Canadian money is pretty much useless

in International incidents, James Garfield for Sainthood, mixing medications, no one thinks this is funny but me, Posts that will get me hate mail, Random Crap, why the terrorists hate us

Yesterday someone mailed me cash for a James Garfield ChrisKwanzaaKahRfield card but instead of real money they sent me a Canadian $10 bill.  Which is kind of fucked up because 1) I wasn’t aware that Canada had different money than normal people and 2) I don’t even know what Canadian money is supposed to look like so for all I know someone made this on their printer and is just fucking with me.  It looked suspect:

His popped collar says "I'm a bad-ass" but his face says" I never got a puppy".
Side 1: His popped collar says "I'm a fuckin' bad-ass" but his face says"I never got a puppy".
When the doves cry.
Man at the gate: "No, you *can't* come into Canada. This is *our* socialized medicine. Not yours. Nice catch, Canadian ghost Mountie. Not sure why you felt you needed binoculars though. Honestly, they're like three feet in front of you."

I asked Victor what I should do with it and he said he’d take care of it which means “You’ll never see that $10 again” so no thank you, Victor.  Instead I went to the grocery store and decided to use it there.  I figured that I couldn’t buy American stuff with it so instead I picked up $10 worth of Canadian bacon but when I got to the checkout the cashier just looked at me suspiciously like I was some kinda counterfeiter and she told me I had to use real money.  Then I was all “This is real money.  I’m pretty sure it’s a Canadian ten dollar bill” and she was like “You can’t use Canadian money here” and I’m all “But I’m buying Canadian bacon.  So the Canadian parts cancel each other out”.  Then she’s all “This is ham” and I’m like “Yeah, Canadian bacon is ham.”  Then she looked confused and I’m all “I know, right?  It’s like Canada is trying to make things difficult”   Then she called her manager over and she also said she was very sorry but that I’d have to have the Canadian money exchanged.  And I’m all “That’s what I’m trying to do. I’m trying to exchange this money for bacon”.  Then she stared at me and looked at the money again like there was an answer written there and I’m all “Yes, I realize it’s Canadian money but this is Canadian bacon so if you cancel out the common denominators this makes sense.”  She still didn’t get it so I drew her a picture of how it works:

I'm not good at math but even I understood this one.
I'm not good at math but even I understood this one.

But the manager just looked at me and said again that they don’t take Canadian money because they hate Canadians and don’t understand how algebra works.  Except she didn’t say that last part, but it was implied.  Then they told me that I had to pay with real money or they wouldn’t let me have the bacon and so I just left.  I don’t even like Canadian bacon, y’all.  Instead I just gave the cash to the Salvation Army guy on the way out.  Then he was all “Oh.  Bless you.” and I’m like “Dude.  Don’t bless me.  You can’t even buy bacon with that.”

Thanks a lot, Canada.  Your money is useless here.

Comment of the day: The depressed guy looks like Bill Maher. I’d be depressed if I was Bill Maher too. ~ mommica

325 thoughts on “Canadian money is pretty much useless”

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  3. Are they trying to kill you with zombies? Because I had gone my ENTIRE LIFE WITHOUT EVER SEEING A ZOMBIE and on Saturday in Las Vegas? I saw four. I’m pretty sure that’s your fault because you said it was gonna happen that way, and I’m pretty sure it’s Canada’s fault that it’s your fault, because they’re trying to break you.

    My logic is stunning.
    .-= Miss Grace´s last blog ..Saturday in Vegas, would you like to know it? =-.

  6. When I went on a tour of the United Nations building in NYC I accidentally included a Canadian penny when paying the fee and the dude totally spotted it and totally rejected it. Boo-urns! This is why I made sure to send you an American $10! I can’t go through that pain again.

    PS that IS a real Canadian $10 bill, so at least you didn’t pass on a counterfeit to the Salvation Army People.

  10. The proof works. Costume service is just a lost art. Hopefully that money to Salvation Army will help some one have a better ChrisKwanzaaKahRfield.

  12. Bloggess, Bloggess, Bloggess, you should have had the sainted Victor check your math. This equation requires Canadian to be the numerator and bacon to be the denominator. Common denominators are for + and -, hon. Good thing there’s calculators, huh?

  13. Lots of places near the border will take Canadian money without a problem. If it’s any consolation, our local grocery stores won’t take your American bills, but they’ll take the coinage without much fuss.

    Our money is pretty!!! Wait till you see the five dollar bill with the kids playing pond hockey. Cute as a button.

    The Canadian who sent you cash in the mail shouldn’t have done that. They should know better.
    .-= Sandra Cormier´s last blog ..…And the Bronze medal goes to: =-.

  15. OK, so what you need to do is take that bill and fold it twice so that the folds go straight from top to bottom right through Sir John A’s eyeballs and then the corners of his mouth. Now make an accordion fold in order to line up the two folds you just made. Relax your folds, hold the bill at arms length and move it back and forth. As you do so, say the words “Happy! Saaaad. Happy! Saaaaad.” If you can’t make this work, tweet me at suefisher or madjustmad tonight and I will walk you through the process with Twitpic.

    FTR, it works best with the Canadian $20 bill b/c that’s the Queen and you can say “We are amused! We are not amused. We are amused! We are not amused.” instead.
    .-= Mad´s last blog ..My Regency Period Is Drawing to an End =-.

  16. Or perhaps “Customer Service” is the lost art – much like spelling and proof reading.

  18. I love that you tried to resolve the situation by buying Canadian bacon. Awesome.

    I lived in Canada for 3 years and it took me about a year to realize that the different valued bills are different colors. More evidence for the case file that Canadian money is a not so distant cousin to Monopoly money…
    .-= Boston Mamas´s last blog ..Eco-Friendly Face Paints =-.

  22. That’s very funny!

    Believe it or not I found out you can’t get rid of an American $20.00 here in Canada. No one will take it. Had to sell it for $15.00 Canadian to a guy off the street. I think I got ripped off. I would have taken bacon.

  23. If you hang it on your ChristmasKwanzaa tree, the shiny tinsel part catches the light and sends socialist messages beaming through your home. It’s very pretty, isn’t it?
    .-= Stephanie´s last blog ..Twinkle Toes =-.

  24. Leaving aside their useless pretend money, those Canadian bastards stole our ham and tried to pass it off as the greatest food to ever come out of Our Great Nation. So I don’t understand why we’re neck deep in the Middle East. They don’t even like bacon there.

    (And even though I just offended everyone in the world, I didn’t really mean to.)

  26. We fuck with everyone that way…not just Americans. But seriously, we eat real bacon here and we are well aware that our monopoly money is not taken seriously abroad. They probably sent you the $ 10 because it is purple and that makes it even funnier than our $ 5 and $ 20 bills. And what did you expect Canadians to pay for a genuine and original James Garfield card with? Funny card = funny money.

    P.S. That isn’t a mountie. Merry Giftmas, Jenny
    .-= melistress´s last blog ..Arachne’s Gift =-.

  27. Dude, that’s like tossing a gum wrapper into the red kettle! (Which, by the way, is almost as bad as trying to pass off ham as bacon.)

    I knew James Garfield would change you.

  28. Next time you get some Canadian cash, you can send it my way. I’ll exchange it for you.. I’ll even send you the Canadian bacon. Or perhaps some Canadian whiskey.. good thing buddy didn’t send you payment in Euros.
    .-= Beth Warren ´s last blog ..My First Boyfriend.. =-.

  29. See, I was with you until you said you didn’t like Canadian Bacon. EVERYONE likes Canadian Bacon. It’s from a secret part of the pig that only Canadian pig farmers know about. Of course, up here, we call it “Back Bacon”, which probably spoils where the secret part of the pig is.
    .-= Jason´s last blog ..You Klingon Bastard =-.

  31. Whoa, Canadian coins are magnetic? (says the commenter above me)

    So Canada really IS useless. Because you carry their coins, their magnetic force kills your credit card and then you’re just stuck with fucking coins that stick to a refrigerator but can’t even buy you any damned bacon.

    Well played, Canada.

  32. First, Canadian bacon is NOT ham. You’ve been lied to. Canadian Bacon is way fucking better than ham.

    Second, I once worked in customer service for a trade show display company and this one time at show site, some American came to our desk to complain that the pop machine didn’t give him the exchange on the $2 U.S. he just used to buy a Pepsi. At first I told him that he’d need to complain to the building people because I had nothing to do with the pop machines, then I said he was lucky because Canadian quarters WON’T even work in an American vending machine. Thanks to Canada’s niceness and acceptance of his foreign currency, he didn’t go thirsty. Then I just laughed at him uncontrollably for being so stupid.

    Third, Americans are needlessly paranoid of Canadian money. For example, this is probably the funniest thing I’ve ever read http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/world/spy-coin-revealed-washingtons-doubts/article1386516/ (next to your blog of course). Canada, we’re like the KGB with our money yo!

  33. I would have kept it. The weird colors and the tinsely bits remind me of my beloved Euro. But it’s a shame that they didn’t understand your simple mathematical proof of why they owed you bacon. Because that’s some mathematically sound shit.

  35. James Garfield was the head of the High Holy Pork Tribe. Now the tribe council is watching your every move and probably intervened when you tried to buy bacon/ham. The minutes from last month’s Pork Tribe meeting clearly stated that whomever owned the remains of James must abstain from pork products. The supermarket is in on this. They’re watching you. (insert twilight zone music)

  37. “But the manager just looked at me and said again that they don’t take Canadian money because they hate Canadians and don’t understand how algebra works. Except she didn’t say that last part, but it was implied.”

    …so what I think you’re saying is that it’s implied that they suck at algebra, and that they don’t take Canadian money AND they hate Canadians?
    Maybe that’s why the guy with the popped collar on their dollar (do they even CALL it a dollar in Canadialand?!) is so depressed – he never got a ham. Or bacon. Or a pig.

    PS – It totally says 10 Dix on that bill. How did you miss that opportunity?

  38. After reading the comments about how Canadians fold their money and make it talk, I’m a little disappointed in American currency. All you can do is fold it up to look like a green bird – snore.

    At least I can console myself by buying bacon with American money.

