You need this.

You know when you have something you’re really excited about but you don’t want to say it out loud because what if it goes away and then everyone is disappointed in you because you fucked it all up?  But you still want to be like, RIGHT NOW EVERYTHING IS GOOD AND MY BROKEN BRAIN IS COOPERATING AND I’M MAKING THIS THING THAT HAS TAKEN OVER MY LIFE ALL OF A SUDDEN AND KEPT ME UP WORKING UNTIL 3AM AND I WANT TO SHARE IT WITH YOU BUT AAAAHHHHHH!  That.  That is me today.  So I’m vague-posting and I fucking hate it when people do that, but know that I’m just doing it because I really want to share with you but I’m afraid if I say it out loud my brain will get constipated again.  I’ll give you a hint though:

Fiction.

‘Nuff said.

PS. Since this isn’t a real post I’m going to  share with you two things I saw today that made me laugh.

One old.  One new.  Both ridiculous.

Gotta go get back to work.

128 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Yes!! Can’t wait for it 🙂

    Like

  2. Fiction. Music to our ears. Go go go!

    Like

    Burns the Fire recently posted Get Up, Stand Up.

  3. Excellent mrburnsface

    Like

    mousegoddess recently posted In Which We Run In Of Time.

  4. What?! Yes! Whatever it is! I trust in Jenny!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Yea for a fiction book!!!!

    Like

    Mrs. Coffee recently posted Where Are The Democrats That My Grandparents Supported?.

  6. 🖖

    Like

  7. ❤️

    Like

  8. Oooh fiction!! Is it going to be based on how DT became qualified to become POTUS?!! Is it a horror? Can’t wait to hear more!! Now to watch “sticky buddy” because that seems like it can’t go wrong… 😂
    Watching this space.

    Like

    Meg Falconer-Robinson recently posted Wax on Wax off..

  9. So relatable! Every time I’m writing something new I’m torn between shoving it in front of everyone I trip across (“Hello, I know you’re just trying to buy lettuce, but could you read the opening to my new novel?) and hiding all signs of life from everyone, (“NO, there’s no one living in the house, quit ringing my doorbell with your evil boxes of sweet, sweet cookies!”)

    Break a metaphorical pencil.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. I’m sufficiently distracted. I thought for sure that nothing would calm my brain ferrets once you gave that hint (OMG, FICTION!) but the bad lip reading fixed me right up.

    Like

    actualconversationswithmyhusband recently posted The Impossible Orchid.

  11. Marvelous. You keep working, the world keeps turning. Something something philosophy.

    Liked by 1 person

    Dann Alexander recently posted Book Marking.

  12. I actually watched this last night and felt guilty about how much it made me laugh (I’m Canadian, he isn’t my president). It also made me miss Bush – and had you said that to me 10 years ago I would not have believed you.

    Like

    K. recently posted More by @sosadtoday..

  13. I HATE vague posts..LOL

    Like

    The Hellion recently posted Do We Have Too Much Crap?.

  14. Bad lip reading is sooooo funny. I’m crying 😭

    Like

  15. So, you’re the new White House press secretary? Congratulations!

    Liked by 2 people

  16. That old woman in the Sticky Buddy is everything I needed today. Thank you for the laugh and eventual vomit.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. by the way..I loved that lip reading thing…LOL

    Like

    The Hellion recently posted Do We Have Too Much Crap?.

  18. Thanks for the mid-day mind trip, Jenny.
    You’re the best.

    Like

    The Hook recently posted Let’s Talk….

  19. Quick — Knock on wood.

    Like

    Elyse recently posted Cut It Out, 2017.

  20. I love you, Jenny!

    Like

  21. I’m dying laughing. 😀

    Like

  22. Eeeeep eeeeep eeeeeep!!!!!!
    💖

    Like

  23. 23
    Sandra Regina

    I know exactly what you mean and that’s why I am super superstitious about saying anything nice or good about my life until after its happened.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. making-a-thing high five!

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Can’t wait for exciting mystery fiction thing!

    Like

  26. YAY! Can’t wait to read it!

    Like

    Cris recently posted How Freddie Mercury Helped Me Find True Love.

  27. 27
    Smuddle Buddy

    S.Q.U.E.E.E.E.E!

