this trip.
I’d love to take a vacation without smoldering down to a pile of goddam ashes because I’m allergic to the sun. Heading to FL next month, where I will huddle under an umbrella, sweltering in a long-sleeved swim-shirt, giant hat, sunglasses, and slug-slick with 9 lbs. of sunscreen on. I’d love for it to be Blue Lizard, which my derm recommended, but which I cannot find in stores. Also hope to see another armadillo – saw one last time I was in FL and chased it across the parking lot of an outlet mall to get a picture while my husband yelled that it would give me leprosy, which is apparently a real thing that can happen. Anyway, we might go to Harry Potterland while we’re down there. Yay!
we’re moving from GA to MN this summer. Our kid and I want to see weird stuff on the way up. My husband is less excited about weird stuff because he’s like, “I want to get up there in a reasonable amount of time” or whatever. If I get Blue Lizard money I bet that’s an automatic win for weirdness. Here is one thing I want to see: Elf Door. http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/elf-door-at-demings-height-park.
Not interested in a sponsored road trip – we do plenty on our own and I’d feel weird having someone else pay for it. But I did want to shout out for Blue Lizard Sensitive 30 SPF. No fragrances, no dyes, which means…. NO HIVES. It also doesn’t clog my pores. And unlike a lot of other “dermatologist friendly” stuff out there, this stuff will last through an active day. I slather it on for a day of scuba diving (those surface intervals on a boat are just a recipe for sunburn disaster), motorcycle riding (even with full leathers on, I have gotten sunburn on a stripe around my wrist between glove and jacket and back of the neck), hiking, or whatever it is I am going to do outdoors. That stuff really works. It’s hard to find around here, so I buy literally a dozen bottles at a time when I do find it. I have a bottle of the stuff stashed everywhere. Since I am – let’s be kind and call it “alabaster” – I burn so very easily.
Oh! I’ve actually done a large portion of this road trip as part of a geological field study. I had to give presentation about the meteor crater the wind was so strong we almost got blown away. We didn’t see any interesting pistachios though.
Dinosaur World! And also Mammoth Caves but seriously, Dinosaur World. http://dinosaurworld.com/kentucky/
I want to travel the entire length of Route 11–it runs between the Canada/US border and the Gulf of Mexico. As a pale person with tattoos, I use sunscreen all the time, and I love Bullfrog sunscreen best. For this road trip, I’d be willing to try Blue Lizard, though.
I would like to visit “Holy Land”…not “the” Holy Land, which wouldn’t be weird at all, but the remains of a THEME PARK that was called Holy Land , which is on the way to Rhode Island…the fact that there was a Jesus themed theme park might not be weird enough, but the fact that the sign is there IN THE SKY as you’re driving and the park is closed but you can still check it out makes it super weird…oh, and any ghost tours along the way would definitely be worth taking!
I would take a road trip to Niagra Falls! I have driven across the Southern & Heartland parts of he US but not the Noetheast, so it would be nice to drive up that way and then see a bunch of water. It’ll be like the opposite of your trip- no holes and lots of humidity/water instead of deserts.
We are heading to Sedona AZ in June so I just might have to go and see the flaccid penis Victor made you skip!
A few years ago I was planning a trip out west and came across the Devil’s Rope Museum in MacLean, Texas, which is a museum about barbed wire. I didn’t end up getting to go, and I just discovered that America has a SECOND barbed wire museum (what a great country we live in!) in LaCrosse, Kansas. So clearly a roadtrip between the two is in order. With commemorative souvenir barbed wire.
We are always doing road trips. I love giant pistachios! And I definitely want to go see those zombie hands. Where do I want to go next? I don’t know – everywhere! This was the best travel blog ever! Please do more sponsored posts so you can go on more travels.
My fiance and I want to take a road trip to Maine and Cadillac Mountain or whatever it is that when the sun rises it’s the first spot in the continental US that gets the sunshine.
I have been wanting to do a very similar trip for a very long time…just driving from one weird roadside attraction to the next, taking time to do some geocaching on the way. I’d love to do it before my son gets to the angst-filled age where he won’t even speak to me in another person’s presence (and it’s already starting to rear it’s ugly 13-almost-14-year-old-moooom-you’re-so-embarrassing head).
There’s a website called http://www.roadsideamerica.com that you can peruse and make a list of all the ones you want to visit along your route. Sorry if it’s been mentioned before, I haven’t had a chance to read all 1200+ comments just yet, lol.
Thanks, Jenny, for the photos and the play-by-play of your trip! I’m glad you were able to get out and enjoy some time with your family. You are my kind of weird!
We are going on a road trip next month to the west coast. Seattle Washington down through San Francisco. I really want to go hiking in the Redwood forest, but my real, true love of road trips are campy road side pit stops. I’ve seen “big foot” at the Hole in the Wall road stop in Arizona. I’ve seen “Car Hinge” in Nebraska (which is stone Hinge, but with old cars instead). We stopped at a scary petting zoo and paid too much to feed the animals.
I’m fairly certain I was a dog in a former life. And I hope to be one in the next one, too. Lots of behind the ear scratching and unconditional love. That said, I plan to start the transition sooner than the death bed and thus, when asked about my retirement plans I always talk about living on a dog farm. Not the kind where they farm or breed dogs. But the kind where dogs get to live out their days with their bellies to the sky, rolling around grassy knolls and making people laugh with their fur-smiles. I’d like to road trip down to Dancing Creek Farms, a “long-term country dog resort” (how amazing does that sound!?), down in Cascade, Virginia. I would roll through the Ohio Valley to get there, dance on a creek there in Virginia, then continue on up into West Virginia, to the Green Briar spa in White Sulpher Springs — because I love the smell of sulpher in my spa treatments and they have an old 50s-built bunker below the resort that I would love to tour (I need some inspiration for the disaster kit I’m still trying to get around to creating). From there I would try and find a couple of places for bourbon in Kentucky and maybe do some off-roading in my Jeep with the moon roof open (when sobered and sun-screened up), wherever I feel like it, cause that’s what you do in Kentucky (or so I imagine).
Your trip was awesomely weird!
My most memorable dysfunctional family trip involved best-laid plans to a most beautiful mountaintop cabin, but resulted in my mother in law crying whenever we had to make the death-defying, 2WD van run up the no-guardrail, hairpin turn gravel driveway to the cabin, a frequently tantruming & overtired 5 year old, a loud, and rude, refusal of said 5 year old to eat lobster which had been FLOWN and DELIVERED LIVE, INTO A CABIN IN THE MOUNTAINS by the awesome family whose turn it was to make the group dinner, a refusal of said 5 year old to PUT ON HIS PANTS OR UNDERWEAR following bathtime. Apparently butt-naked friends are the best friends! Capped off our trip by multiple stings of our children by motherfing BEES, who flew through a crowd of probably 30 people at a stable and stung only my kids, no one else – one flew under my son’s shirt and stung him all over his back and chest. My husband is convinced I was the reason for this because my kids were slicked in (non blue lizard-brand) sunscreen…which apparently has the added benefit of rendering you a highly attractive bee-target while outdoors? The number and severity of stings (my son’s one finger was swollen to twice its size and he could not bend it, and he had huge welts on his chest & back where stung) necessitated a trip to the local ER. Asked for a med center, but apparently ER is how we do it in the mountains, mama. Administration of massive benedryl dosages & steroids to make sure said kids did not swell into Willy Wonka-style blimps overnight in the goddamn mountaintop cabin delayed our return up the Driveway of Death just long enough so we could make that run while it was DARK AND RAINING. Yahoo!!! The presence of dear friends to watch our family’s gradual decline into Survivor: Smoky Mountain edition only made it that much more memorable!
The vacation that keeps on giving gifted us with a final kick in the teeth weeks later: $800 bill for out of network ER care – you should’ve been seen at a med center. (!!!!!!)
It’s amazing we ever travelled with the kids after that. It’s 6 years ago and I still have vacation PTSD.
I’ve always wanted to go to Gloucestershire England for their annual cheese rolling festival where they take big ass wheels of cheese and push them down a giant hill and then proceed to chase after them because it’s one of those things that’s so ridiculous that I need to see it in person.
My ideal road trip is to start in San Diego, CA and drive up the coast to Canada while slathering on Blue Lizard Sunscreen while driving my rented hybrid car with my sister stopping at ALL yarn and quilt fabric shops and any chocolate shops we can find. Because we’ve driven in New Mexico (I highly reccomend Canyon de Chelly and Chaco Canyon)
Graceland. Graceland. Memphis, Tennessee. DYING to go to Memphis.
Love your pix! And your books!
I would like to take my family to Lazy-J Longhorns in Greenleaf KS. It’s my cousin’s farm and his steer, Bluegrass, made it in the 2016 Guiness Book of World Records for having the longest horns, tip to tip.
We are in California so it’s 3 days out and 3 days back with so many possible stops along the way. My 9-year old son has severe anxiety disorder and usually doesn’t even like to leave the house but he says he wants to go to Kansas and see Bluegrass.
I haven’t been to the beach in ages, but honestly a road trip to the grocery store sounds good right now.
I desperately need to go to Birmingham to see the giant Vulcan statue with bare buttocks! And, it is sunny and hot there!
I’d love to see Yellowstone National Park before the giant caldera explodes and destroys the world as we know it.
My significant other and I have a camping/road trip planned for July. We are still scrimping and saving so we are able to make the trip. We are excited; I think I am more excited because for the last 2 months I have been working double shifts at work to make it affordable. I really need the break, I work as a DSP for a group home which can be exhausting. The extra funds would be really appreciated!
Ahhh…the awesomeness of the weirdo road trip! Well done! My husband and I decided to visit the states in reverse order of statehood (because we ended up going to Hawaii one year and Alaska the next and decided we needed to continue because ocd) and we always try to incorporate some weirdoness in our travels. Next up is Oklahoma, which means visiting the World’s Largest Concrete Totem Pole, of course. it sits on top of a blue turtle, which for karma’s sake is pretty darn close to a blue lizard, right?
I’ve always wanted to travel around the United States. I’m a librarian and a sci-fi nerd from Dallas. My first stop would be Kentucky’s Dinosaur World, where you can stroll through the park next to life-size replicas of a T-Rex and Long Neck-sauruses. I would then fly to Maine to visit the International Cryptozoology museum. They have cryptid specimens: yetis, Bigfoot, sea serpents [totally real] and other unknown animals. I would then drive to New Jersey to see Lucy the Elephant. She’s `134 years old, and 65 feet made of tin and wood. You can even go inside her through a spiral staircase since they made a museum out of her insides. True Story.
I would love to go to visit my BFF who moved 22 hours away.
i have always wanted to drive up the east coast from florida to maine. alone. which seems like a good way to get killed, especially as a woman. however, i recently quit drinking so i feel like i am making far less decisions in which i end up potentially dead so i am trying to be less boring. in all my daydreams of this trip, i see myself watching a sunrise on the beach in a flowy short dress and jean jacket for some reason. unrealistic, since i definitely cannot pull off that look. but a girl can dream.
I would love to do a roadtrip to the Upper Peninsula in Michigan and see Pictured Rocks National Park. I have no idea if they have giant roadside attractions up there but I will immediately start researching!
Awesome road trip Jenny, Some of those places look so interesting. I was recently at Antelope Canyon which is one of the most amazing slot canyons I’ve ever seen. Its very hot in that area so sunscreen is helpful as is drinking lots of water but obviously not toilet water, By the way, its good luck to be attacked by an Ostrich – at least in my reality it is.
Best road trip saga ever.
I can’t make it to my sister’s high school graduation, so I promised her that this summer, I’ll take her wherever she wants to go! Could be camping or roller coasters – but I’d like to find some sweet-ass things worthy of photographing!
I would love taking my youngest daughter (12 and with Autism) on an actual family vacation and drive the old route 66 and see all the quirly and iconic sights along such a cool, weird and historical route!
Oh wow, I know EXACTLY where I’d go with a $500 gift card. I’d be taking my son on an African safari (The Wilds) in Ohio – Lions and Tigers and Buckeyes (?!), oh my! My son has been dying to go ever since we heard about it at a Jack Hanna show!
I would love to go to Yellowstone!!
This is amazing. This is also how the Picchi family does road trips. Some weird sign on the side of the road? I’m interested! When asked, “What would you do if you won the lotto?” My sister in law said, “Go see the Corn Palace.” So I’m guessing winning $500 from Blue Lizzard is just like winning the lotto and if I won, Lisa and I are totally seeing the Corn Palace.
Pick me, pick MEEEE! I want to go to this 1970s, now defunct, Wizard of Oz theme park! This summer they’re opening for a few days and do tours through this creepy, magical place! http://mentalfloss.com/article/80147/abandoned-wizard-oz-theme-park-offer-guided-tours
Well, your exploits lead me to peruse the roadside attractions here in my current home state of Georgia. Hard to compete because being in the South, just about everything is a roadside attraction, as we’re endlessly nosy and easily amused.
