Coloring. But less stressful. (Yes, I am aware how ridiculous this sounds.)

Two unrelated things:

First:

This morning I got bit on the eye by an ant.  And that was concerning, but more baffling was the fact that the ant managed to crawl all the way up to my eye before attacking.  That’s, like, so much work for I-don’t-even-know-what-the-payoff-is.

I can’t decide whether to be offended or impressed.

Second:

This is for all of the people who bought my coloring book but didn’t color it because even though coloring is supposed to help stress it’s actually super stressful for people who are afraid to making mistakes and I’m the same way which is why I normally just draw the pictures rather than color them because what if I spend an hour coloring something and then pick the wrong color and fuck it all up AND NOW I CAN’T EVEN FUCKING COLOR RIGHT.

But then people told me about this Recolor app where you can photograph your drawings and color them with your finger tips until you find the color combinations you like AND IT IS AWESOME.  And I’ve been taking pictures of my drawing from You Are Here and testing different colors before actually coloring them and it makes me really happy and (yes) also incredibly anal.

So today I’m sharing a drawing I finished last night and you can download it and color it if you want.  I did my own with lots of experimenting and several filters and it was ridiculously entertaining.  These took about 10 minutes to color:

Here’s my original black and white one if you want to do one yourself:

Have fun, y’all.

PS. Someone stop me:

PPS. I have bad handwriting so here’s what my drawings say in case you can’t read them.  “EVEN THE MOST FRAGILE THINGS FIND IMMORTALITY IN MEMORY.”  “HER GIFT WAS LEAVING SPACE FOR OTHERS.”  “WHEN THINGS GET BAD, JUST REMEMBER…YOU DON’T HAVE TO TAKE THIS BULLSHIT.  YOU ARE PORTABLE.”

PPPS. Spellcheck is telling me that I definitely can’t mean that I was bit in the eye by an ant and I get that it’s weird but the suggestion they’re giving me is weirder:

How is this more realistic?  Don’t go to Spellcheck’s family reunions.

164 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Those are the most beautiful pix I’ve ever seen. 😘💗

    Liked by 1 person

  2. What would spellcheck say if you tried to express that your aunt was bitten in the eye by an ant? It might just shut down like HAL in 2001.

    Liked by 6 people

    desertcurmudgeon recently posted Religious Teflon.

  3. 3
    savedbydogs

    Holy shit spellcheck, what kind of aunties did you have growing up!

    Like

  4. Jeebus..those are gorgeous!

    Like

    Michelle recently posted Been Caught Stealing – Part 2.

  5. Two things, in reverse order:
    1. These drawings are amazing.
    2. Maybe the ant wanted water/moisture and thought your eye was a flower? It’s the “juiciest” part of you, I would think. And the salt from your tears is probably beneficial. (I don’t know why I’m defending an ant…) Anyways, baking soda and water together should help with the sting and swelling! And you can safely put it near your eye.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I have many aunts – some of which might have considered biting me on the eye. Especially by Great-Aunt Loretta. She was a feisty bitch.

    Liked by 1 person

    Nancy recently posted What I Want To Share.

  7. Two things, in reverse order:
    1. These drawings are amazing.
    2. Maybe the ant wanted water/moisture and thought your eye was a flower? It’s the “juiciest” part of you, I would think. And the salt from your tears is probably beneficial. (I don’t know why I’m defending an ant…) Anyways, baking soda and water together should help with the sting and swelling! And you can safely put it near your eye.

    Like

  8. I love Recolor, but I didn’t not know until this moment that you can use it to color your own drawings. THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING.

    I’m never going to get work done again.

    Liked by 2 people

    karifur recently posted Holding on to What I Haven’t Got.

  9. Those are beautiful. I have a monthly coloring book and beer event, and your book is among the ones I have for people to use if they don’t have their own. It’s a great evening!

    Like

  10. 10
    Anonymous

    Thank you for the new artwork! 🙂 Love it! ❤

    Like

  11. Some ants will do anything to get blogged about.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. love love love

    Like

  13. Yes!!!! I love colouring. But I always get half way finished with a design and then I realize another colour combination would have been better and it stresses me so bad I just say fuck it and put my book and markers and pens away. Then I pout for some time till I get over myself and then they cycle starts again. Pffft

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I have such a hard time committing to coloring. I even bought a second copy of your book so I could keep one pristine so I could mess up one. Still, makes me nervous to make a mistake though.

    Liked by 3 people

  15. 15
    Anonymous

    nobody wants to be around Auntie Bitey haha

    Like

  16. Wow! You chose FABULOUS colors. Those pix are worth framing!

    (Actually, I chose awful colors before but then I clicked again to delete the bad combos and found good ones. This is why I love this app. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  17. Oh, I had an ant bite my eyelid before too – right on the lash line, and my eye swelled almost shut because I’m mildly allergic. It was an unpleasant couple of days.

    Like

  18. Just found the app and it’s amazing / so sorry about your eye, bad Ants are Bad

    Like

    Sin recently posted Good choice vs yummy choice.

  19. 19
    Anonymous

    Thank you for making me laugh.. I needed it today : )

    Like

  20. 20
    Anonymous

    ps. I love coloring in your book – it helps keep the monsters in my head entertained for awhile – thank you for creating it xoxo

    Like

  21. Victor doesn’t have an ant farm, does he?

    Like

  22. I am SO glad I’m not the only one who finds colouring stressful! People keep giving me colouring books as gifts and I graciously accept them and then add them to the pile. I open them every now and then and look at the pretty drawings and get overwhelmed because WHERE DO YOU EVEN START!?!? How do you KNOW what will look good and what colour everything is supposed to be? Nooooooooooope!

