He doesn’t even have testicles.

If you’ve been reading here you already know that I’ve been in a weird spot lately and (as usual) the darkness in my head jumpstarts my Impulse Control Disorder which (in short) means my hands try to destroy me.  So last night I had to give my hands something to distract themselves so I grabbed my sketchbook and decided to do a bunch of studies of the cats, but the cats were like “What are you doing?  Why are you staring at us like that.  Stop holding me down.  You’re seriously creeping us out, crazy.” And they wouldn’t stay in one position long enough so I had to keep starting over again with their new poses, and then Victor looked over my shoulder and was like, “Um…are you okay?” because it looked like I was sketching pictures of dismembered cats.  But then Ferris Mewler started cleaning his junk and then he sort of forgot he was cleaning himself, or maybe he was just comfortable but either way he finally stayed in position and glared at me long enough for me to complete a drawing.

I call it “God Grant Me the Immutable Self-Confidence of Cats.”

bloggessdoodlecat

When I was done I showed it to Ferris.

wtf

“WTF. Is that supposed to be me?”

He wasn’t impressed.

Nailed it.

“Fuck you, lady.”

Nailed it.

145 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Hahahaha! Cats never are impressed with what we humans do. Well, I like the sketch.

    Also, my cat gives me that same look all the time!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It’s like a cat mirror. The paper ate his feline soul and he’s pissed.

    Like

    DayLeeFix recently posted WCW: Teagan.

  3. Are cats ever impressed? You could’ve went all Jack/Rose/Titanic-drawing up in that room, and the cat would still be like, “Meh.”

    Liked by 3 people

    bekahrigby recently posted The #1 Reason I Need A Kid Is....

  4. Haha, amazing! You got his eyes and expression perfectly.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. omg the face, the expression, it’s PERFECT! (“purrfect” is too cute for that expression)

    Like

  6. Maybe that’s how Picasso got his start.

    Like

  7. You really captured his withering glare.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You definitely caught the attitude in that one. Our boy sits like that sometimes, too. He is also lacking in the testicle department. Maybe they’re dreaming of days of testes past.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I would totally buy a tee shirt with this cat drawing and the slogan: God Grant Me the Immutable Self-Confidence of Cats because. Life. Kinda says it all, I think. Thanks for always making us laugh. Even when you hurt. Sending light and hoping it finds you soon.

    Liked by 3 people

    marydpierce recently posted Breath.

  10. My eyes are inexplicably, and rather embarrassingly drawn to the x.

    Liked by 6 people

    OwnLessDoMore.us recently posted Screw it. I’ve got to get through these days somehow..

  11. OMG that would be purrfect on a tshirt. I would wear the shit out of that!
    take all my money

    Liked by 1 person

  12. 12
    Roberta Jones

    Awesome. I have cats. It’s perfect.

    Like

  13. He appears to be genuinely studying the drawing in the first pic. Lol. But, yeah. So not impressed. But then, what does a guy who licks his own junk know about art anyway, FERRIS?? 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  14. 14
    Major Bedhead

    I need a print of that. And maybe a t-shirt. That’s perfection.

    Like

  15. Nice drawing and that could totally be a great shirt 😀

    Like

  16. But I mean… The face you got PERFECTLY

    Like

  17. 17
    Cathy Tavangariannumber RR320542635IN

    I second the t-shirt wish. Make it happen in your store, Jenny!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Gotta agree, that is perfect and would make a great T-shirt!

    Like

  19. Ignore that big-ass number after my name. Clumsy fingers on a tiny keyboard!

    Like

  20. So, that’s going into the 2017 calendar, right?

    Like

    Kelly and Geoff recently posted In Memoriam – Buckminster Charles Hopkins-Michael III, Esq..

  21. Nailed it indeed!

    Like

  22. You have captured his expression perfectly!

    Like

  23. I see a line of stuffed kitties in that pose. Maybe a neck warmer.

    Liked by 1 person

    digbydigz recently posted Seek and Ye Shall Find the Joy.

