It’s okay to demand the love you need, a lesson my cat taught us

This week Ferris Mewler has been weirdly needy.  He pushes the dog off my lap and growls at anyone in the way and if I’m not touching him he meows, forcefully, which is pretty out of character for him.

I shared this on instagram:

View this post on Instagram

Ferris Mewler demanding love. Loudly.

A post shared by Jenny Lawson (@thebloggess) on

And a friend pointed out how lovely it would be if we all felt like we could ask for the love that we need whenever we needed it and maybe I have PMS but I was like, “AND A CAT SHALL LEAD THEM. WE SHOULD ALL BE FERRIS MEWLER” so right now I’m sitting at my computer with Ferris in my lap and in a minute I’m going to ask my husband for a hug and tell my kid to come snuggle with me even though she things she’s too teenagery and then I’m going to send electronic hugs to friends and then I’m going to send giant internet love to you. Yes, you. Can you feel it? I hope you can.

Now go ask for the love that you deserve. And give the love you want to see in return. Or pet some animals if people exhaust you. It’s all good.

Ferris Mewler and I love you.

123 replies. read them below or add one

  1. 1
    designgeeksf

    And lots of love, hugs, pats and treats back to you and yours. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hugs Jenny, I agree we should be able to ask for the love we need.

    Liked by 3 people

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  3. 3
    ocularnervosa

    Hugs indeed

    Like

  4. Hugs and pets all around!!!!!l
    Laurieb1025@gmail.com

    Like

  5. Love you too, Jenny & Ferris. Thank you for your excellent timing.

    Like

  6. Thank you!! Yes, we should demand the love and hugs we deserve!! ❤️️❤️️

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Well I’m going to just start jumping into people’s laps and growling at anyone who tries to intervene. Best case scenario I get a little and affection. Worst case scenario I get a much needed vacation from real life…in jail.

    Liked by 2 people

    The Suzzzz recently posted Boredom.

  8. Maybe they’re trying to tell us something…one of my cats has also been weirdly demading today. So much so that one of the others came downstairs to see what was going on. #allyouneedisloveandcats

    Like

  9. Hugs, Jenny, you deserve so much love. In my life, I don’t get really great results when I ask for love. So time for another cat. 😕

    Like

  10. That is fabulous – but you might make sure he is okay…… I know I know – worry wart – but sudden changes in behavior especially for attention might mean he has a bladder infection. (been there – done that – actually I have a UTI – I need more love too)

    Liked by 6 people

  11. 11
    A Nony Mouse

    Great big hug coming your way.

    Like

  12. I always ask my husband and kids for snuggles and love and luckily, they’re pretty agreeable. I just throw myself into bed with the cats and dogs. No shame!

    Like

    recently posted I’m at 85% and I don’t know if that’s good enough.

  13. 14
    Jeff Magnani

    I love this Jenny! Thank you!!

    Like

  14. 15
    Fallconskat

    Hugs and hugs and a sniff of disdain from the weird little poodle. She’s mad cause she got groomed, she’s furious that she has to take medication three times a day. I let her have all the snuggles she wants/insists upon, because she’s 14, the medication is for seizures most likely caused by a brain tumor in her tiny brain, and we don’t know how long we’ll get with her. Until then, she gets all the loves she wants.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. ALL THE HUGS TO YOU.

    Like

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  16. my cats are like that when I travel or am gone all day. Even my flights dont get me home until after midnight, I know that I need to allow Charley & Lucy time. They MUST sit on me and lucy demands petting

    Like

  17. One of my cats has been a bit demanding when it comes to love as well.
    Maybe it’s the weather.

    Either way, love to you and yours too!

    Like

  18. Sending electronic hugs, back! My 10 year-old niece is spending a few days with us, so I’m taking all the hugs I can get from her. 🙂

    Like

  19. HUGS ❤ ❤ ❤

    Like

  20. And we love you, too!

    Like

  21. A giant bunch of internet love right back at you!

    Like

  22. Thank you, and you lovely lady has some love back from all of us!!

    Like

  23. 25
    Julie Spilker

    we love you more!

    Like

  24. i would be the best internet friend. I swear. Hugs all around!

    Like

  25. 27
    Dawn in Indiana

    Hugs to you, Jenny.

