The last 24 hours have been weird and so I don’t have time to write a full post because I’m too busy building a basement to hide in so instead I’ll just share my tweets from last night:
Not sure if that was a mountain lion or an enormous yellow lab chasing that deer but we’ll be discontinuing our twilight dog walks for now.
Related: Screaming “RUN TO THE HOUSE” at your kid while waving your arms to appear larger will make your neighbors run in their houses too.
Texas wildlife is unsettling. 2 months ago Dorothy Barker and I were out at night & a howler monkey screamed at me & I almost shit myself.
…And Victor was all “THERE ARE NO HOWLER MONKEYS IN TEXAS” and I was like “I KNOW WHAT A HOWLER MONKEY SOUNDS LIKE, VICTOR.”
But apparently I don’t because later I found out it was a fox screaming.
But there’s a primate sanctuary for retired entertainment monkeys close to our house so it wasn’t ENTIRELY unlikely that I was wrong.
Or maybe it was a fox screaming because she saw a howler monkey. I don’t know. I’m not a nature expert.
Then last night we had bad storms come through and kept losing power but this morning it looked fine except for a few downed limbs but I was still freaked out about the possible cougar that might just be a dog/monkey/large squirrel so Hailey and I decided to take Dorothy Barker to the park to run around, but on the way we ran into this:
First cougars. Now floods. I can only assume the plague of locusts are on their way. Possibly they’re swimming. Hard to tell with locusts.
UPDATED: I’ve just been informed that raining frogs comes before the plague of locusts. Then the squirrelpocolypse. Then zombies. Then zombie squirrels riding mountain lions covered in locusts.
Be careful out there, y’all.
UPDATED AGAIN: Apparently I’m the second person in my subdivision to see a mountain lion this week. Fuck this. I’m just going to make a dog park in the living room.
And now, our weekly wrap-up. Buckle-up, Buttercup.
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
Shit you should buy or steal because it’s awesome:
- It is ridiculous how much Hailey loves this bank. The kitty peeks out and steals the coin. Then Hailey opens up the bottom and steals the coin right back. That’s not how banks are supposed to work, I think, but she’s happy.
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