They’re like snow peas, but with less carbs. I assume.

Me: Dude.  The news just said that snow leopards are no longer endangered, so guess what’s for dinner?

Victor: Are they no longer endangered because there are more of them or because now they’re extinct?

me:  Oh.  I don’t know.  Damn.  My joke just went from dark to tragic.

PS.  They’re not extinct. But they’re still not in great shape.  Don’t eat them.

PPS. The last 6 months have been filled with “I’M DYING” illnesses and procedures and invasive bullshit but I have a few updates.

I still don’t have answers for all the anemias but they’ve at least ruled out all the scary stuff and are settling into “Well, you’re just fucked up but you’ll probably live.”  My liver is rebelling from the effects of this fuck-off-tuberculosis medicine, which means I have to stop drinking until the TB is gone and do constant blood work to check my levels.  Not a fan.  Of the not drinking, I mean.  The blood work is old hat.  BUT!!!  I just got back from my GP and 80% of the problems I’d had 6 months ago (extreme vitamin and hormone deficiencies, thyroid problems, clotting problems, cholesterol, pre-diabetic, etc.) are now gone.  WHOOP!  I still have to stay on the (literally) two shoeboxes full of pills and supplements and keep up this terrible low-carb, low-sugar diet for the moment, but I feel mostly human compared to where I was six months ago so I’m (grudgingly) fine with that.  Also, I’ve lost 30 pounds, so I went from “obese” to “overweight” and that’s very nice, except I’m now slightly less successful at bending my spine back and resting my hand on my belly while asking anxiously if I can use the restrooms in stores where customers aren’t allowed to use the restrooms.  Bit of a mixed bag there.  But I’ll take it.

PPPS.  Also, I have to do blood work constantly so “See doctor for blood work” is all over my calendar, but google autocorrected it to “See doctor for blood worms” once so now when I type in “See doctor” it automatically fills in “FOR BLOOD WORMS” and I should probably fix that but I’ve decided to keep it because it’s a nice reminder that even though I seem to collect disorders I can at least be grateful that I don’t have blood worms.

PPPPS.  Yet.

PPPPPS.  That I know of.

PPPPPPS.  Fuck.  I think I just gave myself blood worms and I don’t even know if that’s a real thing.

PPPPPPPPS. If “leopards” is spelled almost the same as “leotards”, why don’t we pronounce them the same?

106 replies. read them below or add one

  1. You just made me feel so much better about the fact that there might, or might not, be a gremlin* growing in my brain. The, “we have to do imaging but have to do 12 tests first and we’re not sure what we’re going to do in what order” dance is SO old already and I’ve only been doing it for a month.

    Thank you, Jenny. Wishing you and the Blood Worms the best.

    *Gremlin is different than Brain Weasels, I’ve had those for a LONG time. We’re old … friends?

    Liked by 2 people

    Kelly and Geoff recently posted Today in Civil War History -A Defiant Refusal to Give Up.

  2. Is blood worms from The Strain? My phone tried to autocorrect to work!

    (AND the blood worms from The Strain cause blood loss. I think we just diagnosed my problems. I’m a vampire. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 6 people

  3. Now I can’t stop thinking about the strain…and how that horrible kid is worse than Carl from The Walking Dead.

    Liked by 3 people

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  4. I was going to order snow leopard on my pizza tonight, but now I am having second thoughts.

    Glad you’re just fucked up and not dying.

    Liked by 1 person

    Michelle recently posted Boundaried and Gagged.

  5. Didn’t you have someone who was trying to convince you to become a vampire by mail order? Or was that Allie Brosh? Maybe I’m getting my fabulous bloggers mixed up.

    (That was me. And Brad Dingelman. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 4 people

  6. Wow…but being a vampire would be awesome tho, right? Silver lining…

    Like

    Kayjai recently posted Friday, Fall and Garden Gnome Gary.