    Like

  23. I printed one of the pics from the book onto shrink plastic, but it’s only mostly done because every time I add some color my brain tells me “you have the color sense of a four year old”. So it is taking a long time to get it done.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. So I have to ask…there is a picture of a row of houses (kindof looks like a little river of houses) that you’ve posted on your blog…I went to find it in the coloring book and it’s not there. Is my coloring book defective?? They’re such cute little houses and I wanted to color them in shades of blues and greens. Please tell me it isn’t in there and I don’t have to hunt down the bastard that stole my house picture out of my coloring book!
    See…coloring reduces stress…unless someone stole your picture!

    Like

  25. Oh, thank you so much! I LOVE that app – although it really pisses me off that it costs $30/year (or more) to get the coolest colors and pictures.

    Like

  26. I don’t know… I don’t want to be the one to break it to you, but sometimes predictive text and spell-check know things that we don’t. Watch out for biting aunts. They go for eyes.

    Also, I was nearly killed by a falling squirrel yesterday (no, not flying. Falling. Gravity was definitely not his friend.) And I thought of you. It seemed surreal enough to be a Jenny-moment.

    Liked by 1 person

    becomingcliche recently posted Looking For the Joy.

  27. I did the same as I do with maze books. I copy then color the copy so I can do many variations.

    Like

  28. 28
    Anonymous

    I thought your one drawing said “her gift was leaving….” which I thought was pretty funny. I know some people like that. When they leave…it’s a gift.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Ryan Reynolds at the end is killing me! LOL

    Like

    thompsonhouseblog recently posted I Am Begging You!.

  30. I love Recolor!!!! So less stressful than real coloring

    Like

  31. Dear diary,
    Today, my aunt bit my eye.
    Hold me, I’m scared.

    Liked by 1 person

    theonetruelorax recently posted Growth.

  32. you are assuming that the ant started on the ground and worked it’s way up. maybe it was one of those australian drop-ants and it started at the top of your head and worked it’s way down, so it attacked much closer to it’s initial invasion point.

    Like

  33. I got bitten by an aunt…had to get a tetanus shot after.

    Like

  34. I bought your book!!! It’s coming today! I’m soooo excited 😊 😝😜🤗!!!!!

    Like

  35. Maybe your aunt was just hungry?

    Like

  36. 36
    Jennifer A.

    LOL about the ant. I had a carpenter bee sting me on my nipple when I was 24. I mean in his defense he hit me in the back of the head to tell me to get the F out of dodge since they had an unknown nest up in the eave of a two story house and I was in the front yard, but still. So I swatted him off my head and apparently he landed on the front of my shirt and I wasn’t wearing a bra. I was like WTF! I ran inside and told my parents that I had been stung as I was holding my breast. LOL so my dad goes out and find the nest, puts the ladder against the house and goes up there and he gets to the hole and a bee comes out and greets him. He said ” well hi there little buddy!” The bee chased him down the ladder and stung him on his lip. Well played bee…good home defense. LOL

    Like

  37. Holy crap! By an ant! What the hell were you doing? By the way, I was turned down for TMS therapy because I have a titanium plate in my neck but just began Alpha-Stim. I think it’s way cooler, so F those mofo’s and their magnetic TMS bullshit.
    With love,
    Me.

    Like

    KindasFolk recently posted Wins and Struggles.

  38. “WHEN THINGS GET BAD, JUST REMEMBER…YOU DON’T HAVE TO TAKE THIS BULLSHIT. YOU ARE PORTABLE.”

    We live in an RV.

    I am so printing that to hang in here. Portability for the win! Ha!

    Liked by 1 person

    OwnLessDoMore.us recently posted Yosemite Revisited: More Tips, Less Snark.

  39. YOU DON’T HAVE TO TAKE THIS BULLSHIT. YOU ARE PORTABLE.
    This! This is what I need to remember! It’s time for a new job…

    Liked by 2 people

  40. I’ve also been bit my an ant on my eye and by a mosquito.
    Like wtf world.

    Like

  41. I got bit on my eye by a flea once. Twas not fun.

    Like

  42. That’s really fun!

    Like

  43. 43
    Kelly Stoker

    I’m sorry to bother you about this, but do you know who I contact about not receiving the bag with the book? I got the book from Amazon, but never got the bag. It’s for a friend. Thank you.

    (It was from MacMillan, I think, so maybe try them? Unless you’re out of America because that’s the only place they shipped them to. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  44. Ahahaha you so get me. When the colouring book craze first took off I took ages to choose which ones I wanted and then sat, paralysed with indecision, looking at the giant boxes of crayolas/fancy watercolour pencils/ ALL THE CONNECTOR PENS which I had decided I needed. So then I started looking at Pinterest for inspiration from other people’s colouring in of pages from my books, which led to the realisation that people were achieving colouring in levels that I could only dream of. The shading, Jenny. The SHADING. And around about then I realised this was perhaps not the purpose of mindfulness colouring in books…

    Like

  45. 45
    Melanie Sinclair

    Low tech coloring option- make copies of the image and color them untill you get it right.

    Liked by 1 person

  46. That would be Spellcheck’s crazy Aunt Margarita. Look out for her and her eye-biting ways.

    Like

    mydangblog recently posted My Week 141: OCD Much?.

