This just in. Guy Kawasaki did not invent the motorcycle.

in "Kawasakied" is the new black., Random Crap, this blog cures cancer

This is an update on yesterday’s super-exciting post so if you missed it you need to go there and read it first because otherwise you are going to be totally more confused than usual.

Guy Kawasaki is pretty much completely in love with me and this marks the first time ever that I’ve been myself around a celebrity and they didn’t look at me like I shit on the floor.  I was certain that after my last email he would have banned my blog from the cool kid list forever but in fact, he actually continued to email me:

 Jenny,

35,000 pageviews ain’t hay as they say in Texas? (Do they really say this in Texas?) I didn’t invent the motorcycle but people think I look like Jackie Chan.

 Guy
 

 From:  Jenny@thebloggess.com:

I’m disappointed about the motorcycle thing but the good news is that
Jackie Chan is totally hot.  (As evidenced by this picture of my
black-market-Chinese-copy of Cannonball Run which is completely
Chan-based.)

chan.jpg

Also, I’m a fifth generation Texan and I’ve never heard anyone say that hay
thing in my entire life.  But in honor of you I am totally going to start
saying it all the time.

~Jenny

********************

And then Guy twittered about me, which is like winning an Oscar for best design of a battery-operated series of fog machines.  Totally amazing and kind of embarrassing all at the same time.  Also?  Nothing to sneer at make hay about.

Anyway, I’d just like to thank Mr. Kawasaki for being the one of the first genuinely nice celebrities to not make me feel like a total douchebag and I plan on sending a copy of this to Ken Hoffman who could certainly take a lesson from Guy and needs to realize that just  acknowledging a fan letter won’t mean that I’ll get all delusional and suddenly be convinced that we’re now “best friends forever” and show up at your house on holidays.  It’s too late now, Ken, but it would have meant a lot to me way back when I was just some random chick to you.  Back when I wasn’t engaged to Guy Kawasaki. 

I’d also like to point out that when you google “Ken Hoffman” (who is a well-known columnist and author) the 6th thing that pops up is “Ken Hoffman is a jerk” which unfortunately I have to agree with (and which coincidentally I wrote myself).

 Sorry, Ken.  Guess you shouldn’t have made hay at me with me too me out of me.

PS.   Guy, this hay phrase is really not working for me.  How about instead I make your name into a verb?  Like “Hell yes!  My blog got Kawasakied today!”

Kawasakied:  To be acknowledged by someone who totally kicks ass but if you told your mom about it she’d be like “What?  What’s a blog?  Hey, is that the guy who invented the motorcycle?”

95 thoughts on “This just in. Guy Kawasaki did not invent the motorcycle.”

Read comments below or add one.

  2. Is that a mullet Jackie Chan has in that photo? If so, that’s awesome! I swear one of these days I’m going to cut my hair into a mullet . . . I think I’m going to reserve it for a punishment to my kid if he does something really bad as a form of embarassment. I will then insist upon walking him to the front door of school rocking my mullet.

    Man, I’m one messed up chick.

    Law School Hot Mama’s last blog post..Yes, I am a Child of the Corns

  3. I met Guy at BlogHer 2006 and he is so gracious and wonderful in person too. He remembers everyone and makes everyone feel special. He should totally come in pill form so I can take him daily.

    (Your next comment will be from guy saying he doesn’t remember me, I’m sure – because I’m a pessimist like that but back then I was Karen from troll Baby and some aren’t making the connection between that and Sugarpants.)

    My point is, I love Guy and I love you and I wish you years of happiness and joy together.

    Karen Sugarpants’s last blog post..Muffintop In Da House!

  5. I have never heard of this hay thing either. Does it imply that hay is an inferior crop in some way? Cause I don’t get that. Hay’s allright by me.

    You are a FIFTH generation Texan. Awesome.