  7. I think eating snow leopard would give you blood worms…

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Have your doctors considered that the amount of blood work they are doing is causing the anemia? That all your missing blood is in little viles in laboratories?

    Liked by 6 people

  9. Leonardo
    Leotardo
    Leopardo

    Liked by 3 people

  10. Have you read The Plague and I by Betty MacDonald? It’s about her year in a hospital for tuberculosis in the thirties, and it’s both very funny and will make you overwhelmingly grateful for antibiotics.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Wait, it’s not lee-oh-pahrds?

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Yay for improving health! And losing weight.

    Like

  13. I’m so glad your health is getting better! (P.S. Will try to remember not to order the snow leopard next time).

    Like

  14. Your mind is my absolute favourite place in the world to visit. Thank you, Jenny, for not having blood worms and for simply being you. My day just got a-whole-fucking-lot better because of you.

    Liked by 2 people

    the incurable dreamer recently posted new york state of mind.

  15. Blood worms are a kind of massive bug larvae that you can buy at the pet store and feed to fish and frogs. The more you know⭐️

    Liked by 1 person

  16. So I’m a doctor and I have blood worms I feed my fish. You can have some too if you want.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. I think you’re anemic from all of the blood draws!

    Liked by 1 person

  18. I’ve heard of Regulan Bloodworms. According to Korax (and he’s Klingon, so I guess he would know?) Regulan Bloodworms are “soft and shapeless” so that doesn’t sound too awful.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. Awesome! So glad for you about improving health! I’ve noticed that,since losing weight, people don’t move out of my way as much. Guess I’ll have to perfect my Resting Bitch Face a little more…

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  20. Blood worms are a delightful treat that you can feed your fish. They can also make you break out and pray for death. So wash your hands thoroughly. Every cat I’ve ever owned has been infested with brain worms. Either that or they are seeing ghouls and ghosties and long-leggedity beasties and were dashing about to cope with it. I chose Oreos, Dr. Pepper, and binge watching The Night Stalker, which was more effective than you might imagine.

    Like

  21. Well done, Jenny!!! It sounds as if you have been practicing some bodacious self-care. Well done, sticking to the awful diet and losing 30 pounds. We love you thick or thin, but your self-care seems to be having positive effects, so keep up the good work!

    I have been much less successful at self-care recently, as I have chosen to deal with dreadful doctors by eating all my feelings. (I won’t tempt you with the details.) But I shall use your example as my inspiration, and get back on my wretched diet.

    I wonder how blood worms taste? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  22. “My Shit’s Fucked Up” Warren Zevon. Great song.

    Oh. Wait. He died. Not from blood worms though.

    Glad you’re feeling better. 👍

    Like

  23. Once when I was about 8.5 months pregnant with my 3rd and had the other two in tow, ages 4 and 2.5, I asked if there was any way I could use the bathroom in a “no public bathrooms” place and they looked at me, then at my kids, and SAID NO. I nearly peed on the floor in defiance. But then my pants would have been wet and that would have been unpleasant to drive home in.

    Like

  24. First. I am so glad you are better! Second, you made me remember a gross ditty from my childhood: “the worms crawl in, the worms crawl out….”. I now have the ultimate Ear Worm. About Worms. And I blame you.

    (They eat your eyes, they eat your nose… I memorized that whole poem when I was a kid. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 2 people

  25. 25
    Survivngonempty

    Just got done getting IV, in which the nurses blew three veins, and still wanted to keep playing. Had to do it for a CT scan of my head since I’m going on 3 weeks with no explanation of why my head is swimming all thr time. Ruled out all of the normal causes. But I’m a little like you, in that I have multiple disorders that all like to randomly screw with each other for fun. Have you ever been checked for Lyme disease? It comes from a tick bite. I have the incurable version because I’m just that lucky. Lol but it causes almost all of your systems to go beer for seemingly no reason. Just a thought…..praying for answers for you too.