  39. i don’t understand canada, or canadians, but i do like a few celebs from there, like, Ryan Gosling and Ryan Reynolds. i have traveled there on several occasions and did not enjoy myself. quebec was cool, but they don’t consider themselves “canadian.” like that bill. very creative. wouldn’t mind it if our cash had some images of celebs, like Oprah or Brangelina.
    .-= Kiki´s last blog ..While The Cat’s Away, This Mouse Gets Fat =-.

  40. Ha ha ha! You know, I only just found out this year that Canadian bacon is just gross ham with cornmeal on the edges. I’d never seen it before and I’ve lived in Canada all my life.

    Gosh, our money is gorgeous. You should frame that bill. I’d send you a fancy red $50 bill so you can see how even more pretty IT is, if it wasn’t real money here in LeprechaunFairySocialistVille. I need it to buy me some American bacon and Canadian hookers.
    .-= Natasha´s last blog ..Resist the Pretzels: A Poem =-.

  42. I live in Canada and I work at this retail place, and the other day somebody tried to pay me with a U.S. one dollar COIN. And I was like, “Dude, not cool.” And he was all “Oh. I figured you wouldn’t catch that. Since you have one dollar coins here.” And then a few days later we found another one of these suspicious US dollar coins in the cash tray and realized that one of our other employees had clearly failed to notice it and creepy-one-dollar-coin-man had gotten the best of us after all.

    My point is, we should all just use the same damn money. That would solve everything.
    .-= Sarah´s last blog ..sometwine:asstastic:fakemustache:runningred:aslowmotiondr… =-.

  43. Having lived in Canada for over a year now, I’m still not used to the jacked-up money. And all my Canadian friends make fun of me cos American money is all green! Once, my now-husband and I were in Walmart in St. Louis; I’d given him some US cash to pay. He looks down into his wallet and says in exasperation, “How do you tell them all apart?!” And I, without missing a beat, turn to him and said, “Cos we can READ.”
    .-= Jaka Merriman´s last blog ..Coming to Terms with My Hair =-.

  44. OMG! There’s a world outside of the US…and they use “different” money!?!? Who knew???

  45. I totally understood your math (Even though it was apparently wrong as posted above). Of course, my mantra is “math is stupid” because math and I get along like 2 teenage girls fighting over the cute boy that sits between them in class.

    My husband made me cry when he was trying to explain something from my math class to me. It was remedial algebra y’all and I was 34 years old. Maybe that was more my husbands fault than the math though.. Hmm. Stupid husband.

  47. They totally should have given you the Canadian Bacon, even though as Karen pointed out Canadian Bacon is not ham. It would have made up for one of my past transgressions where I wondered in the Middle of American Nowhere if I could get away with purchasing a can of soda with Canadian Tire money. (http://en.wikipedia.or/wiki/Canadian_Tire_money) I could! The only scrutiny I got was “y’all got paper money for 5 cents?”

    I also agree with Kara’s comment that it makes it far easier to pay cab fare when drinking. I actually have to stop and READ American money whereas in Canada I just have to look in my wallet and pull out blue, purple, or green accordingly. Red or brown are WAY too long a cab ride and aren’t in my wallet NEAR often enough.
    .-= Robynn´s last blog ..An Obsessive-Compulsive Christmas Party Tally =-.

  48. Ya, because having to examine them when you’re paying your 15 hookers is a sensible set-up. No room for error there, Jaka.

    American money is ugly. Canadian money is pretty. That’s really all their is to it.

    And in New Zealand they use this totally cool space-age plastic money that’s pretty AND lasts 6 months longer. Or something like that.

    But the US is too busy talking the world into liking them to catch up to the rest of the world in beautifying money. Oh, and health care. And maternity leave.
    .-= Natasha´s last blog ..Resist the Pretzels: A Poem =-.

  50. Just be thankful that you did not receive loose change. In Canada our $1 is a ‘Loonie’ and our $2 is a ‘Toonie’….I mean we have loonie tunes money!!!!!!! It is embarrassing to be sure but we are strong. We have to be. We also love and adore The Bloggess and would vote for you to be Prime Minister if you would immigrate to Canada and become a citizen and run for office. I mean, just look at what we have now? You could so help us. Think about it….and have some pity. I realize you can’t possibly help every country in the whole world but we are your neighbours….and we need help.
    .-= Azzah´s last blog ..Sprinkled with Angel dust…. =-.

  51. Well, at least they didn’t pay you in ten $1 coins. Then you would have had to say “but I have here 10 loonies” and they would have quietly taken you by the arm and sent you away somewhere with nice padded walls for a while.

  52. TL;DR until Bacon..

    What’s all this about bacon? Real bacon or Canadian Bacon, because Everyone knows that Canadian Bacon is just ham with a superiority complex.
    .-= Kitten´s last blog ..Hysteria =-.

  54. The funny thing is that when my mother recently saw some American money (I was with her, but I don’t know how much the bill was worth because I didn’t get close enough to read it and you people DON’T COLOUR CODE YOUR CASH) she turned to me and gaped. “It looks like Monopoly money!” she exclaimed. “Why do they use something that looks so fake?”

    I couldn’t help but laugh, knowing that Americans think OUR money looks fake. Good times.

  57. You actually can’t cancel out common denominators. It has to be a numerator and a denominator. So:

    Canadian / Bacon = $10 / Bacon

    $10 / $10 Canadian = $10 / Canadian Bacon

    Therefore, via the Transitive Property,

    $10 / Canadian Bacon = $10 / $10 Canadian

    So either way, you win.

  60. I’ve always thought he looked more like Bill Maher than Barry Manilow, personally.

    Love,
    A Crazy Canuck

  63. So many takes on who the depressed guy is! I thought he looks suspiciously like he might be related to Martin Short. Then the rest of the post made laugh too much to think about it anymore.
    .-= Barb´s last blog ..A Private Hurt =-.

  66. Their money might be useless, but it’s all artistic and tells a story like some crazy Canadian tapestry. Our 10 dollar bill has the depressed guy, but no tinsel or flowers or gatekeepers or anything. Just a picture of the treasury. Like “Look, bitches. This is where this money came from. Because this is America, yo!”
    .-= The Introvert´s last blog ..empathy =-.

  72. If x/y = z/y, then of course you can cancel to give x = z (unless y is infinite, but Canada isn’t, although it’s pretty big). I think you’ll find you can’t cancel numerators. And a numerator doesn’t “cancel” a denominator. If this what they teach in American schools, it’s becoming clearer how the financial crisis started.

  77. That is hilarious. And yes, I am Canadian. The old dude is a former Prime Minister. The tinsel is a security feature, and yes, that is indeed a real $10 bill…worth about $9 American. Actually the grocery store, what they did was illegal and you should so sue their ass….for a lifetime supply of Canadian baconham.
    .-= Dual Mom´s last blog ..Just Shoot Me Now =-.

  78. Okay, here is why Canadian money isn’t usesless.

    1. you can use it everywhere in canada. which is more surface area than the whole usa.

    2. the pictures and poems on the bill are not stupid, they are excellent and amusing. if you are on a bus and you forgot to bring something to read or listen to, just open your wallet and pull out some bills, and they will keep you occupied for at least four minutes.

    3. our bills are all different colors, so it’s super easy to find the denomination you want when there’s a big lineup behind you at a cash register. i’ve been in american lineups before, and trying to find an american twenty among the many one dollar bills i tend to have in my wallet (because i’m pretty low-income) is insanely stressful.

    4. canadian money actually fits in my wallet. i don’t know if us canadians get specially made wallets sent here (which i definitely doubt, because most people are in your boat and don’t think canada is worth the effort) or what, but american money is too long and gets all scrunched up in my wallet whenever i make a trip to the states, while canadian money is shorter and fits just perfectly.

    so you see, canadian money isn’t useless, it’s very considerate of your feelings and tries to minimize your inconvenience whenever possible. well, i guess unless you’re in the states, in which case your inconvenience is multiplied by our money not being accepted. but i say that’s a problem with the store, not with the money.

    finally, you shouldn’t hate on canada too much because if you came here with american money and tried to buy american (er…regular…) bacon, we’d definitely take your money. and probably even give you an awesome exchange rate back with your change, too. cuz we’re awesome like that.
    .-= meg´s last blog ..a peaceful tuesday inspiration =-.

  80. In Canada, we call “Canadian” bacon Peameal bacon…which I don’t even think is a thing

    unless there is some country of Peamealians out there, in which case, I’m sorry

  81. A couple of months ago, I was paying for some stuff at the health food store and I wanted to pay with exact change, but the snooty checkout guy was all, “This penny is Canadian. We can’t take that! Sorry.” And I was all, “Oh no, you fuckin’ di’nt!” And then it was ON! I had to find someone else to pass that penny off onto! It was kinda silly because, it’s just a penny and since this isn’t 1868, that won’t buy a lot, but I felt so used! It was the principle of the thing. Fortunately, the next person took it with barely a glance so I was able to calm down and go on with my life.

  82. We call our dollars “Loonies.” I feel it says a lot about Canada in general.

  88. American ugly ignorance rears its head again. good bloody grief, i actually thought The Bloggess had more wit than this. very sad. you are unfollowed.

  89. Meanwhile, Sarah Palin behind you in line is all “get out of here with your fucking commie/socialistic money. if you don’t like America enough to have Amerincan money than get the fuck out” Why Sarah Palin would be in Texas, I don’t know. Maybe on her book tour?
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..Internet, I’m Warm!! =-.

  90. Well, when I first finished reading the post, I laughed and then gave serious thought to going all postal on your ass for dissing Canadians. Keep in mind we’re your nicest neighbour. Don’t make us pull out our secret weapon (which happens to be a dictionary because it seems you Americans can’t spell worth shite).

    But, after reading all of the comments and laughing so hard I had to pee, I just couldn’t do it. Hilarious post and hilarious comments. See, I end with a compliment because I’m nice like that. I’m Canadian. 😉

    PS: don’t be jealous that our money is prettier than yours.
    .-= CynthiaK´s last blog ..From the mind of Max =-.

  93. Just try accidentally using a Canadian quarter in a vending machine and having it spit back out at you over and over and over, taunting you, making you painfully aware that the only thing connecting you and sanity in your dismal little work day is the gross little packet of powdered doughnuts three inches behind the glass—I bet the vending machine wishes it could say ‘bless you’ .

