I’m thinking I just need to buy the sasquatch so that I have it in case I need to give an emergency present.

Today NPR reported that some guy stole a giant chicken and weirdly, I got sent that story a lot on twitter.  Then I realized something:

screen-shot-2017-02-16-at-10-26-16-pm

So then I decided to text Victor:

screen-shot-2017-02-16-at-10-26-58-pm

He did not respond.

But others were interested. So I gave them this link.  And I used my affiliate link because I was pretty sure once people saw that you could buy a life-sized yeti for $2,500 (AND FREE SHIPPING) they would jump on that shit:

screen-shot-2017-02-16-at-10-27-19-pm

Surprisingly, all 20 are still available.

But the best (?) part was at the bottom:

Click to embiggen

Click to embiggen

Products related to this item: heat-resistant gloves, a 6-foot faceless, poseable dummy, a possum trap, a series of lights for growing pot.

Customers who viewed this item also viewed: Wigs for your dog, Gandhi Face-Ka-Bobs, two, live adult hissing cockroaches, and “Reverse Vaginal Tighting Gel for Women”.  

And now I have questions.  Because the “For Women” designation seems a bit unnecessary and also, wouldn’t a reverse vaginal tightening gel be a vagina-loosening gel?  Is that a thing people want?  To loosen their vaginas?  I sort of want to look but I’m not going to because then I will be bombarded with targeted ads asking “HEY, IS YOUR VAGINA STILL ON TOO TIGHT?  DO YOU NEED HELP?” and then I’ll just have to leave the internet.  I don’t even have jokes for this, y’all.  I blame the giant missing chicken in Carolina who started this whole mess.

135 replies. read them below or add one

  1. HA! I love that you do all of our shopping for us. Have you ever considered opening a way cooler version of Amazon? Maybe Bloggazon?

    And I’m pretty sure somebody used a pic of me after 6 months without shaving to create the Yeti statue. I probably deserve a discount right?

    Liked by 6 people

    Gabe Burkhardt recently posted Hiking the Appalachian Trail Against All Odds.

  2. You HAVE to buy that Sasquatch! It never hurts to have an emergency gift on hand at all times.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. you’re not even going to mention the DOG WIG?
    actually that’s a great price for a dog wig.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Snortle. You are a delight.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. BTW there is a giant fake horse, up on its hind legs, and well endowed. I thought of you.

    Liked by 1 person

    G recently posted defeated.

  6. Wait, “vagina still ON too tight?”

    (Well that’s my reading of the wording. Like if you needed an oil for loosening lug nuts you’d want them to come off. So I assume this works the same way. I could be wrong. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 5 people

  7. actually i see you did mention the dog wig and i was just so distracted by everything else going on here that i missed it.
    WHAT EVEN IS GOING ON HERE

    Liked by 2 people

  8. You need that chicken to go with Beyonce.

    Also, I feel sorry for the soul who bought the raccoon trap hoping to catch Sasquatch. Their spatial awareness may not be up to snuff.

    I’m surprised snuff isn’t on that list.

    P.S. Your posts make me super happy.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Can we stick the giant resin Sasquatch on the White House lawn? Maybe just outside a window? With glowing eyes. Then he can be like he was walking past the window, and was startled by what he saw them doing..so he stares at them all judgey. I think it would really freak out the staff.

    Liked by 5 people

    quoylette recently posted Why???.

  10. Gandhi Face-Ka-Bobs for less than $50?!? Count me in!

    Liked by 2 people

    Corey Lambert recently posted No Day but Today.

  11. Wait..did I see I can get a giant Yeti WITH PRIME SHIPPING!!!???!!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. How will Beyonce feel about the competition. I’m still a fan of the giant metal chicken.

    Like

    Gary Lum recently posted Cooking corn in another way.

  13. I just adore you. That is alll.

    Like

  14. Products related -aka all the shit you crazy people actually looking at this thing might want.

    Also, how does that dummy even qualify as a Christmas decoration?

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I’m 71 and my vagina’s been loose for years. I like it that way.