But that sound you just heard was a gauntlet being thrown down. I present as a challenge:
The Little Grand Canyon in Lumpkin, GA…1/30 the depth of the one you saw, so no mules required to scale its depths, just a lot of faith in your footwear choice;
Rock City in Lookout, GA…an underground maze of twisted fairy tales, wobbly reality, and garden gnomes who are clearly up to no good, all luridly painted in neon glow paint, and posed in threatening and often suggestive manners;
World’s Largest Peanut in Ashburn, GA…many have tried to usurp the title, but this mighty goober keeps pipping them at the post with its legumed magnificence; and
The Panoramic Encyclopedia Of Elvis in Cornelia, GA…along with all things Elvis, you may view a wart sliced off the King himself and reverently preserved in a bottle for your perusal and spiritual enlightenment.
Don’t say we never gave the world anything.
Do they have a Chik Fil A at the grand canyon? If not, I’d rather see those tar pit thingies in California.
While planning my road trip to Montana for later this summer, I stumbled across this gem – http://www.leilashairmuseum.net/. F*ck Glacier National Park, guys. My whole trip is now centered around hair.
I would go to San Diego zoo to see the worlds best Hippo exhibit. I want to hug a hippo, but no one seems to think it’s a good idea. Therefore, a glass barrier is best so I don’t get myself in trouble.
I have been to so many cool places already, but none as cool as where you have been. I would love to see the midwest. People poke fun at it, but I know there has GOT to be something there worth visiting!
I want to do a road trip to visit all of the places in American Gods, that would be amazing!
I’m not too terribly exciting but I would love to go to Utah and explore the beauty of that state!
I would like to see anything, anywhere because I haven’t been on vacation in 16 years.
I know this is so typical and boring but Yellowstone is on my bucket list!
I would like to go to Ketchum, Idaho b/c my last name is Ketchum and I think if people there knew that, they’d make me their queen.
Right off hand, the only place I can think about going would be georgia’s zoo and aquarium. Totally plain, but, mostly I wanted to say I love all the pictures you took on the trip. They’re gorgeous and awesome!
I want to go to the Alamo. So I can go all Pee-Wee Herman and ask to see the basement and get eye rolls from EVERYONE and when someone calls me a name I can yell back “I KNOW YOU ARE BUT WHAT AM I????”
The oddest thing we every visited (which you would probably love) was the Pirate cave and Mini-zoo on Grand Cayman. I believe they also sold condoms – like advertised boldly on the road-side sign – just in case!
I would love to see Colleen Moore’s Fairytale Castle in the Chicago Museum of Science and Industry. Thanks for sharing your inspiring vacation with us!
I want to drive up the coast with my wife to go see the Prehistoric Gardens. 23 LIFE SIZE DINOSAURS in a forest in Oregon. How cool would that be???? Cross one off the bucket list! And in addition to the dino’s there’s cheese all the way the Avenue of the Giants in the Redwoods, including The Trees of Mystery! I can hardly wait!
I have grown up in so many places that you visited. Thanks for the world wind memory tour. It’s so good to find somebody else who sees it through very similar eyes that I have.
Ahhh…my weird, beautiful state Arizona. Home of the Grand Canyon and Jan Brewer. Home of Tombstone and Colorado City. Home of The Goo Goo Dolls and Jodi Arias. I love this place. And I love that you’ve been to several of my favorite places.
That being said, I’d love to go to Arkansas.
Yeah, I said it. Arkansas.
Because I have no reason to ever go there, but if I don’t, I’ll never check that state off my bucket list.
I’ve managed to visit most of the states around it, and yet completely avoid it.
I’m sure there is something worth going to in Arkansas. I just have no idea WHAT. So I’d like to go find out. And then I’ll be sure to tell everyone else why they should (or shouldn’t) go.
Grand Canyon, which I never wanted to see before but after being enthralled by the geothermal stuff at Yellowstone last summer, I think the Grand Canyon is also likely way more exciting than I have been giving it credit for.
OMG! I so want a wacky crazy stop at stupid shit road trip! I have two teen boys who would LOVE to pick those kinds of stops! I want to take selfies and make memories with my 13 & 15 year olds… before they get ANY older and start to hate stuff like spending time with mom!
The road trip I would take would be to my high school fortieth class reunion from Washington to New York. I can’t fly there because I have five dogs, one of whom is in a wheel chair. Boarding them is out of the question: I’m a good dog-mommy, and stowing them in the belly of the flying beast is the equivalent of, in my opinion, stashing the kids in the trunk of the car. I’d drive with my arm out the window (the left one because my right arm isn’t long enough to stretch across the passenger seat) with my Blue Lizard on. My classmates would startle to see me after all this time (it’s been twenty-five years) and ask me why my skin wasn’t all rough and scaly—was it genes, diet or did I send my daughter in place of myself? I’d say, “No daughter; just me and my lizardly good luck, “and I’d wink as I defied the dazzling summer sun.
I’ve never seen Niagara Falls because my parents took my little sister and left me at home. But I want to see the good side (Canada), which also involves convincing my ex-husband to locate and relinquish my passport (right??). All doable, but not insignificant.
I’d love to go back and visit Hawaii. That’s a place where Blue Lizard Sunscreen would come in REALLY handy!
I don’t even know where to go yet, but I loved what you said about traveling with your favorite people in the world. I’ll definitely try a road trip with my husband and 6-year-old son. They’ve been through a lot with me and totally deserve a great time! Thanks for everything you share! It means a lot 🙂
I have always wanted to go on a road trip to visit crazy things. When I was growing up, my dad was (still is?) one those people who wants to visit old abandoned military sites, which there are an abundance of in the Pacific Northwest. There are a lot of pictures of us as kids hanging out in a giant concrete hole that used to house a machine gunner. But yeah… I want to see a giant pistachio
At least now I don’t live far from Nutshell Studies – it’s at the medical examiners office in Baltimore and includes 18 dioramas of unexplained death scenes. Baltimore’s weird, y’all. http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/the-nutshell-studies-of-unexplained-death
Your trip sounds amazeballs!!!
What do I want to go visit??? Gosh that’s hard. There are lots of things I want to see. But up top on my list is Portland, OR. I hear there are a lot of weirdos there. I need to go to where my people are!
I’ve been wanting to take my nine-year-old on a road/camping trip to the Grand Canyon. It’s not really that far from us, but we’ve had a rough year financially. Figuring out how to fit multi-day road trips into the budget just isn’t happening right now. I haven’t been on a proper road trip in years, and I think my Dude would love it.
I want to see the circus museum in Wisconsin. I imagine it to be super creepy, yet intriguing.
What a completely fun and entertaining post!!
I’m a single mom of one kid, an 11 year old son named Camden. We are total buddies, this kid kicks ass. And we would REALLY love to road trip to Baltimore (from MI) so that we can catch a baseball game at his namesake, Camden Yards!
Years ago, when my Dad, Mom and I were all laid off within a week of each other (2 different companies) we decided to screw the world and we rented an RV to drive to Graceland. (Cause when you’re down and out, Elvis.) We were also planning to hit Roswell to say hi to aliens, the hippos in Hutto, Tx, and The All Aboard Grill in Little Rock (that serves your meals via little toy trains!), among so many other things. We made it to Texas before a cylinder blew and we had to limp back home, defeated by a broken RV. I’d love to take my parents on the trip that we planned but was never able to make happen. Via la weirdo families!
Disney World! We were going to go for my mom’s 40th birthday, but we were (and still are) waaaay to short on money. Aiming for my mom and step-dad’s 10th anniversary now, but it’s coming up fast.
Hubby’s dream is to do a (long!) summer road trip to visit EVERY major league ball park and take in a game. He took me to a game last summer, and now I think it’d be awesome, too.
I would love to visit Mt. Rushmore! Or just do a trip of Kansas Wineries!
A California road trip starting in San Diego, going up to Santa Barbara then San Jose and ending in San Francisco. A leisurely trip where I would have plenty of time to stop and enjoy the sights.
If I win since I’m not in the States and can’t technically win, please donate the reward to a charity of your choice.
Had some technical issues with the site yesterday! Hoping this goes through today… I’d love to visit the Sedona area and do some hiking and whatever nature whatsit-hoozit that people do there. 🙂
My dream trip is a road trip where nothing is planned. I want to get in the car without packing anything and without a destination in mind. I want to buy a toothbrush or underclothes or whatever I need, when I need it from wherever I am. I want to stop wherever looks interesting. Eat wherever looks good. Stay in whatever hotel I come across. Basically just wing it, without the usual vacation stress of sticking to a schedule and plan.
Next year my mom turns 60 and I finally graduate from college (It’s been almost 10 years of school on and off!) We’re planning to drive from RI down to FL to go to Harry Potter world and stop in Asheville, Savannah and wherever else time and money allows. We’ve been planning this trip for years and can’t wait to finally go!
I live in Pennsylvania, and would love to road trip down South ending in the Florida Keys. Stops along the way would definitely include New Orleans, Savannah, and any other place that seems interesting!
When I was in high school in southern Indiana, there was a mild earthquake. My mother was doing the dishes and the glasses began to shake, making a bell like sound as they bumped against each other. In that moment, so she says, she had a vision of Elvis’s living room at Graceland. She also heard an unmistakeable voice say, “Come see me Karen….thank you verrah much,” or something like that…..and you can see what my childhood was like……anyhoo…my parents ended up planning a summer pilgrimage to Memphis. Although I had no qualms about visiting Elvis’ home and grave, it was the one and only family vacation we ever took and since I was an ungrateful teen, I was pissed that it wasn’t the beach. I’ll admit now though, that it was about as interesting a trip as I could imagine at the time and I’m glad we went. I’d love to have a chance to take my two kids on a weird and wonderful trip. We’ve not had the chance to do so yet.
Thank you verrah much,
Danna
PS. I wrote a paper about this weird pilgrimage back in college and got an A.
I’d love to drive through Maine and visit Stephen Kings House.
I would like to see the Worlds Largest Ball of Twine! On my way to Yellowstone National Park. And then, maybe, Mount Rushmore. #pickme
OMG! Rooster Cogburn’s has been on my bucket list for years. It’s in the middle of freakin’ nowhere, so I have been waiting to visit friends in NM, so we can go on the way from our home in California. I wan’t to be kissed by a goat and [not] be beat up by an ostrich asshole. Mostly, I want to feed the lorikeets. Since this seemed so hard to get to, we are planning to fly to Munich, Germany and visit the internment camp at Dachau instead. (It seemed waaay easier, though we will trade the drive time for flight time.) It is a mostly outdoor event, so we will definitely need sunscreen. Especially since we will also visit Oktoberfest. Ein Prosit! (No, we are not German and have never traveled abroad before – so we’re scared.)
i want to go to Crater of Diamonds State Park and dig up myself some jewelry.
One of my best friends and I did a road trip from NC to California and back last year, and it was one of the best decisions of my life. 4 weeks, 10,000 miles, and about 15 state/national forest campgrounds and every minute of it was fantastic. Except for when we had been together for too long and got in a fight on the street in New Orleans.
Which, if you ever need to get in a fight with someone, is a great place for it, because the locals are so used to shit happening that they will not even bat an eye. Anyway, an hour later we met up for lunch and it was great and roadtrips are great and money is even better so you should give me that money, Blue Lizard.
I’d like to do a tour of drive through zoos within a couple days’ drive. Particularly one in MO, where I think I probably owe a camel an apology for trying to drive off while it still had its head in the car, in the food bucket. Honestly though, it was the damned emu’s fault. Those flightless birds are a$$holes.
Traveling is so much better when you’re doing it with people you love, as long as the people you love aren’t those super annoying travel people who refuse to take a side road, stop at an interesting sign, or insist on getting up super early.
You know who I’m talking about, right? narrows eyes at father-in-law
I live in Wisconsin and yet I still haven’t seen Niagara Falls, which is especially sad because I LOVE waterfalls. I have, like, a weird pavlovian response to big, beautiful, loud water crashing down from heights. SO that is certainly a place I would love to see sometime soon!
Thanks for brightening my day with this hilarious and informative post!
I would travel far and wide across this great land searching, seeking, beseeching and perhaps even beeswaxing to find the tailor who fit and sewed this tux for Rory’s cousin, and order a couple more. http://cdnpix.com/show/imgs/051f4c44a9c59176fdfef028ce4a2f77.jpg
I would love to go down to CA and see the Queen Mary. And collect a friend so we can do brunch on board the ship. Because a) champagne brunch and b) haunted ship. 🙂
And now I need to try out Blue Lizard because I’m allergic to most sunscreens.
Done the southwest roadtrips… but I’ve never done one in the northeast! That’s where I’d go. Think of the hundreds of kitschy seashore spots I’ve never seen. Too cute!
I am pretty meh on contests, BUT I will say my mom had a mystery rash that eventually got her in the dermatologists office. After figuring out she’s ALLERGIC TO THE SUN, cause that’s a thing, she was told to buy Blue Lizard. So I’ll share this discount with her, even though she’s already bought into the product.
Wow, what a trip! I’d like to see some of the places you visited as well as the GIANT.BALL.OF.STRING in Kansas. Who would do that? Why? When people have extra string do they just tie it on?
I’m from Long Island, and I’ve never been to see The Big Duck. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Duck
Supposedly Illinois has the most haunted graveyard in the USA, and my wife and kids hate ghosts and will hate me for months if I take them there, years if I can prearrange someone is a sheet to scare the crap out of them, so Win Win!!
Nuts and hands and boobs. Oh my! Sounds like our kind of family vacation (with more appreciation for the sand storms because I was born in one and it I assume it means something special)!