    (I don’t have it, knock on wood. Sending you love! ~ Jenny)

    Like

  26. And if “jeopardy” means danger, why don’t we call a specific threat a “jeopard”?

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Which are worse: Brain Worms or Brain Weasels? I’m thinking Brain Worms. Except I have Hamster Brain when I’m trying to sleep. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w-DNjeGcTmk

    Like

    Janet Coburn recently posted Who Is a Lady?.

  28. That’s great news, about you, I’m still concerned about Snow Leopards. Things are finally starting to come up Jenny.

    Like

  29. It’s amazing to me how much a healthy diet can change a person’s health for the better. Almost makes me want to cancel the pizza I’ve ordered for lunch…nah, I’m good with dying young.

    (I wouldn’t call it “healthy”. Cheese, bacon, burgers without the bun, fried eggs. Vodka until recently. I was shocked that my cholesterol wasn’t through the roof. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 2 people

  30. Glad you’re feeling better/ Well, better than the snow leopards, anyway. And blood worms? I can totally relate, given my recent panic attack over face bugs.

    Like

    mydangblog recently posted My Week 155: The Ravings of a Madwoman, I Am Officially Bug-Free.

  31. I used to feed freeze dried blood worms to my pet dwarf aquatic frog. It’s their favorite. (P.S. the frog’s name was Gimli cause I’m a giant nerd.)

    Like

  32. When I first saw the word “leopard” in print, I did try to pronounce it to rhyme with leotard.
    On a more serious note, I hereby offer you a lobe of my own liver in case you need to replace yours. (Did you know that they grow back like an amoeba?) Unless I die in a car accident in which case you can have the whole thing. I’m on all the donor lists. Just let me know. About the lobe, I mean. I would probably be unreachable if you needed the whole thing but I was already dead from the car accident, but I could add a note in my file that you get first dibs.

    Anyone else here need replacement body parts? I have an extra kidney that I could probably do without.

    [I am weird, but I’m serious about helping people any way I can.]

    Liked by 2 people

  33. Henceforth I shall now pronounce it lee-o-pard. (The “henceforth” makes this statement fancy instead of just “WTH”.)

    Like

  34. You’ve been pronouncing leopards incorrectly the whole time….it DOES rhyme with leotards. Silly girl, everyone knows that. 😉

    Like

  35. 35
    Golfinggrannie

    So glad you’re feeling better.

    Like

  36. website called dietdoctor is great for LCHF delicious recipes. continue to feel better ❤

    Like

  37. I used to be anemic so bad I had to have iron infusions at the hospital with an IV for 8 hours. I also tested positive on the skin test for tuberculosis. I had to have chest X Rays. Medical problems are so much fun. Rolls eyes. Hope your health continues to improve. Congrats on all your progress!

    Like

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  38. My daughter loves her leopard print leotard and it never occured to me how close those words are before.

    Like

  39. I love you, Jenny! I went through a similar thing when I broke my back in my driveway last December. They were very concerned in the ER because it’s usually 80 yr old ladies who break their backs the way I did. And instead of “You’re ahead of the curve YET AGAIN GWEN! You’re so cool,” they were like take all these tests and your bones kinda suck and we don’t know why and have a colonoscopy and a surgery I call my “de-tightassification” which was really surprising to need since I don’t consider myself a tightass at all. But life is full of surprises. So thank you, Jenny, for creating a place for us weirdos to feel understood.

    Liked by 1 person

  40. I actually just read an article recently and learned that “leotards” were named after a guy whose last name was Leotard. Guess that explains it!

    Like

  41. I’m glad you’re feeling better! My mom has herself gone through years of “wtf is wrong, we have no idea, but the minute we figure it out we will be writing a prize-winning paper about you, so thanks for that!” She has been simultaneously anemic and with hemochromatosis (which is an excessive build-up of iron in the blood), so yeah. The treatment for hemochromatosis is literally bloodletting – every once in a while she goes in and they take a pint. It’s positively Medieval. I’ll let her know about the blood worms – that would sure save her a lot of time.

