The Traveling Red Dress

in important stuff, mixing medications, more than meets the eye, Random Crap, why yes I do know how to operate an EMF detector

My friend (Sunny) is an artist.  She writes and paints and makes beautiful, whimsical dresses out of found objects and magic.  One of my favorite dresses of hers is the red poppy dress and I wanted it the first time I saw it but I knew I’d never get it.  For one thing, it’s not sensible.  It’s impractical.  It’s bright red and vibrant and shocking and “inappropriate for a woman my age”.  And I have no shoes to go with it.  And I have no place to wear it.

And I want it.

I want, just once, to wear a bright red, strapless ball gown with no apologies.  I want to be shocking, and vivid and wear a dress as intensely amazing as the person I so want to be.  And the more I thought about it the more I realized how often we deny ourselves that red dress and all the other capricious, ridiculous, overindulgent and silly things that we desperately want but never let ourselves have because they are simply “not sensible”.  Things like flying lessons, and ballet shoes, and breaking into spontaneous song, and building a train set, and crawling onto the roof just to see the stars better.  Things like cartwheels and learning how to box and painting encouraging words on your body to remind yourself that you’re worth it.

And I am worth it.

And last week…?

…I got my red dress.

I didn’t have shoes, or a party to wear it to, or even a valid excuse to own it, but I had the dress.

And it was everything I thought it would be.

But here’s the thing…you are worth it too.  Which is why this week the red dress will begin a journey, traveling from city to city so that other people can wear it and love it and feel as special and vivid and dynamic as they already are.  Because sometimes we all need a little red dress to remind us of that.  So today, think about what it is you need and were too embarrassed to ask for.  And then go fucking do it. Wear a ball gown to the grocery store.  Invite the neighbors to have a picnic on the front lawn.  Get that novel out of your sock drawer and publish it yourself.  Stand on a bus stop bench and belt out a song for the waiting strangers.  Find a playground swing and remember how it felt to fly.  Find your red dress. And wear the hell out of it.

The Devil-and-the-Details:  This dress was custom-made by Sunny Haralson of Rubypearl and was specially made for this project.  Photographs taken by the amazing Karen Walrond, a woman who knows me so well that she’s become unfazed when asked to meet me in a graveyard with her camera and bail money.  (She *did* hesitate briefly when I mentioned that I’d be in my pajamas and that I’d have to get naked in the graveyard because I can’t actually put on the dress without someone cinching me up but then she just sighed and nodded and reminded herself to renew her license to practice law.)  Click here for her whole set.  Also, I’m bringing the traveling red dress to Blogher in August so if you’re going to be there and you want to get photographed in it then just come find me.  It’s totally worth it.  And so are you.

Comment of the day (although you should really read all of them because you people are fucking amazing): I can only hope like the “Traveling Pants”, the “Traveling Red Dress” is magic enough to make it fit my size 18 self by mere magic.  Honestly, being able to see it.. to touch it and be near it will be enough to prove I will be living my own Red Dress moment. I’m going to Blogher! I’m going to fly (!!!) to New York in 70 days and I’m completely and utterly terrified. But I’m doing it anyway dammit! This is a nerve-racking trip for most people, but for me? It’s so much more than that. For me, this trip will be a catalyst to take my life back from the ruthless clutches of agoraphobia. Sort of extreme exposure therapy. Today I can’t drive to the next town on my own, I can’t be alone at home, I can’t even take my daughter to the beach. I’m so much better than the housebound puddle I was 10 years ago, but I’m stuck. I’m so tired of CAN’T. In 70 days though (god help me), I CAN and I WILL.

That red dress? Home plate. The finish line. And also new beginning.

Thank you. ~ Karen

Updated:  The red dress has traveled to so many women celebrating miracles and overcoming struggles but this is a favorite. 

Also wonderful?

It’s a good kind of weird.

Wear the hell out of it.

Fighting cancer with friends. No mirrors necessary.

Jami, celebrating an amazing, personal transformation.

A summary.

There are tons of other stories…women bringing the red dress to retirement homes or to dying friends or just wearing it to celebrate life. It’s a good thing. Vivid, wonderful and amazing. Just like the women inside.

UPDATED 2012: The red dress is now years old and is a bit tattered but it’s still filled with magic and is currently on the road visiting people who need some magic in their lives. Ideally, we would have 15 red ball-gowns in various sizes all traversing the globe at the same time but I just can’t afford it. If your company is interested in donating red ball gowns, just drop me an email at advertising (at) thebloggess.com.

667 thoughts on “The Traveling Red Dress”

Read comments below or add one.

  2. One year, instead of going to a formal high school dance, my friends and I dressed up all fancy-like and went out the Petronas Towers (in Kuala Lumpur- we went to the mall underneath it.) At one point, we had to buy batteries, so I got to wear my fancy dress to the grocery store. People stared but whatever! It was awesome.

    What I’m trying to say is that your gorgeous dress is probably not my size and it’s impractical to send it out here to Aussie-land- but man, oh man do I love that dress and this idea. It’s so fabulous that it glitters- but in a classy way, not a pre-teen girl way. 😀

    Now I’m going to go buy that impractical petticoat that I want. Because I’m worth it.

    Thank you. <3

  4. That dress is spectacular. I might like to visit the dress sometime. My red dress was a subscription to Rhapsody, a Verizon Juke, and a pair of roller skates. Awesomeness and Fabulosity.
    .-= Plano Mom´s last blog ..Another Why… =-.

  6. Honey, you look beautiful in that dress. You are beautiful (really, I think you have a beautiful face, for starters), and the dress is gorgeous and looks just right on you. And I’m a great believer in pampering beauty and sharing it. Which you did. With the dress, the photos, and the idea. And I thank you for it all. Rock on 🙂

    (I have no idea what my red dress is. But promise to think about it.)

  7. I SO needed this today. I have been pretty down lately, and this is just the reminder I needed. Bless you, Jenny. Your red dress rocks. 🙂

  9. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE this idea! Except Red (and yellow) make me look like a corpse – so I am going to go out and find the most awesomest Dark Green Ball Gown I can find and then I am going to meet you at Blogher and we can share a dance together. All of us.
    Love it.
    .-= Kit´s last blog ..Vindictive Love Tips =-.

  10. I love you, and I love that you did this. That dress was clearly made for you to wear it barefoot in a graveyard.
    .-= Mir´s last blog ..Mental =-.

  11. That dress is so rockin’ hot that it doesn’t need shoes. In fact, shoes would just get in the way. That dress begs for free wiggling toes, windblown hair and some dude with Fabio’s body running his fingers over the seams, grinning guiltily… wait.. what was I saying?

    Oh YEAH.. and you’re full of awesome sauce.. and stuff 🙂

  13. Oh wow – that dress is AWESOME and so are you!

    I had an idea awhile ago for a party – the theme was the “justify your purchase” party. Women could all come wearing the gorgeous shoes that they bought that don’t quite fit and go with nothing or the absolutely stunning ball gown that they fell in love with even though they never go to balls – you get the idea. And men could bring the power tools they had to have that they don’t use. So 1) it’s a party and 2) now you have finally worn that dress / those shoes / etc. and maybe men would actually find someone who wanted or needed to borrow the tools – I don’t know. I’m still working on the boy part…

    Your post is making me feel like I need to have a party! 😉
    .-= My Baby Sweetness´s last blog ..An idea as smooth as a baby’s bottom… I hope! =-.

  18. I love this! And you look great!

    This is such an inspiring post. I really love it. I’ve been working really hard to live more like this lately. Just the other day, I went dancing for the first time ever! I’ve always been too inhibited.
    .-= Windsor Grace´s last blog ..OMG, I danced, you guys =-.

  19. I love this so much it HURTS me!! What an incredible post! You are GORGEOUS inside and out dear woman.

  21. “I want, just once, to wear a bright red, strapless ball gown with no apologies. I want to be shocking, and vivid and wear a dress as intensely amazing as the person I so want to be.”

    OMG OMG I want those SAME THINGS, TOO but I always get stuck on where I’m supposed to tuck my penis.
    .-= moooooog35´s last blog ..How to Get Social Services to Take your Children Away =-.

  22. Luv it. Luv it. Luv it. I did something similar a while ago. I brought an emerald green silk and French black lace, totally theatrical top. It’s beautiful and impractical and it was way out of my budget. I’m home bound thanks to a chronic illness so I’ll never go anywhere to wear it,( though I could just say bugger it and wear it to my next MRI), but I love it. Every time I look at it I smile. Every now an then I just put it on just cause I want to, and I feel happy. I luv your dress, I love that you were dancing barefoot in a cemetery, I love that you are taking it to blogher, and I love how happy you look in it. 🙂
    .-= Rusty Hoe´s last blog ..Fabulous Fridays: All Hail the Mighty Geek. =-.

  24. I could respond with paragraphs of praise of how this post absolutely was the best thing to read first thing in the morning and exactly what I’ve needed lately but instead I’m just going to cut to the heart of the matter:

    Thank you.

  25. You know I love ALL your posts but this, it’s hands down the best thing you’ve ever written. BTW, you look stunning in the dress, even with no shoes. One day when I find my red dress and finally get to wear it, I’ll send you a photo because you’re right, I’ll be the sort of person that tries to find a thousand excuses why I shouldn’t wear it. But I promise to and when I do, you’ll be the first person I show it to.

  27. Oh my. Oh my. The very first thing I thought when I saw the first photo. Oh my… WHAT a beautiful photo – what a beautiful woman 🙂 (And I *knew* it must have been taken by Karen!) Then I looked at all of them. And read your post. And then read Karen’s. And cried.

    Thank you for sharing your beauty and your fun and your craziness and all of it with us, your internets. Thank you for starting my day with tears of joy and laughter. Love to you!

  28. Love it, love it, love it. You look beautiful in that gown. And as someone who loves fashion and often sees ridiculous gowns in stores that I desperately just want to wear once even though I have absolutely no reason to wear them except to feel pretty, I agree wholeheartedly with everything you’ve said in this post.

    It’s doing whatever it takes to feel good about yourself- no need for explanations, no need for apologies.
    .-= Chloe´s last blog ..Outfit Of The Day (Lazy Sunday) =-.

  30. Jenny, one of my very best friends is very good friends with Sunny from Rubypearl and she and her daughters actually model for her. Her name is Katey Gilligan. Maybe you know her? The world just keeps getting smaller and smaller. You look absolutely lovely in the red dress. I hope you get many uses out of it!
    .-= Lisa W.´s last blog ..Father Daughter Dance 2010 =-.

  32. This is lovely. YOU are lovely and a vision in red. I have so many “Red Dresses” in my life. And I do feel like I shouldn’t have them. I don’t think I can buy nice clothes until I’m not fat. It’s something I live with every damn day. I’ll see something I completely love… AND it comes in my size… AND if I scrimp on the Starbucks for about a week it’s not TOO too expensive… AND it’s lovely. But it’ll look better when I’m not fat. So I don’t get it.
    I feel like I want a better job and to make more money. But I don’t see any reason why someone would want me for any better job or more money and if I don’t think I’m worth more than I’m making why would any boss?
    So I love you for trying to tell me I’m worth it. It’s definitely something I struggle with. When anyone tell me that, even if it’s simply a blogger saying it to people she doesn’t know, it cuts me deep and makes me bawl. The truth hurts. So thank you. Hearing that I’m worth it is nice, believing it is the hard part. Maybe someday.
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..Boogie Nights =-.

  34. Beautiful photos, beautiful subject. I love your message too. I am trying to embrace my “red dress” by working with two fabulous musicians and sing jazz, in public. Possibly for money. Like someone might actually pay to hear ME sing. Oh my colon.
    .-= MidLifeMama´s last blog ..Reflecting on beauty… =-.

  36. When I was young, I dreamed of being married in a beautiful red dress that my mother would make for me. I found the guy and made all the arrangements for the wedding. My mother REFUSED to make me the dress of my dreams. I was pressured into picking a conventional white wedding dress. Every day closer to the wedding I agonized about being married in the color of death. I couldn’t do it. I needed to wear the red dress. My family, friends, and fiance polarized around color of my dress, mostly in favor of the deathly white dress. I never married so I never wore the white dress. I’m 50 now. If I ever decide to marry, can I borrow your gorgeous RED dress?????

  41. When you say that the dress is “inappropriate for a woman my age” it just pisses me off. Young skinny unwrinkled women have not really earned the right to wear such dresses. I have long been a proponent of the idea that we should start out old and get younger looking as we get wiser. Jenny, that dress is completely appropriate for you and next year you are going to need an even prettier one.
    .-= happyhourmary´s last blog ..Becker Malbec =-.

  42. You’re so right. Whenever I start to think, “I’m too old, too out of shape, too silly and clumsy to be a belly dancer,” I will re-read this post. Because belly dance is my red dress and it’s hard to justify it to yourself sometimes. But it’s worth it. I know it is. 🙂

  43. Red is your color! I love how gorgeous and free you look in it! Beautiful pictures hard to choose one favorite!

  44. I’ve got tears too. That was the most beautiful thing. I didn’t know I needed so badly to read it.

    Thank you.

  45. Although I don’t always leave a comment, I want you to know that you inspire me daily. Thank you for kicking ass.

    Hugs
    Jess

    P.S. I still owe you a leprechaun story
    .-= Jessica Hampson´s last blog ..My Poor Parents =-.

  46. That is a beautiful dress. And you are beautiful too.

    Now, can we just channel the ‘I’m worth it’ you’ve got going on while I freak out over a panel thing I’m speaking on, to like, Media and Entertainment people and holy fuck. I am worth it. I can do this. [breeeath]
    .-= Veronica´s last blog ..Headfuck =-.

  48. Applause. I’m proud of you. I’m not sure what my red dress is today…but I’m going to think about it.

  49. Love this! I wore a red dress to a wedding – long and swirly and fantastic – even though I wasn’t thin enough or young enough and it felt AMAZING. I get happy when I see the photos and happy when I see it hanging in my closet.

    I think definitely we all need to wear our red dresses. I’ll tackle the next red dress issue – it’s easier when I remember how I felt wearing the actual red dress.
    .-= Suniverse´s last blog ..Return of the Migraine =-.

  50. Love the dress, love the photos, love the notion of just ‘doing it’.

    Am now going to skip around the City of London barefoot and fancy-free belting out the lyrics to Mamma Mia at full volume.

    In my undies.

    LCM x
    .-= London City Mum´s last blog ..Foot(wear) fetish =-.

  52. Crying in my cubicle for the second time this morning. (Your fault both times!) Gorgeous. I’m going to dig my fucking novel out of the drawer.

  54. You’re a beautiful lady. But holyshitOMG, you brought your new camera into the graveyard? You’re just asking for more ghost damage, aren’t you?

  55. How amazing you are Jenny. It’s no wonder we all love you. You were born for that dress. I’m going to finish my novel. My novel is my red dress. It seems so pointless and unpublishable. But it’s still my red dress.
    .-= tara´s last blog ..Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol =-.

  57. I love you, Jenny! I LOVE how funny you are but I LOVE LOVE LOVE how you are working to inspire people to love themselves and accept themselves and others.

  58. Last week I finally bought myself a vintage film camera. Many people asked “What special effects does it have?” then gave me a queer look when I said, “None, it’s just a film camera.” I bought my little red dress – it is small clunky metallic, about four times as old as me, and I love it to bits. 🙂

  59. I’ll be sharing this with my friends and then I’ll be out wearing my purple dress. Thank you.
    .-= Rachel´s last blog ..Sam =-.

  60. Oooooo…I love the red dress!!! Although I am already red so I want one in emerald. Oh heck can she make me into a Celtic goddess? I would rock it and not give one flying leap. I love to torture my teenage sister with my funky artsy side ( I dig crazy shoes). As I tell her ” I like to fly me freak flag”

    PS: You look stunning in that dress and blissfully happy 🙂
    .-= Tickled Red´s last blog ..Washers for a waffle iron. =-.

  61. You’re supposed to make me laugh until I cry! Not cry because you’re being profound!

    I’m too damn big for a red dress! lol

    But I might just go and get my nose pierced like I’ve been yearning for for years! Except I keep talking myself out of it because I’m a suburban stay at home mom…
    .-= Susie Kline´s last blog ..Spread The Love–Says Jan =-.

  63. I’m in that group of readers/commenters who are crying now. Thanks for another post that reminds me of what matters most. Plus, you are intensely amazing. Maybe that’s simply because you want to be and have the courage to be.
    .-= Myg´s last blog ..It’s heeeerrrrreeeee! =-.

  65. You amaze me with every post you write.
    This, right here is inspiring.
    Thank you.

  67. Started to think of the looks I would get wearing the red dress (which looks insanely gorgeous) but then I remembered I have photos of me in a halter top and camo mini skirt so then I spiraled off into thought about how soft it must feel. And I always wonder why people question that I’m a normal healthy hetero male…/shrug.

    I need to find my own figurative red dress now, life is exhausting me. Thanks for another inspiring and insane blog post. Always the highlight of my day.

  68. Wow. I’m in utter awe. This post is amazing, the pictures are amazing, YOU are amazing! Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!!!
    .-= Malia´s last blog ..Doubt =-.

  71. Be free girl! I love it. I love it. I love it. I love it when women have the courage to be silly, and crazy, and beautiful, and dramatic, and inspiring, and all of that in public. Glad to see you are inspiring other’s to do the same.
    .-= Kellyology´s last blog ..Monday MckLinky: What are you going? =-.

  72. Jenny I want to thank you and Karen for sharing your RED DRESS. You and the dress are breathtaking. My red dress today is ASKING for the job that I need and has been waiting for me. Letting me use my creativity to inspire others as you have inspired me…

  73. We don’t have a lot of money most of the time, so when I see people who spend a thousand dollars on a stroller or $800 on a dress, I naturally begin to roll my eyes and mutter “must be nice” under my breath. But when I got to the end of the post, I was grinning from ear-to-ear. I think it’s fantastic that you’re doing this project, and encouraging women to LIVE and BE and DO. Vibrantly. <3
    .-= McMama´s last blog ..Short Thoughts on Mothering =-.

  79. you are inspiring and beautiful in your red dress. who needs the damned shoes?

  80. Beautiful idea, stunning dress.

    My own figurative red dress is a motorcycle. Sure I’m worth it, but I can’t afford it and I may be too old to get my leg over it. I have trouble getting in and out my recliner for starters. Plus my wife says when I crash and lose all feeling from the waist down she will not change my diapers. That seems fair…cold, but fair.
    .-= Jonah Gibson´s last blog ..Day 157 – Settling In =-.

  81. This is the most marvelous thing ever. Please let the dress come to Oregon. I will host a huge party for it. I will even make it a cake and make balloon animals for it, if it likes balloon animals. And cake.
    .-= juliejulie´s last blog ..Oprah and Hula Hoops =-.

  83. Gorgeous. So pretty! I, too, have a crazy desire for a red dress like that.

    A couple lesbians I know got married, and one of them wore a gorgeous red princess dress. If it takes a lesbian wedding to get myself one, maybe I need to make some lifestyle choices.

    LOVE your blog, by the way. Get more excited than I probably should when I see it on my Google Reader.

  87. Wow, that dress is amazing! Your friend is a fabulously talented designer and very funny too. You look awesome!
    .-= christina´s last blog ..G-d =-.

  88. “And the more I thought about it the more I realized how often we deny ourselves that red dress and all the other capricious, ridiculous, overindulgent and silly things that we desperately want but never let ourselves have because they are simply “not sensible” ”

    This made me bust into tears.
    I need that fucking red dress.

  89. You are resplendent in your swirly red dress. Resplendent.

    And I am crying like a baby because you’ve taken my heart and given it this tender tug. I have a novel and it is ready to go and it is my red dress because I don’t know if it’s good enough and I’m so afraid, so afraid to step off the cliff and just leap. Instead I busy myself with the ordinary day to day of life, making excuses for why I just don’t try. I’m going to slip my dress on and dance and swirl and leap, because I am good enough.

    Thank you, Jenny. I have to go sop up my tears now and then dust off a little something I’ve had hidden for far too long.
    .-= joann mannix´s last blog ..And In The End, It’s All About The Teeth =-.

  91. I have written, spoke, shouted and sent smoke signals, often and passionately, about taking life wherever you can find it, singing loudly, complimenting strangers and generally letting yourself be brilliant, loud, shiny and sparkly. I love this post.

