Zofrankendrac

Victor:  I was just thinking…if Frankenstein got bit by a dracula and a zombie he’d pretty much be an unstoppable killing machine.

Me:  Huh.  Draco…zombistein?  

Victor:  No, no.  Zofrankendrac. 

Me:  Sounds like an antidepressant I was on once. 

Victor:  Zofrankendrac may cause fear of fire. 

Me:  Zofrankendrac will not protect you from stakes to the heart.  Some users may experience extreme sensitivity to sunlight. 

Victor:  If you have an erection that lasts longer than four hours contact your mad scientist immediately.

Me:  Sometimes it amazes me that we’re someone’s parents.

34 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Zofrankendrac may keep you up at night and make you eternally thirsty. See your doctor if you suffer from iron poor blood.

  2. And yet…LMAO!

    Welcome to my gutter. Oh and I’m sure Zofrankedrac would like a bride. Who could take him on? Hmmm.

    I can think of a few potential brides but they all live in DC (by profession)…is he willing to relocate?

    Julie
    Using My Words

  3. Some people who are taking Zofrankendrac may engage in brain eating with no memory for the event.

  4. Zofrankendrac may also result in headache, dry mouth and nausea. Most who reported these symptoms were also clinically insane. Do not take Zofrankendrac in conjunction with anything.

  5. Plus Zofrakendrac could have his own show on Broadway now. I totally want to see Mel Brooks’ “Young Frankenstein” in NYC.

  6. I wish y’all were my neighbors.

  7. This may be the end of intelligent thought as we know it.

  8. While taking Zofrankendrac please be wary of Bugs Bunny singing “yadat da data abracabda…” you may be turned into a bat and back into Zofrankendrac at inopportune moments.

  9. Zofrankedrac is not for everyone. Pregnant mothers or those who are nursing should avoid Zofrankedrac. Using Zofrankedrac while nursing may lead to painful biting of the nipples followed by an eternity of seeking out the brains of the living. Use only as directed.

    You ever notice that the side effects of these revolutionary drugs are worse than what they cure? Give me a few blue days any time as long as I’m sans rectal seepage and the risk of stroke or cardiac arrest.

    But frankly, if I have an erection that lasts more than four hours I’m not callin’ anybody about it. I’m tuning in to the Spice Channel or something.

  10. I love the new header!!!!

    Dude…”Some users may experience extreme sensitivity to sunlight.” Do you think KayTar has been sneaking the Zofrankendrac behind my back? LOL. 😉

  11. Hey, when did THAT go up? I mean, like five minutes ago it was still some funky tunnel!

    Very cool. I dig it. Needs a unicorn decal and a flamethrower, but still cool.

  12. I lost 14 pounds on Zofrankendrac! You can too!

    Weight loss not typical.

  13. You two could never possibly have a boring conversation. I wish I was had your brain. Ah, brains!

  14. I didn’t know that antidepressants could cause that 4-hour thingie.

    And, btw, the correct warning is:

    “If you have an erection that lasts longer than four hours contact your circle of friends immediately and tell them about it. Then call your mad scientist.”

    ~EdT.

  15. You ain’t kidding. If I have an erection that lasts for longer than four hours I’m calling EVERYONE to tell them about it (and I’m going to blog about it).

    Jeeze, like my DOCTOR really cares.

  16. So does this mean I don’t have to give up conversations like this, mostly spawned from fond reminiscence of Family Guy or South Park, once I have a kid?

    Suddenly life has meaning again. No, really.

  17. I wish I lived next door to you.

    When the commercials first came out, he would mumble, If you have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours call a WOMAN!

  18. We have conversations like this too. Perhaps we can start a commune? Do they frown on that in Texas?

  19. I wonder if Zofrancendrac fell on his own erection, would it slay him?

  20. Oh I think you’ll be hearing from the MacAuthor foundation any day now…you know, they give out those Genius Grants. I feel a couple coming your way.

  21. Love your new header!!! And . . . your conversations with Victor!

  22. Thank God you’re somebody’s parents. I’m going to start handing out badges to parents with a sense of humor. What could they say? “Hey! I’m not a dickhead!? Ok, I may have to work on that copy.

    LOVE your header!

  23. DD- Only if it was big enough to reach his heart.

  24. Classic Jenny & Victor, as usual! Love it!

  25. Can I be you guys when I grow up? I guess I need to find my own Victor first. Dang it.

  26. I love the new header. And you and Victor.

  27. Peeing my pants….

  28. LOL! I would say, “poor Hailey” but actually I am jealous of her!

  29. Sounds scary but I think my superhero…superbatflashulk could take him on!

  30. I love that you are someone’s parents. The world needs some weird.

  31. Holy funny!

    Love the new header too! Its way perfect.

    Hailey is so lucky to have you both as parents. She will never lack for material for her own blog someday.

  32. Hailey is so lucky to have you both as parents. She will never lack for material for her own blog someday.

    Or the sessions with her therapist.

    ~EdT.

  33. ROFLMAO.

    I love this! It’s so something that would come out of my brain 🙂

  34. yay Victor! I knew you had it in you – embrace the inner monster-mash

    JJ @ 84thand3rd recently posted Pumpkin Pie Spread.

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