    I broke my toe and got 6 stitches in it today. And the lidocaine just wore off. Hugs would be wonderful, but I live alone, and my dog is sleeping and totally unconcerned. 😂

    Like

  26. My boss brings his dog to work everyday. Neptune (dog) gets me through each and every day. He is always willing to give me support, acceptance .love……

    Like

  27. Like Oprah, only better: You get some love, and YOU get some love, and YOU ALL get some love!

    Liked by 3 people

  28. I needed this. In the last two months, my husband has lost his job, had invasive gallbladder surgery, had a heart attack, had open heart surgery, and then lost his unemployment benefits. It’s been shitastic. Definitely needing some love over here, and I’m sending some right back to you.

    Liked by 4 people

  29. sending you LOVE!!!! Jennifer A.

    Like

  30. Excellent advice….since my 2 feline companions of 17 years passed last fall, I am going to bring 2 new little friends from a feral mother home to be my BFFs on Monday. May the force be with us and grant us long lives to share.

    Liked by 3 people

  31. Jenny, if Ferris keeps this up for too long, like more than one day, maybe you should take him to the vet to make sure he is all right. If he is just super loving, then you will know how he is just awesome!

    Liked by 3 people

  32. Awww this is exactly what I needed today! Sending love to you and Ferris Mewler!

    Like

  33. ((((SUPERCYBERHUGS))))

    Like

  34. 36
    Anne, Cranky Cat Lady

    Ferris knows you are upset, and he’s doing his best to comfort you by sticking close.

    Like

  35. Both my boys and my parents cat have more needy over the last few weeks. Ferris has the cutest little meow.

    Like

  36. Electronic hugs to you, too, Jenny. You are the awesomest. Here’s an internet cookie.

    Like

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  37. 🤗🤗🤗🤗

    Like

  38. Much needed today… thank you. I was rear-ended on the way to work and texted my boyfriend for emotional support. Thankfully, I am not hurt physically but aching for love emotionally. Almost 10 hours later, he’s yet to ask how I’m doing or check on me. My depression is lying to me today but I’m determined to push through. Sending all my good and happy thoughts who are working through their own struggles.

    Liked by 2 people

  39. Hugs to everyone! (and please interpret “likes” as hugs)

    Liked by 2 people

  40. 42
    Karen Knight

    Thanks for the love, Jenny!! I do feel it!! And I need it badly right now! I guess I need to start meowing at people? Is that how this works?

    Liked by 2 people

  41. 44
    Littlewolf

    Sending love right back your way. I think love would look like Reese’s peanut butter cups for me today, though. Also it’d be nice if my workplace emailed to check in on me, seeing as I’ve been away for 2 weeks due to a haemorrhaging ovarian cyst, a kidney infection, and seriously bad reactions to the meds I was given to treat the above… But anyway, love and purrs for you and the fur faces. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  42. 45
    Catherine Lyons

    c’mere and give me a hug bitch! (that’s what I’d probably say)

    Like

  43. Right back at’cha – gonna go pet my kid and hug my cat now. 🙂 ❤

    Like

  44. 47
    Pamela Jessen

    My cat Dorie makes no bones about when she wants affection – and it’s ALWAYS on her terms. I use my laptop in my recliner and she tries to nose her way under the laptop desk I use to lay on my lap – her preferred place to be. When I refuse, she grudgingly lays on the arm of my recliner, to make typing as difficult as possible, and hoping I’ll give up and switch over to the iPad. That always gives her lap space. Purrsistance be thy middle name!!! She’s not noisy like Ferris Mewler…just nosey!!

    Liked by 1 person

  45. My dog was sitting here and had just started staring at me and grunting, so after I read this, I gave her lots of love and petting and high-pitched voice things. Then I told her some of it was from a cat, and now she’s kind of messed up because this is challenging her worldview. But it’s love anyway, isn’t it?

    Liked by 4 people

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  46. 49
    JenniferNennifer

    Feel it! Sending hugs to all and snuggles from the cats (whose arms are not long enough for hugs)

    Like

  47. Thank you for the love. I usually only accept it from my cats and dogs.

    Like

  48. Hugs right back to you and FM. I even have my cat-hair-resistant pants on. ❤

    Like

  49. When I needed it the most Jenny…you were there. Thank you.

    Like

  50. When I needed it the most Jenny…you were there. Thank you.

    Like

  51. I feel the love, Jenny, but you’ve also created a community that is very loving 24/7 even when some of us are ducking and covering because we’re introverts. Thank you for everything and allow us to send that love right back to you.

