MORE GRAVY IN 2011

in blogging about blogging again, James Garfield for Sainthood, no one thinks this is funny but me, Post that people who don't twitter won't get, Random Crap, stuff better left unpublished

It’s my birthday in less than two hours and if you follow me on twitter you probably already know that since I just had a long, accidentally confusing discussion there about pony gravy and arthritis and I somehow came to the conclusion that there are a lot of people who have extra gravy but I never have extra gravy and so I came up with my new campaign slogan for the next time that I run for political office.

I'm a little drunk but I'm pretty sure this totally sings.

This probably makes almost no sense even if you’re perfectly sober and actually followed the whole weird thing on twitter but it’s (almost) my birthday so you technically have to say nice things to me.  Unless you comment on this before midnight.  Then you are free to remind me that I really need to stop drunk-blogging.

PS. On an unrelated note, for some reason a ton of church websites apparently just found the James Garfield Miracle post and they somehow came to the conclusion that this is “an inspirational blog” and now all these conservative, religious websites are linking to the front page of my blog which is all “MORE GRAVY IN 2011” and “VAGINA DENTATA“.  I’m probably the only one who finds this amusing.

230 thoughts on “MORE GRAVY IN 2011”

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  2. The right wing zealots are going to put you into the Pandorica, you do realize that, don’t you?

  8. Just don’t drink too much that you puke on your computer, because that shit would be awful to clean up on your birthday (or make someone else do it).

    Happy Birthday!

  9. Happy Birthday, Jenny. I am so glad you were born !!
    I find it extremely amusing that conservative religious sites are linking to you… extremely.

  10. You should start your own church… Where we can drink… And drunk blog…. And make miracles happen… Or just call regular shit miracles…. That would be awesome!

  11. I’m at work at 11:24pm. I have been here since 8am. I just imagined you screaming VAGINA DENTATA to a priest and I laughed out loud and had to explain that to the crew guys who are producing a TV show while I sit back here laughing at toothed vaginas. Thanks!

    Also, vaginas is apparently not a word. It wants me to change it to vagina’s. So I guess I can say a vagina’s teeth?

    Happy birthday in 24 minutes here on the east coast! You should probably already start celebrating because it’s your birthday already in parts of the world.

  12. don’t stop drunk blogging and i won’t stop drunk offering you more gravy and comments….

  14. Okay, I’m no graphic designer, but here’s how I envision the More Gravy ’11 logo…it’s like the Obama “Change” logo except the blue stripes are actually dripping brown gravy, not blue stripes like the flag. Maybe there’s even a gravy boat in there, I don’t know.

    Or maybe I should just finish my whiskey sour and shut up.

  15. Tuesday nights are the nights I traditionally get together with my friends and cook dinner, so I missed out on reading Twitter and discovering your (surely inspirational) message regarding gravy.

    Silly real life interfering in online stalking.

    That’s okay though, I’m on board with all references to gravy, whether or not I understand them.

    I also feel that way regarding cheese, Rainbow Bright and old dead president jokes.

  17. MORE DRUNK BLOGGING in 2011 PLEASE!! There are days where I live vicariously through you and your drunk tweets! 🙂

    And yes, the tiara is mandatory all day wear tomorrow! Have an AMAZING Birthday!!

  20. First things first: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

    Now on to the important stuff (because getting older is so last year): I support your campaign and disagree with you on conservative religious people not finding your front page amusing. I think you’re helping them see the light at last. And soon the whistle will alert them before getting ran over, so don’t worry.

    My, I guess I shouldn’t comment while tipsy either. Save some booze for the morrow; you’ll need it when you sober up and realize how old you are.

  21. You could technically use your powers for evil instead of good this time. IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN. Happy birthday tomorrow & may there be ponies, gravy, biscuits, tequila & Twitter.

  23. Following off Rachael’s: The red stripes are actually bacon strips. Because you need something to help transport the gravy to your mouth. If you use your fingers, your family just starts making all these snarky comments about what a waste it was to send you to college.
    Happy Birthday Jenny! May it be filled with much alcohol and cake.