I heard the tiniest mention of the Ringing Rocks Park in PA during the listener mail section of a podcast (Stuff You Missed in History Class). The rocks in the park ring like bells when struck with a hammer and nobody knows why it happens! Nature that also has a secret? Yes please!
How fun!!!! I would love to road trip to see the Grand Tetons. Or Chaco Canyon. We did a road trip to the Grand Canyon a few years back, really wish we’d gone to Antelope Canyon! Stunning!
Your vacay looked amazing. It made me want to head back to Arizona (with plenty of sunblock) to go to the artist colony south of Tucson known as Tubac amongst other places. I haven’t been since my grandparents died and am looooong overdue for some sunshine, desert, and copper/silver/turquoise in my life.
Ever since the 5th grade, I’ve wanted to go to Rhode Island. I know that’s a really weird place to want to go to and it’d be nearly impossible to roadtrip there since I too live in Texas but it’s just something that has stuck in my head because of some dumb report. So yeah, that or San Antonio lol.
AGREE on Antelope Canyon. Was floored by how gorgeous it was. Was terrified by the instructions by our guide that if he said “Run” he meant RUN. Don’t go on a cloudy day with a chance of rain to a canyon formed by flash floods, lesson learned. We also lived.
I want to road trip to see some redwoods in Northern California. Bonus of ocean!
I’m working on my bucket list and hoping to make it home to Germany this year. Was diagnosed with lung cancer in sept 2015…this could help me a lot.
I have wanted to visit The House on the Rock in Wisconsin since I read Neil Gaiman’s ‘American Gods’. I want to stand in the carousel room and watch for old gods.
Okay, I love Blue Lizard to begin with because hello, that bottle turns BLUE in the sun, and hello scary sun rays on my pale pale skin. And now I love them even more for sponsoring. And I would like to roadtrip through the western US. I did it as a sullen teenager and totally did not appreciate it for what it was. I need a re-do. Maybe I’ll take my mom and she can be the whiny one this round.
I NEED to go see/swim in and/or boat over some bio-luminescent algae! and guess what… Australia has two places to do that!! I’d spend the day slathering myself in Blue Lizard Australian sunscreen, then at night could go spend some quality time with plankton. Seriously, it’s on my bucket list. Please fulfill my plankton dreams!
I want to rent a giant RV and do one of those circular road trips where you hit each state. I also want to stop at every cheesy stop possible, particularly if caves are involved.
I would love to go to The City Museum in St. Louis, Missouri. It’s basically this crazy mishmash of found art that you can climb in. They describe themselves as “eclectic mixture of children’s playground, funhouse, surrealistic pavilion, and architectural marvel made out of unique, found objects.”
On their website, I found “Pro tips”. Here are a few that give a good feel for the experience:
-No maps.
-Entrance to the 10 story slide is through the caves.
-Circus times as posted and free.
-A flshlight may be helpful.
It’s beautiful, scary, dangerous, and you have to sign a waiver before you go it. I really want to go in.
I would love to take my kids on a road trip to my past — we live in NJ (suburbs of NYC) and my kids think I am completely making up my stories of growing up in Kansas in the 1970s/80s. They don’t believe that the World’s Largest Ball of Twine is a vacation destination, nor do they believe that if you go in August, you can actually add twine to it! They also don’t believe that anyone would go see (and walk down inside) the world’s largest hand dug well, and the second largest. They also doubt that an enormous electric coal shovel named Big Brutus is a worthy vacation destination. Since they think NYC is the Center of the Universe, I’d love to show them the Geographic Center of the US. Although I would not be able to completely replicate my childhood road trips (during most of which I rode in the back of a pickup truck, usually with a dog or two), at least I could show them that I’m not lying — and scare the pants off them by taking them to Bender Mound (home of America’s first serial killers).
This trip is totally in my wheelhouse. A few years ago we found out my husband from GA had never been to South of the Border. We quickly fixed that. I have driven the whole east coast but haven’t done much outside here. Want to go to Death Valley and the place to look for meteorites, (it was in glass house book). I also wanna go to Wall drug!
Beyonce. But not the singer — your Giant Metal Chicken. But I’m worried that would be construed as too stalker-ish. So maybe a fox farm so I can see some foxen instead?
There is a map of waterfalls in Arkansas that I definitely want to follow through, or a map of the best breakfasts, lunches, and dinners in Missouri that is calling to me.
I would love to take a road trip down the west coast! On a motorcycle. With someone else watching my kids. Because that sounds amazing.
Trees of Mystery in the Redwood Forest to see the giant Paul Bunyon, but more importantly, the 35′ tall Babe the Blue Ox.
My hubby just got his ear chopped off from melanoma. It’s all good. His ear has been reconstructed beautifully and the melanoma is gone. We have lots of Blue Lizard now (seriously – it was the brand on the EWG website that was least dangerous and still VERY effective as a sunscreen). But now I’m a walking PSA for sunscreen. Wear it. Seriously or I’ll send you a picture of his ear mid-reconstruction.
Weirdest trip was cross country in the bed of a Toyota pickup truck to sit in the rain wearing a garbage bags watch Drum Corp bands. If we ever travel I’d love to see the Seattle underground tour, the Seattle metaphysical library, and a swing through the hall of mosses in Forks (for fun) Yes, I’m strange, thanks. Our local weird thing is between us an Utah. A concrete tree in the middle of the Utah Salt Flats. Weird is as weird does. http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3396/3527732094_2a18bec693_m.jpg
My husband and I did a similar roadtrip when we moved from WY to WA in 2012. We stopped to see and photograph: “Former Root Beer Man with Chainsaw” (Ogden, UT); “Evel Knievel’s Snake River Jump Monument” (Twin Falls, ID); “Muffler Man with Stop Sign” (Wendell, ID); “Two-Headed Calf” (Boise, ID); “Large John Wayne Figure” (Umatilla, OR); “Teapot Dome Gas Station” & “Dick and Jane’s Spot” (Ellensburg, WA) and finally, “Hat and Boots” (Seattle, WA). It was awesome…
I saw this thing on buzzfeed the other day where you can go swimming with real life actual otters. My life goal is to pet every single animal I can get my hands on, so obviously this went straight on my bucket list. I’ll probably try to sneak a kiss on one of their little otter heads when nobody is looking.
Dear Jenny,
I would love to go to the MothMan festival in West Virginia. This year is the 15th festival & Mothman’s 50th Birthday. You can check it out here:
http://mothmanfestival.com/
It is only 149 miles (as the mothman flies) from my house, but it would be hard for me to go
unless I won the prize. I have not been far from home because I have too many animals to take care of: 2 dogs, 3 cats, 1 bunny, 1 duck, 8 chickens, 3 pygmy goats, and a fish. If I won the prize I could hire a sitter and get away for a 3 day vacation.
I hope my request did not get lost in all of the other requests..
Thank you for your consideration,
Tom
So, wait… You didn’t even TRY to go see the World’s Largest Ball of Twine?? It’s like I don’t even know you…
Well, I would TOTALLY go see the one in Kansas, and I would send you a picture of me holding more twine to add to it!
I want to go to The Keys!
One of my life goals is to pet an otter and I just learned about a place that allows you to swim with otters in California!! It’s a program called Nutured by Nature. That is like life goal completion overdose if I could go do that.
http://nurturedbynature.org/otterswim-n.html
I would like to visit Boda Borg in Sweden because it seems adventure-y and Boda Borg is super fun to say. And I can’t stop saying it now.
I would do a National Parks tour of the western US, with time to actually see them. I’ve been to many, but always too quickly!
I want to go to base camp of Mount Everest. Along with all the culture of the Nepalese, I want to see rich motherfuckers willingly going to their possible death. Like lemmings in mink jackets and alligator climbing boots. With rhino horn trimmed oxygen masks.
Dude- I wanna see The Thing? I am so intrigued!
Um, I want to stay home? Oh, wait, that’s not very adventurous. I want to go to the Crater of Diamonds and dig in dirt with my kids for a whole day and maybe find a diamond. We would definitely need good sunscreen for that.
I’m from MI and the Upper Peninsula is pretty awesome. We went there last year. I’m thinking hiking around would be lots of fun. I also have not been to Hell. The city. If I won the gift card I would actually think of places but this is off the top of my head.
Thanks to the Weird Al song I’ve always wanted to go visit the World’s Largest Ball of Twine in Minnesota (and now I have the song stuck in my head).
I’m going to visit my sister when she is a professor at the University of Macau, with my 1 year old daughter. International travel before the age of 2. Boldly go, indeed.
Heyso Jenny, I’m a vampire who’s just gotten a very lucrative offer to work at a strip club, but it’s a really avant-garde DAYTIME vampire strip club, located in Death Valley, and they want me to exclusively work the pole out on the unshaded outdoor patio, which logically seems like it would not be where the clientele would want to be, being vampires and all (maybe a few really brazen daytime ghosts too; yes, there is such a thing as daytime ghosts). But because their vampire mothers told them all throughout their childhood to stay out of the daylight, it’ll kill you or melt your skin and eyeballs or at least make pubic hair grow on your palms, the crazy baller, flatbrim, make-it-rain type of vampire strip-club fiends will all want to do exactly what their mothers told them not to do, and so I’ll make bank out there.
Anyhoobastank, that’s why Ima need a grip of Blue Lizard Australian Sunscreen. And so will all of the millions of vampire strip-club aficionados reading your blog, when they come out to Death Valley to visit me and witness my epic outdoor stage show. Thank you and please come again!
I would like to take my son to Universal to see the Harry Potter world. He won’t want to go with me much longer.
I’d go see the beach!
I used to live in Arizona and love this post. I remember when my son insisted that we visit ‘the thing”… I put it off for a long time, but eventually caved. It was truly anticlimactic. For my entry into the contest, I think you should visit the Midwest states of Iowa and Illinois… And definitely head through St Louis for a little famous Ted Drewes frozen custard. Even the lactose intolerant can handle Ted Drewes. Plus St Louis is fascinating in itself, and the Arch is very scary. South and Central Illinois have many usual sightings and lots of ghosts and not so many people. In Iowa, you can find similar strange wonders and you can visit the field of dreams! Even though it’s Iowa, it truly does feel a little like heaven. Very magical.
My dad was in Alaska in WWII, and I’ve always wanted to go there too.
Powell’s Book Store in Portland, Oregon. So many rooms…so many books… Also, Portland has an underground tour, so, awesome:)
I am about to head to San Antonio for the first time! I’d love to go to Mackinac Island!
I don’t care where I go, as long as it’s on motorcycles, with my family, and involves stopping in diners for coffee and talking to lots of random strangers because motorcycles bring people together, yo!
As corny as it sounds, I’d like to husk away to Mitchel Corn Palace in South Dakota. So lend an ear, I want to butter you up to win that gift card! Hopefully this comment pops enough to catch your notice.
I actually had a patient who drank from the toilet, so maybe they knew about her. We made a big national park pilgrimage once. We saw the same people everywhere we went, even at the same service stations. It was bizarre.
My boys and I love Mysteries at the Museum. I would love to pick a group of the museums from the show and make a “Weird Ass things in a Museum” road trip.
I need to tour Wisconsin. I will start with the 20 lb chunk of Sputnik in Manitowoc. Then I want to visit the world’s largest penny in Woodruff. I’ll round out the trip with a gander at the workd’s heaviest ball of twine in Lake Nebagamon and then a visit to the Freshwater Fishing Hall of Fame. Of course, I will be drinking the prerequsite Brandy Old Fashioneds the whole time! I love those cheeseheads!
I would love, love, love to go see the desert flowers in bloom in Death Valley. In part, because the idea that flowers bloom in a so-called valley of death – amazing. And because, with the exception of a couple airports, I have yet to visit anywhere west of the Mississippi except Iowa.
A few years back my family and I were going to the UK and they were making me plan the whole trip so I told them I was going to book us only in haunted hotels. They were OK with this but had a restriction that apparitions were OK, but it wasn’t cool if things moved. I could work with that. In the end, we weren’t able to do this my way but I still want to, so that’s my plan. Haunted places across the UK. But only handsome Scottish warriors with wavy ginger hair. No chairs that slide across the room.
With over 1370 comments already, the chances of you – or anyone! – reading this are nil to none, but, I have to have to have to say “#RestingTrumpFace” – AHHHAHAHAHAHAH!! Perfect! and yes!
I’ve been dying to visit Zion National Park and hike the Narrows…!
That flaccid penis rock is a pretty tempting destination…
I wanna take my kids cross-country, from Georgia, where they were born, to Montana, where I was. Kind of the reverse trip MY mom made when she decided after 18 years that she hated the snow.
I really want to see the Grand Canyon. As well as a cliff in the South of Spain that a village is literally carved into
I would LOVE to go see Maine. Ever since reading & watching Sarah Plain & Tall, I’ve wanted to see Maine. Of course, this is coming from a Children’s librarian with aspirations to be a teacher. Also, girl… I have to say that I was have a craptastic day filled with depression and this post took me out of my funk. So, thank you for that. Much love!
I want to go to Powell Lake and Kayak through it. I saw it in a magazine once and have never gotten it out of my mind. It was weird looking and beautiful at the same time.
We’d like to travel old Route 66 in my spouse’s Corvette convertible. We’d check out greasy spoons along the way, collecting baseball caps and salt and pepper shakers. We’d also take a side trip visit her Delaware (Native American) relatives. I promise to keep a photographic record of every needless sign we encounter along the way!