    Like

  28. ROFLMAO!! Thank you for the bad lip reading!!

    Like

  29. ::High five:: through the interwebs.
    Thank you. Sticky buddy cracked me up. Good thing I wasn’t drinking coffee at the time.

    Like

  30. You can tell me! I’m the designated secret keeper for my family.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. In support of your “can’t say too much or you’ll jinx/constipate the shit out of it (which is a pretty gross oxymoron) it” mentality of which I also subscribe to, all I’ll say is:
    Awesome.

    Liked by 1 person

    Joanna recently posted Mr. Good Daddy.....

  32. “Rainbow is not a flavor.” It is also my favorite thing you have written, and the closest in presentation to a short story. I can’t wait.

    Like

  33. I DEARLY LOVE Bad Lipreading. I can’t wait to listen when I get home! I laugh until I cry, and that is sometimes very healing.

    Like

    becomingcliche recently posted Lost In Translation: Parenting Edition.

  34. I saw the Bad Lip Reading video earlier, US Weekly posted it 🙂 too funny.

    Like

    Liz @ Yes/No Films recently posted Quick Pick book review - Talking As Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls (And Everything in Between), by Lauren Graham.

  35. Yay! Whatever you’re writing, I’m glad the brainweasels are taking the day/week/month/year off. Go Jenny!

    Like

    Kelly and Geoff recently posted Our nor’easter made the national news, and so did Kelly’s video of it.

  36. By fiction, do you mean “alternative facts”??

    Liked by 3 people

  37. okay…soooo…I’m jumping up and down with joy but I do have a perplexed look on my face…is this the right reaction to your blog?

    Like

  38. I’ve been on a diet 472 times since January 1st and I haven’t told a soul because I don’t want to jinx it. Fuck! I think I just jinxed it because I wanted to make you feel less alone in your non-jinx-I-ness. Stay strong! And if you don’t, it’s okay because you’re great even doing nothing.

    Like

    Mrs. Completely recently posted Updates, Profanity & Apricot Brandy.

  39. I will be one of the first people to pre-order your novel or other work of fiction when it is published!! You go, girl!

    As for the lip reading, although it was funny I was unable to watch the whole thing. I realize that I simply cannot see that face without getting even more depressed than I already am. I’ve tried not to let it interfere with my life… but failed. I cannot imagine what horrors await us, with a truly insane egomaniac liar in such a powerful position. Not trying to insult; I believe that statement is fact. The more I see and hear the worse I realize our situation is. He is genuinely crazy. And the more I realize that the worse I feel. So my only defense is to avoid seeing and hearing anything about the situation, even if it is a mockery and intended to be funny.

    Thank you for being a sane (if delightfully nutty) haven in the insane world. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  40. That lip reading thing is funny as.
    Since the USA is currently in 26 January mode, Happy Australia day 🇦🇺🌏
    (or if you’re Indian, happy republic day for India)

    Like

    Gary Lum recently posted Food for Australia Day 2017.

  41. I’ve been watching this over and over. Love the Netherlands!

    Liked by 2 people

  42. 43
    TheOriginalPhoenix

    You too?!?? I have a vague fiction idea on my mind as we speak!!! (Need to get to planning it out now.) 😛

    Like

  43. Woot! Inspiration! I’m happy for you, Jenny — that’s terrific!

    Like

  44. I’m crying from laughing so hard at the videos!!! Omg! Thank you so much!!!! Also, I know whatever you do I will love cuz you have never disappointed me 🙂

    Like

  45. You could post about the fantastic shit you took and I would still think it was amazing!

    Can’t wait to find out what you were working on until 3 am!!

    Liked by 1 person

    the incurable dreamer recently posted i am about to die, and this is my blog post.

  46. I am also superstitious about good news…but that being said, I’m slowly spreading the word that I got a job offer yesterday, after 8 long months of searching for the right opportunity. Yay?

    Liked by 3 people

  47. YES to Jenny for Press Secretary!!!

    Like

  48. Mum’s the word. You can count on us 🙂

    Like

  49. OMG Video is epic!

    Like

  50. Is it really fiction? Or is it alternative-nonfiction?

    Like

    DayLeeFix recently posted Ethics Covered My Ass - Then and Now.

  51. The lip reading is my current favorite video of all time.

    http://aneducationindomestication.com

    Like

    An Education in Domestication recently posted It’s aliveeeeeeee.

  52. Ooooh – will Hunter S. Tomcat be making an appearance? Victor and the chicken should definitely make a random appearance. Thanks for the post!