  25. Please never stop drunk blogging… just let me know so I can start drinking earlier!

    And you absolutely know that most of us side-show-freaks totally think the same shit is funny. My only wish is that I could join you in an awesomesauce bowl of biscuits and bacon-milk-gravy. Since my gluten allergy won’t allow any biscuits I’ve announced we’re having Pig Candy in your honor! You’re welcome.

  26. Happy Birthday for tomorrow! Or for today, considering I live in the future and your tomorrow is my today.

    I want more gravy. I just want someone else to make it for a change. Gravy for everybody!

  28. No. You’re not the only one who finds that amusing. I find it amusing and awesome. A whole new subculture will now know about vagina dentata. FUCK YES.

    Also, Happy Birthday!

  29. Happy Birthday! I think you should start the day with cupcakes & champagne. Anything that pushes more gravy is ok in my book~reminds me of the comic who used to say” I thought gravy was a beverage until I was 15″~in fact, more gravy is the best idea I’ve heard for a new year’s resolution in a long time!

  30. Shit. I should have told you. There are new rules now for being a religious conservative. You have to not want to spend my money and believe in God. That is it. The rest of the stuff was just too much to remember and not much fun. So baby, your site is IN! Happy fucking birthday!!! WHOO HOOO!!!!
    Btw, if you give up drunk blogging, do we have to give up drunk commenting? Seems unfair. Just saying.

  31. Here’s to more gravy, more drunken blogging, more xanax and more Bloggess in 2011
    Game on bitches~
    Happy day you fell from your mothers loins Jenny!

  32. I find your PS extremely amusing. And Pss, I would totally boat my second day dressing in extra gravy if ever available. Happy Birthday Girl!

  34. I am anti gravy. But I also prefer food not to touch. So….that was an inspirational post but does this mean Baptists and holiness people are going to start stalking your site. Cause that could be fun. In other weird news, I’ve been asked to do a weekly spot on a sports radio thing. All I can imagine is clarie from Steel Magnolias and her locker room color commentary…

  37. conservative: check
    christian:check
    Loves gravy, blogging/tweeting under the influence and funny open minded people. After this crappity year, I have to consume a few glasses of wine to even think about blogging.
    Here’s to an uplifting 2011 for us all.
    Happy Birthday.

  38. I totally suck at remembering your birthday and I’ve read every single one of your posts three times or more. I’m awesome.

    You can have all my extra gravy forever. I don’t eat gravy, so it kind of just backs up and then I have an overabundance of gravy everywhere because it explodes and it’s just a terrible experience. You’d be doing me a favor by taking my gravy.

    That sounded bad.

  40. I would totally mail you our extra gravy, but then it would probably sit in your P.O. Box for like a year, grow into some kind of vomit inducing blob, and then I wouldn’t recommend eating it. But I would suggest throwing a party and inviting all of your hate-mailers to it and getting them to eat it. That’d be the funniest thing to watch. And you’d be blameless, as you could just blame the shitty postal service for the fail. I am SO sending you gravy now! Happy Birthday.

  42. Happy happy HAPPY Birthday! I missed the twitter convo… So I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.. But I am sure it was damn hilarious! Thumbs up to #drunkblogging.. *grin*

  48. I absolutely LOVE that religious websites are linking to your blog. This is most definitely going to lead to future hilarious offensive posts in response to the über religious comments. Two thumbs up!

  49. How did you do that with the t-shirts? Photoshop? Damn. I’ll send you all kinds of gravy if you show me how to make my own smart-ass t-shirts.

  50. All I can think of is Wavy-Gravy “an activist clown and a former frozen desert” who says he’s Saint Misbehavin’ and we can see how this would get all tangled in my brain with you, can’t we? Yes. Yes we can.

    Happy birthday. I think you should found a commune. And then you could wear your tiara on alternate Thursdays. I’m glad you were born too!

  57. My birthday is Thursday and I can’t be more than eight hours from wherever you are. I say we have a party! (I’ll be leaving my vagina dentata at home, but feel free to bring James Garfield.)

  58. So anyway. I’m done with my antibiotics and my pain pills, so after a month on the wagon? I’m a tiny bit drunk, too! And I think this is h.i.l.a.r.i.o.u.s.

