Category Archives: Random Crap

If it’s Thursday this must be New York.

Today is the sixth stop on my book tour for YOU ARE HERE: An Owner’s Manual for Dangerous Minds and I am in New York!

Come see me.  Please?

It’s at 7pm at Housing Works.

Next stop?  California!

If it’s Wednesday this must be Pennsylvania.

Today is the fifth stop on my book tour for YOU ARE HERE: An Owner’s Manual for Dangerous Minds and I am in Philadelphia!

Come see me.  Please?

It’s at 7pm at Barnes & Noble.

Next stop?  New York City!

If it’s Monday this must be Kentucky.

Today is the fourth stop on my book tour for YOU ARE HERE: An Owner’s Manual for Dangerous Minds and I am in Louisville, Kentucky.  They can’t fit us all in the bookstore so it’s going to be at the Tim Faulkner Gallery.  There is a ticket fee since they have to rent a gallery.  Click here for info.

Come see me.  Please?

It’s 7pm at Tim Faulkner Gallery.

Next stop?  Pennsylvania!

If it’s Saturday this must be North Carolina.

Today is the third stop on my book tour for YOU ARE HERE: An Owner’s Manual for Dangerous Minds and I am in Raleigh, North Carolina.  Someone told me there’s an entire center just for lemurs nearby.  I’m not sure if it’s a delivery service but if it is I will totally be ordering a medicinal service lemur for the night.

Come see me.  BYOL. (Bring Your Own Lemur.)

This afternoon at 3pm at Quail Ridge Books.

Next stop?  Kentucky!

If it’s Friday this must be New Orleans.

Today is the second stop on my book tour for YOU ARE HERE: An Owner’s Manual for Dangerous Minds and I am in New Orleans, home of ghosts and boobies and probably ghost boobies.

Come see me.  Bring your ghost boobies.

Come?  Please?

Tonight at 6 at Garden District Book Shop.

Next stop?  North Carolina!

Want a signed copy of YOU ARE HERE?

Last night was the first stop on the YOU ARE HERE book tour and it was amazing!  Thanks so much if you came out.  It was terrifying until I looked out at a sea of people who looked equally terrified and then we all laughed and it was awesome.

I asked everyone to take a picture of themselves cradling an invisible baby raccoon and they were like, “You’re weird but we support you.”

Also, I signed an extra 100 copies of YOU ARE HERE at BookPeople in Austin and they will ship them anywhere so if you can’t make it on a stop and you want a signed copy you can get one while they last here.  Just type in “SIGNED COPY” in the comments field during checkout.

BOOKS!

Next stop, New Orleans!

If it’s Wednesday this must be Austin

Today is the first day of my book tour for YOU ARE HERE: An Owner’s Manual for Dangerous Minds.  AAAAAHHHHHH!  That was my scream of excitement mixed with abject terror.

I’m in Austin.  Are you in Austin?  Let’s be in Austin together.

Come?  Please?

Tonight at 7 at BookPeople.

Next stop?  New Orleans!

How to color outside the lines.

Hi.  I’m terrified.

I’m always slightly terrified because my anxiety disorder is a real asshole but it suddenly occurred to me that my book tour starts in a few days and I’ll be on the road for two weeks and this is always such a mix of amazingness and dread and fear and exhilaration, and I know I’ll get through it but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m literally shaking with anxiety right now.  I don’t have a joke here.  Just being honest.

It’s ironic that so many people use coloring as a tool to fight anxiety and I’m touring with what is essentially a coloring book (with lots of words in it) but I don’t really color.  Drawing is what I do to keep my hands from destroying myself so I haven’t actually colored any of the drawings in my own book because to me it looks done already.  But people are starting to get their copies of YOU ARE HERE early and they’re sharing their work online and now I’m seeing such amazing images as my drawings are reimagined with color and now I get it.

I started coloring an image I made last year that didn’t make it into the book and I’m finally finishing it but I suspect I’m missing out on the right tools and techniques so I’m sharing what I do here so you can tell me what I’m doing wrong.

First off, here’s the drawing I made if you want to print and color it yourself.  Just click on it to embiggen.

bloggessdoodle

 

This is what it looked like halfway through.  Then I fucked it up and ran out of ink so I walked away for awhile.

coloring-is-hard

But then I realized that I could blend the colors I had left and make it all rainbowy and shit.  (“All rainbowy and shit” = technical artistic terminology.)  So I did.  And when I accidentally smudged stuff I just got out a marker and incorporated it into the drawing. And when I went outside the lines I just made it look like it was supposed to look like that.  And it worked.  Kind of.  From a distance.

