So, I need to attach something to a tree but I thought that a nail might do damage to the tree so I went to the internet to see if they had any ideas and I was like, “Can I glue something to-” and Google was like “LET ME JUST STOP YOU THERE. YOU WANT TO STICK SOMETHING IN YOUR URETHRA, RIGHT?” And I was all, “Jesus, Google. WTF.” Because first of all, ow. And secondly, no. And third, WHY ARE YOU AUTO-SUGGESTING THAT?
And then I was like, “You know what? I’m just going to ignore this.” And so I kept writing “Can I glue something to a tre-” and at this point you’d think it would autosuggest “tree”, right? Because I’m doing all I can here. But no.
Are that many people sticking things up their urethra and gluing things to dinosaurs that google now thinks these are the most popular options? All I wanted to do was hang up a birdhouse like a goddam normal person and now I feel like I’ve stumbled onto an entire subculture that I never knew existed.
Thanks Google. I feel very informed. Too much so. And also, I still don’t know how to attach something to a tree.