  94. Now, when you say Canadians have different money than normal people. . . You’ve just returned from Japan, where one can only assume you saw foreign currency. Does that mean Japanese people are abnormal too? Or maybe you assumed Canadians all used the Yen because that’s what “normal” foreigners use? Either way, I’m just going to assume that you’re prejudiced against the Swiss and their francs.
    You should be ashamed. The Swiss have chocolate, wildflowers, white, holey cheese and hiding places full of Nazi gold.

  95. What the frick are you people talking about with the algebra. This is totally correct. If bacon is the unknown, it totally works out.
    we’ll call bacon B, so

    B/Canadian = 10/ Canadian
    cross out the Canadian
    B= 10
    So Bacon = 10$

    same as in the drawing but with words.

    and also, I think the Canadian money should be an incentive to go to Canada and use the money. and while you’re there, please have events where we can hear you speak!!

  96. DUDE! I can’t even tell you how many posts I have put up where I have pointed out to Canada that they can just suck it because that is NOT BACON! Also, what do they DO!? For the longest time, I simply assumed it was uninhabited.

    We should alert North Dakota to watch them. I totally suspect they’re up to no good.
    .-= michel´s last blog ..Dear US Embassy Doctor, =-.

  97. @ Jeremy Wright

    Canada: America’s Hat.
    America: Canada’s Underwear.

    It appears Canada can wear itself as a hat on its own ass.
    Canada is its own asshat.
    Fabulous, flexible, fun! Very popular at the right sort of parties I’ll bet.

  98. Some asshat sent me $3,000 worth of Japanese money orders at work. That will go down in history as one of the most annoying sequences of events I’ve experienced while managing a mail order company. Banks wouldn’t touch them and the local post office looked at them as though I had hand drawn them in my spare time. Good times.
    .-= Mary´s last blog ..Bloggy Holiday Card Exchange =-.

  99. That salvation army guy is going to be pissed. Why don’t we just barter again. Shit would be so simpler. But no everybody has to get in on the money making business. I blame monopoly.
    .-= mepsipax´s last blog ..Taken Tuesday 2 =-.

  100. There’s an even bigger problem amidst, Bloggess.

    I haven’t read all of the comments, but nobody in even the first 24 bothered to mention that the Canadian dollar is worth $0.94 to our $1.oo (as of the last time I googled it which was about 34.6 seconds ago). Now, I’m not a math genius, but if you take the $0.94 and multiply it by 10, that should be $9.40. Whoever sent you that Canadian “$10.00” was clearly trying to rip you off.

    This also means that if you WERE able to use the Canadian “$10.00” to purchase your Canadian bacon, you may not have even had enough. Then, the cashier would have started shit with you because you would have owed her more money and you would have been like “NO, look at it. It says $10.00”, but you would have been wrong, and probably landed a prime spot in the Harris County Penetentary or whatever kind of pokey they have in Houston.

    With all that being said, I have attached a link here to the exchange website. This way you don’t get ripped off again.
    http://www.x-rates.com/d/USD/table.html
    You.
    Are.
    Welcome.
    .-= Jenn´s last blog ..Post-Note Tuesday: 100 Friggin’ Posts Y’all! =-.

  101. Dear Mike who posted the following:

    “American ugly ignorance rears its head again. good bloody grief, i actually thought The Bloggess had more wit than this. very sad. you are unfollowed.

    You sir, are an idiot.

  102. Wow. As a proud Canadian who finds this post fucking hilarious, I feel really sorry for “stupid girl who wasted time reading your blog” and “mike” who were clearly born with a sense of humor slightly less than that of a turnip. Tragic, really. There’s got to be some kind of surgery for that.
    .-= Robynn´s last blog ..Dear ANYBODY who can read Japanese, =-.

  103. Pingback: TheBloggess: http://thebloggess.com/?p=5026 Canada is trying to destroy me. – Twitter of the Day

  104. Ha! I am surprised they did not call security or at least had you escorted out of the store.

  105. Yeah, but did you send her the totally awesome James Garfield ChrisKwanzaaKahRfield card BEFORE or AFTER you tried to buy the Canadian bacon with the useless money from Canadia?

    p.s. is “fuching” a real word or was that poster trying to curse at you politely?

  106. I thought we already talked about this. No good can come of you doing math. Just walk away.

  109. Pingback: George G Smith Jr's No Sense of Time | Canadian money is pretty much useless — TheBloggess.com

  110. I can’t believe those idiots at the grocery store not only didn’t understand basic logic but also didn’t understand your equation and drawing. You pretty much spelled it out for them and they made you leave empty handed with the Canadian Bacon or ham or whatever the hell that shit is called. Sorry for your loss!
    .-= Rob´s last blog ..My Baby Loves Chicken Nuggets =-.

  112. The math is correct, provided that Canadian is not equal to zero, because division by zero is undefined.

  113. The clear solution here is to destroy war on Canada for being all uppity with their socialized medicine, colored mountie money, and ham-bacon. Jerks.
    .-= Erin´s last blog ..Ornamental =-.

  115. People are idiots. I gave my girl a Danish Kroner coin to buy a $1 ride ticket at our summer street fair, and the guy wouldn’t take it. I explained to him that one Kroner is worth $5 U.S., and he’d be making money, plus it was a stupid overpriced slide, but he wouldn’t give in.
    .-= Edgy Mama´s last blog ..Round-up: brews news and more =-.

  117. Ok, now I’m asking for your un-personal-professional-private address to send you some real shit : European money.
    In exchange for a James G. card.
    We don’t send money solely for entertainment.
    We’re not that dumb.
    Yet.

  119. Lol… Canada Has different money than normal people? Too funny. But the Canadian Money is almost at par and will actually surpass the American dollar value in a few months. But dont worry, those of you who did not spend your self into a debt filled hell will be buying our Canadian Oil to warm what homes you have left! HA!

    http://www.Calgarydaddy.com

    Home of the Blue Eyed Shieks!

    Note: This is sarcasim…(kinda) I love your post.
    .-= Calgarydaddy´s last blog ..Six Months Smoke Free! =-.

  121. moooooooooog35 beat me to it. Denominators don’t cancel each other. However, since that is a division problem and “canadian” is in the denominator, times both sides by “canadian” over 1. That would cancel “canadian” with result “bacon = 10”. I took the liberty of removing the $ because that is the symbol for USD and if you’re trying to cancel Canada, what the hell are you doing throwing the US dollar in the mix? Maybe because Canada is attached to the US. I get it now. We’re attaching ourselves to Canada and bacon costs $10. Which, by the way, is the most expensive fucking bacon ever.
    .-= Motherofthemonth´s last blog ..My shopping list for Thanksgiving dinner a la Eric =-.

  122. I would like to make the nomination that “Canada” be changed to “Canadia.” For some reason “Canadia” has a lot more strength, vibrancy and sense to it, to me, than regular ole “Canada.”

  123. Heh. When that new $10.00 bill came out, I was in the Canadian military, and I managed to convince EVERYONE I KNEW that I posed for the image of the soldier with the binoculars on the back of the bill.

    Also, a note to all you Americans out there, acting like our money is shocking and terrible, have you never been to Mexico? Their small bills (20 and 50 pesos) appear to be made of some sort of plastic, I think so that US and CDN tourists can keep it in their pockets when they go to the swim-up bars. So really, purple and holographic isn’t so bad!

  124. Will jokes about Canada ever die? It’s kinda ridonk that us Americans make fun of Canadian money and Canada in every sense (Blame Canada in South Park, for instance), but the second we’re made fun of we can’t take it. Let’s make some less cliche jokes, shall we? And try doing what Canada does and make fun of ourselves once in a while …

    Oh wait, they can do it back. http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-7111005509913775935#

  125. Yeah, I’m kinda done with all the Canada jokes. Not following anymore.

  126. Hey Mike,
    As an American, I take offense to your comment and think I can speak on behalf of all Americans when I say, “Fuck off.” That’s French for “nobody likes you, anyway.” And if I’m so ignorant, how do I know how to speak French? Boo ya! Can you smell the sizzle, Mike? That’s America.
    .-= MayoPie´s last blog ..Vaginas Vagina Vaginas Vagina Vaginas Vagina =-.

  127. I wish you had given it to me. I live in Vermont. I could have used it as an excuse to convince my husband to go to IKEA in Montreal and we could have lunch and bought lunch for like 10 other people there with that $10 bill. sigh.

  128. “Thanks a lot, Canada. Your money is useless here.”
    Dude. You’re welcome. American (uh, I mean, ‘normal’ and ‘real’) money is just as useless here in Canada, unless you go to the bank.

    And Canadian money has security features, like watermarks and stuff. Even Canadian Tire money has security features. It has little triangles that show up under a black light. I know. I worked there. I’ve even seen counterfeit Canadian Tire money when I worked there.) Which is just fucked up, because they give it out at a rate of 10% of what you spend. So Canadian Tire money comes in denominations of 5 cents and 10 cents and 25 cents, etc. The biggest ‘bills’ are $1 & $2. So Mr. Counterfeit Crappy Tire Money must have printed off a LOT of phoney bills. Cause that’s how we roll in Canada.

  129. Aw geez- couldn’t you use your noodle and work something out like cut off a small piece of Canadian ham to allow for the exchange rate and then Canadian $10 would have been fine for sure. And the reason Canadians have monopoly money is that when we are sort of drunk we can still tell how much money we are paying instead of like giving away $50 instead of $5 because it all looks the same.
    .-= Anna´s last blog ..Rained on Our Parade! =-.

  131. I’m a little surprised that you didn’t include a link to run this through http://www.bacolicio.us, which is, of course, the proper way to view any website, but particularly those containing posts discussing bacon. Further, bacolicio.us ends in what now? That’s right, US. Because it’s a United States domain, as is bacon. What does Canada have? Probably http://www.formi.ca, which makes a piece of countertop hover above the text, because with their crappy-ass food, formica is likely just as drooled over as bacon is here. U-S-A! U-S-A!

