This week on Ask the Bloggess:
- And that’s why I’m so glad we won the Revolutionary War.
- Apparently you actually *can* be too good at blow jobs.
This week on my sex column (which is satirical and vaguely safe for work if your boss isn’t a total douche canoe):
- The chick I was supposed to interview never showed up so I just made up all her answers. This is exactly what professional journalists do in this situation.
This week on the internets:
- Nothing really.
This week on shit-I-didn’t-write-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:
- Right about the 40 second mark I start giggling uncontrollably and then feel really, really bad. Then I laugh more.
- Nine words that don’t mean what you think they mean.
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Oh my gosh, I’m actually crying from the drunk guy! Now I’m going to hell for laughing at drunk people.
Katie´s last blog ..Monsters, blogosphere, monsters?
in efforts to find new blogging resources, i came across this:
http://www.squidoo.com/funnyblogs
you’re numba eight!
Oh no. I think I’m guity of screwing up all nine of those words. Well, unless I totally misunderstand what the word “guilty” means, too.
Holy crap that was funny! Some people just don’t know when to say “when”. I too was giggling, then the tears started to flow and I couldn’t breathe…I think I may have peed myself a little I was laughing so hard…
That was horrible. And you’re horrible for making me laugh at the guy who’s so drunk at 10:40 on a Tuesday morning. {giggle}
I’m pissed that I had to miss the BWE this weekend and the chance to see you hitting the bottle on stage (rumor or true?) And also, I’m interviewing you for my new women’s empowerment site (you just don’t know it yet.) I’m using my Jedi mind powers on you right now so just nod and say “Yes, Kadi.”
And Cindy, it is perfectly okay that you peed yourself laughing. I crapped myself during a bout of stomach flu this week if that helps make you feel better. Nuff said.
Kadi Prescott´s last blog ..Preparing To Bloom
I’m sorry, but the safety word is always meatloaf. You might actually need a tangerine in *those* situations.
Your “Ask the Bloggess” column in particular is quickly becoming *the* inexhaustible source of wisdom for me and my support group.
Daphne Ling´s last blog ..The *terrible* twos
Great. I’ve been using 8 of those 9 words wrong all my life. Way to make me feel like an idiot first thing Monday morning.
Kathy´s last blog ..Bent Objects, The Book!
I love how drunk guy has a death grip on the beer and WILL NOT LET GO to try to get up.
Actually looks like he is attempting some kind of extreme yoga moves…
When I have overindulged, I just give up at the point where I go to brush something off of my shoulder, and it’s the floor.
Linnnn´s last blog ..Blitz, Boo-yah, Spartacus and The Statue Man
Sex workers must be brilliant, because they use words like “lepidopterist.” Me, on the other hand, would say “bug dude.” Therefore, I’m too dumb to have sex. Case closed.
Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Where’s your sense of adventure?
At least the store didn’t sell him the beer!
tokenblogger´s last blog ..Getting back into BlogapaLOSEa…
Man… I mean… WOW. That dude was so drunk I started to think maybe he actually had cerebal palsy! Then I got all sad for him cuz everyone thought he was drunk, but he was just trying to get some bezos to ease the pain and embarrassment of having cerebal palsy and having people always think you’re drunk. (But I still giggled first.)
Inconceivable! Other misused words that drive me nuts: literally, towards, and lay. Lay the gun down gently and go lie on the floor, please.
Edgy Mama´s last blog ..Weekly parent: All hail “Wimpy Kid”
Oh. My. God.
I’m really, really, really hoping he was just drunk … because if he had some actual disability that contributed to his behavior, then I would feel like an asshole for getting such enjoyment out of all 242 seconds of that video.
Daddy Scratches´s last blog ..Howzabout we just pretend I never said anything, and you can all crawl back into the sewer?
I’m so excited/awesome/proud because I just read the nine words article and I totally used “nonplussed” correctly in my blog yesterday. So I’m either really awesome or really geeky but it’s my blog so I’m gonna go with awesome! Yay me!
♥Spot
Spot´s last blog ..Should have stayed in bed…
When drunk guy gets busted by peeky old guy and tries to look like he’s cool, like he totally means to be sitting there lounging in the beer aisle, his legs crossed and his hands on his knees like he’s in his study smoking a pipe, and he flips his hand up by the wrist as if to say “Oh hi, no no, I’m good, carry on then…” Man oh man. I think I gave myself the flu laughing so hard.
Steam me up, kid´s last blog ..This post is a hot mess just fine post. Look away at the words. (I decided I don’t like the term "hot mess". It’s hurtful. I’ve heard.)
I actually thought that I’ve been drunk before, but apparently, I was very, very wrong. His frustration with being stuck on the ground for so long was my favorite, and I’m amazed at how well it translated through the security-cam video for all the world to see.
Faith´s last blog ..We kinda hate our vet.
When I was 17 my boyfriend said “irregardless” to me and I told him it wasn’t a word. A two hour argument ensued, and I eventually relented because he was probably smarter than me.
I’m pretty sure he has a PhD now, and I work in a grocery store, but I am definitely waaaay smarter.
I just wasted 30 perfectly good work minutes on those Non-Photoshopped pictures. And it was a perfectly good waste of time. Hilarious, especially how many times the writer found pecker-looking objects in the photos.
lynn @ human, being´s last blog ..Pharley is gone
wait, wait, I mean the 9 words thing, which then took me to the 17 photos you won’t believe aren’t Photoshopped. Shit, I guess I wasted 45 minutes. WooT
lynn @ human, being´s last blog ..Pharley is gone
You are an awethome keynote speaker!
And I felt like screaming watching the drunk dood constantly falling backward…screaming!
Stephanie´s last blog ..la de da de da
You know if I have asked you once I must have asked you a thousand times to PLEASE STOP POSTING VIDEOS OF ME DRUNK.
A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..Simple Joy Sunday, #3
Also it is a little know fact that bowls really can’t really hold you up when you are tumbling backwards into a shelf of pickles.
A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..Simple Joy Sunday, #3
this makes me want to sing the horse pop song.
http://getonmyhorse.com/