Category Archives: YOU ARE HERE

If it’s whatever day this is I must be sick.

Today I planned on going over all the craziness of the book tour but I’m postponing for a bit because I’ve come down with a mild case of I-HAVE-THE-PLAGUE-AND-I’M-GOING-TO-DIE.  And I asked Victor to feel my head to see if I have a fever and he was like, “Ew.  No.  Why do you always ask me to touch you when you’re sick?  People like you are the reason why typhoid spread so far” and I was like, “OMG, you are totally over-reacting.  But also, does my urine taste weird?” and then the people behind us at the taco shop moved to another table and that’s how you get privacy.  And also maybe typhoid.

PS. YOU ARE HERE: An Owner’s Manual for Dangerous Minds is #2 on the NYT bestseller list.  WHAT.  You did that, y’all.

“I’M NUMBER TWO!” ~ Things I didn’t think I’d scream excitedly in front of strangers until this happened.

PPS.  If you want a signed copy and couldn’t make it to a signing then you can go to Book People’s website and order one.  I’ll drop by and sign books as soon as the plague has passed.  Just write what you want me to personalize in the comment section of their website at checkout.  They ship everywhere.  (And I’ll sign any of my other books too.  Your wish = my command.  Unless your wish is for me to stop asking you to feel my head when I’m sick.  Sorry.  That’s what you signed up for, Victor.)

Want a signed copy of YOU ARE HERE?

Last night was the first stop on the YOU ARE HERE book tour and it was amazing!  Thanks so much if you came out.  It was terrifying until I looked out at a sea of people who looked equally terrified and then we all laughed and it was awesome.

I asked everyone to take a picture of themselves cradling an invisible baby raccoon and they were like, “You’re weird but we support you.”

Also, I signed an extra 100 copies of YOU ARE HERE at BookPeople in Austin and they will ship them anywhere so if you can’t make it on a stop and you want a signed copy you can get one while they last here.  Just type in “SIGNED COPY” in the comments field during checkout.

BOOKS!

Next stop, New Orleans!

How to color outside the lines.

Hi.  I’m terrified.

I’m always slightly terrified because my anxiety disorder is a real asshole but it suddenly occurred to me that my book tour starts in a few days and I’ll be on the road for two weeks and this is always such a mix of amazingness and dread and fear and exhilaration, and I know I’ll get through it but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m literally shaking with anxiety right now.  I don’t have a joke here.  Just being honest.

It’s ironic that so many people use coloring as a tool to fight anxiety and I’m touring with what is essentially a coloring book (with lots of words in it) but I don’t really color.  Drawing is what I do to keep my hands from destroying myself so I haven’t actually colored any of the drawings in my own book because to me it looks done already.  But people are starting to get their copies of YOU ARE HERE early and they’re sharing their work online and now I’m seeing such amazing images as my drawings are reimagined with color and now I get it.

I started coloring an image I made last year that didn’t make it into the book and I’m finally finishing it but I suspect I’m missing out on the right tools and techniques so I’m sharing what I do here so you can tell me what I’m doing wrong.

First off, here’s the drawing I made if you want to print and color it yourself.  Just click on it to embiggen.

bloggessdoodle

 

This is what it looked like halfway through.  Then I fucked it up and ran out of ink so I walked away for awhile.

coloring-is-hard

But then I realized that I could blend the colors I had left and make it all rainbowy and shit.  (“All rainbowy and shit” = technical artistic terminology.)  So I did.  And when I accidentally smudged stuff I just got out a marker and incorporated it into the drawing. And when I went outside the lines I just made it look like it was supposed to look like that.  And it worked.  Kind of.  From a distance.

Long story short, I get why people color now.  But I enjoy it much more after learning from my mistakes.  And after a booze slushie.  So if you are new to coloring I will give you my few hints:

  1. You don’t have to color it.  You can just leave it black and white.  DONE.  You are the fastest colorer ever.
  2. I used two different kinds of pencils.  I used Ohuhu pencils for the light colors because they’re inexpensive.  I used watercolor pencils to get the really vivid colors.  You can color and then use a damp brush to activate the colors but personally I just dip the pencil in water and color with the wet pencil because it gives me more control.
  3. I used gel pens to color over stuff I’ve messed up on because they work like paint.  Plus THEY HAVE GLITTER IN THEM.  I used these because they’re cheaper but these are really nice if you have extra cash to spend.
  4. When the cat would head-butt me with his face while I was drawing I’d use white gel pens to color over the mess.  It’s like white-out but in a pen.
  5. If you want to color but don’t really want to color then get a gold sharpie and just add some spot color where you want.  Classy, lazy and elegant all at the same time.

Your turn.  Share your hints or your drawings.  And use the #youarehere hashtag so I can find your pictures online when you get your copy of my book?

I’ll be in Austin on Wednesday and then on from there.  Click here for the tour info.  Come see me.  Pretty please?