    Liked by 2 people

  16. Maybe it was your post, but the clothes hook looked like a double ended dildo on my phone…

    Like

  17. I love you Jenny and I just wanted to offer a gentle reminder that trans men can have vaginas too.

    (This is very true and I thought the same thing but then I thought that that makes the “for women” label not only unnecessary, but also more than slightly narrow-minded. Loose vaginas for all, I say! ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 1 person

  18. Because I think research is important, I looked up the Reverse Vaginal Tightening Gel (you’re welcome) and ‘Reverse’ is the product name… so you use it to reverse all the loosening that happens over time, I guess. But…depending on how you apply the product, you may just cancel out the benefits.

    Also, I sortve blame Victor for this because he needs to be more prompt about responding to your messages. So, if he comes home to a ginormous Sasquatch, it will be his own fault.

    (Now I want to know what else they sell. Is there a Reverse penis enlarger? Please say there is. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 4 people

  19. So glad i didnt go to bed and decided to read this instead. However I laughed so loudly I woke up both dogs and my housemate. I may have popped a rib out laughing so hard, but worth it.

    Like

  20. 20
    Freyjas_rhings

    Wait! It comes in three sizes? Medium, large, and life size. Umm so many questions.

    (At first I thought you were referring to the vagina loosening gel and I was even more confused. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 4 people

  21. I decided to take the hit, and I looked at the gel. It’s intended to tighten.

    I will be seeing related products from now until the end of time. I made this sacrifice for fellow Bloggessians. Also my own curiosity, but mostly the first one.

    Wishing you a gigantic chicken statue from South Carolina, and no evidence that Victor was involved.

    Liked by 5 people

  22. I wonder about the used one…

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Why is Sasquatch stealing someone’s purse? And on the White House lawn no less?

    (Not that Sasquatch couldn’t carry a purse, just suggesting that it’s stolen because of the guilty look on Sasquatch’s face. )

    Liked by 1 person

  24. I kind of really want that Sasquatch. If I didn’t live in a teeny apartment, and had a little more money lying around, I would totally get it. Did you know it comes in Medium and Large, as well as life-sized? And if you look further into the “customers also looked at”, there is a “Roaster Large Wild Boar Whole”? An actual wild boar? Whole? Wow.

    Liked by 2 people

  25. Wait, is that giant Yeti on the White House lawn?

    Like

    Diane Holcomb recently posted One Good Reason to Stay Alive.

  26. I think you should definitely get Victor the Sasquatch, because what if he shows up with the chicken and you are empty handed. Also, because if he comes home chickenless, the Sasquatch is also an excellent punishment. Along, of course,with the bragging rights for being the most romantic partner.

    Liked by 1 person

  27. There’s a house down the road from mama’s that has the life sized yeti. I told TheEngineer that if he insisted on us moving out to the middle of BFE, I’m insisting on a yeti of my very own. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  28. I’d heard the POTUS roams the White House in his bathrobe, until Spicer set us all straight saying, “He doesn’t even own a bathrobe.” So…could that giant Yeti be?…nah.

    Liked by 2 people

    Diane Holcomb recently posted One Good Reason to Stay Alive.

  29. You totally need to buy the sasquatch

    Like

    Sin recently posted Valentines day 2017.

  30. So Two things. 1 is that it’s awesome that the yeti comes in multiple sizes and how do they actually know what life size is for a yeti. 2 is that I didn’t even know these were all things that you could find on amazon. So now I am going to have to start lookin up random stuff just to see what else Amazon offers!

    Like

  31. I wanted to tell you that even on my darkest days, and I am having one right now, you make me laugh. Thank you.

    Liked by 3 people

  32. I think you should buy the yeti so the chicken or maybe soon to be chickens won’t feel lonely. You could put a chapter about it in your book then it could be a write off. You can also name the yeti jay z

    Like

  33. It says there are some used ones starting at $799. A used yeti. What will the world think of next?

    Like

  34. Jenny, you are the only reason I ever have to ever remove things from my browsing history on Amazon. Thank you. I ❤ you forever.

    Liked by 1 person

    abandonpants recently posted The Dinner Party of 2017.

  35. 2 1/2 stars for the vaginal tightening cream? They better change the formula to fix loose ends.

    Like

    Taylor recently posted Run away or she’ll kill you!.

