Lucky 22.

So today was my 22nd Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation treatment and it (KNOCK ON ALL THE WOOD) still seeming to be working.  If I had to guess I’d say I’m like 75% of a “normal” person and that’s a giant change for me.  I’m still tired.  I still have brain fog but not as bad.  I still have bad days.  But I’m feeling so much better.  It could go away at any point so I’m enjoying it while it’s here.

And I’m continuing to do embroidery to distract me from getting drilled in the brain and my latest one is a favorite:

(Pattern by OddAnaStitch)

Victor was impressed with my stitching but thought a cat dissection was sort of a fucked-up subject but I explained that it’s not a dissection, it’s just cat who wants a belly scratch and then you look inside the cat (metaphorically, Victor) and guess what?  Surprise!  THERE’S ANOTHER CAT IN THERE.  CATS STUFFED WITH CATS = TWICE AS CUTE.  (Unless it’s cats having sex, which is also technically cats stuffed with other cats but is less adorable and not necessarily something that should be embroidered on a pillow.  Maybe.  Depends on the pattern, I guess.)

So, long story short, I think this treatment is making me more optimistic because  if this cat is a Rorschach test I’m pretty sure I’m failing it in the best possible way.

14 more treatments to go…

111 replies. read them below or add one

  1. I love that embroidery Jenny, it fits in perfectly with how I think.
    Can you imagine having an itch that you keep scratching until you can see inside? Perfect.

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    Gaz recently posted Yummy Lummy hot and spicy cauliflower and sweet potato soup.

  2. 75%? I think you’ve topped most everyone I know.

    Like

  3. Also, LOVE your dress!

    Liked by 3 people

  4. That is an amazeballs embroidery project, but I also love your dress. Love, love, love the patterns.

    Liked by 2 people

    Stephanie Gayle recently posted Bad doppelgangers…and guilt.

  5. That’s amazing!! I am so happy for you. Cool embroidery.

    Like

  6. OMG I am so fucking happy for you.

    Like

  7. Jenny you even look different…I am so happy for you!

    Liked by 1 person

    The Hellion recently posted I HATE Autocorrect!!!.

  8. I was looking at this on a small screen and I thought it was “cat stuffed with mouse”…. but maybe that’s just me.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. This is amazing news. I’m actually very optimistic for you. Just the fact that you’re willing to give it a try means that you’re hopeful. And hopeful is the key to EVERYTHING.

    Like

    Mona Andrei (aka Moxie-Dude) recently posted My final text before I almost died.

  10. I love that your smile just keeps getting bigger… I’ve missed it! Also, OMG I NEED THAT CAT EMBROIDERY THING!!

    Like

  11. I see a cat appetizer being served on a cat-shaped table. That’s a meal nobody wants. Except maybe a very cruel dog.

    Like

  12. Sooo. Long time listener. First time caller. But this needlepoint is the first time I have actually had a modicum of inspiration to hop on the needlepoint train and has caused me to reach out in curiosity. My question is, how does one acquire such a needlepoint pattern. Hmm? Asking for a friend. A friend who is me.

    (Etsy has great weird patterns. That’s where I’ve found most of them. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 2 people

    Kristina recently posted Spicy Peach Maple infused Walnut sticks..

  13. Oops, logged in wrong. I’m at can’t remember diddly dot me.

    Like

  14. You mean you’re stitching an open, pregnant cat with only one kitten? Hmmm…

    Liked by 1 person

    Janet Coburn recently posted Retirement: Small Change for a Freelancer.

  15. You look FABULOUS!!! Love that embroidery, FUN, NOT a dissection Victor!

    Like

  16. 17
    Rebeca Ramirez

    Amazing embroidery, gorgeous dress.
    Yay to feeling better!

    Like

  17. As a biology and anatomy teacher, I completely approve of your stitchery (and want it!). 🙂 You rock! So glad you’re feeling better.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. You cat embroidery has me giggling as I sit here at my work desk sipping chai tea. Oh lordy, girl, you are hillarious.

    Like

  19. My fingers are crossed for you like they have rarely been crossed for anyone before. I hope it helps because it makes it difficult to do things that require fingers.

    Are all of these patterns from Odd Ana Stitch? You are making me want to learn how to do embroidery.