  47. 47
    Tracy Kidson

    I love your spirit and you inspire me profoundly. Thank you for your sharing. You are doing great things❤️ Tracy

    Liked by 1 person

  48. That’s awesome, I’m going to go get that app now. Thank you! Also, so sorry about your eye, that’s freaking weird. What’s even stranger is my eyes keep wanting to tell me you got bit in your eye by a bat. Which would be weirder. My brain is confusing sometimes.

    Like

  49. I don’t have time to color much anymore because The Viking doesn’t consider coloring to be productive. And by ‘productive’ he means ‘not money-making’. So I said “sex isn’t money-making either” but he says THAT’S different. So then I brought up laundry, grocery shopping, vacuuming, cooking, cleaning the bathroom and cutting his hair. He hollered “For fuck’s sake!!” and stomped back out to the garage to make more money. So I still don’t have time to color. And I’m making his least favorite meal for dinner. :o) Do you feel the love?

    Like

    Mrs. Completely recently posted Just Like Us.

  50. […] via Coloring. But less stressful. (Yes, I am aware how ridiculous this sounds.) — The Bloggess […]

    Like

  51. 51
    Jaqueline Ferraz

    Were you under a tree or something? That would make some sense…
    About the app, that’s an awesome idea! I’m terrible at drawing and I paint for hours because I’m sure it’ll suck (and sucks most of the time), and that’s terrible because it should help to control my anxiety, but no, I just sit there, pick my book without those tiny little details (or they would drive me mad) and I end up tired and wanting to throw it out the window (well, probably mad, then).
    Regardless, your drawings and paintings are gorgeous!

    Anyway, it’s not a big deal, but I’ve sent you an email, and that’s ok if you don’t check it out, because we all should be afraid of them those days (I know I have).

    Like

  52. Beautiful images, bad ant, stoopid spellcheck. I write and do several different kinds of artwork. Before I do any of these, I mentally murder the bitch who sits on my shoulder, judging everything I do. It helps immensely.

    Like

  53. So happy you’re feeling better enough to draw and color! Huzzah!

    Like

  54. I used to eat ants occasionally when I was a kid. I did it on a dare the first time but it turns out they taste tangy like slightly underripe blackberries (I guess it’s the formic acid?) so I just kept doing it because they were yummy.

    Now I’m glad I did. Who knows how many of those little bastards had their eye on my eyes?

    Like

  55. I was bit in the eye a couple weeks ago by a black fly. Those in NH know what they are in my eye swelled shut. I posted a pic on facebook and “friends” said I was brave to post it and were kind of thinking “why did you post that?! Eeewww”
    Beautiful coloring. I’m going to check that out too!

    Like

  56. 56
    Christine D.

    Super fun, not the being bitten by an ant in the eye part, that part sounds extra awful. Also…incredible anal? (While I know it was most likely a typo the 7 year old boy in me couldn’t help but giggle.) ❤

    (Jesus, spellcheck has a problem with ants but lets this pass? DAMMIT, SPELLCHECK. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  57. And also yeah, it took me weeks to finally convince myself to put pen to paper in your book, and when I did I realized only after coloring in a shit ton of stars that the pens I was using were bleeding through the page to the other side and ruining that picture before I’d had a chance to do anything to it deliberately, and everything was awful and I haven’t colored a thing since. So thanks for the heads-up on the app, I can’t wait to try it out.

    Like

  58. Jenny you are priceless and so necessary to my semi sanity. Thank you for being you. 😙

    Like

  59. AH-MAZING. Love that!!

    Like

  60. can you turn the blue and yellow with the flower center into plates????

    (As you wish: https://www.zazzle.com/i_made_this_plate_yall_melamine_plate-115640934630297325?rf=238233029691800410 ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 3 people

  61. I have to ask..when you draw, do you do your circles freehand or do you use like a compass or something?

    (The big ones I use a stencil for. The small ones are freehand. ~ Jenny)

    Like

    mommatrek recently posted Um…I might be doing this wrong.

  62. 62
    EssenceOfDog

    Jenny, you have posted lots of evidence that you have wonderful color sense and great coloring skills. You don’t need no stinkin’ coloring app!

    Liked by 1 person

  63. My first thought about this app is ‘cool’. But then it makes me sad. People are afraid of just going for it. Choosing colors because they like them. Who cares what the end result looks like? Who’s actually going to see your coloring book? Are we that scared…we have to all color the same, too? Sorry, it’s no offense at all to your post, because I love the post.

    Liked by 1 person

  64. OMG, this app is amazing. I bought You Are Here, but am so worried about my crappy coloring choices to permanently select a color to put on the paper. The pictures you drew are so amazing and gorgeous. Thanks Jenny!

    Liked by 1 person

  65. Stunning! The “aunt” story and the coloring! I used to love to color as a kid. The Crayola 64 pack was my jam. I never used the sharpener though, it just ate valuable crayon. Just use the side, use the other side, just another side to freshen it up. The same way I handle lipstick now. When people saying coloring is relaxing, I just want to punch them in the face! And lastly, now I know a new phrase. Sometimes you’re the Bloggess and sometimes you’re the ant. I say we give him a little party for being so dedicated and sticking with it despite the odds.

    Liked by 1 person

  66. I LOVE your fights with spellcheck!!!!!! It’s such a bastard sometimes!

    Liked by 1 person

  67. […] was the fact that the ant managed to crawl all the way up to my eye before attacking. … Continue reading → […]

    Liked by 1 person

  68. OMG you are so right! I haven’t been able to color in my book because I keep feeling like I ruined it with my choices on the first page. Which I also haven’t finished.

