Fucking stop it

Dear charitable organizations who inexplicably keep sending me money:  FUCKING STOP IT.

Is it just me?  I get all these letters asking for money but there are pennies and nickels glued to the requests and I guess that it’s supposed to prove that it only takes 9 cents a day to not kill cats or something, but I’m not going to give you money because CLEARLY YOU SUCK AT HANDLING IT.  You need money and you’re sending it to me.  WTF.  I don’t want money from orphans or dogs on death row.  I’ve gotten probably six dollars in guilt change this year and it only serves to remind me not to donate to you anymore because 1) this feels super manipulative and 2) is the money I gave you last year being used to send guilt change to everyone else?  Am I part of the problem?  Because that money has to come from somewhere.

Also you all stick the coins on the letter with this grey goop that I have to scrape off and I want to just throw it away but I can’t because my grandmother said throwing change away is bad luck so I have to open the envelope and wash the gunk off your guilt change, and then there are pictures of orphans and disappointed Jesuses glaring at me while I do it, like, “So you’re going to just take the money from orphans?  Really?”  And yeah, I guess I am because you certainly can’t be trusted not to throw it into envelopes to give to people who clearly don’t need it.   Also, pennies are germy and gross me out.  They live in the bottom of purses until they gets stuck to lose hard candy and then they get covered with a layer of sticky lint scum and then eventually you get grossed out when the pennies get stuck to your keys and then you throw the whole purse away.  Pennies are garbage money and everyone knows it.

Also, while I’m being bitchy to people who are trying to help others can I just add that I don’t want anymore notepads reminding me how many people die of starvation each day, or cards with cats having some sort of lobotomy.  I don’t want that.  NO ONE WANTS THAT.  (Also, PETA, you’ve sent me the cat lobotomy cards twice in the same year and it’s starting to lose its shock value, although actually I can’t complain too much because I totally used one as a Christmas card to someone I don’t like.)

Conclusion: I am a terrible person and I’d like you to stop sending me money proving that.

Hugs,

Jenny

 

221 replies. read them below or add one

  1. I can’t agree with you enough! I always wonder what else they could gave done with that change and the money they spent on postage and printing.

    Liked by 4 people

    Cris recently posted These Realtor.com ads are everything that's wrong with America and the world.

  2. Cat lobotomy cards? We need a photo. I got a Happy Thanksgiving card from the food bank last week (give us all your monies!) but otherwise I only get stickers and address labels.

    Liked by 6 people

  3. It all goes in the kid’s piggy bank.

    I used to feel guilty until the husband said “Did you ask them to send you cash / labels / calendars / notepads?” With my response of “No” he simply said “They sent it on their own – don’t feel guilty.”

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I do enjoy the return address stickers thought. I think this makes me part of the problem.

    Liked by 4 people

  5. I also keep track of everyone who sends me useless crap while soliciting a donation, so as to make a mental note to never give them money. (I don’t get the ones with change glued on anymore, they must’ve given up?)

    Do you have any random chores that you pay neighborhood children to do? Any that you’re willing to pay neighborhood children to do? Double your price, but make them take the money off those stupid cards 😛

    Liked by 1 person

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  6. You actually made a very valid argument about the possibility that your money is just being turned around to create more guilt mail. I’ve had small charities address the same concernThat big foundations can use your donations to something as petty as potted plants for their conference rooms. I want every cent I donate to go towards food and medicine. Use your own damn wages to pay for potted plants

    Liked by 4 people

  7. They always provide envelopes for you to send in donations, usually postage prepaid. You could leave the coins stuck to paper and mail that back to them, with a note that says, “Thank you for sending me these coins, because otherwise I wouldn’t have any money to donate. Hope this $.06 helps!” 😀

    (I actually did consider that but I was afraid the coins would weigh more than the postage on the envelope and then they’d have to pay the difference and I’d actually end up making them pay more money to get back the money I didn’t want in the first place. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Wow, American charities do some crazy stuff to raise money.

    I learn so much here.

    Hey, maybe you can make the site an educational charity, teaching the world about American culture, then you’d have an excuse to send all those pennies to other people. Do it to save the purses.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. I HATE getting those requests with change glued to them! And the sad notepads. And can’t they vet their mailing addresses? I get duplicates appeals from charities. Probably my fault for sometimes paying with my legal name and sometimes with my day-to-day name, but STILL. If they looked at mailing addresses, they would save a ton of money. I do like the return labels. I use those. And donate.

    Liked by 1 person

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  10. I found one of those down in a drawer. Guess I forgot I even it. I got the coin off the card, scrapped off the sticky goop and dropped said coin into my grandson’s piggy bank. Guilt has now been avoided.

    Like

  11. I like to make donations in place of gifts for family who are impossible to buy for, and a month or so after my parents’ anniversary donation gift, I started getting mailings from the charity. Then they called (do I have to say how much I HATE the phone?), and the guy asking for donations actually said, “if you pledge a monthly donation, that would save us the money on sending mailers every month.”

    How about I decide when and how much to give, and you stop with the mailers altogether? I obviously know your charity exists and have chosen to support it in the past, which means I may again. Except not now, because I don’t want to support extortion tactics.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I’ve received not only money but socks and a nail grooming kit. Huh?? JFC, you mean the $10 I gave the Humane Society is buying random socks to send to strangers? I can hand out crappy socks out on the street by myself, thankyouverymuch… why should I pay you to do it?

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  13. I wholeheartedly agree!!! I cant tell you how many times I take the money out and don’t even look at the information inside. I have been sent quarters as well as nickles and dimes. And while I appreciate the donation to my vacation fund, I am sure the organizations that are sending them out need the money more than I do. I will never send them money just so they can send it out to people for their vacation funds as well. I have stacks of notepads and calendars from these people as well. And who the hell needs return address labels anymore? My grandmother does but she wouldn’t send money either because she mistrusts everyone. Think of all the trees you could save along with the orphans, animals on death row and hungry people if you stop sending so much paper asking for donations. Jenny, if you are a horrible person, I too am horrible when it comes to this. ( I am also horrible for a multitude of other reasons but I don’t dare go into all of that here). Maybe I will start a petition on the petition site to stop the madness of sending money to ask for money. Thank you for bringing this up and for making me feel a little less horrible!!!

    Liked by 2 people

  14. I hate the guilt trips! That is such a shitty and manipulative way to ask for help, and I react like you do to shitty and manipulative. Stay strong and resist the guilt of the garbage money!

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  15. I think that pennies should be discontinued. I think that I will run for president in 2020 with that platform : A chicken in every pot and no more pennies at the bottom of your purse
    https://damngirlgetyourshittogether.com/

    Like

  16. I never get guilt money…. Just stickers or address labels with names spelled wrong or old addresses.

    Like

  17. My (way back, before kids) professional background is in fundraising —
    specifically membership prigrams, small gift cultivation for annual funds and capital campaigns, and governance. I officially absolve you of any and all guilt about these utterly toxic and irresponsibly conceived mail pieces. You are rightly and righteously offended by institutional shittiness.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. Once upon a time, I gave a $20 donation to a very large, national charity – who had a mission I believed in. Over the next 20 years, I’ve gotten correspondence from them soliciting a donation. Big envelopes, small envelopes, post-cards, envelopes full of post cards…

    Since then, I donate to smaller, somewhat local charities. I check the websites (like Guidestar), to check on how that money is spent.

    I fully agree with the change and address labels, etc. Showing me you have so much money you can just give it away is doing nothing to prove to me that you actually need a donation.

    There’s an endless supply of organizations that struggle for funds to operate. There’s also a place for these huge non-profit conglomerates, but for me, I prefer to choose someone smaller.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. And while we’re at it, fundraising drives that give a gift with your donation (I’m looking at you NPR). I am sure the “swag” is donated, but part of my donation is going into the postage required to send me that mug.

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  20. Is it wrong that I wish they would send me cat lobotomy cards? Also, for just 9 cents a day I promise to never to kill a cat.

    Liked by 1 person

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  21. I wish we were friends.

    Like

  22. I used to get these, somehow they just stopped. I think I crossed out my name/address and put “Delivery Refused”, and they left me alone.
    But if you do this, drop it into a post office across town. Some times the mail person gets tired of taking your refused mail and writes “You can not refuse delivery of this item.” On the envelope. Then sticks it back in your mail box.
    Pretty dickish move, if you ask me.

    Elizabeth

    (This is actually a great idea. Doing this starting now. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 3 people

  23. I like to make up terrible fake names and then see how many charities send me notepads or address labels using that name. I then use them with glee for the rest of the year.