  36. Hi y’all. I’m new to all the fun and shenanigans going on around here but I just want to say that I am lowering my dose of Zoloft by 50% and will check in on this blog on a daily basis! Thanks for all the laughs!

    Liked by 3 people

  37. This Grammy concedes that the overdue property tax bill probably should take first priority, but, DAMN that Sasquatch should be lurking in the woods behind my cabin, waiting for unsuspecting grandchildren.

    Like

  38. 38
    Crystal LikeTheStone

    I find it kind of interesting that this yeti looks an awful lot like that one from Harry and the Hendersons.

    Like

  39. Oh man, I had a conversation with some coworkers recently about those resin sasquatch statues, and I was reading this thinking “I will have to email this to my coworker tomorrow, this is great,” and then I got to “vagina tightening” and was like oh oops never mind I don’t want to get fired. I’ll just send this to my friends instead. 🙂

    Like

  40. 40
    Rich Strohbeck

    So I understand your general obsession with big yetis and vaginas (or big vaginas and yetis), but I can’t sleep tonight trying to figure out how the 6′ poseable figure is a Christmas Holiday Seasonal decoration?!! If Victor comes through with that chicken, maybe zombie Santa could ride it to deliver toys to all the boys and girls! The Yeti could be his elf, or just pull the chicken … do yetis fly?

    Like

  41. I can’t stop laughing and I am also slightly terrified by the internet right now! Isn’t anyone else alarmed by the posable dummy as a Christmas decoration? Umm, IS IT? Like, what part of Christmas have I been missing…I mean, the creepy as fuck part?!

    Liked by 3 people

    the incurable dreamer recently posted keith, i just wanted to snuggle.

  42. Generally, this blog is the lemon filling in my donut. Today,
    it’s the chocolate in my pie! You are so frickin’ funny!!! The kind
    of funny where you’re gasping for air and holding your stomach. We could
    hang out. Seriously.

    Like

  43. The listing says the statues are individually hand-painted by artisans. And I’m thinking about a factory somewhere where people clock in and spend all day making significant eye contact with a resin bigfoot replica while they painstakingly paint its many details.

    I wonder how one becomes an artisan Sasquatch painter, anyway. Is there a correspondence course, or is it on-the-job training? I have so many questions.

    And that’s before even considering the vagina tightening cream. Why wouldn’t you just do kegels? I know that kegels tighten the pelvic floor and the vaginal barrel itself can become distended with time and use, but be honest, can anyone actually tell the difference between a strong pelvic floor and a springy, youthful vaginal barrel in the heat of the, um, moment?

    Questions questions!

    Like

    Elizabeth recently posted WIP Wednesday.

  44. To Jen Clay at number 37, I have a suggestion that will resolve both situations – buy the yeti and position it in the woods to wait for unsuspecting property tax collectors.

    Liked by 1 person

  45. This is beautiful. Everything about this is beautiful. Good job.

    Like

  46. Public service announcement: I received those heat resistant gloves as a gift. They are horrible

    Like

  47. I wonder how the first searcher for either the Yeti or the vaginal tightening gel got the connection between the two – which came first in the search string? I mean, I can kinda see a link between the two…kinda.

    Like

  48. Another gentle reminder that there are 2 states with Carolina in their name – we’re not just a generic “Carolina” blob here on the east coast! North and South Carolina are very different and appreciate proper naming. : )

    Like

  49. 49
    colliedogpress

    I’m just annoyed with Victor for not sending something romantic like a pair of stuffed squirrels in his and her outfits. Really Victor? Really?

    Like

  50. That’s awesome!

    Like

  51. Why is it possible to buy giant live bugs on Amazon??!!

    Liked by 2 people

  52. I needs the hissing cockroaches for my desk.

    Liked by 1 person

  53. I’m hoping the FBI never has to look at your computer search records….:)

    Like

    The Hellion recently posted The Unexpected Things I Learned About Myself At A Funeral.

  54. I’m wondering what a Bigfoot needs to carry in that little handbag. Maybe a comb and some chapstick since it looks like he’s getting ready to meet the President or something.

    Liked by 1 person

  55. Two adult Madagascar hissing cockroaches.
    Two.
    Adult.
    OMG
    So they can breed?????

    Like

    OwnLessDoMore.us recently posted More Power! Tim’s bonus battery bonanza, Part I.