    Liked by 1 person

  69. SO glad I am not the only person who gets stressed out by all of these “calming” coloring books…

    Like

  70. Google “kuler.” Adobe helps you choose color combinations that look great together.

    Like

  71. I read the words on the one with all the circles as “Her gift was leaving”, which is a gift I would like to receive from some people.

    Liked by 1 person

  72. Dude…I am SO WITH YOU about coloring being stressful! I feel silly whenever I say that, but it TOTALLY IS! Thank you for posting this. I feel vindicated. Or at least not alone in my weirdness. xoxo

    Like

  73. Have you thought about quilting? Because you totally rock that color and design thing!

    Liked by 1 person

  74. I’m one of the people who doesn’t find coloring relaxing at all. Didn’t really enjoy it as a kid. My kids don’t enjoy it either. But your book is beautiful, even just in black and white. ❤

    Like

    Jenny Bristol recently posted Spoonflower’s 12 Days of Design: Day #12: Market Yourself.

  75. I love your style of writing, you’re really funny and make random, everyday things into something so funny! The two unrelated things at the top were super funny.

    Like

  76. Before typing this I already have the sense that you won’t believe me, but I do not lie. During the summers, when I was little and stuck at my Aunt’s house all day and bored out of my mind, one of my tricks to pass the time while being forced to stay outside all day was to lay down in the grass and fill by belly button with water and wait for an ant to crawl on me. Said ant got treated to a free swim in my belly button pool. Even less realistic than spellcheck, but real it was.

    Like

    utterimperfection recently posted On Being Gifted And Finding Your Passion (Subtitled: I’ll Be Surprised If You Even Read This).

  77. Just the thought of that ant crawling on you up to your eye is enough to freak me out. I had an earwig on my neck the other day and I couldn’t stop thinking about it crawling up there and hoping that it just dropped up there or something. I love the idea about recoloring. And I love your coloring. Awesome. 🙂

    Like

  78. i am so glad i’m not the only one to find colouring stressful. i’m glad it helps other people, but for me it’s a massive knot of problems. i have your book, but it’s pristine. i prefer it that way, because i will only fuck it up

    Like

  79. I am an aunt, and a great-aunt too. I love the idea of biting someone (an enemy!!) on the eye. Maybe I will be a great ant too. aarrrrrrrgh

    Like

  80. Also, I have been convinced all my life that ants want to crawl up my legs & make a home inside my lady parts. Once one got all the way to above knee. Proof !!

    Like

  81. 81
    cherylnoble

    Be glad you weren’t in central California where the ants are huge, bite AND stink

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

  82. Hi! Totally get it on the stress of coloring books. Please please can you tell me: when you draw your shapes–concentric circles, concentric rectangles- the ones where you are repeating lines in the same shape– do you keep the distance so even between the lines-within-the shapes? This is so hard to ask in words! anyway thanks for you and your youness

    Like

  83. I love your colouring in Jenny. I can’t do it, I always go outside the lines.

    Like

    Gary Lum recently posted 10 reasons why podcasting is fun.

  84. 84
    eccentricelena

    I also find colouring pretty stressful, what helped me is the suggestion that you don’t actually have to colour in ALL the spaces… if you just put “highlights” in certain places it also looks pretty good… I also have created this weird rule of threes… where for any shape (such as a leaf) where there are multiple segments making up a whole I pick three different shades of a colour (say… green) then I somewhat randomly fill in the segments. Then I colour in all the similar shapes (all the leaves) with the same three shades in random patterns… It is very strange but makes it so much less stressful for me! That being said… I will totally be checking out this app!

    Like

  85. Recolor’s pretty awesome. I’ve used it when I can’t color by hand (pencil? I mean, you’re technically still using your hands…) because of nerve problems.
    One time, I woke up to a spider placidly sitting on my eye. It didn’t bite me. That was probably the most surprising part.

    Liked by 1 person

    jeccav recently posted Gluten-free, Nut-free, Flourless, Vegan Cookies with Chemistry.

  86. As an artist, I’m always questioning everything I do, then someone said to me, “Comparison is the thief of joy”. So, when I go to color in my “You Are Here” book, I just grab a color and start. Just do it and don’t worry about if everything matches or not. You’re not doing it for anyone else but yourself. Ultimately, it’s about the process, not the end result. that’s why it’s therapeutic.

    Liked by 2 people

  87. Oh, and I’m glad it wasn’t a fire ant that bit you. That would really suck. We don’t have to listen to that inner judge when it comes to coloring. Tell it to shut the fuck up because coloring should be about play and letting that inner child come out.

    Liked by 2 people

  88. I once had roach fall from the ceiling into my bra during a meeting, there was this strange moment of clarity where I thought ” well-played fucker.” before ripping my shirt off and flapping my bra up and down. Not a great day.

    Liked by 1 person

  89. I once had roach fall from the ceiling into my bra during a meeting, there was this strange moment of clarity where I thought ” well-played fucker.” before ripping my shirt off and flapping my bra up and down. Not a great day.

    Liked by 1 person

    DGGYST recently posted 6 Things You Don’t Know About Applying False Eyelashes.

  90. You did this just for me, didn’t you. I mean the recolor thing, not the ant/aunt thing. However, the ant/aunt thing made me laugh so thank you for both of your unrelated things which I just managed to connect. You’re welcome.

    Like

  91. The first time I was stung by a wasp, it got me on my eyelid. The second time, that little fucker got me on my ass. I don’t know what this says about me, but Google can NEVER take it away from me.