    Many years ago, a week before leaving for college, the mom of my best friend – who helped me through some nasty family crap – gave me a box of three pairs of audacious red undies because THAT was one way a young woman could feel bold and invincible as she took the next step in her life. That woman has a nasty kind of cancer now, and we are fighting for her with every thought. But she is the sort of woman who would wear a strapless red dress to the grocery store simply because it needed to be seen, and she needed to be seen in it.

    Please allow me to extend an invitation to bring the red dress to Wine Country where I would arrange a tour of some majorly glam and/or quietly delicious wineries with some quality women who all *intimately* understand why one would stand naked in a graveyard so an outrageous piece of apparel could be worn properly.
    .-= Lori @ In Pursuit of Martha Points´s last blog ..And it’s Potluck Day! =-.

  92. Love the pics! Really do. Looked at the others and they were stunning! My daughter will be a junior next year so I am planning out her senior pics, one of MY plans (which she rolled her eyes at and agreed to), wearing a ball gown while standing barefoot in a stream…because that is just her…and she’ll laugh and be herself and so will I…but I like the graveyard idea…for senior pictures might be odd…so maybe just for family photos. Oh, and can I say, your boobs look amazing??!!! I found a victorian lace dress at a second hand store I just HAD to buy…I have no where to wear it, but it called my name..now I think I’ll just wear it to walk to dog… ROCK ON, JEN.

  93. Thank you! Wonderful piece. You look fabulous in your red dress, just fabulous.
    I can’t even dream about my ‘red dress’…. tears falling.

  94. There are many things I love about life…

    • I love that it bothers me.
    • I love that it doesn’t.
    • I love that everywhere I turn people are feeling something…
    • And I love you.

    You’re hilarious, crude, unsensible, magical, entrancing, witty, intelligent, naughty and easy to talk to.
    And yes I mean talk to… I feel like when I read your blog, that when I read a sentence, I get the completely irrational feeling of wanting to ask a question… and then two sentences later you answer it… You remind me of my best friend, I had to leave her in another state in Australia… I felt like apart of me was left behind… And while I do still talk to her… I miss her ways… then I found you! As completely and utterly individual as you are… I can’t help but know.. that is someday… we ever had the chance to meet…

    You would be my best friend… I don’t care how old you are… how unstable… how stable… how saucy… I know that you’d get me… because I feel that you already do.. You’re so amazingly out there that it puts me back in the state of mind that whatever I say… no matter what… I’m hilarious & stupid at the same time.

    Thanks to you blogess I feel like who I am is totally worth it! And you’re post today… it just reiterates that who you are is absolutely perfect.

  95. I am now referencing this exact post for every single client who has an emaciated Venus on their hand or a life lesson of self-worth and guilt. This is EXACTLY the gift they need. Thank you. What a wonderful, perfect, fabulous project. and dress.
    .-= Peggie´s last blog ..I’ve got my life purpose – now what? =-.

  97. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!
    My red dress is writing. I’m 24, newly married and I haven’t written any thing in about 4 years. It’s not that I don’t have the time or the desire, it’s that I’m scared…I’m scared that I’m not good enough. My fear is that what I think is humorous is really stupid, what I find important and urgent is really ignorance and that the emotions I keep hidden are not worth mentioning.

    However, today I’m putting my fears, doubt and insecurities aside. Today, I’m going to write, I will hold nothing back and be completely honest.

    I want you to know, Bloggess, that this blog has done more than made me laugh, it has caused tears…your honesty and wit have inspired me and renewed my passion for writing.

    Plus, you have some pretty amazing boobs in that dress 😉

  99. Beautiful dress. Beautiful photos. Beautiful sentiment in this post. If you don’t mind, I’d like to share my red dress story with you. My grandma was one of the most amazing people I have ever known. She did so much for so many people and always put herself last. She didn’t want praise for what she did. She didn’t want to stand out.

    When my mom was younger, my grandma used to babysit neighbors’ kids while their parents worked. One of the boys she babysat, whose family became so entwined with our own it’s hard to believe we aren’t actually related, told my grandma that when he grew up and got a job he was going to buy her a red dress. It became family lore because my grandma is not a “red dress” person. The story was told over and over. Every time “Timmy” came to a family gathering, as a young man, as a husband, a father, as a 40+ year old, we would once again hear the story of the red dress.

    One year on her birthday, 40-something Timmy came to the birthday party with a box for her. She opened it and we all gasped and laughed as she pulled a red shirt dress out of the box. It wasn’t flashy or sparkly. It was exactly the kind of dress she would normally wear, except in a beautiful, bright, attention-grabbing shade of red. She wore the dress from time to time. And she glowed in it. The color was perfect for her skin tone and the cut of the dress flattered her tall, slender frame. She always paired it with a white cardigan, but not to hide or minimize the dress. She truly loved the dress and that’s how she felt most comfortable wearing it. I have a picture of her wearing it the last time she ever left her house. I am as big as a house, 7 months pregnant, at my baby shower in September 2004. She is frail and gaunt, sick with pancreatic cancer. But she was there. In her red dress. She died about 6 weeks later, and as was her way, she left detailed instructions for all of us with details on the arrangements she had already made and with requests for after her death. She asked to be buried in one of two dresses. Very pretty dresses in light, muted colors, one of which she wore to the 50th anniversary party we threw for her and my grandpa 10 years earlier. And while we followed and respected her wishes in almost every other case, it was instead the red dress, with a demure white cardigan covering her arms, that she was buried in instead. My grandpa was in a construction accident that left him a paraplegic for 33 years until he passed away in 2000. She took care of him every day, without falter. At her funeral, the preacher, who was a personal family friend, said that he hoped that when my grandma got to heaven, she and my grandpa could dance together, her in her red dress and him with two good legs. And that’s why stories of red dresses always make me smile.
    .-= Jill´s last blog ..Baby No More =-.

  100. This was such a sweet and beautiful and inspiring post. I’ve been very low on money for almost a year now working for AmeriCorps and because of it I feel guilty each and every time I treat myself to anything, even if it’s something small. This reminds me that I don’t need to feel guilty for having a little indulgence every now and then.

  101. I absolutely love it. But why give it away? Why not just wear that sucker out on your trips to the grocery store?
    .-= Jennifer´s last blog ..Superstar =-.

  103. About a year ago I found your blog in a reference from another, which shall remain nameless but rhymes with “juice.” I have never – looked – back. You, Jenny…YOU…are a goddess! You are my hero.

    You inspire me to remember myself. You make me laugh out loud at work. And your links never fail to be awesome. You are so smart and funny and loving and GORGEOUS! Don’t ever stop. That’s not a request. (except pretty please please?!!)

    I love you. From one stranger to another, thank you.

  104. This is simply amazing!! I wish I was going to Blogher! I think more women should celebrate their lives & their unique beauty! So wonderful! Thanks for the reminder 😀
    .-= Amanda´s last blog ..Dancing in Circles =-.

  107. You are so beautiful!! Thank you for sharing your joy … I am inspired to find my own red dress and take it out for a twirl. Just because. Well, I just bought black motorcycle boots. Same thing. Will rock them out.

  109. My mother taught me that when you look for a special dress you find a dress that YOU wear, not that WEARS YOU.

    I believe that dress could be worn by none other. Exquisite.
    .-= Pammer´s last blog ..Nine =-.

  110. it fits you so well. Really, I think it means you shouldn’t even restrict yourself from wearing it whenever you want. You’re just beautiful.

    I feel like dressing up now. XD

  112. I love you, Jenny. I really do. I needed to read this today. Thank you and your badass dress.

  113. A friend at work here in San Diego, CA turned me on to your blog. I have laughed so hard that I had to close my door. I’ve cried from laughter so many times that I can’t count as I’ve poured through your exploits. This post, however, touched me deeply. It is one of the most sweetly articulate things I’ve ever read. I was moved to tears – and not from laughter this time – in my office at work today. Thank you so much.

  118. One of the reasons you’re so beautiful is because you’re wearing a red dress while barefoot. You look amazing. A swirl of red silk around your hips and green grass poking between your toes. How could you NOT look beautiful?

    And everyone should get naked in a public place at least once.

  120. OK I love you. I love you for nurturing a seed of an idea that plants itself in others minds. You fucking rock!

  121. I lived my youth like this. Somehow we all seem to think that as we get older things become inappropriate or that we don’t deserve them anymore. Thank you for this post.

    I have a red dress story, it is from my university years. I have always had a knack for picking out gems at second hand stores. One of my best friends came with me and enlisted my help in picking out a dress for the weekend. I asked her what she wanted exactly and she said “long”. All I did was bend over and look underneath the rack for the longest dress I could find. It was polyester and it was pleated with an empress waistline. It was sleeveless with a mock turtleneck collar. She said “It is gorgeous! But I *can’t* wear red!” I insisted that she try it on. It fit like a glove and she was stunning. She wore the hell out of that red dress. Yes, it didn’t cost $ 800 but it was a treasure, indeed.
    .-= melistress´s last blog ..My Google-Fu Has Failed Me =-.

  122. I don’t know why this made me cry……wait, yes I do. I spent last night watching my students graduate from high school, and drove home with tears streaming down my face. I cried because I would miss them, I cried because my part in their life is done, and I cried with happiness for the adventures they are getting ready to go on. And maybe I cried because I didn’t believe I could still feel that free. But, now I’m crying because of your post because I realized NOTHING is impossible. And damnit, I am going to find my red dress.

    You kick some major ass, Jenny.

  123. I just love you!
    My red dress is a black and purple zebra print purse.
    It makes no sense, it goes with absolutely NOTHING I own.. but I want it. After reading this post, I’m going to go buy it…. today!

    Thank you!
    We ARE worth it.

  124. I want to frame this post and hang it in every room so that my daughters grow up knowing that they can have their red dress and their crazy dances in public and their nonsensical sparkling shoes. World? Oyster. Thank you.
    .-= Angela´s last blog ..Some apples barely fall from the tree. =-.

  125. Thanks for making me tear up and consequently choking on a spaghetti noodle that I was shoveling into my mouth while reading your post. Love this post!!!!!

  126. Is it possible to love someone that you’ve never met? Because I totally love you. Seriously. You look amazing in the dress, and I absolutely love that you took the pictures in a graveyard! I would definitely do that, other than the fact that I’m terrified that dead people are going to reach out of their graves and grab my feet if I walk on them. It’s terribly hard to walk through a graveyard without stepping on any graves, and I know I look funny trying to skip around them all. So I doubt the pictures would be all that great.

    Wooh, anyway – you inspire me on so many levels! Rock that red dress.
    .-= Kendahl´s last blog ..I Looked Out The Window And What Did I See? =-.

  127. I never wear heels because they aren’t practical, I’m tall enough as it is, and they sink into the turf at the park.

    That’s it. I’m getting heels. I’m going to stand tall. I’m going to shake my hips when I walk. (More than they already shake.) And I’m going to smile from ear to ear.

    I hope I pull it off as well as you did in that amazing red dress.

  128. Oh, and PS? You should include some sort of warning about the tears this post, and especially the comments, may cause. Something like “not really safe to read at work if you work around a whole bunch of people that may look at you like you’re crazy when tears are streaming down your face”. You know, something along those lines.
    .-= Kendahl´s last blog ..I Looked Out The Window And What Did I See? =-.

  129. All the people who posted before me already said all the things I’m feeling, but here goes anyway. This post and your beautiful pictures are truly inspiring and exactly what I needed today. I have nothing clever or witty or sardonic to add. Just this: Thank you, Jenny! I love your Blog and I love that dress!

  133. Jenny, you are one of my favorite people in the world (except for key members of my family which I won’t go into because I don’t want to make the others jealous). I’ve always loved your sense of humor and blunt approach, but this is truly one of the most lovely things I’ve read in a while. I adore the fact that you bought this dress just because (and you also look amazing in it!). We spend so much time denying ourselves that we let life pass us by and that isn’t what it’s all supposed to be about, is it? So thank you, Jenny, Mistress Bloggess, for reminding me that life is short; too short to ignore life’s simple little pleasures.
    .-= Danica Avet´s last blog ..Advice From Non-Writers =-.

  135. These photos are absolutely gorgeous! You are fantastic, and this post is so inspiring. I am about to graduate from college, and this helps remind me that there is more out there than work or school… Thank you!

  136. I’ve been having the shittiest month I can rememeber and this post totally made me cry, at work, in my flip flops and pony tail. Thank you for making me remember life can be fun.

  138. Love the dress, love the post, love what you are saying and really love the idea of posing in that red dress for a photo at BlogHer. If the line isn’t two hours long (i.e. Can I make an appointment with the dress?) I will be accosting you in person soon.

    Just bought my plane tickets today, in fact!! W00T! W00T! Best BlogHer evah!!!!!
    .-= Amy @ The Bitchin’ Wives Club´s last blog ..Living the Dream (?) =-.

  139. I have to say, I was having an absolutely horrible day. In fact, I’ve been in blubbering hysterics most of today as I found out someone very dear to me recently ended his long term battle with juvenile huntington’s disease. I came to your blog looking for a pick me up, because you are amazingly witty and charming in your own insane way, and it does brighten my mood to read your posts. Then I found this, and went and looked at the entire set of pictures, and I found myself smiling. You are a strikingly beautiful and unique person, Jenny. Your smile is infectious, and you should know that today you helped brighten a complete stranger’s day with a red dress and a genuine grin.

  140. Sigh.
    Jenny, I love your crazy days, but you know, I just might love you more when you turn that off.
    Another reason to regret not making it to BlogHer. Maybe someday I’ll take a weekend trip to Houston and hunt you down.

  145. I love it and I totally agree. A few (too many) years ago I spent and entire summer looking at a dress in a store, but never bought it. Red with polka dots. I was in heaven!!! Finally at the end of the summer I spent the money and bought the dress. I loved the dress and everything it represented. I wore it with totally ridiculous shoes that were as awesome as the dress. I loved it!! Thanks for sharing your red dress with us, it is great!
    .-= Kellie´s last blog ..Summer Vacation =-.

  146. You bring happiness to so many people and the idea behind your red dress is pretty much the epitome of how we should all live our lives. Plus you look a-may-zing!

    :->

  150. What a positively awesome way to celebrate you! Great idea! I’m going to go find my red dress (without shoes to match) and have a picture taken, too! Fabulous idea! Go you!
    .-= Jane´s last blog ..Teetering On A Tightrope =-.

  152. What a great post!

    Thank you, Jenny, for reminding me to shine — in whatever form that might be!

    Great dress, great photos!

    Alyson

  156. My daughter got married (well, for the fourth time) in a MAGENTA ball gown – and it was gorgeous!

  157. Hey Lady! I LOOOVE this post. That Beautiful Dress. Your Beautiful smile while wearing that dress. You ARE SO worth it. So am I. Everyone is.

  158. Awesometasticious! You are worth it. I am considering going to BlogHer just so I can share a cab with you again. Now I’m adding the red dress to my list of reasons to stalk you.
    .-= mamikaze´s last blog ..finding a new hairstyle =-.

  159. Wow. Just this weekend, we drove by a house that was a deep red colour. I told my hubby that I loved that colour and then remembered how I had always wanted a dress in the colour. In velvet. And it must be of the deepest, darkest red. And then I thought, “Oh well. Guess I won’t end up doing that. My body is not worth putting into a dress like that now.”

    But you know what? You’re right. I’m worth it. And my body is worth it too! It may be worse for wear after bearing two children, but that just proves its worth even more. 🙂

    Also, what Gregg said.

    And I hope to see you at BlogHer 🙂

  161. Damn–I got a little watery. Let me just add that it is never to late to “put on your red dress”

  162. I am signing up for culinary school today so that I can create and cook and blog and be happy.

  164. Such a refreshing post! Yes I am worth it, we all are! I have a little black number that has been sitting in my closet for 2 years. I’m thinking its time to take it out.
    .-= AS Novus´s last blog ..important things… =-.

  165. Girl, you make that dress look good – the pictures are really stunning.
    Well done, you!
    And, the post in general made ME cry, because I’ve been thinking of all i’ve given up and not done since moving to Wales. And since I’m gonna miss Blogher this year…

    I don’t know what my red dress is, but I’m gonna figure it out. Thanks for that.

    You really do look gorgeous!

  166. I just woke up. I just woke up after a night of questioning myself and what I want to do with myself in a year when I’m done with college and what story I want to use to make a name for myself and if I can even do it. It’s the hundredth time I’ve spent a night and morning/early afternoon this way.

    And once again, because this certainly isn’t the first time, I’ve woken up to YOU reminding me that I’m not going to make it if I don’t just throw it all out there and TRY. I’ve got a shot and I need to take it, whether I miss or not. I’ve always got a “red dress” and I’m always too hesitant to wear it, and then you make posts like this and I want to just metaphorically break out my red dress and run around in the street.

    So, thanks for that, Jenny. Never ever EVER stop being who you are, because some of us need that little reminder to be who WE are every now and then and you’re the only one with the balls to remind us.

  169. Why is it that today? Out of all days…. When my dog chewed my favorite pair of shoes and I was late to work and I stepped on poo on the way out and that made me even later and then I had to clean my shoe and had a literal titty attack on my living room floor! You write this absolutely beautiful, inspiring, and friggin’ awesome post. THANK YOU. I so needed that today. p.s. You look gorje in that red dress honey. Work it! Even if it’s at the grocery store.
    .-= Annah´s last blog ..100 Days of Torture: Day 12 =-.

  171. Going to BlogHer this year IS my red dress! So what a delight it will be to have your dress there to greet me when I arrive. You are amazing.

  173. Really needed this today. In the last two years I’ve gained 20 pounds and lately I’ve been feeling like my boyfriend is losing interest in me (although every now and again he goes out of his way to do something nice for me, so really I know I’m just being silly… ) So I guess my big red dress is probably rich, greasy food and possibly belly dancing.

    Did I mention I’ve been belly dancing for 3 years? That’d be my other red dress. You should join us. In a belly dance outfit that exact color. (We’re in Houston, so, y’know… 😀 )

  175. I love the photos – & your blonde hair! I want you to know that I did this exact thing not too long ago – well, except for the getting-photos-taken part… I always want to try on the prom dresses in department stores but I never do because I have no use for one, being a mom & stuff. I passed one last time I was shopping that was cherry red & sequiny & beautiful & I decided I had to try it on. Once I tried it on, I decided I had to own it. I have no place to wear it to, but I did something spur-of-the-moment & maybe a little over-the-top, & I did it just for me. You are a good influence. Now maybe I will be brave enough to take the dress out of hiding & wear it somewhere!
    .-= Dizzy Goddesski´s last blog ..FlyteAphrodite: Self esteem may be at an all-time low. I am NOT Demi Moore. I am NOT Demi Moore. I am NOT Demi Moore. I am NOT Demi Moore. Argh. =-.

  176. Also, that is totally not my “blog” – because I don’t have one. Where’s the thing that you have to put your twitter info in? I’m so confused now. I may never comment again out of sheer humiliation. 🙁

  177. Wow, pure and simple. I cannot thank you enough for this post. Finding it this morning was both a “we are led to the things we need” and “everything happens for a reason” moment. I’m not sure if I believe in those things, but I do believe I needed to read this today.

    I have dedicated my life to helping others live their lives to the fullest, to choose happiness in their every day life, and to spread positivity to those they love. But, WOW, did I forget about me. I spend so much time fussing with other’s emotional states and have all but forgotten my own.

    And on Sunday I turned 26. And vowed I’d do everything bigger and brighter than before without really knowing how. And now, I think I do. And I’m jazzed. And it’s all on you. Thanks.

  179. What a great post and great photos! We all need to find our red dress. We get so caught up in our day-to-day jeans and tee shirt existence that we don’t stop and and take the time to do the things that rock our faces off. And we should. Now I’m off to find my “red dress.”

  180. Jenny, reading this made me tear up. You have said all the things we all want to say, and I love that red dress in its beauty and impracticality. I’d pose in it if you sent it to Iowa.

    Sometimes, when no one else is home, I put on my wedding dress (from 3 years ago) and walk around the house in it. I feel fabulous again for that short time.

  181. I have a pair of red leather snakeskin pants. I wore them to the supermarket one day and this woman stopped, stared at me and said, “You know, not everyone can pull that look off.”

    It had never occurred to me that those pants warranted any other comment but I LOVE YOUR PANTS. I was incorrect. As I often am.
    .-= Suzy´s last blog ..Why I Can’t Do Drugs =-.

  182. I commented already but then when you tweeted about the comments, I had to come back and read. You’ve made all these people cry at work, Jenny! But totalyl worth it.