    Like

  42. Good news about the Snow Leopards, but they are still listed as “Vulnerable”, loss of habitat, retaliation for livestock killing and poaching are still huge threats to them in the largely unstable countries where they live So. Everybody please give generously to The Snow Leopard Trust, you can help save this glorious creature and get a tax writeoff. They’re as wonderful as Jenny’s brain, just more spotted (probably).

    Like

  43. This makes me feel better about being on chemo.

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Is that pic of Jesus for sale in your store? Because I feel like that’s the look He would give me all the time and so I kinda need it.

    Like

  45. I’m happy for your weight loss. I’ve learned you can’t count on businesses to let you use the restroom even if you are in ACTIVE LABOR and end up having to pee on the side of the road on the 2 hour drive to the hospital. And by side of the road, I might mean next to their parking lot.

    Snow Leopards are still kind of screwed, so I’d limit the protein choices to the domestic worms.

    Blood worms ARE a thing, but they’re not a thing people get. They’re fly larvae. If that makes you feel better.

    Like

    becomingcliche recently posted Notes From the Zookeeper: Help!.

  46. So-you’re not in great shape, but you’re not extinct. Glad to hear things are looking up! Also, clearly you should be a snow leopard for Halloween this year. A sober snow leopard.

    Like

    Bookreasons recently posted The Reason We’ve Already Met.

  47. I gave blood this morning to the lab vampires — would that be labpires? vabs? lampires? — this morning. I also got a flu shot, so at least there was a door prize this time. Usually, I just give, give, give. Just got two more meds added to the list and a once-a-week one changed to an every-freakin’-day one. I need another shoebox!

    Like

  48. I have a serious question that is weird. Ok, here goes….a doctor for my kid who has an autoimmune disease suggested I look into a 2nd opinion for a possible connection between that and her mental issues which include problems with impulse control and what they often define as bipolar. I have no idea why, but you talking about your recent struggles reminded me of it and made me wonder if it is possible because I know of more than one person it fits. Anyway, enough weirdo rant. Hope you start getting better like…all the way.

    Like

    jenndesi recently posted Unsettling, but normal.

  49. Lmao. I added a recurring reminder on my calendar to get blood work due to taking methotrexate. So every 8 weeks I’m reminded of my “meth labs”

    Like

  50. That last postscript is going to haunt me for all eternity now.

    Like

    Awkwardly Alive recently posted I’m probably going to go to jail soon..

  51. Oh dear sweet lady! You have the profound ability to, when I am focused squarely
    on my own troubles and feeling quite sorry for myself
    to give me a real reason to smile. thank you so very much!

    Like

  52. I hope you don’t have blood worms! That would be horrifying and gross and bugs freak me out and now I’m never going to be able to sleep again so THANKS FOR THAT.

    Also, I’ve always pronounced leopards “lee-oh-pards” in my head. Every time I write it. Lee-oh-pards. One of those things I used to use when I was a kid learning to spell and it’s stuck.

    Like

    The Cupcake Witch recently posted College Witchery: Week Three!.

  53. The leopards/leotards bit is the question of the century

    Like

  54. I pronounce “leopards” and “leotards” pretty much the same way. This might explain the looks I get at the pet store. Or not.

    Love your work! Hope your blood worms are good!

    Like

  55. Your seriously the best medicine for all of us running alongside you in the race of “health curiosities.” Today’s post is a prescription reminder: Must reread Furiously Happy.
    And cheers to incremental improvements! My constant bloodwork checks for anemia (and friends) is finally…incrementally…improving, too. Gold stars to us!

    Like

    Angela recently posted The Challenge of Healing: Getting through Withered Moments.