    Liked by 1 person

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  52. 55
    Debbie A-H

    Sending love right back to you, amazing woman.

    Liked by 1 person

  53. is he asking you for the loving he needs, or the loving you need?

    Liked by 1 person

  54. He knows how worried and stressed you have been lately. And a huge relief to have your claim approved. He needs confirmation thay you are ok. And he knows by demanding some love, he also gets to comfort you. Clever little munchkin!

    Like

  55. I want a Jenny hug! 🤗

    Like

  56. ALL of the love to you, Jenny. I needed this reminder, and it turns out I got what I asked for when I was finally ready to ask for it. Thank you for being you.

    Like

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  57. 60
    Alonna L Larson

    My mum and I always say “Tell me!” and in response we must always say “I love you”. I’ve always been of fan of demanding my love and affection.

    Liked by 1 person

  58. I’m all for asking for and hopefully getting the love we need That said, please get Ferris checked out since cats don’t show that they’re sick until they reach the level of pretty bad. I kmow how much you love him – I know how much we love him so just saying.

    Like

  59. 💖💖💖 Cats are awesome.

    Like

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  60. We once got a cat from the shelter and they claimed she was shy and gentle. She sure wasn’t shy or gentle when it came to asking for loving and affection.

    Liked by 1 person

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  61. Hey as a retired Licensed Veterinary Technician I feel it is important to mention that sometimes sudden changes in behavior can be an indication of issues. I saw one said bladder infection. Though that of course could be a possibility, there are many other, often very simple reasons, of course not always medical. One I have seen, for example, that causes definite personality changes is hyperthyroidism which is pretty common in kitties. I don’t want to worry you, but if he continues, ask yourself if their has been a possible environmental change that he could be reacting to and if not or if it still continue maybe consider getting him checked. You of course know your guy best. Best wishes.

    Like

  62. I wish we could have pets. My daughter would die from allergies if we got a cat, and my landlord says absolutely no dogs unless we pay another security deposit.

    Like

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  63. I appreciate comment #64 from Amy. Our cat was diagnosed with UTI last week and apparently there were other issues going on. Cats are good at hiding symptoms. Unfortunately, we hugged her for the last time 3 days ago. She was sweet, inquisitive, shy, charming, gentle … and now there is a empty hole. It happened so suddenly. Please, hug your loved ones (furry or otherwise), and send one my way, too, because my arms are feeling kind of empty.

    Liked by 2 people

  64. Volunteered at the shelter today and got muchas smooches from the pooches! Life is good.

    Liked by 2 people

  65. So much love and eHugs! I am especially fond of you Jenny!

    Like

  66. Both of my dogs will paw at me for attention. And when I get annoyed, I try my best to remember that they do this to me. Not just anyone. Me. Because theu trust me to take care of them. And that trust is love.

    Like

  67. My cat ruptured her ACL this week and I’m starting to suspect that part of what she’s demanding is her pain killers. Hugs & Good drugs to all! https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2018/06/14/im-not-beatrix-potter-but-damn/

    Like

  68. Thank you. I’ve had a rough week at work, broke down, and had a fight with my husband about him not meeting my emotional support needs right now. I needed to see this today.

    Like

  69. This is always hard to remember and even harder to do sometimes. Thank you for the reminder ❤

    Like

  70. My cat paws at me if I’m lying in bed and she wants attention. She also understands that if I’m working on the computer, she can just lie down on the keyboard to get me to focus on her.

    Liked by 1 person

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  71. 74
    Rhonda Caudill

    Hallelujah Ferris Meweler. Animals are the best. People exhaust me too!

    Liked by 1 person

  72. Siberian squirrels. Google them. They are like a hug for the eyes. Quokkas also good.

    Liked by 1 person

  73. What a cutie. I think he might not be feeling well.

    Like

  74. “Ask for the love that you deserve” is right up there with “Pretend you’re good at it” in the list of potential tattoos.