    Like

  92. 92
    Jim Finley

    Youch. Maybe it had been a cat in its previous life and came back as an ant because it earned crappy karma? Cats supposedly like to eat our eyeballs and lips if we’re considerate enough to die in the vicinity. As for me, I’m an uncle, and have never bitten anyone’s eye. But for some people I’d consider it.

    Like

  93. When my son was 18 months old we found a tick nestled in his eyelashes! At least that made some sense because he likely got it from tall grass that was at his eye level (hubs found one on his own leg at about the same height).
    I also freeze when choosing colours (and beat myself up for bad choices). May have to check out that app.

    Like

  94. That ant’s got game!

    BTW, I think your handwriting is very nice — mine always looks like I’m writing with the pen in my nose.

    Like

  95. Coloring is about the process, not the results. Just put the marker to the paper and GO! Start with a cheap book from the dollar store if this concept is too scary to use in Jenny’s book. You’ll get the hang of it.

    Liked by 2 people

  96. Ow, I’m reading the Poisonwood Bible and there was a pretty horrible any scene in there as well. Love the new drawing. Maybe you should keep those aside for the next book!

    Liked by 1 person

    Shari recently posted New Article on Handmade Salve.

  97. Ant scene. That was supposed to say any scene………

    Liked by 1 person

  98. 99
    Anonymous

    Yes! I need this… A friend recommended I color to take my mind off of things and to help me relax. I don’t think I’ve ever been more stressed! I mean, can you imagine, I colored outside of the lines! NOOOOO!

    Liked by 1 person

  99. 100
    Anonymous

    I think your ant was likely infected with a parasite that was exerting mind control. Apparently this is quite common. A quick google search suggests that there are multiple possibilities:

    This seems quite likely:

    There is a fungus that infects the ant, takes over its brain, and makes it climb up vegetation and clamp on tightly. Then the ant’s head explodes as the fungus sprouts out of it.

    But this is also possible:

    Here there is a parasitic worm. There is also mind control-induced climbing but no biting. I thought you’d want to know about it because snail slime plays a role, and also because if you ate the ant, you could develop a liver infection. You didn’t eat the ant, did you?

    Like

  100. It’s not my color choices that make coloring stressful to me, it’s that I don’t seem to have the fine motor control to stay in the little tiny spaces that adult coloring books have. So my coloring ends up making my hand cramp, being messy, and overall not relaxing.

    Also, the first time I heard the term “adult coloring book” I was a little afraid to google it. I did not expect something so innocent.

    Like

  101. Love your drawings, love Recolor. Two great tastes taste great together!

    Liked by 1 person

  102. Last year I was bit by a brown recluse spider which can be fatal. Of course it wasn’t in my eye but I’m figuring that since one of us had to die and I didn’t, it must have been him…little bastard!

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    mylifeiswear.com recently posted I’m Going To Write My Way Out of This.

  103. Love the circular one, second from the top. I would totally buy a set of dinner plates that look like that.

    Like

  104. By the way, is your eye alright?

    Like

  105. You killed the ant, right? and, thank god it wasn’t your Aunt! Right?!

    Like

  106. In my 93 year old mother’s last months of life, she asked for crayons and a coloring book. She did everything wrong, pink trees and green dogs, etc. I never knew if she just did it to mess with me, but I smiled and said, “very nice!” If she did it for a reaction, she must have been disappointed.

    Liked by 1 person

  107. 109
    Billandjen Hughes

    I keep getting bit by ticks in places you don’t want ticks. They are freaking me out……..jen

    Liked by 1 person

  108. I wrote this to you from bed. Having a weird medical issues day. Got to love when a doctor looks at you and says hmmm, you should be fine. And gives some antibiotics.
    I feel that way colouring all the time. I have only coloured one picture from your book because after I coloured it I felt like I ruined your book then I curled up in bed crying thinking if you ever saw it you would take my book away. Yup that’s how my mind works, fun times. My therapist told me you don’t know where I am so how can you steal back your book that I bought legally. I like her.
    An ant bit you in the eye! That makes me think a few things. That ant had dedication to go for the eye. Scary as hell ants are attacking and using the tactic to go for the eyes first. This is why your husband should let you get an ant eater. You need to protect your family Jenny!!

    Liked by 1 person

  109. The last filter looks like a plate design, so pretty I would love to have plates with this design.

    Liked by 1 person

  110. 112
    @shthisisme

    Sorry about the ant attack. Maybe take some pre emptive Benadryl in case you are allergic.
    Keep cam and color on!

    PS I have had some previous experience with anemia and vitamin deficiencies and in addition to taking everything the doctor prescribed I found Garden of Life Raw Meal, which is basically a protein powder with lots of nutrients in it. It really helped. Those deficiencies screw everything up, from making depression and insomnia worse. Wreaking havoc on skin, hair and nails, etc. Hope your recovery is as speedy as possible. It is a long haul back to feeling well again after having that level of depletion. I feel for you, it sucks.

    Liked by 1 person

  111. 113
    Iain McDonald

    Maybe the ant has a cordyceps and it thought you were the tree it had to latch onto.
    I realllly hope you knew about the nightmare world of cordyceps before now.

    Liked by 1 person

  112. My husband: Well, you’re an ant.
    Me: What the fuck? That’s not even funny. YOU’RE AN ANT!
    Him: Jesus. No. You are an AUNT.
    Me: Oh. Haha! Right. I am an aunt.

    Like

    Steph recently posted Painting, otherwise known as hell on earth..

  113. omg i love these so hard. i treat YOU ARE HERE like the best chocolate i can afford. i save it for special “me” occasions, carefully pick on out and just eat one at a time. i agonize over the color choices too. But when i’m done with one, it has become a little part of me.
    Just like the chocolate that we digest and it becomes part of me.
    And stays with me.
    Minus the eventual..you know…pooping.