  24. I literally almost just died laughing

    Like

  25. I mean this in the most sincere way; you nailed that cat’s anus.

    Liked by 2 people

  26. I would SO buy a shirt with that design on it! I fourth or fifth this idea.

    Like

  27. I so needed comic relief today… You absolutely did nail it. lol
    Thank you for sharing this!😀

    Like

  28. My neutered male cat, Louis J. McGuffey, Attorney at Law, also sits like this. His face seems to be saying “Look at my hole, human servant. Admire my ball-less wonderment.” His sister, Fluffer Nutter, Stealer of Souls, will sit like this but she just appears to be missing her job in the red light district of Amsterdam.

    Liked by 1 person

    thesleepybeagle recently posted Vacation Antics: Part 1.

  29. That is an amazing portrait!

    Yesterday my cat wanted to be scritched while I was working, and he bonked his head into my mouse hand so hard that he moved a section of the report around. He could not have cared less, either; he was all, “Scratch the head! Now!”

    Like

  30. Ok, you totally nailed his expression lol, also I love the little x on his behind because it makes me think of that cat game that I downloaded because you recommended it.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Brilliant! (Note: sometimes I say things in my head with a British accent so I sound more interesting.)

    I cannot draw as well as that, so I stick to my coloring books.

    Like

    Quirky Chrissy recently posted I Just Want to be Perfect.

  32. 32
    Monique Rowe

    Somedays I wish I hanged out with Ferris Mewler and the cat gang for the day. They are too funny. Ferris nails the “fuck you” looks all the time!

    Like

  33. How do you always bring a smile to my face, even during the times that you’re not feeling it yourself. Thank you.

    Like

  34. Enough people have asked for the t-shirts that I think you’re legally obligated to do them. Could I get a tote bag? I just wanna use it every time I’m taking shit over to a friend’s house (returning the mini crock pot, loaning a game, whatever). I’m picturing their faces as they try not to stare at my cat bag and just have a normal conversation, and it’s AWESOME. In my mind, I keep asking them for a glass of iced tea or something, and then moving the bag so they’re surprised by it anew when they return.

    I am an awful friend.

    Liked by 3 people

    actualconversationswithmyhusband recently posted Fourteen Days To Fifty.

  35. 35
    Carol Anne Fusco

    I zillionth the tee shirt idea. And I send you love. Even in a dark place,you create something wonderful and increase the goodness in the universe. Love you.

    Like

  36. 36
    Jenni (aka Sassypants)

    Wow, you really got his unimpressed/pissed off look down pat!

    Like

  37. Love the X. Did you consider an asterisk?

    Like

    Janet Coburn recently posted Better Than a Flying Toaster.

  38. My cat does that too. Seriously, don’t lick your butt in my peripheral vision and then glare at me when I look. Spot on drawing!

    Like

  39. You got the stare/glare perfectly

    Like

    Gary Lum recently posted Monday link love.

  40. Nice cross-hatching, my dear!

    Like

  41. Nailed his glare. My cat does this thing in the morning when he wants me to get up and fed him. He lays next to me putting his butt in my face cause he knows I hate it and will move him which wakes me up. The jerk.

    Like

  42. You made me smile! Love it!

    Like

  43. 44
    Anonymous

    Well done!

    Like

  44. That! is a classic cat post – specifically male cats. Not sure why, but. Yes.🙂

    Like

  45. *pose, not post!

    Like

  46. My cat’s asshole is more like a little star. But the glare is the same.

    Like

    notquiteold recently posted Infinite Monkey Theorem.

  47. Ahhhh, the old kitty b-hole shot. Classic! 😹

    Like

  48. a fine drawing, to be sure, but the reason he wasn’t impressed is obvious (besides the fact that he’s a cat…). You left the M off. Every tabby has an M on his/her forhead. Just sayin’….

    Like

  49. Cats are just assholes sometimes. They remind me of my teenage boys! My cat’s name is Toonces. How come nobody knows who that is??? Was I the only one home every Saturday night in the 90’s watching SNL??????

