Victor:  I was just thinking…if Frankenstein got bit by a dracula and a zombie he’d pretty much be an unstoppable killing machine.

Me:  Huh.  Draco…zombistein?  

Victor:  No, no.  Zofrankendrac. 

Me:  Sounds like an antidepressant I was on once. 

Victor:  Zofrankendrac may cause fear of fire. 

Me:  Zofrankendrac will not protect you from stakes to the heart.  Some users may experience extreme sensitivity to sunlight. 

Victor:  If you have an erection that lasts longer than four hours contact your mad scientist immediately.

Me:  Sometimes it amazes me that we’re someone’s parents.

34 thoughts on “Zofrankendrac

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Zofrankendrac may keep you up at night and make you eternally thirsty. See your doctor if you suffer from iron poor blood.

  2. And yet…LMAO!

    Welcome to my gutter. Oh and I’m sure Zofrankedrac would like a bride. Who could take him on? Hmmm.

    I can think of a few potential brides but they all live in DC (by profession)…is he willing to relocate?

    Using My Words

  3. Zofrankendrac may also result in headache, dry mouth and nausea. Most who reported these symptoms were also clinically insane. Do not take Zofrankendrac in conjunction with anything.

  4. Plus Zofrakendrac could have his own show on Broadway now. I totally want to see Mel Brooks’ “Young Frankenstein” in NYC.

  5. While taking Zofrankendrac please be wary of Bugs Bunny singing “yadat da data abracabda…” you may be turned into a bat and back into Zofrankendrac at inopportune moments.

  6. Zofrankedrac is not for everyone. Pregnant mothers or those who are nursing should avoid Zofrankedrac. Using Zofrankedrac while nursing may lead to painful biting of the nipples followed by an eternity of seeking out the brains of the living. Use only as directed.

    You ever notice that the side effects of these revolutionary drugs are worse than what they cure? Give me a few blue days any time as long as I’m sans rectal seepage and the risk of stroke or cardiac arrest.

    But frankly, if I have an erection that lasts more than four hours I’m not callin’ anybody about it. I’m tuning in to the Spice Channel or something.

  7. I love the new header!!!!

    Dude…”Some users may experience extreme sensitivity to sunlight.” Do you think KayTar has been sneaking the Zofrankendrac behind my back? LOL. 😉

  8. I didn’t know that antidepressants could cause that 4-hour thingie.

    And, btw, the correct warning is:

    “If you have an erection that lasts longer than four hours contact your circle of friends immediately and tell them about it. Then call your mad scientist.”


  9. You ain’t kidding. If I have an erection that lasts for longer than four hours I’m calling EVERYONE to tell them about it (and I’m going to blog about it).

    Jeeze, like my DOCTOR really cares.

  10. So does this mean I don’t have to give up conversations like this, mostly spawned from fond reminiscence of Family Guy or South Park, once I have a kid?

    Suddenly life has meaning again. No, really.

  11. I wish I lived next door to you.

    When the commercials first came out, he would mumble, If you have an erection lasting longer than 4 hours call a WOMAN!

  12. Oh I think you’ll be hearing from the MacAuthor foundation any day now…you know, they give out those Genius Grants. I feel a couple coming your way.

  13. Thank God you’re somebody’s parents. I’m going to start handing out badges to parents with a sense of humor. What could they say? “Hey! I’m not a dickhead!? Ok, I may have to work on that copy.

    LOVE your header!

  14. Holy funny!

    Love the new header too! Its way perfect.

    Hailey is so lucky to have you both as parents. She will never lack for material for her own blog someday.

  15. Hailey is so lucky to have you both as parents. She will never lack for material for her own blog someday.

    Or the sessions with her therapist.


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