    I’ve got a few ideas as to what my red dress might be…probably grad school, but I love Kristin’s comment: “You’re so right. Whenever I start to think, “I’m too old, too out of shape, too silly and clumsy to be a belly dancer,” I will re-read this post. Because belly dance is my red dress and it’s hard to justify it to yourself sometimes. But it’s worth it. I know it is.”

    I love that because I doubt myself for the things I’m passionate about, I’m not skinny enough to be a dancer, I’m not smart enough to go back to grad school, not talented enough to be a writer or a professor, not pretty enough to be loved or to deserve the happiness I have.

    AH. JENNY. Thank you for posting entries like this for all of us who try and act normal and have on a happy face but inside are struggling with doubt or fear and then we come read this and you say it so simply but eloquently and we are ok for another day.

  183. I love how in musicals people just break out in song. So I taught my friends a song so that we could lived in a musical! And one day, over ten years ago, in Providence, Rhode Island, it began to snow. The song was about snowing so everyone just started singing their parts without any effort or plan — months after I’d taught them. (It actually took me a minute to figure out what was going on.) I still fall in love with my friends and that moment every time I think of it.

    It’s a red dress moment for me 🙂 I just it’s time for another one. (But I can totally teach you the song at BlogHer. It’s worth it.)
    .-= Alex@LateEnough´s last blog ..Why Old Men Should Stay Home. Or At Least Not Talk To Me. =-.

  184. do you think the dress could ever make a trip to south carolina? i’d return her. tonight, I am going to the river. I am going to sit on a rock at the river with me feet in the cold water, watching the sunset, reading a book, and feeling the smells wash over me and pretend that I am once again little and at the lake. or if I get off early enough, I will drive to the lake to do the same thing.
    .-= Luna´s last blog ..{searching} =-.

  185. beautiful. you AND this post. Also? You made me cry, which is verboten here at work because I like to appear heartless and mean and you are DESTROYING my image.

    AND…I’ll be in New York. If I suck it in, can I squeeze it on? <3
    .-= briya´s last blog ..My Weekend (In Pictures) =-.

  186. Well, you and this dress were obviously made for each other. And I get the blond hair now! I tried red dresses a couple of times, because I wanted them. I really did. But they make the rest of me look red. How stupid is that. And right now I want to wear either no clothes, or clothes like bags, and bits of strings or chop sticks in my hair. And non matching underwear. I think something’s wrong with me.
    .-= Sandrine´s last blog ..Week end charter : Marianne’s Cuba not so libre =-.

  187. You are just beautiful in that dress. I have my trains and our golf cart. Which my daughter and I are going to spray paint bright yellow with a black racing strip and the number 6 because that’s what she wants. I’ll post photos when we get it done. It’s also really old and has a great local history. A number of people where I live have owned it and one used it til he died. It’s good to fix it up.

  189. This post has inspired me to get off my toush and get my business going. Designing cross-stitch patterns. And old-lady hobby that I love because my Meemaw taught me how to cross-stitch. My sister will create the designs, I will run the business side. Has been a dream of mine for 4 years now, but I have been too scared to try it.
    Thank you Jenny for the inspiration. This business idea will be my red dress.
    Melinda

  191. When I was 18 I had a nervous breakdown, dropped out of college and received a partial tuition refund. I “should have” put the money in savings, or something equally responsible.

    I bought myself a sapphire and diamond ring.

    I still love it.

    This post is beautiful. You are beautiful.
    .-= Jenn´s last blog ..What kind of Mother are you?! =-.

  192. You fucking ROCK like nobodys business you know this right?! Holy fucking GORGEOUS….you are simply STUNNING and now…the PIT wants the red dress. I told her AuntieBloggess was in charge of wardrobe.

    No. You know what. Im going to put on my lil red dress for no good reason and Im going to rock the fucking SHIT out of it.

    Again…..stunning pics and a true inspiration~
    fucking love your guts lady
    .-= singlemomma_cc´s last blog ..Week Two’s to do (clever title I know. Im very very tired) =-.

  195. 1. My red dress will be claret colored, “Chateau Margot, 1896”, like Harriet Vane’s in the Lord Peter Wimsey books. I haven’t found it yet, but I’ve been looking for years.
    2. In the meantime, I’ve been sublimating with red shoes, which serve nicely to fill the gap. I highly recommend them.
    Jenny, you totally rock! i wish I were going to Blogher, but I will be attending either a family reunion or the National Hobo Convention (and I’m rooting for the latter). Give your skirts a swirl for me!

  196. God I hope I’m not the only one crying in my cubicle right now…
    Jenny you are a thousand different kinds of awesome. I read all the time and hardly ever comment but I wanted to thank you for this…for reminding me that I’m awesome and worth it too and for being a perfect example of what living the hell out of your life looks like. The next time I’m not sure I can or worried about whether or not I should I’ll think of you and your red dress.

  199. My “red dress” is finding someone to take pictures of me like yours. I want tobe photographed like I am a model. I am tall but “big boned.” I look good in person but photos always make me look thick. I’d like to feel beautiful in front of a camera: carefree, happy, sexy. I’ve never tried to do it because I don’t know any photographers, plus what’s the point? I’m not going to try and be a model…

    Im going to pursue this in solidarity with the women and men in your comments. And with you, one of the most inspirational people I have encountered. I am thankful to be part of your universe.
    .-= Memoirgirl´s last blog ..It Only Ends Once – My Take on the Lost Finale =-.

  200. Like moooooog35, I too would have some issues knowing where to tuck. BUT, I do have the perfect 4″ shoes for this dress should it ever come to Salt Lake.

    I would also like to note that this comment officially pops my thebloggess.com comment cherry. BOOM baby.

  201. What beauty… wow…

    I can’t go for the red dress. But I do have a red shirt that I picked up at a thrift store about 10 years ago. I put it on and immediately become “Pablo,” (it says so on the name label).

    Pablo is way cool (almost as cool as me).
    .-= The Queer Next Door´s last blog ..On Being Blue =-.

  202. I already loved you. Now I love you even more. Once in a while, when I splurge on myself, when I can – it’s a fantastic feeling. What I need to do is recognize myself and value myself constantly – without spending money. Self worth/value/esteem is my work in progress. I love that you got your dress, and that you are sharing it. Thank you for this.

  203. Jenny, you have personality, looks AND substance.

    Will you marry me?

    Just like the #happyisucklessthanyesterdayday post, the Boobquake post, and the “Hi, It’s me” post, you have once again inspired your readers to love themselves and everyone else. Thank you!

    I feel as though I’m living my Red Dress moment every day. In February, my husband decided not to be married any longer. We had been together 8 years and married over 4. For 3 of those years, I had worked at a job I hated because he didn’t want me to lose my benefits. Since February, I have moved out on my own (for the first time), made tons of new friends, realized the immensity of the support network of friends and family I do have, went out and had fun, took art classes, enrolled in a graphic design program, launched a set of my own designs on photo prints and screenprints that I do by hand, and tried eel sushi. But the most terrifying and exhilirating change came when I turned in my notice at work. I lost my mother when I was 16, and have always known that we only have ONE chance at life, and if we are unhappy, we never get a re-do. And I was so disappointed in myself when I realized that I hadn’t been living mine the way I wanted. My one chance is way too valuable to waste it on a job that I hate. It’s terrifying because I DON’T have a “foolproof backup plan” or a safety net or a superawesomefantastic benefits plan. I am smart enough to know I could fail as easily as I could fly. But I deserve to give myself the chance.

    So here I am, weighing the most I ever have from eating delicious comfort food for 4 months (damn you, Graeter’s Ice Cream), living alone, and soon-to-be-jobless, and I have never felt happier, or more confident, or more beautiful, than at any other time in my life.

    So I hope that each and every person who comes to your blog truly takes your message to heart and finds the courage to put on their Red Dress, whether it is a real dress or one that their hearts wear, because just as you found, wearing a red dress makes you feel fucking beautiful!

    Jan
    Columbus, OH
    .-= jannypie´s last blog ..Promo designs for a DJ friend =-.

  205. fantastic – what a beautiful lesson! I’m all about doing the non-sensible, the impractical & out of the realm of (most people’s) possibility – LOVE THIS and so glad you got your red on. Going outside to do a cartwheel right now – because I can & it’s fun!

  207. I’m overwhelmed by this post! It brought tears to my eyes.

    I. Want. My. Own. Red. Dress!

  211. I was raised Mormon and I’m not anymore. There was a poem that I loved/hated… And it was NOT wanting my life to be like this that made me leave the church (along with a LOT of other things)
    The red dress made me think of it!
    I think I’m gonna buy me a red dress.
    Or SOMETHING!
    If you are curious, I put the poem below. If not, ignore it:) I think there is a LOT of truth to it, whether or not you are Mormon.

    MILLIE’S MOTHER’S RED DRESS
    It hung there in the closet
    While she was dying, Mother’s red dress,
    Like a gash in the row
    Of dark, old clothes
    She had worn away her life in.
    They had called me home
    And I knew when I saw her
    She wasn’t going to last.
    When I saw the dress, I said
    “Why, Mother – – how beautiful!
    I’ve never seen it on you.”
    “I’ve never worn it,” she slowly said.
    “Sit down, Millie – – I’d like to undo
    A lesson or two before I go, if I can.”
    I sat by her bed
    And she sighed a bigger breath
    Then I thought she could hold.
    “Now that I’ll soon be gone,
    I see some things.
    Oh, I taught you good – – but I taught you wrong.”
    “What do you mean Mother?”
    “Well – – I always thought
    That a good woman never takes her turn,
    That she’s just for doing for somebody else.
    Do here, do there, always keep
    Everybody else’s wants tended and make sure
    Yours are at the bottom of the heap.”
    “Maybe someday you’ll get to them.
    But of course you never do.
    My life was like that – – doing for your dad,
    Doing for the boys, for your sisters, for you.”
    “You did – – everything a mother could.”
    “Oh, Millie, Millie, it was not good – –
    For you – – for him. Don’t you see?
    I did you the worst of wrongs.
    I asked for nothing – – for me!”
    “Your father in the other room,
    All stirred up and staring at the walls – –
    When the doctor told him, he took
    It bad – – came to my bed and all but shook
    The life right out of me. ‘You can’t die,
    Do you hear? What’ll become of me?’
    ‘ What’ll become of me?’
    It’ll be hard, all right when I go.
    He can’t even find the frying pan, you know.”
    “And you children – –
    I was a free ride for everybody, everywhere.
    I was the first one up and the last one down
    Seven days out of the week.
    I always took the toast that got burned,
    And the very smallest piece of pie.”
    “I look at how some of your brothers
    Treat their wives now
    And it makes me sick, ’cause it was me
    That taught it to them. And they learned,
    They learned that a woman doesn’t
    Even exist except to give.
    Why, every single penny that I could save
    Went for your clothes, or your books,
    Even when it wasn’t necessary.
    Can’t even remember once when I took
    Myself downtown to buy something beautiful – –
    For me.”
    “Except last year when I got that red dress.
    I found I had twenty dollars
    That wasn’t especially spoke for.
    I was on my way to pay extra on the washer.
    But somehow – – I came home with this big box.
    Your father really gave it to me then.
    ‘Where you going to wear a thing like that to – –
    Some opera or something?’
    And he was right, I guess.
    I’ve never, except in the store,
    Put on that dress.”
    “Oh Millie – – I always thought if you take
    Nothing for yourself in this world
    You’d have it all in the next – – somehow
    I don’t believe that anymore.
    I think the Lord wants us to have something – –
    Here – – and now.”
    “And I’m telling you , Millie, if some miracle
    Could get me off this bed, you could look
    For a different mother, ’cause I would be one.
    Oh, I passed up my turn so long
    I would hardly know how to take it.
    But I’d learn, Millie.
    I would learn!”
    It hung there in the closet
    While she was dying, Mother’s red dress,
    Like a gash in the row
    Of dark, old clothes
    She had worn away her life in.
    Her last words to me were these:
    “Do me the honor, Millie,
    Of not following in my footsteps.
    Promise me that.”
    I promised.
    She caught her breath
    Then Mother took her turn
    In death.
    ~Carol Lynn Pearson~
    .-= Ariel´s last blog ..Text message to my husband, 20 May, 2010 15:10 =-.

  212. My red dress is big. I’m not sure what size it is, but it’s enormous. In fact, it’s as big as a house and you know what? I just bought a house. THAT is my red dress. My GODDAMNIT, I’M WORTH THIS HOUSE AND I’M GONNA FIND A WAY TO GET IT red dress is actually a house and I’m going to wear the hell out of that, too.

    The great part about that is that it fits everyone I know. You’re welcome to put it on when you come visit me. I’d love to have you in my red dress and holy shit, this just became a little creepy and Red Tent like, but you love me already so you know what I mean.
    .-= Mocha´s last blog ..Meanwhile, Back at the Ranch =-.

  213. I think this especially holds true for us moms, who put everyone else first and look upon doing something seemingly frivolous for US as being, well, selfish.

    Thank you. Thank you. This post was more inspirational than you can imagine. I think it’s time I take that red dress out of my own closet.
    .-= Cheryl´s last blog ..Blame Canada =-.

  215. What an awesome post and gorgeous pictures. You totally rocked that red dress! I am still in search mode of my “red dress”……who knew it was going to be so hard? When we were teenagers we seemed to know exactly what we wanted as grown-ups! Now, though, just plain difficult!
    Also, I will be at BlogHer and if I can past the awe of being in your presence I may just have to try on the that red dress! 😉
    .-= Cathy ´s last blog ..Why do I even Bother to be "Green"? =-.

  218. Oh my what a beautiful post! We all know how beautiful you are inside and outside and its wonderful to see you celebrate it for us so artistically… as an inspiration! My red dress was grabbing my life and deciding to live it the way I wanted and not the way others told me I should. I wrote an erotic romance and its sequel (unpublished so YOU are right.. I’ll self publish it, dammit!), I started blogging my stories, got myself to the gym and threw myself into the online dating world. Rediscovering my joy in this processes is the greatest gift any one person can give to themselves. THAT is what all our Red Dress’s truly mean…. it is YOUR life, grab it and enJOY it and Fuck what others say, think, do or judge. Its as freeing as you twirling in that gorgeous gown. Hell, think of all the “life” you’ll add to those bored people around you. “Guess what I saw today!”

  220. Not the slightest bit hormonal this week, and still brought tears to my eyes. Especially when I realized that this is exactly why I bought the sparkly sequined chinese laundry shoes a few months ago. And many other pairs of very impractical, but wonderfully beautiful pairs of heels. Recent divorce, kids growing more independant, and stress diet that led to loss of 50 pounds all factor into the new found love of life and doing things I’ve always wanted. Eating frog legs, riding a mechanical bull, flying to atlanta georgia to meet an old high school friend. Next up is roller skates, learning poker and now it looks like I’ll need a pretty dress! 🙂
    Thanks for this today, I needed this exact piece to read.

  221. Have you ever been so bogged down and just stunted in your life that even if you could choose anything in the world you’d just die to do, nothing comes to mind? Nothing at all? I don’t know what happened to all of my dreams and aspirations, but I guess my goal right now is to find them. Oh, and I’m going to BlogHer this year and I am SO trying on that fucking dress. Maybe it’ll inspire me…
    .-= Lynn @ Walking With Scissors´s last blog ..Happy Moth’s Day! =-.

  222. I’m *sobbing* like a child as I write this. You are so fucking amazing. <3!

  225. Thank You, a million times over. I always forget about me, Thank you for the wonderful reminder, and a chance to cry today for a happy reason!

  227. You’re so gorgeous!

    I’m in training for something called the Warrior Dash. I’d have to say that that’s my red dress. It’s ridiculous and impractical and “inappropriate for a woman my age” (and size- the promotional video shows a bunch of tiny little college students). And it could go horribly, horribly wrong, but I’ve signed up for it anyway. (The link below- six impossible things- has a short video of my training thus far. Prepare yourself for a good laugh. Watching it gives me belly chuckles every time.)

    Love you!
    .-= Wendy´s last blog ..Six Impossible Things =-.

  229. I love going into the grocery store or gas station on the way to a formal event or a fab night out, just so I know for once I am the prettiest girl in the room , hands down 🙂

  230. Even though it’s only Tuesday, I am having an incredibly hard week. I usually find myself in doubt of my life decisions (this time going back to college) and my mind plays the old familiar tape of “I’m worthless. I’m going to fail.” This post was like a life preserver. Thank you! Thank you for reminding all of us that we are worthy of our dreams. And thank you for making my day a million times brighter with your beauty and contagious smile. I’m off to chase my red dress.
    .-= Ashley B´s last blog ..Black Dog Syndrome =-.

  232. You are truly an inspiration, and such a beautiful woman to boot. I have a confession: Although my loudest protests were against my dislike for convention and for the majority of my peers and for formal dances, one of the biggest reasons why I skipped prom both junior and senior year in high school is that..I was too much of a coward to find a dress. I’ve always harbored a secret desire to wear pretty dresses, but it doesn’t work out; I’m too fat, I’m too introverted, my arms are flabby, I’m not girly enough.

    Now more than ever, I am determined to find a dress that fits me, inside and out. Thank you.

  234. thank you for clearing up the “mystery of the meeting in a graveyard with camera and bail money.”

    and thank you for being you and for sharing you with us.

  235. You are fucking awesome. And so very, very right on the mark. You can tell Victor I said so.

  236. I want to marry you. Pish to that whole gender thing. Oh, and to the fact that we’re already both married to other people.

    I think I’m going to blow the dust off that book that’s been crashing around in my head that I “didn’t have time to write.” Bullshit. It’s my red dress.

    I love that you picked a cemetery as the location of the pictures. You are my hero.
    .-= Andrea (@shutterbitch)´s last blog ..I’m Not Even Going To Offer An Excuse for My Blog Absence This Time, Frakking April =-.

  237. Most of my life is that red dress.

    I spend all of my money, my time, and myself on everyone else. I have spent my birthday money on things for my kids, and not because we don’t have the money to get those things for them. Because it is so easy to see that I should splurge on them, to see things they would love and want to treat them to it, because hey, there’s only so long that he’ll enjoy that chunky wooden puzzle or she’ll like that stuffed sheep.

    I do have things I want, but I just can’t ever justify it. Thanks for turning on a light somewhere in my mental house. I may have to roam the halls for a while, but maybe eventually I’ll go in there.

  238. Jesus Jenny!
    The Re Dress made me cry! That’s not how I usually start my morning. I’ve been reading you for the past year and sometimes you make me pee my pants with laughter, and sometimes give me a great story. Now, you are making me think and feel. Sneaky! You are finding an amazing path and it’s been interesting to watch. You are a great talent and have great instincts. Thanks for giving life to the Red Dress – it is a project worthy of you!

  240. This is exactly why I’ve just hired a photographer. To take photos of me in my running gear as motivation for my next marathon. My mother would be shocked. But I…I am worth it.

    Now I need the red dress and my running shoes …together.

    Beautiful.

  241. So here I sat, contemplating my upcoming 30th birthday with much trepidation, mentally abusing myself for not being what I think I could have been and planning to buy a dress in the size I think I should be and try to punish myself into it for my birthday and I just realized – I should buy what I love, in the size I can breathe in – and make everyone smile and roll their eyes at my awesomeness… Because it would be great. And who the hell says we need more of a reason than that.

    If your dress wants a picture in wyoming, I know the perfect spot.

  244. Jenny,

    I have been a faithful reader, but have never commented.

    Simply put, you define awesomeness.

  245. You’re beautiful, it’s beautiful, this post is beautiful. Thank you.

    (I got my red dress (which isn’t a dress at all–it’s a formal, full-length, custom-made, steel-boned corset) last summer… thereby joining the ranks of audacious fat broads, everywhere. I have the footwear, but need to work on the rest of the ensemble.)

  247. p.s. I was so HAPPY to read this post, I forgot to tell you how beautiful you are. Wearing a princess dress brings out the radiant countenance in the wearer…I’m convinced of that.

    Sunny is an amazing artist; so is Karen. I want to know them both…mmmmmk?

    🙂
    .-= Robin ~ PENSIEVE´s last blog ..The color of happy =-.

  249. Oh, Jenny. This made me cry and cry and cry. I am having a god awful month and things seems to be getting worse and even heavily medicated I have trouble finding a reason to get out of bed in the morning. I wish I had a red dress.