    Liked by 1 person

  50. Nailed it indeed! I get that expression from my boy, Cool Hand Luke, when I force cuddles on him. I tell him I know he’s pissed, but that is price to be paid to the crazy cat lady that keeps him so pampered.

    Like

  51. 52
    Michele West

    Jenny, because I love you so dearly and you do so much to make my life better, I’m going to return the favor by sharing this profound video with you. It’s by comedian Mike Polk Jr. (FAVORITE comedian from here in Cleveland). Watch it, love it, join me in being addicted to everything this guy produces. https://youtu.be/kWEdMx87jn0

    Like

  52. Of course we all know the real story going on here is the cat thinking “get that drawing book off my damn cushion right now, or I start disassembling small creatures on the kitchen floor”.

    Like

  53. I just love this picture..reminds me of my dear little Spencer who is not here anymore…he always looked at me that way…

    Like

    The Hellion recently posted I Remember Every Lyric To Songs From 50 Years Ago….

  54. 55
    ocularnervosa

    My cat once took a poop on a drawing so I’d consider just getting a look a good review.

    Like

  55. I love Ferris Mewler, despite his glaring and swearing. He embodies every cat I have ever had, and makes me wish I still had one. You captured him perfectly.

    Like

  56. That last picture they have the EXACT same expression oh my god. I’m over her laughing in my corner cubicle but I can’t explain to anybody because I don’t think they’ll understand “Look at this spitting image of a cat annoyed that someone drew him cleaning his nonexistent junk!”

    And I think they already think I’m weird enough as it is…

    Like

    nerril recently posted Periods..

  57. oh, he is PISSED… lol. my two boy cats do this all the time, too.

    Like

  58. Good job, although he looks like he’s doing some kind of weird cat gymnastics. I think that’s a back layout or something. Score of 10.

    Like

  59. 61
    Anonymous

    God you crack me up, thank you!

    Like

  60. Ha, mine is currently trying to lick my screen. WHY MUST THEY ENSLAVE US THIS WAY?

    Like

  61. I, for one, would LOVE to see this as a journal cover. 🙂

    Like

  62. 64
    Alice_Fraggle

    Love it!

    Like

  63. I want that on a mug. A big one. Kudos for wresting beauty and laughter from your time of chaos!

    Like

  64. “Fuck you lady”. I swear my cat says that to me 10 times an hour.

    Like

  65. Good god, I love cats. And your sketch. I would totally buy it. Separately, or in a calendar with more of your fantastic doodles

    Like

  66. There’s already an emoji for your cat’s expression.
    😾
    So funny, I really do hope you turn it into a shirt.

    Like

  67. This is fabulous. You nailed the facial expression purrfectly! (I love puns) Jenny, after reading your first book, I was inspired to create my own blog. I love how open you are with your mental health, I think that’s what the world needs more of. Cats and those who are understanding with mental health.

    Like

  68. 70
    Anonymous

    New idea for your store- and to keep your hands busy too, socks with your raccoon on each side. Please, please, please.
    Cats are OK but this would be my idea of absolutely the best wardrobe gift ever.

    Like

  69. Aaaaaaah! Priceless!
    Now I need a bowlderized version of your page so I can show my cat-crazy gradeschooler your wondrousness without upsetting her father by teaching her to curse like a sailor<\strike> like me.
    (I know bowlderized stuff isn’t quite the same…I devoured Greek mythology in grade school before realizing that they were rewritten for suburban sensibilities about what children should know. The silliest bit was that Persephone got into trouble for eating grapefruit wedges…)

    Like

  70. Obviously i just failed html 101. Feel free to delete that… here is take two, hopefully with that strikeout fixed.

    Aaaaaaah! Priceless!
    Now I need a bowlderized version of your page so I can show my cat-crazy gradeschooler your wondrousness without upsetting her father by teaching her to curse like a sailor like me.
    (I know bowlderized stuff isn’t quite the same…I devoured Greek mythology in grade school before realizing that they were rewritten for suburban sensibilities about what children should know. The silliest bit was that Persephone got into trouble for eating grapefruit wedges…)

    Like

  71. He’s pissed off because he doesn’t have the balls to speak up for himself.🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    sjhebig recently posted Help Wanted – Be In The Know While Online Dating.