    Liked by 2 people

  24. I don’t get cat lobotomy notecards, but I could sure use some return address stickers.

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  25. Not just you, Jenny. I get these things all the time, and the charities who do the glued-on-nickel and address-label shtick usually have a terrible rating, as they eat up so much of their donated revenues on “fundraising” and “administrative” costs (which include mailing you all that shit you never asked them for) leaving not so much to pass along to the cause for which they’re supposedly collecting.

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  26. While I have never received change in the mail, I never could understand the charities..send us money and we will send you a calendar, a tshirt, ect. How much are you spending of the donations you receive to send crap ? Use that donation for what it is attended for. Feed the children…Feed the animals and save the rainforest ! Don’t waste it. We can pat ourselves on the back. We don’t need the shirt, the calendar, the cards or the labels to show off. Just the good feelings of helping others should be enough.

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  27. Those cards, pennies, calenders and sob stories make me mental. I don’t need your tote bag or pencil or blanket. Fucken use the money you waste on that shit and help your own charity so I don’t get stuck paying for it with work enforced charity giving. I’m one of the few people who actually take that crap and donate it to salvation army. But my head practically pops off every time that stuff is in my mailbox and I yell out stop wasting money assholes! My neighbors hate my tourettes mailbox cursing episodes

    Liked by 1 person

  28. If I had saved all the (usually misspelled) return address labels I’ve been sent over the years I could wallpaper my house.

    Like

  29. I must have been dropped from those lists long ago. I can count on my local realtors for notepads for grocery lists and I have enough address labels to last me well into the zombie apocalypse.

    I give locally to organizations and causes I’m personally involved with. BTW, there is no umbrella organization for SPCAs or humane societies — each one is independent, so please give to your local one!

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  30. I can’t tell you how many envelopes we found in my mother’s room after my father passed away (a few years after my mom passed). He apparently never cleared her room out. With each envelope I found that contained coins, I became more and more angry, knowing that my mom was spending her last few years donating their retirement money. I learned from it, though. Since we’ve lived where we live now, I’ve gotten exactly ONE envelope in the mail. It went directly in the trash. Haven’t gotten one since.

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  31. 31
    Emily Cassidy

    Wow, I don’t think i’ve gotten one of the guilt change cards since the 90’s! My mom always told me the nickle and pennies were to buy a stamp to send them money back, like they were paying for your shipping. I have no idea if that is actually true though.

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  32. Canada stopped making pennies 5 years ago. Yet another reason to show we’re an awesome place to live.

    Liked by 3 people

  33. 33
    CreatingTheRoad

    I use the notepads and small calendars, and then use the money I would have spent on those to donate locally. I don’t have much money to donate, so I prefer it goes to my community where I know it helps. Goo-gone is great for ungucking the pennies!

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  34. As a nonprofit employee that works directly in fundraising, sending away the money seems awfully counterproductive. These companies should hire me to teach them that they are wrong. And then pay me all those pennies they’re sending me away.
    …wait. Does that make me a bad person? Whoops.

    Liked by 1 person

    michelle.miller recently posted It’s a Blanket But I Won’t Tell You What Kind.

  35. Tell PETA to fuck off. They run a ‘shelter’ here in Virginia that euthanizes more than 90% of the animals they take in, and it’s not because the animals are sicker or uglier or less adoptable. It’s just what they do. They would probably PERFORM cat lobotomies and use the pictures to raise money. They may do good stuff for wildlife or farm animals but they are shit when it comes to companion animals.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. Well said! I just reposted this on Facebook to say that you’ve articulated with brevity and humor exactly what I’ve been feeling for years.

    I’ve started putting the “gifts” back into their postage-paid response envelopes with a note that says “no thank you — here’s your ‘gift back” and “I will never give money to organizations that try to manipulate me into giving them money by wasting money on gimmicks like this. Spend donations on your programs, not fundraising.”

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  37. i try to stop all those damn mailings from coming in. every horizontal surface in my house is littered with crap. i don’t need any more crap coming in! then i feel like i have to tear off my address from the outside envelope & the inside donation slip & throw it away, b/c some sleezeball might go thru recycling & see it in there. i recycle the shit outta donation mailings. STOP THE MADNESS!!!! i give when i’m able & i won’t when i can’t. its determined by my bank account, not your stupid guilt crap!!!!!!

    wow. i feel an eensy bit better….

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  38. Come to Canada! Not only is it illegal to send cash in the mail, WE GOT RID OF THOSE FILTHY PENNIES!
    Let me tell you, any cashier will let you know that the penny slot in the register drawer is always the one you’ll find the pubic hair in. Good riddance to those dirty things, I don’t miss them at all.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. 39
    Tracey the Rat Lover

    I donated $25 once to a “charitable organization” once that thend pumped my info out to other “charitable organizations” and for about 2 years, I received well over $100 in random crap from them, hoping to intice me into send THEM money so THEY could pump my info out to continue the vicious and insane cycle. Notebooks, pens, stickers, address labels, gift tags, other labels, calendars, journals, magnets, magnets calendars, pocket calendars: (because clearly, I forget what month we are in and need one in every room and one on me at all times.),loose change, key chains, dream catchers (to combat the nightmares of being smothered in freebies), Christmas cards, blank cards, thank you cards (probably intended for me to send to all the crazy organizations for sending me crap), framable pictures and sayings… I’m sure there was more. It was insane. The amount if money spent on all that junk and the shipping on some of them could not possibly balance out with what they get. Its like one org gets money from someone and sends out an all points bulletin to all the other orgs… “WE’VE GOT A LIVE ONE! GET HER!!”

    Never got a lobotomize cat though. They must not have PETA on their list.

    Liked by 1 person

  40. I agree…. Charities, You CAN’T HANDLE the change – so I am keeping it.
    The “guilt freebies” from various other charities – I either use or toss depending on the item – but I don’t send money to propagate their insanity.
    To channel Susan Powter “Stop the Insanity!”

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  41. 41
    Tracey the Rat Lover

    Wow. Lot of typos. I apologize. I swear, my thumbs and phone are in cahoots. As that to my desperate need for a spell check that doesn’t “learn from you by accepting slang into its vocabulary c”… Ya. I am screwed.

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  42. I used to donate to three or four charities until certain circumstances left me with very little extra money. It took them about SIX YEARS to take me off their mailing lists. I do miss the free calendars though, lol

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  43. I work for a nonprofit that mails out vast quantities of these nickel mailers. Makes me laugh – and then fume – every time I get one (3-4x/yr). No raise in 3 years…but thanks for the $0.45 in the meantime!

    They say it’s by far the most successful means to raise funds. From morons, I guess.

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  44. Once a year, glue all those coins up and send them to an organization. Or, instead of removing the coins, save up the letters and tell the charities to send the coins to each other. Yuck. I have those things.

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  45. The ones that piss me off most are the ones that send me invoices as if I owe them the money and tell me my donation is required.
    The best comeback I know of: my late brother was paraplegic after an accidental shooting in the military. The Paralyzed Veterans of America – a very pushy group – called my parents’ house and my mother answered. When the caller said, “Hello, this is the Paralyzed Veterans of America,” Mom said, “Thank you, but we already have one,” and hung up. I donate to the DAV, who actually maintain offices that advocate for veterans and help disabled vets deal with the VA, but not the PVA.

    Liked by 3 people

  46. Also, it seems that the making of a penny costs more than the penny itself, so id does not make any sense to make the penny. Stop forging pennies.

    Like

  47. Please do not give money to PETA. If you want to help animals, give to your local shelter or rescue group.
    I also hate when I find money in a charity request. Keep your money and stop sending it to me!

    Liked by 2 people

  48. I have seriously have said the same thing multiple times. Pretty much any time I receive the money in the mail or a calculator/notepad combo or the newest one a shopping bag. The shopping bag even had a followup letter a week later about how much they are sure I am loving it. MORE MONEY WASTED ON POSTAGE …. I’m not sending you shit to waste on stuff like this!

    Like

  49. Yes! Same. I’m the kind of person who gets excited when I find a penny in the street. I feel like “I am one penny closer to affording groceries today!” So, yeah. Charities who send me pennies.. fucking stop it, please. It just makes me think you a/ don’t need the money and b/ obviously don’t value it or use it to do what you say you do. Also, there is one particular organisation that I donated $5 to (FIVE WHOLE DOLLARS) right after the election that has (thus far) sent me at least $30-$40 worth of international snail mail (updates on their progress and usually a request for more money.) I wish they would fucking stop it. (I even tried to contact them (via email.. since the original donation was online) to ask them to stop spending money on sending me updates in the actual (international) mail. They have not stopped. It is absurd. The stupidest thing is it SAYS on the envelope how much the postage cost was. So I know for a fact that after the second mailer they’d already spent more money on contacting me that way than I ever donated to them. sigh Love from, a person who has on many occasions paid for food with collected pennies.