    Like

  53. Aaahhhh…..
    (deep contented sigh)

    Like

  54. I do this ALL the time. Love this.

    Like

    Sylvia Marcia recently posted How I Feel About Myself Isn’t Okay.

  55. 56
    Jamin Robinson

    I did need that.
    My girlfriend and I put in an offer in on a house that was accepted this past Sunday. Waiting for the mortgage to go through is triggering EVERY ANXIETY I have ever known. So, yes… I needed that.

    Like

  56. HAHAHAHA! That bad lip reading was hysterical. Thanks for sharing!

    Like

  57. In exactly the same place here. Really excited but can’t talk about it. Very excited about your excitement, though! I’m much more tolerant towards positive vague-posting than negative. It’s nice to share happiness.

    Thanks for the bad lip reading – laughter is sorely needed at the moment.

    Like

  58. Thank you so much for the laugh. I loved the bad lip reading one. 🙂 I needed a good lol moment. Hilarious. And I understand about not saying anything about something or it will blow up in your face so I won’t say how exciting that sounds. 😉

    Like

  59. I’m literally crying I’m laughing so hard…especially the Sticky Buddy one. Thank you for that. Good thing I work by myself in my office.

    Like

  60. Perfection.

    Like

  61. You’re totally going to write an erotic unicorn vampire mash-up, aren’t you? I can’t wait.

    Like

  62. I love you no matter what! And we never fuck stuff up, we just get our life shaken up for awhile and THEN we get shit done 🙂

    Like

  63. I am sick today and had to go to the doctor for a prescription. But I felt better because I was reading your book in the waiting room and giggling. The front desk girls were looking at me weird, so I think they thought I was crazy. But hey, I don’t go to a place every day where my job is to talk to sick people. WHO’S THE CRAZY ONE NOW, BITCHES? (Probably still me, but whatever.)

    Like

  64. I love the bad lip reading. I watch everything they do

    Like

    theycallmetater recently posted On Challenge Day 10 Let Freedom Ring.

  65. YESSSSSSSS!!!

    ahem Cool. Can’t wait.

    Like

  66. Oh! The Netherlands! And lip syncing. And a sticky buddy to boot! Made my day. I think I might be able to get up and face the rest of it…Maybe. we’ll see. Good post.😊

    Like

  67. Ooh–I’m breathless with antici….pation!

    Like

    mydangblog recently posted My Week 122: Racists Are Stupid, Spoiler Alerts.

  68. !!!!

    Sounds exciting! ❤

    Like

  69. Thank you Jenny. I was stuck in an AT&T store on Friday where they had the inauguration on a big screen with no sound. I’m sure this would have been a better soundtrack!

    Like

  70. OMYGOSH I NEEDED that sticky buddy video today. Thank you.

    Like

  71. OK the bad lip reading made my evening 😀

    Like

  72. 75
    Ragnar LostBook

    Jenny: THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU! I’m still wiping tears from my eyes after watching the second one. I haven’t laughed that hard in ages. I think I may have pulled a muscle in my abdomen.

    Like

  73. Fiction? Yay! I swear, there is nothing you cannot do, Lady. Other than be normal, of course, and aren’t we lucky that way, because the world would be so much dimmer if you weren’t so furiously you.

    Like

  74. Yassss!

    Like

    trillie recently posted Home.

  75. I’m with Enola on the lip-reading. It may be funny but I can’t stand looking at that man. Whatever you’ve got coming, sign me up! I know it’ll be fantastic.

    Like

  76. Oh man, that bad lip reading video made me laugh so hard. Thanks again. 🙂

    And oh god..I CAN”T WAIT. Whatever it is. I CANNOT WAIT!!!!! ❤ Even if it’s bad…I can’t wait.

    Like

    mommatrek recently posted Be still, oh my nerdling heart.

  77. Please tell me it’s about Rory coming alive and having adventures with other taxidermy. I’d totally buy that. Or you and lil snitzul (sorry no clue how to spell that) becoming vampires and over throwing the brotherhood of vampires. PLEASE!!!!

    Like

  78. You are such a TEASE! Love. It. And can’t wait!

    Like

    whatwouldgilliesdo recently posted Goodbye again, sweet Grandma.