This was awesome! I’ve gone through these states, but haven’t visited those, um, interesting places. Maybe next time ;0)
Something I don’t want to see (I know, I’m doing this wrong): found out today that I need to get some sort of MRI done on my hip. One of the fancy ones where they inject dye. The only other time I got an MRI was also for a hip. That one taught me that hip MRIs look like sex ed diagrams. What I learned from the embarrassing tweets and posts people made in the fall is that I will not be scheduling the MRI any time from the middle of next week until a week later, because I DO NOT WANT to see a tampon turn up in the image. I don’t care how educational it could be for middle school students to see in their books.
i have been to the majority of the states in the continental us, but i have never ever ever been to a piggly-wiggly. i would gargle glass to be able to go to one.
I want to go to Duluth, mn this summer to see the world’s largest rubber duck at the Tall Shop Festival. Who can resist a huge rubber duck?????
I just want to Thelma and Louise it through the canyons of the Southwest with a good friend in a 1966 Ford Thunderbird. Blowing up misogynistic truckers is optional. Trading with Indians at the roadside mart is optional. Phoning Harvey Keitel to negotiate a deal is optional. Not optional? A righteous playlist and some motherf*ckin’ sunscreen, yo.
I recommend The Enchanted Highway in North Dakota as one of the best weird giant things to visit. I want to go to the southern most point of the Keys just cause but then to Hemingways house to squeeze 6 toed cats. Big Sur, the coasts of Washington and Oregan, back to New Orleans to eat my way through the city. Mostly I want my friends’ kids to get old enough so that they feel ok with leaving them with their spouses so we can go on strange road trips again.
Now I want to go on a trip. No, like, right now. Except that would require me to get off the couch. And there’s a soft baby dragon that wants to go to sleep now. That’s not a euphemism. She’s stuffed, but adorable. And still demanding.
I’d love to do a road trip through Ireland! I’ve always wanted to go, and driving all over seems the best way to see everything.
I’m headed to the Cape in a few weeks; can’t wait to take a tour of the dunes at the Cape Cod National Seashore: .http://www.nationalparks.org/explore-parks/cape-cod-national-seashore. (YAY, national parks and the most eastern point in the United States.) And being a descendent of nocturnal, cave-dwelling bleach drinkers, I am in need of an incredible amount of sun screen. I can’t wait to discover all the hidden pockets of odd, too!
There is so much secret strange to be had in New England. (I live a few miles from America’s Stonehenge… )
If the Blue Lizard People want to help us afford our trip (and protect us from the sun), we certainly would be super delighted. If not, we are still pretty much all smiles.
Jenny, thanks for putting your disclaimer at the top! You rock. 🙂
Anywhere with lots of sun, because I’m from a part of NY that doesn’t have spring yet. So, I’ll need the sunscreen…..I’ve forgotten what sun is!!! (but if I had to pick, the outer banks. I’ve never been, and they have sun. and sand. and seashells. and did I mention sun?)
It just feels right to round off a post of an American road trip with Australian sunscreen by giving a Canadian that sweet gift card.
Wawa, Ontario is home to the largest Canada goose (statue) in the world, a monument to our country’s true overloads and #1 group of assholes. Even the statue-goose’s wings are in attack mode, a nightmarish pose that has ruined every park picnic and waterfront walk for all 25 years of my life. Jenny, I want to fight the statue. I want to hang from its dumb, statue neck like an angry nylon flag and tell it how much I hated Fly Away Home. (In REAL life, Anna Paquin would have raised those geese only to look at one wrong and be forced to take refuge for an hour in a car.) I hate that giant flying turd and everything it stands for.
I would like to go visit anywhere that gets me of Florida !!! It’s effing hot in the summer! Well somewhere cooler , maybe Canada or close to the border.
I want to travel to Belize and dive The Great Blue Hole. My kids refuse to join me because apparently a 425 foot sinkhole in the ocean is scary.
I want to go to the lake Australia where you can swim with jellyfish. The non-stingy kind. Because swimming with the stingy kind would be a collasal waste of a good dollar. And would hurt. A lot.
Bea’s Ho-Made Pies in Door County Wisconsin. It’s a real place! And that”s the real name.
Oh my goodness, you actually got to see THE THING?? I have driven past it about 10 times and STILL have no idea what it actually is. Mostly because I drive through nothingness all by myself so it’s no fun to check out weird random THINGs without a buddy. Just in case it’s something that will eat you and you have to throw them to it so you can escape.
Did you notice when you crossed the continental divide? It’s there. In the middle of a flat nowhere. But there’s a sign! And if you were driving on I-10, you passed where my car broke down in the middle of nowhere, so that’s an important landmark.
Also, now I want to visit the penis rock but I don’t live in AZ anymore. And I feel like telling my parents I want to visit them so I can see a rock shaped like a wang would not go over well.
But my #1 place I want to visit is Indonesia. But you can’t drive there. Yahoo maps used to say you can kayak there, though.
My husband and I have travelled to and around west Texas and the American southwest from our home in Austin. But somehow we have never been by the Cadillac Ranch. I need to go to there. We are planning a Grand Canyon trip and I’m lobbying for a trip to the Cock Rock. We have three boys so it seems only right.
I’m from the south but I’ve been living all over the country for the past 15 years or so, dealing with what my publicist would call ‘exhaustion.’ I’d love to go see Dollywood, somewhere I haven’t been in 15 years, because it is the happiest place on earth (fuck you, Disney). I finally found some relief (and a good prescriber) and I think I deserve a funnel cake on a roller coaster while listening to “Coat of Many Colors.”
Thank you, Jenny. I love you bestest.
I’ve never been on a road trip but I want to go to Riverside Iowa!!! Future birth llCe of Captain James Tiberius Kirk becuass omg they have a future birthplace for a fictional epic character
I think the purrrrfect vaCATion would be to see the Ernest Hemingway Home and visit with all of the adorable polydactyl cats. What is better in this world than books and cats!?
I want to visit Salvation Mountain. It’s a monument in the California desert that is entirely made out of local Adobe and DONATED paint. It’s near the Salton Sea. There is really not much other reason a person would go anywhere near the Salton Sea. They need me.
Not having any plans for a summer vacation for my 3 daughters and myself (husband is working in Alaska for the summer), I was open to any ideas. My 11yo daughter learned about the California gold rush and mentioned wanting to see some of the places. So I mapped out a road trip from Washington to San Francisco (to visit my hardly seen little brother) up through gold rush country and stopping to view mostly strange and unusual places. I’m sure it will be completely miserable (definitely part of the fun) but I really can’t wait.
I think what my husband Rob and I would love to do if we could, would be to go to visit North Carolina and take my elderly father with us. My niece and her husband live there and they have a hard time getting away from their farm to visit grandpa and their Illinois aunts and uncles. It’s been years. Plus, they’re close to the coast there. We haven’t been to the ocean since my honeymoon over 20yrs ago. But I’m very pale and need serious sunscreen because I have only 2 skin tones that I’m capable of: ghost white or lobster red.
I want to see the Winchester house & the Lizzie Borden house! Not in the same road trip because I’m in the part of Texas that takes even longer to get out of than the middle and they’re at opposite ends of the country, but eventually. 🙂
I’d love to drive down the California coast and visit Nitt Witt Ridge https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitt_Witt_Ridge
It looks horrible and awesome.
I would love to see Antelope Canyon, but really, I need to take a road trip to ride the old Route 66. There’s a lot of crazy things on that trek, like the Grain Elevator Museum in Illinois, the Vacuum Cleaner Museum in Missouri, a haunted bordello in Kansas, World’s Largest Totem Pole in Oklahoma, the barbed wire museum and Bug Ranch in Texas, The Blue Hole in New Mexico, and finally the Route 66 Museum in Arizona!
Australian sunscreen? I live in Australia and have never heard of Blue Lizard. But since you like using Australian sunscreen you should do an Aussie road trip. We have heaps of big statues spread across the country for you to visit. We have The Big Pineapple, The Big Banana, The Big Poo, The Big Cow, The Big Gumboot and heaps more to see. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australia%27s_big_things
Knife city….billboards every mile. Not a city. Tons of knives, swords etc.
So I read “Furiously Happy” and I laughed so hard I cried..mascara scary tears. The cover art ALONE ON THE BOOK made me pick it up and say YES…I MUST buy this. As someone who struggles with depression and who is an HSP (highly sensitive person) I wanted to tell you that your humor and genuine voice are extremely refreshing and inspiring! Ok, my geeking out has ceased.
Anyway, seriously jerk face ostrich?! Hope your finger feels better! Glad you and your family had a great time despite that. Sorry you didn’t have any ghost encounters on your trip. If you ever come to California you MUST visit the Whaley House in Old Town San Diego and also the Queen Mary in Long Beach. My husband and I had CRAZY encounters at both places. Lets just say my non-believer husband is a believer in ghosts now.
I’ve always been fascinated with the paranormal, unsolved mysteries, myths, and folklore. Someday I would love to travel around with my hubs and go big foot (squatching) in Northern California, go to Roswell New Mexico and sleuth around the supposed crash area, check out the supposed “mystical vortexes” of Sedona Arizona that promote positive energy, and if given the chance I would love to explore Lake Champlain (NY or Vermont side) and check out if the US version of the lochness monster otherwise known as Champ is real. Seriously it’s a thing! http://www.lakechamplainregion.com/recreation/heritage/champ
Definitely a used bookstore road trip. While driving from Michigan to Pennsylvania, we saw pamphlets for a shop boasting “largest used book store” (all used…unlike Powell’s) but now for the life of me I can’t figure out where it is. It’s out there, though! And I’d slather my pasty-white face with ALL the sunblock in an attempt to find it again.
We live in Colorado and have never been to the Stanley Hotel (where The Shining was filmed). Room 237 is calling my name.
Now THAT is my kind of roadtrip! BTW, thank you for being upfront about the sponsorship. Very cool of you. In return, I’ll be cool by admitting that I’m commenting mainly to enter the contest. But I seriously loved the post and pics for reals!
I’d like to do a haunted places roadtrip ending in the Stanley Hotel (but I might have to take a side trip to visit The Thing because now I’m curious).
I would use it for a weird road trip on the way to see my weird (and beloved and far away) family!
I want to take my kids to Galveston to see the ocean before we contaminate it to death. Also, Galveston has lots of ghosty places and who doesn’t enjoy a good ghosty place? So, basically I want to take the kids to see the ocean before it’s dead and visit places full of the already dead. It’s an oxymoronic kinda trip. Emphasis on moronic. ✌🏽
A few years back, I took my 16 year old son to see the Grand Canyon because I had never seen it. We were driving from Las Vegas to Flagstaff when I saw a sign for the Road Kill Cafe in Seligman, Arizona along old Route 66. I was ready to go there but my son pleaded with me not to, he was afraid they would really serve us road kill. Not wanting to scar my son for life, we didn’t stop. But I was determined that on our return trip to Las Vegas we were going to stop. To make a long story short, I had an accident with a mule in the Grand Canyon, ending up in a hospital. Did I mention I was air lifted out of the Canyon? True story. So I never made it back to the Road Kill Cafe, but would some day like to. Your trip looked awesome, nice pics.
You mean I could see The Thing 500 times for free?! Sign me up.
Ludington Michigan, at the exact same time the Michigan Disc Golf State Finals occur!
I don’t know if you’ve already chosen someone, but I found out that a friend’s family was robbed last night, and the assholes stole all the money the kids had saved for an upcoming vacation.
I’d already posted about an upcoming trip to New England shortly after the post went up, but if these kids could be considered as recipients, I’d still be thrilled to promote the hell out of Blue Lizard (and of course you) during my own road trip. They just need it way more than I do.
I swear I’m not trying to sound all pitiful to get money, and I’d be happy to find some way to verify the situation if the gift card went their way. Thanks for all you do, either way; I know there are lots of deserving people.
(Except dickwads who steal money from children.)
We would do some ridiculous motorcycle trip. That would leave me crying and my husband saying it isn’t about the destination, it’s about the ride. My ass would be sore and there aren’t any cold beers, but at least I wouldn’t have a sunburn.
K
Well a limp phallic rock was never on my “to see” list, but now it is. I’m road tripping (and moving) from Vermont to Texas this August and part of my trip is to stop at random museums and “must sees”. This includes the toy robot museum in PA, gangster museum in AR, the Marfa Prada installation in TX, and I’m thinking about a day trip to the toilet seat museum in San Antonio. It’s a weird travel habit I picked up years ago when I stumbled across a carousel art museum in OR.
I have wanted to see the South all of my life – imagining myself as some sort of southerner at heart (I am so not). I grew up in the West and then lived in the North, but have never been South. And – it would totally have to be a road trip because there is so much I would want to see. I would drag my kids everywhere they probably never wanted to go – old plantations, creepy cemeteries, battlefields, beaches and swamps – I want to see it all.
When I was in 5th grade, my parents took us on a 3 week trip across country in a rented RV. We hit the major sites – Grand Canyon, Petrified Forest, Zion, Yellowstone…We were so crunched for time that it was like the speed dating version of Road trips. I would love to go back and visit some of these places without feeling like I was in strange road race where no wins.
I’d love to visit Olympic National Park in Washington and try to find the “one square inch of quiet”.