    (Not all of them but this one and the octopus girl are. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 1 person

  20. 21
    VirginiaKim

    Cat C-section

    Liked by 1 person

  21. Ooo, at first I thought it was his tummyful-of-mousie-for-lunch. And I was “COOLNESS!!” Not sure which I like better – both a bit twick & sisted 🙂 But then so am I!

    Like

  22. Cats stuffed with cats or cat cannibalism? It’s a fine line.

    Like

    theycallmetater recently posted Some Thoughts on Josh Hader.

  23. First, I love the dress you’re wearing! Second, I stared at your embroidery project for a long time before I read the rest, and I agree with Victor – fucked up! Also, my cat’s name is Rorschach and I have to pass that test every day let me tell you! Lastly, so happy to hear this therapy is working for you. I will be telling my depressed and agoraphobic sister about it. Thank you for sharing your struggle. (I think this is the first time I’ve commented but I’ve been reading your posts, and your book, for a while).

    Liked by 1 person

  24. 25
    Danielle E.

    Love the stuffed cat and love that you’re continuing to feel more normal!

    Like

  25. Look at you, all glowy and relaxed land smiling! BEAUTIFUL!

    Like

  26. Thirding? Fourthing? That I LOVE your dress…and your smile…and the cat C-section embroidery!

    Like

  27. Wonderful that you’re feeling better. I’ve just been diagnosed with Type II Diabetes which sucks but maybe once the sugars are under control my brain fog and depression will lift too. :o) Fingers crossed because I had a very bad last week.

    (Sending you love. I went from pre diabetic to normal after going low carb. Under 75 carbs or sugars a day. It was hard at first but it’s easier now. ~ Jenny)

    Liked by 1 person

    Mrs. Completely recently posted Dear Me,.

  28. You look amazing, and that means you get to embroider whatever you want!!

    Like

  29. You do realize that someone is going to send you a cat sex pattern now, right? I mean, it’s like you double dog dared us (or double cat dared us?). Glad the treatment is working. Hope it lasts forever and ever and ever.

    Liked by 2 people

    emilypageart recently posted Is This What It’s Like?.

  30. Love the embroidery and I love your dress! Is the dress from eShakti?

    (It is. It was on sale last month. Thanks! ~ Jenny)

    Like

  31. Thinking good thoughts your way!

    Like

  32. Your smile is glorious. Hope it’s here to stay! 💜

    Like

  33. Reminds me of when we dissected rats in lab and one was pregnant. Technically your cat should have a bicornuate (2-horns) uterus so she can carry kittens on both sides (imagine internal saddle bags if you will). And that’s your fact of the day. 🙂

    Like

  34. I’m pretty sure that’s a cat C-section and I hope all goes well. I can’t believe im worried about a needle point cats c-section. Also I really hope it continues to work and you make tons of needle points so I can buy one because I don’t have patience to do one myself.

    Like

  35. Thanks for sharing, Jenny! You are aglow.

    Like

    Burns the Fire recently posted All is well.

  36. I’m glad this is working for you even if it is just a little bit for a little bit because every little bit counts! QUESTION: Do these needlework patterns use just a basic running or satin stitch? Because that is pretty achievable with pretty remarkable results!

    Like

  37. I thought it was a rat inside a cat. Still symbolic but in a different way. I think you really look like you are feeling much brighter so I am thrilled that this treatment is working for you.

    Like

  38. 39
    Shannon White

    You have lovely clothes! Each time I see pictures of you you are always so nicely dressed. And you’re quite pretty my dear!!

    Like

  39. Won’t lie looked at that embroidery and thought that cat looks so damned happy to be split open! (I don’t have a normal thought pattern).

    Liked by 1 person

  40. I think it is an ultrasound of the baby kitten.

    Liked by 1 person

  41. 42
    Debra Crosby

    I love your smile, your cat, your dress, and your good news! Happiness all round. So pleased.

    Like

  42. So happy for you!

    Quick question about the embroidery: what is the green stuff inside the cat? Has it been eating grass?

    Like

  43. OK so that is a LOT cuter than when I did a rat dissection in high school anatomy and physiology and pulled out a long chain of rat fetuses (fetusi?). I thought it was the intestines at first and I was like, “Uh..teacher? This is the intestines, right?” “No..your rat was pregnant. Those are the embryonic sacs.” “Great.”