    Tessie’s last blog post..Not Making This Up

  6. I thought all of us deliberately stocked up on forms of embarrassment to be eventually used upon our children.

    Damn, I have a whole room of my house dedicated to it. Now I’ll have to make it into a gym or something.

    markira’s last blog post..Haircut

  7. Stop killing me*. I’m at work for crying out loud.

    Guy Kawasaki sounds even radder than I already thought he was. And it sounds like Ken Hoffman totally pissed off the wrong, uh, haystack…?? (<< does that work? Probably not, but then again I’m not originally from Texas) 😛

    * ‘killing’ as in, making me laugh until I can no longer breathe.

  10. OMG…and then like, i saw how he twittered you and so i clicked to follow him and then i got an email saying that he’s totally following me and i was so freaking excited like OH MA GA.

    and then i thought of all the cool celebrities i’ve met like neil diamond who totally has a picture of 6 year old me somewhere or bono who was insanely impressed that i almost fainted while clutching his shoulder and simultaneously orgasming for being so close to him.

    ah…memories.

  18. The first time I read that I thought you’d say your dog got Kawasakied today. And I thought “What a nice guy to acknowledge your dog” and then I thought Jenny doesn’t even have a dog, does she? and I got all indignant that he didn’t even love you enough to know that you have a half-paralized-tub-cat and a probably-mostly-normal-but-lives-in-a-crazy-house cat instead of a dog, and why was he such a nice guy if he didn’t even know that?

    Then I re-read it and saw you were actually takling about your blog. Much different. I will withdraw my indignation. And posssibly get new glasses.

  22. well I am too busy trying not to say his name GHEE in my head, all french like, as I am wont to do. Because we girls from Louisiana like to Frenchify things. Things that have no business being frenchified like

    Twalay
    and
    Fransh Freeee

    flutter’s last blog post..as is usually the way

  23. My hubby has a man crush on Guy Kawasaki.

    P.S. You’re officially on my cool kid list…which probably makes you feel about as cool as if your mom had made that statement. But hey, you’re linked to my blog now!

  25. Dude I read your blog everyday (well I check for updates daily and read them when they are there). I havent commented till now but just wanted to let you know your totally famous to me. I found you at mama drama and have been a blog stalker of yours ever since! Stalker in a good way, not the creepy peer in your windows at night way; although I would love to meet the tub cat in real life. Anywho- I felt a bond with the 5th gen. Texan thing because I too am a 6th gen Texan. Ive never heard the hay thing either… but have lots of other wierd texan sayings from the great-grandparents!

  26. I’m very thrilled for you Jenny. Even though Karen Sugerpants there says he’s nice to everyone.

    I have heard that ain’t hay and I live in the northeast.

    For example

    friend 1 says “I saw Shaun Cassidy in concert at the state fair” and friend 2 would say “Well that ain’t hay! I MET Shaun Cassidy at the state fair…and he signed my Da Do Run Run Run single”

    Luann’s last blog post..dreams

  27. Ken is a jerk…maybe the next time he goes through the drive thru he’ll get a soda thrown at him. Is that mean to say? Oh well, he never publishes my comments to him. I think he’s worried I’ll show him up.

  29. I had to google Guy Kawasaki, because I had no clue who he is. Seems like a good guy to have in love with you.

    Congrats on being recognized as a blogger of note. I love it when “little” bloggers (BTW, you get more hits than I do) get noticed.

  31. I think there is a much more pressing question to be answered here:

    Did you make it through the movie in its entirety?

    Sometimes I think Jackie Chan’s legs are made of peach-Os. Do you think Guy’s are similarly gummy?

    Spirophita’s last blog post..Random

  32. First of all, you guys are totally cracking me up. Slumber party at my house. You’re all invited.

    Secondly, I don’t know what peach-O’s are but I assume that it’s some sort of delicious Canadian candy.

  35. Oh Bloggess(you will note that I never use your real name, even though I believe it’s something like Jen or Jenny or Jamiriquai), to me, YOU are the celebrity blogger deigning to view my silly little blog.

    But, it’s totally awesome that you got Kawasakied! Plus, if you haven’t thought about this, with your blogroll, we could ALL get kawasakied, which may take away some of the power of the kawasaki…ing……ism………ness.

    I know something about Texas. It’s big. Knowledge passed.

