I think I found what I want on my tombstone.

in Random Crap

A series of unrelated things to catch you up on:

1. Apparently there was thing years ago where people replaced the vowels in their names with “oodle” and I guess I missed it but from now on please refer to me as Joodle-Noodle.

2. This happened on twitter and when I wrote the second tweet I thought “Wow,  that would be a great thing to put on my tombstone”…

And actually now I’m even more convinced I want it on my tombstone because it’s both poetic and horrible at the same time and it makes terrible but imaginative people like us accidently laugh in the middle of a graveyard and then feel bad for laughing and then laugh even harder because of the awkwardness and then run away and that sort of sums up my whole life.

3.  OPERATION DESTROY MY HOUSE AND SANITY is still going strong.  It only took a week of destruction and severe water damage for me to finally achieve the minimalist look that everyone on instagram seems to so easily have:

LOOK AT THESE CLEAN LINES, BITCHES.

4.  I forgot what four was.

149 thoughts on “I think I found what I want on my tombstone.”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. My brain hurts from trying to figure out how to oodle-ize my name. I can’t believe you’re making me do math on a Friday!

    (SO MANY VOWELS. Maybe…Doodle-oodle-noodle-oodle-oodle-loodle-oodle? Catchy. ~ Jenny)

  3. I won’t lie. When I got the email notif, I read the title of this post as “what I want on my trombone” and frankly, even that wasn’t that weird, considering the source. So I guess you have to learn to play trombone now?

  4. Just whisper “shiplap” into the mirror three times, and Joanna Gaines will appear behind you.

  5. I don’t even know how to say my name using the oodle method…. oodle-M-oodle? Or if we go with the “Y isn’t a vowel” thing… oodle-my by spelling and oodle-me by sound which sounds like its a request…. “um ok, ooodle your what?”

    This is super awkward.

    (Dear Oodle Moodle, I had to look it up but I read that if a syllable only has a “Y” in it the y counts as a vowel. ~ Jenny)

  7. Dear Joodle Noodle I’m glad Hailey has discovered the wonder that is Benedict CumberNoodle. Truly the universe gifted us when it gave us Benedict. I do hope that your life is very, very long, because I’m going to need help accessorizing my dingdings.

    Coodle Woodle.

  10. To doodle-ize, simply use the first two consonants of your name. Skip the vowels.

    Jenny: Joodle-noodle
    Danielle: Doodle-noodle
    Kristine: Koodle-roodle
    Sara: Soodle-roodle

    (Oh, that’s way simpler than I was doing it. So Hailey would be Hoodle-Loodle instead of Hoodle-oodle-oodle-loodle-oodle. My way is harder and sounds like drunk yodeling. ~ Jenny)

  11. Oh, Jenny. You absolutely SLAY me with what comes out of your mouth. I can’t stop laughing. Please don’t ever leave us!

  12. Wow Mrs Joodle-Noodle! Maybe you should add that as well. It would read: “It was as good as it was long. And it was very, very long. But look at these clean lines BITCHES!” Too long? (Some would never ask that question!)

  13. The minimalist look looks fine, but a few more taxidermied animals and giant metal chickens are needed.

  14. With #4, Violent Femmes’ “Kiss Off” popped into my head. (“And eight, eight, I forget what eight was for.”)

  16. Moodlendoodle? Moodlendy? Wait what? I don’t think I’m doing this right. Or else my oodlized name is doodlmb…………..

  17. Not sure what I want on my tombstone, but I’m pretty sure, based on how I’ve reacted in the face of past dangers, that my final words will be, “OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHIT.”

    Inspiring.

  24. Danger Noodle, Joodle Noodle, basically you’re sending me a subliminal message to fall face first into a giant bowl of pasta. Thanks.