I want to pack up the kids and go see all the crazy stuff in Florida! Especially in Tampa to see things like the Anti-Gravity Monument, the Beverage Castle, Exploding Chicken Sculpture, and the Recyclosaurus Dinosaur!!!
I’d take my besties on a road trip to as many National Forests/Parks as we could cram in. And inspect them for confusing sign verbiage and document it for your amusement. And enjoy the parks, of course.
Interesting trip. Always thrilling to see a 50-foot high pistachio nut and a rudely shaped rock. Oh yeah, Meteor Crater and that Grand Canyon thing looked okay too.
I’d like to visit the Mutter Museum in Philadelphia. Preserved 2-headed animals in jars and stuff like that….
Hi, I’d love to do a Route 66 road trip, and see all the kitschy roadside attractions along the way from Chicago to LA.
I love American Gods. I have been dreaming of seeing the king of all roadside attractions House On The Rock.
I really want to go on a road trip cross country and visit all of the weird museums on the way. I’m a social studies teacher and LOVE those weird obscure museums you find in old houses about things like dentistry, or cheese.
There are so many places I want to go!! Lots of them right her in Texas.
Good thing you didn’t drink out of the toilet. heehee
We want to take our kiddo to Metropolis, IL, which is basically just a tiny town with a Superman statue and Superman memorabilia store.
The kid and I would like to visit Alcatraz. It’d be a long road trip, but we have plenty of military friends along the way we would stop and visit with as well. Visiting the different bases would probably be the highlight of my sons trip.
I work for a wastewater treatment agency and we really, really like poop jokes and all things poo-related. So, therefore, I really, really want to go to the toilet museum in India. It’s a real thing, I promise you! See? http://www.sulabhtoiletmuseum.org/
It’s slightly ironic that India is home to the toilet museum, however, because much of India is sans-potty. But, regardless of that face, I do think a visit to the Toilet Museum is imperative for all.
Hey Jenny… there’s gotta be a company that would sponsor your visit to the Sulab Toilet Museum! #PottyEmergency
Hi – Meramec Caverns for me! I want to take my grown kids because I sheltered them from road trips as children and now they don’t believe that places like this exist. I googled the caverns to get the spelling right and realized they are shut down right now due to air quality issues but I’m sure they’ll be back up and breathable soon.
My doctor told me that I need to go to Hawaii or I would literally become physically incapable of ever learning how to relax. I always go to cold, sort of iffy places where survival plays a big part of the trip (think, Iceland in the spring where you’re driving and then suddenly there’s no more road because it’s snowing in such a fine and intense powder it’s like someone punched you in the face with a bag of flour, or Yellowstone, where you’re coming out of the ladies room at the campsite and then apparently, a bison is coming out of the men’s room and TOTALLY SNEAKS UP BEHIND YOU. HOW ARE BISON SO QUIET?!) and basically I need to try and relax on purpose and maybe even interact with this “sun” I keep hearing so much about, but I also don’t want cancer, so I will be screening my sun calls.
I would love to take my husband and my daughter on a road trip from Mount Rushmore to the Little Bighorn. This may not seem very exotic, but it is iconic, and to make it with a 3 yr old who is pretty sure she is Iron Man could only be amazing.
I want to see EVERYTHING! I want to see Stephen Kings house in Maine, visit Forks, WA (sparkly vampires…duh), see the Golden Gate Bridge, take my kids to New York City! And…I want to stop at every weird roadside attraction in between.
I would love to go on a road trip with my husband and son to the redwoods! I have a picture from when I was younger standing in a hallow tree stump there and would love to relive it! (minus the car sickness. 3 out of 5 of the kids on that trip threw up. So if anything this would be a redemption trip! ) Plus I remember vaguely seeing a GIANT Paul Bunyan and his Blue Ox. Should be interesting! 🙂
I really really want to drive all of (what’s left of) Route 66 with my kids and go see all the crazy roadside attractions. I also really want to go to the Spam Museum over in Minnesota, but I heard a rumor it’s no closed.
I want to do some hiking in Oregon
I lived in Beaufort, SC for several years. I need to take my hubby to see all of the history and cool haunted stuff there. Between Sherman not burning it on his way to Atlanta to use as a base and the hurricanes and amazing food you could spend YEARS there.
My husband and I would like to take a roadtrip all through Texas! We haven’t done that in a long time, and we were just talking about it the other day. This would be awesome!
The most amazing trip I could take is to Florida to see the baby sea turtles hatch! Then a road trip to Orlando to visit Gatorland! I haven’t been there since I was stationed there. Followed by a magical trip to Universal Studio to check out Hogwarts! Who knows maybe I could see a magical Unicorn! But have no fear I won’t drink it’s blood for life sustaining properties! What an awesome trip that would be! I would be able to check 3 things off of my bucket list! In the words of Dr. Suess the places we’ll go and the people we will see! swimshann@yahoo.com
My family and I are dying to go to crater lake. We’ve lived in Oregon 20 years and never been. So that’s on our list for this summer. Hopefully.
My family and I are dying to go to crater lake. We’ve lived in Oregon for 20 years and haven’t been.
Plus there’s supposed to be a haunted spa nearby!
I wanna road-trip with you and your family. I have no imagination when it comes to road-tripping on my own. Sure, I would love to drive all over Hawaii, who wouldn’t? Or ride the train in the Grand Canyon.
Anywhere with a beach – it’s been so long since I’ve been to the ocean! I would love to see the wild horses either at OBX (even though they are behind fences now 🙁 ) or Assateague Island.
Last month I visited the giant pink dinosaur of unknown species in Springhill Florida. They also have another odd dino about a quarter of mile down the road that has a auto service station inside…because apparently when you have one dinosaur you need two? Anyhow I’ve visited the giant Melbourne Orange in Florida also as part of my “see odd America” and now I’d love to visit the Giant Ball of Twine in Cawker City Kansas. Mostly because I want to say I went to CAWKER CITY.
I love rad trips. We go on one every year or so with the kids. The first one we went on was long (San Diego to Dallas) and they were 3 and 4. I was afraid, but they were fantastic. Now that they’re teenagers they have decided that road trips are lame, but I still dragged them from San Diego to Idaho and down the entire California Coast this last summer. They complained loudly.
By now we’ve covered most of the western US and I’d love to take them to New Orleans. Or actually, We haven’t made it all the way up to Seattle either. Both of these road trips will require an airplane, but since you’ve already set the precedence I think I’m okay with that!
I would like to go on a road trip to see Chicago. My husband has to go to a suburb of Chicago once a month for work, and the kids and I always want to see where he goes. Plus I have never been west of the original 13 colonies, and I’m 35. So that’s just sad. And even though my husband goes there all the time, he’s too busy to actually do anything cool. And we want to try Chicago style pizza and totally ruin all his business trips by being there with him and making him miss us even more when we’re not (the same way we ruined hotel rooms and plane rides!).
Blue Lizard is cool. I always liked how the top changes color in UV rays, and now I like them more for letting you do this crazy ad. 🙂
We did much of that same vacation two years ago! Grand Canyon, Antelope Canyon, Petrified Forest (you’re right, not foresty at all), Meteor Crater…all of your pictures brought back memories, and I applaud you for doing an old fashioned road trip. I am itching to go to Mount Rushmore and the Black Hills, and Midwest Living had a dream trip give away earlier this year with a trip to that area and I was all THAT TRIP IS MINE! I CAN FEEL IT! I WILL WIN THIS! And, despite entering every single day for six weeks with daily prompting from my daughter (did you enter today? didja? didja?), I didn’t win. Sigh. I have seen pictures of the Black Hills and they are mesmerizing but I can’t even explain why…kind of like the Grand Canyon, I guess.
We’re taking a road trip from Wisconsin to the Canadian Rockies this summer. (Who doesn’t want to spend 24 hours in a car with a 6-year old?) I immediately searched “giant things” on our route, so we’ll be visiting Otto the Big Otter and the World’s Largest “Booming” Prairie Chicken along the way. (Apparently “booming” has something to do with mating, so that should be fun.)
I would love to send my parents on a road trip. In 2014, for my dad’s 70th birthday, we took our first family vacation. We just didn’t have the funds to do this when we were growing up. My dad recently retired and he and my mom take small daily trips, but I would love for them to road trip! I have enough Delta miles to fly them to a starting point, but I know they would love to drive to the Grand Canyon and then to Vegas. I can fly them home from there. The $500 gift card could cover meals and incidentals.
Not so much a THING as a HAPPENING but my husband really wants to take us on a family road trip to a “square state in the middle of the country” (he hasn’t decided which one yet) so he can take photos of GIGANTIC LIGHTNING STORM TORNADOS. This is his idea of fun and family togetherness, I think you’d like him a lot. Kiddo and I plan to find the nearest storm shelter and hunker down with a cow for protection but we do love him so we would go with him anyway…
Personally, I want to go see the Waverly Hills Sanatorium. It’s supposed to be one of the most haunted places in the U.S. And they had a tunnel to transport dead bodies through. It’s in Kentucky I think, so I don’t know what other reason I’d have to go there.
I went to the Grand Canyon once. We saw a squirrel hanging for dear life off a little branch in the middle of the canyon wall. We wished we could save it, but maybe it’s better that we didn’t. For all we know he was the squirrel nation’s sacrifice to appease the gods of the gaping maw. We’re probably all still here because we didn’t save him and invoke the wrath of some Lovecraftian beast.
And then my dad took us to that fake Flintstones place in the desert for lunch. They had a giant dinosaur slide like in the show and all our squirrel worries disappeared.
Hooray for weird and awesome family vacations! I would love to take my kids to visit Stark’s Vacuum Museum in Portland, Oregon. My 4 year old son is obsessed with vacuums–I have pictures of him at 1 year old vacuuming, one of his favorite toys from his 4th birthday was a new (real) vacuum, he knows all the different brands and their logos–you get the picture. Plus, I’ve heard Portland has a few other fun things to do 🙂
I’d like to take a dog vacation. A vacation where I can take my three dogs with us… I guess it would be really called a dog-friendly vacation. Maybe rent an RV where they could ride with us and we could just stay in the RV in parks where the dogs could sleep with us.
I have a 16 year old Dachsund Cocker Spaniel mix, a 9 year old Lab Greyhound mix, and a 6 year old Lab Husky mix. The 16 year old will only spend two nights without me. At the third night, he howls. All night. No one will watch him any more. The 9 year old lab greyhound mix has kidney disease and ate my in-laws custom made blinds during our last trip… she apparently doesn’t do well without my husband. My 6 year old has never gotten to take a vacation because dogs over 20 pounds don’t get to go into hotels, and the 16 year old gets to have all of the fun.
I guess this would be more of a vacation for my 6 year old dog, since she won’t ever get to go anywhere. Does that count as a vacation for me? Also, my 16 year old dog wears sunscreen. I think it would be good advertising for Blue Lizard. 😉
I SO want to go to the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, CO.
I’d like to visit the grave of Andy the footless goose, whose owner made him little shoes to get around. It’s in Hastings, NB.
I want to just travel around with no itinerary and see things that are interesting… Like the Mermaids of Wachee Springs!
Id take it, go to Salem Willows and spend it all on pinball
There are a couple of weird screwy places on my bucket list – The Overlook Hotel (I mean Stanley Hotel. Of course I do) from The Shining. The Lizzie Borden Bed & Breakfast. Tombstone/Boot Hill. Edgar Allen Poe’s grave. Gettysburg. sigh What a crazy adventure that would be…..
I feel my life will not be complete if I don’t see the haunted Taco Bell in Twinsburg Ohio. I never knew there could be such a perfect combination of delicious fake Mexican food and creepy little girl in white and military ghosts. Yes I know, you’re sold and how could it get any better. Oh well I assure you it does. There is also a friendly ghost, casper style, who is eternally in his taco bell uniform and helps other employees.
The World’s Second Largest Ball of Twine. And the Icelandic Phallological Museum (aka the Penis Museum).
One of those indoor skydiving places.
I want to go take a road trip to Bodie State Historic Park. It is suppose to be haunted. It is on the California/Nevada border and the pictures make it look haunted and creepy and awesome. One website says Bodie has “real ghost” – the quotation marks make me think someone on the website is skeptical…
http://www.haunted-places-to-go.com/ghost-towns-1.html
I really hate that there’s no emoji keyboard for my desktop computer at work because I need to insert about a bazillion laughing till crying emojis here. I found you on LinkedIn from a post about the 100+ world’s most funny and clever Twitter bios. You were number 71, but I don’t think they were in order of importance or most clever or funny, so don’t despair. (In case you didn’t see it, here’s the link: http://www.slideshare.net/MeetAna/twitterbios-16811546)
Since I saw you live in Texas (and so do I), I had to check it out. I don’t know why that matters. Ok…. Also, because your Twitter bio is funny and I totally relate. I seriously laughed out loud at the office and am glad I was alone. I am now stalking you via internet…I mean, I subscribed to your posts. 🙂
Grand Canyon!!!
I’d love to take a road trip to see all 21 California Mission. They probably have some cool old cemeteries too
I want to see Hadrian’s Wall and all sorts of Other Cool Old Shit around Scotland. I went to Scotland once, and photographed a wedding in a ~13th century castle (with the “dungeon” aka basement/cellar done up as a 5 star restaurant), which was admittedly incredibly cool, but I want to be able to go for myself and see All the Historical Things.