    Liked by 1 person

  50. 50
    Harriette Rodriguez

    I “pity” the person who gets on your “bad” side!

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  51. Amen!

    Like

  52. Yes! It’s rediculous what some fundraising campaigns come up with to try to bring in money. The ones that seem the worst are the ones that try to guilt or shock you… that doesn’t make me want to send you money.

    Like

  53. This is a big pet peeve of mine. Sending me coins, note cards, address labels (usually with my name misspelled) and other crap is the best way to ensure that I will never donate to your cause. Such a waste of resources.

    Liked by 2 people

  54. I take the inside letters from one charity appeal and put them in the postage-paid return envelope from another charity (after removing identifying info). I get a perverse pleasure out of this. Strike that. Just a pure pleasure; nothing perverse about it.

    Liked by 2 people

  55. I was just looking at the letter that made me write this today and decided to look them up since I’ve never donated to them before. They included a book about homeless kids which was originally written by a priest that later stepped down when accused of financial mismanagement and of molestation by a number of homeless boys. Then a nun took over and now her name is listed as the author? Also, the letter asking for a donation is from her and ends with “PS. I’ve attached the dime and penny to the enclosed card…” but it seems unlikely that she attached anything since SHE DIED FIVE YEARS AGO. Confusion abounds.

    Liked by 4 people

  56. Oh, and showing me photos of people or animals being tortured or abused? NO. Just no. Subtly tell me about it, but give me an option of seeing it or not. And who wants to explain to a six-year-old why there’s a picture of an animal being tortured on that flyer that came through the mail slot?

    Liked by 1 person

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  57. Responding to Jenny’s last comment: Seriously? That is some sketchy marketing. I certainly wouldn’t send them my money.

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  58. I hate the fucking trend at Goodwill where they ask if you want to round up the cost of your purchase to the next dollar. It’s one thing if your cost is $57.97 to round up to $60, yeah, maybe, but to ask me to round up from $57.23? No fucking way. And they tell you it will go to helping disabled people get jobs, etc., but isn’t that what my actual fucking purchase is supposed to be paying for? As opposed to the multimillion-dollar salaries of Goodwill executives? I have an autistic son, so when they start that “Do you want to round up to help disabled people?” I tell them no, I have to keep the change to support my own disabled person, thank you.

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  59. If I had a nickel
    I got it from a charity
    That sent it in a letter
    That asked me to send money

    I thought that that was stupid
    Sending nickels wanting money
    But I kept their stupid nickel
    (and the cat with a lobotomy)

    Then I took the other good stuff
    Like the labels and the notecards
    The rest of it I sent back
    It was postage paid return

    I’m pretty sure that next year
    I’ll get another nickel
    What I really want to get though
    Is a cat with a lobotomy

    Liked by 1 person

  60. I get frustrated with the “membership” cards. I’ve been deciding who to give to monthly based on who Trump is abusing at the moment, which means I now get 4-6 charity mailings a day. First it’s the special membership cards and then the “your membership is expiring! Don’t you care anymore?” It’s exhausting.

    Liked by 2 people

  61. My sentiments EXACTLY. I never, ever send money to people who send me a coin glued inside a request for money. I mean, really, WTF?!?
    By the way…I know you probably don’t, but…please do not give money to PETA. they are extremists who don’t even think that people should keep pets, for crying out loud. AND it has been proven that they kill animals. They take them from people’s yards or shelters and kill them. Seriously.

    Liked by 1 person

  62. Quarters!? Some of you get quarters!? I never get more than a nickle. And who uses snail mail hardly at all anymore to need all those address labels? Totally agree it’s a huge waste. I do like the notepads for my shopping lists though. They come in handy.

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  63. “Grey goop.” In my house, that’s booger glue.

    Liked by 1 person

  64. I have seen the ‘we-sent-you-9-cents-so-you-will-send-us-$25’ solicitations, but not for years. We also discontinued the penny here in Canada. Our landfills have also seen a marked drop in sticky purses. 😉
    When I get unwanted pleas for my money from the big charities, I wait for two to come in… then send them to each other in the SASE they include with a note that says “how do you like unsolicited solicitations?”, and wash my hands of the whole mess.

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  65. PS – I DO use the address labels which come from March of Dimes, that I gave to once. I love snail mail.

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  66. I like to throw the whole solicitation, filthy lucre and all, in the trash. I also like to imagine the joy of the post-apocalyptic 28th century archeologist and his/her field tripping charges in discovering the DNA encrusted coinage. My contribution to the education of our heirs. You’re welcome.

    Liked by 1 person

  67. I agree completely! I have asked so many charitable organizations to take me off the mailing list. I don’t want nickels, pennies, calendars or address labels. I want my money to actually support the cause when I give it. If I make a donation it will be online, when I have money, and when I want to do it. Not because you sent me something trying to manipulate me into giving.

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  68. I hearya!! What about the Shriner’s kids hospital who advertise on TV saying if you donate, they’ll send you a beautiful blanket, pamphlet, etc.? Keep the blanket and the rest of it and use the extra funds to help the kids why dontcha?

    Like

  69. So much truth here. So much.

    Liked by 1 person

  70. I agree! My parents were Italian and Catholic, it’s gonna take more than some sorry ass penny to guilt me!

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  71. Take all the guilt change, put it in a jar. Take it into your local grocer, sandwich shack, or ice cream parlor, 90% of the time when I go in there they have a jar on the counter that says “the little league needs uniforms!” “school supplies for the needy!” “food bank!” then you have parted with your guilt change without sending it to people who clearly should not be responsible for more than a fiver. My favorites are the little stickers for a sandwich or a slice of pizza that you pay for with your guilt change and then stick to the wall by the register so that someone down on their luck can come in and claim for a free meal.

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  72. One of the local missions sends out a flattened grocery sack with their donation plea printed on it. I use it for recycling. In it goes the unopened PETA letter bombs.

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  73. I work in nonprofit fundraising, so your post and all these comments are super fascinating to read. Why is this sort of thing done? Because it works. Certain demographics of people tend to respond to it.

    In general, donor acquisition always costs more money than it brings in the first time around, but the hope is that you’ll end up with a bunch of new donors committed enough to continue to give, so after a year or two you start to actually see a net positive. As all charities lose donors over time, it’s in general a pretty good strategy to invest in acquiring new ones.

    Now – are there tacky and wasteful ways to do this? Yes. With direct mail freebies, the idea of course is that a small gift will get you to reciprocate and make a donation. But at the end of the day, do you really want to send a message that you’re wasting other people’s donations on cheap crap? Nope. I’d rather share happy stories about the cats we helped rescue and get folks excited about that, than sending unsolicited holiday cards of suffering animals or what have you. Ugh.

    A friendly reminder at the end: most nonprofit folks work really hard to raise money to help make the world a better place. We’re paid very little and care very, very much. Sorry if we’re annoying sometimes. We try to do better.

    Liked by 2 people

  74. It’s only a matter of time before they start sending a personalized card that plays Sarah McLachlan’s Angel when you open it. Change and puppy tears will fall out like glitter. It won’t be recyclable.

    Liked by 1 person

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  75. Wow, I’m surprised people still send coins in the mail. And why coins, if they want to send you money, make it notes, but high denomination ones. Better yet bank transfer the moolah into your account.

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  76. You’re not a terrible person. You’re being emotionally abused by these charities. Send them back a picture of yourself plagued with guilt and ask them to donate to your therapy.

    Liked by 2 people

  77. “Also, PETA, you’ve sent me the cat lobotomy cards twice in the same year and it’s starting to lose its shock value, although actually I can’t complain too much because I totally used one as a Christmas card to someone I don’t like.” OMG! I am CRYING!

    Like

  78. Wait..how do I get on these lists, Jenny? Because I want some sweet, sweet guilt change. I need it to fund my Cherry Vanilla Dr.Pepper Big Gulp addiction. 😂😂😂

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  79. 79
    Lesley Zimmermann

    I have enough address labels to last a thousand years; I’d feel guilty if I decided to move.

    My special favorite labels are the ones that are WRONG. It’s LESLEY, not Leslie. And Zimmermann, not Zimmerman. I didn’t want the labels in the first place but if you’re going to send them by the thousands , the least you can do is spell my names right.

    And don’t send me Christmas cards because: 1) I don’t celebrate Christmas and 2) if I did, I wouldn’t send cards with baby seals, flayed dogs or abused kittens on the back. Not even to people I hate.

    Like

  80. 80
    Doug in Oakland

    if they are including the change as an example of how much money it takes to (insert charitable goal here), couldn’t you just send it back to them with a nice note saying “Great idea” or something?