    Liked by 1 person

    mommatrek recently posted I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or barf.

  44. You are an incredible person. Keep it up and stay feeling better. You give me hope. And I really like that dress/top/whatever you’re wearing. Pretty.

    Like

  45. Cats inside cats. 75% normal and optimistic. Sounds like you’re #winning !

    Like

    Kat recently posted If You Give An Insomniac A Cookie.

  46. I love your jaunty “Neurostar” top hat. Makes you look French. I hope you continue to do so well. That makes me happy. 😊

    Like

  47. First of all, you look glorious. You look like you feel better! Secondly, peek-a-boo embroidery is the bomb. Looks like a window into a pregnant cat, kinda. Either way, it has to be making Hunter a little nervous.

    Liked by 1 person

  48. You continue to make me hopeful that somehow, some way, there is a way to fix me before the cliff gets too close and I’m once again at the edge. My balance is not so good these days.

    Like

    ReallyLoriRose recently posted See the light, maybe..

  49. 50
    Janet Schaefer

    WHERE did you get that embroidery pattern, or did you design that yourself? It’s brilliant!

    Like

  50. I just scrolled back through your posts to look at your photos from when you started this brain zap journey, and can see a real difference. You have a light in your eyes that was absent before. I am so very happy for you. I hope this treatment works miracles and you are “normal” for a good, long time. Maybe even forever. (I know you said it wouldn’t, but that won’t stop me hoping for the best for you.)

    Like

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  51. Jenny. This is the most awesome embroidery project ever. What do you do with these once they are completed? You have encouraged me to start needlework again but not sure what I’d do with these when done.

    Also, I love you. Thank you so much for sharing this journey with us. I’m bipolar II amd frequently want to throw myself off the roof despite being on multiple antidepressants (especially this day and age) and this whole thing has given me so. Much. Hope.

    Like

  52. 53
    JenniferNennifer

    happiness all around

    Like

  53. Hey Jenny. That “anonymous” comment above was mine. No shame in my game, just forgot to log in. thanks for all you do to make our lives better, faster, stronger. xo

    Like

  54. 75% looks great on you! So does your dress.

    Like

    Mamacita recently posted 3 Minute Eggs.

  55. Aww, Jenny, you look so great! You are always a beautiful woman, but there’s a new look to you and I am sending all my best good luck mojo for this to continue to be your reality.
    And, ….the way you wear a dress makes me want to start wearing dresses myself………
    I wouldn’t look as good as you do (I am too thin), but what the heck, maybe I’ll do it anyway. 🙂

    Like

  56. I also thought it was a cat with a mouse in its belly!!
    Your eyes look happy.

    Like

  57. 58
    jenine1012

    It’s CATception! That is so awesome! You find the very best things. I’m so happy you are feeling better. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  58. Best embroidery project EVAH!!!! I need to break out my hoops.

    Like

  59. I need that as a pattern!

    Like

  60. It might be difficult to embroider the noise of cat sex. But someone should give it a try.

    Liked by 1 person

  61. 62
    CreatingTheRoad

    So will this TMS stuff give you urges to go to medical school? Or to get kittens? Either way.

    Like

  62. That’s a cat baring it’s heart and soul to you. It’s a metaphor.

    Like

  63. So… next time I feel the urge to say, “Embroider that shit on a pillow,” I should probably make sure you’re not nearby, or I’ll end up with a needlework turd on a couch cushion.

    Which I would of course cherish forever anyway.

    Like

    OwnLessDoMore recently posted WheRVe we been? Our travels, 2nd quarter 2018.

  64. You know, of course, that there’s plenty of embroidery that does exactly what you describe. So
    So glad the TMS seems to be working. Keep at it!

    Like

  65. You are amazing! Thank you for sharing this traumatic and (fingers crossed) helpful treatment. Please be well. I thought the embroidery was a cat C-section. hahahahaha!

    Liked by 1 person

  66. I’m having TMS right now too… But they just have a magnet and a piece of paper, no fancy headgear like you!

    Like

  67. That is SO awesome! I love to see you smile!

    Like

  68. 75% is a good per cent!
    Also you are a speed demon with your needlework; what magic is this?