  56. OMFG, I need pictures of Dottie in a wig SO BADLY. Please can I buy Dottie a wig and have it sent to you, Jenny? Pleasepleasepuhleeeeeeze.

    Like

    Rhubarb Swank recently posted how to life.

  57. 58
    katebuesching

    I have two of those statues in white. Two. Still not sure how my life has come to this.

    Like

  58. I’m dying laughing this morning reading this! Gosh, I swear just when I think you cannot be any funnier you are. I don’t know how and/or where you manage to find this stuff on the internet, but I am so glad you share it with us all! 😉 “Reverse vaginal tightening” LMAO! Really?! Who would want that?! :/

    Liked by 1 person

  59. *need. It’s early yet. I’ve only had 2 cups of coffee. Also the yeti would make a great lawn ornament. Dressed appropriately for the season of course.

    Like

  60. On the Yeti, I’m curious about the 4-1/2 star review (who gave it a 1 star?) and the 15 answered questions. Seems to me a lot of questions for any sized Yeti.

    Like

  61. What caught my attention was the yeti not only carrying the American Flag and posing in front of the White House, but holding what appeared to be a designer handbag. And posing artfully. Perhaps the reverse vaginal tightening gel could fit into the handbag. That’s the only possible explanation I could think of to link the yeti to the tightening gel. You know, it’s kinda like when people say “dethaw” they are really saying “freeze.” Speaking of freezing I thought yetis were white. This advertisement is very misleading and is counting on you being high while viewing so you’ll buy a designer handbag and lights to continue your grow-op.

    Like

    marliesvonn recently posted Today in stupid. You decide..

  62. You make my heart happy!

    Like

  63. I actually know a woman who I suspect has her vagina on too tight. I have no solid proof but when I think what a too tight vagina would feel like I immediately think of her. Oh! And I think her boobs are on a little too tight as well.

    Like

    Mrs. Completely recently posted This Food Smells Like Shit!.

  64. Posing dummy 6′ foot tall Christmas Holiday Seasonal decoration? What kind of scary-ass Santa Clause is that!?!? Maybe that will be the new elf on a shelf but much more terrifying.

    Like

  65. Not guilty here. I stole the blue one in DC. Don’t remember the yeti being there. Perhaps he was supposed to be guarding ole Blue???

    Like

  66. Can anyone read a fun blog without having the White House brought up?

    Like

  67. This is the strangest combo of items…atomic fireballs, dog wigs, sasquatch, and Ghandi….seriously! You make me laugh. Thanks for the giggles.

    Like

    thompsonhouseblog recently posted I Don’t Care What You Want!.

  68. You can tell this is fake, because the real Bigfoot uses a fanny pack, not a purse—I’m pretty sure he has to be, you know, hands-free.

    Like

  69. Here’s the link to a photo of our pink Yeti, Fred. We got him in South Carolina. He had to ride home to Maryland wedged between the front seats of the gigantic Escalade we rented for the trip. He is not made of resin. He is made of regular ol cement and apparently the garden shop yard was littered with armless Yeti’s because cement is not pliable and the arms snap off easily.

    So far Fred has retained his arms and has worn a witch hat and black mask for Halloween and a Santa Hat a twinkle lights for Christmas. We love him…. Our package deliverers and mail people do look at us funny if they make eye contact. It’s part of Fred’s charm.

    Like

  70. Wow! My friend has The Yeti at her house. It was tastefully hidden in the back yard amongst some trees, but she lives in a crazy expensive neighborhood that has a Home Owners Association made of cranky old men. They got wind of The Yeti and threatened her home etc if it was not removed. I don’t remember the rationale but somehow The Yeti is more acceptable in this neighborhood if it is placed on the tiny concrete stool that is her front door. Yetis need to be in the trees, man. I’ll send her this post asap.

    Like

    kstewand4cats recently posted Trifflin’ S O B’s.

  71. Are there photos on the left side of the yeti in different settings with various accessories?? I do like to know how my yeti is going to look in different situations.

    Like

  72. You have inspired a new phrase to use immediately-“Girl, is your vagina on too tight?”

    Like

  73. You are killing me! So funny!

    Like

    Sunshine recently posted Beat the Valentine’s Day Blues.