    Liked by 1 person

  81. Yes! I’ve got enough address labels to last 15 lifetimes!

    Liked by 1 person

  82. I got one 2 weeks ago. Nickel, address labels, stickers to seal envelopes, the works. And this was a Canadian registered charity, from and to a Canadian address, so contrary to some comments we ARE just as dumb up here in the Morth. Nickel for my kid’s piggy bank, I shredded the address labels because they don’t have my preferred name, and the rest is garbage. Also, this organization gets zero dollars from me anymore.

    Have you ever contacted the charity to get off their mailing list? Don’t bother. I tried with this one, but their fundraising is contracted out and they seem to have no control over the list (eyeroll).

    Like

  83. I’ve gotten the cat lobotomy pictures from PETA (were they cards? I can’t remember because I threw them away instantly), which seems odd that PETA would solicit from me, because I hate them with a fiery passion. As far as organizations that supposedly help animals go, PETA is the worst of the worst. Any “animal rights” group that perpetuates the myth that pitbulls are inherently violent and bad can go right to Hell. Also, they euthanize healthy animals. Fuck that. Fuck PETA.

    Liked by 3 people

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  84. I agree, maybe if they would stop sending out all that change they wouldn’t need more money…

    Like

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  85. The coins are to wreck your shredder and force you to open the envelopes before doing so.

    Like

  86. Wow! No to cheesy emotional manipulation in charities. I buy Christmas presents through Heiffer International because I love the idea of sending animals to families that need them, and I keep accounts funded through Kiva, a group that makes loans to groups for their small businesses or farms. Other than that, staying local – food pantries, missions, animal shelters helps you see where the money goes. You are not a horrible person for saying no commercialized mind f##cking by charities.

    Like

  87. 87
    mckennadeanromance

    THIS! OMG, this!! And you know what? I keep their frickin’ dime and refuse to send them money, hoping it will teach them what a waste of money their manipulative begging letters are. It doesn’t seem to be working though. 😦

    Like

  88. Two years ago my cat at an expensive procedure done at Iowa State University vet hospital and a few months afterwards, the school began sending and calling constantly for donations. I’m like, I did donate. I just have you $3000 to fix my cat. I’m all tapped out. Would you like my cat as a donation? He’s worth a lot of money. It took an entire year before they finally realized I was not a wealthy donor, just a crazy cat lady, and stopped soliciting me. My cat was just there again for another expensive procedure (I know you’re dying to know. Yes it was the same cat.) about a month ago so I’m just waiting patiently for the calls and letters to start again. At this point, I wish someone would send me guilty charity money. I’d totally be fine with it.

    Liked by 1 person

  89. This is how I feel when I’m watching million dollar listings and the agent pays $20,000 to throw a party so people come and view the apartment. That’s part of your commission you dumbass! While I can understand wanting to get people to come, no one looking at an apartment gives a shit about a $10,000 DJ. That’s just stupid.

    Take a cue from Tom Haverford and put your iPod on a Rumba. DJ Rumba costs less, more interesting, less douchey and then you can take him home to clean your house for you. I see no down sides to that.

    Perhaps there is just a slight difference in the amounts used.

    Liked by 1 person

  90. Two years ago my aunt gave my son an advent calendar that was a picture of a Christmas tree. And every day you put an ornament sticker on the tree. He liked it enough that the following year I wanted to get him another. Turns out some charity was selling them, but only in multiples of 12. Fine. I bought 12. He’s now set for his entire childhood! But now the charity keeps sending me crappy necklaces, dream catchers, and other useless junk that just goes straight in the garbage. Such a waste of money!

    Like

  91. 91
    Rebecca in SoCal

    SO MUCH yes here! Mandy with the expensive cat: I have had letters of solicitation from my medical group! At least they stop quickly.

    I don’t believe I have ever received change in a solicitation. However, there is an organization that sends yearly mail with several things: notepad, pen, decorative item, etc. As we were picking through what we actually wanted, my husband was feeling guilted into donating! I told him this was the worst sort of organization to give to,,,does he want to fund gifts to other potential donors? Grr.

    Like

  92. YES!!! Totally agree and wish to dog that charities would stop hiring marketing firms that use these types of tactics!

    Only small consolation is that seeing those damn coins, note pads, address stickers, craptacular greeting cards, magnets, etc etc tells me exactly who NOT to donate to…

    Dammit, that’s not true. I get those things even from the folks I’ve already donated to, which just pisses me off all the more. I already donated to you, you dipshits!!! Why are you wasting my donation to send me a $%@&!! solicitation???!!!

    UUUGGGGHHHH. Thanks for letting us vent, Jenny.

    Like

  93. There is an app that now costs but is totally worth it to me. It’s called PaperKarma and it works by you taking a photo of the offending mail item and then they work to get you off the mailing lists. I already struggle with so much guilt and depression during this time of year that I really appreciate going to my mailbox without dread. My uncle is a postal worker and he also uses it. Less crap for him to carry if everyone could get off those mailing lists!

    Liked by 1 person

  94. PETA sent me some nice return address stickers. I used the stickers but blocked them on Twitter so I didn’t have to see their gross photos.

    Like

  95. This was a very informative post. First I really don’t like peta anyone who tells me it’s wrong to live with a cat can go s*** themselves. They are my babies and I love them. Second those other charities sending money clearly don’t know what there doing so I’m keeping the money. I prefer to donate to toys for tots and spark of love but I buy the toys because I’m great at shopping and can get a brand new very nice $20 toy for $5. It’s not a crapy toy either. I also buy food for the food bank. I like to get as much for the money as possible.

    Like

  96. I don’t get enough guilt change to really do this, but if I did, I would throw it all in a bowl and when there’s a decent amount, I would give it to my local animal shelter or use it to buy them a roll of paper towels or something.

    Like

  97. Put all the pennies face up on park benches or sidewalks and you just made some little kid’s day.
    Toss the rest in a fountain. You are just re- investing their poor marketing investment. That makes you almost a stock broker. Just don’t drop any from the top of the Empire State Building

    Also, I was going to go online and totally make fun of the dude that is the reporter for the World Series because his bow tie is so distracting that I can’t even hear what he is saying. I had stopped what I was doing two days in a row now to stare in horror at the television screen trying to figure out what the hell that man was thinking when he put that tie on and also, who the hell tied it for him and lastly how people allowed him to not only go into public like that but ON NATIONAL TELEVISION. I thought,” Man, with friends like yours you don’t need any enemies.” I had every intention of sitting down and writing a whole blog post about him and went so far as to look up his name. When you type” Baseball bowtie reporter” into Google you get his name. You also see – just from the titles of the results- that the bow ties are designed by Dhani Jones and it’s all part of a charity/ awareness BowTie Cause and damn it. Also, he admits he ties them himself and that he isn’t very good at it. Well, that took all the wind out of my sail. How can I make fun of someone that would knowingly and willingly go on national Television looking like a really big dork with a poorly tied bow tie for charity?

    Liked by 2 people

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  98. I kept reading pennies as penises and it actually still made a lot of cents.

    I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.

    Liked by 2 people

  99. Thank you for laying out some very good points in your inimitable eloquent and engaging fashion.

    Like

  100. Also, please, no more return address labels. I send at most 10 pieces of snail mail in any given year so my current supply of return address labels will be exhausted by the time I turn 127. For other tchotchkas, Mayo Clinic is The Worst. They have a multi-million dollar art collection in their buildings and they beg for money constantly from anyone who has ever been a patient there and they send some of the crappiest crap that ever graced a plea for money. Like a paisley plastic tote bag that outgassed the most horrible fumes. Or weird little enameled disks with the Mayo logo on them to put on your key ring or, I don’t know, to wear as a pendant to show how much you love the medical industrial complex?

    Liked by 1 person

  101. Have you seen the salaries for some of these ‘non-profits’ (I am looking at you, United Way). I think I just figured out why they don’t make a profit. Can you imagine how many more programs they could fund with their CEO’s salary?

    Like

  102. Totally. I always ram them in the donation envelope and send them back. It’s downright offensive.

    Like

  103. Oh honey we have all seen time and time again that YOU are not even close to being a bad person. I work in development (ie fundraising) for a major non-profit that thankfully sees eye to eye with you. WE HATE THAT STUFF. We work to be good stewards of the assets we are given by our community and I’m not going to waste half of it to send you a clicky pen the cat will bat under the refrigerator. Feel free to call those places and tell them to knock it off. We actually really hope people give us feedback because often it’s the only force that makes us change! It’s your money and you deserve to see it put to good use.