  79. Please help this blow up in the twittesphere: https://twitter.com/halfonioninabag?lang=hu (i’m not sure how to copy twitter “url’s” but the point is: let’s make the twitter account’s Half An Onion In a Bag have more followers than our current presidents!

    It’s important and ridiculous at the same time and with all your followers, I hope we can increase followers and poke another hole in our current president’s very thin skin.

    I love you & love that you’re keeping us all real in these somewhat unreal times. Sorry for the looong comment!

    Like

  80. Fictions sounds fab! I feel like that was actual inauguration audio instead of bad lip reading. “You’re a creep.”

    Like

    kstewand4cats recently posted Panther Love.

  81. 84
    Talwinder Kaur

    I died at the sticky thingy! I didn’t think I’d need that in my life but now I know I do!

    Like

  82. AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! Excited!

    Like

  83. Hilarious! Also, please tell me you have seen the #cuteanimaltweetoff on twitter!!

    Like

  84. Wow okay I feel like you just told me my Christmas present is hidden some where on planet Earth and I don’t get to open it early. So now I am imagining all kinds of things that it could be but probably isn’t

    Like

  85. Haduken to your face!

    Like

  86. I woke up this morning to Meghan Trainor’s Me Too running through my head (check it out on youtube). If I have to have a song I can’t get out of my head, at least this one is fun and positive!

    Like

  87. Omg I am still laughing and have shared this with everyone I know! Only thing is, this post probably needed a “do not watch at work” disclaimer. I work at a faith-based institution and so ended up with my door shut, facing the wall, body shaking from laughter which probably looked more like a seizure…

    Like

    Laura recently posted The other woman at the table.

  88. Jenny Lawson + fiction = I want to read it now. Right now. Like I wish I had started reading it last night.

    Like

    Wendy Weir recently posted The Weight of Despair.

  89. gotta love sticky buddy…and oh yay fiction. she said the word fiction. sits back, folds arms.
    Now, we wait.

    Like

    judyt54 recently posted Trip down memory lane.

  90. Yay! I can only imagine that fiction by you will be AWESOME!

    I’d seen the inaugural one already, but the Sticky Buddy one was new to me and OMG!! I stopped it halfway through and called my husband over because that was something better watched with someone else to laugh with! The old lady! I can’t take it! Lol. By the way, I’m pretty sure that you introduced me to the Honey Badger video via your blog a few years ago, so thanks again for that one too.

    Like

  91. Fiction? …. FICTION?? …… YEEEESSSS!!!

    Like

  92. I have a fiction addiction, so yes please be my dealer. That kinda sounds bad. Sorry. I mean it in the nicest way.

    Like

  93. Thank you SO MUCH for the Bad Lip Reading laughs…. I really needed that today!! I know it’s supposed to be funny (and it is) but … am I the only one who thinks that it’s what they’re really saying? I mean, it looks SO much like what they’re really saying!

    Like

    Marcheline recently posted The only politics-related thing that made me smile lately....

  94. Thanks for the bad lip reading. Or should I say, alternative facts. Or truthful subtext.

    As for the fiction thing, if it helps, all fiction writers have periods where we think the muse will abandon us, or we’ll run out of ideas, or, when we’re slogging through the middle, we’ll never be able to get to the end. And then we think it’s all crap and we walk away, and a month later, when we read the manuscript, it’s not bad. Not bad at all. Or, we’re able to see the flaws, and how to fix ’em.

    Like

    Diane Holcomb recently posted How Did You Spend Your Time Last Year?.

  95. Thank you!!! I needed to laugh very badly. I feel like America has fallen down the rabbit hole and the whole country has gone mad! Both sides and the middle. I have had my pillow fort on standby all week and I am considering not reading any more news until people calm down….wait-I hope they will eventually. But maybe they won’t? I am pretty sure I can’t live like this for 4 whole years. Whatever you are working on- I am sure it is amazing and we will be so glad that you waited until it’s done to unveil its magnificence. 🙂

    Like

  96. Thanks for a good laugh when I needed one Jenny!

    Like

  97. Good luck with your Fiction!!

    Like

    Katy recently posted Words & Opinions.

  98. We’re here for you, Jenny.

    Like

    Jenny Bristol recently posted Spoonflower’s 12 Days of Design: Day #9: Discover Repeats.

  99. So fun and exciting to know new stuff is coming soon. Cannot wait to see what you come up with next!!

    Like

    thompsonhouseblog recently posted Cabin Fever is setting in!.