I’m thinking about a trip to rehab. I will take on drinking shortly as I am a long-term sub for kindergarten. Me, 2 classes, 48 kids, the worst babysitter pay ever…I’m just thinking heavily drinking could get me some time away without kids or responsibility ….perhaps though just a vacation at the beach would fix me…9 more days…
NYC. We’re only a few hours away, yet have never visited.
We – husband, son and I – are heading to Florida. We are renting a house with a pool and a floating dock which means lots of swimming and fishing. AND it is only 10 minutes away from – are you sitting down and holding on to your chair? – Weeki Wachee!!!!! What is Weeki Wachee, you say?! You poor soul. Lay your sad head on my shoulder as I regale you. Weeki Wachee is an enchanted spring on the west coast of Florida. Salt water fish and mammals come in from the Gulf and swim in the fresh waters. The water is crystal clear so you can see them right in front of you. Ho hum, you say? You could just watch a nature special, you say? Perhaps. But what nature special would also show you the MERMAIDS?!! That’s right, sweet thing, I said mermaids. They perform an underwater version of Hans Christian Andersent’s The Little Mermaid! You can see other shit there, but who really cares what else they have when there are MERMAIDS?! And the rest of the vacation will be spent outside – see above mentioned fishing and swimming – so this pasty white girl will be slathering on her sunscreen! I will take that coupon to Blue LIzard and use the hell out of it, thank you! I have Largerst Pistachio envy – but will assuage it with Mermaids! We’ll be there two weeks – and there is an extra bedroom – when should we expect you? Hugs!!
I’ve wanted to photograph Antelope Canyon and Bryce Canyon and Arches National Canyon for like 20 years.
I would like to visit Australia, just to see if they would let me hug a koala, even thought they wouldn’t let you hug one. Now I know that $500 isn’t going to get me to Australia but hey, it’s a start. I would plan to bring plenty of Blue Lizard sunscreen with me too! Although now that I think about it, since it’s Australian, I can probably just buy it there with my $500.
I want to stay at the Myrtles Plantation in Louisiana. It’s supposedly very haunted and I’d love to see an actual ghost… We’ve visited many “haunted” locales and have never seen a thing. I also want to watch the bats fly out from under the bridge in Austin, Texas. Apparently, they turn the sky black. Creepy. And neat.
Too late to comment? I want to go to Paris and use my Naughty Girl’s Guide – invested in this on Kickstarter but have yet to go.
I would love to take my kids to Disney! They ask all the time if we can go but we just can’t due to finances 🙁
I want to take my 6 and 7 year old to see the Sleeping Bear Sand Dunes. My kids’ favorite outdoor activity is playing in sand. Seriously, they don’t feel fulfilled if by the end of the day they don’t have sand in their butt cracks. I would love to see the look on their faces when they see the glorious dunes of sand. It would be like floop MIND BLOWN. And…. I have dastardly plans to walk to approximately the middle of the dunes and explain to them that the dunes are named Sleeping Bear because it’s really an enormous bear asleep under a few feet of sand….. mwua.Ha.Ha….ha.
I want to go to Marfa…probably because it’s what I used to call my sister Martha. [and I paid $1 to see The Thing…and realized that ‘attractions’ like that probably sustained folks when car travel took sooooo much longer
So, how to win a $500 gift card. I live off Highway 50 in Southern Illinois. My mom lives off Highway 50 in Sacramento, CA, where Highway 50 ends. I’d like to drive Highway 50 from my house to my mom’s house. Along the way we’d venture into any interesting places in the small towns that still sit on these old routes. I’d use the Facebook page Roadside America, as a starting point to find al the interesting things on our route. Here’s their link in case you want to check it out for more places to take your daughter on your next road trip. We’ve actually done most of the stops you mentioned from your trip to the Grand Canyon. PLEASE, the $500 would come in very handy. Thank you.
I want to take my mother on a road trip to find all our old dead ancestors burial sites. We have one long ago uncle who was buried in the separate lawyers only cemetery in Philadelphia. Did the lawyers want to be separated, or did the other dead people sue to keep them out of theirs?
I have two answers, which I’m pretty sure disqualifies me to win, but I love to travel, so –
My top choice for a road trip would be to travel back to Ukraine. Three of my children are adopted from Ukraine, and I would love to be able to take them back to experience the country outside of an orphanage. I’d like to take them to Kiev, and then take the train to their birth city. We would visit the Black Sea, and all of the sights, and take chocolates to their old orphanages. I have always wanted them to maintain ties to their home country. And I just fell in love with the country when we were there, and I find myself missing it constantly. That’s not really a road trip, though, because we would require a plane or a ship.
My other answer is that my kids and I want to go to North Carolina to search for Blackbeard’s Treasure. We want to go to the tiny library near where he was killed, read their Blackbeard Collection, and then go searching for the treasure. And find it, of course, that’s part of the deal.
Really, we love to travel, and we have lots of places we’d love to go. I’m glad your family got to go on such a fantastic trip.
I am spending my summer working at an animatronic dinosaur exhibit as a dinosaur wrangler and now I want to go to the Montana or one of those states and dig for dinosaur bones. Because science, and all.
As a John Ford nerd, I’d love to visit Monument Valley in Utah.
I had a friend who took two weeks to get from Kansas City to Denver. On one trip I took I kept seeing those “Ranch Road” signs off Highway 70 or 80, so I took one for awhile. They’re basically miles of frontage roads that access the ranches along the highway (hence the name…) That’s what took my friend two weeks. I travelled with him a couple of times and it was awesome. Stop at a rest stop to fill, empty and leave? Nah, walk around the block and find a taxidermied [the spell check for this site doesn’t believe in the word “taxidermied”?! Hah!] moose on a porch. That’s the road trip I want. All the ranch roads, and then all the walks to one block behind the road that’s one block off the main drag.
My two best friends and I have gone on road trips 2 of the last 3 summers, and are going again this summer. Our (my) main goal is baseball stadiums. The first year, I went separately with each of them, and covered a LOT of ground (CO to UT to AZ to CA, and then CA to NY [home]). It included two flat tires in two days, and a missed game because of one! The next year, we left from home, drove south to NC, then turned right and did Tennessee and Kentucky. We had some really great biscuits on that trip. We also got to the stadium that was missed the year before for flat tires…
This year, we’re planning on hitting four baseball stadiums…. from San Diego to Seattle, in about a week. We’ll stop and see the redwoods, and probably drink too much crappy stadium booze, but otherwise, we’ll just see where the wind takes us. This is definitely the best way to spend our late twenties… And we use a LOT of sunscreen to keep the two of us who are pale as pale as can be!
That seems super cool! My best friend and I have always wanted to go to Spain and walk El Camino de Santiago.
I want to see the Blue Whale on Route 66. Oh and visit a friend in Missouri. Love your vacation recap.
S0 – I’m moving to Texas in less than two months, for a job. I know the job is mine, and have known for nearly a year, but have yet to receive the official offer. I refuse to formally quit my current job (though my funding runs out in that same less-than-two-month period anyway) or fly down to find a new place to live until I receive that formal offer, so it looks like I’ll be renting an apartment sight unseen at the last minute. I guess I want to visit….Texas. I’ll need the sunscreen because I am fish-belly white and will be driving livestock (3 cats) 2000 miles across the country. 🙂
Norwegian runes stones in Oklahoma, how did they get there?
That flaccid penis is going to need A LOT of sunblock
I rather desperately want to go to The House on The Rock and it is all Neil Gaiman’s fault. Blasted American Gods. Failing that, I also have on my list the Abita Mystery House in LA or else to back to the Winchester Mystery House because, omg, did you know they have a liquor permit now AND they do sleep-overs? Sign me up! – Angie (who happens to burn like a chicken in a row boat when exposed to sun)
I would like to see the Pumpkin House in Kenova, WV. How do they dispose of all those pumpkins after Halloween?
Amazing! That sounds like the road trip I would plan if I lived in the Southwest. However, I like in the Midwest, so I would do a roadtrip to all the supposedly haunted places in Kansas and Missouri.
ROAD TRIP!!! I followed this on Instagram, and it looked completely and utterly amazing. I am now desperate to go to Antelope Canyon.
This was GREAT! I was going to say “California Mission Tour” even though it’s been done, but after seeing so much weird stuff I want to cast a vote for “Fairly Lame Roadside Attractions That Aren’t Petting Zoos” (like the concrete dinosaurs in Ca’s Inland Empire, and the biggest vegan grocery store in the U.S. and anything with fake snow on the roof. Yeah.
Ever since my husband moved to the U.S., he’s wanted to go to the Dinosaur Kingdom in Virginia. http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/10790 It has civil war soldiers riding dinosaurs, and seems to be a good first road-trip choice.
I’d love to take my family camping in Yosemite.
Since my mom works so hard and doesn’t tend to treat herself, I’d love to take her on a road trip to someplace beautiful where she can relax. Since she lives in the flat midwest, I’d love to take her to California and drive along the winding coast, stopping for seals, ocean swimming, food along the shore, and the Redwoods (where we can check out the supposed “gravitational anomaly” in “The Mystery Spot”). The last time I saw her completely relaxed was when she walked along Lake Michigan with her brother, who was visiting from Korea. There is something about the water and wind. I’d love to take her to more of that. We’re big sunblock people, so Blue Lizard is welcome on the trip in more ways than one!
There is a story behind every sign..
My family and I are hoping on taking a trip to Florida next month. That coupon code will come in handy, thanks for sharing it!
Probably way too late for this but either way I just wanted to say that you have made me want to go on a road trip. To anywhere. With anybody.
I’d love to take the trip I did 40 yrs ago on our honeymoon. From MN to CA. Was a blast and would be again with hubby.
I don’t have the health points to do a major road trip right now, but I always love spending time on Vashon, a perfect little hippie island a ferry ride away from Seattle. It’s a supposed hotbed for Sasquatch sightings, and there’s a bicycle-eating tree. So I’m set for night life.
I lived in Wyoming for several years, but only learned about this after I left. I would like to see the old iron beds used as tombstones in the Shoshone Indian cemetery, Wind River Reservation, Fort Washakie, Wyoming. Here’s a link with a photo: http://www.cathousebeds.com/iron-bed-tombstone/
This was a great roadtrip!! I love road tripping with my friends!! Interestingly enough, I’m from Australia, and I can say that Blue Lizard Sunscreen is not available anywhere I’ve shopped. I think the “AUSTRALIAN” is pure brand-name only :).
Nice to learn that Australian Sunscreen Standards are the toughest in the world.
I’ve always wanted to see the Marfa ghost lights. However, I also live in the middle of Texas and it really does take 480 years to get to the end of Texas, so I’ve never gotten that far.
I wish to take my kid to London and see the Doctor Who theme park once it’s open
Dear Ms. Jenny Lawson!
YOU CAME TO TUCSON and didn’t let me show you around town???? Next time, let me show you the REAL wonder of the desert here. It will make you a POET.
By the way, I hope your gift from Lizard goes to a young person who needs a big kick in the optimism department.
Jenny: The CARDINAL rule of loving a place like Tucson and Arizona is to SHUT THE FUCK UP about it. It’s beautiful because people don’t mob here, people don’t get it, and over run it, most anyway. Most are MEH, huh? That’s because the beauty is hidden and secret, and yet everywhere.
After my daughter Victoria died in 2013 in the DC area, we finally moved back here in 2015 and were relieved to see that though the town had changed, it’s soul had only grown stronger. Tucson is a magical place, but not really….–cough cough, it’s a hot as hell shit hole really, trust me. Don’t come here. Don’t even dream of developing here, we’ll kill you and bury you in the desert, Mr. Developers. Yeah, that’s it, this place really sucks…yeah.
I’d like to turn your post around on Australia, if that is where the sunscreen comes from. Let’s give their turf a turn about, and a run for it’s Money! Cannes and Port Douglas on the East coast are accessible by the railway and they are BEAUTIFUL! Port Douglas provides 4 Mile Beach, and access by boat to the great barrier reef for snorkeling and diving, lots of sunscreen needed there! It’s relaxing, amazing, and stunningly inviting and beautiful. Dinner at the corner pubs and diners is exquisite after a long day of sunshine, Lizard screen, and water, and a few beers and shrimps don’t hurt.
Back in the day (1990) women had to fight their way up to the bar to order beers, I hope they are more civilized now. 🙂 Honestly, please? Share the beer mates.
I remember my trip with great joy and appreciation for having seen and felt all of that. The Mango groves, the sand, the vast and gorgeous ocean, the scary deadly things lurking in every corner to kill you but never actually showing up to do so. The kind people, the lovely Sun, the beauty, and the amazing friendliness of every Australian you will meet. Nice Humans.
Every American will LOVE Australia. They are perhaps the only people on Earth who can truly tolerate us Americans, after all.
So SSSSSHHHHHH about Tucson and Arizona, let us lie low here, we are happy with our little paradise, and it does get hot as hell here in the summer. You are always welcome here, come in cooler times. 🙂
Let’s hype Australia, which will make everyone happy! It’s incredibly lovely.
Tamara
Lately, I’ve been taking many urgent trips to the bathroom. The canyon toilet water looks like something out of the French Alps compared to the mess over here. When I look in the toilet, all I see is a kid who used all of the colors while painting instead of paying attention to the rules of ROYGBIV. My bf keeps mentioning a camping trip, which I’d love to do although I’m afraid I may attract some bears with my current ‘situation.’