Long story short, I get why people color now.  But I enjoy it much more after learning from my mistakes.  And after a booze slushie.  So if you are new to coloring I will give you my few hints:

  1. You don’t have to color it.  You can just leave it black and white.  DONE.  You are the fastest colorer ever.
  2. I used two different kinds of pencils.  I used Ohuhu pencils for the light colors because they’re inexpensive.  I used watercolor pencils to get the really vivid colors.  You can color and then use a damp brush to activate the colors but personally I just dip the pencil in water and color with the wet pencil because it gives me more control.
  3. I used gel pens to color over stuff I’ve messed up on because they work like paint.  Plus THEY HAVE GLITTER IN THEM.  I used these because they’re cheaper but these are really nice if you have extra cash to spend.
  4. When the cat would head-butt me with his face while I was drawing I’d use white gel pens to color over the mess.  It’s like white-out but in a pen.
  5. If you want to color but don’t really want to color then get a gold sharpie and just add some spot color where you want.  Classy, lazy and elegant all at the same time.

Your turn.  Share your hints or your drawings.  And use the #youarehere hashtag so I can find your pictures online when you get your copy of my book?

I’ll be in Austin on Wednesday and then on from there.  Click here for the tour info.  Come see me.  Pretty please?

I need podcasts

My book tour for YOU ARE HERE starts in a few days and I am utterly unprepared (I may end up dressed in hotel sheets at this point) but one thing I’ve learned is that listening to podcast when you’re traveling can be fantastic because it’s like you’re having a conversation with a friend and you don’t even have to answer them and also if you fell asleep while they’re talking they don’t care.  It’s awesome.  But I need some new podcasts because I’m going to be on the road for two weeks so please give me suggestions.

My personal favorites usually fall under the category of “tell me a story”, “freak me out” or “make me laugh”.  Here are a few of my personal favorites:

Invisibilia

This American Life

Welcome to Night Vale

Hidden Brain

Stuff You Missed in History Class

Missing Richard Simmons

Lore

Up and Vanished

Reply All

Limetown

Pop Culture Happy Hour

Within the Wires

Thrilling Adventure Hour

Serial

Your turn.  What should I be listening to?

*******

And now…time for the weekly wrap-up!

sid2

 

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Sasha O’Hara, author of a crapload of good, subversive coloring books.  From her: Grab your pens and pencils and pull up that damn couch, because it’s time to get your snark on! When the shit show of life is making you crazy and everyone has lost their minds, let Cheaper than Therapy ease your stress with its insanely out of line pages.  With over 30 shockingly subversive illustrations, plus plenty of colorable journaling pages, you’re sure to get your sanity back in no time! Pages include sayings like “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed”, “My happy place is your happy place burning to the ground”, and “Are you fucking kidding me?!”, “Ew. People” and more.” Check it out here.

IT’S WORLD BOOK DAY!

Two things, first off the paperback version of Furiously Happy is on the NY Times list and I was like, “Look Victor! I’m number 1 and 2!”

NUMBER 12! #furiouslyhappy

A post shared by Jenny Lawson (@thebloggess) on

And he was like, “That’s a 12.  You’re number 12,” and I was all, “Whatever.  I’m using alternative math” and then he decided to stop reasoning with me which was a probably a good choice because it’s hard to argue with someone who’s #1 and #2.

Anyway, that would not have happened without you so I’m celebrating by giving out a whole bunch of copies of my next book (YOU ARE HERE) because it makes me happy to pay it forward.  Except I’m lazy so instead I’m just giving you an amazon gift certificate so you can order it (or something else if you don’t want it) yourself.

It’s also World Book Day and I need something new to read and you guys always have the best recommendations so tell me your favorite book that I should read.  (Right now I’m rereading The Wasp Factory.  It’s super dark, but it’s good.)  So leave me a comment recommending a book and I’ll pick a dozen of you at random to get a gift certificate for whatever you want.  (If you’re not in America tell me where so I can send you the right kind of gift certificate.)  You’ll get an email from me at the end of the week if you win.

Whoop!

Ferris Mewler reviewing my book. He thinks it's nice to sit on. Apparently.

Ferris Mewler reviewing my book. He thinks it’s very nice. To sit on.