Category Archives: what goes on tour stays on tour

Want a signed copy of YOU ARE HERE?

Last night was the first stop on the YOU ARE HERE book tour and it was amazing!  Thanks so much if you came out.  It was terrifying until I looked out at a sea of people who looked equally terrified and then we all laughed and it was awesome.

I asked everyone to take a picture of themselves cradling an invisible baby raccoon and they were like, “You’re weird but we support you.”

Also, I signed an extra 100 copies of YOU ARE HERE at BookPeople in Austin and they will ship them anywhere so if you can’t make it on a stop and you want a signed copy you can get one while they last here.  Just type in “SIGNED COPY” in the comments field during checkout.

BOOKS!

Next stop, New Orleans!

How to color outside the lines.

Hi.  I’m terrified.

I’m always slightly terrified because my anxiety disorder is a real asshole but it suddenly occurred to me that my book tour starts in a few days and I’ll be on the road for two weeks and this is always such a mix of amazingness and dread and fear and exhilaration, and I know I’ll get through it but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m literally shaking with anxiety right now.  I don’t have a joke here.  Just being honest.

It’s ironic that so many people use coloring as a tool to fight anxiety and I’m touring with what is essentially a coloring book (with lots of words in it) but I don’t really color.  Drawing is what I do to keep my hands from destroying myself so I haven’t actually colored any of the drawings in my own book because to me it looks done already.  But people are starting to get their copies of YOU ARE HERE early and they’re sharing their work online and now I’m seeing such amazing images as my drawings are reimagined with color and now I get it.

I started coloring an image I made last year that didn’t make it into the book and I’m finally finishing it but I suspect I’m missing out on the right tools and techniques so I’m sharing what I do here so you can tell me what I’m doing wrong.

First off, here’s the drawing I made if you want to print and color it yourself.  Just click on it to embiggen.

bloggessdoodle

 

This is what it looked like halfway through.  Then I fucked it up and ran out of ink so I walked away for awhile.

coloring-is-hard

But then I realized that I could blend the colors I had left and make it all rainbowy and shit.  (“All rainbowy and shit” = technical artistic terminology.)  So I did.  And when I accidentally smudged stuff I just got out a marker and incorporated it into the drawing. And when I went outside the lines I just made it look like it was supposed to look like that.  And it worked.  Kind of.  From a distance.

Long story short, I get why people color now.  But I enjoy it much more after learning from my mistakes.  And after a booze slushie.  So if you are new to coloring I will give you my few hints:

  1. You don’t have to color it.  You can just leave it black and white.  DONE.  You are the fastest colorer ever.
  2. I used two different kinds of pencils.  I used Ohuhu pencils for the light colors because they’re inexpensive.  I used watercolor pencils to get the really vivid colors.  You can color and then use a damp brush to activate the colors but personally I just dip the pencil in water and color with the wet pencil because it gives me more control.
  3. I used gel pens to color over stuff I’ve messed up on because they work like paint.  Plus THEY HAVE GLITTER IN THEM.  I used these because they’re cheaper but these are really nice if you have extra cash to spend.
  4. When the cat would head-butt me with his face while I was drawing I’d use white gel pens to color over the mess.  It’s like white-out but in a pen.
  5. If you want to color but don’t really want to color then get a gold sharpie and just add some spot color where you want.  Classy, lazy and elegant all at the same time.

Your turn.  Share your hints or your drawings.  And use the #youarehere hashtag so I can find your pictures online when you get your copy of my book?

I’ll be in Austin on Wednesday and then on from there.  Click here for the tour info.  Come see me.  Pretty please?

You are Here book bags! (They’re free. FREE! Get one quick.)

UPDATED!  It’s March 2 and 5,000 bag have been given away.  Yay!  Totes will be coming soon to those who got in on time!

Just a quick update.  Remember the book bags that my publisher is sending out for free as a special thank you to people who preorder my book, YOU ARE HERE: An Owner’s Manual for Dangerous Minds?  Well 3,700 of them have been claimed so far but they just got their shipment in of them and there are another 1,000 available so if you haven’t already claimed yours go do it now.

They just sent me pictures of them and they are big and awesome.  Wanna see?

bag

Click to embiggen

Click to embiggen

bag3

So if you want one, click here and fill out your information before they’re all gone.

screen-shot-2017-02-23-at-9-11-48-am

Click here for a free book bag, y’all.