  132. I love you people. For real. All of you. Even the two of you who don’t understand that this whole post is actually making fun of me rather than Canada. For God’s sake, I’m doing math with bacon. Also, if you post angry comments multiple times as different people but they all have the same IP address you are just confusing me more. Are you several people all in the same house who don’t like me or are you just one person with a lot of spare time? Helpful hint: If you want to look like multiple people you should go to the Apple store and leave lots of comments from multiple laptops. That way it’s pretty much untraceable and you look like a whole hoard of angry people instead of just one crazy person. That’s what I always do.

    PS. Victor just yelled at me for doing the bacon algebra wrong. This is why I’m not allowed to do math.

    PPS. Wait a minute. Is it possible that the angry person is actually Victor? Fuck. Ignore the angry person, y’all. I think this might be a private domestic dispute. Which will be settled by me throwing Victor’s laptop into the bathtub.

  134. The Bloggess Lover-
    I don’t know what country you live in, but we make fun of ourselves ALL THE TIME. We poke fun at our government, our eating habits, our fashion, our materialism, our addiction to technology… EVERYTHING. We do NOTHING BUT make fun of ourselves. Sheez. And hey, how did you make your name so big? Are you a wizard?
    .-= MayoPie´s last blog ..Vaginas Vagina Vaginas Vagina Vaginas Vagina =-.

  136. It’s real easy to make fun of Canada, but the truth of the matter is Canada has given us some really great artists, like Shelby Bell, Lanny Barbie and Joni Mitchell, and let’s face it: their weed is better, easier to come by, and you can buy it for monopoly money. That’s why they’re so goddamn laid back, and that’s why I love them, and there will always be a place in my heart and home for a weed bearing Canadian babe.
    By the way, I was not sure for a moment I spelled “bearing” properly, checked it and apparently Bearing is also: “The female genital tract.”
    Truth.
    .-= Josh Almighty´s last blog ..I effin hate the holidays =-.

  140. Hahah … Bloggess, there’s about seven people at my work that all read this blog. So yeah. That, and we’re all discussing this rather controversial post. There’s a good chance we’re all on the same IP address, leaving snarky and not-so-snarky comments … it’s what we do. We’s snarky and we likes the controversy. And we loves the Bloggess.

    Although, it would be so much more interesting if it were just one person with multiple personalities, wouldn’t it? Like that movie? You know, that one with the guy and the thing in the place and then the stuff happens?
    .-= Miss Rosa´s last blog ..My Tushy Likes It Cushy =-.

  141. I think the unfollowing is hilarious. Why not just unfollow and not say anything. Do they have to tell you they’re not following anymore? Does it hurt your feelings to know a WHOLE household doesn’t follow you anymore??
    Well I will have my whole household follow you to make up for it.
    There’s four of us. And only one computer, so that should make it easy right?
    Then you’ll get crazy messages from my 3 year old, because he can’t spell.
    .-= Randa´s last blog ..Saturday Night Live =-.

  142. Thats fucked up. Now the Salvation Army people are going to have to go EVEN MORE out of their way to help people because they have a Canadian bill they need to exchange and they cant just throw it away because it’s the Salvation Army and they arent allowed to throw anything away so my point is Canada just made it harder for homeless people to get stuff.

    basically.
    .-= Matt´s last blog ..I dont always find what I look for but I always find something =-.

  143. The problem isn’t that you used Canadian money in the States, it’s that you used it in Texas. My years in Texas taught me many things
    1. Different is wrong.
    2. Foreign is different and therefore wrong.
    3. Aggies and Longhorns are apparently some kind of university sports reference….who don’t like each other.

    Anyway, next time you end up with Canadian money you can send it to me and I’ll send you bacon (or ham or whatever the heck you were trying to buy)

  144. I’m with MayoPie. Why it The Bloggess Lover all huge? Because it links to a video? How is that fair, Victor? Jenny, they keep their money special like that so we don’t steal it. America is like the lousy roommate who always takes your yogurt and looses the rolling papers.

  145. dear bloggess, i love you. i don’t understand how anyone could *not* love you or understand your bacon-math. i’m a vegetarian and even *i* understand bacon-math. in new york we kind of look the other way with canadian coins; but really, canadian monies are worth less ergo are worthless. if i were the cashier, i would have just told you to grab the bacon and make a run for it.

    (geez, is comment #88 actually serious??? wtf, grow a pair, man.)

  146. The Dead Acorn said:
    “Can you trace the IP address of the angry commenter to Utah? I bet it’s Heather Armstrong.”

    That made me almost pee my pants. Awsm.
    .-= N´s last blog ..Is God Dead? =-.

  147. Victor was right thought, wasn’t he? If you just gave it to him in the first place, no embarrassing bacon mistakes. No donation to the SA either though so you are vindicated. Tonight the math dragon at our house will make the kids do bacon math. The color coded money tip was so helpful Kara. Yeah, Canada!

  148. AND, have you noticed that the Canadians also talk funny?

    Why do we let them be a country?

  150. I got a James Garfield card from a guy that is trying to “woo” me…..and it worked! Thanks Jenny!

  151. While browsing the comments, I found this:

    Sasha (December 15, 2009 at 11:38 am):
    I’M SORRY!

    An apology. So I guess the Canadians have Catholic/Jewish Mother guilt? Not the point. Point is, Canadian money is completely useless. I mean, think about it: you just wrote a whole post on peice of purple paper with a depressed guy on it. Canadian money is great for inspiration, but bad for Canadian bacon.

    Go figure.

    Either way, this seems like a win-win situation to me.

  153. I lived for a time near the Canadian border. I lived there so long that I was used to seeing Canadian money, turning it in for “real” money, etc. Then I moved to the deep south – and I still had a boatload of Canadian change in jars. I rolled them up with my “real” change and took it to the bank. Boy, did I get in trouble! They had me nabbed for a counterfeiter, fer sure, eh?
    .-= Jane´s last blog ..Tunes for Tuesday – The Show =-.

  155. 1. That was REALLY expensive ham/Canadian bacon. Unless it wasn’t. I don’t know. We don’t buy it.

    2. I’m impressed with your math skills. You should be a teacher.

  156. All the “haters” aren’t actually real Canadians. Real Canadians, of course are all:

    “OH MY FUCKING GAWWWWWD!!!! THE BLOGGESS IS TALKING ABOUT CANADA!!!
    (ohmeygawdohmeygawdohmeygawd)”

    And running around weeping and waving their (our) arms around. Kind of like when Anne Murray looks out into the audience at you and winks at you.
    .-= harmzie´s last blog ..Girly Bible =-.

  157. the “Dix” beside the Ten is Ten in FRENCH.. my god!
    I never wanted to assume when people said Americans were oblivious of everyone but themselves , but reading this post and the comments from most people, I would now have to agree with them.

  158. “You owe me bacon”. I think I just wet my pants laughing. Which is inconvenient, as I’m at work.

  159. You know what we call Canadian bacon in Canada?

    Ham.

    And, seriously did you do this instead of just taking it to the bank? For real? You could have sent it to me if you didn’t want to exchange it. 🙂
    .-= Holly @ Domestic Dork´s last blog ..525,600 Minutes =-.

  160. See, we should just switch to bacon as currency – except for the middle east – they can still use oil, or sand, or whatever . . . . and speaking of America’s hat – eff ’em, eh?
    .-= Matt´s last blog ..Credit Crises =-.

  161. Dear Proud To Be Canadian,
    WTF? (or QLF? in français)
    You wrote, “I never wanted to assume when people said Americans were oblivious of everyone but themselves , but reading this post and the comments from most people, I would now have to agree with them.” Is that supposed to be in English?
    If you’re going to pick on people for being oblivious you should at least work on your grammar prior to hitting the post button. Seriously.
    And as for all of the “un-followers”, isn’t that a Twitter thing? Why are you posting it here?
    Cordially,
    Michael

  162. I agree with MayoPie, and let me add that Barry Manilow is not aging well.

    As far as the binoculars, everyone knows that Canadians are near-sighted. I think they invented the saying, “Blind as a Mounty”.

    My math skills are not that great, but since Canada has free health care, including prescriptions, I think that Canadian bill (if it’s real) will provide you with all your healthcare needs, including a steady supply of meth, for at least a year.
    .-= Theresa Milstein´s last blog ..Closing the Floodgates =-.

  165. Canada loves you Jenny, don’t worry.

    You should have tried to use that $10 for a big plate of ‘poutine’ or ‘beaver tails’, two of Canada’s best kept culinary secrets or maybe a little bottle of maple syrup. You sheltered yanks don’t know what you are missing up here – other than a few meters of snow and temps about 20 degress CELCIUS below freezing.

    You took on Japan….I DARE you to try Canada!

  167. Ok. Here’s the deal man. That “depressed guy” is Sir John A. MacDonald. The first prime minister, or rather, in terms you’ll understand – the first faux president – of Canada. I know, it’s fucked up. America has a president and Canada has a prime minister. They usually don’t like each other. And the “tinsel” is actually a hologram. Yeah, a mutha-fuckin hologram – THAT IS HOW COOL CANADA IS. WE PUT HOLOGRAMS ON OUR MONEY! AND, on our driver’s licenses. Lastly, Canada doesn’t really send Canadian bacon to the States. We lie. It’s actually all the grounded up leftover turkey innards from our Thanksgivings re-processed to look like bacon. And then we send it to you all. That’s why we have our Thanksgiving before yours. So we have time to make the “bacon.” Canada is so the smartest fucking country in the WORLD.
    .-= CJ´s last blog ..UPDATED: A word that was supposed to be from the Bloggess. =-.

  168. Proud To Be Canadian-
    Are you actually bragging that your currency has French on it? Is that really better than penises? I don’t think so. Listen, Canadians. We love you. From your mounted policemen to the way you say “aboot.” No one is hating on Canada here (except for French Canada.) And if it makes you feel better, we’re fat. More Americans know who Lady Gaga is than our Vice President, Rudy something. In fact, right now on t.v., I’m gleefully watching people get kicked in the balls and laughing my ass off. Now I’m rewinding and watching it again. See? We suck, too. So can’t we just all get along? And for the record, I think your money is quite attractive. Too bad Canada doesn’t have stores yet.
    .-= MayoPie´s last blog ..Vaginas Vagina Vaginas Vagina Vaginas Vagina =-.