  74. There is apparently a giant effing chicken theft ring running rampant because one disappeared in Portland, TN too. http://www.newschannel5.com/news/giant-chicken-stolen-from-portland-business

    Like

  75. Dan @ 36, this post was my introduction to Jenny and I’ve been hooked since. I spent HOURS reading through old posts after this one circulated and I started following her blog. So hysterical. Her books are great too. The first one actually contains a lot of her more popular blog posts up to that point. http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/21/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/

    Like

  76. For those concerned about balancing the full-sized yeti with plantings in a smaller garden room, Design Toscano makes several sizes so even your fairy garden can potentially benefit from the presence of a resin sasquatch. Although not taking advantage of Prime Shipping for a full-sized Abominable seems a terrible waste of money.

    Like

  77. Hahaha. Do you think they’all take $25 for cash? If so, I’m getting a big foot.

    Like

    Twin Pickle recently posted Guest Post – A Bumpy Start: Pumping at the NICU.

  78. Oh man…thanks for posting this, Jenny…….I was trying to come up with something new next year for Christmas neighbor gifts. Those Ghandi face-pops will do the trick nicely. I’ll never have to say “Good Morning” to the people on my street again.

    (And yeah!! Get the Yeti. He and Beyonce would make a great couple!)

    Like

  79. I’m assuming you got Victor that reverse penis enlarger for V-day… I mean it’s kind of a compliment, right?

    Like

    dodo recently posted Seniority Rules.

  80. I had to immediately look up the missing NC giant chicken statue because there used to be one in front of a house on my drive to-from work in NC which disappeared a few weeks ago.
    It was apparently a different chicken. I actually think my commute chicken probably didn’t disappear, I think they moved and took the chicken with them – which is impressive because it was about 6′ tall.
    I miss my commute chicken because they would sometimes dress it up for the holidays. And who doesn’t want to pass a 6′ concrete chicken bedecked with holiday lights. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    CC recently posted Follow along on Bloglovin’.

  81. I’m still unclear on how one goes about stealing a 3,000 pound chicken. Undetected. Wouldn’t heavy machinery be required? And you’d have to leave it outside, so I guess you disguise it? “Officer, I’m a little offended at your suspicions. That is NOT a 3,000 pound chicken it’s quite clearly a very short stork.”
    So many questions.

    Like

  82. G-All stallions are well endowed.
    I have nothing more to say. This entire post has left me speechless.
    And I have an unnatural.desire to actually get that Sasquatch and put it on the front lawn.

    Like

  83. Jenny,

    Did you check out any of the other things at the bottom of the Amazon page because you totally do need to do so. I clicked on the Gandhi Face Kabobs and you need to see what popped up. I would love to come to a book signing but you aren’t going to be anywhere near me so maybe the next book tour.

    From one broken person to another,

    Maureen

    Like

  84. […] something: So then I decided to text Victor: He did not respond. But others were interested. So … Continue reading → […]

    Like

  85. also there is a link to the drunk octopus looking to fight that doubles as a hook. : )

    Like

  86. Oh my gosh, I’ve been trying to figure out for MONTHS why I got followed all over the Internet by that yeti ad. Google knows I love you.

    Like

  87. I think it’s pretty obvious that Amazon knows you. Because you would totally buy a dog wig and a possum trap, and the wig is clearly for the possum.

    Like

    becomingcliche recently posted The Introverted Activist: Things Will Get Better.

  88. I need to investigate the wigs for dogs. My pup would look a-mah-zing as a blonde.

    Like

    Becca Barracuda recently posted The Timeline of Lurrvee: Ridge Fest Rendezvous.

  89. OMG!!! SNORTED!!!

    Like

  90. I’m laughing so hard. Also, I think the internets is ready to leave you. But in a loving way, not like over the phone or anything. ❤️

    Like

  91. I have so many questions about so many things now. Which getting answers would most likely lead to more questions. It’s like a black hole! I think I need a hug now…

    Like

  92. NOOOOOO. Seriously, DO NOT GOOGLE life-size yeti! I did that a few years ago when it was announced that Sky Mall magazine was going away (and of course Sky Mall always had a giant sasquatch statue for sale) so I googled JUST ONCE to see if there are other places to get one and how much would it cost. Yes, $2500. And now I constantly get ads for life-size yetis on my feeds and in Facebook.

