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The Haunted Dollhouse, final reveal!

Today is Halloween – my favorite holiday of the year – so today I’m celebrating by showing you the final room of my dollhouse.  Thank you for humoring me with my super weird obsession.  Click here to see all the other rooms.

The outside (with Rolly) for scale:

Click to embiggen

One day when I have more time I’m going to make a full list of all of the horror/fantasy allusions in the house, but a few of the nods in this floor are from: Walking Dead, Sleepy Hollow, Wizard of Oz, Hamlet, Addams Family, King Arthur, A Rose for Emily, Moulin Rouge, Labyrinth, Game of Thrones, Egyptian Book of the Dead, Chronicles of Narnia, The Bell Witch, Dungeons & Dragons, Alien Autopsy, Corpse Bride, Dracula, Silver Bullet, Monkey’s Paw, Peter Pan, Snow White, Exorcist, Freaks, Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, The Shining, Stardust, Jurassic Park, Tiffany Aching, Sleeping Beauty, Alfred Hitchcock, The Changeling, Read Window, Sherlock Holmes.

I still have a lot more to do.  Maybe next Halloween it’ll be done.  But somehow I doubt that.

A few videos on instagram:

Halloween means the final dollhouse reveal. (More pics on the blog.)

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The final room of the dollhouse. Happy Halloween, y'all.

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Haunted dollhouse, part 4

ONE DAY UNTIL HALLOWEEN.  And three rooms left to show you of my miniature haunted dollhouse.  If this all seems confusing go to this link to see all of the haunted dollhouse posts.

I was going to show my favorite room today but I’m still working on a piece so instead I’ll show you that tomorrow.  Instead, today I’ll show you the attic and the rooftop conservatory.  Ready?

The attic:

Click to embiggen.

The dollhouse in the back is the exact replica of this dollhouse. It’s one of my favorite things.

The conservatory:

I was going to list all of the horror/fantasy references in these rooms but actually I sort of love watching you guys identify them because then I feel like slightly less of a freak for this obsession.

A few videos for a closer look.

Haunted dollhouse countdown. The attic and conservatory.

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Haunted dollhouse. The roof. Tomorrow? We explore the third floor.

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Recognize anything?

Haunted dollhouse, part 3

Building up to Halloween I’ve been revealing room in my horror/fantasy inspired dollhouse.  If you missed the first ones then start here to see the kitchen and casting room and then go here for the tarot card room.  Today I’m showing you the study and the secret room and then we’ll be halfway through.

It’s still unfinished so ignore the rough edges.

Click to embiggen

Behind the potions cabinet is a secret door. (Don’t blink.)

I added five new things to this room this week from your suggestions, including the yellow wallpaper in the secret room.  I’m not sure I got the smear quite right.  Please keep the suggestions coming because they are brilliant.  10 points to whoever can identify all the allusions in this room.

PS. A video of with the door open and another with the door closed:

Haunted dollhouse, part 3.

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Haunted dollhouse, part 2.

Yesterday I shared the first room of my haunted dollhouse and you gave me some INCREDIBLE ideas I’m working on, so keep them coming.  Today I’m showing you the tarot card room.

Click to embiggen

PS.  I made the Babadook book last night and it isn’t perfect but since the original wasn’t either I’m giving myself time to warm up to it.

Day two. Room 2. The haunted dollhouse tour continues.

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Haunted dollhouse…an update. Part 1.

I’ve been working on building a haunted dollhouse for like 14 years.  The dollhouse itself took more than a year and I’ve been adding furniture and such ever since.  It’s an homage to all the horror and fantasy books and movies that I’ve loved and at this point I’ve lost track of all the allusions, but I was thinking that since it’s almost Halloween I’d show you a few shot of the house this week:  All I have is my phone so the photos are a bit shitty.  Sorry.

Today, the bottom floor.

Click to enlarge.

Want to help?  Tell me your favorite horror/fantasy book or movie.  I need inspiration.

More to come.  Hopefully I can find my real camera so the shots aren’t so crappy.

My haunted dollhouse. The lowest floor.

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The Haunted Dollhouse

This post isn’t funny, and I apologize for that, but it’s not sad either, so I think we’re even.

If you don’t like Halloween, miniatures, or horror books you should just skip this post.  Seriously.

If you’re a long-term reader you already know that I’ve been slowly building a haunted dollhouse for the last eleven years.