  251. You rock!

    Now seriously, I fully understand the red dress concept. Okay, I’m about to get really serious, you may want to refill your coffee, or get a twinkie or something.

    Six months ago my husband was critically injured in an accident. In a coma for 4 weeks, in the hospital for 10 weeks, and in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. At age 48. The odds of him living beyond another couple of years aren’t good.

    Not looking for sympathy! Please!

    However, this whole thing gave me a new outlook on life and just how precious it is. Now is the only time you have. Pull out that list of things you would like to do and do them! I started a humor blog, am learning to cartoon, got a pair of those funny new workout shoes, and walk two miles a day (that’s just for starters). I realized that I have to define myself and my life and make the best of both. All while taking care of my husband and helping him adjust to his new reality.

    I’m bookmarking the red dress post and printing out the photo. Again, you rock!

  252. Okay, I want to try on the red dress at BlogHer, even though I do not have the jumblies (my sister’s word) to do it justice. As for my own personal red dress? I know the one I pine for, but the pattern isn’t even available any more. It’s my silk charmeuse “accepting an Oscar” dress–a vintage 1930s pattern. Since I do nothing that would ever be recognized by an Oscar, I’ve never sprung for the dress. But now, oh how I wish I could.
    .-= MommyTime´s last blog ..Six is the New Five =-.

  253. Pingback: Playing dress up | The Flying Fork

  255. Jenny- just found your blog today. A lovely post. I love strong, empowered, bad ass women who encourage others to sing their song, find their dream and believe in impossible possibilities. Today I will paint my nails black because I’ve always wanted to (I’m kinda the opposite of goth) and I will be thankful that I found my song. I will find something red and put it on while I paint to celebrate and honor your spirit and talent.

    Hedges & Hares http://michellemasters.com/blog

  256. Pingback: There is a Day for Everything | The Misadventures of the Frog Queen

  257. Remember being a teenager and you’d see that girl in the hallway who was so fucking cool and beautiful, and you thought…well, if I can’t BE her, can I at least be her friend? Yeah…that’s what reading your blog always makes me feel like.

    Of all your beautiful, crazy, inspirational ideas, I love this one the most and I’m not owoing to call my girls and plan a photo shoot to remind them that they are beautiful and fantastic and amazing and worth it!!

    You rock, Jenny!!!
    .-= Laura´s last blog ..Yeah, I’m That Liberal Freak… =-.

  261. At first seems wonderful and amazing but life should be like that everyday.

  263. Yesterday, the most-expensive-single-item-of-clothing-I-have-ever-bought was ruined when I unthinkingly threw a dish towel into the wash with a huge cupfull of bleach after my husband used it as duster in the basement. They were incredible pants, linen, from a store I shouldn’t have even BEEN in, it was so out of my price range. I finally talked myself into buying them… they fit great, they flattered the way they needed to flatter, and I needed the confidence they would inspire when I went to my grad school application interview. I didn’t get into grad school, but I didn’t blame the pants. I needed them again the next month, when a dear dear man I knew from high school committed suicide and his funeral was the day before my uncle’s, as my uncle had finally succumbed to cancer. I needed those pants, and I had them.
    Yesterday, I ruined them. I hated myself for wasting the money, for not taking care of the pants and having them for the however-many-years it would take to justify the price. Your words helped tremendously. Being able to stride into that interview, not worrying about the way I looked (because I knew I looked fabulous) when I hugged hundreds of people I hadn’t seen in years in front of the casket of my friend; that was worth the stupid amount of money I paid for them.
    And, now, since they’re that horrible pinkish-white, I get to buy a bunch of dye and see if I can make them a different kind of fabulous. I mean, hell, I can’t ruin ’em any MORE, right?
    .-= Mary´s last blog ..Hotel Indigo =-.

  264. You’re gorgeous, and the dress is just outstanding.

    Thank you for this post, and the tears that came with it. Sometimes we need to realize that it’s true.. Sometimes you need to say screw it and go for it!

    Thank you Jenny.
    .-= Dora´s last blog ..I totally suck.. =-.

  265. I am so in love with this blog! I have been worried about the white dress I ordered for my vow renewal being too fancy or “bridal” for a renewal of vows. Ms Manners says you can’t wear a “wedding” dress for a renewal and it must be less formal and not white..After reading your blog I realized these are MY memories and MY pictures and I should concentrating on being happy and in love after 10 years and getting to say so all over again on a beach just like I have always dreamed of!! You are a wonderful writer and I can’t thank you enough!!! Jamaica is going to be perfect and screw Mr. Manners!

  267. I would love to host that beautiful dress next, although you are probably a size or three smaller than I. Seriously – a friend send me this link, and after a zillion hours of staring at the back of Anissa’s laptop, where this is a nifty The Bloggess sticker, I finally read this. I needed it. For I will wear my gown to pick up my kids from school – shamelessly!
    .-= Lori V.´s last blog ..Playtex Bra Makeover Contest =-.

  268. My twin sister and I just turned 50. We have both fought our way through the hell that is breast cancer. Our mother is now fighting that same fight. We NEED to wear that red dress and be photographed simply because we are still alive and we want everyone to know it.
    .-= Tami Wyatt´s last blog ..I’d like to make an announcement…. =-.

  269. I forget how I found your blog but I’ve been reading for months now and have developed a full on girl crush on you. And now this. I’m in lurve. I also need a red dress.

  272. You. Are. Freaking. Awesome. And is it wrong that this totally reminds me of that one episode of Firefly where Kaylee finds that adorable dress and Mal is all dream-crushing and she stops talking to him and then he has to go and get cows from that rich dude and he takes Kaylee to that ball and she gets to wear the pretty dress and they’re friends again? I love that episode. Also, this blog.
    .-= Daisy´s last blog ..Life Update, Sudden but Inevitable betrayals, and more rap! =-.

  273. You just made my year. Thanks for being such an amazing inspiration. You make me laugh, cry and giggle all in one post. You are the funniest person I know, and I don’t even really know you. Thank you for brightening my day and bringing it all into perspective!

  275. I’m really honestly and truly hoping that at least one other person thought of Kim Addonizio’s poem “What Do Women Want?” which is all about wanting a red dress and wearing it with no reservations. It’s one of my very favorites, and I love how the speaker gets an “I don’t give a shit if you think it’s slutty, this is what I want, and I will have it.” Anyway, here is the link, I hope you check it out.: http://www.poemhunter.com/poem/what-do-women-want/

  278. Love this! The sisterhood of the traveling red dress. You so deserved that red dress and you rocked your beauty and joy in it. This reminds me so much that I need to take the plunge on a lot of things that I’ve been dreaming about lately but feeling like I somehow don’t deserve or am not worthy of having come through. Thanks for the inspiration, Ms. Bloggess!
    .-= Solo @ 30´s last blog ..Two Thumbs Up and A Couple of Nerds =-.

  280. You definitely are worth it! An you look beautiful! I wish that dress would travel to NYC for the weekend as I am going to a wedding and would love to feel as fabulous as you look.

    Cheers to you!

  281. You are so beautiful and amazing! This made me cry. Maybe it’s the fact that I’m always the one to hold myself back. Thank you! The dress is gorgeous and you’re right, you do deserve it!
    .-= Tizzy´s last blog ..Waist Deep In Thought =-.

  285. Katie is totally right. The Kim Addonizio poem is perfect for this:

    “What Do Women Want?”
    I want a red dress.
    I want it flimsy and cheap,
    I want it too tight, I want to wear it
    until someone tears it off me.
    I want it sleeveless and backless,
    this dress, so no one has to guess
    what’s underneath. I want to walk down
    the street past Thrifty’s and the hardware store
    with all those keys glittering in the window,
    past Mr. and Mrs. Wong selling day-old
    donuts in their café, past the Guerra brothers
    slinging pigs from the truck and onto the dolly,
    hoisting the slick snouts over their shoulders.
    I want to walk like I’m the only
    woman on earth and I can have my pick.
    I want that red dress bad.
    I want it to confirm
    your worst fears about me,
    to show you how little I care about you
    or anything except what
    I want. When I find it, I’ll pull that garment
    from its hanger like I’m choosing a body
    to carry me into this world, through
    the birth-cries and the love-cries too,
    and I’ll wear it like bones, like skin,
    it’ll be the goddamned
    dress they bury me in.

  287. I was running late to work this morning but not quite ready to leave the house on account of my waking up on the “YOU’RE DOING LIFE WRONG” side of the bed. Despite having no time, I checked the bloggess in hopes of a morning laugh. Thank you Jenny. I needed this post a little extra today.
    .-= Liz´s last blog ..For Maddie Sue =-.

  289. Pingback: Citizen of the Month » Find Your Red Dress, Uh… Wait a Minute

  294. You really are remarkable and wonderful and better than ice cream on steak. Seriously. I should comment and say that more often. I always read, but rarely comment because I figure you have so many people telling you that…well, that me saying it too won’t matter.

    But for today…let’s pretend this comment is wearing a red dress. 😉

  297. wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow! you are so beautiful and that dress is spectacular on you! leave it to you to be the creative director of such a fanfuckingtastic project. can’t wait to see more from your travels with the red dress!!!!
    .-= pattypunker´s last blog ..10 important factoids about me =-.

  299. I wish I read this story 5 years ago!!!
    My husband and I did things a little backwards…..like getting pregnant, then moving in together, then having a baby and buying a house and THEN getting married (5 years ago this Sept)! We were pretty untraditional about the whole wedding and wedding planning as well. I took my huband-to-be dress shopping with me (mostly so he could hold our 3 mos old baby and change diapers!) and I found this GORGEOUS red dress at Macy’s. It was a floor length dress, kind of a jersey knit and the top part was cut like a Marilyn Monroe dress and it fit….it FIT as amazingly as I ever would pray for a dress to fit at 3 months post baby. I felt amazing in it!! But at the same time, I was scared about having a red dress as my “wedding dress”. I decided to put the dress away till the next day and retry it on. When my husband saw me tucking away the red dress he looked shocked, and thought it wasn’t appropriate and wondered out loud what his (catholic, traditional, italian) mother would think and say of me wearing red on my wedding day. Sleep deprivation and nerves and the thought of his mother dissaproving was enough to make me leave my dream dress behind. I regretted every minute of it. In the end, I found another dress from some crappy teen store in the mall, and it was white-ish and fit sortof and was on sale for 49.99 and I was tired of shopping and knew i’d never find another dream dress. And now every time I look back at wedding photos of me in my dress, i’m sad and regrettful and hate the way I look. Seriously, why the heck did I wimp out?? I tell everyone to go with their hearts as far as wedding dresses are concerned and maybe i’ll cross paths with my red dress again….and not let it get away!!!!!

  300. It amazes me that the people in this world who are truly and genuinely beautiful seem to be completely unable to recognize just how beautiful they are.

  302. Great advice. But be careful about breaking into random songs. True story: My best friend does this all the time and apparently she was in the bathroom at work singing about taking a poop … and then someone coughed a couple of stalls down and it was her boss. ? I’m takin’ a poop poop pooopy poop poop ?

  303. My god. You and Karen together are unstoppable. You are an old-school film legend, a fairy ballerina, and the royalty of a foreign nation in those shots. The dress is not in the least bit too vibrant for your personality, you compliment each other perfectly.

  304. Yes , yes! Everything you said. And not to be all, I do that already because it’s an excellent message which I do need reminding of but after suddenly losing my father several years ago I decided I would live my life trying to seize those moments , just because life is entirely too precious.

    P.S – I wish I was going to Blogher because red just happens to be my favorite color

  305. Jenny, you help keep the free spirit that dwells within me (and often surfaces) alive and well. Thank you.

  307. Pingback: 40 Before I’m 40.  | Blog con Queso

  308. Thank you. Thank you. THANK YOU. I’ve had one of the worst days (years?) in recent memory, and this is exactly what I needed to read. And so if this dress is making it to NYC I would love to take it for a spin. Because it rocks and we all deserve to look so beautiful, if only for a little.

  309. Man, I just want to give you the biggest hug. You and that dress are gorgeous and the project is brilliant. You brought a tear to my eye today and have inspired me to think about exactly what my red dress is and go after it. Thank you!

  311. Oh Bloggess, this is fantastic. I happily join the Red DressMovement!

    My red dress: a MASSIVE OCTOPUS RING. It’s 3″x2″ has pink rhinestones for eyeballs and 8 glorious rhinestone-covered tentacles. I tried so hard to justify the purchase to my starving-but-financially-responsible-twentysomething-in-NYC budget until I shut myself up and said, “I have never seen a more beautiful piece of jewelry. It’s impractical, garish, and will never be more loved by anyone than by me.” So I bought it.

    Every time I wear the ring I get judgmental looks from people who wear beige. I don’t care. You’re right; it’s so worth it. When I put the ring on, it’s like wrapping myself up in rhinestone-clad self love. Every glint of a ridiculous rhinestone says, “Hey self, you’re great!” As someone who has waged war against myself more often than not, this ring is no less than a revolution. The octo-ring is pure self love, just like your red dress.

    Plus, the octo-ring would make one hell of a mark should I choose to punch someone in the face while wearing it. They would be totally octo-fucked up!

    Rock on, Bloggess. Rock on.

  312. Oh, Jenny. You are beautiful, inside and out. I’m telling you now that I want to wear it at BlogHer. I will probably loose my confidence to do it once we get to NYC, so please remind me that it’s worth it, and if that doesn’t work please hold me down and force me into it. I know I can count on you.
    .-= Ally B´s last blog ..Sq-worm =-.

  313. I would say that this needs to be recreated in Greece, or somewhere else wear a fat ass blossom in your hair seems like it would fly no matter what. I’d also insist on going, but I cannot fly. Immediate, urgent physical need for Immodium and emotional need for delivery from soberness are required to even begin to manage the wait on the tarmac. I will be in NYC because I can train there. Maybe I can borrow the veil, that was hot.

  314. Hmmm… I have my son’s first birthday in the beginning of July and not a damn thing to wear.

    It’s ironic b/c I guess my son is my “red dress”. I always told myself that I wasn’t good enough or responsible enough to be someones mother and then when infertility hit, I told myself that I wasn’t meant to be someones mother b/c my body failed me. But I’ll be damned if I wouldn’t wear your red dress with pride knowing that I am the best damn mother my son could ask for.

    Thanks Jenny for making me realize that I have my red dress…..

  315. OMG – you are a goddess in that dress!! You look wonderful and you definately deserve it. You are right in so many ways when you say we all deserve our red dress – there are to many moments that women give up so that those around us can have what they want and deserve and we stand in the shadows to let them have their moment when what we really need it to find our own spotlight.

  317. Wow, dude. I started reading this post and I was feeling all happy for ya, cuz you got your sweet dress. Had that warm, fuzzy feeling and then BAM! You’re all, “… you’re worth it, too.” And my guts wrenched a little and tears stabbed at my eyes. I have 4 kids and a husband and you know, a life. It’s awesome, but hectic and busy and a little crazy (the youngest of the kids are 2 and 1). But I get so wrapped up in doing stuff for everyone else that I *forget* about me. Thanks for reminding me.

  318. Your red dress made me apply for a job that is impossible logistically speaking, but highly desirable. I wasn’t going to, but then your dress got very angry and threatened to smack me…it was self-defense, really. {P.S. Yo’ so pretty!}

  319. You look AMAZING!!! What joy…and the bare feet make the outfit.

  321. Yay for red dresses! About five years ago, I bought a pair of red leather, knee-high, high-heeled boots. There was absolutely no need for them, but I wanted them, dammit! And I wore the hell out of them. They’re pretty much dead now, but I can’t give them up just yet. I haven’t found a replacement for them. So I’m holding on to them until something new that I absolutely do not need but is red and fun finds its way into my life.

    Thank you for the inspirational blog… and thank you for sharing those beautiful pictures. I hope you have many, many happy days with your gorgeous red dress!

  324. This. is. so. good. Wish you were in LA – I want to wear that dress too!!!! excellent post.

  326. thank you. i am going to bookmark this for when i’m sad. you are freakin’ amazing. and gorgeous. all of the pictures are absolutely fantastic.

    oh, re comment #36 – you should also perform michelle’s ceremony. that would be kick ass.
    .-= holly´s last blog ..my way better ending to lost. =-.

  328. LOVE this. Absolutely knock-OUT! Love the sentiment, adore the pictures and the dress is, simply, sublime. It’s giddy, heady delicious stuff and I really, really thank you for posting it. Brilliant, Jenny!

  331. Thank you, Lovely Lady in that glorious, outrageous red dress!

    I know this joy, too. Mine is a burgundy drum kit. And I beat the hell out of it all the time. Unadulterated, unimaginable joy.

  333. First of all I’d like to start by saying that you are amazing. You inspire and touch people on a daily basis. Whether its a story like the one above that makes one tear up as they read or its an entry about GPS systems that makes you laugh your arse off you make the day better.
    As for the red dress. My “red dress” was culinary school. I have made a 101 excuses as to why its not a good idea and yet it was all I ever thought about. I realized that I was encouraging others to take risks and was about to enroll in dental hygiene school. Where was my risk? So I’m taking the leap and meeting with the instructors next week.
    Thank you for all that you do and please never stop writing.
    Sincerely,
    @katshead42

  334. “Young skinny unwrinkled women have not really earned the right to wear such dresses.” – happyhourmary

    I knew this post was too good to be true and that, if I read long enough, something would make me go back to feeling not quite so worth it.

    Jenny? Thank you for being such an inspiration. You truly are a vision both in and out of fabulous red dresses. If I lived in the states, and if the dress would fit me. I’d totally have loved to be apart of this project. Seeing as I don’t and it won’t, I think I’ll just enjoy the sight from the sidelines. At the very least, it’s a lovely view.
    .-= S.J. Collins´s last blog ..Ninjas and Pirates and Zombies, Oh My! – Interviewing Molly Burkhart =-.

  335. Damn! That dress fits you perfectly. It was meant for you.

    I think you should wear it to the grocery store (and get pics) before sending it around.

  337. You know what? This is brilliant. I went dress-shopping with my sister yesterday and I tried on a few REALLY pretty ones. I should have got one of them just because.

    Maybe I’ll go romp around in the wedding dress I keep swearing I’m going to sell.
    .-= Margaret´s last blog ..Your Mother Got Engaged on a Pirate Ship! =-.

  338. You make the world a better place…like cream soda and vanilla ice cream.

  339. I love this idea! As a belly dancer/yogini/photographer/artist who also has a day job, I’m very much a fan of finding & wearing your own red dress. Every Halloween, I go grocery shopping in my costume.

    If you come to the Toledo, Ohio area, I’d love to try on the dress & be photographed in it and photograph people in the dress. 🙂

    Beautiful idea!

    -Jen Bak
    http://www.jbakstudios.com

  340. Jenny, in fiction land where I’m a successful blogger, and have enough money to fly to the states and get to Blogher in August, I would don my totally awful gothic prom dress (which looks really kind of hideous, but it’s all I have) and I would high-five you like someone who accidentally fell out of an episode of ‘Saved by the Bell’.

    Hey, maybe I’ll wear my awful gothic prom dress to work tomorrow!

    No, maybe not, that will get me fired.
    .-= Jo and the Novelist´s last blog ..Oh my GOD! No, wait, wait, please listen, listen – don’t play the music yet… =-.

  341. Yay! I know it sounds horrible and shrew-ish, but right after I got divorced at 25 (a year ago) , I realized that life was meant to be lived. It was supposed to be fun. And it was supposed to be full of random awesomeness. I bought expensive shoes with no purpose (that I have worn WAY more than I thought I would). I made a bucket list even though I have no known disease and plan to live another 70 to 80 years. I’ve already checked almost 8 things off. I’ve gotten on stage at a concert and shaken my booty. Danced on the bar at Coyote Ugly. I’m taking boudoir (can’t spell that) shots in a week, just for me. It’s the silly little things like those shoes (or a beautiful red dress) that make you feel the most like you, and the true-est you is the only you you’ll ever be able to love. 🙂

  343. I want to take singing lessons. That is my secret dream that I don’t talk about with anyone. But now it’s on the internet so i guess it’s not a secret any more. It will never happen though. I’m a single mother in my forties, putting kids through college, etc and I feel like it’s too late. Although Susan Boyle is older than me and she achieved her dream. I also have a fear that I will open my mouth and the vocal coach will run for the hills.

  345. As my friends and I agree – the best part of being a “woman of a certain age?” We no longer care what others think of us – so we’re free to act silly, to do (and buy) what makes us smile. I dance down the street when listening to my iPOD on power walks…indulge my sense of whimsy…and after reading this post – I think the time has come. Yes Yes! – I’m going to go buy those red cowboy boots!