  169. At-least Canada’s currency is backed by a resource exporting / tangible goods based economy… that is to say, if you hold on to those canuck-a-bucks for say five years you may find it worth quite a bit more than then American dollars… unless Canada devalues it’s currency to keep trade with the US going, however given their governments recent extensive trade negotiations with India, China and Pakistan I don’t think they’re planning on keeping their star hitched to the US in the future…

  170. You know, i’m pretty sure that person ripped you off anyways, since, isnt their money worth less than ours or some crap like that? I was in Canada last year for my 5th wedding anniversary, to see the falls, blah blah…the best part was when we were trying to cross the border and the dude made us open all the doors of our mini van, which had 4 empty car seats strapped inside, and i’m pretty sure he wanted to arrest us right then and there for attempting to kidnap little Canadian kids to play hockey for our country…
    Anyways, their money is totally prettier than ours so they should have taken it for that damn bacon…they must not have understood your math.
    .-= Levon´s last blog ..On my own =-.

  171. Mmmmm… Bacon….

    Seriously, I have had a crappy couple days and this gave me a HUGE belly laugh. And of course I sent it on to all my useless Canadian money using Canadian friends! Thanks Blogess!

  172. See? This is why *I* sent US (real) money for my James Garfield card. Because I’m not stupid. And I’m Canadian so I’m all about not inconveniencing people. We try to be as inconspicuous as possible –it’s how we’ve gotten away with taking over the world without anyone noticing.
    .-= Kendall´s last blog ..It’s a Marshmallow World In the Winter =-.

  174. I, too, am mathetudinally challenged and your math equation makes perfect sense to me. That grocery store is money-ist. Or baconist maybe! Either way, there oughta be a law!
    .-= Kevin´s last blog ..Balance =-.

  175. Well, I’m Canadian. And proud to be Canadian. Not because Canada is so much better than anyone else (although we DO allow more swear words on our television), but because we’re so much freaking colder. (Example: my hometown, over the weekend, was at minus sixty Celsius – that’s minus seventy-five Fahrenheit. w00!) So I applaud your efforts to have our money recognized on the global market, but also agree that (though our old money was beautiful) our new money looks a bit… fake… and the tenner has way too much purple in it.
    That’s all.
    .-= Random´s last blog ..Novelling Adventures =-.

  176. 1. I wont hold you responsible for the fact that our dollar (Canadian $$) dropped at the stock exchange today…hmm..perhaps you can start talking some good stuff about a few other markets and we all could have fun
    2. Canadian money is more colourful because most of us are stoners and like the trippy effects of the tinesel
    3. There are many great security features built into the dollar bill…the numbers (there are actually 10’s all over the bill are raised, there are water marks, holligraphic image for authenticity, UV florescence that shines Bank of Canada and in yellow and red; Raised Ink, see through tabs etc..if you wanted to understand feel free to view http://www.bankofcanada.ca/en/banknotes/
    4. Canadian and American currency all works, it’s the border that fucks it all up. Ya see, when crossing the border, American quarters (money, not drugs) actually get lighter and bigger. Canadian money can’t buy bacon in the states but in Australia it does amazing things – like you could buy a kangaroo and shit! American money turns into a sad fashion accessory. It’s like shoulder pads…sometimes needed however totally impossible to coordinate with
    I am not thinking that you set off to offen the Canadian Mint; however, I am sure that if you came this way and saw how rich you actually were with the exchange, perhaps you would think twice before giving it away – rather, you could save it, drive across the border and buy Canadian Bacon and a Bever Tail….

  177. Well, YOUR money is useless here.

    Plus, it’s not even colour coded. How stupid is that, eh?

  178. I totally understand your math you should have gotten all stabby on that bitch!
    man, now I am craving bacon and dix

  180. Those Canadians. With their floppy heads and their beady eyes. 🙂

    I’m concerned about what schools are using to disinfect for H1N1. Cleaning supplies are often more hazardous than the H1N1virus itself. Here are some resources to help parents determine what their schools are using, and what they should be using: H1N1 in Schools and Environmental Working Group Report on Schools It all starts with asking your school how often they clean it (EVERY DAY should be the answer!).

  181. You *clearly* don’t live in North Idaho. Many of our cash registers have the exchange rate built right into them and you can just tell the machine it’s Canadian $ and it will do the conversion for you and tell you change in US $. Magical. But apparently many of you people southeast of Nevada don’t even know where Idaho is because when I went to Florida in 7th grade I had traveler’s checks and a guy told me he couldn’t take traveler’s checks from Canada. I was like, “Dude, they’re from Idaho.” And he was like, “Yeah, Canada.” And I was like, “Suck it, bitch.”

  182. I live in Michigan, which is practically Canada or the first line of defense against Canada, either way you look at it. We used to have Canadian change mixed in with our US change ALL THE TIME, and it was accepted on both sides of the border, even in vending machines. That was years ago before terrorists. So now vending machines won’t even take Canadian change anymore, apparently because of all the Canadian terrorists? Whatever. All the Canadians I’ve met (and I’ve met quite a few in my day) have been the nicest people ever. But also, it’s very common for Michiganders to cross the border to drink in Canada because the drinking age is 19 in Canada. Again though, that was before the terrorists when you didn’t even need a passport to go between nations. Now however, it has changed.

    There you go. A brief lesson on Canada. You can wake up now.
    .-= Andrea ´s last blog .."Give a little bit" =-.

  183. Gotta say that while the US is my favourite part of the world to visit it was nice to go to Canada and be able to sort the money easier!! Australia has ‘monopoly’ money too, although I notice that some colour is being added to US notes, thought that was so pretty when I picked up my cash for my last trip! Love how some people don’t understand the different currencies for different countries though, some of those on a tour I was doing through the US and Canada got themselves US cash, but didn’t think they would need anything different for Canada! I do love your solution to the problem of the person sending you the wrong currency!

  186. You think Canadian money is wack? Just wait ’til you see AUD. It’s made from plastic. Handy for swimming with, or washing inside of things since we’re left with useable money rather than a rather un-appetizing looking ball of paper or whatever it is USD is made out of. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banknotes_of_the_Australian_dollar

    Check it outt.
    Also – You should have just traded the Salvation Army man your $10 FOR his Canadian Bacon, thereby removing the whole having to do bacon math.
    That’s assuming the Salvation Army man had Canadian Bacon, but really, what help is he to homeless people without several packets of perishable food on his person?

  187. I can’t believe they wouldn’t let you buy Canadian Bacon with your Canadian money. Obviously they are stupid.
    Also, Northern MN also lets you use Canadian money, although not in vending machines (I didn’t know it was the terrorists’ fault – damn them!). And the drinking age in Manitoba is only 18. FYI. Most of my high school class went to the bar just over the border to “party” when we were in high school. That was before you needed a passport, obviously. Now the bar is closed down. Way to go, American government.
    .-= Becky´s last blog ..Phone people =-.

  189. American money doesn’t have pretty colours. That might be an immature reason to like Canada’s monopoly money more, but I also laughed at the “10 Dix” instead of thinking “Oooh French,” so clearly I am not the bastion of maturity.

  190. The math is NOT wrong, just incomplete. Multiply both sides by CANADIAN and then CANADIAN/CANADIAN = 1, leaving you with the remaining formula, BACON = $10.00! Where in the hell did you guys learn algebra?

  191. “Can you trace the IP address of the angry commenter to Utah? I bet it’s Heather Armstrong.”

    I think The Dead Acorn is on to something, eh?

  193. I love this post so much on many levels. You are right Jennifer on making your argument. However, here’s the technically correct argument you could have made if you would have taken along several expert consultants (one trade specialist, one currency exchange expert and one algebra teacher to remind you to cancel out the numerator on one side of the equation and the denominator on the other side of the equation.

    Revised argument by an American shopper (who are smarter than Canadians)
    1. First, Canada should be thankful we like their damn bacon
    2. Canada has 10 Canadian dollars worth of Canadian bacon they want to ship to the U.S.
    3. The U.S. buys 10 Canadian dollars worth of Canadian bacon but only pays $9.50 U.S. because we know our money rocks more than theirs
    4. For you to buy $10.00 U.S. dollars of Canadian bacon you would really need like $11 Canadian dollars
    5. So you pick up $10.00 U.S. dollars of Canadian bacon and at the checkout counter you give them the $10 Canadian and pull out your chainsaw, lop off 20% of the Canadian bacon and leave it with the checker
    6. On the way out, you tell the checker to keep the change motherfucker.

  195. I happen to love our Canadian money, it’s colourful so you can tell which bills are which without having to look for a number, and most of our bills have little bumps on them (which aren’t actual Braille numbers but can still be used to distinguish the bills from each other so you can tell if you have a 5, a 10 or a 50 etc) which is awesome since my kid is blind. I wouldn’t trade our money for American money any day. 😛 Also your money is useless here too, so it’s pretty much the same.
    .-= Azaera´s last blog ..One Year Ago =-.

  197. I just need to let you know that every time I read your blog I laugh so hard that I snort. Usually, I’m safe at home in my office but sometimes I’m desperate for a little laugh and I read it on the bus. Oh the looks I get…

  198. So my husband’s Crazy Aunt Lola is preparing to go to Mexico for a holiday.

    Her sister says, “Lola, did you change some money? It’s a good idea before we go.”

    Lola says, “What are you talking about?”

    Sister, who actually has a passport and has been abroad, says, “Change money. Mexicans use different money than we do.”

    Lola thinks for a minute and replies, “All the Mexicans *I* know use American money.”

    America . . . one nation, under Canada.
    .-= TheExpatresse´s last blog ..Um, People . . . It’s DECEMBER, and We’re in MOSCOW =-.

  200. I’m Canadian and I take issue with whichever marketing asshole decided to convince the world this is “Candian bacon.” It’s ham. Fried ham. And hardly anyone eats it here.

    Beyond that, isn’t our money pretty? And the kids playing pond hockey on the $5 bill? Absofuckinglutely adorable. We’re not the hat of the US, we’re the dorky cousin. And proud of it.

  201. I laughed really hard at your post…but then I laughed even harder when I realized that people were actually taking you seriously/getting upset about it/correcting the bacon math. And then after I was done laughing about it, I cried a little. Because really guys? That’s just sad.