  25. Ahhh, domestic construction. What a joy. But if you focus on how cool it will be when it’s all over, it’s easier to bear. And I totally get the clean lines and minimalist look fascination. I once wished I had that (my house is so full of books, libraries are jealous), then we had one of our California fires that came to within a few hundred yards of my door and I decided maybe wishing wasn’t the best way to achieve minimalism, given the Universe’s sense of humor. Be careful what you wish for. ~Toodle LOL (That worked out rather well with my name!)

  26. I’m Jen so I’d be JoodleNoodle, too. Unless I do my full name. Then I’m JoodleNoodleFoodleR. Given my love of pasta and food in general I may have to go back to my full name.

    (THAT’S MY FULL NAME TOO. Joodle-Noodle-Foodler. It sings. ~ Jenny)

  27. I actually think “I didn’t even notice until it was out of my mouth” would make a fantastic epitaph!! 🙂 Thanks for the giggle. I really needed it today!

  30. Karyn is kaoodleraooldn? I think I’m not doing this right…..

  31. I love this post. Also, I can watch Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock crash through the window and kiss Molly and ruffle his hair about a thousand times and get just as excited as the first time I saw it. Lord that man is dreamy AF.

  32. I’m totally embarrassed because I think I might be too dumb for this game. Tanya. What kind of oodle or noodle does that make me? Ugh. IT’S SO HARD, JENNY.

  33. When my dear ol’ grandmother passed, they held the terrible tradition of a “viewing”. Never understood the concept, just throw a proper wake for god’s sake. Anyway, we were in a small side room in the funeral home while a large “proper” funeral was taking place in the main chapel. The staff had to come in several times and ask us to quit laughing so loud, we were disturbing the “proper” funeral. We came very close to being thrown out… of a funeral home. And we didn’t even have any booze yet.

  35. Those of you with double vowels are forgetting to add your extra “oodle”. So Jenny would be JoodleNNoodleoodle.
    Love,
    MoodleCHoodleLLoodle

    P.S. Karyn is KoodleRoodleN 🙂 (In this case, the Y is a vowel. The same would be with Amy above – OodleMoodle)
    P.P.S. Don’t even get me started on the Name Game…

  38. Yep. I loved my sister’s name so much that it’s her Contact name in my Iphone Joodleloodleoodle Doodleoodler. My name: Roodlenoodleoodle is also hilarious.

    I love your epitaph.

    Boodlenoodledoodledoodlect Coodlemboodlerboodletch is the best.

  39. Noodle Noodle is so much cooler than my oodle nam -Loodle Soodle. Guess I’ll stick with Louise.

  41. After I read this blog post, the tune: “Polly Wolly Doodle” popped into my head. BTW, I’m Roodle-Doodle. lol

  43. Oodleroodlenoodle Goodlelloodlewoodley. Trying to pronounce that makes me feel like my brain just hiccuped.

  44. So I guess that makes me Chnoodler? I can live with that. I’ve been called worse…

  50. Yesterday, I said, “Someone will tell me eventually” and my co-worker said “You should put that on your tombstone.” Also, I would really love it if, as a female devotee of Benedict Cumberbatch, I could be called a “Cumberbitch”, but I don’t think it will catch on. It’s too bad–I would love to yell out “Where my Cumberbitches at?!”

    (True story: They are TOTALLY called Cumberbitches. ~ Joodle Noodle)

  51. “She didn’t see it coming” – it’s a long story based on fact. Coodle Doodle

  52. When my grandfather died, we went to the visitation at the funeral home in the small farming town where he had lived. Among the floral arrangements was one arrangement that included a yellow plastic telephone with the unforgettable caption, “Jesus called.” I was probably your daughter’s age, and my sisters and I could not stop giggling, even though our mother kept telling us to hush up.

    (I HAVE TOTALLY SEEN THAT ARRANGEMENT AND ALSO NEVER STOPPED LAUGHING. I just assumed it was a one-off. ~ Jenny)

  54. I’m Poodle Oodle, Noodle Noodle Oodle, but my friends call me Poodle Noodle. Ms. Jackson if you’re nasty.

  56. I must be an awful person, too, because I started laughing when I saw it on the headstone.
    Also, you now have a Sanity Vanity. : )

  57. What happens if your name starts with a vowel? Or if you only have one consonant? My name is Anya…would I be Aoodle Noodle? Oodle Noodle? Noodle Oodle?

  58. And oodles….it doesn’t work for me. Coodles sounds too much like cooties and Moodles sounds too much like a cow. A cow with bugs. No.

  59. Hi Joodle Noodle! Oodle Roodle Noodle here! I love your tombstone & feel like if I came across it in my random cemetery jaunts the scenario would play out as you envisioned! I love your decorating scheme! Faucets are so overrated!!!

  60. AND YET AGAIN you give me a hearty laugh on a day when it was extremely needed and not found anywhere until I read your post and the comments following it.
    Whereupon: bwaaa-ha-ha-ha!
    What would I do with out you. Please don’t ever make me have to find out.
    I just wish I could give to you what you give to me.♥♥♥♥

  61. I’m still traumatized by the time my sister-in-law made me bust out laughing at my grandma’s deathbed. I may as well keep the ball rolling and start laughing in cemeteries as well. Also, I need that Hamlet movie bad, real bad.

    iwannabealady.com

  63. Eoodle-moodle-ioodle-loodle-ioodle-eoodle. High on a hill was a lonely goatherd, eoodle-moodle-ioodle-loodle-lay-hee-hoo.

  66. Roodle Coodle reporting here (going by the method in comment 10).
    My mom has always said she wants her tombstone to read “Finally, I don’t have to get up in the morning.” And now she says she wants a granite bench for a stone, and for the bench to have a cup holder cut into it with “Have a drink on me.” engraved by the cup holder. And she asks me how I got so morbid…Gee, I’ll have to think about that one, mom.

  68. 1) So I’m JoodleNNoodleFoodleR?

    2) I don’t plan on having a tombstone. But if I did, it would probably say something like “If you’re reading this, I didn’t make it.”

    3) I’m wishing you a Property Brother rather than a Joanna Gaines. Jonathan is much better to look at and doesn’t come with a Chip but rather a matching Drew. I realize the Gaineses are in Texas, but the Scott boys travel.

    4) I know that feeling.

  70. Hi, from Loodleloodle Zvoodleloodlenoodle! Their gonna charge me extra for That tombstone!!!

  71. Thank you Jennifer S, or should I say Joodlennoodlefoodler. I couldn’t for the life of me figure out my own dang name so I went to the generator you linked and cheated. My new name is Oodlendroodleoodle. I still don’t get how they got that out of Andrea…..but thanks, as always, to JoodleNoodle for starting another day with mahvelous madness!

  72. BENEDICT CUMMBERBATCH!!

    ahem… I just like saying his name.

    Oh god…. Try oodling HIS name! 😮😁

  76. The oodle thing passed me by too. (Moodle Roodle Toodley???)

    As far as fun tombstones go, my grandfather is a few “doors” down from Mel Blanc and his “That’s All, Folks!”

  77. I must’ve missed the whole oodle thing too, but for the record, my full name would be Koodle Roodle Roodle. Maybe it’s just how my brain works, but Koodle sounds like old lady slang for a vagina. I shudder to think what a Koodle Roodle Roodle would be. I’m digging the clean lines in your bathroom, though!

  78. So… Boodle-Boodle? Or would it be Boodle-Boodle-Boodle? Maybe Boodles would be better? I hear it’s a good gin, let’s just go with that!

  79. Shakespeare’s fans will hate me-but whenever I see Hamlet-I think: Hamlet and cheeselet? Green Hamlet and Egglets?
    love always, ToodleHoodle

  80. I was talking to a friend who’s family makes head stones. I asked if they ever messed up and if so could you buy the messed up one cheaper. She looks puzzled but say yes I guess. So when I pass away I’m going to have my head stone say never pay retail and just leave the screwed up one on the other side.

  81. Hailey was slightly excited!? Yeehaw, the girl has excellent taste!
    You can make me laugh so hard. Long and hard, I might say.
    Love, Joodle Moodle

  82. Dear Joodle Noodle, I too, was thinking that I’d be stuck in the “drunken yodeler” mode with a name like Cynthia. Coodle-Noodle-Toodle-Hoodle-Oodle. If it is simply the 2 first consonants then it is much more manageable and easier to monogram onto towels. Best regards, Coodle-Noodle.

  83. I’m now LoodleRoodle….. badassery continues. But really I’m just pissed I didn’t know Mr Cumberbatch’s Hamlet was airing anywhere. Now I need to find it.

    Rock on.

  85. What I want on my tombstone: “Oh, NOW you find time to come visit me?”

  89. Shopping for keepsake urns and one for my partner I want a choose that’s why I have this horrible thing that has me on hospice but hasn’t killed me yet good bad little of both. I decided to let people have some choice and everyone outvoted the ghosts! The replica of my head and or Obama’s head and stuffed animals with a voice recording and a heart full of my ashes inside! Those last ones I could get a whole family pack for the price of one keepsake urn! Of course I found the perfect one awesome price for my bestest friend in the whole world and it’s out of stock! RUDE I’m thinking of making my artistic friend go to that paint a ceramic thingy and make it look like the one online but that’s what ONLINE shopping is for! I’m still a little upset about being outvoted on the ghosties honestly it’s a total conversation piece if you ask me…

  92. How do I oodalize my name, then? It’s Chenay, pronounced with a sh sound. Is it choodle noodle or coodle hoodle?

  93. I want to know when this oodle thing was supposed to be a thing. I am as old as dirt and I do not ever remember it being a thing. On my tombstone I want…”It’s about damn time”

  94. Ooddleloodlezoodlendroodle. I think I did this right. Idk, my name is Alexandra.

  95. We saw Hamlet last night also. It was very very long and very good!
    Moodleooglegoodle.

  96. When I was a kid it was “ubba” to every consonant so my unfortunately long name was
    Subba Hubba A Nubba Nubba O Nubba – Shannon. Fun right?

  101. I’m easy; I just like cheese on my Tombstone.
    For the first time ever I’m wondering why the hell there is a pizza named after the thing they put over your grave when you die.
    Moodle Loodle and sometimes Yoodle.

  102. My brother and his friends had a thing like that. After every consonant, add “ud”, then every vowel you say its name: “ay, ee , eye, oh, you”. His friend Skipper was “Sud-Kud-Eye-Pud-Pud-E-Rud”. I have no idea if that will even make sense – Lol

  104. …. I totally didn’t even read that tweet that way until I saw the ‘phrasing!’ tweet, is my gutter-brain broken? Your bathroom actually looks totally cool like that except for the whole no-sinks part.

  106. Wait, so would my name be OodleyLoodle or OodleLoodle?
    Also, nooooo the bowls are gone! (because we all know they were just pretending to be sinks.)

  107. I would argue that oodle-fy you take the first consonant (or consonant-combo) of every syllable of you name. So Karen would be KoodleRoodle, Kristin KroodleStoodle and Jennifer JoodleNoodleFoodle. It keeps the proper rhythm and consonant sounds. If a name starts with a vowel you’d just use Oodle.

  108. Joodle Roodle here. If you should change your mind on your tombstone saying, may I have it? I find it to be awesome AF. It would look great on my urn.
    Thank you for ending my week on the upbeat. Love ya Jenny, have a great weekend

  110. My landlord called me a minimalist because I can’t afford a sofa so my living room is basically empty hardwood floor. He approves. So I decided to take the idea and now I tout my “decor” as minimalist.
    I’m now so deep in this pretence, that I’m convinced that the only minimalists are those like us – who do it out of some set of circumstances rather than desire.

  113. Shoodle Roodle Noodle Hoodle Yoodle Soodle. I always said that my tombstone will Not say “She kept an immaculately clean house.” In fact, I don’t plan to have a grave either. Just scatter me on the wind in the Sierra Nevadas. Maybe just put up a stone that says, “ She’s not here.”