    I’ve long done my best to live by Oscar Wilde’s line – “Life is too important to be taken seriously.”

    You go girl.

    (I LOVE your blog and also Sexis. A male friend pointed me your way. I was laughing so much over one post ]I started snorting. Good thing I don’t care what people think of me, since I was in a public place. You’re a hell of a writer. 😉
    .-= Mary Schmidt´s last blog ..Wow, “Link” Makes All the Difference =-.

  346. I love this. Love it love it love it. I loved the whole set. You look amazing. And I love what your photographer friend said about you on her blog, that you exude beauty. I definitely need to go find my own red dress.

    And I hope Howard Hughes got a look at you!
    .-= Busted Kate´s last blog ..Happy ICLW! =-.

  347. Jenny – I’m a faithful reader, but never comment – mainly because I never have anything worthy to add – but I’m coming out of the closet, so to speak, to tell you that this post has touched me on so many levels. With tears in my eyes, I smiled to see the pure joy on your face.

    I will definitely be looking for my red dress. And when I find it and “wear” it – I will think of you with gratitude & love.

    PS – next time I come home to Houston – I am SOOOOO finding you! Just to give you a hug.
    .-= Gigi´s last blog ..Apparently there is some little jezabelle running around trying to steal my son’s heart. =-.

  349. Jenny, you look beautiful. Look how happy you are. You are worth it.

    I’m always jealous of awards shows and photo shoots because those few lucky people get to be made into the best version of themselves. And the rest of us have our weddings in our white dresses and that’s it. I’m not counting bridesmaid dresses because most times it’s the OPPOSITE of glamour.

    I’m gong to Blogher. I can’t wait to meet you, whether or not I get to wear the dress.

  350. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!! This is exactly what I needed to read today.

  351. And this is exactly why I follow your blog. Amazing. Oh I wish the dress would find it’s way to Ottawa, Canada!

  353. Very cool. I don’t quite know what my red dress is…though I did ponder flying lessons the other day. Maybe scuba lessons.

    You look gorgeous in the dress and I love the one from the whole set where you are laying down with the veil like thing over your face like woman at the beginning of Mystery! on PBS. Was that what you were going for because if so, that makes you even more awesome. I always used to pretend I was that woman as a kid. Yes, I was a bit strange and morbid as I child. 🙂 Still am.

  356. I love it! That’s the same reason I just splurged on a $200 Betsey Johnson bikini. I worked hard for this body and I look fierce in that bikini. And no I would never wear it to the river or the beach, but … who cares? I wanted it!!

  357. i am SOOOO gonna buy a red dress tonight! Except I want a red silk kimono, and if anyone asks me why I’m wearing a kimono I’ll say “BECAUSE IT’S PRETTY!!” and then I’ll dance a jig.
    .-= RedDressMama´s last blog ..The last few hours =-.

  360. I loved this post, Jenny. I will come back to read this and all its comments in a few weeks’ time when I’m not meant to be studying for my life.
    But after all that unnecessary stress, I have a month’s break which I plan on filling with magic. From going my friends’ musical gigs, to watching movies under a blanket fort (we’re in our twenties), to getting an interesting haircut, catching up with everybody I know, losing weight to go skydiving later, and making out a lot.
    For now, I will stick to wearing my new Ugly Shoes. They’re not ugly (they’re rather cool actually), but their unique colour combination of white, black, neon yellow, sky blue and barbie pink means they will never match anything I wear with them ever. Since they’re joggers (trainers/runners/walking shoes) I’ll wear them with my dresses.

    I love your dress.

  362. How many words to express how I love this post?
    One.
    Amazing.
    And I’m wondering if my red dress can be- not getting all embarrassed about being my ridiculous self? Just that. And maybe a white dress with emerald accents, my husband, and Niagara Falls for the wedding I REALLY wanted.

  365. You’re going to accuse me of denial, but I honestly can’t say I want to wear the red dress.

    I’m glad YOU liked it, though!

  366. Usually I read all of the comments and then get so enamored with your many witty followers replies that I wuss (sp?) out on leaving a comment. This time I scrolled all the way down (348 posts, i think?!) to tell you how fucking incredible I think you are.
    I love that dress.
    I love to see you smiling in that dress.
    I love the analogy for a happy life you created in a succinctly apropos 4 words – FIND YOUR RED DRESS.

    You rock, honey – because of (and in spite of!) the stabby, cat-wearing, fucking-Shatner, zombie, Canadia-money-hatin’, japanese-field-tripping antics that are your life.

    When I first found your post, I went as far back in the archives as I could to immerse myself in your words, thoughts and vocabulary. Thanks for the many laughs that have made this past year a lot funnier than it would have been with you not in it 🙂

    live the life you love, love the life you live…
    Clare

  368. Pingback: Of bacon, unicorns, and awesomeness. – AdrienneCrezo.com

  369. If SJP can wear the little dities she wears on SATC then you can wear this to the grocery store.

    Peace, Love and Chocolate
    Tiffany
    .-= Tiff´s last blog ..Feeling Stationery =-.

  370. I am a long time reader, but have never felt so compelled to comment before and tell you how amazing this post is. As a single mom, it isn’t easy for me to go splurge on something “just for mommy,” but I thought you should know YOU are my red dress. You are what I do with “my time.” You are the few minutes I sneak at work when I am reading your latest entry, or clicking the link on one of your tweets only to find the page is restricted access :). I have, on more than one occasion, woken up my sleeping 1 year old (who is one room over) because I am laughing so hard at one of your posts. You keep me laughing, even when things are so stressful I feel as though I can’t get out of bed in the morning. You inspired me to wear cleavage revealing clothes, and my grungiest jeans. You inspire independence, which reminds me how important it is for me to be a role model for my daughter. Thank you.

    I hope the dress makes it to Utah. There are some really strong women here who I know would do the dress justice.

  371. So Once again another one of your posts has brought tears to my eyes. (my guess is because I feel as though my entire life is passing me by and there’s still so much I want to do and have)

    Nevertheless you’re outrageously gorgeous! &&& I absolutely love that dress and I applaud you buying it for $600+ dollars.
    Everyone should treat themselves to something grand and amazing. We’re all worth it.
    .-= Rebekah Mae´s last blog ..When I pray to the Google god… =-.

  374. Dear Jenny,

    Mine was my dad’s realy really beautiful gigantic motorcycle. He gave it to me last summer…it’s crazy how much I love that bike. If I could drive through the grocery store while shopping…I would. Ohhhh…thats one for the bucket. 😉

    Yep…your fault Jenny. When I get FiveO’ed on my bike in the grocery store, how do you think they’re going to react when I say “Don’t mess with my Red Dress.” Yeah. Going out in style…in my Red Dress…

    Someone’s totally going to take this out of context…I know it.

    -T
    .-= Tony hunt´s last blog ..Now that Lost is over… =-.

  376. Insanely gorgeous and so insanely awesome! Knock it off. RIght. Now.

  379. you are inspiration in a red dress!!!

    just now, as chris de burghes “lady in red” is being belted out by me (after drinking almost a full bottle of wine by yours truly) I feel that this is neither rediculous or off key…

    the dress? – FANTASTIC!!!
    the idea? – TOTALLY AMAZING!!!! it’s pass the red dress —the only thing is that I just did that thing that was not sensible…I did my pinup photo shoot…you know where the pics are to see – http://www.insatiablehost.blogspot.com – it wasn’t anything that I needed to do, I have no use for these pictures…yet, I broke out of my pathetic me shell and did something for me.

    oh bloggess…you are so wise!!! I love the pictures soooo much though, you can really see your true beauty..not the superficial hotness that you are – but that…sparkle in your eye…it’s something really so rare …something that only that red dress could do and you FUCKING WORKED IT!!!!!
    .-= Insatiablehost´s last blog ..Talk to me Goose! "You’ve lost that love’n’feelin" =-.

  380. I love this so much (the dress and your idea) that I retweeted it blogged about it!
    Divine.
    This is my first visit, what a good day to pop over! 🙂
    .-= Thea´s last blog ..Frock Up! =-.

  383. Pingback: awesome links « Heather S. Ingemar (writes)

  385. Ohhhh how you reminded me of my youth just now. I had a read dress, I even was wearing it at a company Christmas party (head to toe read BTW)… and get this… the DJ played…. Lady in Red… I shit you not. Its was in a word…. A-W-E-S-O-M-E.

    thanks for the jaunt, I needed that kick in the arse – see you and the dress in August!
    .-= Lindsey (aka modchik)´s last blog ..Get Organized Giveaway {Winner} =-.

  386. Since I started reading your blog several months ago, I have just absolutely loved you. Much in the same way that I instantly loved Natalie Dee and the Allie girl from that hyperbole and a half blog. But this entry actually caused me to *fall* in love with you and this entire idea of loving yourself and living for the moment and…I’ll be damned if those aren’t tears rolling down my face now. Thank you for this, from the bottom of my heart.

  388. I completely, completely agree. On a bad, bad day, when every thing that could go wrong could possibly go wrong, I take the kids out for a day of doing nothing but fun things that I would usually deny because it’s too expensive, or we just don’t have the time, or I just can’t drive that far with screaming babies. Whether it’s the zoo, our favorite restaurant, ecc. Or ona really bad day, when I am just simply exhausted and I know I should get to bed before I get woken up at 6:30 in the morning, I stay up for hours watching bad tv, drinking wine or hot chocolate or lemon water, whatever, and eating junk food. Because those are the moments that we need to have to spoil ourselves and our kids and even our hubbies because that’s what life should be.
    .-= Mamma M´s last blog ..Has Technology Revolutionized Writing Thank You Cards? I kinda hope so… =-.

  389. Jenny-
    Thanks to you tomorrow I will go shopping down the street at Fresh&Easy in my once worn little black dress and purple heels, that i never got to wear with the dress because i sprained my ankle the week i had to wear it, and confuse the fuck out of a lot of Bakersfield people. With my best friend by my side of course.
    Thank you for giving me a reason to FINALLY wear my purple heels. =)

  390. Story: I’m obsessed with red dresses. I bought a strapless one for my sorority formal this past April, got it on sale at at BCBG outlet in NC- my size, visible zipper up the back, mermaidy ruffle on the left side going down- gorgeoussss. So I’m dancing with my date all night long, and when I dance, I DANCE. We head back to his frat house afterwards and I notice, though slightly intoxicated but not enough to have a strobe light plant itself in my line of vision, that my booty, clad in beautiful red dress, had been shaking so hard that it rubbed RED all over my date’s white shirt- his shirt was STAINED across his entire lower stomach (he’s taller than me)- it took 3 dry cleaner trips for him to get it out (did I mention this was a blind date?)…and it was worth every second– DRESS and DANCE ON
    .-= Kristen´s last blog ..Truth or Dairy =-.

  391. Pingback: Break into Song. | Paramomal
  393. Pingback: Can You Identify Your Passion? What Is Your “Red Dress? | Hip As I Wanna Be
  394. Pingback: Day Fourteen: Authenticity « The Living Dreamboard

  395. Jenny,
    Thank You. You look absolutely amazing in that dress. And the shoes? You’re just like Cinderella after the ball.

    So yesterday, I kissed my upstairs neighbor. It was spur of the moment and I told him it was “Kiss People in Hats For Breast Cancer Awareness Day ” and then he asked me if I had a hat. The rest of this story is not suitable for children (It involves violins swelling)

    P.S. Saying something is for “Breast Cancer Awareness” is basically carte blanche to do whatever you want. It excuses any ridiculous behavior, like kissing you upstairs neighbor who you’ve spoken about 7 words to.

    P.P.S. I’m actually very sensitive about breast cancer. But I think that we can all agree that enough “awareness” has been raised already. Find me one person who doesn’t think it’s a major issue. Let’s start donating to organizations who are trying to find a cure

  396. Pingback: The Art of Darkness » Blog Archive » Red Poppy Dress

  397. You are SPECTACULAR!
    and
    AWESOME!
    and
    AMAZING!
    You make me laugh out loud every day, but today you made me really stop and think *sniff*:)

  399. My problem is that I have way too many red dresses. Every time I go to therapy I tell her about yet another thing I’ve always wanted to do. I’m waiting for her to scream at me, “just do something with your life already!”

    But when I boil it all down all my dreams have one thing in common: writing. So that’s what I’ve been focusing on. I joined the Blogher community almost two years ago and I have no idea how to use it. Hell, I don’t even know how to link to my blog in this comment. But my red dress will now be to learn and join and DO the writing and next year I want to be meeting you and so many other smart, funny women at wherever it is they hold the convention next year.

    Thanks Jenny.

  401. You look beautiful! I started to hula-hoop for the first time in my life. And now….I will even hula-hoop in the front yard with my kids! I paid $60 for a grown-up hoop – frivolous, but totally worth it!

  402. I can only hope like the “Travelling Pants”, the “Travelling Red Dress” is magic enough to make it fit my size 18 self by mere magic.

    Honestly, being able to see it.. to touch it and be near it will be enough to prove I will be living my own Red Dress moment. I’m going to Blogher! I’m going to fly (!!!) to New York in 70 days and I’m completely and utterly terrified. But I’m doing it anyway dammit! This is a nerve-racking trip for most people, but for me? It’s so much more than that. For me, this trip will be a catalyst to take my life back from the ruthless clutches of agoraphobia. Sort of extreme exposure therapy. Today I can’t drive to the next town on my own, I can’t be alone at home, I can’t even take my daughter to the beach. I’m so much better than the housebound puddle I was 10 years ago, but I’m stuck. I’m so tired of CAN’T. In 70 days though (god help me), I CAN and I WILL.

    That red dress? Home plate. The finish line. And also new beginning.

    Thank you.

  403. So, I was having a horrible day yesterday. I bawled while I painted my little girl’s room a pretty sky blue, and I skipped on dinner because I forgot about food since I was so wrapped up in my self-pity and stress, and then I cried myself to sleep. This morning, I was on here, and decided you always make me laugh.. Then I read the Red Dress post. I was truly inspired. When I was young, I went from being a single college girl to a pregnant college drop-out, and then suddenly I was moving in with my boyfriend who has two kids, and six years after high school, I’m working a bank job that I hate because it gives me insurance, and I make just enough to pay bills and buy a few groceries- and I wondered ‘Where the hell did I go wrong? What happened to the person I knew in my heart that I could be? What happened to the vibrant, pretty, adoring, vivacious girl that I thought I would end up as?” I read your post, and realized that SO many women make these sacrifices for their children, husbands, and other family.. The post made me really stop and reconsider why I couldn’t still be that person? I know for a fact that my little toddler would love to have a mommy like that. I sure know I wish I’d had a mother like that.. So I thought, ‘What would my Red Dress be?’ And do you know what I came up with? Roller Derby. No joke. I’ve never been a prissy girl, but I’ve never been quite that daring, either. I saw a tournament of it when I was in high school, but never had the daring to go buy skates and practice anywhere. I can’t skate to save my life, I have no balance.. but I want to learn. I’m going to try it. I’ll skate around my apartment complex until I fall down a few times. And I’m going to do just one roller derby tournament, because damnit.. I could have been awesome, if I’d just not wasted all the time second-guessing myself. So, thank you.. and if I end up with a kick-ass poster like in the movie that Drew Barrymore directed, you’re so getting one. You can throw it away if you want, but it will be my thank-you card.. For inspiring me, and reminding me that I’m not quite in the ground yet.

  404. Brava! You are amazing, stunning, and Beautiful. I have no idea who you are, I found you randomly as a link of a friends page, but what a way to start my day! Yes! I AM worth all the Red Dresses in the world, and yours milady is fantabulous!!! And what’s this a “woman of your age” shite?? Really??? Did you look at the pictures sweetheart? YOU are breathtaking. No caveats, no age qualifiers. Just you, just then, just perfect! Thank you… thank you for reminding me on this day Who I Am. I was feeling sorry for myself because of all the pain I’m in today…and you reminded me; that’s merely details. It can wait till tomorrow. Today can’t!!!!

    Brightest Blessings to you Sister,
    my heartfelt “Huzzah”!!! to you!!!

    Mendocino.

  405. Pingback: Considering Red Dresses « Old Blue Socks

  406. What a great post! One should never give up…never ever give up on your “RED DRESS” dream. Fight every day, every moment to obtain the “RED DRESS”.
    I have 3 quotes on my desk where I can read them every day.
    1) Do you believe anything is possible?
    2) It is better to die on your feet then live on your knees.
    3) The more positive you are when you think and work toward your goals, the faster you achieve them.
    And in the bathroom as a backup-
    4) DON’T MAKE ME GET THE FLYING MONKEYS-The Wicked Witch

    Thanks for the smile! Have a great day!
    .-= LookieLou´s last blog ..Cat Pawrent’s Tenacity Led to Happy Reunion =-.

  408. Jenny, I never knew that you could actually photograph Pure Joy. It’s there. It’s YOU. All YOU, all JOY (no wig!)

  409. Pingback: Red dress, Momz Share, Signs

  411. My turn, my turn! I colored my hair orange this weekend! It is totally inappropriate for my job/career/office, and for my age!! I don’t care!! I love it and it has been so long since I liked the way I looked. Totally worth it.

  413. You.
    Take.
    My.
    Breath.
    AWAY.

    I honestly gasped out loud at the first photo. Do you know how beautiful you are? DO YOU??? Everything about this, from the reason you’re wearing that dress, to the photos, to the graveyard setting, the green and the cool cement and the red and your skin and your SMILE, jesus gods, Jenny. BEE YOO TEE FULL.

    You know which are my very favorite photos from the set? The one where you are looking right at the camera, near the middle of the grouping, yes, the one where we also get a glimpse of your fantastic cleavage. And also the bottom two on the right, where you are looking right at the camera, first serious, then busting out a smile.

    I want to be you. I want to be beautiful.
    .-= Elizabeth @ Table for Five´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday – More Lining Things Up =-.

  414. So ironic. For years I pretended my life was just perfect. I described it as “wearing my red dress.” I looked all confident on the outside, but never felt like it on the inside. For the longest time I just wanted to fit in–or at least feel like I did.

    But you? With your red dress? I love this new definition. Think we need to have a red dress party. All show up in our own “red dress.” Could you imagine how amazing it would be? Each doing what we dreamed??

    You’re so beautiful in yours because I can see your soul.

  415. I know a few ladies in Vermont who would look GREAT in that dress. Bring it!! vermontvermontvermontvermont. You come to vermont and play with us.

  416. yesterday when i ran to the top of the hill, i saw that the waves were good. i went home and told my husband he should go surfing even though my 5, 3.5 and six month old were whiny sick mofo’s and i had been home with them all day and it wasn’t even bedtime. i NEVER tell him to do that, even when the kids aren’t sick. that’s kind of like a red dress right?
    .-= Holly´s last blog ..six month biscuits =-.

  418. i’m absolutely positive there isn’t a red dress alive able to fit my gerth. actually, i don’t think there is a dress period able to fit me. i think about all the poor silk worms and their impending death to fit my behemouth ass and well, i feel like dresses are better left for someone who would look adorable in them. This means you.

  421. I read this post yesterday and I just can’t seem to get it out of my head. I’m one of those people who put things off, do things for others, and after reading this I realized I NEED to be a little more selfish for myself. To get out there and really live for myself, for my family, and for my friends.
    I sent this to my core group of friends, the ones who I grew up with and have knows all my life—we are planning our own “red dress” party at the end of July. You are personally invited to Arkansas to attend. It’ll be one hell of a good time 🙂

  423. This weekend I cleaned out my closet and decided to part with a gorgeous shirt that I love. It’s spaghetti strapped, emerald green and in your face with a big bow on the hip. It goes with nothing and I have no where to wear it. It can’t be worn with a bra and, after two kids, I can’t be seen without one. It’s Carmen Miranda and I’m LL Bean. It was time for it to gone on to a happier home.

    And now I’m hoping like hell my husband didn’t make it to the donation center today as planned.

  425. The look of pure joy and beauty and radiance on your face in the close up is absolutely breathtaking. Oh, that we should all feel that way, even once in our lives.

    You are an inspiration to us all to STOP WAITING for our dress and to go out and get it/take it/find it/create it for ourselves.

    Thank you.

  427. That dress us fabulous! I think you should wear it everywhere. Who said we are supposed to wait for an occasion to make ourselves feel good? Life can be really short so go for it!
    .-= Bodaciousboomer´s last blog ..No, I am not a skank =-.