I need podcasts

My book tour for YOU ARE HERE starts in a few days and I am utterly unprepared (I may end up dressed in hotel sheets at this point) but one thing I’ve learned is that listening to podcast when you’re traveling can be fantastic because it’s like you’re having a conversation with a friend and you don’t even have to answer them and also if you fell asleep while they’re talking they don’t care.  It’s awesome.  But I need some new podcasts because I’m going to be on the road for two weeks so please give me suggestions.

My personal favorites usually fall under the category of “tell me a story”, “freak me out” or “make me laugh”.  Here are a few of my personal favorites:

Invisibilia

This American Life

Welcome to Night Vale

Hidden Brain

Stuff You Missed in History Class

Missing Richard Simmons

Lore

Up and Vanished

Reply All

Limetown

Pop Culture Happy Hour

Within the Wires

Thrilling Adventure Hour

Serial

Your turn.  What should I be listening to?

*******

And now…time for the weekly wrap-up!

sid2

 

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

Shit-you-may-or-may-not-want-to-see:

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Sasha O’Hara, author of a crapload of good, subversive coloring books.  From her: Grab your pens and pencils and pull up that damn couch, because it’s time to get your snark on! When the shit show of life is making you crazy and everyone has lost their minds, let Cheaper than Therapy ease your stress with its insanely out of line pages.  With over 30 shockingly subversive illustrations, plus plenty of colorable journaling pages, you’re sure to get your sanity back in no time! Pages include sayings like “Good morning, I see the assassins have failed”, “My happy place is your happy place burning to the ground”, and “Are you fucking kidding me?!”, “Ew. People” and more.” Check it out here.

IT’S WORLD BOOK DAY!

Two things, first off the paperback version of Furiously Happy is on the NY Times list and I was like, “Look Victor! I’m number 1 and 2!”

NUMBER 12! #furiouslyhappy

A post shared by Jenny Lawson (@thebloggess) on

And he was like, “That’s a 12.  You’re number 12,” and I was all, “Whatever.  I’m using alternative math” and then he decided to stop reasoning with me which was a probably a good choice because it’s hard to argue with someone who’s #1 and #2.

Anyway, that would not have happened without you so I’m celebrating by giving out a whole bunch of copies of my next book (YOU ARE HERE) because it makes me happy to pay it forward.  Except I’m lazy so instead I’m just giving you an amazon gift certificate so you can order it (or something else if you don’t want it) yourself.

It’s also World Book Day and I need something new to read and you guys always have the best recommendations so tell me your favorite book that I should read.  (Right now I’m rereading The Wasp Factory.  It’s super dark, but it’s good.)  So leave me a comment recommending a book and I’ll pick a dozen of you at random to get a gift certificate for whatever you want.  (If you’re not in America tell me where so I can send you the right kind of gift certificate.)  You’ll get an email from me at the end of the week if you win.

Whoop!

Ferris Mewler reviewing my book. He thinks it's nice to sit on. Apparently.

Ferris Mewler reviewing my book. He thinks it’s very nice. To sit on.

You are Here book bags! (They’re free. FREE! Get one quick.)

UPDATED!  It’s March 2 and 5,000 bag have been given away.  Yay!  Totes will be coming soon to those who got in on time!

Just a quick update.  Remember the book bags that my publisher is sending out for free as a special thank you to people who preorder my book, YOU ARE HERE: An Owner’s Manual for Dangerous Minds?  Well 3,700 of them have been claimed so far but they just got their shipment in of them and there are another 1,000 available so if you haven’t already claimed yours go do it now.

They just sent me pictures of them and they are big and awesome.  Wanna see?

bag

Click to embiggen

Click to embiggen

bag3

So if you want one, click here and fill out your information before they’re all gone.

screen-shot-2017-02-23-at-9-11-48-am

Click here for a free book bag, y’all.

Also, I’m going on tour starting next week (!) and I’m hearing that some of the stops are already sold out of inside room or are running out so if you can come drop them a line to see how you can reserve a spot.  (Usually preordering a book from the store gives you a guaranteed spot and you get to get into the signing line before everyone else.  Every store is different though so give them a call.)

urhere

PS. I know going to signings can be scary but you never met a nicer group of people who will understand if you need to hide under a table, and I’m happy to sign anything, from boobs to babies to books, so please come if you can.

PPS.  People are already starting to get their copies of YOU ARE HERE early (mostly in Canada and Germany for some reason) so when you get yours, let me know what you think?

A special thank you for your support! (If you’re buying my next book read this now.)

UPDATED as on March 3: All 5,000 totes have been claimed!  Bags will be mailed out soon!  Thanks so much!

My next book, YOU ARE HERE, comes out week after next and so many of you have already gone and preordered a copy or are preordering this week and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it.  This book is very different from anything I’ve done before and it went from a life-raft of sketches that kept me sane during a deep depression to an actual book because you guys showed such an interest in how my broken brain deals with bullshit through art and words.  I wanted to say thank you for supporting this strange journey and my publisher came up with a really wonderful way to do it.  (I love them.)