    Liked by 2 people

  104. You sent a horrible PETA card to someone awful? That’s fucking genius! I’m dying….😂😂😂😂

    Like

  105. Amen to all of this! I hate those charities that try to guilt, shame or shock. That is not how to get support.

    Like

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  106. Sorry, it’s my fault. They get the change from that little compartment in my car. It’s always full because my anxiety never lets me take the time to stand at a register and pay with exact change.

    Like

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  107. 107
    Linda Hanchett

    I’ve even gotten quarters. I do not give anything to any place that sends money. I rip the envelope open, get the coin, tear the whole letter up, trash it, and give the coin to some other charity or just keep it. Also, CHECK WITH CHARITY NAVIGATOR to see what is a good charity. It’s gotten so bad that I pile the junk mail on my floor and try to deal with it when I can. I’ve just discovered that I have breast cancer, and I sure do NOT need one more stress!!

    Like

  108. I like the comment about sending their guilt money back in their own envelope. But you can also Google how to get yourself off mailing lists. Or if you have the time, contact each sender and request to be removed from their mailing lists. I usually write a note on their request and mail it back to them. Usually works except for a couple of diehards.

    Liked by 1 person

  109. Oh Lordy…one of my pet peeves too. I can’t leave the nasty penny in there either because even though it’s a penny, it still feels like throwing away money. My son had a mishap with a slushee in the car that basically exploded everywhere. We got it mostly cleaned up but apparently I missed the change in the console because there are several pennies stuck in there and I can’t pry them loose to save my life. I can’t help but wonder what slushees are doing to his insides if it turns into cement on contact? Also, I’ve come to the conclusion that I can never sell my car because I can’t just give away money anymore than I can throw it away. I’ll just have to include the change in the price of the car. So if anybody is interested in a used Chevy Equinox, I’m asking $5000.09 for it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  110. 110
    Jennifer Zimmerman

    I haven’t been able to look at pennies the same way since this happened….
    http://www.cc.com/video-clips/zpuyqq/upright-citizens-brigade-ass-pennies
    I can thank my brother-in-law for that, it’s one of his favorite comedy sketches ever.

    Like

  111. Hadn’t given it much thought, but now I think I’m going to save the unrequested guilt coins for the Salvation Army buckets. I’d stopped putting money in them when I learned they don’t offer benefits to same sex partners, but I still felt guilty and worried about what others thought. Now I can appear to give and not waste the money.

    Like

  112. All the diabetics are going to die because I take the brand new nickels they send 4 times a year and donate them to the one organization that never bothers me and is close to my heart: Movember. I”m sure you’re aware of them and their big drive is this month. I could have lost my my grandfather, father, and two of my brothers (so far, I have several nephews), but their big research has saved them from dying from prostate cancer.

    Like

  113. What kind of world do you live in down there? No one sends me money in Canada. The government does once in a while because I spent too much money on sales taxes and they feel bad enough to send some of it back to me. But that’s it. No one else gives me money. I steal money from time to time though. Almost always from The Viking because he has no idea how much money he leaves laying around where some fucking opportunist could take it all. I’m really trying to teach him a lesson but he’s a slow learner about these kind of things, I guess. :o)

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  114. Thank you, that was just what I needed!

    Like

  115. PeTA are assholes. Take their money. Or have them send it to me and I’ll take it.

    Like

  116. I am a letter carrier. If you refuse delivery of the item, it gets thrown away at the post office (because they pay such low postage they give up the right to have it returned, so they never KNOW that you are refusing delivery) and because it isn’t legal to throw money away, the post office keeps it. So just keep the money without guilt. A lot of these ‘charities’ spend most of their money on salaries for their employees and less so to the people that they supposedly serve. Also, they sell their mailing list of people who give money, so if you give to one, expect a flood of others to start sending you requests for money.

    Liked by 1 person

  117. Jenny, put all the money into their postage free envelope and send it back to them.

    (They didn’t even include a postage free envelope. Just and envelope with “Thank you for using your own stamp” on it. ~ Jenny)

    Like

  118. No one has ever sent me loose change. Or glued change. But at the end of each year, I usually walk out of one of my gullible friends’ homes with a brand new calendar for the upcoming year because my friends are easily suckered into sending money to the World Wildlife Federation. So I get to look at pictures of animals that someone else paid for.

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  119. 119
    Mrs. Johnson

    I re-posted this on Facebook (as promised in my earlier comment) and when I checked to see who “liked” it there was an offer from Facebook to “Add a Donate Button”. I’d send you a screen capture but not sure how to get it to you.

    Like

  120. Amen, Sister!

    Like

  121. I used to know people who were paid, per piece, to glue pennies to advertising circulars (and other tchotchkes like plastic coins, cards that looked like gift cards, plastic four leaf clovers, and so on). That glue is, in fact, nastier going on than coming off. And it’s vile, tedious work that pays bupkis, but you can do it while you try and keep four heathen children in line.

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  122. Thank you, l thought I was the only person who thought this…They need to stop the madness!

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  123. I like to leave loose change heads up on the ground near the entrances to schools and hospitals to give people a lucky day. It feels like I’m spreading just a tiny bit of joy in a world I typically don’t have control of. It seems like an excellent use for guilt change.

    Liked by 1 person

  124. My dad once got a dollar bill from a veterans group trying to guilt him into contributing. He kept it and his logic was that since he was a veteran, they had just helped him.

    Liked by 1 person

  125. I love pennies.
    I hate guilt solicitations.

    Like

  126. I’m with you girl! My parents receive mail from so many different organizations they are on a fucking hamster wheel for everyone wanting their money 😂😂😂 I’m not sure if I’m on to something but I started writing “died please remove from list” and putting a legit stamp on…hopefully that a will stop the crap that shows up in our box… by the way I have all of our mail going to a P.O. box because they were sending 💰💵💸 to all the orphans and poor animals…ugh!!!

    Like

  127. Dear Humane Society of the United States (HSUS).
    Please stop sending me donor requests showing starving dogs. Stop impersonating the LOCAL Humane Societies that actually spend money on saving pets. I know none of the money the HSUS collects saves one damn dog. Stop lying to prospective donors. You suck, STOP IT>

    Like

  128. I have a recycle bag next to my front door and that’s where all of this stupid stuff goes. I don’t even open them. Also, I don’t mind pennies but I HATE nickels. They are the most useless coin ever invented. Dimes are half the size and worth twice as much!

    Like

  129. We live and travel full time in an RV.

    We do have an official mailing address, but we no longer receive free bricks of useless return address labels from charitable organizations.

    I consider this a win.

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  130. Come to Canada. We banned pennies here.

    Like

  131. I refused delivery on all charity mailings for a while, and now I keep my charity close to home, mostly buying sandwiches for hungry people I pass when running errands.

    Like

  132. I hate those, too! I have a whole pile of address labels which will probably last several years, but they keep sending more. The note pads are being saved for grocery lists at the moment. The cards–Most of the cards I toss, especially since the Christmas ones tend to say “Happy Holidays” and I have relatives who might get offended at that. 😉 I don’t send a lot of cards anyway, not in this digital age. But then, after you’ve tossed the cards, or the umpteenth copy of some book written by the charity which you’ve never bothered to read, they send a letter asking “Did you ever get the cards? Please let us know you did–and, by the way, send money!” But don’t forget the calendars. Yet more calendars.

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  133. Oh dear. I adore you. This is my favorite kind of rant, says the woman who held onto a whole year’s worth of charitable solicitations so I could evaluate it at the end of the year and put some charities on the naughty list.

    Liked by 1 person

  134. Pennies and nickels…my purse weighs 12 pounds because of all the spare change at the bottom. Address labels…I haven’t sent anyone a card or a letter in, like, six years. You want to get my attention? Send me a Q-Tip. My ears are chronically waxy af. I’ll be so appreciative I might actually send you a couple of bucks.

    Liked by 1 person

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  135. I can’t stop laughing. I’m high but nevertheless…

    Like

  136. I have rolled that glue into a little ball and stuck it on my face because it looks like a huge ugly mole. It’s horrifying to look at and grosses out my teenagers.

    Like

  137. 137
    monilog2015

    I love you and you are my people. JENNY, would you be willing to set this up with another link that doesn’t have fucking in the title? I don’t mind the word, but I am now sending this to every offending charity and I actually want them to read it and you know how SOME PEOPLE won’t read if that word is in the title. The SOME PEOPLE are usually those who think of these weird giveaways for charitable donations. AnyHOW, SA has been put on notice. I read this the same day I got two envelopes from them despite my reasonable request to NOT send me solicitations the last time I sent money.