  428. Karen’s comments gave me goosebumps. Not that your post wasn’t lovely, too. It was! Karen was just magic. You’re magic, too! Crap this is not going well. Oh hell. You can give me goosebumps if it’ll make you feel better. *winces in anticipation*
    .-= Elly Lou´s last blog ..Cruzin USA =-.

  430. Jenny!

    I’m a dude, and this made me want to go get into a red dress.

    -OSG

  432. Wait, I need to say a bit more. For a Blog that is the funniest blog on Earth, you guys are all the nicest people on Earth. Not always the most obvious combination. Keep supporting each other, you may be the best tribe that ever existed.

  433. @melistress (#121)
    1 thing, the dress wasn’t pleated it was A-line

    and thanks for totally making me cry. at work. again.

    i paid 2 or 3 dollars (Canadian) for that dress and yes, i wore the hell out of it. i got so many compliments *everytime* i wore it. and once someone mistook for a Donna Karen!! Donna freaking Karen!! My 2-3 dollar dress.

    if i hadn’t listened to you…

    the dress is gone now. the zipper died and my boobs got way too big for it. that was one of my saddest days, saying good-bye to that dress. and the way i felt when i wore it.

    **smile**

  434. Yeah, that dress is smashing and so are you. Oh, and I would have never guessed you were in a graveyard.

  436. Every time I think my life sucks and I can’t do something or shouldn’t do something… I’m coming back to this post. And when I finally get my red dress I will wear the hell out of it and think of you while I do it!
    .-= SparkGirl´s last blog ..The dress =-.

  437. This dress isn’t supposed to have shoes. It is supposed to have you. And aren’t you just a little bit perfect in it?

  438. I have a red dress. Rather a few of them, actually. And hair to match. And when I fancy a change, I have a scarlet wig, which I wear to occasions that aren’t fancy dress.
    Fellow red lady, I salute you!

  439. “And the more I thought about it the more I realized how often we deny ourselves that red dress and all the other capricious, ridiculous, overindulgent and silly things that we desperately want but never let ourselves have because they are simply ‘not sensible’.”

    This from the owner of James Garfield?

  442. I’m pretty up at the moment because I just finished my exams, but I am saving this post in a folder marked “Emergency Blues Killer” for the next time I need a lift. Also when I find my “red dress” I’m getting it.

  443. Oh, sweetie, you just made me cry tears of sweet, sweet happiness. For you, for your wonderful red dress, and for the inspiration you manage to give me just when I need it.

    I have some ballet shoes you can have too if you want (as long as your feet are a 7AA), and I’ll break spontaneously into song with you any time you wish, although it may not be so spontaneous if we have to somehow achieve spontaneity between British Columbia and Texas…

    Much love. ?
    .-= Robynn´s last blog ..Ow =-.

  444. What a wonderful, wonderful project, Jenny. And a wonderful message to give to people.

    And HELL YES I want to wear that dress at least once – because I’m trying to squeeze as many princess moments into my life as I possibly can before I die.
    .-= Miss Britt´s last blog ..On losing control =-.

  445. So…I’ve had my incredibly expensive red evening dress for years. I got it for no reason. That dress has been my way of overdressing on an evening out, it has washed the dishes with me, it has even been to the mall accompanied by pointed ears and fairy wings when I was WAY too old (highly recommend getting fairy wings), my dress has spent the day at the local airport watching planes take off and land, my dress LOVES it when we go barefoot outdoors for no reason. Recently I saw the most perfectly lush, shiny, beautiful,elegant, breathtaking ORANGE sundress…

    I guess the heart wants what the heart wants.

  446. beautiful dress. beautiful pictures. and YES you are totally worth it. a hundred times over.

    and…um…maybe…or….not….
    do you NOT have a wig on? holy cow. i have to say…i love it.

    YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL.

    and if anyone tells you differently send em my way girl!!

    and i will totally be at BlogHer’10. and i have to find you. just have to. (ok that sounded kinda stalkerish) but you know.
    .-= LocoYaya´s last blog ..The Blah’s =-.

  447. Thanks Jenny…I needed this post today. You look gorgeous in that dress and should wear it every single day. Until it starts to to stink. Then get it washed and wear it again. You rock.

  450. Great. I couldn’t fill that dress in such spectacular fashion in a million years. Yes, Jenny, my dress is half empty. Way to discriminate against the little-breasted people.

    😉 I’m kidding. The dress is spectacular, but even so, it doesn’t shine nearly so bright as the soul wearing it. XO.
    .-= anymommy´s last blog ..Do as I say, not as I do =-.

  451. The most beautiful pictures I think I’ve ever seen. I’m sitting here with tears, and I don’t cry at *anything*. Not sure why. The longing maybe. Not sure for what.

    Yikes…

    So yeah. Beautiful pictures. Empowering and Inspirational message.

  454. I have lurked for a while and Im genuinely smitten with you Jenny. You always manage to make me smile. I just wanted to say that you look beautiful and so happy. The dress is stunning and your vibrancy brought it to life.

    I treated myself to a red dress too. Downloaded ‘Burn’ by Nine Inch Nails onto Rockband2 and sang it loud, over and over and over again.

    “Something inside of me has opened up its eyes”.

    Thank you Jenny.

  455. You are a truly amazing woman, Jenny, and you radiate beauty inside and out. I’ve never been to BlogHer, but I hope somehow, someday, I can share booze and Ambien in a bathroom with you, while wearing profoundly fabulous dresses.
    .-= Heather´s last blog ..Controversial Topics =-.

  458. I think your little toes were more beautiful than any pair of shoes. Spectacular. Awe-inspiring. Uplifting. It really doesn’t get any better than those things in life that bring such joy. Jenny, you spread the joy. Generously, Great Big Momma Hugs!

  459. You are so insanely beautiful I just can’t even handle it. Not only does that dress look HOT AS FUCK on you, but you just motivated me to go kick some ass.

    Thanks for being a hot ass kicker. I loves me some Bloggess.
    .-= Marian Schembari´s last blog ..Finding “My London” =-.

  460. You knew my favorite color was red and so you made it in my honor?!?!?! Alright FINE you didn’t but…damn that is one gorgeous dress and you look fantabulously amazing it in! (Yes that is a word damnit…well now it is)
    I love the idea of this. I love the fact you are taking it to BlogHer, of which I cannot attend because the fucking ocean is in my way and I can’t afford plane tickets. Nor can my 6 week old baby be without me for that long.
    I’m also loving the comment of the day. Karen, you amazing woman you! I want a photo of you with Jenny at BlogHer next to that red dress!!!!!!! xxx
    .-= Mesina´s last blog ..Ask Me: Birthday Giveaway! =-.

  464. That dress is fabulous and gorgeous and you look beautiful! Yay for you!

  465. Gorgeous. Great inspiration. Everyone should get their red dress. Do it!

    PS. Looks much better without the curlers. lol

  466. You just made me cry tears of self-realization, and I love you for that.

  467. My friend posted this comment on the link to this post I posted on my wall thought you would want to see it :
    “Mia was sitting on my lap while I read the article and as soon as she saw the pictures she said “She’s a beautiful Princess”. Don’t we all want those moments ;-)”

  469. You and the dress look AMAZING!!!

    I did two things for myself. Bought a pot of pretty red tulips, because I like them. And I bought tickets to the Stanley Cup Finals because I LOVE hockey and life is too short to not go ahead and do something I love.

    Thanks!!!

  471. It’s so wierd, I was reading through couture consignment shops the other day and found one that specializes in name brand ball gowns for cheap. I have never owned a ball gown and I always wanted one that was puffy and sparkly. After reading your post I am now convinced I should have one. I will probably never have a place that requires wearing it but I want one and it would make me feel special. Maybe I’ll wear it to the grocery store….

    Great post and even better pics.
    .-= Sabreena´s last blog ..Teachers Make Easy Targets =-.

  472. Pingback: According to Astrazenica I am indeed Bipolar. | Sometimes I Even Amaze Myself

  473. I read this and thought of two things:

    one, that for many, writing a book is their red dress….
    and two, that a friend of mine once saw a similar dress and decided she also had nowhere to where it and that she would have the dress AND learn to dance and go to a ball so that she did have somewhere to where it! Now that is a double goal!

    for all of you out there with a dream, go for it, be inspired by this and if writing a book is your own ‘red dress’ you can get some inspiration at my blog http://www.joparfitt.com

  474. My red dress is pole dancing classes. I’m 37, overweight and have no business even attempting something so ridiculous and stupidly expensive. But I worked hard for years while denying myself nice stuff to pay off my student loans. And on December 31st, 2009, I finally did. So, I deserved something ridiculous. I’ve been pole dancing for 2 months now and can only do a handful of basic moves, but I installed a pole in my apartment and am having a BLAST. Plus, I’m getting my sexy back, which makes it all worth it.

    Good for you and your red dress!

  475. There are many reasons I adore you, but you’ve lit a fire under my patootie to take your advice and just fucking do it! (And you know that PunditMom NEVER swears!) 😉

    You look amazing and gorgeous, but then again you always do. xo

  476. OK, so now I’ve come back to read this post 3 days in a row. Because it just makes me smile. You should know that. I want a red dress. I want to wear something hopelessly impractical and dance in the rain like nobodys looking. Polka actually. Barefoot. And sing too…. Thank you for reminding me that I *can* and that I’m not the only one.

  478. You are beyond amazing.
    I recently bought myself a prom dress, even though I’m 28. It’s short and bright pink and orange and strapless and totally not suitable for a mother of 2. I don’t know if I’ll ever wear it, but honestly, just having it in my closet makes me so very happy.
    .-= Erin´s last blog ..Hey Moon, Please Forget To Fall Down =-.

  480. hmm. poorly worded finish. you’re always beautiful, and you make me laugh, which is far more important. seriously, coming home to find a post from you is frequently the high point of my day.
    .-= Ericka´s last blog ..The Music Of Nature =-.

  481. This is the first post I’ve read on this blog, and it was pretty touching and a treat to read. Thank you for brightening my day.

    Also, this was just a fluke, but earlier today I walked to a playground and found a swing and swung for half an hour. I hadn’t been on those swings in 8 years. And then I find a post on this blog that mentions remembering how it felt to fly on the swings again, which is so weird because I was just talking about that on Sunday. XD I guess weird coincidences in themes just happen like that, and it is awesome.

  482. OMG, I have just found your blog and now I can see the three day weekend spent sitting reading all the archives…but does it get any better than the “red dress?” I totally get it!

  485. Jenny:

    I read this when you first posted it. But today I had a shit ass day at work. So I decided, if it’s ok with you, that I want to print this out and hang it where I can see it always – to always remember that life and passion are what it’s about – and to remember that every day I can have a red dress moment, a red dress minute, a red dress hour no matter where I am or what I am doing.

    This post breathes new life into me and inspires me.

    Thank you

  486. This all brings me back to as a little girl when all that mattered is that my dress swirled. Meaning it would float as I twirled and of course it had to be red for me. Pink sucked! I was the only girl with red patent leather shoes and wore them daily even with jeans. Thanks for the escape you ROCK!

  487. Jenny, you are bootylicious. Don’t worry, I’m not gay.
    Oh shit, just remembered I am.

  491. Awesome! I’m not sure I know what my red dress will be, but today I retire from 33 years as a lab rat (sometime scientist, sometime manager, sometime whatever I’ve been asked to be) and embark on a new quest. You and your friend Karen’s shoot of your red dress are an inspiration. Next week in my new life I photograph a dance performance and it’s been an intimidating thought. Now I see the possibilities. Thank you.
    .-= misterken´s last blog ..510Arts and the Ghost Roses Exhibit =-.

  492. Pingback: Finding my red dress «

  493. I have to say that you crack me up and i look forward to reading your blog each day….but this. this entry is the BEST ONE EVER!!! thank you!!
    .-= kim replogle´s last blog ..testing =-.

  494. Perfect blog post that could have made me cry if I had allowed myself!
    I feel in such a rut lately, and today – before I read your blog – I had been using the day to think about what it is I want exactly, because time seems to be ticking me by. I was feeling so uninspired before I crawled into bed and grabbed my laptop. As soon as I read your blog post I realised that I have many “red dresses” that I never think of buying/doing because as you said, it’s not sensible, and I literally just said out loud to myself “Fuck you sensible. Really hard.”.
    And I’m sticking with that philosophy.
    You look stunning by the way!
    x

  495. I’ve had this post open for what, 3 days now? There’s just no way I’m going to be able to read all these comments. Don’t know how you manage that, Jenny. Here’s what I thought up after reading the first 100 or so…

    I love you and I love happhourmary (#41).

    I hope that young girl from Mississippi (is that right? the whole fake prom thang.) is reading and takes this to heart. God, it makes my heart soar to think that she could absorb this lesson at her young age. Makes up for my still needing to learn it at 44.

    My red dress is that my son attend the neighborhood Kindergarten in the fall, not be bused off to some far-away special ed preschool. It’s just Kindergarten, dammit. Down syndrome isn’t catching. Let him color with the other kids! I want this with all of my heart, for him to just be accepted by the people around us like it’s no big deal. I won’t be able to die peacefully if the world won’t accept him when I’m not here to protect him. And I don’t want that burden put on his sister.

  496. That dress is completely appropriate for a woman your age look at the third photo for proof! You’re happy, smiling, loving life and feeling gorgeous! What’s inappropriate about that?

    I’d love to skip outdoors barefoot in a swirly twirly red dress. The closest I came to that is when I rented a jackhammer to make my front garden. It was uplifting and empowering but not very pretty.
    .-= Condo Blues´s last blog ..Ditch the Disposables: Try Reusable Produce Bags =-.

  498. good morning!
    omg i LOVE LOVE LOVE this! you look gorgous in the photo’s! but i LOVE what the dress stands for, LOVE the vivid red color and the passion behind it! i WANT that dress! LOL take everyday and grab the bull by the horns and don’t let anyone stop you! do the things that someday you will not have regrets about “not” doing and do it today because everyday we live is a day we “trade in.” stop by my world sometime and say “hi” to the mom of the sweetest special needs daughter and see why “i’m still standing,” and please bring along the fab dress!
    smiles and admiration,
    shelley 🙂

  499. I LIVE in dresses like this . . .

    When I’m not wearing my cowgirl, pirate, butterfly, space flight stewardess, French exchange student or Harajuku Grace costumes, that is.

    See you at the grocery store or where ever!!

    xo
    Grace

  500. I have a red dress, too. It was my wedding dress. Ironically, you posted this on my second anniversary.

    I never thought I’d be a bride, and when it came time for me to be one, there was only one way I could do it. My way. I don’t do “pretty, pretty princess,” and having people stare at me, well, that just won’t do.

    I’ve never felt like I deserve positive attention. I never thought someone would love me enough to marry me.

    Well, I deserve more than I’ve ever given myself credit for, and my husband loves me more than anyone.

    Oh, and I looked fabulous in that red dress … http://lh5.ggpht.com/_qQuXFraAcE4/SIZJiFiyAOI/AAAAAAAAAfE/nmmcjgs2wGE/s576/Rachel%20%26%20Joe4.jpg
    .-= @rdweatherly´s last blog ..My "Red" Dress =-.

  501. a couple of years ago I blew more money than all my other dresses were worth put together on a gorgeous red strapless gown that I didn’t even end up wearing. I always lamented that purchase as a waste of money, but now.. perhaps I need to realize it was a necessary indulgence. I never know how to treat myself otherwise so I end up “treating” myself with food and then making myself sick. but, your post inspires me, makes me feel alive again.. thank you, thank you, thank you. yes, yes yes…
    .-= sui´s last blog ..3 poems to brighten your life =-.

  502. I NEED that dress. I’m a 14, and I won’t be at BlogHer this year because of the cost, and because I got a new job, which seems contradictory. First it was the cost. Then it ceased to be the cost because I got a great job, but then it became the Job That’s Keeping Me From Trying On That DRESS! I still like my job, but that dress is making me yearn.
    .-= middle-aged-woman´s last blog ..Need Your Votes! =-.

  503. Found your blog today. What’s up with all the wackiness around here? The forced joie-de-vivre and snarkiness seems a little, you know, miserable after a few past posts. Couldn’t get any further than that. Sorry.

  506. I will be at BlogHer in August and I want a photo in that red dress! You look gorgeous.

    But personally, I always wear a red ballgown to graveyards. I thought it was standard attire. Especially for the men.
    .-= 2MuchPerfection´s last blog ..Newest Project! =-.

  507. I browsed the flickr sets and the chookooloonks gallery and what struck me the most was the sense of fetters /gone/, of pure play.

    My God, that’s a rare and priceless thing. Thank you for a glimpse of it, and for the shove out the door to find my own red dress to wear.

  508. You’re Beautiful!

    (I know so many people have already said that, and I hate to be redundant, but I’ve learned that you can never hear that you’re gorgeous, lovely, pretty, and wonderful too much. I’d like to thank my best friend for that gem.)

    I think the idea of a Red Dress is wonderful. You’re wonderful for reminding people to do things to feel good about themselves.

  509. WoW! You look like Drew Barrymore in one of the pics, hope you experience that as a compliment as i think she is beautiful, as are you and your Amazing ideas!

  511. I love this inspiration. Especially, when it comes in the form another woman enjoying her life a bit. I want to thank you and my own BFF Sunny (No retaliation) for getting me to dust off my “ed dress” and have some fun with this life of mine.
    I hope I do you both justice and not be inspired but do something too.

  512. What an amazing dress and a beautiful story! I usually go for the “red dresses” in my life whenever they appear and have thus been labelled “quirky” (at least to my face… behind my back I’m sure it’s not nearly as kind), but I embrace the quirkiness and continue to try and live life to the fullest and I’m so glad you are encouraging others to do the same. Bravo!

    Oh… and I have a beautiful tiara with deep red gems in it that would look gorgeous with dress if you ever want to borrow it! I wear it when I’m writing (usually with pajamas), just because it makes me feel good!!! 🙂

  514. Beautiful, beautiful post…what a great reminder that even though we may not always feel it…we are ALL worthy. You are a beautiful person…oh…and I MIGHT have a tiny girl crush on you….!

  516. Pingback: The Red Dress « Michelle Zink

  517. Were you going for the Grey Gardens look? Because I think you totally nailed it and I love it. You normally make me laugh out loud but this time, you just made me smile. And reaffirm that I do love your blog. I’m going to be traveling around the country for about a year, if all goes well. I can take the dress from one leg to the next, if you want.

  518. Jenny,

    damn.
    just. damn.

    I got tears and chills and I felt the urge to just yell, YES! HEll freakin’ YAH!

    Thank you for the inspiration. I will, someday, have a red dress and I’ll have someone who will photograph me wearing it completely without abandon and I will send a silent thank you to you for the inspiration.
    I will truly miss being at blogher with you this year. I’ll miss silly elevator rides and holding hands and walking into cheezeburgher with you. I’ll miss all of that, but most of all.. I’ll miss your hug and the effervescence that is you.
    Hugs and kisses from much to far away.

  519. Wow…!!! What a fabulous idea, you look amazing and I absolutely love, love, LOVE that dress! I want to go do the same thing…wear something you love, just because and have photos to remember it. Bravo!!

  520. Pingback: Good Mom / Bad Mom
  521. Pingback: I’m sat here listening to Jem and Enya sing, peeling off stickers from my new pens and yet all I can think of is going on holiday and red dresses.
  522. Pingback: And the Award Goes To…

  524. The dress is divine and you look stunning in it!!!
    I will be at BlogHer, though I have no idea why – I am scared shitless of meeting new people, and crowds…aaaak. But, I think, just maybe – that red dress might make it fun. Can I really try it on? Ooooooo!
    .-= Kate´s last blog ..blech =-.

  526. I started to type this lovely comment and then…BOOM, I got bumped…hmm.

    So what I was gonna say is, this post and your lovely pics remind me of Leo Buscaglia’s story about the woman who died and her red dress. If you have’t read it you totally should, he is a better storyteller than me…because he gets to the point. But in any case. Love the dress. Wish I was going to Blogher, but there’s always next year.
    .-= Janis @ Sneak Peek At Me´s last blog ..The Power of Love And Loss =-.