    Like

    Apostrophe T recently posted Coupons Are Not Hand Grenades.

  69. Sending you love! You rule!

    Like

  70. 71
    Peggy Shattuck

    I’ve been reading you for a very, very long time and have never commented—you are an amazing, hysterical writer and a very courageous person and I KNOW everything is going to be wonderful for you. Keep the faith , baby….
    Minnesota reader

    Like

  71. Whatever keeps you smiling like that. The machine looks like a high tech fascinator , add a veil maybe some feathers.
    https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2018/07/14/selfie-with-cat/

    Liked by 1 person

  72. Jenny, you may have inspired me to take up embroidery!!!

    ps: so glad that your treatments continue to show great improvement. It makes me so happy to see your gorgeous smile!

    Like

    LadyPamelaRose recently posted What It Memes To Have Chronic Pain.

  73. You look so beautiful in this photo, even with that contraption strapped to your head. 💖💖💖

    Like

  74. Or, and I’m just gonna put this wild idea out there, the cat is preggers??? Lol.

    Like

  75. It makes me so happy to see all these posts!! Keep them coming!!

    Like

  76. 77
    Jeff Magnani

    So happy for you Jenny. I think often how you said in a previous post that we’re worth it too, “so fight.” And I am. And also embracing my family and community. Wishing you a clear head and good vibes.

    Like

  77. My mom bought my sister one of thos at mugs
    That looked Adorable from a distance and then if you actually looked at it you noticed that it was a very imaginative very
    Comprehensive cat orgy. So from
    The right angle even ate stuffed with cats-still adorable.

    Like

  78. Love your dress/ top in this pic! So happy for you. It is amazing coming out of the darkness, isn’t it? It’s like you’ve had the flu for forever and then suddenly you realize you can breathe through your nose again, and food has a taste again and you appreciate all of those things that healthy people do every day. Hoping you continue to see life in color ❤️

    Like

  79. 80
    Fearful Fantasy

    75% is amazing progress! I’m so happy and also a teeny, tiny bit jealous. I don’t think I’d qualify for this treatment sadly, not broken enough for them (though it feels like plenty to me), but you give me hope Jenny! You are blazing a trail forward and hopefully many others will be able to follow your path! ❤

    Like

  80. I’m so glad it’s helping.

    Like

  81. I’m so glad to hear the treatment is working! To feel normal again is so nice.

    Like

  82. It’s been awhile since I laughed until I had tears in my eyes. That cat embroidery is just so hilariously wrong…

    Like

  83. 84
    Mary Nicosia

    I’ve been reading you for a long time, but this is my first time to comment. I wanted to say your smile looks beautiful and genuine. I can tell by your face, the light in your eyes that you’re feeling better, you actually look happy. fingers crossed!

    Like

  84. So glad the treatments are helping & your embroidery is awesome!!!! You look happy!!!

    Like

  85. This one made me smile big time. I look forward to seeing more of your chosen patterns!

    Like

    Jenny Bristol recently posted Announcing My Latest Book, Wisdom from Mom!.

  86. Gah, this is the best is so many ways!!

    Like

  87. What is not cute about that? A mommy cat needing some extra tummy scratches, because, look! She’s preggers! I totally relate. Meow.

    Like

  88. I am so happy the treatments are working.
    You look beautiful and your dress is awesome.
    At first glance I thought the embroidery picture was Rory.
    We could use this in our cat anatomy class.

    No this comment isn’t a poem. It is just so disjointed I needed to put it all on separate lines.

    Like

  89. I’m so glad it’s helping you, even if it’s just a little bit. I always get excited about amount of improvement. Haha.

    Like

    tiredmomreading recently posted This Is Insanity.

  90. Wait a minute. Cats don’t usually put up with belly rubs… OH, MY GOD, THIS REALLY IS A CAT DISSECTION.

    The little gut-cat is pretty adorable, though.

    Like

    Thomas (MJ) recently posted Oh, Baby, You’re So Queercore.