    Like

  138. 138
    Sally-Jane Walsh

    yup. omg I get them all the time. But they have upped the ante and attached nickles instead of pennies because we don’t have pennies in Canada anymore lol

    Like

  139. Oh my yes. I am custodian of my 92YO aunt’s finances and switched her mailing address to mine a year ago. Daily bonanza of coins, greeting cards, notepads, return address labels and pens. Disgusting waste but at least she no longer feels obligated to send them all $20 checks. VULTURES,

    Like

  140. I used to work as a writer for the major gifts department of a large international development organization and I never understood the point of direct mail fundraising tactics. They always felt sort of sordid. But I have to jump in and defend these money-wasting potted plant allegations I read about in an earlier post. I mean, yeah, the office ferns aren’t feeding starving babies. But when a water and sanitation industry expert gives up the chance to have a cushy corporate job and moves to a place where you can only flush the toilet between the hours of 3-5 am and have scheduled daily power outages because he wants to help people not die of cholera, can we really grudge him an aloe plant in his conference room? Hell, I say the charity would even be justified for splurging a bit to buy 2-ply toilet paper…

    Like

  141. To Linda Hanchett – I am so sorry about your diagnosis. My thoughts are with you, and prayers if you want them! Also, I do like pennies and hope we don’t get rid of them in my lifetime. Just turned fifty so not too much longer…

    Like

  142. I am afraid that I must be morally bankrupt. I for one will accept cash in any form, be it change or crisp large or small denomination paper currency, both domestic and foreign. All checks, cashier checks, credit card deposits will be gleefully accepted. Gifted items such as airplanes, motorcycles, boats,title to real property, etc. shipped to me at owners expense will also be accepted. The more expensive the better. I think I may have been a gigolo in a prvious life!

    Liked by 1 person

  143. My grocery store runs your debit card and before you sign it the question pops up” Do you want to end world hunger? Donate now. Yes or No?”
    I
    always answer No because it’s entirely too much responsibility to agree to end world hunger when all you are buying are eggs, half and half and the Nacho Doritos that are on sale and you just had to have. Who needs that kind of fucking guilt? I always answer No and then inform the cashier that I deliberately do not want to end world hunger and to please not ask me again! I think they all look nervous when I get in their line.

    Like

  144. YES! this and so much more! stop sending me the damn return address labels. how much did you spend on those? and the christmas cards i’m supposed to send to friends that tell them that i support you and they should, too… they must have cost you a fortune to print & mail. plus, i’m jewish. and while we’re talking, how about instead of a five minute commercial showing me shivering, crying, dying puppies you get your people to pick up those freezing crying dogs, wrap them in blankets, and feed them. and no, i don’t want your “welcome packet with limited edition sweatshirt” i want you to buy those poor animals some food and medicine and give them shelter and find them forever homes. why do we even have to explain this? i really thought it was just me, jenny, so THANK YOU SO MUCH for letting me know that i’m not alone.

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  145. It’s insane, that sending of coins in the mail when ASKING FOR MONEY. Also, the #1 reason I can’t contribute to any charity that accosts me outside the grocery store: THOSE PEOPLE ARE PAID TO ACCOST YOU. So, really, if I just wanna pay a panhandler to not bug me, I’m gonna give my fiver to that family on the corner with their sign, instead of signing up to receive spam emails for the rest of my life, thanking me for that fiver, and couldn’t I please help them out some more again this year? … just see the dude who accosted me outside the grocery store LAST YEAR.

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  146. grocery guilt! my grocery store encourages re-use of bags. they used to give us 5 cents for every bag we brought with us (because they didn’t have to spend that money on buying the bags for us to use). now they ask if we want to donate the 5 cents to charity. i’m a very bad person and always say i want the money. guilting me into donating is not charitable. (i choose my own charities and donate when i can, thank you very much.) i’d much rather they just stop offering the money and donate it on their own.

    i’ve always kept the money sent as well. (i totally agree that those organizations aren’t to be trusted.) maybe we could all pool the money and have a party!

    Liked by 1 person

  147. OMG – I am so stealing your idea of sending the cat lobotomy card to someone I don’t like. Thank you Jenny for your brilliantly wicked sense of humor.

    Like

  148. My local Walgreens shares a parking lot with an abortion clinic. There was one time nuns were handing out pamphlets with actual dollars stuck to them. Each pamphlet had a card that said: “We put our money where our mouth is!”

    First off WTF?
    Second – it takes more than $1 to raise a baby.
    third- I’m infertile so thank you for paying for my soda.

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  149. I will have you know that I was .78 cents short at the grocery store the other day and had to use my credit card because I never have any damn change.

    Like

  150. What if you send them back those sticky pennies and nickels which they send you? Or is that supposed to cover the postage? In that case, you can send the notepads and cards from other guilt tripping company to that particular guilt tripping company with the words “Try them instead.”

    In Singapore, we get send such envelopes as well but they are always of a low quality, empty and without any cards or money. We don’t get notepads either. I mean we get huge green recycling bags for donation of old stuff but eventually everyone just used them for trash or for hoarding more stuff.

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  151. Thank heavens it isn’t just me that hates getting the “change mail”. I wish they would stop, too.

    Like

  152. It’s gotten to the point where I only donate to small local charities. They usually send me a thank-you letter for my taxes, but that’s it. Another bonus is that almost all the $ go to the actual function of the charity, which for me the last few years has been the local food banks. The local firehouse includes a Santa photoshoot you can take pets to, but I get the feeling that’s been donated and they’re not spending my $ on it.

    Like

  153. The one I hate the most is when I get calls from my college alumni association. Hello, I already gave the school thousands and thousands of money, you want more? I don’t think so

    Like

  154. This is exactly why I only donate to local animal rescue centers….like the lady who rescues the cats dumped down by the river. I don’t think she has the time or money to produce and mail me a notepad with a cartoon doggie on it. And thank goodness for people like her!

    Like

  155. 155
    Studio Jill

    I was told that if the envelope comes with the (very common) “Presorted Standard U. S. Postage Paid” it does no good write Return to Sender or Refused Delivery on them and put them back in the mail system because these senders haven’t paid enough postage for the privilege of knowing who doesn’t want their junk. So, the mail carrier has to throw them out. (Guilt not avoided.)

    The wasted trees and water are enough to make me angry at the hole system as I’m sure they are for you too. The wasted coinage and bad juju from throwing them out are just super extra trouble. Grrrr.

    Like

  156. That kind of BS fundraising ploy led me to the Better Business Bureau for charity and if most of my donation goes to admin costs or more fundraising, you know it’s a worthless charity, but if most of my donation actually goes to the cause, then yay!!! Take my money!! Or at least take the money I have to donate after bills which isn’t much and which causes me to. E more selective about who I donate to.

    Like

  157. 157
    Christie Kivisto

    Yeah, I choose my charities carefully because of crap like this. I have enough Christmas address labels to last me probably for the rest of my life, considering how often I actually send physical mail anymore.

    Also the US should do away with pennies like we did here in Canada. It’s so much easier!

    Like

  158. Maybe the change is meant to be used as postage? Why not just write on the envelope that you’re no longer at that address and return to sender? Let the post office send it back and maybe they’ll actually take you off their list. I’ve never received any change in the mail, maybe because I don’t have enough to give out. 🤷‍♀️

    Like

  159. Nowadays, they also get you at the cash register. Would you like to donate $2 to save frogs dying in the rainforest? The person asking has no idea that I already give money to places I have carefully selected, so when I say no I get the stink eye and feel like a total asshole. I AM NOT MADE OF FUCKING MONEY! I love frogs, but I can’t save everything and everyone. I am with you, Jenny.

    Like

    the incurable dreamer recently posted the sticky side always goes down.

  160. END ALL CRAP MAIL! I do not understand how my mail box has become a government sponsored litter receptacle. And to end a small portion of this madness I have to sign up with some website that asks for a whole lot of personal info. I WISH there were a lobby to end all unasked for mail advertisements… oh yeah, and to end all lobbying too. Send it back. SEND IT ALL BACK! ; )

    Like

  161. 161
    Melissa Gaeta

    Or how about when the Arbor Day Foundation sends 10 PAGES of a pointless survey and junk mail…so we can save trees!

    Like

  162. I haven’t read through all the comments, but some years ago, someone told me the magic words. to make charity requests stop. All you do is open it up, take out the contents and write in bold sharpie PLEASE DELETE FROM YOUR MAILING LIST. iT WORKS! They really don’t want to waste mailings on a dry well. we get none of those appeals anymore. I think the postman appreciates it, too.