  528. This is just so wicked bitchen that I can’t come up with the right words of awesomeness. So here I am, [finally getting around to ] reading this, your entry in my bloated RSS list, and your words, and then your pictures, made me get all fluttery in my midsection. But wait, there’s more! Spit swear, the next article below yours in my list was this one. http://www.ianyanmag.com/?p=2617
    Really.
    .-= mossum´s last blog ..ADD + OCD = MOM =-.

  529. Pingback: Heeeeeere’s TOMMY «

  531. Blogger doesn’t do trackbacks, so I just wanted to tell you I linked you up to my latest post, “When Not to Be Thrifty.” <3, Jenny 2.0
    .-= Jenny´s last blog ..Sewing Box =-.

  532. Pingback: Sprinkles Around the Web 5/28-6/10/10 | Sliver of Ice Design
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  537. I know this is delayed, but whatever. I decided to re-visit this post because today I was just struck with how often I don’t do things that I want to do. Or when I do them, it’s briefly, and I am very self-conscious about it, wondering what people think.

    My red dress is so many things. A job I want. A new academic field I am terrified to go into, for fear I actually know nothing about it. Just plain being myself around other people. But my red dress is also, hilariously, a purple dress. I bought it for a wedding last week, but I chickened out since it was slightly too short for a wedding (and I have TONS of leg already!) and also slightly casual. I LOVED this dress, but I knew there would be people there who I wanted to impress, and could not risk anything that would make them think less of me, somehow.

    Anyway. I always dress kind of casual – for fear of drawing negative attention to myself, I don’t draw any attention at all! I hardly wear skirts even, but I’ve decided that tomorrow I’m going to wear my gorgeous purple dress to meet my boyfriend for brunch, by the bayfront. It’s by no means a ballgown, but it makes me feel beautiful. I’m betting my boyfriend will be confused as to why I’m ‘dressed up’ (although it’s only dressed up relative to what I normally wear) but I look totally hot in it and he’s going to love it. And I’m going to love it.

  538. There are so many reasons why I admire and adore you —–among them ——>you are an amazing writer, light in the dark, force of nature, inspiration of inspirations ——and as if you needed another —you continue to surprise, shock and awe me —-you ROCK this RED dress —–I love the post and the concept behind it and I thank you for something truly inspiring to share with my viewers (all 4 of them) on my new web show this week.

    Merci from the bottom to the top of my heart!
    m

  539. Had to come back at this late date and tell you I did find my Red Dress (at least one of them) and I took the first step toward getting it today…I told him that I felt stifled and bullied and dismissed and that it was going to change so he needed to decide if he was going to work with me or against me.

    I’m worth this – thanks for reminding me…

  540. Pingback: The Red Dress Club

  541. Jenny, I don’t know if you read the comments on these old blogs anymore, but your post inspired me so much that I just can’t keep it all inside. I think I’ve been a little depressed since the beginning of the last school year. I forgot why I work as hard as I do. I lost all my motivation, and it’s been a chore to do anything but lay in bed and eat. The first time I read this post (before all this happened) I thought it was pretty and a good idea. Now it’s moved me to tears. I’ve forgotten that everyone NEEDS their red dress every once and a while, me included. I want to run outside right now at 10 at night and scream to the world that I am beautiful and I am worth it, because it’s true. I don’t know yet what my red dress is, but you’ve reminded me why I need to keep looking. And for that I can’t thank you enough. I’ll try to keep you updated. You saved me. Thanks.

    Molly
    P.S. Any update on where your red dress is right now? Because I want to wear it too.

  542. Pingback: Red Dress revisited — TheBloggess.com

  543. I haven’t seen this post before. It was published shortly after my father-in-law passed away and I wasn’t blog-stalking like normal. I needed it today though, so the timing is perfect.

    I love these pictures. And I love that you are happy in them. Your smile is radiant and you…are just beautiful. Thank you for sharing the red dress with me.

  544. Pingback: The Debut of Pursey Galore | Project: Purse and Boots
  545. Pingback: My Red Dress Moment « Evenstarlight
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  548. Pingback: The Traveling Red Dress | Story Bleed Magazine
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  550. Pingback: Epically Awesome Hyper Induced Ideas!!! « SmallTownBigCincy's Blog
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  554. I could probably use a red dress on a day like today… thank you for inspiring me to go out and find my version.

  555. Pingback: Tired and hurty and scared. « Toddler Planet

  556. This is such an amazingly wonderful idea! A traveling dress! If I could get away with it, and find a way to be more comfortable while doing so, I would totally wear dresses like this every day, or even little faerie outfits, or Halloween costumes. I know that some day I’ll be that crazy old lady and people will think I’ve regressed from Alzheimers because I will, eventually, just wear whatever the hell I want without worrying about being ‘appropriate’ about it.

    Sometimes, I do it now, but luckily there is a small nightclub where it’s ok and people don’t think I’m weird.

  557. I have been a fan for a long time, but I just saw this post today from your most recent traveling dress post. My red dress was starting a blog. And while I am still one post deep, I have to remind myself that I’m worth taking the time to sit and write and clear my mind. There’s a lot to be said for the courage to be the person that you truly want to be. That’s part of why I love The Bloggess so much- it’s audacious, shockingly funny and sometimes, just sometimes, inspirational as fuck. And it’s just because you made that choice. Thank you.

  559. I have never posted a comment before.
    I was born old. Cautious. I never did…. anything. I loved music and art and dance but married a farmer, a carpenter. Who kept me at home. Early to bed. Early to rise. A wife and a mother. Give. Give. Give.
    He passed away two years ago. I took a deep breath and stepped out into the world. I date. I dance. I sing along with the band. But still, so careful.
    I thought that was my red dress, but a bigger, bolder one tempts me.
    A 6 foot 8 Temptation. Oh my.
    Can I possibly express how inappropriate he is for me? Unestablished. Young. With little, little kids. While I am done, done, done with raising them! And oh yeah, Nigerian. And yet when he looks at me, I’m beautiful. When he ushers me through a door, I’m precious. When he touches me, I’m luscious. I’m an angel, a princess, a tigress, a woman! I’m gonna wear the hell out of my Nigerian.

  560. Thank you so much for this. It was what I needed to hear on so many levels. I am going to start living life like this. Life is too short to not wear the red dress. Thank you for inspiring me to go for it again.

    Kat

  561. I love the very idea of this. In July, I went with my cousin and our daughters to our first roller derby bout. It’s something that we’ve talked about for years, but had never gotten around to. At the beginning of the year, my cousin was diagnosed with a very agressive form of breast cancer. Suddenly, doing things that we’ve always talked about but never got around to seemed to take on a new importance. We had joked about trying out for roller derby, and even made up our own derby names – mine would be Barbie-Que’d, my daughter’s, Isa-Hell-a. We never took it seriously. After that bout in July, I was hooked. I am determined to at least try out, if not make a derby team. I am doing it for myself, for my cousin, and to show our daughters that anything is possible. I am 43 years old, and have led a pretty sedentary lifestyle for many years. The looks of skepticism from family, friends and acquaintances could be enough to sway me, but I am determined. I have started working out with a physical trainer, to work on strength and agility. I have gotten up on skates for the first time since I was a kid, and found that it’s like riding a bicycle.

    The red dress is a reminder to me to go out and do the things others might consider crazy or silly. Every woman, every person should have something in their life that may not make sense to anyone else; but that makes them feel alive. Our lives are precious. The time that we are given should be spent twirling in improbable red dresses or whizzing around a track on roller skates.

    Yesterday, we celebrated my cousin’s birthday. She continues to fight her cancer, and to school me on strength, resilience and grace every day. She has inspired my “red dress” experience.

    To all of the Sisters of the Traveling Red Dress…my heart is full of love and I am proud to count myself as one of you. You are beautiful.

  562. One of my blogging friends shared your red dress link with me this morning and I am wondering what has become of that absolutely fabulous red dress. I am linking to my Red Dress post! I would love to hear about the dress.

  563. Hello Bloggess! I just recently started following your blog after a friend of mine posted a link (your first post about Beyonce the metal chicken, I laughed for hours) on her facebook page. I also started following you on twitter (isn’t it fun how the internet let’s us stalk people?) and saw that you posted a link to another blogger. I read that post, and followed a link she posted to this, the original post that started it all.

    I have a blog myself (it’s about food, and my own journey to happiness), and one of the things I posted about recently was being worth it. I tell myself every morning that I am worth it. I am worth the work it is taking to get myself healthy (I’ve lost 30 lbs, bragging, I know, but shouldn’t everyone brag about stuff like that?).

    I had to post a link to this on my own blog, because, yes, I am worth it, so is everyone. and I absolutely love how you started the travelling red dress, and I love how it is inspiring others. Keep up the fantastic work!!!

  564. I’m going to now be One of THOSE Fans and do the ‘ZOMG we are SO! MUCH! ALIKE!’ thing.

    I wore a Supergirl costume for a day, nominally because I was working for a sci fi con (although surprisingly, no one else was wearing superhero costumes, so that was a little awkward). I saw a whole lot of people very intently not seeing me. And then, as I was leaving a diner, someone finally said something. Which rather made the whole experience worthwhile.

    http://elionwyr.livejournal.com/2096630.html

    (I love your red dress. Yay you!)

  565. Just read this post via a link on your interview – I now understand, it’ so simple, true and clear now! You know what my red dress is? Flying lessons, and there in black in white you mentioned that. It’s like an omen, but a good one not the bad one with that scary kid in the movie. For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to fly, my Dad was a pilot in WWII. I took ground school in high school, but there were no planes at the base were we were stationed. Then about 13 years later I tried again but only got a few hours of flight time. Ran out of money, single parent, etc.. Then my son got me an introductory flight for my birthday and afterward we talked about how fun and cool it was. He said I should go for it but like so many things I couldn’t justify it, this bill, fixing the house, all that stuff. Well, guess what? I am going to wear that beautiful red dress gosh darn it! I am going for it, for reals! Thank you!

  566. Read this thanks to a fabulous friend who shared on Facebook. Tears in my eyes at the end, I realize THIS totally hits everything that’s been getting to me over the past week/month. For the past couple of weekends I’ve sat at home and pouted because the plans I wanted to plan were overrun by the realities of the life I lead. No more pity parties! I’m going out to look for my red dress!!! You f’in ROCK!

  567. Like I said on Twitter, I am cheering myself up today by reading your blog randomly. All the bits I have missed 🙂

    I love this dress and I love this idea… I don’t know what my “red dress” is but I would love to wear yours… Your friend is so talented.

    Anyway, thanks for cheering me up and making me think about my “red dress”

  569. Pingback: Wear The Hell Out Of It | Mocha Momma

  570. I just saw this recently and now I’m searching eBay for a ball gown because I doubt I’ll get a chance to wear your traveling dress. But it’s cold out and I want to take pics in the woods but it would suck. So now I don’t know what to do. SIGH.

  571. Pingback: Fear and Costume: The Bloggess and The Traveling Red Dress. | Hitting Refresh with Laura Mayes

  575. It’s a wonder what one website leads us to on the internet. I came here from your friend Laura Mayes’ blog, after going to her blog from an online profile site….I don’t know either of you two but am glad that I did some random browsing during my search.

    This is such an inspirational post and its awesome that you have the moxie to not only get out there and do anything and everything that your heart desires, but to also make others do it to or they will fell guilty not following suit….or maybe the guilty part is just from my own bucket of fear-driven excuses to not wear that red dress! I have two blue dresses that I’ve only worn once. One as a bridesmaid and another as a Maid of Honor. The latter is something that I’d wear again but the former is ruined from cranberry and vodka stains (nope, didn’t come from me, either, lol). All in all, your “Traveling Red Dress” post and BlogHer activities make me not feel so corny for still liking fashion dolls in my late twenty-something old age!

    Take care 🙂

  576. Do you still share your red dress with other women? Because I’d like to wear it before I have surgery in the new year.

  577. It’s been a little over a year since I had the remarkable opportunity to wear the Red Dress and more importantly, to meet you! I just realized that I never put a comment here about wanting to wear the dress or about actually getting to do so some time later. Soooo … here’s that comment and the link to my post last year about actually wearing THE Red Dress is here: http://jamiward.blogspot.com/2010/11/red-dress.html

  578. I am just now discovering you so this is very late, but many years ago I went to London and decided to go to Harrod’s. I went to the high end evening gown department (in my jeans) and told them I was attending a movie premiere. I proceeded to try on all of their gowns and then decided that none of them looked right. Just so that I could spend the afternoon dressed in fancy gowns that cost way more than I would ever pay. Your pics reminded me of that day. Thanks.

  579. I don’t know if the dress is still making rounds… but my 30th is in August, and I want to wear the red dress! I want to go no where special and have it be amazing because I’m amazing and so is that dress! If this is possible, please let me know!

  580. Oh yes, I would love to wear that dress. Passion is my word for this year and it would be perfect. It fits so well with the ziplining I did earlier this year at 68 years old. It was a childhood dream and dreams do come true.

  582. Gasp! That dress is to die for, and you look gorgeous in it! …my friends and I used to dress up in ball gowns and go to the grocery store just for kicks, but as we’ve gotten older we’ve stopped. I think it might be time to arrange to do it again, I’ve been wearing too many jeans lately.

  585. Sometimes the hard thing is just figuring out what your Red Dress will be–I think particularly for women. It’s like we get our red-dress dreams squelched down, tamped down, pushed aside. I love this post, those pictures, this idea, the possibility of extending ourselves permission to celebrate and to be be (perhaps for the first time ever) fucking inappropriate in ways that feel very, very good.

  586. I’m reading this with mile-wide smile across my face. What a bloody brilliant thing to do for both yourself and others. It’s wonderful. And I want to thank you, not only for doing it but for making sense for me of something I did a few years ago….. I’m the Director of a theatre company. I have been for 10 years. We make great work but – in common with most companies our size in the UK – on tiny amounts of income and funding. It’s a labour of love. It’s exhausting. If I could imagine my life without it I really would stop. I would take back all the hours I’m working till the early hours of the morning for no pay, all the rejected applications, all the great ideas that we bust a gut trying to realise, all the days and days I’m away from my home and husband for work, all the soul searching, all the wishing I was ‘normal’, all the looks of incomprehension from my family about what I do, the complete lack of future security, all the meetings and networking events when I’m the only female director in the room, all the friends I’ve lost because there’s no time to keep up with them…….but….but…… I wrote my first play at 10yrs old. Theatre is how I understand the world. I’m not stopping. I wouldn’t know how. I really don’t. I’ve tried (twice).

    The Edinburgh Festival Fringe is the biggest arts festival on the planet. I go work it every year. The networking and receptions are never ending, ruthless, relentless and – for a woman who, despite looking and sounding like the life and soul of party, has been agoraphobic for many years – A really special kind of Hell. But about 5 years ago I rifled my wardrobe and every second-hand shop I could find and I gathered 5 red dresses, 4 red tops and 2 red skirts. I decided that that was my Festival wardrobe. For a whole month I would wear red and live up to it. I do this every year now. It ups my game. It makes me bolder. It certainly makes me easy to remember. I recommend it to everyone. It takes nerve, but it’s worth it.

    In November of this year – after a hellish and traumatising 12 months during which I felt like I was holding myself, my family and my company together with my bare hands and teeth – I felt I needed a fresh start. As I have more than enough scarlet clothing now, I gutted my groaningly full wardrobe (which contained 9 red dresses by this time) and ran a facebook and twitter ‘regifting’ campaign to distribute the many, many vintage and second hand clothes and the red dresses. I asked people to tell friends. The take up was instant. I posted those gems all over the damn country. And I asked the red dress recipients to promise to wear the dresses and NOT to leave them in the back of the wardrobe. To my knowledge, these women – aged 60 to 26 – have all been out and strutted their stuff in the dresses. For about a month I opened my email every day to a photo or message from a woman who was running around all happy in a new-to-her piece of clothing. It was a joy.

    And a one-time agoraphobic was on her feet applauding them all.

    It was wonderful to stumble on this blog today and have you put – so very much more beautifully and succinctly than I could have – why I was doing what I was doing. It’s a inspired idea and your photos are fantastic. So I’m on my feet clapping for you, and everyone else who has donned that dress or made a change to her life at your prompting. And I’d like to encourage everyone who has been touched by what you’ve done to think about how they can keep that sense of community and support alive. All I did was post gloves, skirts, shoes and dresses to folk. It cost about £10 in total. As a Director and writer I’m reading these posts and smiling and laughing and crying a little – and it makes me wonder – The Travelling Red Dress as a Play and Event.? What do you think? I’d love to talk it through. Can you imagine theatres mobbed with women – regifting, strutting, sharing stories and celebrating?

  587. I love this post! Made me want to write a blog about my own “bright red strapless ball gown”. So if you’re bored and want something to do that’ll kill about 5-10 minutes, take a look! 🙂

  588. I’m male and don’t wear too many red dresses 😉

    But I do certainly have a short story that needs to be worked on. Wonderful post 🙂

  589. Oh, Jenny…you look so, so lovely and ethereal. This still makes me want to go out and hunt down a red dress (although here, stuck in rural Wales, there isn’t much shopping like this to be had without a long drive). My friend Jay has been doing “Rock the Frock” shoots – wearing your wedding dress a second time – and I can’t manage this, since my frock is buried in a storage locker in Chicago.

    Might be time to search on eBay. Nothing like a red frock and a bit of glamour to try to stamp down a train wreck of depression.

  590. First I have to thank Wil Wheaton for bringing The Bloggess to my attention a while back. But I really want to thank you so very much Jenny for your humor and honesty . Thanks to the #silverribbons post I began the initial process to get re-enrolled into the VA Mental Health clinic. I should get set up with an appointment date tomorrow. Months of knowing what I needed to do only made me more depressed but your post (and the response to it) gave me the kick in the butt I needed to take action. Maybe meds and therapy are #travelingRedDress I need right now. Maybe soon, I will have the strength and energy again to actually wear such a beautiful gown too.

  591. A friend shared this on Facebook and I am glad I read it. I needed this today and I am sharing it with my other friends as well. Thank you so much for posting this. It’s beautiful in so many ways. Thank you.

    Side note: If you ever want to wear a ball gown around a bunch of other dressed up people you can at an annual event called Labyrinth of Jareth, it is a two night masquerade. I go every year with my friends. Here is the link if you are interested: http://www.labyrinthmasquerade.com/

  592. There’s a Jessica McClintock outlet here, and they often have amazing deals on dresses. Ball gowns for $25! I bet we could find red dresses in different sizes there to travel the world. 😉

  593. Posts like these are why I love you Jenny! It reminds me of how important it is to make time to play and be silly and enjoy those crazy moments no matter what life is throwing at us. Let there be red dresses!

  594. Pingback: My #travelingreddress is a free wedding dress. | Mockingbird, Don't Write
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  596. Pingback: What is your “Red Dress”? « Everything else.
  597. Pingback: ‘Traveling Red Dress’ Movement Proves Social Media Foundation Is Still People, Empowerment

  598. Have you seen Bette Davis in “Jezebel”? Red Dress = Scandalous… and yellow fever. A classic!

  600. First of all WOW, you are so amazing, I just happened to come across this post and you are exactly what I need in my life, everyday 🙂

    I have dreamt since I was a very little girl that I would wear a red dress to my wedding and now I am finally getting a chance. You are who I will be thinking of for a moment walking down the aisle, how I am not doing it for anyone else but me 🙂 What a wonderful legacy for my dress to become one that was shared with the world.

    “I want, just once, to wear a bright red, strapless ball gown with no apologies. I want to be shocking, and vivid and wear a dress as intensely amazing as the person I so want to be.”

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  610. I’ve just read this… it’s amazing!
    Is there something I can do to help??? Maybe buy (or sew 🙂 ) a new red dress and begin sending it out here from Italy? Or? I would so much like to be into it, need to do sthg!!
    It’s truly inspiring!!!!

  611. Pingback: The Bloggess’ confession about self-harm sparks a flood of positive reader reaction - thezoenetwork

  612. Hi Mrs. Lawson, I just wanted to let you know that after learning about the Traveling Red Dress and reading all of the amazing stories that have come to be associated with it, I have been inspired to create my very own Red Dress, so that I may donate it to you in hopes of furthering this campaign and keeping the Red Dress alive and traveling.

    Now, I can’t promise that it’ll get done any time soon, since I am currently busy with school and other such nonsense, but I WILL promise that it will get done within the year, and that I will send it along to you once it is complete. Unfortunately, I fear it won’t be anywhere near as beautifully extravegant as the original, but I will try my darndest to get it as close to good enough as I can.