    Michael’s last blog post..So, I was going to…

  38. LOL.

    He’s right, you are funny.

    And yes, he is cool. I emailed asking if he could add my site and he e-mailed back saying yes AND he didn’t gag, throw rotten tomatoes or anything at my little site.

    I am a first gen. Texan. My mom is Italian and my dad Danish. Wicked combo there, but I can say Ya’ll with an italian accent, so that’s something. My hubby is something like 4th generation Galveston..I believe his paternal g-g-granddad was a transplant.

    jody’s last blog post..Gin Freeze-or how to make a frozen drink when you allowed the house to run out of RUM!

  43. Erica/Tx Gambit – You stand out where ever you are. You are awesome and adorable. Never second guess commenting here. Because I love comments. Even the ones that are mildly insulting.

    Ah hell, *especially* the ones that are mildly insulting.

  48. Oh yeah? Well … *I* got an e-mail from Jimmy Honda! Who is he, you ask? He’s … this famous … he made .. he’s so … just shut up. I’m also cool.

    [Stinkin’ Guy Kawasaki and his being cool.]

    p.s. I’m totally going to befriend Ken Hoffman now.

    p.p.s. Ok, I’m not. And not just because he won’t return my phone calls. It’s also because I think his hair is weird. It gives me nightmares.

    p.p.p.s I’m sorry. You’re much cooler than I am. I lost my head. Also, I think Guy Kawasaki has blocked me.

  49. He’s right – you are HI-larious (as we say in TX)

    ..and I am sending you some peach-o’s, because not knowing about peach-o’s is a cryin’ shame

    Katy’s last blog post..Baby Love

  50. Jenny: living proof that friendly stalking sometimes works!

    Or, ah, something like that.

    *Ditches career in t-shirt sloganizing.*

    What’s funny is that as cool as GK is, whenever a higher level blogger drops by on my blog (for whatever bizarre reason), I feel all Kawasakied! Or Bloggessed or sumthin’.

    Whee! I need more sleep. *thud!*

    Hatchet’s last blog post..OMG!

  51. Dude, I’m all about getting Kawasakied. That could mean so many things.

    Like, Guy came over last night and after a bottle of wine, he “Kawasakied” me.

    But I’m kinda with Hatchet on the “Bloggessed” thing.

    Do “Kawasakied” and “agita” belong together in the “dictionary”?

    AMomTwoBoys’s last blog post..Bro’s Before Ho’s

  61. Jenny, I’m a total moron and just realized you left me my first comment…like forever ago.
    Me = Dumbass
    Is it too late to get on your blogroll? Obviously I have some work to do in the whole blogging etiquette department.

    P.S. I had no idea who Guy Kawasaki was until now…I thought at first he was a porn star. He’s obviously a freaking genius for recognizing your awesomeness. Word.

    Yo Mama’s Blog’s last blog post..HOLY SHIT!

  62. Guy is one of the nicest guys out there. And he didn’t even get a restraining order when I threw myself at his feet and offered to have his Internet baby at BlogHer. (At least I don’t think he did.)

    You are so worth being Kawasakied. (Even if it does sound a little dirty!)

    I do have a blog crush on you. Can I come to the slumber party? Better yet, will be down there in March. Drinks on me!

    Jenn’s last blog post..Guy Kawasaki said I am Tops. (Okay he said a lot of others are, too but this is my blog.)

  63. Jenny,

    You gotta stop writing about me. The Alltop servers can’t handle the clickthroughs.

    “Sake from a cow” sure beats “cow’s ass sagging.”

    Guy

  67. Pingback: Assorted GARbage» Blog Archive » Okay, so Kawasaki me too!
  68. Pingback: Whims » What Started as Sharing a Blog I Found Today and Turned into a Whole Lot of Nothing…

  69. You gotta stop writing about me. The Alltop servers can’t handle the clickthroughs.

    It’s time to coin a new term, folks and fellow geeks. To be “Bloggessed” = to be featured on TheBloggess.com, which results in your server melting under the ensuing avalanche of hits.