    Like

    Candice recently posted “Natural” Disasters.

  114. Um, those round colored versions of your drawings need to be made into fine frigging China!

    Like

  115. I once got bit by what I maintain was a fire ant even though people keep telling me we don’t have them here but what the hell else is red, an ant, and bites you in a way that hurts for days? And it bit me at uh, to put it delicately, the very top of my inner thigh. How the fucker managed to climb all the way up the inside of my pants before biting remains a mystery to this day.

    Like

  116. I tried adult colouring books when I knew you were going to publish one, just so I could practice. I couldn’t do it because I was so critical of what I’d done. And yet, when I got your book, I just felt I had to try again. The difference for me was your artwork wasn’t as “perfect” as the books I’d tried and failed at. Your drawings have their own small imperfections, and I have learned to overlook my own mistakes while colouring them. Nobody sees them but me, anyway. Also, I can’t believe, in your whale with a gun picture, that you didn’t mention killer whales, or make a pun about gunwales. Anyways, I hope your eye is okay. I’ve only ever had a mosquito bite my eyelid; ants usually stick to biting my ankles.

    Like

  117. Gorgeous colors!!! I have been coloring your book, but haven’t finished any one picture, although I’ve started several (honest, I don’t have ADD. I don’t think). I wish my handwriting was as “bad” as yours. I can barely read my own printing unless I consciously attempt to copy my father’s handwriting (everyone else in my family could have been print scribes for a font company…).

    I was painting my toenails and the brush came off the thing that holds it in the lid. Now I have a basically worthless bottle of vibrant green polish and sort-of finished toenails. I tell you this because I feel you could commiserate.

    Liked by 1 person

  118. 120
    -DieAnne

    Whern will you be selling that charger, plate, and bowl with the flower in it, from the first few pictures of this post? Do I hear a new business endeavor? Fine Dining by Jenny Lawson, perhaps? I look forward to purchasing it soon from your store.

    Liked by 1 person

  119. If you enjoy coloring apps, I HIGHLY recommend the BBC Planet Earth 2 app (I believe it’s called BBC earth colouring). There a couple of freebies, and then you can buy a couple of sets (the money goes to BBC funding new programs, I think.) I sadly can’t leave a picture, but you can either do simple poke and paint by numbers, or get all fancy with your shading. So once you run through Jenny’s, you can do flying lizards, and anteaters, and lions.

    Ooh – or maybe I can leave a picture on twitter. Seeing if this works: https://twitter.com/jwdmeow/status/872966291014811648

    Liked by 1 person

  120. 122
    Anonymous

    I am sorry about your eye. I refuse to be impressed by such an evil creature. Those little jerks are so small but they hurt like MF protect my babies and also I am going to make you regret that you ever lived itch pain from hell. Currently fighting off a whole colony who took over my god damn compost pile. So far I have sustained 4 bites on my upper thigh and one on my right pinky. I am an organic gardener but seriously considering going all Agent Orange on them. In any case, I will win. Separately, I discovered that Sarna is really good for the itching as is salt.
    Secondly, how do you know me so well? I even have the special pencils you gave out but don’t want to “ruin” You Are Here. Presto Magic. Thank you so much for all the beauty and humor you release into the world. You are like 🌈🦄🦋 and definitely not biting 🐜. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  121. 123
    denise dietrick

    the ant did not climb up…it made it’s way down from your hair, which in no way makes it better. ps, i love ALL of your stuff, you are incredible!!

    Liked by 1 person

  122. I’ve seen so many ads for the Recolor app in all of the useless cell phone games I play. I was pretty unimpressed with it, but this post sold me. You have a dark power, Jenny, making people download free apps they otherwise wouldn’t use.

    Like

    Aidan recently posted Plan with Me 6/5/17 – 6/11/17.

  123. Oh my gods. I thought I was the only person ever who had fucking-up-the-coloring-book anxiety.

    Like

  124. 126
    Anonymous

    If I had a chance to punch/bite god in the eye, I’d take it too.

    Like

  125. Ok, well I’m going to need that first swirly blue and yellow design with the flower painted on a set of dinner plates.

    Like

  126. I am so relieved, I thought I was the only person who found colouring stressful.

    Like

  127. Thank you. Thank you very much for posting this; I had thought I was the only one who finds colouring stressful. And thank you for the app idea — I look forward to trying out this app to see if it might be a good thing for me.

    Like

  128. When I was 11 we (my 7 months pregnant stepmom, me, my aunt, and two teen girls she mentored) drove from Minnesota to Florida to spend two days at Disney. We stayed in a cheap hotel in a nearby town and overnight a roach (we assume) bit me on the eyelid. I walked around the park that day with my eye swollen mostly shut and hives all over my body. Just what every 11 year old girl wants to do, especially in the company of two gorgeous teen girls.

    Like

  129. I am SO glad to hear that other people think coloring is stressful. I tried to use it as a ‘rejuvenator’ on my last day of studying for the CPA exam and I was SO PAINFULLY TENSE after one small mandala that I scrapped that idea and watched cat videos on youtube instead. I think being a control freak makes coloring difficult as well. I have no problem picking colors…but the result isn’t as fine as I want, or the shades I want, and and and…

    (Also I just finished Furiously Happy (I loved it); please tell Victor I understand him. I UNDERSTAND YOU, VICTOR.)

    Like

  130. 132
    ocularnervosa

    I didn’t color them in because I like them the way they are.

