Snippet of a conversation I had with Hailey’s great-grandmother on Thanksgiving:
Great Meemaw: So then we dug up the rest of the body and took him home to daddy.
Me: So you…brought a dead body home to your father…for Easter?
Great meemaw (disturbingly matter-of-fact): Yep.
I’d share the rest of this conversation with you but I’m saving it for my memoirs.
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Updated to add, um…no, ya’ll. It was not an animal. It was a very human corpse. Digging up a pet turtle is not be memoir worthy. Kids carrying dead bodies home to their daddy and storing the corpse in the potting shed for decades? That’s memoir worthy.
{ 43 comments… read them below or add one }
Dug up the *rest* of the body? It uh wasn’t all together?
Put it in what?
Jenny, that’s got to be some story! And I have to wait how long for the memoirs?
It might beat the “my greatx3-grandmother was an axe murderer” story.
Julie
Using My Words
OMG, it isn’t the fact that your great-grandmother is a grave robber that freaks me out…it is the fact that someone else in the universe calls their grandmother “Meemaw!” I thought my children were the only ones!
Was it her daddy’s pet? am I right? Please?????
Sorry Sandy, but no. The body was very, very human.
Julie, you great, great, great grandmother was a murderer? So was my great, great uncle! No wonder we get along so well.
Ah, holidays! So much to discover….about your gory forefathers….
You are by far the most interesting person I have ever read.
I’m totally jealous.
Your family is awesome. End of story.
…because on Easter, he would rise again? I’m just asking, was that supposed to be part of the reasoning here?
Welcome to the fast lane to therapy.
..did it… smell..?
family can be better than cable tv.
but more expensive.
and there’s no mute button.
I am so curious as to which parts….
And that is how your father learned to love taxidermy.
…bless her pea-pickin’, grave-robbin’ heart…
Right over the mashed potatoes and gravy, there is no better convo you could have.
I… yeah. I’ll wait for the memoirs. But I do think I’d like to have a beer with Great Meemaw
Ah yes…reminds me of an Easter conversation w/ my Grandma one year. This was eons ago, I was still in college and somebody had brought up a Spring Break/Florida story they’d seen on the news. I believe it was about the ready availability of profilactics. (why we were discussing this at the Easter table is a whole nutha topic)
Me: Can you believe it? They were passing these things out on the beach?
Grandma: Oh, I know. They’re wonderful. Especially if you get one that’s kept real clean. Dad and I use the same one every year.
(blink, blink) (pause)
Me: (through the mashed potatoes stuck in my throat) Uh…condoms Gram, not Condos.
Dude! We have to talk! I have a “rest of the body” story too. Only I’m not sure there’s a statute of limitations….
oh boy… you were my last read for the night. Now I will have bad dreams of great mee maw and her shovel.
Wow, that completely puts my 5th “grammie” of Grandpa Causey in perspective(3 and 4 were the same woman, I think). She has a collection of “tar baby” dolls that she keeps shiny with Endust, and she will announce this at the top of her freaking lungs in the subway in Boston surrounded by people who will beat the crap out of me for her saying this. But I’m pretty sure she would have told me about any exhumations by now….ooh, also, I’m sure you are already aware, but Amy Sedaris’s brother David wrote a really cool book called (I think)”Me Talk Pretty Some Day” which describes Amy at length. Including her purchase of half a fat suit. Y’know, for your serial killer thing/ stalker thing with her…
Johanna, it was actually because of the fat suit story that I fell in love with Amy. The fact that she’s a great writer is just a bonus to her bizarreness that made me want to stalk her.
Robin – I’m still giggling.
Lawyermama – We need to have drinks. Again.
I bet it’s a good one! Let me know when the memoirs are published! I think your work is fascinating, as it is! and I’d love to read it if it were published!
Sweet Jebus! Let’s just hope it was a pet turtle they dug up and not a…human body.
Oh, and babe, I gave you a little present on my blog. Because I heart you so much.
OH boy – would I love to be a fly on your wall during THanksgiving dinner with Great Grandmama!
i’m not sure i’m going to heal up and hair over from this one….
p.s. i hate that you are mere minutes from me and i’m not seeing you!!!
That sounds like a conversation Bossy had over thanksgiving, but it wasn’t about digging up dead bodies, it was about digging up past grievances. Does that count?
Hmmmm… My favorite Thanksgiving Comment this year was from my grandmother as well…
Grandma: “Well, you know – Andrea’s husband does as much of the cooking as she does. Can you IMAGINE!”
Isn’t family FUN? In her defense, her chicken and stuffing is like no other.
Well, if you’re going to bring a dead body home for a holiday, Easter is obviously the appropriate choice.
Gah – your killing me! You have to write your book already!
Would the phrase, “Only in Texas” apply here?
I think your Great Meemaw dug up MY Great Meemaw.
Where can I advance order this book?
And why do I feel like this explains so much?
Yeah, Jesus. What kittenpie said.
How nice for her to bring her father a present. I am sure it has some significance that it’s for Easter, right??
I dig this story. Dig!? Get it?! Haw-haw! (kill me)
I am breathless waiting for the rest of this story!! You must tell! TELL!
I’m ready for that memoir. When can I get my hands on that bad boy?
I want the memoirs , just cracking up over the post
the potting shed?
Jenny,
My mother, sandy of myanderings, turned me on to your blog some time ago and i love it. Since you have such an unusally morbid (in a cute way) view of things, i just had to tag you, so tag your it. See my blog (the post titled ‘School of Hard Knocks’) for directions. Cant wait to read it.
Julie (who played with dead animals as a child)