  205. Our money is much more practical than yours…do you know how much attention I have to pay to the damn denominations of money when I use US cash…in Canada, you don’t have to pay attention because it’s colour coded (and why do Americans hate the letter U??) !!! You never end up giving $20 to the guy on the street instead of the $1 because they all look the same!!!

    Julie

  206. Honey, that grocery store was trying to rip you off before you even came in with that gorgeous, well-designed piece of currency. Because ham? Is NOT Canadian bacon. Peameal back bacon is Canadian bacon. Apparently your grocery store manager is a Yankee and just thinks you Texans are all ignorant.
    .-= kittenpie´s last blog ..The Beauty in the Everyday =-.

  208. I totally got the math part. I’m so freaking excited. If I ever go to Canada (yeah, not so much, ever gonna happen) I’m taking American money and not exchanging it. What a rip off.
    .-= Martie´s last blog ..We Are Now Section 504… =-.

  210. I’m pretty sure you got screwed more than that. According to an exchange calculator, $10 Canadian is only equal to $9.44 US. They cheated you out of 56 cents. Cheap bastards.

    But I love Canada, and I think their money is pretty. Not helpful buying bacon, but certainly makes snorting that line an arty experience. What?

  211. I dont know….if I posted something insulting about the USA i would be strung up and killed, however do it to poor Canada and its ok. I don’t like that. We are the only country that still likes you Americans and have not tried to bomb the hell out of you. maybe we should try and play nice ok? I just feel sad and betrayed about this post.

  213. @tabitha : LMAO @ strung up and killed. yeah, cuz *no one* makes fun of america and gets away with it >:| don’t think we’re not privy to your ~canadian~ plans: the northern pinetree line, the giant attack beavers, celine dion, your one submarine, and now you’re sending us Dix… these only spell out *one thing*…. ok, i’m not really sure what, but i’m sure it’s bad whatever it is. so much for canadians playing “nice” >:O

  214. The awesome thing about about Canadian money is that it’s all colour coded and you don’t even have to think about it. It’s easier to pay off a prostitute because it’s all ” One handjob is One blue, One purple. Add One Green for a happy ending.”

    In America I’m pretty sure that’s why so many people get busted by the police. You ACTUALLY have to count out your money because it’s all the same.
    .-= Tristachio´s last blog ..That Guy With The Creeper Mustache And Glasses? Yeah, That’s Me =-.

  217. ooh ooh…bloggess for prime minister and then YOU could be on pretty, tinsel ,charlie brown poetry money!!!

  218. In a possibly unrelated matter, I would just like to say that commenting on your blog is a perpetual challenge. Because, in my book, you are the best blogger there is, hands down. Period. I laugh til tears every time I come here, worship the cyberspace you inhabit, and like I want you to know I was here but I get like all deer-in-the-headlighty when I go to comment, because without a doubt I am going to sound like a douche. (This is working out so far for me, yes?) So maybe I should turn it into an advice question! You love those! Ok, here I go. How am I supposed to like say hi and comment and worship you without trying to be funny and sounding like a douchejockey?
    .-= @marymac´s last blog ..Best Christmas Cookie EVAH =-.

  219. Mmmm…Canada…

    That money would give me nightmares. It explains a lot about Canadians. American money is like all of those tasteful little black dresses at the Academy Awards and Canadian money is like…Courtney Love.
    .-= Sandy´s last blog ..Sushi for Babies =-.

  220. Of all the posts you’ve written Jenny the bloggess, I love that this is the one where people take you seriously and start world war three. The post was great as is, but the comments make it so much better.
    .-= Liz´s last blog ..Thoughts on Getting Published =-.

  221. I really had no idea how easy it was for people to get offended..but after reading some of these comments …wow. For people that don’t know it, The Bloggess is writes in a comical style! You’ve stumbled upon a blog that is to many people FUNNY so if you find comments about a countries currency and meat product offensive you probably should go to cnn.com which I’m sure is where serious people go on the internet. I for one live in Arkansas, where we marry our cousins and go cow tipping for fun!! (<—- see that I just had a sense of humor about where I live and no one died!!) So lets just calm down, hold hand and give peace a chance. Let us be unified by the common knowledge that The Bloggess is freakin funny as hell and be done with it.

  223. Oh, those Canadians!

    Don’t even get me started on the French part! Did you know? They are so UPPITY that they have a different word for EVERYTHING!?
    .-= My Baby Sweetness´s last blog ..Mold! =-.

  224. Americans are all so behind the times. We Canadians don’t use money anymore – we just exchanges big gobs of tar sand oil.

    And if we need to buy something really big, we let out a huge Alberta fart of natural gas and then waft it towards the seller.

  225. Here I was about to send you $11.00 in canadian coin for the glory that is James, and you publicly shame my country. HOW DARE YOU!!!! Didn’t you realize the benefits of canadian money? We have heavier coin so its easier to beat someone to death with toonies in a sock! And really, its funnier to say toonie.

    And when I was in New York, your money gave me anxiety attacks every time I had to pay for something and I couldn’t tell what was what and DAMNIT WHY IS EVERYONE IN A HURRY!!!!

    I maintain that all transactions should be paid for in sexual favours. Except ugly people, they can use money. OH and people that smell. And REALLY tall people, cause I’m jealous and I want ot be tall and they are just flaunting that shit.

  226. That’s fucking hilarious.

    BTW, Got my James Garfield card in the mail and holy shit, that thing is UGLY. In a beautiful, glorious way, I mean. The online pictures are nothing compared to JG in full,high-resolution color. He seems happy, with that big crazy grin. Not sure if he’s a natural redhead though.
    .-= lynn @ human, being´s last blog ..Days of Grace: 254/365 =-.

  230. Australian money is just as pretty as Canadian money *g*. Polymer notes are durable, but you can’t iron them flat to put in a birthday card (unless you actually *planned* to give little Johnny a mangled lump of colourful plastic) (thereby making you his most hated relative ever) (WIN!)

  231. Okay so wait. I don’t mean to be an ass but your bacon math is wrong. Or let me rephrase, you wrote it down wrong. Bacon has to be on the bottom and Canadian has to be on the top or else you can’t cancel them out….
    Just…saying…

    But in other news that cashier was a dumb ass and clearly kind of racist? slightly a bigot? ((Oh nice now I look like a dumb ass)) Nevertheless she’s a hater and you should never shop there again. U_U
    .-= Rebekah Mae´s last blog ..Monday Sucks. =-.

  232. Somewhere I once read, “It’s only offensive to assholes.”

    Now if I could only remember where I saw that.

    BTW, thanks for the Christmas card. It’s like a holiday miracle!

  234. “I don’t even know what Canadian money is supposed to like ” Canadian money is supposed to like pretty much anything that can be bought.

  235. “Your comment is awaiting moderation.” Is this another way of saying “Your comment is awaiting censorship.”

  236. I used to be a grocery store manager at a SuperFresh (aka A&P) until I was “cut adrift” in the “Great Cleansing.” Rest assured if you ever, EVER try to buy Canadian bacon with Canadian money — or Swiss cheese with Swiss money, etc — in a store that I manage, I will personally conduct your transaction and you will walk out of my store with said bacon (or cheese, etc), good old-fashoned US money as change and a smile on your face.

    Your explanation makes perfect sense to me.

  238. I am happy to see that I don’t have to put much effort in showing how “ignorant” Mr. 10$ is…. It is pretty obvious that his knowledge of the world (out of the USA) is quite limited to nill.

    Just a thought… Why don’t you stop by the Bank of America, they know what Canadian currency looks like.

  239. Ok… so Canada is above us , I mean the U.S. … you know over here on this side of the ocean, attached to North America and all… and they have a Queen? Is it the real Queen like in England or do they have their own?
    And Australia has her too… if they are that far away from the government why don’t they just pick their own? I’m just saying that when my parents went to , like Ohio, and left me and my brother home, we made up our own rules for doing the chores and… stuff. And Ohio is a lot closer to where we lived than the Queen is to Canda, or Australia, unless I ‘m looking at the globe all wrong.
    But I don’t think I am.
    .-= Dawn´s last blog ..Reading blogs only makes me jealous, then I get depressed so I should have just eaten the chips and dip to begin with… =-.

  240. I’m so impressed that you still know how to do fractions. Of course I sat here like an idiot wondering if you could cancel out denominators. And yeah, I went to a big kid’s school known as college. I would way rather have candian money than fricking Mexican pesos. Want to talk about money that is worthless. Pesos are even worthless in Mexico!
    .-= So Not Mom-a-licious´s last blog ..I don’t do Duplicates in blue vinyl anymore. =-.

  243. It is so wrong that they refused to sell you the ha…canadian bacon – after you did the mathematical proofs and everything. But we live just across the Detroit River from…those people – so I’m not about to spreading the word that their currency is “orthlessway”.

    I don’t want their warmly-dressed hordes marauding in our streets. Or their marauding whores, either!
    .-= Jim Styro´s last blog ..Blogging Blackmail =-.

  245. If only you had a 5 dollar Canadian bill, young boys playing hockey on a pond. Rather majestic I think.

  247. Today at Macy’s, my two year old found a nickel. He carried it around for twenty minutes and when we were on our way to the car, he went up and put it into the Salvation Army bucket. The man ringing the bell saw that it was a nickel because my son is TWO and dropped it a few times and dryly said, “Thanks, I guess…” like I was a cheap skank.

    I turned around and said, “You know, he FOUND that nickel and gave it to you all on his own and with that attiude I kinda want a refund. DICK.”

    I wanted to shove that fucking bell up his stupid fucking ass.

    But I didn’t because my son was with me and I am supposed to be setting an example.
    .-= Zak´s last blog ..Shot To The Heart =-.

  251. So, here’s the benefit of reading the Bloggess: not only is she the funniest ever, just on her own, but she inspires commenters to heights of sarcasm/hilarity. Even those douches who aren’t really *aware* that she’s total parody.

    Plus? She *looks* so normal. Totally blindsided that cashier, no?
    .-= gurukarm (@karma_musings)´s last blog ..Changing the Choices =-.

  252. I’m pretty sure that’s just a souvenir from The Nutcracker or something. That guy looks like the crazy Toy Maker Pedophile character. There’s pedophiles in The Nutcracker, right?