I have been a long time fan of your blog and this made my day! Plus, it’s the first time I have actually commented on one of your posts.
So, my hubs is completely retiring from the military after 23yrs and we’re moving back home to Colorado and we were discussing “Road Trips” pretty sure drinking from a toilet was never brought up but considering the signs on your road trip this might be a discussion we should have with our kids and possibly the dogs. We’re wanting to take our kids on a tour of Colorado and stop and see Skeleton Horses of Guffey, Colorado. I mean who doesn’t want to see skeleton horses in a town whose mayor is a BIg Black Cat?
That reflective cave thing looks amazingly beautiful. I would like to to Astoria or Portland. I mean, I think they let you drink out of the toilets in Oregon, unlike that stuffy Grand Canyon place.
I would like to go visit my sister in Philadelphia, where she just moved, & I think the liberty bell is there? But I’d also get an authentic Philly cheesesteak, & probably use part of my winnings to pay for the tattoo she was supposed to get to match the one I got last time I went to visit her when she tricked me into getting a tattoo.
That last comment about the failed sister tattoos & Philadelphia? That was mine, but I accidentally posted it anonymously. It’s gotta be my sister’s fault somehow.
Favorite campy road trip in Arizona was the Goldfield Ghost Town. I have a photo of husband and daughter holding fake sticks of dynamite.
I love road trips to see oddball things. I’ve been to The Spam Museum(twice actually), the Jello Museum, and the Largest Ball of Twine in Minnesot (cue Weird Al song). This summer is the last summer both of my stepdaughters will be loving at home, so an epic road trip would be awesome.
My husband and I have been to Ripley’s Believe it or Not Museums in at least three (maybe more??) states. Would like to take the kids to visit some of them. We would also love to take the family on a tour of the M&M factory in Tennessee but they don’t give tours so it might not end well……
I’d like to take my five year old daughter on a whimsical road trip to see a hot air balloon festival, and take a ride up in one. Then we’d continue on until we hit firefly country. I haven’t seen fireflies since I was a kid, and it’s such a magical memory for me. Hot air balloons + fireflies = whimsical road trip. ✨
I’d like, no want, no NEED to go to Graceland!
Thanks Jenny and Blue Lizard:)
I’m going on a road trip in a month from Phoenix to new Hampshire to celebrate my best friends wedding and I’m most excited to see an ice cream place in PA that has a trex pulling an Amish buggy. It’s going to be amazing.
My 4-year-old granddaughter lives with me, and I’ve promised her a trip to a beach at an ocean this summer. I still don’t know how I’m going to manage it, but if a kid wants to see the ocean and play on beach, I think she should have someone in her life who is willing to make it happen. Redheads like me need lots of sunscreen on the beach though, so I’m kind of hoping she’ll want to see it at night. Or maybe I could just get a good sunscreen!
I have two kids who are both obsessed with ghost stories and history. I’d love to take both of them to New Orleans to explore the city and take a tour. It’s one of those places I used to drive to all the time as a teenager and I haven’t taken either of them (14 and 8) because single mom life. It’s also the complete opposite of where we live (Portland, OR) which sounds so dreamy after this grey and cold rain filled winter we’ve had.
I would take my kids for a tour of Maine, stopping wherever we felt like. Thanks for the chance to win!
I loved this post! It brought back many happy memories of similar travels for me. Im planning my next getaway: Roadtrip from DC to Dollywood – I can’t believe I’ve never been! – blue highways all the way, with a side trip through the Smokie Mountains. All the while consulting my Roadside America app so as not to miss the giant Pioneer turned Pirate statue and other such treasures along the way. Remembering not to drink from toilets. And applying liberal amounts of sunscreen, of course. Thank you!
Wow, what timing! I just purchased a little book describing all the museums/collections in my own city – Portland, OR. I’m totally bummed that I didn’t get to the 24 Church of Elvis before it closed (I really wanted to renew my vows there), and I didn’t see the Velveteria Museum (black velvet paintings) until it’s final week of existence, so I really need to do a bus/foot tour of these places so I don’t lose out! According to the book, we have the Bathtub Art Museum, Vacuum Cleaner Museum, the Clown Room, the pint sized puppet museum, and, best of all, the Peculiarium (Bigfoot, UFO’s, etc.) . Oh, and I can renew my vows (legally) at VooDoo Doughnuts, and have a doughnut cake to boot (if an ex-spouse/lover is in the picture, you can have a voodoo doughnut with a pretzel stake through the heart).
My dream trip, though, is to drive as much as I can of the old Route 66, stopping at whatever cool things are along the way. Maybe even stay in some of the old motels if they are there. I’ve been to both ends of the route (Santa Monica and Chicago), I just need to do the rest. Since the only way for me to do this is by convertible in the summer, I will need a boatload of Blue Lizard!
I believe time and money well spent would be to take a trip to the upper peninsula of Michigan to see Big Gus, the world’s largest working chainsaw. Awesome roadside attraction. https://youtu.be/M6X00iZTYbk
My wife and I have been thinking of taking a trip through Darjeeling, India to Nepal and finally ending in Tibet. Last time we planned a Tibet trip, the Chinese government cracked down on tours and we missed the cut-off by a week.
I would love to go to New Orleans and check out one of those funeral processions. I think New Orleans is so eccentric and eclectic there is so much history and secrets and spooky macabre stuff. It is definitely a place I wanna see. Great contest btw
We’re not supposed to drink toilet water?? And here I always thought it had just the best little zing to it… something so… fragrant… All I want out of a vacation is for my boyfriend to NOT turn into a tomato. The poor guy is so pale he turned into a tomato to a trip to Seattle…in April.Is that even possible? Does Blue Lizard work on almost vampires? What about almost vampires thinking about venturing to some seriously bad ass ruins in Cancun to see where people were sacrificed and had their hearts ripped out of them, after which casually enjoying crappy margaritas on the beach? I think my tomato would still have to wear a T-shirt. And a hat. Poor guy.
My kids need to get out of BFE Idaho more often. I’d like to put each of them in front of a map with a pin and let them randomly choose a destination for a big family roadtrip. It doesn’t matter where you go, you can always find weird/awesome shit!
Hmmm, I’d like to take the family to that place where we are not on the brink of insanity and we all just get along-sisters not bickering over craziness, husband not cranky and studying in the passenger seat (graduate school — past three years…). Maybe a little beach sunshine might do it. San Diego? Baja? ??
I would like to go to Asheville, North Carolina for a moonshine tour 🙂
I would love to go back to Thunder Rock in Boone, NC. That is where my sisters and I scattered my mom’s ashes (quite illegally I must add). I would also love to see The Thing. Mostly because I grew up in Arizona and we weren’t allowed to do frivolous things on road trips!
Side note – Blue Lizard is fantastic! It is pretty pricey but it is one of the very few sunscreens that keep my fair skinned son from getting burned. The coupon is perfect timing because it is time to stock up for summer camp!
I LOVED the Grand Canyon. Every viewpoint, every time of day. A different view. Gorgeous. I feel the same way about Niagara Falls. I would love to see either of them again : )
I once wrote an essay about how the petrified forest was the greatest
disappointment in my youth. We drove from FL to see that lame ass “forest”.
I cannot use enough hand quotes on that last word. It still hold the top spot on my list of disappointments,
and I’m 41, so I guess I’m doing ok in life. That Pistacio nut, however, looked like 100 kinds of awesome!
One of the highlights of our last trip to Australia was seeing the Big Banana at Coffs Harbour. This time we’re hoping to see the little penguins at Phillip Island! Can’t wait!
I would probably go back to Florida. I know is it’s not exotic or Grand Canyon-esque but it’s close to Cuba and Jamaica and who knows what could happen there. Plus, where else can you really utilize sunblock, if not Florida in July…..? plus there’s a famous person or two, I’d like to stalk while I’m there….and you could make it all happen!
I would love to re-create your trip. Except that I would see the penis rock (because PENIS!) and skip the worst margarita (because life is too short for bad margaritas).
Hey there, I would LOVE to visit the Grand Canyon, among tons of other places. Love Blue Lizard too-our favorite!
Hello! I hope you are having a nice day with the weather being cool and all. I just wanted to tell you that you are such an inspiration to me and I can really truly relate to your stories. I am currently reading Furiously Happy in my sophomore English class and it has given me so many coping skills that have helped me to actually manage throughout the day. I also suffer a plethora of mental issues and often find it so agonizing to try and keep my cool. Thank you so much for sharing your life’s story with the world and letting others like me thrive. Have a cool whatever-time-of-day you are looking at this! (:
I want to go to Seattle to visit a friend and eat from lots of food trucks and see the Space Needle!
I don’t have any plans for a trip as amazing as yours, but I’ve already taken my sons to as many holes in the ground as we could get to in the southeast when they were young and had no choice in the matter. However, with $500 I could be persuaded to get in my car and drive around Alabama and enjoy some of the many hole in the wall barbecue places that I usually miss because I stay on the interstate when I travel. Time to rethink my trip planning from getting from point A to point B, to getting from point A to crazy, cool things between it and point B, and then point B when I’ve had too much fun.
Where would I go with my favorite people? On a road trip to knock out as many of the MLB ballparks as I possibly could….baseball got me through cancer treatment and recovery. I was diagnosed in 2012….and watching my beloved Sox in 2013 is what got me through treatment.
Seeing a game at every MLB park has always been on my bucket list.
So….where would I go? Philly, Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Cinci, and Minnesota. The sun on my (properly sunscreened) face, Crackerjack, and the Boys of Summer. What could possibly be better than that?
And I’d stop at Paisley Park, at the end and pay my respects to Mr. Nelson. Because as he said, “two people in love, with nothin’ but the road ahead…”. Me, my hubby, and my teenage boys. And baseball. Fuck cancer, man. Go Sox!
Tokyo Disneyland (I know you won’t judge me on this one since I met you at the Japan pavilion in Epcot)
I lost my job a few months ago, so we had to cancel our vacation. Our 5 year old daughter is bummed. Now we are likely moving out of state for work, so I’d love to take a farewell roadtrip around the state. There are 14 national wildlife refuges here in Mississippi (who knew??). I bet we could hit up at least half over a long weekend! It would be awesome to associate this time in our lives with some good memories of fresh air and delightfully creepy small town b&bs 🙂
I want to go to Greece for our honeymoon that we were supposed to take 2 years ago. Although I won’t be able to tell people that not having taken our honeymoon is the reason we haven’t had babies yet. Can we go to Greece but not tell my mother in law?
GARLIC FESTIVAL!!! In Gilroy, California…because garlic, duh. Vampires don’t fuck with me, plus it is damn delicious. I am also dying to go to Electric Forest in Rothbury, Michigan. Hippies, drugs, mother nature, flashing lights, robot sex music…what more could you want? SEND ME HOME PLEASE.
I want to go visit the biggest ball of twine! Who does, really?
I am now kicking myself (not trying to double enter) but I want to see the largest ball of twine…and then noticed a typo so it looks like I don’t want to go instead of saying Who doesn’t want to go–as in who doesn’t really want to see that. …And now I’ve spent entirely too long trying to edit and/or post a new comment so I don’t look like a jerk who isn’t interested in twine.
All that aside, you should look up the Madonna Inn in California. I have a feeling you’d like it. 🙂
I would use the $500 to road trip to the Grand Canyon (I’m not stealing your idea! But I should have because it was an amazing idea . . . and you’re an amazing person . . . and, um, you have lots of ideas worth stealing . . . and, yes, fine, yes, I am stealing your idea, but you don’t own the hole!). I’ve always wanted to go out on the Skywalk where you can look directly down into the canyon and see (your life flash in front of your eyes) the bottom.
Hai, may I ask the app you’re using in the penis rock screen cap? That looks like it could help me search out some randomly awesome new things.
Doesn’t the Grand Canyon look like a giant backdrop? Even when you’re there looking at it in person, it still looks totally fake. It’s so weird.
You know where I want to go on a road trip? To Colorado to the STANLEY HOTEL. Talk about the ultimate ghost hunt. Even though I heard they aren’t doing that anymore. BUT STILL.
I’d like to see the Andes Mountains. I don’t know what else is in South America, that’s the only thing that comes to mind.
I want to see the bats fly out from under the bridge in Austin. This is a thing.
I am mostly excited about planning a trip that just gets to be titles our fucked up family trip to see fucked up things. Because then I am allowed to curse in front of my three and one year old the whole time and use my favorite curse word- Fuck. Also- traveling with small children basically means everything is fucked up about the whole thing.. not just what we see! Puking in car seats, diaper blow outs, melt downs? Check, check, and CHECK. At the same time, it is getting fun to take the kids places to see new things and it’s my job as a parent to make sure its not just all beaches and national parks. Gotta get them some culture. Like the mystery spot in santa cruz. They can not be raised properly without a road trip to see that.
Hi, I want to go to Hershey and eat all the chocolate. Mostly because I’m pregnant and all I want is chocolate, but it seems like a good life goal, right?
The Gateway to Hell in Turkmenistan.
OMG! Not vacation related, but please please please make something in your shop with the ostrich pic and #restingtrumpface!! Coffee mug, bumper sticker, ANYTHING!!! <3
OMG! Not vacation related, but please please please make something in your shop with the ostrich pic and #restingtrumpface!! Coffee mug, bumper sticker, ANYTHING!!! <3
My young daughter inherited the wanderlust from me and we love to explore whenever we can. As a single mom, I don’t often have the means to wander too far from home base but we’ve had our eye on the charming town of Helen, Georgia for a while.