  100. JENNY–don’t know if you are going to read this or not…..but I have tried three times to subscribe to this blog and never get the “activation email”. I clicked on the “contact us” each time and re-entered my email address, and it keeps saying “we are unable to locate your record. Are you sure you entered the email address correctly?” Well, yeah. It’s my email address. I don’t know if you or anyone else can help, and it’s hardly an earth-shattering problem but I would love to be a subscriber if this problem can be fixed.
    thanks
    –Enola

    Like

  101. During NaNoWriMo this past year, I completed a draft of something I have been working on for 15 years. Every day I sat down to write and was stunned when anything came out. Then I had 50,000 words. I tell you this because my broken brain cooperated. I am still working on it. You can do this. You got it.

    Like

  102. They had me at Unicorn farts… had to share.

    Like

  103. OH god yes yes. So excited. You can rock this. You WILL rock this.

    Like

  104. Thought someone in this community might like this –

    REW30-HO1Y0B
    REW15-TDVTVV

    These are gift codes for 1 month free subscription to Headspace, a great meditation program. https://www.headspace.com Obviously each only works once but even if the code is used you can get 10 days free anyway and I’ve found it worth doing, it helps me keep balanced.

    Like

  105. no. not nuff said.
    cliffhangers suck. But I’m totally excited about the latest

    Like

  106. looking forward to what you do next x

    Like

  107. I don’t know…I’m pretty sure that IS what Trump said!

    Like

    Karen Marie Peterson recently posted Forget the First 100 Days. I have some thoughts about the first 6..

  108. Any chance that you have 2 copies of your coloring book still available for sale?

    (It doesn’t come out until March. 🙂 ~ Jenny)

    Like

    lyoness8914 recently posted Until there is nothing left..

  109. ‘And behold I will send them the Bloggess, and there will be much laughter and joyous weeping and excitement for things to come, thus sayeth the universe.’ AltScripture 3:4-6

    Like

  110. Yes, yessss,YESSSS! You’ve got me all excited now and I can’t freaking waaaait to hear the details!

    Like

  111. Jennifer:
    I came to your blog hoping for some humor to brighten my day, which I did find some, but I have a question: Why the vulgar language? I feel you have good things to say and good ideas, so why discredit those things with the use of crass words? Your intelligence is compromised greatly.
    At the risk of thinking it matters to you, I will express that I feel insulted and hurt when I come upon crude and profane writings. It taints my thoughts and soul. Thanks for your time.

    (That’s just how my mind works. Sorry. There used to be a website called The Clean Bloggess where a guy took out all the bad words or questionable statements I used so his grandmother could read it but I don’t think it exists anymore. But I don’t blame you at all if it’s too much for you. It’s not for everyone and that’s okay. 🙂 ~ Jenny)

    Like

  112. So, sorry, (I’m Canadian so I have to say that first), this has nothing to do with your post besides being random. I found this chess set on line today, and thought you would like to know about it. https://goo.gl/images/dpNK40

    Like

  113. thanks for sharing. I had been shown the Bad Lip one before, glad it’s doing the rounds, i cried, it was hilarious! The second one cheered me up also 🙂

    Like

  114. FINALLY! It’s the 5 second rule as it applies to various foodstuffs! 🙂 Start saving now!

    Like

  115. If “the clean bloggess” doesn’t exist anymore, would you be willing to authorize one of us in the tribe to start it back up? Having worked in libraries & publishing, I wouldn’t dream of doing it without author consent…. but I’d love to have a PG version because there are as many children affected by mental conditions as adults — because every child had parents even if those parents are no longer in their life.

    Like

  116. Oh my goodness, Shticky Buddy! I’m crying, thank you

    Like

  117. Please tell me the title is “The Adventures of Rory and Beyoncé”.

    Like

    Arionis recently posted The 100 year old beer.

  118. OMG Thank you so much for the lip reading. Personally I could swear that right after Obama took off, Melania turned to Trump and asked “Who was that, anyway?” And Trump answered “You dingbat, that was the Obamas.” Somebody find me the video—I swear that’s what it looked like!

    Like

  119. I do it. I keep flicking my boogers under the bed.

    Like

  120. Pretty funny! Check out bad lip readings versions of starwars. Weird and funny! Thank you for making me laugh.

    Like

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