It’s filled with references to horror/fantasy books and movies that made me the possibly-twisted person I am today, and every year around Halloween I give an update showing the latest pictures.  This year, however, I’ve been fighting off a bit of depression (which is exactly why I love to make tiny bottles of bezoars or miniature Victorian vampire killing kits, so I can escape from reality when I need to) so I haven’t been up to writing anything about it yet.  Luckily, I didn’t have to, because other sweet people did it for me.

Click here to check out the slideshow on Kirtsy featuring all of my very latest dollhouse pics.

And then click here to see even more on HGTV.

Happy Halloween, y’all.

PS.  I have allusions to hundreds of books and movies in the dollhouse, but I always worry that I’m missing some.  Leave me a comment with the horror/fantasy books that made your mind change in fabulous ways and I’ll check them out.


You guys.  Just…NO.  Okay, I started this on twitter a few minutes ago but it got too long so I’m moving it here.  Twitter is backward so go to the bottom of the image and read upward until you’re caught up.  I’ll meet you at the bottom.

So of course Victor is out of town because that’s what happens when a plague of rats strikes so I called our exterminator and was like, “I think I have lawn gerbils?” and I described them and she was like, “Girl, you got rats” and I was like, “THIS NEVER HAPPENED WHEN OBAMA WAS PRESIDENT” and she was all, “Um…ma’am?” and I apologized and told her I had a lot of other things going on and she was like, “Whatever, crazy” but in a nice way.

So she said that they could help but that it’s hard for them to catch rats outside and that I might want to try it myself with rat traps and I was like, “But I don’t want to kill them.  Can’t you just live trap them?” and she was like, “For rats?  No.  We do that for squirrels and skunks and such, but we’re not going to trap and relocate rats.  That’s just going to cause problems for someone else” and that’s true but it would create more business for them although in a shitty way, and I applaud them for being ethical but still wish they could remove these guys without hurting them.  Then she told me that there was a poison that dehydrates the rats and makes them leave to look for creeks, but they’re in a bush right next to the pool so basically I’d have a lot of plague rats swimming in my pool and frankly that seems worse for everyone.

Also, she was like, “Do you have any birdseed out there, or nuts that are attracting them?” and that seemed like victim blaming but I explained that I didn’t and she explained that THEY EAT DOG POOP.  WTF.  And that both super grossed me out and made me really reconsider luring them inside to train them and put circus clothes on them because ew, but also it seems sort of beneficial?  Like when you find a snake in your yard and you don’t kill it because it eats worse snakes?  So I asked the lady if I could just let them stay and she was like, “NOOOO.  THEY WILL GET IN YOUR HOUSE AND CHEW UP YOUR WIRES,” but probably not if I give them a dollhouse filled with food on the back porch and I could hear the lady shaking her head and she was like, “Listen. Just get some traps and see if you can catch them.  For some reason rats really like cherry starbursts” and I was all, “I REALLY LIKE CHERRY STARBURSTS” and they just got even more human to me.  But then I remembered that I actually like strawberry starbursts and the cherry ones taste like poison, so then it was less awful, but then I thought that if I did make friends with the rats they could eat all my cherry starbursts.  You can see my predicament.

PS.  The pest control lady could not see my predicament.  I assume because she doesn’t have my imagination or my access to tiny rat-sized clothing.

PPS.  This sucks.

PPPS.  This post brought to you by Starburst!  Kidding.  Don’t sue me, Starburst. The rats started this.  Not me.




Creepy doll challenge…phase 1. (UPDATED WITH PHASE 3)

A couple of weeks ago I challenged my friend (and fellow collector of creepy dolls) Bonnie to see who could rework this doll into the creepiest thing possible and now I’m ready to share my first variation.

In fairness, with the right lighting and filter it was already a little creepy:

But I thought I could go further.  So I added a few things.  Like a claw made of old erasers, a hand made of bark, another doll I repainted for her to hold, and a cat skeleton.  And some ruffles.

Work in progress…

Not a real cat skeleton. Thought I should clarify since I’m me.

Antiqued it a bit.  The end.

Then Victor and Hailey were like, “Not really creepy enough.  You didn’t do anything to her face” but I think that’s the creepy part.  They disagreed so I decided to make a stop-motion video to convince them.

They still don’t think it’s creepy enough because I think maybe I’ve immunized them with repeated exposure to weirdness so I’ll keep working on it and keep you posted.

PS.  I’ve seen other people talking about doing their own so if you decide to make a creepy doll post it in the comments because I totally want to see it.