The giant redwoods in Sequoia National Forest is on my bucket list. Also the Great Northwest & Rockies trip on the American Orient Express would be about eighteen kinds of awesome.
My husband is a farmer who rescues horses and trains them with natural horsemanship. I’d love to go to Maryland to Assateague state park. One, because the name cracks me up, but also so my husband, son and I could sunbathe next to the wild horses. And I could try to convince him to hop over to chincoteague island which is the virginia side of the beach for their wild horse roundup and auction and POSSIBLY buy all the horses. And obviously use Blue Lizard Sunscreen because I’m Irish and I’d turn into an angry lobster otherwise!
I think a lizard covered in lotion should sponsor my trip to the Outer Banks because there is nothing a lizard likes more than sunning himself (while wearing SPF 30 of course). Also, I plan to eat lots of ice cream while I’m there and lizards love DQ Blizards! I made that last part up, but it’s in the name so it must be true. Also, I support you people (do lizards get pissed at that too?) and use Geico insurance. Other than that, I don’t know much about lizards and sunscreen always gets in my eyes and burns like hell. I’m sure your sunscreen is different though. Please Lord Lizard, Greased up Gecko, Crusty Chameleon, grant me this wish.
Roadtrips are hard with a handful of twenties
Barely enough for eating dinner at Denny’s
We’d skip the airporters
In favor of quarters
Because I love collecting smushed pennies
I’d road trip to Florida Keys to go scuba diving! We have 4 small children and my husband and i going on a trip alone sounds really good right now…..
I want one last road trip with all three kids (2 in high school and 1 in middle school). And I don’t want to look at a single college on the way. It won’t be the same when someone doesn’t have to sit in the middle!
We are planning a 2 month road trip this summer! We’re going to Yellowstone, Craters of the moon, New Orleans, The Alamo, Carlsbad Caverns, Grand Canyon, Vegas, and all the sunny sandy beaches of California. With lots of stops in between. I am lucky enough to have a great boss let me take the summer off work and still have a job to come back to, we’re moving out of one apt in June, and then into another in Sept when we return (to save $ on rent while we’re out) this GC could definitely help avoid a few pb&j meals while we’re on the road. $ will be tight, but darn it – the kids deserve this and so do I!! We’ve recently learned you can’t wait to make memories, because nobody knows where anybody will be when “things settle down” or when “we have more savings” we’ve got to live while we can!!!!
Thanks
Not too far from my home city up here in Canada there is the World Famous Gopher Hole Museum in Torrington, Alberta. Dioramas of gophers dressed up in costume are on display and it’s a place I’ve wanted to see for years. Looking forward to making a day trip up there this summer. Because what could be better than roadkill gophers wearing dresses or cowboy hats!? 🙂
http://gopherholemuseum.ca/
I would like to see the Fremont Troll in Seattle as well as whatever other funky stuff Seattle has to offer. My brother and his wife have been, but my husband and I haven’t, and I still don’t like it when my brother has done things that I haven’t.
I don’t know if I’m too late for this, but I totally want to go see Crater Lake. It’s a collapsed volcano in Oregon that has filled with rain water, and from the pictures it’s the most gorgeous clear blue lake ever. I know it’s not ridiculous, but still think it’s pretty awesome. There might even be a Yeti along the way!
I’d like to take the family to visit the beach. Any good beach. The Keys maybe. St. George Island would be good, too. Maybe St. Augustine. Anyplace except where The Mouse lives. For the love of God, no more Disney World!
I desperately want to take the boy to Yellowstone cause all he does is complain about the lack of trees in New York (where we live) and Wyoming is like the tree-est place ever. Also, I want to ride a buffalo. They let you do that right?
I want to take my family to New York City. My poor children have never seen a “real” city and when they see the 2 high rise buildings in the downtown of the city we live in, they screech, “It’s New York City!” I want to show them what a real city skyline looks like.
Did you know there’s a Paul Bunyan made of car parts in Michigan? I did not. And it excites me because I grew up in Minnesota and visited Paul Bunyan Land in Brainerd for a family vacation. It would really rock to have both a picture in front of the “real” Paul Bunyan and one in front of “Transformer” Paul Bunyan. And kudos to you if you read all these insane comments!
So. I’m scared of flying, even though I’ve flown before. And I love traveling, but with the whole flying thing, I haven’t been on a plane in (thinking, thinking) 17 years. I’ve missed some stuff. Maybe it’s like a Band-Aid, just rip it off and get on one. I should probably just do it, and take my husband to Italy, since he’s never been to Europe and planned to go with his mom and never got to before she died.
AREA 51 — BECAUSE ALIENS!!!
My son (now 7) and I have been taking “Adventure Road Trips” since he was very little, usually to World’s Largest things or just the weirdest thing within a day’s driving distance of our home (in South Carolina and Georgia). We’ve seen the World’s Largest Office Chair, Dining Room Chair, Chest of Drawers, and Highboy Dresser, and been to the Peanut Monument, The Peachoid (known to me in high school as the “Peach Butt” and on “House of Cards” as a couple less family-friendly things), and Pigeon Forge, Tennessee (the whole town counts as weird).
For Mother’s Day, my boyfriend and he took me to see The Big Red Apple (well titled, as it was just a big red apple), Statue of the World’s Strongest Man (a title bestowed, I am guessing, regionally with little actual international competition), and the 20 Foot Tall Rabbit (which was a lie – the entire statute, which was inexplicably placed outside a vacant strip mall and sad little gas station, was about 20 feet, but the Rabbit itself was maybe 8 to 10 of those feet, but as it was my Mother’s Day gift I felt I would come across as ungrateful if I aired my complaints out loud).
My dream is to take a road trip from Atlanta (where I now live — I’d probably start somewhere else if I happen to move) to California on local highways because awesomely strange things are found off the beaten path. Naturally, as I have explained to my son, Area 51 would have to be on the list of stops we’d make. When he asked why, I told him, “BECAUSE ALIENS.” He was not impressed and did not seem to believe there had been aliens for real at all, so I showed him “Independence Day,” explained “The Bill Pullman President would not lie.”
(Now, I’ve added the World’s Largest Pistachio Nut to the agenda – thanks for the review. I showed it to him and he seemed more impressed with the giant nut than the prospect of learning that We Are Not Alone, but if it gets him into the car when the time comes for the trip, I’m all rainbows and sparkles.)
I’ve ALWAYS wanted to go see House on the Rock ever since I read American Gods when I was 14 but I didn’t realize it was a real place until I’d lived in Wisconsin for three years. Now I’ve lived in Wisconsin for almost ten and I STILL haven’t gone to see House on the Rock and I can only assume that’s because I’ve never used Blue Lizard…but damn straight, you can bet that’s about to change.
So I have a world map that my sister gave me where you can scratch off the places that you’ve visited. My family took a vacation to Colorado when I was eleven so I scratched that off. However, I accidentally scratched off Wyoming instead so now it’s my current life goal to visit Wyoming to make the map accurate. So that’s where I would go.
Since Victor prevented you from seeing the flaccid penis rock, I’d go to Cappadocia, Turkey and take a “road trip” over the “fairy chimneys” … and by “road trip” I mean “hot air balloon ride” and by “fairy chimneys” I mean “giant erect penis rocks”. So basically I’d go to see Turkey penises from the air and take pictures for you. I’d need lots of Blue Lizard sunscreen because I’d be up in the air closer to the sun. Also I’d buy you some Cappadocia pottery as a souvenir in case they don’t sell it anymore on QVC. You’re welcome in advance.
Dear Jenny,
My lifelong dream is to do a road trip in the Wienermobile. How awesome would that be? It’s like a giant RV full of 15% pork and 85% surprise! Haven’t you ever wondered what’s in the back? Are there hammocks shaped like hot dog buns and a giant sausage you can ride (6 seconds)? All this and more I will find out on my Wienertour!
Maybe they’ll let me drive. I’ll totally wear my sports bra and take it off roading. $500 worth of hot dogs is roughly 8,562 dogs so I can feed the whole crew.
Think about it.
This is amazing. I love vacations and have a million children (4 to be precise) who are sad Seattle Pale. We would Lizard all over them for safety and stuff. Love it.
So Arizona is, like, really far away. And evidently has lots of dust swirling around? Not appealing. But do you know what Pennsylvania has? THE GRAND CANYON (of Pennsylvania). That’s right, folks; there’s no need to go to Arizona and avoid the toilet water in order to see the Grand Canyon, you can go to the GRAND CANYON (of Pennsylvania) without going anywhere near Jan Brewer! Evidently there are bald eagles, river otters, gorgeous forests, lots of trails, and amazing scenic views. I’ve wanted to go for a while.
I want to take my Mom and sister to Savannah, GA to go on ghost tours in big belle dresses!
I would love to take my husband and step daughter to City Museum in St Louis. We’ve been wanting to do that for years now but money and timing never quite work out. Kidlet is about to graduate high school so this would be a fantastic time to do it! http://www.citymuseum.org/
Please don’t think I’m weird (well, look who I’m talking to) but I have GOT to stay at the bed and breakfast that is the LIZZIE BORDEN HOUSE in Massachusetts. Double fun because my husband is terrified of all such things and would want to ax murder me on his own if forced to stay there. It’s a win/win.
http://hercynfulthoughts.blogspot.com/2016/05/cup-size-matters.html
Six-ton concrete prairie dog in South Dakota.
http://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/3865
For some reason I thought you said to write a poem. So I wrote a real cool limerick in my head but forgot part of it before it came out my fingers. So sad!!! Wasted words that floated away…and a limerick, at that! – the Cadillac of poetry!
I want to see: Walden Pond, Salem Pirate museum, Redwood Library [the first borrowing library in the country!], Yale’s famed secret societies tour, Fort Adams the largest coastal fortification in the US, and any wax museum I can find! They creep me out, but in a FUN way! I’m trying to plan a trip to New England for my 5th wedding anniversary this October, but there are some cartoon moths flying out of my wallet! [I also need to refill my Xanax so I survive the car ride!] It shall happen! I will see all of the things!
With $500 bucks, I would drive to Vegas and bask in the awesome of its desert and mountains. But most importantly, not gonna lie, I would be going for the Canadian sing bird a.k.a Celine Dion
THE best comment (see I followed the contest entry directions). stillblondeafteralltheseyears@gmail.com
Top of the list is the Mutter Museum in Ohiladelphia!
Thank you so much! I am so excited and jumping for joy. And to be honest, I am a little star stuck. I keep saying, “The Bloggess read about our road trip. And she liked it. She really liked it.” Best.Summer.Ever. And it is just beginning.
Thanks for the Contact reference…
Why would anyone wonder why trains exist? I thought Jenny was an expert on “awsomeness”.
Also, in defense of the GCRR they do have “booze” service, Check out their website and see…https://www.thetrain.com/the-train/
In high school and college, I was busy with band ad school, and I had missed out on the umpteen road trips my family took to see our cousins in Marietta, OH. When I finally was driving with my folks back to Massachusetts, I flipped out and made them drive me an hour out of the way to see the Big Muskie Bucket. I was 26 years old. Here’s a pic: https://scontent-lga3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/t31.0-8/1093838_10201085922005529_2069983792_o.jpg
Catching up on my reading and came across this post. OMG, I could have warned you against The Thing! I’m from AZ but live in TX and for YEARS debated on stopping to see it during my trips home and back. Finally gave in a few years ago and my hubs and my reactions were the same as Victor’s! I STILL want my $2 back…
I never post comments – but holy shit – this was an amazing post. so fun!
Ha – I came across this blog by trying to find the punchline to a joke, “So a guy walks into a bar with a big sign that says, ‘no lizards’. ” – turned out to be a terribly stupid joke, not even one of those beautifully stupid ones. But I’m glad I found your blog! You have great writing skills, and wow the pink borders on your blog sure are pink! This post reminds me of growing up in Central Utah and the boredom-inspired road trips we took every summer (except for the pink, Utah didn’t get pink until mid 90’s).
Ok.65 almost 66 female, drop everything, not change the world,change us, we are free,time to be free! Prefer male companion, no users ,losers,pay your own way! Which Sybil, do you wish to speak to?
I luv that I don’t need an account bc F that noise.
More than that, I luv u. I luv that I can read an “old” post of urs & feel like I’m about to win a contest even tho I know I am late to the party.
I’ve read Let’s Pretend & Furiously Happy books & am a big fan.
Anyway, HEY & I’m inspired to take a similar trip w my family now. However, we’re starting a little further east. Savannah GA 😬
Keep on keepin’ on. Ur one of my heroes/heros. No pressure, I have others!✌️❤️
F that noise was me👆 Obv IDK how to work the interweb bc it posted bf I IDd myself. I ❤️ u, so it’s important that I take care of that. Hence this 2nd comment.👍
Maybe it’s not mobile friendly …
Jennifer
jenandchris1998@yahoo.com
I don’t hv a website so we’re good there.
What an informative post! Your blog post contains lot of knowledge. Thanks for sharing it with us.
Once I initially commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I get four emails with the identical comment. Is there any means you’ll be able to remove me from that service? Thanks!
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