    Like

  131. Ant/Aunt??? Hm. This is a for-real Facebook post after something bit my eyebrow 4 days ago.
    Well, the skin right under it but still… What is it with these insects and the eyes?

    “What NOT to do if you think your face has been bitten by a spider:
    1) Explain to your friends that you believe a spider is the reason your face looks like you just went 10 rounds w Rocky Balboa.
    Everyone knows someone whose best friend’s second cousin’s neighbor had to have their big toe, both arms, and possibly their head amputated because of a spider bite.
    2) Google “spider bite” images. Utterly horrifying … Much worse than your friends’ tales.
    Ugh. Ugly.”

    Liked by 1 person

  132. Your drawings are beautiful…

    Liked by 1 person

    The Hellion recently posted 10 Reasons Why I’m Not Married.

  133. Okay, wait. I have one question: the eyelid or the eyeball?

    Like

    Awkwardly Alive recently posted I expect puppies and other updates..

  134. I have a humongous favor to ask of someone, anyone within this community. My dearest friend I’ve known since elementary school is really struggling right now. He’s facing numerous debilitating health issues and on on top of that is struggling with alcohol addiction. He’s seeking help through a rehab program but they won’t be able to get him a bed in their facility until June 21st. So I’m trying to come up with as many options for him to utilize for support, distraction, coping tools, etc… until then.

    We’ve found some support groups he’ll be going to, but as many of you probably know the time our demons crawl out of the shadows is in the wee hours of the night. I want so much to share Jenny’s stories with him as a source of comfort and distraction to help him through those nights. I also wanted him to have them for when he is in Rehab for down time between therapy and such, as they’re not allowed any electronic devices during their stay. And it is absolutely breaking my heart that I have to ask “the internet” to help me give my friend this gift because he means so very much to me, but I am barely able to support my family at the moment and have no extra funds available. Matthew is family, he quite literally saved my life when I had an emotional breakdown in my 20’s. I don’t know what I would do without him. I could write paragraphs and paragraphs about what he means to me.

    I’ve put all three of Jenny’s books on this linked Wish List below, I am not going to be greedy though and ask for more than one. One will be more than enough and I swear with all my heart and soul I WILL pay it forward as soon as I am able. I’ve set the list’s address up so that it would go directly to him. I THINK I’ve selected the cheapest option of paperbacks, but please feel free to let me know if I’ve set it up wrong.
    For Matthew
    Link: http://a.co/hd2d5aV
    Thank you.

    Like

  135. Crap, forgot to add, Jenny, please forgive me if I was inappropriate in asking this here, I will not take any offence in my request being removed. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  136. 138
    Kristina Cline

    That last gif though, so funny!

    I am an avid ACTUAL coloring person. And I do meet people who are afraid to start. I always recommend starting on a page you don’t care too much about, so you can get a feel for the pencils/markers whatnot. Dedicate a sacrificial page.

    Liked by 1 person

  137. your humor is classic and those pictures gorgeous. Love it ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  138. officially love the one that includes the phrase “you don’t have to take this bullshit, you are portable”…

    Liked by 1 person

  139. People tend to give me coloring books a lot. And for some reason I have started buying the myself. But just like you I experience a certain amount of anxiety when it comes to using them. A while ago I started scanning the ones whose copyright allows you to, and I keep them on a flash drive with each book in an individual folder. I don’t ever print them, but have still found that having that backup gives me the freedom to not care about messing things up as much. I have even started to break into the ones I can’t copy( I’m a rule follower) because I have so many books many of which are backed up.

    Liked by 1 person

  140. My aunt would definitely bite someone in the eye. Maybe Spellcheck and I are distant relatives.

    Like

    Allie W. recently posted I'm old and I blame kylie jenner.

  141. 143
    Anonymous

    You have no idea how that quote about being portable has helped me!

    Like

  142. 144
    Anonymous

    Thank you! I own (and love) your coloring book. I would LOVE to destress over some coloring, however due to some nasty orthopedic issues I’ve had some bones in my hands removed, and my thumbs fused and I can’t really hold a pencil well. (Despite what my daughter may have told you, my lack of opposable thumbs does NOT rescind my status as a primate) But I DO have a finger to point at my tablet and now I can color too! Yay! (Is it insensitive to make the pun “hand”icapped if I’m referring to myself?)

    Like

  143. GIF game so strong. : )

    I love your colouring book, but I had this thought: I have to buy two. One to wreck with my crappy colouring skills and one to just keep pristine.

    I am willing to bet I am not the only one.

    Like

    peady recently posted Late Night Friday Fun or How to Write a Blog Post in 10 Minutes.

  144. What struck me was that the ant climbed all the way to your eye without your feeling it. Hmm… interesting. No judging here. Not saying your face is asleep (or lazy) or anything.

    The app is great. I had used another colouring app (very calming), but love that I can colour pictures that I take. I wonder if I could apply this to quilt designs, selecting colours, etc. Something to play with. Cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

    Leah recently posted I’ve Declared War!.

  145. My daughter suffers from anxiety so I got some coloring books for her but she had the same color combo stress so I ended up getting her the color by number coloring books. Then she stressed about coloring outside the lines and I haven’t found a fix for that!

    Liked by 1 person

  146. This app makes me SO HAPPY! The first day I started coloring I panicked and took a picture first, then I started coloring, only to find out my pencils weren’t nearly as vivid as I wanted. I didn’t want to ruin the amazing art in your book. Then the next day my hand was killing me from holding so tight to my pencil.
    This lets me put in the colors I imagine, in little taps, and erase anything that goes wrong just as easily! It’s let me breathe and have fun with it!
    Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

    Liked by 1 person

  147. The comment above was me, on my phone. I was going to include a screen shot but I couldn’t figure out how.
    Thank you again, for helping someone with similar neurosis!