UPDATE:  Consensus is that the face isn’t creepy enough so I’ve tried again:

#creepydollchallenge Details on the blog.

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What do you think?  Better?


Several of you noted that her hair was too “perky” to be scary so now one of my other dolls is bald so this could happen:


Also, several of you have pointed out that she might always look a little too lovable to some of us because (as a misfit toy) she fits in our community very well and the more broken I make her, the more relatable she becomes, turning her into more of a mascot than a massacre.  Others would like me to stop posting creepy doll pictures so that they can start sleeping again.  Fair enough on both counts.


And now…time for the weekly wrap-up!



Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):


This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Story Worth, which is a pretty awesome idea  I’m going to try myself.  From them:”This year, give Mom a StoryWorth Book to preserve her stories. Each week, we’ll email her a question about her life – asking her to recount her favorite memory of her grandparents, or whether she’s ever pulled any great pranks. All she has to do is reply with a story, which is forwarded to you and any other family members you invite. At the end of the year, her stories are bound in a beautiful keepsake book your family will cherish!”  Check it out here.

Sometimes it’s easier to just burn down your house and start anew.

You know what you should do when your house is messy?  Burn it to the ground and salt the earth so nothing can ever grow there again.  Or just get a second house.

I can’t afford either of those things so instead Hailey and I built a tiny house.  And by “built a tiny house” I mean we went to park and made a house for fairies.  But just the outside because architecture is hard when you’re squatting in what might be poison oak or might just be really itchy leaves you’re allergic to.  Regardless, my house is still a bit messy but at least it’s not built on poison oak or giving me a rash.  So all things considered, things are pretty good.




Click here for the video tour.

PS. Some of you have asked for a tour of the real, haunted dollhouse I’ve been making for the last 12 years.  Working on it.

Leaving magic behind. Or litter. Depends on who is looking, really.

If you’ve read here before you may know that I often leave handmade, tiny ferris wheels or miniature houses on sidewalks or in trees for kids to find, like a lazy Boo Radley.  Yesterday Hailey and I took this to a new level when we decided to make a small fairy room in the park nearby.  The park is filled with trees and it always seems a bit magical so finding fairies there wouldn’t be out of the question:

Hailey, listening for fairies. Also, playing Pokemon Go. We're mult-taskers.

Hailey, listening for fairies. Also, playing Pokemon Go. We’re multi-taskers.

I pulled out a chair from my dollhouse and a tiny book that I’d made and we came up with this:

Screen Shot 2016-08-14 at 11.11.45 PM

A closer look.

A closer look.

And it went well aside from one guy who came up on us and was like, “ARE YOU TOUCHING BIRDS?” which is a weird thing to say because WHY WOULD WE TOUCH BIRDS?  WHAT SORT OF WILD BIRDS LET YOU TOUCH THEM?  And also WHY ARE WE YELLING?  So we told him that, no, we were not touching birds (because that would be weird and this isn’t a disney cartoon).  We were creating a reading nook for tired fairies who needed to chill.  And he seemed confused (and maybe disappointed?) and left.

The tree is on the backside of a hiking trail and not very easy to spot but I assumed it would be gone (or smashed to the ground by angry squirrels) by today but this morning we hiked into the woods and instead we found that others had added to it.

Screen Shot 2016-08-14 at 11.12.31 PM

The thing on the left is a seed pod, I think?

And it reminded me of the magic of small things, and of hope and silliness, and made me feel a bit brighter so I thought I’d share it with you.

PS.  Don’t touch birds.  I don’t even know why I’m having to clarify this but if you  can touch a bird that’s a pretty good indicator that the bird is very sick and doesn’t want you poking at it.  Except once my uncle found a talking bird that followed him around the backyard while he was mowing and turns out it was someone’s pet parrot who needed help.  So I guess it’s okay to touch birds if they can specifically ask you for it.  Or if the bird is being a real asshole is attacking your dog.  Then you can hit it with a shovel.  That’s why I carry a shovel when I walk Dorothy Barker because suddenly there are birds of prey all over my neighborhood and my dog isn’t your snack, birds.  I mean, I super love birds but I will take a motherfucker down if they fuck with my puppy.  That’s just how I roll, birds.

PPS.  Sorry.  Got off on a tangent there.  Stop thinking about birds eating dogs.  Go back to the happy, whimsical fairy thoughts.  Much better.  Sorry.  Those birds are assholes.

PPS. A few people were asking how to make the tiny books so I made a tiny tutorial here.