Tag Archives: Victor

Is Victor wrong? (UPDATED FOR MORE AWESOMENESS.)

Last week I tweeted:

I’m forever googling ridiculous things to prove Victor wrong in our debates. I need a website that just says: “YOU’RE WRONG, VICTOR.”

It would save me so much time. And I could use that time to plant articles on the internet proving my incorrect ideas. Everyone wins.

Within minutes I got these from Doug, Jason, Nancy and Trevor:

YouAreWrongVictor.com

 IsVictorWrong.com 

@IsVictorWrong

And that is why I love the internet.

PS. Our current argument is whether I should be able to introduce myself to strangers at dinner parties as a “real-life were-woman” since technically a “were-wolf” means you’re now a wolf but you were a person, and so (using logic) “were-woman” would imply that I am a woman and also that I was a woman.  Victor disagreed and so I pulled up the Is-Victor-Wrong websites to use as scientific proof, but Victor said that there’s nothing scientifically valid about any of those websites.

I briefly considered that he might have a point, but then looked it up on the internet and turns out that Victor is wrong.

Who knew?

UPDATED: I never check my wikipedia page because it’s horribly outdated but several people told me I needed to look at it and now I know why:

(Click on it to embiggen.)

wiki This is almost as great as the time one of you changed my name to “Jennifer Juanita Spatula Jezebel Who-Let-The-Dogs-Out Lawson” and wikipedia didn’t notice it for a week.

Never change, you magnificent bastards.

PS. Apparently wikipedia pages are constantly being edited and the editors have to insert a note explaining each change.  The most recent change is noted as:

Add paragraph about Victor’s inherent wrongness.

Other notes over the years include:

Reverting vandalism

I love TheBloggess, but this won’t do.”

“Corrected grammar regarding Copernicus.”

New taxidermied animals as of 2/12

Our marriage is more mature than we are.

Our wedding anniversary was a few days ago and I was going to hire an evil clown to stalk Victor for a week to celebrate it (that’s a real thing) but then I got a cold (which is currently trying to suffocate me), and also I was fairly certain that Victor’s automatic instinct would be to bludgeon the clown to death with his own shoes.  Instead we decided to just postpone our anniversary so that I can properly surprise Victor with a suitcase full of monkeys or something when he’s not expecting it.

We’ve officially been married now for 18 years, so if our marriage was a person it could be tried and convicted as an adult.  I’m fairly sure our marriage is now more mature than we are.

It seems weird to think we’ve been married for 18 years.  Sometimes it feels like we’ve only been married for 10 years because I’ve slept a lot so it seems like some years shouldn’t count, and sometimes it feels likes we’ve been married for forty years because some years are so much bigger than they should be.  But 18 seems right.

Old enough to make bad choices.  Young enough to still enjoy them.

18 seems about perfect.

PS. Sometimes people complain that I seldom post pictures of Victor and it’s hard to argue with that because if you search for google images of Victor you end up with stuff like this.  So I’m remedying that with a not-particularly-flattering but very candid picture of me and Victor, which shows why we never get taken seriously at neighborhood watch meetings.

You can't tell but he's laughing too.  Or he's mad.  It's hard to tell, really.

You can’t tell, but he’s totally laughing too. Or he’s really mad.  Or maybe it’s someone else entirely.  It’s hard to tell, really.  That man is a damn enigma.

PPS.  I’m on a lot of cold meds.  This might be obvious.