  72. coughcoloringbookahem

    So cool. I can feel the icy judgemental stare. Brr…

    I hope you find the light soon. ❤

    Like

  73. It’s not weird at all that I know which of the menagerie, two Huskies, two cats, one Bassett Hound, are old souls and which are new. Nope, not weird at all……..

    Like

  74. 76
    Blue Eyed Devil

    That artwork needs to be on a T-shirt. I’d wear it.

    Like

  75. Like many others posted, that needs to be a shirt. If you do make a shirt, please make it in fat sizes!

    Like

  76. Love❣

    Like

  77. Yes. I want to add to my Blogess collection! DO IT! xoxo and hope you are getting by ok!

    Like

  78. Cats! I love them! They are complete assholes but so lovable. I can’t wait for mine to grow up enough that I don’t have to spend every waking moment playing with her. Love the drawing! I’d like it as clipart. I would put it on all my snail mail envelopes. And maybe even as a screen saver. :o)

    Liked by 1 person

    Mrs. Completely recently posted Izzie – Angry, Angry, Angry!.

  79. Wow! Great drawing. I love it, even if Ferris didn’t. Obviously he does not appreciate great artistic talent.

    Like

  80. Hilarious. Cats always make you feel dumb. “Why did you just draw me cleaning myself? “. Haha.

    Like

  81. 83
    kolisnykmila

    Umm, Jenny. Why is he wearing a fishnet on one of his paws?

    Like

  82. 84
    kolisnykmila

    Umm, Jenny. Why is he wearing fishnet on one of his paws?

    Like

  83. 85
    Curiouser & Curiouser

    Can you show us the dismembered cat parts? Maybe we can rearrange them into new kitties to play with?!!?

    Like

  84. Totally nailed it!!! : D

    Like

  85. 87
    Sara and her deer Stella Neil

    I must learn to -not- read your blog while I am sitting at the reference desk in a somewhat quiet library when I have an already loud guffaw.
    The shh-er becomes the shh-ed!
    Eh, you’re worth the awkward and hostile stares!

    Like

  86. Oh bless you for always making me truly LOL. Xoxo

    Like

  87. LMAO!! Oh Ferris…

    Like

  88. This post has given me so much joy today. I heart you Jenny and Ferris Mewler. I hope the lights come back on soon till then I’ll keep a candle lit for you.

    Like

  89. 91
    dogbreath mcfuzznutts

    If anybody was brave to get this as a tattoo, would you sign it?

    Like

  90. If only I could replicate that “i’m unamused, lady” look at work.
    Only without the awkward position and junk-licking…I mean, even if a person was boneless like a cat and could contort into any similar position without getting stuck and requiring an ambulance, that seems like something frowned upon behavior in the workplace.
    Or anywhere else.

    Like

    Jess @ NoPithyPhrase recently posted Why I Can't Ever Attend the Kentucky Derby.

  91. 93
    Supercatgrrl

    I love the sketch and Ferris’ reaction. In my experience as a feline behaviorist, that is the most impressed I’ve seen a cat look at a drawing.

    Like

  92. 94
    Impossiblegirl

    Not only did you capture his expression and inner annoyance perfectly but you just might have created the cover to your next book.

    Like

  93. Love it! Ferris might not be impressed, but we are😸

    Like

  94. If you print this t-shirt, you will make ONE MILLION DOLLARS!!!

    Like

  95. I agree with the commenters above. T-shirt please!

    Like

  96. That. Is. Awesome.

    Like

  97. 99
    Stephanie

    I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling. I know it’s hard, but keep fighting those hands. Hang in there! Sending you thoughts of love and peace in your storm.

    Like

  98. Glaringly purrfect expression! but where’s the M on his forehead?

    Like

    Tanya Goffy recently posted Poetry Anthology: Week 4.

  99. 101
    Anonymous

    That’s the cover of the next book right?

