80 thoughts on “This is how my whole life goes”

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  6. You didn’t include anything about how Maria said she’d gotten paid in the souls of dead ants, which was definitely a highlight of RoachSprayGate.

  10. Let me know when they’re giving out the freebie fake cheese. I will totally write the SHIT out of that.
    Please don’t mix it up with the roach spray.
    .-= Bridget Callahan´s last blog ..Evidence =-.

  12. You’re both lovely and frankly THERE IS NOT ENOUGH ROACH SPRAY IN THE WORLD because they will be the last survivors of nuclear holocaust along with Twinkies and Cher. 🙂
    .-= Loralee´s last blog ..RED LETTER DAY! =-.

  15. It’s not your fault. I mean it’s sorta your fault. You should give some away to make up for all the smack talk about roach spray though. We could at the very least huff it.
    .-= tara´s last blog ..Bunny Love =-.

  18. I wouldn’t complain if I was paid in chocolate. Or cars. Or unicorns. Okay, maybe I would complain about unicorns, I don’t really have enough pasture for any more hooved creatures. Even ones with awesome horns and glitter shit.

    But roach spray, well, it would be useless as we don’t have roaches. Could I use it to keep away sparrows and starlings? What about earwigs? Snails? No? No roach spray for me.
    .-= Veronica´s last blog ..Twelve Months =-.

  19. I once had an ant in my right ear. My mum was trying to get that little bastard out of there for a good half hour. I was in tears, thinking of all the shenanigans that little fucker could be getting up to inside my head. Also from the pain of my mother digging around in my head with a bobby pin for a recalcitrant marauding insect. Finally, she prevailed and the squirmy little git was dug out and promptly jumped up and down upon with all the fury my porky little 8-year-old self could muster.

    If my mother had been paid in roach spray, my life could have turned out very differently. Not necessarily better, just different.
    .-= Heidi´s last blog ..The nest of a sparrow. =-.

  23. How do I get some roach spray to review? Are you giving some away? What? 🙂
    Speaking of bugs, here’s some personal trivia: I sleep with my ears covered all year because I have a phobia about a moth flying in my ear.
    I know you wanted to know that.
    YOU ARE WELCOME.

  25. i had a flea in my ear once. i didn’t realize it was so hairy in there. WOLVERINES!!

  28. What I don’t get is that I follow BOTH you and Maria and I didn’t catch any of this. Damnit. It must be my stupid work getting in the way of all my twittering. I’m quitting. So I can see more fake twitter fights over bug spray.
    .-= Randa´s last blog ..Apparently I’m already Clean? =-.

  29. I spend most of the time surprised that I get paid, but would probably draw the line at getting paid in roach spray: I would need to find roaches, and then that would be the start of a whole downward spiral or hanging with the wrong bugs (also, not getting paid in money really hurts your credit rating) and I just can’t see that ending happily so I’d probably prefer the money if that doesn’t seem too fickle. Or, actually, even if it does seem fickle I’d still prefer money. Stop judging me.
    .-= Ninja´s last blog ..Former BP boss Lord Browne admits sexuality fears =-.

  30. In your defense…how on GOD’S GREEN EARTH would you have known anyone would be talking about roach spray today!! That’s like saying, “If I gave away crap would you all give me one too?” And someone saying, “I’m actually giving away crap today on my blog…” The odds of that happening are slim. And I’m not making fun of the roach spray by any means…it’s just random.
    .-= gingela5´s last blog ..“The Sauce-a You Can Have, But the Secret? She’s A Mine…” =-.

  31. I don’t understand any of this, but now I’m craving roach spray. (That’s code for “White Shoulders”, right?)
    .-= Marinka´s last blog ..Ug. Gs. =-.

  32. Well, every single one of the tweets you’ve sent directly to me have been just fine. Yeah, it’s only been one, but that’s a 100% success rate! That’ll bring yer average up! 🙂

    Foot-in-mouth happens. It was like Mercury retrograde wasn’t done with you and snuck back for one last jab. So, really, it’s the fault of the planets.

  33. When you tweeted that you were “A tremendous douchebag” I had no idea what you were talking about or who you were addressing and I got very confused so I found myself thinking, “Yes, she really might be.”
    .-= Suzy´s last blog ..When I’m 88 =-.

  36. Douchebag? No, the fact that you tweeted something derogatory about roach-spray reviewers and inadvertently offended someone who actually reviewed roach spray makes you The Most Unintentionally Hilarious Person on the Internet … and you already held the title of The Most Intentionally Hilarious Person on the Internet … so there goes my chance of at least stumbling into the former title by accident. You’ve screwed me over again. Christ, I hate you.
    .-= Daddy Scratches´s last blog ..40 =-.

  37. I would be so thrilled if I got paid in anything. I would take roach spray or crap. I write crap, so why not get paid in crap. Its totally fitting.

  39. you seriously need a “like” button for your comments, like Facebook – but only better because you have more followers.

  41. You are a tremendous douche canoe. I can’t believe you forgot! Not really, but you know what I mean.

  45. Roach spray and douche bags do not go well together. The toxins get all up in there and then she started twitching oddly and vomiting. It was an interesting ride while it lasted.

    Also, I thought they came in bottles, not bags…
    .-= Uriah´s last blog ..Stop, vagina time! =-.

  48. I don’t think I’ve ever seen the words tremendous and douchebag used in the same sentence before, but it works.

  55. She wasn’t the only one who was a little miffed. Turning down free roach spray like some elite, above-free-roach-spray snob. Or are you trying to rub it in that you don’t have roaches? You hate poor people, don’t you? No wonder Target is always fucking with you.

    Meanwhile, roach spray company, I would be happy to review your “death” in a can. I’m convinced that at least 25% of my readers (my sister) would buy it. Of course, that’s totally dependent on its effectiveness. I will not be your whore and your product review will be completely unbiased (unless I get a free can, then it’s the best death spray ever).
    .-= MayoPie´s last blog ..Search term update: Die Outsider Ponyboy =-.

  56. Even if you agreed to review the and & roach spray, I’m not sure you could ever top this from hers: “I haven’t seen any roaches to try to kill. Which is awesome. . . . [But] based on how dead it made the ants, I’m guessing it would also kill the crap out of a roach.” Not that you aren’t Homeresque in your own right. Just that: why would the company even bother requesting another review after praise like that?
    .-= MommyTime´s last blog ..When A Six-Year-Old Asks =-.

  58. It’s the whole thing about doing a sponsored review, isn’t it? Already us bloggers are awkward about doing one in exchange for that “could-live-without yet somewhat enviable item” without having the Bloggess of All rub it in.

    Just kidding, Jenny. You’re an angel. Love you loads!

  77. omg
    I think I just invited on twitter, someone who is kinda stocking me .
    by mistake of course
    I was just trying to see if he’s using it
    stupid machine
    stupid me
    I think I beat you all

  78. We are all tremendous douchebags. We just are. But you’re pretty great, according to me. If you knew some of the stupid things I’ve said just since December 30th, you’d laugh. I’m talking terrible, cringe-worthy things. None of them were meant to be anything but loving, and the people around me knew it. Still, it made me hate myself just a little bit more.
    .-= Tammigirl´s last blog ..1,000 Tiny Little Kisses =-.

  80. Jenny, you know I like your stuff. I could say “great post” but I will give you a “weird post” instead. 😉 No such thing as bad publicity, right?

    But I must also say that your reader comments can be better than the posts. Except for a few that really are not funny and who need new writers.

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