Also, I’m going on tour starting next week (!) and I’m hearing that some of the stops are already sold out of inside room or are running out so if you can come drop them a line to see how you can reserve a spot.  (Usually preordering a book from the store gives you a guaranteed spot and you get to get into the signing line before everyone else.  Every store is different though so give them a call.)

urhere

PS. I know going to signings can be scary but you never met a nicer group of people who will understand if you need to hide under a table, and I’m happy to sign anything, from boobs to babies to books, so please come if you can.

PPS.  People are already starting to get their copies of YOU ARE HERE early (mostly in Canada and Germany for some reason) so when you get yours, let me know what you think?

I’M COMING TO YOUR TOWN. (But only if you live in one of the towns on my upcoming tour. Otherwise you may have to take a road trip.)

So!  YOU ARE HERE: An Owner’s Manual For Dangerous Minds comes out in 3 weeks and that means I’m going on tour!  Yay!  It’s just seven stops but we tried to add a few places that I’ve never toured before so hopefully it will be awesome.  And if it isn’t and only two people show up then we will skip the reading and just go to a bar and drinks are on me.  Either way, you win.

More details to come closer to the date but here’s a quick look at where we’ll be next month:

urhere

I’ll update as I get details but I can tell you that usually all my readings/signings are free (one place has a $5 ticket fee because they have to rent a place to host it) and usually if you buy the book from the bookstore hosting the event you get a guaranteed seat and you get to go first in the signing line and you help keep the bookstore in business, which is a very good thing.  I will happily sign anything you want though, no matter where you got it.  Boobs, babies, books, Beyoncés….whatever.

Also, if you can’t make it to any of the events but you want a signed copy of one of my books (or several) you can usually call and order one from any of the stores and ask them to have me personalize one for you while I’m there and they’ll mail it to you or you can pick it up.  You have to do it a bit early though because sometimes places run out of books quicker than expected.

Please come!  My readings are totally laid-back and filled with introverts and weirdos.  The good kind of weirdos.

More details to come…

If it’s Wednesday this must be Austin.

Last night I threw an online book launch party at my house and thousands of you came even though the Muppets were on at the same time.  It was amazing to see so many people hanging out together – alone – and making friends online and being hilarious and fantastic.  Entertainment Weekly wrote about it, which is a bit surreal because John Stamos never came out of the bushes and I didn’t even start anything on fire or get arrested.  If you missed it and you’re not able to get to a signing then you can watch it here:

The response to the book has been extraordinary and I can’t stop refreshing twitter and Facebook to see people share quotes and laughter and gifs like this:

THANK YOU.

And today the official book tour starts!  I’ll be in Austin tonight at BookPeople (7pm) so please come!  If you order from BookPeople you’ll get priority tickets in the signing line.

Tomorrow is Hailey’s birthday so I’m taking off that day but then I’m back on tour again and it’s going to be awesome.  Here’s the schedule.  Some places are already sold out so call to get a seat, but even if the reading is sold out I’ll still stay and sign books as long as you’re there.

Tour info:
official furiously happy tour poster

The devil and the details:
9/23 Austin Bookpeople 7pm
9/25 Houston, Blue Willow 6pm
9/26 Dallas, Half Price Books 3pm
9/29 Atlanta, A Cappella Books 7pm
9/30 Nashville, Parnassus 6:15pm
10/3 Miami, Books & Books (Coral Gables) 7pm
10/10 Huntsville, Alabama Rocket City Lit Fest  11am
10/12 Washington, DC Politics & Prose 7pm
10/15 NYC Barnes & Noble/ Union Square 6pm
10/17 Boston, Porter Square 6pm
10/20 Toronto, Indigo Manulife 7pm
10/23 Dayton, Books&Co 7pm
10/25 Chicago, Women & Children First 4pm
10/27 Milwaukee, Boswell Book Company 6:30pm
11/2 Minneapolis, University of Minnesota Bookstore 7pm
11/4 St. Louis, Left Bank Books 7pm
11/6 Wichita, Watermark Books  6pm
11/11 Denver, Tattered Cover  (Colfax store) 7pm
11/13 Seattle, Third Place Books (Lake Forest Park store) 6pm
11/14 Portland, Powell’s  (Burnside store) 4pm
12/1 San Francisco, Books Inc.  (Opera store) 7pm
12/2 Corte Madera, Book Passage 7pm
12/4 Santa Cruz, Bookshop Santa Cruz 7pm
12/6 Los Angeles, Vroman’s 4pm
12/7 Tempe Changing Hands 7pm