    Like

  100. 102
    Lori Evans

    Love the cat pic! But wait…by saying your hands are self-destructive, do you mean you pull your hair? Read and really enjoyed your first book, and sometimes read this site and quite often love it. Mostly I thought you were dealing with depression and anxiety? Do you also have trich? I ask because my daughter has it, and severe anxiety. But the depression came later, from trying to cope with the other 2. If you do have it, that is definitely a community that would love to hear more from you. She is starved for stories of how to cope with the fact one is stuck with a brain that does its owner disservice. She is 18 and will most likely not find a cure, but will be pulling her hair the rest of her life. I am definitely getting Furiousky Happy. Have always loved the cover and don’t know why I’ve waited this long to read it. Sorry to post something serious without a cat butt or something to lighten it up. (Btw, autocorrect just changed cat butt to carburetor on me. Just thought you’d like to know.) Thanks for being you and sharing.

    Like

  101. Please please please make this into a tshirt so I can buy one. And a mug. Please.

    Like

  102. I’m glad you kept trying to draw your cat, the sketch is awesome!

    Like

  103. 105
    Katie D.

    You guys are all awesome.

    Like

  104. 106
    Katie D.

    So is the picture.

    Like

  105. I wish I could draw. Being able to capture your cat perfectly must heal the soul. It certainly made me smile.

    Like

    Kristine @ MumRevised recently posted To My Water Dispenser, With Love.

  106. I’ve been forcing myself to draw each weekday. Drawing isn’t my strong point. It’s almost painful to make myself do it. But the results are improving all the time, and it gives me more confidence in my ability to control a handwriting implement. So, mission accomplished. Perhaps I should start drawing my attitude-filled cats, too. Might help me improve with drawing animals, which usually end up looking like aliens when I draw them now.

    Like

    Jenny Bristol recently posted I’ve Got Moxie #9: Mid-Life Redirection.

  107. I know that cat look oh so well…..

    Like

  108. Cat butthole. I would never show mine with such confidence.

    Like

    kstewand4cats recently posted First Customer.

  109. […] my Impulse Control Disorder which (in short) means my hands try to destroy me. So last … Continue reading → […]

    Like

  110. I love the X in place of his pink pucker!

    Like

  111. Perfect. Llewyn didn’t notice the lack of testicles, and neither did I.

    Like

    amberlyhasthoughts recently posted My First Week as an Unemployed Bum!.

  112. Next time you need to smile come to Tucson. We have a wildlife museum I thi k you would love. And the animals don’t move. At all.

    Like

  113. 115
    Anonymous

    More than a year old, but still the best description of cat/human communication ever:
    [credit commanderflowers & kinkshamer69]

    i wonder if my pets have like a proper language and when i try to speak back to them im just speaking jargon

    like for example my cat always speaks to me when I come home and i meow back to her and she’ll meow again & even though i don’t think twice about it to her it’s probably a situation where it’s like

    her, meowing: “im glad you’re home”

    me, meowing back: “tax benefits”

    her, meowing: “why do u always do this”

    cats actually have a human-specific language. cats don’t often meow at each other and seem to use subvocal communications that humans can’t hear to chat cat-to-cat. however, cats seem to use what humans would call “shout-until-you’re-understood” to speak to humans. so basically, it’s more like:

    “I’M GLAD YOU’RE HOME!”

    “tax benefits”

    “NO, I’M GLAD YOU ARE HOME”

    “waffle iron”

    “IT’S OKAY. I LOVE YOU TOO, MY DUMB HUMAN”

    Like

  114. Fenris — yes, a cat named after a wolf who brings down Ragnarok, what of it? — gives us that look when he’s cleaning his junk. Only, we call it his “ballspace” TM. He loves it when we call it that. I can just tell.

    Like

  115. 117
    cherylnoble

    Trust me, cats are better off without testicles (and we are too when they don’t have them) (spraying you know)

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

  116. This made me laugh more than I’d like to admit. And I needed that laugh badly. Thank you lol

    Like

  117. Well cats aren’t known for being critics so don’t worry too much.
    I think it’s purr-fect.

    Like

    Amy | Toothbrush Travels recently posted Growing Up.