    PS: I’m pretty bad at math and geography, but I think that whoever (whomever?) sent you the money deserves only like 3/4 of a card, so make sure you rip it.
    .-= Kristine´s last blog ..They Shot Him in the Fucking Head =-.

  253. Bloggess,

    Thy are mighty superior on ye high gringo horse taking this piss out of those poor Canadians! (you like my Olde E?) You have inflicted emotional turmoil onto commenter #209….you can either be ashamed of yourself or feel all warm and fuzzy inside content with the fact that you excel at porcine algebra.

    ps: Everyone knows you can only buy Real Maple Syrup with Canaopoly money. Silly Rabbit.
    .-= Erika from The Pastry Chef At Home´s last blog ..Salame del re (aka Chocolate Sausage aka The King’s Willy ) =-.

  254. Thanks a lot, Canada. Your money is useless here.

    as opposed to American money that is now useless everywhere else.

  256. i refuse to read 253 comments to see if someone has said this yet, but that’s bill maher. he’s said he had to go to canada to finally find the respect he deserves.
    .-= jen lovely´s last blog ..haunted =-.

  258. Pingback: I fucking love Canadians « Mayopie

  259. As a good Canadian living in the land of bills that are all the same size, confusing all the blind people, I feel an overwhelming desire to apologize. I have no idea what for, but Sore-ee!
    .-= Abigail Carter´s last blog ..Scroogenomics =-.

  262. HIMOM!!!!! HIMOM!!!!!

    Ahhhhh! This is absolutely amazing. Thank you for proving there was a fucking point to learning about common denominators in school. It didn’t help me with my GRE, but it made me chuckle and then pat myself on the back for “getting” smart humor. Big day.

  264. People, people, people, the math is fine.

    When you have an = sign then you can perform the same operation on both sides and it will still be equal let me show you

    4/2 = x/2

    I want to get the value for x, so I multiply *both sides* by 2 which takes away the denominator
    2*(4/2)=2*(x/2)
    4 = x

    So long as we assume BACON is a variable (which it is, she had $10 worth of bacon, but she could have had more or less). However a better equation might have been BACON*Canadian=10*Canadian

  265. Hey there eh????????

    We Canadians are AWESOME PEOPLE! And our dollar has done a lot better these days than yours!

    That’s it, that’s all! Thought I’d stand up for my country, and my bacon.

    :))

  266. holy shit dude!I think you managed to get all of Canada to comment on this post (I’m not sure, but I think the population is 258). Who knew they would staunchly defend their right to call Ham, “bacon” or would justify why having colored money was better?? Nobody could have seen that coming, eh?

    PRICELESS.

    Newsflash Canada: She’s kidding.
    .-= michel´s last blog ..Dear US Embassy Doctor, =-.

  270. OMG! And a big SQEEEEE!

    I tweeted about “Bacon Maths” to John Scalzi (@scalzi) and he came over here and read your blog. He is a celebrated Hugo winning author John Scalzi and also a “Creative Consultant” on Stargate:Universe. I sent the tweet because of his blog Clearly You People Thought I Was Kidding « Whatever He has this thing about bacon.

    Then, he tweeted back to me. “Her logic is sound!”

    Then I tweeted. “I thought she made her point. She had a few peeps with no sense of humor unfollowing her. I am sure you know that routine.”

    His reply. “If you’re following her not knowing that’s her sense of humor, you’re probably not paying attention, I say.”

    I didn’t want to bother him too much so I just left it as that.

    Oh, another Squeeeee! I just can’t help it.

  271. Again showing beautiful short sightedness the Ten dollar bill expresses the commemorative story of our / EVERY fallen soldier, The reverse side depicts images related to warfare and remembrance; this is accompanied by a quotation from John McCrae’s poem “In Flanders Fields”. As well the “zombie” you see is/was an old veteran standing at attention near the Ottawa war memorial. His name is Robert Metcalfe and he died a few years ago at the age of 90. That he managed to live to that age is rather remarkable, given what happened in the Second World War. Born in England, he one of the 400,000 members of the British Expeditionary Force sent to the mainland where they found themselves facing the new German warfare technique – the Blitzkrieg. He was treating a wounded comrade when he was hit in the legs by shrapnel. Enroute to hospital, his ambulance came under fire from a German tank, which then miraculously ceased fire. Evacuated from Dunkirk on HMS Grenade, two of the sister ships with them were sunk. Recovered, he was sent to allied campaigns in north Africa and Italy. En-route his ship was chased by the German battleship Bismarck. In North Africa he served under General Montgomery against the Desert Fox, Rommel.

    I know the thread was meant as a good poke at the Canadian money, and sure why not it can look like monopoly money … But you could have exploited a funnier bill than the 10, as i stated it is a salute to all of the fallen soldiers, not just the Canadian ones I think some of these posts are in poor form, but hey I’m just a Canadian soldier who has been in and at war.

    Respect

  272. I think you confused the grocery people because you didn’t show all of your work. For the two “Canadians” to be canceled out of the denomenators like that, you would have had to multiply both sides by a “Canadian/1” (a “canadian” over a “one”, in case that wasn’t obvious). I realize that smart people like us just do that part in our heads; but you can’t expect a Canadian to do that.

  273. I think you should insult Canadians more often – it certainly got alot of comments!!! It’s pathetic, because in Canada they take US money!!! You can buy anything with it – even non American things!

    Canadian bacon is called peameal bacon, which is ham, as you rightly said.
    .-= Holli´s last blog ..Africa: the content of the continent =-.

  274. Pingback: Uncategorized: No really, this has nothing to do with my blog « The Transgressions & Adventures of an Atlanta Cheapskate

  275. It also works for coinage. US coins are taken at par in Canada so we sort of become used to them being the same, but the last time I tried to use Canadian coins in California, holy crap did that not go over well.

    All of this is headed for a sharp reversal if the Canadian dollar ever breaks parity and winds up being worth more than the USD. Then good luck trying to use a US $10 to buy a Big Mac in Montreal.

  276. As a Canadian living in the US, I’ve been accused of various things, including being a socialist, but never of creating “funny money.” While the whole thing (comments included) may have been satirical, I do think the $10 was the wrong bill to pick on (see Bruce’s comments). As to Canadian Tire money in denominations like 2, 5 and 10 cents (“money” you got back for making purchases redeemable like a coupon at the store for those unfamiliar with this particular rewards deal); members of the Canadian navy used to try and pass it off as real Canadian currency in other countries — including the US!
    But hey — every Canadian knows the capital of the US; how many Americans know the capital of Canada — and we did kick buck (oops butt) in the war of 1812 — burning the White House, etc. Being polite, we just let you folks think you won that one! PS: When I worked part-time in a grocery store during high school, Canadian money was worth more than US; now those were the days!
    .-= phylor´s last blog ..New Links in Alternative Pain Therapies Posting =-.

  278. Pingback: (Anti) Social Lists 12/20/09 | (Anti) Social Development

  280. Just like you Americans… (Shit! Their money is so awesome. Why can’t we have money with kids playing hockey on the back? Do something, quick. Make them feel less awesome so that you can subsequently go back to feeling American, and I am using American as a synonym for awesome, obviously.)

    We have beavers, birds, bears on our money, oh my!

    And we’re left-wing enough to consider ghosts, too. We’re going to make a 3 dollar coin soon, with homosexuals on one side and poutine on the other.

  281. Dude. How do they fail to see this? It’s beyond math, it’s practically fucking science! And you probably could have brought REGULAR bacon into the grocery story and buy groceries with it.

    I think they’re just prejudiced of Canadians.
    .-= statia´s last blog ..Extreme Mommyblogging =-.

  283. Pingback: Weekend link dump for December 20 – Off the Kuff

  284. Oh my GAWD! this was so funny it brought tears to my eyes! Being from Oregon and travelling into Canada several times I too have been “stuck” with Canadian money. In fact I think I still have $20 or $30 dollars of it floating around in a box somewhere. Great stuff for sure.

    On a side note the Canadians are some of the nicest people I have ever met all across North America in my whole life. Believe it or not the Olympic Coach of the Canadian diving team actually taught me basic diving from the edge of a pool in a motel half way across B.C. somewhere when I was like 13 on a trip we took from Oregon all the way across B.C. and back down into Seattle then finally into Portland. It was one of the best times of my life. Thanks Canada!
    .-= Richard´s last blog ..Make Money With Your Twitter Account =-.

  286. I’m at work. I clicked through your blog about Canadian money while drinking orange juice. There’s now orange juice all over my second monitor (because somebody got caught sleeping) and one of the developer’s keyboards and probably a little on the power strip. So when the fire starts, you should expect some investigators at your door.

    That said, I’ve been telling people for years: there’s no such thing as Canada. Northern Michigan, Northern Washington, whatever. The idea that a whole country full of white people — some of them pretentiously speaking French at that — could exist close enough to Montana and *nobody American ever thought to invade* … well, that’s just preposterous. I read about manifest destiny in school. Canada’s an elaborate ruse to get an extra vote at the UN and to score sweet untainted passports. I know how it works.

    So no, you can’t buy “Canadian” bacon (which is likely from northern Minnesota — that “border” is clearly fake because it’s drawn with a dotted line) with “Canadian” money because it’s like monopoly money. You may as well be trying to spend Narnian currency. Google this stuff, it’s all out there.

  287. Jenny, I wish you were American ambassador to Canada. But only if you could bring James Garfield with you.

    (You don’t. . . think. . . . QUICK. Ask him to pronounce the word “out.” Are you sure that’s not Canadian bacon hanging on your wall??)
    .-= Lorraine´s last blog ..A quick tour of the workplace =-.

  289. I’m going to be so messed if I go back to Canada, that doesn’t look much like the money they had when I lived there. And also, the money in Guatemala is colored and has tinsel and stuff, but I’m pretty sure the colors are different, so I would totally mess up and give someone $50 when I meant to give them 10, because the 10 quetzal bill here is red . . . oh, it’s too confusing, I’ll just have to live in a 3rd world country for the rest of my life.
    .-= Expat Mom´s last blog ..Christmas Photos =-.

  290. What can I say but “Thank you stupid Americans!”

    You do, actually, advertise the fact that Canadians are smarter.