  56. I’m sure you are already taking every supplement known on the planet but in case not, you should be taking milk thistle. It’s like a Defender of the Liver. It really helped my dog who was on these nasty pain pills that blew her liver enzymes through the roof, and I take it because I have a strong affinity to wine. Might kill blood worms too, who knows? 🙂

    Like

  57. First off Jenny I told you six months ago you were a vampire. See if you had just listened to me then this whole mess could have been solved 6 months ago. Also can we name the blood worms?

    Liked by 2 people

  58. 58
    Susan Averill

    I’m thinking snow leopards are still endangered since more people have been in space than have seen a snow leopard in the wild. Or maybe space is more crowded than is was in the past?

    Like

  59. 59
    Tulsa's Pill Collector

    I totally get the “you’re fucked up, but you’ll live..for now..if you take 24 pills per day to control my extreme Crohn’s Disease to which I have lost all but 10 of the average 36 feet of intestine (when you get to 8 feet you go on a feeding tube and die shortly thereafter and I’ve never had a surgery take less than 3 feet, so yeah I’m fucked and there’s not much to say except “take this form downstairs to the local Vampire Cult and they will taken(literally) 8 viles of blood. And you can add a respiratory illness called Aspergillosis to that to which I’ve lost a third of my right lung simply from BREATHING the moist soul spores thstbrveryone breathes everyday but I can’t process. So even the air and soil want to kill me. What to do? “Wow that’s a problem, try not to breathe too deeply when in “soil rich areas”” WTF?? Then we’ll add hypothyroid which is actually a blessing given the remarkable lack of intestines – this allows me to keep some weight on whereas normally I wouldn’t. It’s very detailed to explain so I’ll leave it alone. But I have to take meds for that. Then I have severe migraines which I just discovered I am being treated with blood pressure medication and anti depressants. WTF? So I sit facing my psychologist who has diagnosed me with major depressive disorder and anxiety. She says at every visit “so what do you think is causing this and I look at her and say “well my body is trying to commit suicide, I can’t breathe air, I take 24 pills per day, and each of my dr’s tell me I’m fucked and they really can’t DO anything about it.” So she gives me prescriptions and tells me to just “do my best.” And this is where our great medical minds meet. Jenny, I SOOO get you! You are my kindred! So here’s to many pills and staying fuckingly alivr.

    Like

  60. I can’t even read your goddamn post because our organization’s new internet filter has it labeled as pornography.

    PORNOGRAPHY!!

    Garbage. I’ll have to read it from home, where no one pays me to read blog posts…

    Like

  61. 61
    Tulsa's Pill Collector

    And I am reminded NEVER TYPE ANGRY cuz that post is filled with grammatical errors which normally I would never stand for from anyone else especially myself and it’s gonna make Jenny CAZY(re). Sorry everyone – hope you can still read it.

    Liked by 1 person

  62. Yay! You’re not dying. Me neither. I’m going to call that a good day because I forgot to take my heap of pills last night and didn’t sleep and didn’t realize the reason until I got up this morning and found my “Take with food” snack still sitting beside my computer. I have no memory of NOT taking my pills. Thankfully I won’t die without them, I’ll just be unable to move without crying today. Seriously. Crying.

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    Mrs. Completely recently posted Izzie – Grow Some Balls, Already!.

  63. Mmm…If you had bloodworms you could cook them as an easy way to make blood sausage. Even though I live in Australia, I like a bit of blood sausage with a big cooked breakfast.

    Like

    Gary Lum recently posted A Kransky for your thoughts.

  64. Jenny,

    Did you ever see “Kung Fu Panda”? Tai-Lung was a snow leopard. I don’t know if he ate snow peas. The movie just showed him tantruming all over the place, not so much eating.

    Per Dave Barry (who you should totally check out if you haven’t, because he is HILARIOUS), “Jenny And The Blood Worms” would be a great name for a band.

    Like

  65. Leotard, leopard, …..foxen.

    Liked by 1 person

  66. I don’t know about blood worms, but there are brain worms. Check out Taenia solium. At least they can localize in the brain. Sometimes. At night.