    Gary Kawasaki: you have been Bloggessed.

    😉

    ~EdT.

    Ed T.’s last blog post..From Hail-ish Tuesday to Wordless Wednesday

  75. Ed T, I hearby claim first use and partial authorship to the term Bloggessed, with AMomTwoBoys having seconded the notion and yourself formalizing the idea.

    Internets: you’re welcome!

    Hatchet’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  76. Well his little Twitter photo certainly is hot. Babe, you’re my idol. First Will, then Amy, now Guy. The Bloggess is taking over the world, baby!

  77. What the hay (btw, folks, that’s how we used the term, down here in H-Town), did I just mis-spell Guy Kawasaki’s first name as “Gary” up above!? That’ll cost me at least a couple of k3wlness points, I’m afraid :snif:

    Hatchet/AMomTwoBoys – sure, I’m OK with that! There’s plenty of blame credit to go around.

    I just can’t wait for MDcQIII, though – by which time JtB should need a limo, a red carpet, hordes of pararazzi, and Ryan Seacrest to do the entrance interview.

    Then, they can feature her Halloween photoshoot on The Soup 😉

    ~EdT.

    Ed T.’s last blog post..The method changes, but the mission stays the same

  78. Yeah, “what the hay” is how it’s done up in Maine, too.

    I’d ask to be Bloggessed but I think you have to be famous first? Although, as mentioned before, just being linked as a fave by the Bloggess on Technorati was enough to jump my rank by A QUARTER MILLION POINTS.

    And I *am* on the blogroll, people, and not in the invisible font, either (although close). I really cannot ask for much more.

    Well, I can, because I’m greedy like that. mk

    markira’s last blog post..Blogaholic

  79. I am convinced your comments have turned into a forum and have thus created a forog, a hybrid.

    And Peach-Os are all-american. They also come in flavors of Apple-Os and Strawberry-Os, though Peach-Os are most popular. They are gummies covered in sugar, shaped like little doughnuts. Guaranteed right on the package to rot your teeth. Enjoy!

    Spirophita’s last blog post..Swim Workout #4

  82. Got here from Guy’s tweet. I might be sticking around a while. The Bloggess is downright entertaining.

    I’m 1G (or 2G? Does it count if your parents weren’t born here but moved to Texas when they were elementary school age and have never left?) Texan. Never heard hay used that way before. I definitely like Kawasakied and Blogessed way better.

    Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..Hump Day Humor: Jimmy and Sarah

  88. Pingback: The Bloggess » Just call me “Merriam”.

  89. fog…beginning…to clear…

    slowly…making sense…of it all…

    It only took me reading multiple posts, multiple times over the course of multiple days…!

    Which, I’m sorry to report, is NOTHING like a multiple orgasm.

    Robin’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday ~ Beached

  92. Pingback: The House of Flying Monkeys » I’ve been Kawasakied on Twitter!!!
  93. Pingback: I’m huge in Singapore « Okay, Fine, Dammit

  95. My Kawasaki is my favorite. As someone who works on their own machines, I can tell you that Kawasaki uses the cheapest hardware possible. I generally replace any nuts, bolts, and screws that get in my way while working on a project. In any case, it’s a good bike with decent architecture – and it’s 21 years old now.

Leave a Reply

MY BOOKS:


shop

Subscribe to the bloggess, y'all.

Enter your email address and receive notifications of new posts by email. It\'s like I\'m stalking you, but more efficient.

Archives

ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:

I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

The Dating Days of Marta O: When I told my sister I was building a blog she said: “Do people still read blogs?” I do not know, but if YOU want to read it, here it is. Keep in mind, my stories about dating after 40 are for the brave.

Where Do I Belong? A memoir of Sarah Carrington: The unbelievable story of growing up in a religious cult in the mountains of Northern British Columbia. What happens to you in life doesn’t make you strong; rising above it does.

CONNECTED: A Personal Journal for Ketamine Therapy Created by writer & patient Katherine Davis for this powerful clinical treatment. If considering ketamine for major depression, check out this essential tool.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

Discover more from The Bloggess

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading