I was totally shocked when Michael informed me that I’d been entered into the annals of history by way of the Urban Dictionary:
And I, of course, giggled and blushed and decreed that my coworkers begin walking 3-5 feet behind me to demonstrate their inferiority to me.
Then I clicked on one of the tags Michael included in the definition and discovered this:
Touché, Willowtree.
And just like that, my over-inflated ego collapsed and the world went on much the same as always.
But I’m still going to need all of you to start referring to me with an honorific title like “your excellency”. Or if we’ve gotten drunk together, something less formal like “The Dread Lady of Blogsylvania”.
Also, no eye contact.
PS. If you look up “Bloggessed” in the “real” dictionary it gives you this as the closest match:
Insulting and scarily fitting.
Comment of the day: Back in 1974, when I was the karate champ of Flitners Corner, Wyoming (I actually moved to Flitners Corner solely for the reason that there was no karate studios in the area and the relatively low population, figured I could become the champ once I created the contest and lightly (aka light as in not) advertised). I became the subject of similar such notoriety. The only contestant I had to defeat, Lyle P. Ligonberry became the victim of the very first Scrotal Tornado. What happened (mostly by accident), was my toe got caught in his wrestling singlet (Lyle apparently thought wrestling was karate) and I fell. I flipped over snapping back into action. In the process of doing so, I had started torquing his nutsack into something resembling a flesh colored twister lollipops. Ergo, my toe and your mind have a lot in common – both famous and both excellent at twisting nutsacks. ~furiousball
Willowtree: always one step ahead of being two steps behind.
mark’s last blog post..Is the House on Fire?
Wow, I feel like I am brushing with celebrity just commenting here! My god.
Also, is that where the British slang “bollocks” came from?
Jess’s last blog post..The Flower Saga, Part… I’ve Lost Count
Heh. You said “annals.”
Toni’s last blog post..I’m Too Sexy for My Penguin
I am truly humbled to be in your shadow…
and a little afraid after the fuss you made over Herpes.
Houston’s last blog post..Morning Lunchbags!
I’m not even worthy of commenting.
Maria’s last blog post..Dun duh duh da!!! Super Ant!!
I’m surprised you and the term “bloggessed” weren’t already in urban dictionary.
imelda’s last blog post..Twitter in Plain English
The Dread Lady of Blogsylvania it is then.
Kyla’s last blog post..Questions!
You have always been Her Excellency of Blogsylvania to me.
*sigh* (I kiss so much ass)
The Introvert’s last blog post..the good ol’ days
Oh. My. God.
So, uh are your britches feelin snug? Nah? Good, baby cuz I know you’re not too big for ’em ;p
you crack me up
flutter’s last blog post..Light through the blinds
The “real” dictionary definition sounds pretty right on. And I mean that in the best way possible.
*snort*
I love you guys. You build me up and tear me down in the most amazing ways.
I thought these references were just clever photoshopping on your part, so I went to urbandictionary.com to find out. Now I must apologize for my doubt.
On a side note, a blogfuck refers to ”
when a blog entry refers to several other blogging individuals, often in the act of reminiscing about shared escapades the night before.”
You know, like M.D. Con Queso II.
Jeff’s last blog post..Shower the people
All hail and now bow down to Her Highness.
Treasia’s last blog post..Getting to the bottom of it
Back in 1974, when I was the karate champ of Flitners Corner, Wyoming (I actually moved to Flitners Corner solely for the reason that there was no karate studios in the area and the relatively low population, figured I could become the champ once I created the contest and lightly (aka light as in not) advertised). I became the subject of similar such notoriety. The only contestant I had to defeat, Lyle P. Ligonberry became the victim of the very first Scrotal Tornado. What happened (mostly by accident), was my toe got caught in his wrestling singlet (Lyle apparently thought wrestling was karate) and I fell. I flipped over snapping back into action. In the process of doing so, I had started torquing his nutsack into something resembling a flesh colored twister lollipops. Ergo, my toe and your mind have a lot in common – both famous and both excellent at twisting nutsacks.
furiousball’s last blog post..my $heart = ?;
Dictionaries make my brain hurt. Math is hard. Let’s go shopping.
Spamboy’s last blog post..Updates for March 9, 2008
“Scrotal Tornado”
That one wins… I wonder if I can steal that and write it into my 100 word story this week?
Houston’s last blog post..Morning Lunchbags!
damnitt! hot coffee through the nose is not pleasant.
can’t. stop. laughing. singed nose hairs and all…
biddy’s last blog post..CALM YOURSELVES, PEOPLE!!
you know, rose petals thrown at your feet as you walk would really enhance your exaltedness, I’m just sayin’.
Maggie’s last blog post..Such a serious boy
I want some of whatever furiousball is on.
The Introvert’s last blog post..the good ol’ days
p.s. i totally just got written up on the system for trying to go to urban dictionary because it’s “obscene”
if i lose my job i’m totally coming to live with you
biddy’s last blog post..CALM YOURSELVES, PEOPLE!!
Okay, well I guess this would explain all the hits I’m getting from here. Frankly I’m surprised it’s even in there, I got a message saying it was cancelled before it was reviewed by the editors. I just assumed even the Urban Dictionary people were scared of you too.
Willowtree’s last blog post..Not another pet clip?!
All hail the Blogess!
Carrie’s last blog post..People are People
Looks like Maria and I will be slowly and silently following 3 paces behind together…
…snickering all the way.
Headless Mom’s last blog post..An American Idol Party
The worst is when the quack doctor manages to bollox the botox. Then you end up kinda wide eyed and bushy tailed. Or something.
zenmomma’s last blog post..Thursday Thirteen #18 – The Liberal Store
Ooh! I’ve been bloggessed, and I liked it!
Melessa’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: I Made This!
Too funny!
Ginny’s last blog post..Oyster Funny + some facts
Oh mercy, it’s a wonder your head still fits through the doorway these days…or does it?! 😉
*picture it: a big ballooned head on your little body* It’s almost like reverse Jenny Craig before shot…or is that after…hmm. 😀
The Pear Lady’s last blog post..Take me out the ball game
I promise not to look in your eyes, but not walk 5 steps behind. I’m a fast walker, hey! 😉
Z’s last blog post..Like I didn’t know already
I routinely to you are Her Highness The Bloggess.
Honestly I do, her Majesty.
Emily’s last blog post..The Perfect Workout
I feel the accusation about you “killing your cat” for blog fodder is horribly unfair. I say this whilst not looking you directly in the eyes. Kinda like Harry Hamlin’s character in “Clash of the Titans”…but not because I’m afraid you’ll turn me to stone.
AB’s last blog post..Don’t make me color with “Asparagus”.
May I kiss the Royal hand? No? How ’bout the Royal heinie?
Hahahahahahaha.
Fabulous. I am so not worthy.
theotherbear’s last blog post..Brief Hiatus
I always wondered where that “grow a pair of bollocks” expression came from. Though I always preferred the Latin “huevos” instead. How did I turn this comment into being all about testicles?
Law School Hot Mama’s last blog post..Mommy and Me Music Class
I’m coming home next week. Where are you having a partay for bloggy peeps? Cause I want to Kawasaki you or something.
Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..Powerball Lottery
If I had known when I met you how famous you were I would have licked you more.
Chicky Chicky Baby’s last blog post..Chicky is a Punk
Well, I gotta tell you Jenny, if someone tells me they got Blogessed, what I’m really thinking is that they got *lucky*. Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more!
Bolloxed is still better than Botoxed.
Sandy’s last blog post..Thankful Thursday – my child
WOW! I feel so honored to be “blogessed.” Hey! I entered my son’s definition of “starbucksing” into the Urban Dictionary. Of course he doesn’t drink coffee, just chocolate milk.
Shoegirl’s last blog post..School’s Out for Spring Break! Already!
I will let you borrow my tiara if you promise not to let it clash with your shoes. Better still, send me photos of your shoes and I will let you know which to wear with the tiara or suggest where to purchase proper shoes.
Do Bloggesseseseses’s whatever, even wear tiaras?
Kelley’s last blog post..Hello Kitty. Well, Hello Kitty!!
OMG, Jenny is going all annal on us now…
~EdT.
Ed T.’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: a change in perspective
I find it fitting somehow that the closest you get to a real definition is being testicles.
Your Highness.
markira’s last blog post..Behold, I Stand At The Door And Knock
Um…I just have to say this…
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=furiousballed
Greta’s last blog post..Scales of Justice II: The Walk of Shame
Oh my God, Greta. You rock.
Also, there should be a word for being too intimidated to comment on your own blog.
Because I totally have that.
what the? how did? Greta, I’m buying you a pizza.
furiousball’s last blog post..And you folks in South Dakota? let’s go
Mmmmmmm….pizza!!!!!!!!!
Perhaps the “awesomest” part was that the Urban Dictionary username Greta was already taken. FatGreta is also my twitter name.
Greta’s last blog post..Scales of Justice II: The Walk of Shame
I have never been Bloggessed. However, I have often been referred to as a Bloglodyte.
…yeah, I know it’s not a good thing.
I wish I could post an awesome comment that would cause people to spit coffee out their noses. But I can’t top the awesomeness of Furiousball. Seriously. What’s better than Scrotal Tornado?
Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..LOST S4ep7
Your Majesty, I humbly thank you for giving me credit. I’m not sure what it’s called when your name appears in an actual POST by Her Highness Herself, the exalted Bloggess, but it’s probably worth a lot. I can probably skate on this one for about 3 weeks!
I’ll leave you now, curtsying as I slowly back away with my eyes to the ground. And yes, even though I am a man, I prefer the curtsy to the bow, it just seems more elegant.
Michael’s last blog post..TT # blah! 13 things I do, other than work.
You killed my cat by means of human parvo?!?
Hottdog’s last blog post..What in the H E L L is wrong with you people?
Will you sign your name on my left boob with a Sharpie?
Sonia’s last blog post..Happy Blank, Dumb Dora!
WTF???
Because I a)have no life, and b)am a textbook example of narcissism, I just clicked on the link you gave to my blog, all I can say is “why you dirty….“, some day I’ll get you.
Willowtree’s last blog post..Not another pet clip?!
Hey, I just realised I’ve been Bloggessed, and not in a good way either.
Willowtree’s last blog post..Not another pet clip?!
No one is ever Bloggessed in a good way. It’s like being probed by aliens. Even if it’s enjoyable you still feel dirty afterward.
you’ll always be nonexistent to me, babe.
kissy-phone kiss.
lildb’s last blog post..blog poo.
p.s. you say that last thing like feeling dirty is bad.
nooooon.
lildb’s last blog post..blog poo.
HEY! You said my skinny ankles were the new black! Now you’re saying “Kawasakied” is the new black! LOL!
Shoegirl’s last blog post..I Am a Domestic Diva
Ok … I totally want to be bloggessed. But I’m thinking MY definition is different and somewhat dirtier than that of Urban Dictionary.
That’s hilarious. I want one.
diesel’s last blog post..Iron Man Caption Contest Winners
All right you, Dread Lady of Blogsylvania, I feel so blessed now. I can say that I knew you when. When what? I don’t know.
Lawyer Mama’s last blog post..Our Newest Family Member
so since you stopped by and commented on my blog…can I say I’ve been officially “bloggessed” I feel like I’m in the presence of a rock starlet…
Amy Castellano’s last blog post..just look at those dimples….
You. Are. The. Coolest. Seriously.
white trash mom’s last blog post..Tampon Crafts: Easter Bunny
Do you have like a “I’ve been Bloggessed” badge I can sport on my blog?… Oh hell, you know I’m gonna ask this eventually so let’s skip the formalities already and tattoo it on my bum.
BusyDad’s last blog post..I Would So Rock the Interview
Pray tell, did you look up Willowtree?
Meh, the last, brutal leg of this pregnancy is making me snarky.
amanda’s last blog post..Gurgles
You are so wrong for that!
Your excellency,
I’ve got nothing to compare to your coolness. And I think being Bloggessed sounds cooler than be Kawasakied.
Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..Oh, How The Mighty Have Fallen
Blogfuck. I’m still stuck on that one. If I can be a blogwhore AND get a blogfuck in the process, life would be, like, WOAH, totally perfect. 🙂
Claudia’s last blog post..What the HELL are we doing?
Bolloxed is also a lovely way of saying ‘Woo! Too much booze/ weed/ tamazepam for me, I need to go to bed’ – at least in England anyway, y’know, when we aren’t drinking tea and that.
x
Little Kid’s last blog post..Joe Abercrombie Review
so since you stopped by and commented on my blog…can I say I’ve been officially “bloggessed” I feel like I’m in the presence of a rock starlet…