    Like

  67. I wish I could blame autocorrect and its lack of medical knowledge for the number of times I typed “beast cancer” instead of “breast cancer” when I was going through it.

    I consoled myself with the supposition that there probably isn’t that big a difference anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    OwnLessDoMore.us recently posted 3 True Trail Tales from Our Trip to Trail Town USA.

  68. So, LAST week I was told that high stress will cause psoriasis flares. Which send your blood sugar out of whack. Which contributes to psoriasis flares. Or as I told my eye doctor “so I’m basically in a hell circle I can’t get out of!”

    Was at the eye doctor because my eye (that I went THIRTEEN MONTHS doing an eye injection every five weeks then finally did a laser treatment on, decided to do a “what the hell just happened” Monday night. Woke up with blurred vision and lotsa of bloody annoying floaters. The vitreous (which is the gel stuff in the interior of the eye) separated from the retina at the back of the eye. That caused bleeding, which seems to have stopped. Giving it two weeks to see if things get better and going from there.

    In more disturbing news, my doctor brightly announced (when my hubby announced “so I should drive her everywhere”) “oh no, she’d still be able to pass the eye test down at the DMV!” Yeah, that’s worrying. Welcome to my oddball life, LOL!

    Like

  69. I’m so glad you’re feeling better!!

    Like

  70. Hurray for feeling better!

    Like

  71. Oh I’m glad you’re feeling better!

    And I’m probably going to be saying leopards like leotards now because that’s what I’ll be thinking. Thank God there’s not a lot of call for leopard-talk around here (we clearly don’t eat a lot of leopards, either).

    Like

    Midlifer recently posted You knew it couldn’t last forever … or maybe you didn’t think about it much.

  72. Omg, I freeking LOVE YOU. Always have – but this blog has me in stitches.
    You are an amazing woman! Stay strong 🙂

    Like

  73. Blood worms are what we feed our axolotls, who are endangered in the wild. Full circle! The good news is that they are called that because they eat blood, not live in it. Ok, sort of good news. Maybe. Would explain the anemia…

    Liked by 1 person

  74. 75
    furiouslyhappyeveryday

    Girlfriend, you need to contact Anthony Williams, the Medical Medium from Hay House! He won’t see us little people anymore but I’m pretty sure you have achieved celebrity status (in our eyes anyway) so you may get a golden ticket to see him (or check out his books). I feel a little guilty being healthy and furiously happy when you are not…. especially since you are the one who taught me to be sooooo happy…..so happy I pee my pants every time I read your posts!

    Like

  75. Im glad you’re feeling better!

    Like

    Tanya Goffy recently posted Chocolate Mysteries.

  76. I am very happy for your good news! Except for the no drinking. And the blood worms. Damn. Those sound scary. Maybe there’s a pill you can take. Like heart worm…but for people. Stay strong Jenny!

    Like

  77. I’m sorry you are still having trouble. I hope they figure it all out. I feel you about your liver. I Just found out I have an enlarged liver, and high liver enzymes, plus a lot of pain, so I’m going through the I’m going to die thing too.

    Like

  78. For the person who said their “head was swimming” (not off by itself…) – if all the brain tests are good and I believe you said they were, look into vestibular disorders. For that you’ll need a neuro-otologist. In 2000 my head starting swimming or having what I also called “it’s like waves just keep moving from ear to ear, like one of those horizontal wave do-dads that people put on their desks”. Turns out I had SCDS or superior canal dehiscence syndrome (rather rare & unusual) and later, after 2 surgeries to fix it on the left (which definitely helped), also MAV or migraine associated vertigo. Both are really weird and have a multitude of odd-ball symptoms. I thought I was going nuts with the brain swimming and hearing my eyeballs move and seeing my vision pulse with my heartbeat (that will keep you from working out!) and bobble-head and on and on… Anyway, the minute I read “brain swimming” I thought “vestibular disorder”. Wanted to speak up just in case it helps.

    Whatever the cause, I am wishing you only the best outcome.

    You too Jenny!

    Like

  79. Can you have sugar alcohols on your current diet? I like HaloTop ice cream when I’m watching my carb count. It’s pretty close to the real thing, flavor and texture wise.

    I’m glad you are better-ish!

    Like

  80. T
    Please, please please tell me that “Leopards in Leotards” is the name.of.your next book.

    Like

  81. If you get blood worms you could go fishing

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Like

  82. Africans actually do pronounce Leopard like Leotard. And they pronounce jaguar like jag-U-are. So maybe we’re the ones doing it wrong.
    An English major just sayin’

    Like

  83. My girls and I pronounce it Lee-o-pard. And that’s the name of that plush animal as well. When they first started taking ballet was when we first wondered why they are pronounced differently

    Like

  84. Not out loud, but when I read “leopards” I say it my head the same way I say “leotards”. But I also say ASS-par-RAG-is, so…

    Like

  85. The comforting thought is that snow leopards probably don’t taste very well because cats are carnivores, so people aren’t lining up to eat them. On the other hand, I now find myself wondering what “snow leotards” might look like.

    Like

  86. Leonard was sitting in his leopard-print leotard watching the fishes swim in the river below. He couldn’t take the strain of coming up with another line so he jumped in and Leodrowned.

    Like

  87. I heard a guy talk once who was a specialist on snow leopards and he had been working in the Himalayas up through Mongolia for more than 20 years. I asked him how many he had seen in the wild, and he said 4. So if you’re ordering snow leopards, they’re probably farm raised and not as good. Still – don’t eat them.

    Like

  88. “Have you read The Plague and I by Betty MacDonald?”

    Betty MacDonald also wrote a book titled “The Egg and I” which was about her husband’s attempt to run a chicken farm and sell eggs. It was made into a movie starring Fred MacMurray and Claudette Colbert, which was notable mostly for introducing the character Ma and Pa Kettle (ask your parents or grandparents).

    Like

  89. Jenny,

    I am happy that you are feeling better, even if you are not 100% yet. That’s good news for all of us.

    Like

  90. You snow leopard fans need to see the movie “The Secret Life of Walter Mitty” which is gorgeous and has a brilliant cast. Pretend I didn’t mention the S.L.

    Jenny, congratulations on your success!

    Like

  91. Huh. I’ve never actually thought about leopard vs leotard, but now I can’t stop thinking about it. It’s so wonderful to hear that you are doing better!

    Like

  92. Jenny, you can use all those pills as an excuse to buy a new handbag to hold them all. I did. In fact, I may need another new handbag very soon. I only have 8 medications i take regularly, and three more for sudden conditions, like migraines. Turns out I have four autoimmune disorders: one annoying, two that make my life a constant reading of food labels and avoidance of certain activities, and one, which they’ve told me I’ve probably suffered with for 30 years, is now at the phase of trying to kill me.

    But finding out that I have these disorders has been a victory over all the fucking doctors who patted my hand and told me to get more exercise or rest more or see a therapist or get treated by a psychiatrist. It also means I’m going to have a future, which I thought was never going to happen

    Cool story: my great uncle met his second wife in a tuberculosis sanitarium, where they had both had to have major portions of their lungs cut away, because it was the old days, and antibiotics weren’t as good, or maybe it was still just sulfa drugs. But they still lived for another 40 years.

    Take your meds. Hang in there. Thank you for being you and sharing and honest!

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  93. Lost my good, well-composed post while looking up the correct spelling for orifices, but must comment anyway. To comment leaver#45, would that make blood worms essentially MAGGOTS??? Feasting on Jenny’s oxygen-rich blood supply and growing to maturity? Then becoming adult blowflies (not Blowfish, who were with Hootie in the 90s) and escaping from one of the body’s orifices when ready to emerge into the world?? I’m disturbed now and I have to try to go back to sleep. Ha.
    Jenny, as always, your life puts things into perspective. Glad you’re not dying, because I have to see you again to get another knife autographed by you with “Feeling Stabby” on it. I love reading and sharing in your life, I’m grateful you have Victor and Haily to keep you grounded, and I’m here to say that if I can quit drinking all adult beverages, you can, too.
    Live long and enjoy life all you can. The posts are excellent, but the comments are always a great source of amusement and information for me! ❤️❤️❤️❤️😜🎈✨🤡😳

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  94. Did they say you had/have fatty liver?

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  95. Thank you. You’ve made me feel better about the wagon load of physical mysteries that I currently have.

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    Jenny Bristol recently posted My First Attempt at Hand Lettering.

  96. And now I also have blood worms because you mentioned it. I also have pretty moderate O.C.D. Shrugs. Glad you are doing better though, all in all it seems like good news. I’m curious if you or any of the bloggess tribe have tried collegen? I just got some but I am kind of afraid of it. They say it’s supposed to work miracles. It tastes like cow ass…

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    Shari recently posted New Article on Tuning Forks and Sound Healing.

  97. OMG this has been my life the past year.
    ‘So, you’re kinda broken, but it doesn’t explain ALL THIS OTHER WEIRD SHIT. Here’s some ice cream…..erm….. drugs. And surgery that will probably make your brain leak out. ”
    I’m starting to think it’s just ‘the cool thing’ for Texas doctors to do.

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  98. Can u describe or give a link to the diet u are on? It sounds like a winner. I’ve tried so many things with no luck! :::Huggs:::

    (Half a cup of frozen strawberries in the morning. No other fruit. Under 50 g of carbs or sugar a day. Lots of eggs, cheese, meat, caesar salads, broccoli, green beans. Nothing breaded. Lots of omelettes and salads basically. ~ Jenny)

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  99. Snow leopards are cool. They have these huge paws that are basically cat snowshoes. And their tail is really long and thick(they use it as a blanket) Who wouldn’t want their own carry-able blanket? Plus they’re cute. 😀

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  100. 101
    The Other Jenny

    FWIW- I’ve been doing a keto diet since mid–April and it’s really helped me with a lot of my autoimmune stuff. Like in ways that shocked me. And I’ve lost about 25 pounds eating cheese and eggs and bacon so while I don’t get it- I’ll go with it. I hope this is an answer for you as well! And if you need a kick ass low carb chocolate cake recipe LMK!

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  101. Regarding leopards vs. leotards — the word “homeowner” has the word “meow” in the middle of it.
    You’ll never be able to pronounce it correctly again. Maybe ask Hunter S. for help?

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  102. Yay! We’re all going to get Blood Worms (I noticed most people capitalized it here, so I am assuming this is the proper thing to do) just to be supportive! We heart you, Jenny!

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  103. Blood worms are still better than the shit weasels from Dreamcatcher. Just sayin’. Sounds like we’re on the same diet – ketogenic sorta? And by sorta, I mean except on days where I get a pint of ice cream and a bag of Have’A Chips. Glad it’s working for you! (And not to be that Person Who Has a Medical Suggestion, but Hey did you check for Lyme? Lots of the same awful symptoms, it’s really tough to get diagnosed because the fuckers are really good at hiding in blood tests, and long-term antibiotics is the only way to kill ’em, too.)

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  104. I read that line about “What’s with all the anemias” as “What’s with all the enemas?”

    In my defense, it’s really early, and I did not sleep well. But, oh, the images in my head.

    Continue with the getting well! (We’ll eat the sugar for you, don’t worry.)

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  105. I’m a few days behind in reading this, but I am thrilled to know that scary things have been ruled out and that you’ve improved so much in the past six months. This makes me happy.

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