    Like

  163. YES YES YES!!! I love everything you said here. These organizations are NOT the ones to which I donate. I am clearly a terrible, horrible, unfeeling, self serving person. I paid lots of money to get myself a shredder that will handle the coins, note pads, stickers, et al that are sent to me. After FIVE YEARS of total black out response on my part, I continue to receive the envelopes and I continue to dump them unopened into the (very expensive) shredder. I type this here just so you know, if you send them money, I will be shredding it. Not to mention the very small percentage of donated funds that actually reach the afflicted…
    Thank you Jenny

    Like

  164. I made a $10 donation the The World Wildlife Fund once, in a moment of weakness. For YEARS after I got annual calendars, notepads, stickers, etc. I’m pretty sure all the shit I got cost way more than $10. It didn’t stop until I moved. Never again. I donate locally. I do appreciate the free return address labels from Easter Seals, and the notepads from Doctors Without Borders, though. You can never really have enough.

    Like

  165. I’m really on the fence about this… I agree that sending change to a bajillion people in an effort to get them to donate to you sounds completely counter-productive (just how much money are they actually giving away each year this way?). And yeah, I would totally wonder if my donation was being used to send change to a hundred other people. However, I have to admit that I do like, and use, the address labels that our local Humane Society sent me two years ago. They only sent them once, and since then I’ve gotten multiple correspondence from them with no “extras” whatsoever, so maybe it just doesn’t feel as wrong that way? And it honestly has made me donate twice simply by seeing the labels sitting on my desk and going “hey, I should donate again!”. So… Maybe it sorta works?

    Like

  166. 166
    Jennifer Plumm

    I understand where you are coming from but I’m in the print business. We put food on the table because those organizations send guilt mailings. Even though you don’t like them they at least serve a purpose for my family.

    Like

  167. I got a card from my dad once with at least 10 2cent stamps on it. He told me that a charity sent return envelopes with them but he had already sent a flat donation. They kept sending them, s he removed them and used them to mail birthday cards.

    Like

  168. I’ve worked in nonprofits for nearly 30 years, and I dislike the coin guilt mailings too. But they are still a thing because they actually raise money. People continue to send donations in response. [shrugging]

    Like

  169. I love you so hard right now.

    Like

  170. I work for the postal service. I see how much money they actually send out like this. One of those companies sends out DOLLAR BILLS. We had to come up with a codified procedure nationally to handle this money.

    (No, we don’t get to keep it.)

    Like

  171. PS: It’s illegal to destroy money. Just so you guys know. If you use the edge of your fingernail, you can separate the coins from the envelope without opening them. Leave the gummy stuff on. Take the coins to your local pet shelter and put them in whatever “DONATE” jar you find there.

    So yes, please don’t shred money.

    Like

  172. I gave $5 to St. Jude, and they proceeded to send me more than $5 worth of junk mail. This is what they do with my money. No more.

    Like

  173. My pet peeve is the ones that are addressed to “Mr. Courtney Bolton”.

    I’m not a “mister” and I don’t appreciate being addressed as such. I don’t care how worthwhile your charity, if you misgender me, I’m pitching the entire thing in the recycling bin. (Unless there’s cash inside, in which case, I’m taking the money out first.) Why are we still using gendered honorifics anyway? If you don’t know for a fact that the person you’re sending stuff to is a man, maybe don’t address stuff to “Mr” when in fact that person is a “Mrs”. Maybe don’t make assumptions based on someone’s name?

    For some reason, it’s just the military/veterans charities that do this to me. You’d think they’d take a hint. Maybe I’ll start sending stuff back marked “Addressee unknown” just to mess with them.

    Like

  174. I keep intending to try the thing where you stuff the junk mail you receive into the postage paid envelopes and put it back in the mail, but I haven’t quite gotten there yet. Perhaps for the same reason I can’t bring myself to be rude to a telemarketer. I will politely tell them I’m not interested and to please remove me from the list, and have a nice day. I know it isn’t the individual calling’s fault that they have such a thankless job. Maybe this is my Canadian showing?

    Like

    Jeanie Tortoisefly recently posted Humanity, Inc. Tech Support - TEEN OS Upgrade.

  175. The really pushy/offensive ones, and the ones who clearly bought my name and address from someone else, I’ve answered a couple of times by stuffing their prepaid reply envelope with as much heavy crap as I can cram in (dead PC RAM sticks, etc.) and sending them on their way. As for the door-to-door in-person variety, something I’ve done in the past and am about to do again is to post a sign in elegant calligraphy saying “Peddlers and Proselytizers Will Be Shot and Eaten.” It at least cuts down on the wear and tear on the doorbell.

    Like

  176. This is fascinating. I never get any of this!

    I mean, my car insurance company sends me address labels at Christmas, and I use those all year, but I don’t get solicitations for anything. I donated my car once (It was dead. They probably lost money, but I didn’t have to have it towed.) and my in laws get mail from that begging for money, but they’re shipping to the wrong address, so my in-laws throw it out. Rarely, I’ll get a magazine addressed to the previous owner.

    I mean, I actually get mail in my mailbox. Mail for me, and bills. Crazy, right?

    No one comes to the door unless my dog is loose, they’re giving out free batteries for your fire alarm, or Halloween. (Yes this is a thing. Every year the churches in town get together and hand out religious pamphlets with a 9 volt battery and a reminder to check your fire alarms once a year.)

    I’ve got it pretty sweet. Hadn’t appreciated that!

    Like

    reneewittman recently posted High Point of My Dog’s Day.

  177. I’m not a fan of the tactic, but Nonprofits do this because it works! They aren’t sending you fundraising letters just because it’s fun. They’re sending them because fundraising letters raise more money to help more people. If they didn’t do this, your donations would do NOTHING because most people don’t give unsolicited donations, and without other donors, your gift won’t have the infrastructure to get it to the right place and people.

    Like

  178. I hate getting those in the mail. Makes you wonder how many are just tossed as junk. Someone could make a living just collecting those from mailboxes when they go out!!

    Like

  179. They are terrible marketers. You are a wonderful person.

    Like

  180. Back when we had a land line we got calls all the time from some cancer charity always wanting donations. One day I answered one of those and my mom yelled down the stairs asking who it was, I yelled back “It’s the cancer people again!” She said “Well tell them to get a life!” They hung up. Me: “I think they heard you!”

    They stopped calling after that. Mom didn’t intend for them to hear her but we regret nothing.

    Like

  181. I’m sure more people have said the same thing but as an Australian used to receiving many requests from charities (oh my god Medecins sans Frontieres please stop CALLING ME can’t you tell I’ve learned your number and never pick up?) I find it really freaking weird to hear that it’s a normal thing to send letters with coins glued to them?? Like, what? That’s so much effort spent gluing coins instead of like, suturing injured children. Do that instead, right?

    Also, maybe tell them you’re going green and only read electronic correspondence now?

    Like

    klementineisme recently posted On Gay Marriage, Drag Queens, and Attending Rallies.

  182. 182
    Mhs_tw@yahoo.com

    Cfor what it’s worth, NPR and local college radio stations gladly let you say “no premium.”
    But if they had ever really done atote bag with Nina Totenberg and the graphic “nina totin’bag” like the car talk guys threatened, I’d have been all over it.

    Pennies not so much.

    Like

  183. Someone up above was rolling her eyes becayse the vet hospital put her on the charitable fundraising list…. I’ve had something similar. My husband donated a kidney to his mom in 2002. He had pain-management problems galore AND they booted him out before it was working (because Homeland Security had decided it was a high threat weekend, they wanted as many beds empty as possible). Several hours after he got home, the oral pain meds of 3 days hit his system at once and he started hallucinating. It was NOT a good experience and we castigated them for donor care on the followup cards… And they are STILL sending us donation requests…15 years later.

    Like

  184. I’ve started getting 49 cent stamps lately, 2 in the last month. They are custom stamps with the charity logo on them. Keeping the stamps. Not donating to the org.

    And, I’ve always called that sticky stuff Monkey Snot.

    Like

  185. I’ve started getting 49 cent stamps lately, 2 in the last month. They are custom stamps with the charity logo on them. Keeping the stamps. Not donating to the org.

    And, I’ve always called that sticky stuff Monkey Snot.

    Like

  186. The plural is Jesi. I’m pretty sure.

    Like

  187. Also – did you know that a dime taped to a letter from a charity will almost – but not completely – go through the shredder at work? The shredder you hope you have not broken because you need a job because you work for money, not as a hobby?

    Liked by 1 person

    the gold digger recently posted In which the quirk that I thought was all about Primo being an engineer is probably more because he was raised by abusive narcissists.

  188. I hate junk mail.. all of it. I want it to stop.

    Like

    itzybellababy recently posted Wear Your Pearls For The Holidays Giveaway Ends 12/25.