  116. I would like to be Lady Poodle-Moodle-Loodle-Roodle-Soodle please (and just Lady Poodle-Moodle is fine). And I would also like to have Benedict Cumberbatch say my name over and over and over for as long as he wishes. And that would be a very long time, indeed.

  117. I want my tombstone to say Danger Noodle. And be fitted with Alexa to laugh randomly.

  118. Gotta stop reading these posts in the library. It’s unwise to pass off a librarian. Oh wait, I’ll show them the post and let them laugh their ads off too!

  119. I have a headache from new meds and severe burn out from being at home two small humans all day… the -oodle thing confused me for a second and I thought I was destined to become Poodle-Roodle. Don’t worry…I waited for the largest small human to stop screaming because there was a commercial before the YouTube video she was attempting to watch and then figured out that I would become Oodle-Proodle-L. I sound like a new, overpriced “designer” dog breed…

  120. (And then I read comments and realized I would be Poodle Roodle… I’m pretty sure my great grama had that dog… He was known for peeing on people’s legs if they stood still in the yard too long.)

  122. Jenny.
    I’ve followed you for years but that’s not the point. I’m laying in bed in tears at 1am. I just rolled over and my packed bags fell and “YOU ARE HERE” fell out and snapped Me back to life for a minute. Thank you.

  126. This reminds me of when my 11th grade class was reading Death of a Salesman, and when we got to the part where his wife says “he was so wonderful with his hands” my entire class started giggling hysterically. The teacher was upset at first because why were we laughing so hard about a dead man. When she realized, she smiled too, and then quickly realized she was our teacher and shouldn’t be encouraging that and just moved on.

  127. Well, I knew when I opened it I would laugh – Thanks – always need one. You are a kick –
    Your friend….shoodle-loodle
    My suggestion for remodeling is to “walk mindfully” and breathe!

  128. I wish my brain hadn’t fiddled with BC’s name, or at least used the oodle thing instead because all I have is Blunderdick Cumberpootch, and now I can’t even think of marrying him any more because Cora Cumberpootch is ridiculous.

  129. Do you have access to the Tom Hiddleston Hamlet? I hear it was amazing, but don’t know if it was recorded. For some reason he does it for me much more than Benedict.

  130. My tombstone is entirely up to my survivors — but I’m on record suggesting they use the phrase “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”

  132. Unrelated to your post, but whenever I have a hard time, struggling through my depression, I read your books and blogs and color in your coloring book. I stalk you on social media and read tweets from you and the hundreds of very kind people who also follow you. You and this weird tribe I stumbled upon years ago have helped me so much more than you will ever know and I just wanted to say thank you. It’s so lovely to have a “home” of weirdos to make you laugh and help you fight through crap so you can pass along more help to someone else later when you aren’t struggling. Thank y’all so much!!!!

  134. My poor daughter Victoria…or, rather, Voodle-ctoodle-roodleoodle.
    Her converted name sounds like someone trying to summon an elder god.

  138. Wow! Just wow. I glanced at this headline and thought it said “What I want on my trombone” and I was like that makes sense this is Jen after all. And then I looked again because I read this one yesterday and realized it was Tombstone…… I guess when you wake up to your cat yakking on your pillow it’s going to be one of those days.

  142. so am I oodle-moodle, or emoodle-loodle? I mean, I start with a vowel but only have two consonant sounds ennyhoo. whatevs. or, ya know, whoodle-toodle-voodles.

  144. Oh my. So, joodle loodle? Oodle loodlevoodle yoodle!

    Yep. Drunk yodeling. Bahahahahaha!

  145. I shall now be called Roodleboodlecoodlecoodle Moodleroodletoodlenoodle~! hahaha…hilarious! Also, I LOVE your new minimalism look…clean lines indeed!…hahaha

  149. I’m guessing Hendra would make you chicken noodle? Hen? Chicken? :o)

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