    BTW your “maf” is impeccable, a true product of USofA

  291. poor Canadians, are we, forever defending and explaining ourselves for not being American-like enough, and yet, always defining our identity, comparing and contrasting ourselves against the backdrop of the US… it’s odd and fascinating, and quickly becomes significantly irritating. Maybe that’s why we’ve got a reputation of endearing openness… we’re always patiently trying to explain who we are while we secretly muck around with the confusion. kind of like what this insomnia-greets-the-daylight comment is doing.

    (you rock!)

  292. Did you actually not know that Canada would have different currency than the US, which is what I assume you meant by “normal people”? I would hope that a grown woman would know that Canada, as a separate nation, has separate currency, as does almost every nation in the world excluding those in the EU.

  293. FINALLY some decent satire of our country! I LOVED this article, and I’m a veteran of the Canadian Forces. The only way to be pissed off at this is if you don’t get it. It’s funny, for fuck sakes.

    It’s also way funnier than what normally passes for jokes about Canada down there in the Colonies, which is usually just some douchebag half crunked on light beer (which, incidently, is only for children and the elderly in Canada) muddling up a joke that he heard from some shitty comedian like Dane Cook.

    Although the competition isn’t all that tough, as far as I’m concerned, the author of this post wins “Funniest American of the Week.”

  294. actually the US is one of few countries in the world where all money is the same colour. maybe it’s the americans who need to get some real looking money. just a thought.

  296. I am trying very hard not to be totally insulted because I am a Canadian and I am very proud of our very colourful, holographic money with pictures of sad men on them because here in Canada, the men are all sad because it’s so damn cold that all their ballsacks have disappeared. And I’m proud of the fact that, despite their scrotums having been sucked up into their abdominal cavities, these men still have the wherewithal to pose for a picture to put on a bill.

    I understand that, as Americans, you may not know much about Canada. We here in Canada actually accept American dollars, even when we shouldn’t. We’re giving like that. We also know how to differentiate our bills, hence, the different colours on them. We also know how to spell the word ‘colours’ correctly.

    When in the US of A, I have such a hard time figuring out which bill is a $10, and which is a $20, because they all look the same. Have you guys heard of the rainbow?

    Now, although I have personally been insulted by this brouhaha of a post, I will put on a happy face as I go out to feed the sled dogs, because THAT is how we roll.
    .-= Mary @ Holy Mackerel´s last blog ..Family Night =-.

  297. I’ve just read some of the other comments, and am really surprised that so many people seemed to be kind of truly insulted by your post, Jenny. For god’s sake, people, it’s supposed to be funny. Holy crap. Life’s too short to take anything too seriously, including a $10 freaking bill!!!!!

    Bloggess, you rock.
    .-= Mary @ Holy Mackerel´s last blog ..Family Night =-.

  299. And the irony of it all …….today, if the US dollar is worth anything at all OBAMA is about to print a few more
    trillion which should make it completely worthless!!!!!!!!!!!!HE WHO LAUGHS LAST IS CANADIAN HAHAHAHAHA

  300. Pingback: Ugly new U.S. $100 bill: karma for making fun of Canadian money for so long | The Yanks | torontolife.com

  302. Oh my, that’s probably one of the most ridiculous things I’ve ever read about Canada!

    It’s definitely a real $10. All the fancy hologram stuff is to prevent counterfeiting. Also, you may make fun of Canada’s colorful money, but America is thinking of making their money colorful too!

    Also, in Canada, Canadian bacon is called Ham. Next to no one refers to it as Canadian bacon.

    Your math is wrong, even though you seem to be proud of it. Denominators don’t cancel each other out. Denominators and numerators can cancel each other out.
    Why would buying something Canadian make it okay to use a foreign currency anyways? According to that logic, if I wanted to buy baguettes I can use Francs and if I wanted to buy sushi I can use yen, regardless of what country I’m in. Think of how ridiculous that is. Every store would have to be its own currency exchange center.

    The guy on the bill is Sir John A. McDonald – the first prime-minister of Canada. Canadians can recognize George Washington, why is it so hard for Americans to recognize Canada’s 1st leader?

    John McCrae wrote that poem, and it is no joke, it is in remembrance of soldiers lost during the war – Canadian AND American soldiers were lost. By insulting that poem you are insulting all soldiers who died.

    Furthermore, Canadians are not socialists. Just because the government provides health care for its citizens and doesn’t leave them sick and impoverished with mounting debt from health bills they can’t pay, doesn’t make them socialists. Weird, I’d have thought healthy citizens would be a good thing? Besides, isn’t Obama planning on taking a few queues from the way Canadians do Health care?

    Also, you didn’t realize Canada had their own money, separate from America??? Seriously? Different countries have different currencies. Please tell me you didn’t seriously think that Canada used American currency and that American money was used and accepted everywhere.

    So many things wrong with this blog, it’s rather pathetic.

  303. I’m at work. I clicked through your blog about Canadian money while drinking orange juice. There’s now orange juice all over my second monitor (because somebody got caught sleeping) and one of the developer’s keyboards and probably a little on the power strip. So when the fire starts, you should expect some investigators at your door.
    Furthermore, Canadians are not socialists. Just because the government provides health care for its citizens and doesn’t leave them sick and impoverished with mounting debt from health bills they can’t pay, doesn’t make them socialists. Weird, I’d have thought healthy citizens would be a good thing? Besides, isn’t Obama planning on taking a few queues from the way Canadians do Health care?

  304. Pingback: James Garfield is currently on the floor beside me because I can’t find a stud in the wall to hang him but it’s nice because it looks like he’s bursting through the basement, which is awesome because we don’t even *have* a basement

  305. Your proof is mathematically correct but logically wrong. You multiplied both sides by Canadians. Who wants more Canadians?

  307. Did you really think someone could have printed up some fake money (with holograms, tactile ink, watermark etc.) on their printer?
    Did they get their printer from the future ?

  308. Must really suck that the US is worth less than the Canadian dollar.. sucks balls… haha

  309. Hope you held on to that Canadian 10 spot..might be the only money worth something right now 😉

  310. PS. Hilarious post. As a proud Canadian I’m happy to say I have a sense of humour. Loved your rationale for the Canadian bacon purchase too hee hee.

  311. I read all 308 comments, and after all the brouhaha, not one person mentioned that Sir John A. was a drunk. I mean, sure, he was Canada’s first prime minister, and also one of the founding fathers of Confederation, but he was a raging alcoholic. Which really is what I got out of my history lessons. My fiance (who was a Canadian history major) and I like to discuss how hammered he was while writing the British North America Act. Probably very, which is why IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE TO ANYONE.

    We also take American money here in Canada. At least, anywhere I’ve been. It is a pain in the ass, btw. I work in a grocery store, and I hate looking at the numbers on every single bill. And they do not take ANY Canadian money once you get any distance from the border. I was in Boston (Boston for cryin’ out loud! You can throw a rock and hit Canada from Boston!) and they wouldn’t even take my PENNIES. Seriously. The lady looked at me like I had tried to give her some sort of alien currency. They were worth exactly the same as your pennies.

    The only place I have ever been that has money that’s all the same colour is the US. Anywhere in Europe that uses the Euro has different coloured money, and they also ripped off our toonie design for their 2 Euro coin. Fuckin’ European bastards. And the Czech Republic’s kronas are all different coloured and are quite beautiful, actually. I wish I had kept some of mine, rather than changing them in for Euros.

    Also, that $10 bill is now worth $10.02 American. Jussayin’.

  313. Canadian money is more advanced then our crappy American cash that look like minopoly money.. Unless I get a new bill thats different colors I wont except the 2 tone old school crap.. it just looks like old crap.. so easy to wash the ink off with greese remover and reprint… I was just looking at Canadian money and apparently it’s plastic now..

    By the way your blogger comment was dumb

  315. Dix is not something smutty! Canadas’ two official lanuages are English and French, DIX is French for TEN 🙂 not sure if that was pointed out. Greetings from Northern Canada Jenny!

    I visit the US often and even in Seattle they laugh at our money 🙁 not cool guys, play nice!

    P.S I can’t stop reading your blog =)

  318. LOL look at all the thin skinned Canadians trying to defend their monopoly money. CANADA SUCKS. With your ugly rainbow money… picture of the ugly ass queen on your 20s. Stop kissing the Brit’s asses and get your own identity. I can not WAIT to leave this wretched tundra of a country. Jobless, depressing, freezing hellhole. Fuck your lame healthcare too. It’s the only thing Canadians use to defend their stupid country.. and guess what.. IT SUCKS. Unless you’re old as hell, you’ll never get to see a doctor because Canada worships old people.
    The end.

  319. Please, don’t let the door hit you on the ass on your way out. Buh-bye.

  320. In Australia we get useless NZ coins that seem to circulate. The trick is to put them in with other *real* coins when paying for something. This seems to work. Or we are just too lazy to care.

    So you needed to buy $50 worth of bacon.
    What you would then do with that much bacon is another story …
    But then again – what *couldn’t* you do with $50 of bacon?
    Oh, wait it’s *Canadian* bacon… nevermind. Just throw that shit away.

  321. I think you should know that Canadian money now smells like maple. Not. Even. Joking.

    We’re so lame that our government has nothing better to do than make shiny, holographic, colorful, smelly money. True story.

  324. What The heck?! You can’t use American money in Canada either! IT’S CALLED CANADIAN MONEY BECAUSE YOU USE IT IN CANADA!!!! (and you thought the clerk had no logic)

  325. $10 cdn?? That’s like $7.60 usd these days. Gee, Canadians just enjoy paying more for everything?? Consumer prices in Canada really only make sense when their currency weakens. Enjoy the fx gap you Americans,.. Canada is ON SALE!!

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Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

The Dating Days of Marta O: When I told my sister I was building a blog she said: “Do people still read blogs?” I do not know, but if YOU want to read it, here it is. Keep in mind, my stories about dating after 40 are for the brave.

Where Do I Belong? A memoir of Sarah Carrington: The unbelievable story of growing up in a religious cult in the mountains of Northern British Columbia. What happens to you in life doesn’t make you strong; rising above it does.

CONNECTED: A Personal Journal for Ketamine Therapy Created by writer & patient Katherine Davis for this powerful clinical treatment. If considering ketamine for major depression, check out this essential tool.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

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