    Like

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  75. Love

    Like

  76. Oh! That was so relaxing. A big tight hug from me😊

    Like

  77. I never thought about it, but I do this a lot. I just go steal a hug from my husband if I need one. And he usually complies.
    Hugs to you! (Could you feel the love last Saturday? A new friend and I discovered we both read your stuff and love you. You were getting warm fuzzies all the way from Vietnam!)

    Like

  78. 81
    Apparent weird-o

    Hi ~ I’ve never posted before, but I just wanted to drop a line to say I love your videos because your voice is so melodic and soothing. It’s nice to put a voice to the words – more humanizing? This is getting weird, I’m leaving now 🙂 thank you ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  79. Demand it from whom?

    Like

  80. You might run Ferris to the vet to make sure he doesn’t have an ear infection or a bad tooth. Sometimes they want more attention because they have an owie. Otherwise, snuggle on!

    Like

  81. Huuuugs! I’m not too good at asking for help/attention/etc at work or in social situations, but the exceptions are my mom and my dog. I’ve always been very close with my mom and usually feel comfortable asking her for hugs when I’ve had a bad day, and I insist on cuddling with my dog at least once every evening. Thankfully he is a very calm/lazy dog and just lays there while I hug him.

    Like

  82. I’m kind of convinced that cats are there to show us how to live our lives. Nap when needed. Avoid people when you’ve had too much of them. Be around them when you feel like it. If you want attention/affection/food/needs/etc, make it known and make it known loudly. There is no such thing as an acceptable time to ask for things. Do it when you need it. And sometimes things just need to be broken or knocked off the counter to entertain us. Sometimes the imaginary things in life are the most entertaining. Its okay to run around like crazy and not really care sometimes. There are times where passive aggressive anger (like puking in shoes) is acceptable and overtly aggressive anger (attacking) are perfectly acceptable.

    Liked by 1 person

  83. I think he senses the pressure and stress you are under and demands that you let him fix you by taking care of and paying attention to him. Hope he chills out and things in your house calm down.

    Like

  84. Ferris and Hunter both have a pretty assertive game against Dorothy, but and I mean this, what about Rolly. Too polite and always edged out. #teamrolly

    Like

  85. Hugs and Ear Skritches

    Like

  86. But also maybe have FM checked by a vet. If he’s behaving in an unusual pattern there could be a medical reason. Hug, but verify!

    Like

  87. I have a history (and as a result, a reputation) of not being a hugger. I have made major changes in that area as I have gotten older (because hugs are amazing), but I still sometimes worry that I am lacking some sort of ability to read non-verbal cues that people give off when they are willing to accept a hug, so I am still hug-deprived. I know a couple of people who would never turn down a hug, which is good, but I still probably overthink it (because, hello, social anxiety).

    HUGE HUGS TO YOU!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  88. If only it were that easy, Jenny. I do ask, have asked. Several times. I get nothing. I need physical touch. I crave it.

    Like

  89. He may not be well.

    Like

  90. Coincidentally, I just stumbled across the website http://www.catrentalstore.com and I thought- what a marvelous idea! It’s actually for earth moving equipment rental, but someone should steal it and start a place where anyone who needs some extra love can rent a few cats as needed. Hugs and extra love to everyone today!

    Like

  91. Thank you, oh thank you for the hug and the love. I’m all alone here, and my therapist cancelled yesterday without letting me know. I really needed this.

    Like

  92. One of my cats is frequently needy but I sometimes she senses something wrong with me. Then she’ll say “You need to stop and love a cat.”

    Liked by 1 person

  93. Good for Ferris Mewler speaking to you and telling you that cats need love and petting! (Hope that he wasn’t trying to alert you to anything else that might be wrong that would require the assistance of a v-e-t!)

    Like

  94. Sometimes animals can teach us so much. I’m going to go hug my big, hairy teenager. We need love when we need love!

    Liked by 1 person

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  95. My cat will head butt my head with her head to give her love while I’m asleep. Because it’s very selfish of me to be sleeping and not loving her. I’ll have to fix this unacceptable behaviour. Hugs to you all too<3

    Liked by 1 person

  96. I hope Ferris is ok. Maybe he’s asking for extra attention because he’s not feeling well.

    Like

  97. My dog just demands the food he “needs.” Do you think if I start growling, someone will give me a cheeseburger?

    Like

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  98. I would wonder if the cat is feeling okay. Maybe a trip to the vet, to be sure? I agree with Kiso, sometimes a suddenly fussy cat is apt to be feeling less that up to par. Or paw.