    Like

  93. Thank you for the Friday morning laugh!

    Like

  94. So no one is going to touch that one of the highlighted features of the Vaginal Gel is that it is Odorless and Tasteless?

    Like

  95. I think the “People also looked at” catagory gets messed up via blogs like http://theworstthingsforsale.com/ which tends to group the WTF options on amazon. Though apparently the resin sasquatch isn’t in there.

    Like

  96. I got him for my bday!!!!! My husband negotiated him from a discount cigarette store!!!! I love him!!

    Like

  97. I’m so glad you’re doing all these searches so I don’t have to worry about what Google & Amazon results I will get!

    Like

  98. I have seen the resin Big Foot statues in person, and they are impressive. If you’d rather steal one, just come to the Pacific NW – we are filthy with resin Big Foot statues.

    Like

  99. And maybe, just MAYBE this is why your google searches are a wee bit colorful (as per your WTF Google post)? Google gets you. Google cares.

    Like

    balletandboxing recently posted Memory box.

  100. 102
    Kristy Mallet

    I am serious worried about my mental state because I heard “life size yeti” and “reverse vaginal tightening gel” and my mind created a home-shopping-network-turned-beastly-shades-of-grey out of my nightmares that will take some heavy drinking to erase 🙈😣😉

    Like

  101. Design Toscano has a giant dragon statue that I desperately want. My boyfriend looked at me crazy when I said it was only $3000, but then I pointed out that the engagement ring we looked at was way lower than he budgeted for so…..

    Like

  102. Someone needs to sell vagina tightening gel that comes in a sasquatch shaped container. That way they would get people who want the tightening gel buying it as well as people who collect sasquatch shaped things, and then could go out and buy giant chickens for everyone

    Like

  103. 105
    Curiouser & Curiouser

    There is a store a few blocks from my house that has one of these on a dolly. They roll it out every day and put in front of the store. They dress it for holidays and it is made of AWESOME. I will get a pic and post!

    Like

  104. 106
    Curiouser & Curiouser

    Sasquatch, I mean. Not a vagina tightener. That would be weird since it is a power tool place.

    Like

  105. 107
    Curiouser & Curiouser

    Actually, a vagina tightener with holiday decorations would be weird no matter where it was . . .

    Like

  106. Love you to pieces but just so you know, I was born in SOUTH Carolina and raised in NORTH Carolina. Residents of neither state refer to themselves as being in Carolina. Around here Carolina is a college in Chapel Hill, NC. Arch rivals of NCSU (aka NC State University). So unless he is truly at the college in Chapel Hill, he is “in North Carolina.” So saying he is “in Carolina” would be comparable to you saying that you live in Xas. Sorry, but just had to give you an edumacation on that one…. Still love you. Still plan on being at the bookstore in Raleigh NORTH Carolina to get you to sign the butt area of Floyd, the gender-confused Pink Flamingo with Multiple-Personality Disorder.

    Like

  107. I have been having the SHITTIEST of days and this made me laugh so hard that Bella Skeerdycat looked at me like I’d lost my damn mind. Which, if you’ve ever seen her make that face, is pretty amusing too.

    Like

    mommatrek recently posted Tales from the Book Fair (days 3&4).

  108. I just finished reading David McCullough’s “John Adams” and learned that Thomas Jefferson roamed around the White House in his bathrobe, so I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing. That said, I don’t want to think about the current POTUS doing anything at all there. cough

    However, a giant yeti on the lawn could only improve the current one.

    Like

  109. You know, if you bought the giant Sasquatch and put it in your yard, somebody would report that they’d seen Bigfoot and then you could be on Finding Bigfoot. I would pay money to watch you confuse the shit out of Matt Moneymaker (yes, that’s really his last name).

    Like

  110. Admit it. You already own the dog wig, don’t you? If not,you should get a REAL yeti (but not a resin one) and shave it and make your own dog wig. If only yeti’s weren’t so damn hard to catch.

    Like

    emilypageart recently posted A Girl and Her Book.