So, as a special thank you, if you’ve preordered YOU ARE HERE my publisher will send you a YOU ARE HERE book bag for free.  It’s quite awesome and you can dye it or color it or you can leave it the way it is.  Or you can fill it with cow intestines and leave it in the trunk of that guy who cheated on you.  SO MANY OPTIONS.

If you want one just go here and fill out your info.  (I think they’re just shipping to North America.  Sorry everywhere else.)  You do have to share a picture proving you bought it just to keep randos from stocking up on a thousand free bags but it’s not hard.  For instance, if you ordered from Amazon just go to your orders and do a screenshot of the order.  Here’s my example.  If you click on your name it’ll show your address and all that but I didn’t for this example because NOT TODAY, STALKERS.

I ordered a copy of my own book. Stop judging me.

Yes, I ordered a copy of my own book. Stop judging me.

Want to see what the bags look like?

screen-shot-2017-02-23-at-9-11-48-am

Pretty awesome.  It’s first come, first served until they are gone and there are only a few thousand so be sure to submit your stuff as soon as you can.

And thank you again for everything.  You are full of magic.

PS. Spellcheck keeps trying to change “randos” to “pandas” and now I can’t stop thinking of pandas carrying my book bag around.  These are the moments I wish I was better at photoshop.

UPDATED: From Rachel Moskowitz, who is better than tacos:

Magic.

Magic.

YOU ARE HERE is here! (Sort of.)

YOU GUYS.  LOOK WHAT JUST CAME IN THE MAIL:

youarehereishere

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!  That was my excited scream.  Sorry.

Less than three weeks until the tour.  It’s almost like it’s real.

PS. Wanna see inside?

I’M COMING TO YOUR TOWN. (But only if you live in one of the towns on my upcoming tour. Otherwise you may have to take a road trip.)

So!  YOU ARE HERE: An Owner’s Manual For Dangerous Minds comes out in 3 weeks and that means I’m going on tour!  Yay!  It’s just seven stops but we tried to add a few places that I’ve never toured before so hopefully it will be awesome.  And if it isn’t and only two people show up then we will skip the reading and just go to a bar and drinks are on me.  Either way, you win.

More details to come closer to the date but here’s a quick look at where we’ll be next month:

urhere

I’ll update as I get details but I can tell you that usually all my readings/signings are free (one place has a $5 ticket fee because they have to rent a place to host it) and usually if you buy the book from the bookstore hosting the event you get a guaranteed seat and you get to go first in the signing line and you help keep the bookstore in business, which is a very good thing.  I will happily sign anything you want though, no matter where you got it.  Boobs, babies, books, Beyoncés….whatever.

Also, if you can’t make it to any of the events but you want a signed copy of one of my books (or several) you can usually call and order one from any of the stores and ask them to have me personalize one for you while I’m there and they’ll mail it to you or you can pick it up.  You have to do it a bit early though because sometimes places run out of books quicker than expected.

Please come!  My readings are totally laid-back and filled with introverts and weirdos.  The good kind of weirdos.

More details to come…

Independent Bookstore Day is coming!

Do you know about Independent Bookstore Day?  Because you should.  It’s a great way to support your local Indie shop and I’ll be there.  Well, sort of.

Every year, participating independent book stores encourage readers to come in for IBD and they offer kick-ass things that you can’t get anywhere else.  I’ve seen what’s coming this year and it’s bad-ass and I am incredibly proud to be included in the celebration.

I drew this specifically for Indie Bookstore Day and the only place it will be sold is at independent book stores on Saturday, April 29th.

youarehere-ibd

It’ll be printed on archival matte paper and it’s 16X20 and (just like with any of my drawings) you can either color it or leave it black and white.  There will be only 2,500 available and they’re all personally signed by me.  It’s not in my new book, YOU ARE HERE: An Owner’s Manual For Dangerous Minds, so it’s exclusive to indie bookstores.  They’re first-come-first served so call your local indie store to see if they’ll be carrying it.  I realize that many of you are like me, in that I would rather eat a bag of glass than make a phone call or leave the house, but there is a special exception to this because bookstores are safe, magical places full of sanctuary and escape.  They’re like church, but with less eating Jesus.

I’m not sure if I even make anything from the sale of the prints but anything I get I’ll use to buy books for people in this community because I know not everyone can easily afford them and books are the best medicine that exists in the world.  THE END.

Wait…not the end.  I forgot the details.  You can only get them in person at independent bookstores in America on the day of IBD but if there are any left the next day they might be available to buy online or over the phone.  I’ll remind you of all of this stuff again later because you’re probably as forgetful as I am.

I hope you like it.  I hope you like the book.  I hope I’m good enough for you.