  189. Holy Toledo. Asking for money while sending it to you. What an amazingly poor marketing scheme. Some organizations, (shakes head and furrows brow) you just don’t know.

    Like

    Lisa Orchard recently posted What does our Future Hold?.

  190. I rarely get the money ones, but we’re set for address mailing labels for the rest of our lives. Its a win, win. I don’t get writers cramp jotting down return addresses on bills, they get free adverts to be seen by the local mail sorting facility workers.

    Like

    skullwoman recently posted 642 Things to Write About: Tweeting Star Wars.

  191. Letter snot/mail boogers: The stuff they use to stick the coins to the mail and the stuff they use to stick the letters together for mailing. I could really get behind a campaign to eradicate it.

    Like

  192. Take all the change and donate it to the charity of your choice, like the Society for the Protection of Taxidermied Animals.

    Like

    mydangblog recently posted My Week 163: Drama at the Dentist, Titus Has a Hallowe’en Surprise For Us.

  193. I’ve totally put people on the “do not donate to these people” lists because of their money mis-managing – I got TWO calendars in the SAME PACKAGE from the same group that sends me PILES OF STAMPS on envelopes. And yes, I’ve peeled the stamps off and re-used them. Cause: that was 50 cents you threw away.

    Like

  194. I want a box that I can check that says I will give you an extra $20 this year if you never ever send me anything. And another box that says “if you send me guilt money or notepads I will never ever donate again.”

    Like

  195. That is pretty bad. I just got mail from the mortuary and it beats that mail.

    Like

    dodo recently posted We Heard You Might Be Dying.

  196. I like the address labels. I used to get those. Though come to think of it, I got some from my insurance company and I feel like they can give me something back for all the money I give them. The only place that ever sent me money though was Arbitron that sent me a couple dollars and promised five more if I would fill out the survey about what radio stations I was listening to, and where. They did this a few times, and followed through with the $5 when I actually bit and did it, but I fell off their list years ago unfortunately.

    On a serious note though, I heard a report years ago on public radio (probably this: http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2012/11/26/165570502/give-and-take-how-the-rule-of-reciprocation-binds-us) about how charities get far higher response rates if they include something (address labels, cards, those pennies they keep sending you) than if they just send begging letters without anything. It has to do with reciprocity and it explains why we keep sending Xmas cards to people who’ve sent them to us for years while we won’t send them to people who don’t return one.

    Like

  197. https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B00BHBJPHA/ref=strm_fun_nad_81_4
    Thought you might enjoy this as a gift for Dorothy’s birthday!

    Like

  198. https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B00BHBJPHA/ref=strm_fun_nad_81_4
    Thought you might enjoy this as a gift for Dorothy Parker’s birthday!

    Like

  199. You make a valid point! I never thought of it that way..

    Like

    mymodernmusekwt recently posted Have a Wonderful Weekend.

  200. I used to use the coins to make a wish in wishing fountains “please let this money come back to X charity in bountiful ways”

    Like

  201. A few things – #1, make sure it’s not a scam. A lot of scammers are well funded these days and are producing mail that looks legit. But it’s not.

    #2, a lot of the “free change” and other freebies are actually paid for by grant money or earmarked donations that have to be used for fundraising. So they actually can’t use that money for their cause, they essentially have to give it away. Seems kind of dumb, like I’ll give you money but only if you use it to get more money.

    #3, do what I do – collect that change and drop it in the Salvation Army pot so they stop ringing that damn bell for a few seconds.

    Like

  202. Ha! I think I just peed a little. The only thing that would make me feel better about this is if I could actually throw the money back at them and bonk someone in the forehead with germy loose change. Is that bad?

    Like

  203. 203
    JenniferNennifer

    I love you.

    Like

  204. If we had that over here… I think I’d save the damn things up and give ’em to some charity that CAN’T afford to throw money away. The harder charities push with their advertising, the less I find myself giving, and they push HARD these days.

    Like

  205. I just now finished off the notepad from the USOC telling me to support our athletes in the London Olympics. Clearly, I’m set on notepads for life if I’m just now working through my 2012 backlog.

    Like

  206. OMG THANK YOU!!!!!! This weekend I tried desperately to unsubscribe from all these mailings and the site conveniently crashes EVERY DAMN TIME. I’m like “cheers for making me feel like an asshole for yelling at charities” but honestly this is what it has come down to. I take all the dimes, nickels, mailing labels, notepads, etc. and it’s their own damn fault!

    Like

  207. 207
    Alice_Fraggle

    I get the same kind of mail, and I think the same thing.

    Like

  208. Canada has abolished pennies… just sayin’
    I agree, they are garbage money.

    Like

  209. AMEN. I hate getting the “here have this thing we kind of can’t afford so that you’ll send us more money so we can send more things we can’t afford” things. And MoD, I get it, great movement, but holy Toledo, keep the damned times already. They’d probably be twice as funded if they did.

    Like

  210. That should read damned dimes…. Can we add autocorrect to the list too?

    Like

  211. 211
    Princess Judy

    You know they say you have spend money to make money so there must be something working about sending out the nickels and dimes.

    Also, I don’t get any of that stuff because I Googled “how to stop junk mail” and signed up at several places and now none of that junk comes to me in the first place. I’ve moved several times and I still don’t get any so it is definitely by name not address. When I donate to places I usually chose anonymous just so it doesn’t generate mail or calls.

    I’m kind of sad I don’t get cat lobotomy cards though. Are they how-to? I could use that info!!!!

    Like

  212. 212
    Lisa Arbour

    This is random, but I couldn’t figure out any other way to share it with you…
    https://www.bamboorama.co.uk/

    This reminded me of the banks you posted a couple of years ago.

    Like

  213. I hate the PR technic behind these letters. I always get Christmas cards and I feel bad for using them although I didn’t give them money. However, Greenpeace stated there’s way too much trash, so technically I’m recycling.

    Like

  214. Whine, whine, whine. You children don’t know how good you have it.
    Here’s how to get rid of a lot of junk animal charity mail solicitations:
    Move into a retirement community, even though you are only 71 but everyone there is over 85.
    Now you’ve changed your address to a no-pet facility full of old geezers.
    You won’t get any more animal charity requests.
    But very soon you will start getting mailings for testosterone enhancements (even though you have a definitely female name), hearing tests, and bazillions of medicare supplement plans.
    And best of all, LOTS of mailings for mortuary services, funeral homes, cremation services, and cemetery plots!!!
    There are days when I’d gladly welcome my own lobotomy.

    Like

  215. Wait… this is a thing?! Why?!?! WHO ON THEIR MARKETING TEAM CAME UP WITH THIS SHIT PLAN?!?!

    Like

    Awkwardly Alive recently posted I’m Living with a Poop Ninja..

  216. One of the reasons my favorite charity is my favorite charity is I told them I wanted to donate, but I don’t want to receive solicitations in the mail, I don’t want magazines, I don’t want any “free gifts” down to and including address stickers, I don’t want emails, and I don’t want phone calls, and i don’t want monthly thank you letters after my donations.

    So once a year they send me a tax receipt, and once or twice a year they send me a notice of a fundraising run or big dinner, and that’s it. Yay! for hassle free donating!

    Like

  217. Omg. I know what you mean.
    I have sent back the nickel or dime they sent and enclosed a note saying ‘ I think you need this more than I do.’ Good luck and please remove me from your mailing list.
    It’s wasnt two months later and got the same thing but it was for my mother who had passed away 4 years earlier. Lol I did the same and said ‘ my mother is no longer with us I’m sure she would want you to put this change to good use ‘ please remove her from her mailing list as well.
    It stopped for awhile but they started again. Lol
    I just put on envelope
    RETURN TO SENDER
    😂

    Like

  218. What really gets me, is the bigger, white guy talking about how these malnourished, African child has the bloated stomach, and the flies congregating around his eyes. Why the hell doesn’t the white guy who looks like he has never missed a meal help him out? He is there for gosh sakes!

    Like

  219. I see your penny and raise you deforesting by the arbor society and the sierra club. I donate to the arbor group cuz trees – oxygen. I get so much paper mail from them. calendars and letters and envelopes and pamphlets about trees. Just save the postage and cost of all the paper products and bonus round save the fucking trees. sigh. I also can do without the here is how they prepare dogs to eat them crap. Is this something we can sue for???

    Like

  220. Proof pennies are useless, junk money: Canada got rid of them. Now I have a pile of useless, junk pennies that I’m saving as some sort of artifact for the kids I’ll never have?

    Like

  221. Fun Fact: the industry term for the sticky gray goop is actually “booger glue.” I laughed out loud at a marketing meeting the first time I heard this, and a table full of people who apparently were not third-graders, but professional marketers, just stared at me witheringly.

    Like

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