  111. In the Sponsored Products Related to This Item stream, several urns for ashes are shown. Nice to know these are available in case a sasquatch or some vagina tightening gel kills a member of my family.

    Like

  112. I have tears rolling down my face! And as a bonus as I went into my email account….there it is the amazon add for the Giant Big Foot! 🙂

    Like

  113. You can actually get the sasquatch a lot cheaper on a different website. I actually have the small one on my front porch, great conversation starter 😉

    Like

  114. I wonder if the “people who bought this also bought” thing has a comedy setting ?

    Like

  115. I think that particular Sasquatch is a female and obviously she must be on vacation because she has her camera…lol I would so love to have that in the middle of my garden but I would definitely give her a big floppy garden hat! Lol

    Like

  116. Well, the chicken went missing from the opposite side of my state, but I’ll keep my eyes peeled for any mysterious shipments.

    Like

  117. There’s a popular cycling route near here in North Carolina that we call The Chicken because there’s a giant chicken statue we pass along the way, so when I saw that NPR headline I thought, “Someone stole our chicken!” Fortunately it seems there’s at least two chicken statues in NC because ours is in Wake County.

    Like

  118. What I didn’t see in the questions was if you could get a male or a female. And are they anatomically correct. I wonder if that is what the dog wig is for. Now I have WAY too many questions I need answered.

    Like

  119. Jenny!! Don’t forget that some men have vaginas (and some women don’t!) so this product was being extraordinarily specific in its audience!

    Like

  120. 122
    becbecmuffin

    The gel is clearly for women only and transmen and afab nonbinary people are not allowed to use it.

    Like

  121. Congrats Jenny! Not every marriage can inspire chicken related romantic felony just for Valentine’s day. Clearly you and Victor are doing it right! I’m going to go google which anniversary is the yeti anniversary now cuz that is just screaming “I’d marry you all over again”!

    Like

  122. You have such amazing talent.

    Like

  123. You prob already had someone say this, but in countries where women need to be virgins when married and men like virgins, yes, some people might like to tighten things up.

    Like

  124. … But did they find the chicken? There’s this whole story without a resolution! And did a sasquatch take the chicken? I feel like a sasquatch would have the upper body strength to pull that off…..

    Like

    Rhea recently posted Skirmish – #15MF.

  125. Reverse Vaginal Tightening Gel …. ?????

    Like

    sjhebig recently posted What’s All The Hoopla About Boron?.

  126. After reading Bigfoot’s reviews on Amazon, I was curious and surfed some of the “recommend” products (dog wig, etc.) and found this jewel: https://www.amazon.com/Disguise-Mushroom-Hat-Costume-Accessory/dp/B00XLI2KQK/ref=pd_sbs_199_3?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B00XLI2KQK&pd_rd_r=PCXNBHP0FNJ34YKNVE4W&pd_rd_w=SAN4T&pd_rd_wg=sqT5X&psc=1&refRID=PCXNBHP0FNJ34YKNVE4W

    Spit out my drink.

    Like

  127. Reverse Vaginal Tightening Gel. Hmm… Maybe for times when you wash your VaJayJay with hot water and it shrinks too tight? Is there such a thing as too tight?

    Like

  128. OMGOSH! (insert crying laughing emoji)

    True fucking story… I live 30 minutes from where the Patterson film was made. Bigfoot is “everything” here. Seriously. We even have a whole weekend of celebration, complete with deep pit BBQ, tractor races and logging events. Google “Willow Creek Bigfoot Days.” It’s ok, I’ll wait. LOL I, also, actually have that “statue”. Might just have to send you one.

    Like

  129. I think it just knows about your history with possums

    Like

  130. I bought that very Sasquatch for my mom for Mother’s Day a few years back. She decorates it for every holiday. 🙂

    Like

  131. We found a big metal chicken!!!! But I promised Bill Meirink I would not buy one. I thought the sasquatch with the big metal chicken was ironic, The Blogess

    So this is on my facebook account and I have a really cool picture but I cannot figure out how to post it! It is a Big Metal chicken with a sign on neck “Biggest Cock on the block” AND a big metal Sasquatch to boot! Jenny come to St. Louis and I’ll take you there!!!!

    Like

1 trackbacks

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s