  118. you captured his expression perfectly!!

    Like

  119. I am ashamed of how much I love that drawing and especially the “X” butt.

    Like

    Half a 1000 Miles recently posted The Neighborhood Weirdo.

  120. You absolutely NAILED that glare. Nice work. I think all pictures that show cats with friendly faces are absolutely lying.

    Like

    hazelhillboro recently posted Crazy Shit I’ve Done in Therapy (Episode 3).

  121. OMG you’ve captured his expression perfectly! Wow. Did you draw in pencil first or just straight to felt tip pen? It’s so neat and perfect! Your hands are super talented while being distracted.

    Like

  122. 124
    tamie parker song

    Keep going, Jenny. You won’t always feel lost or stuck. Keep going.

    Like

  123. cats are honest they make you artists,Ferris must be Impressed.

    Like

    indiahuts recently posted Monitor and Measure PPC Campaign Management.

  124. Fantastic. Cat’s have perfected ‘the withering stare’ ay.

    Like

  125. 127
    Anonymous

    I will totally buy this .

    Like

  126. 128
    Anonymous

    OMG hilarious!!!!!

    Like

  127. Draw me like one of your french kitties.

    Like

    Michelle recently posted Don’t Drain On My Parade.

  128. I suspect Ferris is NEVER impressed b/c he is way too cool for it.

    Like

  129. 131
    physicsmom

    Excellent likeness of Ferris, the expression is identical to his look in the last photo. Isn’t his butt-hole out of position? I don’t have cats anymore, but it looks a little of-center. Maybe? It must be like fingerprints, all assholes are different.

    Like

  130. 132
    Blahblahblah (that's my Dracula impression)

    I feel like that’s the exact same face I make to my husband when he says or does something extra stupid. I tell him that I’m setting him on fire with my eyes… slowly

    Like

  131. I would like to buy if you are selling.

    Like

  132. You got his face PERFECT! Nailed it, even!😄 Such crank…

    Like

  133. I think I need that on a greeting card.

    Like

  134. 136
    bluesurly

    You NAILED his expression! Love love love it🙂

    Like

  135. I just laughed at this so hard at my desk that I’m crying. Thanks.

    Like

  136. It looks just like him, Well done. I wish I could be as funny as you on my dark days. You might feel bad but you are pure sunshine to a lot of people.

    Like

  137. I saw the last picture and sang “NAILED IT!” to myself before I scrolled down to see you thought the same thing!

    Like

  138. “Paint me like one of your demasculated domestic Gods, human slave”…

    Like

    introaverted recently posted Video Games Killed My Radiologist… Sort Of….

  139. You either did this sketch or at least posted it on my birthday, so THANK YOU, Jenny, for that awesome birthday present! I absolutely LOVE it!

    Frankly, it looks like you sketched my Smokey, anyway, who would definitely share Ferris’ expression if I were to attempt sketching him while he cleaned his junk. I love it, though, and that’s all that matters to me, at least.

    Like

    emelle28 recently posted Y'all can relax now. The BIG Birthday Weekend is over. Now to chill into the Birth Month. ;).

  140. Woman! You can now add Cat Porn Comic to your roster of technical skills. Impressive!

    Like

  141. 143
    Cassondra

    Something about the way you crosshatch shaded his face is just so awesome. I mean it’s simple, but simply perfect, and I don’t know why it impressed me so much. but I keep looking at it and thinking I could never do that.

    Like

  142. This is awesome. I love how you act and treat your cats as strange family members. LOVE IT. It’s truth.

    Also, the drawing is really good. It captures the full figured kitty veggimitating. So, I was casually looking at this drawing thinking, ” Dude, Buckwheat used to do that. ” and I started missing my deceased bestie. But then I saw it. It was fabulous and hilarious……. The little, tiny “x” for his booty shoot was just staring at me. Fucking hilarious.

    Like

  143. I laughed out loud at an inappropriate place and time when I read this. So perfect!

    Like

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