    Like

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  99. We all need love so here is an electronic hug to Ferris and Jenny. However when my cat became needy and out of character it turned out he had a toothache. $900 later he is happy. Now my second cat is in need of a dentist. SIGH

    Like

  100. 104
    Juin TeVrucht

    Hugs and love back at you. And to my fellow readers, too.

    Like

  101. First of all, I have three needy, demanding balls of fur who demand love at all hours of the day and night! I’m exhausted! I’ve tried to explain that they should give each other attention but that’s not going to happen and it opened up a whole other big deal. Sigh. So, yeah, it’s okay to demand love — let’s just not get too carried away. Also, we should balance out demanding love with demanding money! In my house, anyway!
    Mona

    Like

  102. Visiting with frinds today and borrowing their dog so I can participate.

    Liked by 1 person

  103. 107
    Anonymous

    Hugging my pillow as it never rejects me lol

    Like

  104. 108
    Karen Reeves - Queenomedia

    All the important things in life I have learned from my dogs. They always let me know if they need hugs and loving. The best thing is that they ALWAYS love you (maybe because I give them food) and whether you’ve been gone 5 days or 5 minutes, they greet you like you’ve been gone forever. Sending you air kisses and multiple tail wags from me and my 5-dog pack!

    Like

  105. 109
    Wildrider51

    Amazingly, as I read this, I felt someone bump my leg – Little Bit is asking for love. The cats shall lead them, indeed.

    Like

  106. Love you too, Jenny. You’ve helped me immensely through my darkest times. sends virtual hug

    Like

  107. My cat has also been very demanding! You are so right! It’s a message from the secret cat society! And a good one at that! Hugs and kisses to you and yours Jenny!

    Like

  108. 112
    Arthemise

    The opposite is also true. I feel secure enough to tell my loving husband when to leave me alone because I’m too aggravated to be good company. I am a lucky girl.

    Like

  109. cannot express how much i needed to hear that from someone. must. not. cry. at. work…..

    Like

  110. Hey Jenny, I agree with those advising you to take Ferris to the vet for a thorough check-up just in case. Not many folks know that when cats suddenly are needy for attention/love, it’s their way of letting you know they’re in pain or something’s not right. (They naturally go to a person who makes them feel happy and/or content cuz they’re not feeling well.)

    Like

  111. Back at ya Jenny!!!!!

    Like

  112. 116
    riyamalhotra578

    wow, love jenny.

    Like

  113. Wow Really great jenny

    Like

  114. And people say cats aren’t as smart as dogs…my three cats all have such individual personalities and ways of asking for love. I’m actually reading Furiously Happy again for around the 20th time. I just got to my favorite part where you talk about what drives us may not be what others tell us will make us happy. And what a perfect way to integrate asking for the love we want/deserve! I identify with you so much: I have an autoimmune disorder, rheumatoid arthritis, severe anxiety and depression issues. Plus a smorgasbord of other health problems. It is just really amazing to know I’m not alone. Here is to hiding from the mailman, Doctor Who days and all the spoons we can get! Xoxo thank you for being YOU

    Like

  115. 119
    Anonymous

    Maybe Ferris Mewler sensed with his kitty senses that your brain was about to be a dick to you, and he decided he needed to stay close. Preemptive pet therapy. Psychic pet therapy. Good boy!

    Like

  116. 120
    Christina Martin

    Teens are never too old to snuggle or have hugs. Mine aren’t allowed to leave the house for school each day without a hug to give them their dose of oxytocin for the day. It works. Even the 18 year old still wants them.

    Like

  117. Aww lots of love here! Nice little kitty you got though

    Like

  118. Thank you for your internet love. I’m having a shit day and I needed it.

    Like

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  119. Thank you for your internet love. I’m having a shit day and I needed it.

    Is there any way to delete the comment with my last name? The fog of depression has made me ignore auto-complete.

    Like

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