  91. 92
    Remy Tankel-Carroll

    I love reading the updates on your treatments and I’m very glad they’re working for you. Looking at this picture and thinking back to the earliest pictures you posted, the change is dramatic. You look so happy now. I hope these results last far beyond the treatments. And I hope you never stop doing embroidery. You’re extremely talented with it. Just tell Victor it’s not a dissection; it’s a caesarian. 🙂 I can’t wait to see what you come up with next!

    Like

  92. I thought it was a kitty who ate a rat that was too big so it had to be surgically removed…

    Liked by 1 person

    Kristy recently posted Fireweed Watch, July 16.

  93. 94
    Carol Anne Fusco

    Congratulations on feeling better AND on looking absolutely beautiful with all that equipment on your head!

    Like

  94. Oh, my God! You are so f’inging funny! I am so, so happy your treatment is helping you!!! I love you, Jenny. Thanks for making my day so much better. You don’t know how much you mean to me. Travel on, girl! 🙃

    Like

  95. Sorry. That’s totally a cat stuffed with a baby opossum.

    Liked by 1 person

  96. I have to agree with Victor that it looks like a dissection… but I disagree that it’s fucked-up. It’s more like the COOLEST embroidery ever! Also, for someone who is into taxidermied animals, images of dissected animals are 100% appropriate. I would hang a whole series of embroidered animal dissections on my wall. Each one should have a treat on the inside – a baby animal or a shoe the dog ate, or a salmon inside a bear…

    Liked by 1 person

  97. I am SO happy to hear the TMS is working for you! Hubby also has med resistant depression and we are working to get him approved for the same treatment. 😀
    Also, LOVE that stitching! hahaha! It’s so you! ❤ ya hon!

    Like

  98. SO VERY HAPPY TMS IS WORKING FOR YOU!!!!

    Like

  99. Jenny,

    So very happy for you that these treatments are working. Currently I am having the worst year of my entire life and my depression is at an all time high. This round the saying on repeat is “you have no value” instead of “everyone would be better off without you.” I know my brain is lying to me and that is what is keeping me going. Thanks for listening.

    Maureen

    Liked by 1 person

  100. That’s so amazing! Quite an inspiring story, I’d say. Thanks for sharing with us!

    Like

  101. 102
    Monique in TX

    So glad the treatments are helping you!
    Have you thought about stitching up one of the wonderful designs from your coloring book?

    Like

  102. 103
    Monique in TX

    I want to see you stitch up one of your coloring book designs

    Liked by 1 person

  103. 104
    Anonymous

    I have followed you for a while. First through books, then your blog. While I will always prefer books I’ve taken to the blog because I have health problems too. So I can relate. I’m currently on 27 pills. 2 are voluntary. I find myself jealous of your life. Because you may have all the pain and anxiety and depression I have, you also have a family. I will never get to experience that. I’m not feeling very articulate. Might be the pills or the fact I just had surgery and ripped my stitches or maybe it’s because no matter what I try my depression never lifts for long. People keep thinking I’m joking when I ask if they still do lobotomies. There’s no point in this comment. I just wanted to let out a teeny tiny bit of the darkness so maybe I could breath a little better. Even for a minute.
    Anyway, nice cross stitch. If I ever get back use of my hands I really want to try it.
    Jeannie. Rubyeatsearth@gmail.com

    Liked by 1 person

  104. I saw a rat tonight on my rabbits’ porch, which sent me upstairs for a stray 5 mg valium that didn’t help much, but somehow this post did.

    Thanking you gratefully, Jenny… and more importantly… I see in your expression a qualitative, chemical shift!

    Liked by 1 person

  105. Vivisection or kittensection?

    Like

  106. you look 10 years younger in this photo. Having the weight of depression slowly lift is making your skin glow and your face look so young. Amazing and beautiful! congrats!

    Like

  107. I’m dying over the embroidery. Do you buy these patterns on Etsy or something? I wish I could see doing this pattern to freak my husband out, too. 😀

    Like

  108. That embroidery is straight up amazing! I wish I had the time and patience to learn embroidery. Good luck with the brain! 🙂

    Like

  109. I’m so happy for you! You are so creative!

    Like

  110. I just found your blog and I think I’m going to enjoy reading it! I love cats but I think that’s one of the best embroideries I’ve ever seen!!

    Like

    bougeotte04 recently posted Busy Fingers.

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