    I suppose you won’t see this comment, it being so long since this post was written and all, but once I finish construction I’ll be sure to send you an email in hopes that you are still taking donations. And if you aren’t by that time, or if you fear that my sewing/construction skills won’t be up to snuff to survive such a journey, well, then at least I’ll have my very own Red Dress to wear around town and to the grocery store with my head held high, and I’ll make sure to be appropriately furiously happy with that fact alone. (:

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  614. Lovelovelove!!

    Beautiful idea and a beautiful dress. Thank you for this post (years after it was posted) It made today’s smile that bit wider (it’s becoming Jokeresque; is that a bad thing?)

  615. Just stumbled across your post today. I have just gone through a tough year of heartache and struggle. Your post made me realize we are responsible for opening our eyes to the beauty in our lives. I was planning on a shopping trip to the thrift store today. Think I’ll keep an eye out for a red dress!

  616. These pictures of you are absolutely stunning. I love the last one. You truly look like you are enjoying yourself. You are a beautiful women. I just shared my story over on Facebook.

    “I just came across this project this morning. I’ve been reading stories, and there are some amazingly beautiful women on here showing off their dresses! My cousin is getting one, Emily Fowler, she is amazing…her husband and son are too. They are such a strong family. Emily really deserves to feel beautiful and strong at this time in her life! Of course, she has always been beautiful and strong to me. ? I would like to request my own red dress. I am a stay at home mom to two wonderful kids. In the last few years, I have been diagnosed with Cyclothymia (a milder form of bipolar disorder), though I’m mostly on the depression side of it. I’ve also got IED (intermittent explosive disorder) and I grew up with ADD. My kids have suffered because of my issues. in October 2010, I checked myself into a mental hospital for a week because of my symptoms and thoughts I was having towards my children. This is not the person I want to be. I don’t tell many people about these issues and it seems a lot of people think mental illness is fake. I struggle every day to keep myself going for my family. I’m a larger size…I’m not sure about dresses as I haven’t tried on on in a while. bust is DDD (or F). I wear a size 20 jeans. I’d also need a photographer as well. I’m in Sacramento, CA. Thank you for sharing all of your stories. I really enjoyed reading them.”

    Thank you for posting about this.

  617. This is such an amazing piece. I have been struggling with unemployment for the past 5 months and have been having trouble reminding myself that it’s okay to let go once in a while. I have 2 daughters who I see less than I would like because of divorce and a fiance in CA. There is a lot on my plate and it all seems to stress me out in some way or another.

    I have hopefully seen a great vision through the insight of this entry. Just this morning I was thinking of my daughters and telling myself “It’s okay to let go of the adult and be child.” I have lost sight of innocence and laughter a lot and should just learn to let go and be goofy. I have my moments, which I have started writing about with my own blog as a New Year resolution – I hope it lasts.

    I just wanted to tell you thank you and I hope I can capture your spirit in a glass jar. I just need to remember to put air holes in the lid.

  620. Pingback: How One Moment Inspired Action

  621. I am so in awe of you!! What a wonderful project you’re doing!! I’m jumping on the bandwagon and going to offer some free red dress sessions!! And……..I’m going to get my pics done in a red dress by a fellow photographer. See…….I married at 18 to my ‘high school sweetheart’ who didn’t turn out to be such a sweetheart! I was in an abusive marriage for 11 years. I spent the next 16 years in fear. I did marry during that 16 year time but after the death of his father closely followed by the death of his brother he decided that alcohol was his solution, so I had to leave a man that I truly loved. When my younger daughter was 17 I finally realized that my abusive ex no longer had power over me. It was truly a light bulb moment!! My Red Dress dream was to become a photographer. 18 Months ago, with the prompting of my daughters and the support of my boyfriend (who, by the way is an amazing, gentle, funny, caring man – I could go on) I started my website and actually made some money last year with my photography. I even had a couple photos in a gallery in Denver last year!!

    Vicki

  622. Just don’t really know what to say?(blog?) I’ve never seen a blog,read a blog,tried to blog!? Many years ’61’ of them, lots of give, not much take for myself, Not complaining, just need some Love and loads of hugs, sort of out of practice on the recieving end of things, I would love to swirl, twirll and just wrap myself up in size 22 poppy red fabric in the form of a (Red Dress) Dress and dance in a graveyard?? You bet your buns, I would do this beautiful thing for myself, I just need a great big push and open arms and hands to help make it happen!
    How do I say thank-you and end,send, complete ,this blog????? {EACE, Gail K.

  623. I think what you are doing is absolutely beautiful. I have lived through child abuse, battled with depression, and come out the other side of a bad marriage to a condescending manipulative man. I have had a rough time of things and I am still, but I know there are so many others that have it worse than I or have it bad in other ways. I am a strong woman, and unbeknownst to me I always have been. So this year when I remarried to my lively and lovely wife I wore my red dress. A dress made from velvet that was entirely too expensive, and looked nothing like any wedding dress I have ever seen. Yes I wore a red dress to get married, but my true red dress was proclaiming my love for my now wife.
    I will be keeping my wedding dress, but I have another red velvet party dress that I’d like to offer up. I will post on Facebook with a picture so I can get it to someone.

  624. I’m a photographer. If the “red dress” comes to baltimore and I would love to offer my photography services for this wonderful mission. I mean everyone deserves a beautiful picture of themselves in their red dress!

  625. If you have an area of links to photographers who would like to provide photography sessions for a Red Dress shoot, please add me to the list. I do this kind of shoot all the time!

  627. Oh well shit… see what happens when I take a time-out from the Internet and then follow old links back here while perusing posts about Susan Niemur and the dress in DC during BlogHer last year? I ask stupid questions. Happy to see that there are 10 traveling red ball gowns (one in smaller sizes) floating about out there now.
    I’d say next time I’ll get caught up first then comment after but I’d just be fooling myself (and you if you bought that line.)
    Carry on.
    Nothing to see here.

  629. That dress is gorgeous! And you look great in it! What a good idea. Now to figure out what my red dress is….

  630. Your story is very inspiring. I’m 39 and I’ve been sick for 19 years now (Hodgkin’s disease and now, osteonecrosis). I’m known for my optimism and I like to help others, morally, when I can, so I’d love to help create a “traveling red dress” in Spain/Europe. Could you explain to me how you did it? I’m sure that a lot of European women need it too… 😉
    Thanks for helping and I hope, one day, this could be a world network!!
    Take care
    xxx

  631. I wanted to share with you… you’ve inspired me to make a Red Dress Day here at home. I’ve gathered together a bunch of wonderful women, some volunteer photographers and we are going to put on those red dresses and have the best day EVER! Thank you for the inspiration! I am so very excited!

  632. I’ve spent the last hour looking through this blog post and resulting stories and pictures and I am sooo inspired. I myself want a red dress, not for wearing to the grocery store or around town but for my wedding. Technically reaffirming my vows. When we originally got married I was 8 months pregnant, it was unusually hot for an october afternoon, we planned it in a week, at a courthouse, with me wearing the cheapest dress that would actually fit me. It was a prom dress from DEB. don’t get me wrong it was a pretty dress but I never felt right wearing a white dress. I had my son at my wedding and i was 8 months pregnant!!!!!! I had always said I would wear something bright and colorful, unfortunately my family talked me into a white dress. And while I think a few of the pictures are pretty I didn’t feel beautiful and radiant and wonderful like you should on your wedding day. Since that day I had a healthy baby girl(thank you lord) and my husband and i seperated,were seeing other people, and on the verge of divorce. We managed to pull our relationship together and make it through so we want to reaffirm our vows one day. And I want it to be everything I dreamt of the first time but wasn’t able to have. And I guarantee I will be wearing a red dress and I will be radiant

  634. Jenny,

    It’s not a ballgown, but still, I want to show you:

    https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=251579571557263&set=a.142014372513784.21166.141982189183669&type=3&theater

    PS I read your blog at work when I don’t have enough to do and I’m trying to look busy. I’m sure my coworkers think I have the best job ever because I’m always laughing at my desk. Actually, scratch that. I have no idea what my coworkers are thinking. They’re like Protestants from Nebraska. Not being a Protestant and since I’ve never been to Nebraska…I’m just guessing. A few of them claim to be from Iowa. I’ve never been to Iowa, but the fact is, they act more like Nebraska than Iowa. Anyway…my point is, I’ve been trying to hold my laughs in and cover my mouth with both hands when I’m reading your blog. Today was all about Ikea and the torpedo (I’m new and trying to catch-up). I was handling myself decently well until you got to the checkout line. I had to laugh or I might have farted. Lesser of two evils. Thank you!

    Also, I wish you could meet my friend, Connie. She’s awesome and if the two of you were in the same room I could just sit back, listen and laugh (or fart, depending).

    Oh! Do you know about scratch-n-sniff wallpaper? http://www.flavorpaper.com/wallpaper/detail_in_cat/52/88/B-A-N-A-N-A-S

    Only, I need to call them because I want to make sure just the bananas smell like bananas and not the whole thing. At that price, they should do it right.

    Christy

    Christy

  635. Our group, the Grown Ass Woman Brigade, is hosting a Red Dress Ball inspired by this post, in Orlando Florida on June 16, 2012. We ask our guests to come not as they are, but as they want to be. We would love to have you and/or the Red Dress join us.

  636. Hi! I am looking for my own “red dress” but in white. My husband and I eloped and his loving parents are throwing us a wedding but unfortunatly my parents are not as supportive and refuse to purchase the dress. I am a 22 US. If anyone has a dress they would be willing to let me borrow it would mean the world to me. Thank you! Pinksavvy@sbcglobal.net

  637. I am glad I found you! Your humor is fabulous. That dress looked great on you. Love it..Something about a red dress makes you feel confident and fierce! Your daughter is a vision in hers!

  638. WOW! Saw you on the Katie show and never thought I would feel so strongly about a simple red dress…but I do! You go girl with your bad self in that gorgeous red dress!! And thanks so much for sharing and giving hope to not only me but all those who may feel like their goals are not achievable.
    If the red dress ever comes near Philadelphia PA- I would love to partake in the sharing as I could use the uplift and power of the magic it shares.
    Here’s to RED DRESSES and Skinny Girl Margarita’s!!

  639. I just watched Jenny and the “Red Dress” on the Katie Couric show. I was inspired and boy did I need some inspiration. I am 41 years old. Thats about all I truly know about myself…my age. I am in a rut, no thats not quite right, its more of a canyon. I could tell you my story, but its one that has been told a million times…I had it all and then I met the guy…you know…that story. The only thing that I have done that I am actually proud of in the last 8 years is give birth to my beautiful, intelligent, kind son, Cooper. I am married to a wonderful man but we have a miserable marriage. I am failing as a mother and wife and everyday that passes is another day I know I have wasted hating my life and not knowing how to fix it. I know somewhere inside of me is the mother and wife I know that I am suppose to be but all my 5 year old son and my husband ever see is this angry, bitter, depressed woman, whom I don’t even know. I used to be the person that would wear the “Red Dress” everyday, to anywhere and she would have made a great mom and wife. I need the red dress.
    Sincerely,
    Shelia

  640. I cried when I read this (I had just seen the katie Couric show and googled the traveling red dress). I once had a magical red dress. I was 16 years old at the time. It was a wonderful strapless (after all, it was 1957) red taffeta dress with a giant skirt. I bought it to wear to the Manlius Military Academy Winter Weekend Ball. Oh how much I was in love with that fellow. It was not meant to be. His mother didn’t like me and in those days those things seem to rule. I often think of that and she might be surprised that i turned out just fine. I went on to marry and have three children…then came the divorce and the heartache. Even though it (the divorce) was over 30 years ago (yes, I am in my 70s!), I still feel guilty about everything (it was an abusive relationship, but I still feel guilty) go figure. I went on to have a lovely career, am retired, but 12 days later had a small stroke, which left me anxious and scared – scared of everything. I think I need another red dress, even if I use it to sit and watch t.v. in to keep the depression away (oh how it sneaks in). Thanks for the story of the Traveling Red Dress!!

  641. I just watched you on the Katie show and I am so inspired by you and what you have done. I am too suffering from severe depression and massive anxiety and I feel so stuck and do not know what to do to get out of this hole. But I feel like if all you can then I can too. I need a red dress moment SOOO BAD! I spend most my time in my pajamas since I was sexually attacked at work and lost my job in July because of it. I am anxiously awaiting for the state to investigate and deathly afraid of what that means. I live in a small town and was once kidnapped and held for 3 days and raped and the backlash from me fighting for justice was so painful. People can be so cruel. I never did get justice for that attack. My recent incident brought up a lot of the pain and fear from that painful memory. My poor husband doesn’t know how to handle my despair but he is patient and praying the happy go lucky me will return. I dont know if she will, but i want it like I have never wanted anything in my life before. Please tell me how to embrace the power of the red dress in hopes that I can begin anew with the joy I see in so many others who have done so. Thank you for being so brave and for reaching out.

  642. How inspiring! I am filled with hope and courage to be happy and fulfill my potential. I will stop waiting for something to happen and choose m way tosuccess. Thank you for beng awesome and sharing

  643. Very inspired with your story and the story of the many different women who have had the courage to wear this dress and concur their fear! I’m a recent single mother of a 12 year old boy and am alone with no family within 600 miles. I am at a crossroads in my life. I also have fibromyalgia… There are days I don’t or can’t get out of bed but struggle to for my son. I would love to have the dress just for an hour, to slip it on and feel that power I know is inside me. To see a smile on my face that women who have worn the dress have on theirs.. Like the three women, four including yourself, today on Katie. Sooooo inspiring you are and thank you for this simple but powerful simplicity. Hopefully I too can out that dress on and feel the magic!

  644. I suffer from anxiety. I’ve coped for years. I am also a three time TNBC survivor who just a had another mastectomy Sept 6th. This is my fourth bought with breast cancer. 5 years ago I had a bought with depression. I guess the timing is right since depression was inconvenient while I was trying to stay alive. The depression came hard and heavy after treatment was over. I committed myself for observation and realized I didn’t need to be there. See, they were under the impression I was suicidal. Why would I do such a thing after trying wilth everything I am to stay alive. Instead, they put me on a truckload of anti-depressants. It’s taken me 5 years and many hours of therapy to now only be on 1mg of Ativan 2-3 times a day for anxiety. I was also 5 years cancer free until a routine mammogram a month ago informed me that I had cancer yet again. I smiled today while watching all the brave ladies who wore the Red Dress on Katie. While I’m not sure if the magical red dress would do the same for me, the concept made me smile. Just the thought of me rocking a beautiful red full length gown posing for the camera was enough. I will file it in my mental rolodex and whip it out when needed. My motto is Be blessed…Be a blessing. Being blessed is important for sure. Taking your blessing and sharing it with others, blessing them, is pleasing to God. That’s what you did. God bless you all for your courage and strength. Please know that all things are possible with Jesus Christ. Be blessed…Be blessed!!!!

  645. WOW how touching and I am so glad that you have a husband even if he doesn’t know how to react. He will figure it ALL out one day. Depression is such a horrible thing. Sometimes I just keep myself locked in the house so know-body will know. Actually My past boyfriend is the only one that know immediately. He will call and call until I answer 🙂 We were together 25 years. We still remain friends but I as most do try to hide it from EVERYONE!! My boyfriend now don’t really know how bad it is so he usually don’t know when I am depressed. He is a wonderful man. Thanks for all the stories tonight. I never could figure out how to sign up for the RED DRESS but I have truly enjoyed all the reading <3 Thanks so very much KAT

  646. i love the idea about wearing the dress. I would love to wear the dress. Two years ago my world seamed to start falling apart. Sence 2010 i have lost 5 impotant men in my life, had a miscarrige, 3 surgeries and one heartattack. When i seen you on Katie yesterday i just started crying because i knew exacly how you were feeling. I live in montgomery texas and i would love so much for you to send me the red dress to wear.

  647. When I read other people story, I feel so blessed. I also watched the Katie Couric show and was inspired by your tenacity to not give up and how you took something that motivated you to motivate other. Motivating others is a gift and a blessing. Yesterday I wanted the red dress for myself, but after reading a facebook post from a friend who turned 40 yesterday, I realized her triumphs, I want to be able to give her the gift of the red dress. Last year this time we did not know if my friend was going to make it, she was in and out of the hospital with a rare blood disorder, that caused in lymphocytes to be abnormal, as a result, her whole body would shut down and become swollen, she could not wear shoes or leave the house. Today she is able to drive herself to church in order to praise God for his mercy and goodness. I believe that my friend deserve the red dress and would like to know how do I get the red dress to her. Continue doing what you’re doing and may God continue to bless you and all the women out there.
    Paula

  648. I am absolutely amazed at this blog! I would love to participate in a red dress! If anyone has one available please let me know. My friend and I would like to have our red dress moment together. I live in Washington State. If you have a dress available please let me know!

  649. you have absolutely inspired me in such a deep way…i seen you on the katie show and i told my bf about your project and how i sobbed infront of the tv as i got ready for work…i am 25yrs old and have struggled with depression for as long as i can remember…but i have noticed that my problem has always been trying to please everyone else around me except ME…im always scared of what ppl will say or think about me…well with the help of your story and my bf i am on the search for my red dress…and im going to “wear the hell out of it”!!! thank you so much for sharing your story and inspiring so many…

  650. Ah, the beginning…

    Amazing dress, a beautiful sentiment and a stunning model in the cemetery!

  651. I read this post when you first posted, and something today that made me think of it. I think of your red dress so often when I am having those “really looking at my life” moments, and just felt the need to actually come back here to say THANK YOU. I don’t want to wear a red dress. Actually, I hate dresses. But I have acted on so many metaphorical red dresses since reading your post that I just needed to say thanks. As usual, you’re the best.

  652. I recently sent off a red dress to a beautiful soul that I met by chance the one and only time I used Omegle random chat service. She lives over 1000 miles away from me and we’ve never met face-to-face, but when we talk it’s like we were born to be friends. Of all the people I know or have known, she seemed the most deserving of this honor. I also included a copy of “Lets Pretend This Never Happened” to help her on her journey. I hope these small tokens show her just how important and amazing she is.

  653. Oh my god, I LOVE YOU. I know this post is old but I have to say that. I feel the same way about most dresses. “Oh, look at that dress! It’s beautiful, I want one! No, you don’t go to any dress-worthy occasions! And even if you did, you have your fancy-occasion-dress. (A pretty standard blue dress)” But you know what? I don’t care! Thanks to your post, next time I can, I’m gonna buy the hell out of a Victorian-style ball gown! Thank you so much.

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  657. is this thing still going around? i didn’t ask about it before because when i first read this post, when this was a hot topic in the blogosphere, i wanted it, but i knew there were women who needed it more than me.

    the past eighteen months for me, though, have been some of the shittiest. i was looking over some of my older posts, and there’s one where i’d linked your red dress post and erin’s red dress post, and i reread them… and now i don’t care so much that other women might need it more than me. i’d kind of like to get my hands on it, if it’s not too late for that. if it is, then that’s okay. but…

    (The red dress has been retired because it’s been worn to pieces but there are some still floating around. Email me at jenny@thebloggess.com and I’ll see if there are any around. 🙂 ~ Jenny)

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  661. Don’t want to wear nice jewelry with these awesome clothes. visit MajesticVUE for nice jewelry items there. If you are looking for some nice chains, bracelets or anything like this in any part of the globe, you can get that through here with FREE delivery all over the globe. Gold Hip Hop Jewelery| MajestiVUE.

  665. I feel the same way about most dresses. “Oh, look at that dress! It’s beautiful, I want one! No, you don’t go to any dress-worthy occasions! And even if you did, you have your fancy-occasion-dress. (A pretty standard blue dress)” But you know what? I don’t care! Thanks to your post, next time I can, I’m gonna buy the hell out of a Victorian-style ball gown! Thank you so much. best restaurants Lima

  666. Honey, you look beautiful in that dress. You are beautiful (really, I think you have a beautiful face, for starters), and the dress is gorgeous and looks just right on you. And I’m a great believer in pampering beauty and sharing it. best restaurants Lima

  667. I never heard of the red dress… till about two years ago I dreamed a red dress dancing… without a body inside it… but moving gracefully, while a deep feminine voice chanted “Red Dress Medicine” over and over till I wrote and wrote it down. Since then, I have learned of the red dress in all kinds of shapes and expressions. My deepest wish is for a women’s gathering… to discover what our medicine is, together. Those of us called to redress, repair, dance in the red dress for those who can no longer dance because they are missing or murdered…

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