    Liked by 1 person

  148. My printer is one of those all-in-one jobbies, so I just photocopy the page I want to colour and draw on that. Keeps the colouring book pristine for reuse. Because I’m a geek (and also have been conditioned to consider writing in books a mortal sin).

    Liked by 1 person

  149. How do you always manage to make me laugh and cry at the same time?

    Liked by 1 person

  150. I don’t know why, but whenever my anxiety goes through the roof and I manage to remember to go read your blog it always calms me down. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  151. Brilliant…BTW, coloring inside the lines…well, A, I don’t do it, B, I just feel bad for people who do! Love your masterpieces!

    Liked by 1 person

  152. 154
    policychick

    Okay I really love that last drawing, mainly because at first glance, I thought the central black shape(s) was a whale’s tail, with maybe the extra bit of black in the lower left was a baby whale underneath or something?, and then I realized the whole thing was two birds but I still think it’s a whale and the whole thing made me happy. The end.

    Liked by 1 person

  153. So I am sure I am not the first person to comment this but I REALLY WANT THIS AS A PLACE SETTING AT MY HOUSE! Actually there are a couple I would LOVE to turn into plates to use around the house. I’m just say Jen, there’s your next project right there! Feed the hungry or help those who are fighting eating disorders. I will HAPPILY help get that started for ya!

    Liked by 1 person

    angeladaulton recently posted Just a storm.

  154. I love the idea of this app, but was disappointed that iTunes says you have to have an iPhone or an iPad. Then I remembered about Google Play and asked if Recolor was available for pc or android – and it is! I’m looking forward to trying it out.

    Liked by 1 person

  155. I am having a tough time at work and I LOVE the portable one!

    Liked by 1 person

  156. Stressful is trying to color with crayons/ pencils that are not clearly labeled, you don’t want to use the same color twice on the same picture and your color blind. 0.o I wish I was making this up.

    Liked by 1 person

  157. Stressful is trying to color with crayons/ pencils that are not clearly labeled, you don’t want to use the same color twice on the same picture and your color blind. 0.o I wish I was making this up.

    Liked by 1 person

  158. So now I feel like a dumbass because you DID make it into a plate! Sorry for the slowness. Still, if you decide you want to market to Lenox let me know. I can help head that up. Googles “How to market to Lenox” We got this!

    Liked by 1 person

    angeladaulton recently posted #SaveTheDay.

  159. 161
    Anonymous

    I’ve been struggling to take the time to work on my art and just being generally creative…life just seems so busy. Seeing this has further motivated me to make the time for it because it brings me so much joy! Coloring your book is in that category too!

    Like

  160. One thing i have learned about coloring is there is no wrong or right to it. Don’t over think it. Just let the “you” come out and it will be beautiful no matter what anyone thinks. My sister is an artist and tried to criticize my first one of these I did. I just told her that it was about me and how I feel at that moment…that is real! Jenny, I almost have enough completed to fill my sanctuary and will send once completed. Right now, though, I am working on one of yours for my mother’s birthday. Happy (or not) coloring……it is very therapeutic for everyone..

    Like

  161. Hey guys,
    Since I didn’t have an account with Zazzle yet, I had to join the cult of the ZAzz to get a plate. While looking for Jenny’s plate that I must have, I scrolled through a shit ton of OTHER plates and stuff that I want and I think I NEED. Zazzle is very dangerous for me right now, as I am on such a sucky limited budget. I’m not working, disabled because my back is 4 kinds of fucked up and the surgeon was like, “I think perhaps you need to get a second and third opinion about your needed surgery.”
    Which really means, “I don’t think I can fix all that mess up in there, so let someone else do it, please.” I’ve consulted with this doctor two times and I’ve paid him almost $500 just for his opinion. Is this normal ? Now I consult someone else who I pay initial consulting fee of almost $300? What if I didn’t have these (to me) huge amounts of money? I really DO need surgery , obviously, and insurance and deductibles SUCK BALLS.
    THAnks for listening. I’m going to get Jenny’s plate to cheer me. Sidebar [Went to the feed store to get my boxer’s expensive freaking dog food and samples of food for our new schnoodle (name undecided: we’ve thrown around Oliver, Billiam-rhymes with William, Little—as in we have Jax, the big doggo and now Billy, the little pupper, and others that my kids probably can remember,) so, anyway, while looking through my purse for the debit card to buy dog and bird food and yard eggs, {here is the point of this story}, I found my knife that sweet JLawson signed for me. So I whip it out at the counter and say, “See! It says ‘FEELING STABBY! And it’s signed by my favorite author! BECAUSE SOMETIMES I’M FEELING STABBY!” I added that had yet to stab anyone, but that the knife if my purse comes in handy pretty dang often.
    The sweet older gentleman who sells me dog food regularly just nodded, noticed I was wearing my pajama pants, and smiled at me. He did not back away. The helper girl kinda did. She looked as though she thought anything could and may happen to her exposed body parts.]end of sidebar
    Gotta figure out how to Getz Jenny’s (spellcheck) again, how to get Jenny’s plate without being tempted by the Cult of ZAzz. There’s awesome stuff available, and I am not getting disability payments, so I can’t stray from the budget path. Maybe I can find a way.
    Be good to one another. No stabbing, just for today.

    Like

  162. Great post.

    Like

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