    Happy Birthday!

    juliejulie

  61. I read all your tweets and understand completely what went on. Basically, every time a bell rings, an arthritic pony’s vagina gets more gravy.

  63. Screw with the fundies’ minds by making them think we all worship James Garfield. I mean, he did create a miracle. And now we can use gravy for James Garfield communion!

  64. So I’m tired and I read this post title as, “More GRAVITY in 2011,” which is a horrible slogan. Who wants to be weighed down* even more?! More gravy is awesome. You win!

    *My knowledge about how gravity works brought to you by a vauge memory of that one Futurama episode. (The one where Fry, Bender, & Zap delivered pillows on the planet with more gravity and they broke the hover dolly.)

  66. Maybe some thoughtful young person will realize that one can be crass and librul and also inspiring and they will remember this when they decide to leave the crazies at 18 rather than sticking around long enough to have a few babies?

  67. I think you’ll get elected on that platform.

    And I think drunk blogging is the best kind of blogging. In fact, I’m going to toast your birthday with another beer. Cheers!

    Happy birthday!

  68. Happy Birthday! Having a birthday (yours) right after Christmas is way more fun than having it (mine) right before Christmas because you get way better stuff, since everything is on sale. Do you get combination Birthday/New Year’s gifts? I’m thinking that’s better than combination Birthday/Christmas gifts, because it would have to include lots of alcohol, whereas mine in the past have included Christmas decorations, which is not very birthdayish at all.

    PS: I think the t-shirts would be better if they included a photo of you inside a gravy boat, paddling in a big river of gravy.

    PPS: The church thing rocks! I think they are insurance to make sure you get into heaven. Because they are all going to be praying for you, once they actually read your blog.

  69. I just discoved plum wine and it rocks my socks off. So my wish for you is to discover it too and to be totally and disgustingly happy this next year of your life. Happy Birthday Jenny!!! You are awesome!!! And I really do mean that although truthfully I am not 100% sober at this moment.

  70. @Shay — A dear friend once mailed me tofu. It took over a month to reach me. The package was DRIPPING when it arrived. The mailman was not amused.
    I threw the package away.
    My friend said, “But there was a really nice letter in there! And some cookies.”
    “And a chunk of rotting tofu.”

    But this is not a post about tofu. It is a post about gravy, and birthdays. So happy birthday, Jenny! I promise not to mail you tofu.

  72. I have to agree with the person who said you might be selling “I want the pony raw” short.
    Think about it — that’s some awesome shit right there! …but I might be biased b/c I’m not much for gravy (though I can totally understand why *more* gravy would be more appealing than less gravy).

    Anyway, happy birthday! 😀

  74. I laughed the whole time the twitter thing was going down… I read out loud to my family during dinner too.

    Somehow, the whole raw pony thing didn’t go over as well as I had hoped.

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Enjoy the day that people will be overly nice to you!

  75. In response to the above commenter, I would definitely buy a “Gravy be thy name!” bloggess t-shirt. The power of Bloggess compels you!

  76. We have the same birthday only mine was in November and on a different day. I got a pony and it made me gravy. So I win. Again.

  77. Many happy returns.
    You do realize that the juxtaposition of “more gravy” and “vagina dentata” might just inspire some severely disturbing sausage-themed mental images? Maybe it’s just me.

  78. Happy Birthday! And also, please don’t stop drunk-blogging. Ever. I would’ve said I’d sponsor you with booze but that would be all illegal because I’m totally underage and then all the church websites would be so dissapointed in one of us. Don’t know which one yet.

    Hmm. Anyway, enjoy your birthday and demand llamas from random family members because you are a birthday girl.

  81. Happy Birthday! and, no, you’re not the only one who thinks the church thing is funny… I’m just hoping someone bases a sermon off you, because THAT is what I call inspirational! CANNA GETTA WITNESS, MOTHAFUCKA?

  82. I had more gravy in 2010 and it wasn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

    Also, “Lion King” is way funnier if you substitute “vagina dentata” in every time they say “hakuna matata.”

    True story.

  83. I think “more gravy” oughta pair up with the “rent is too damn high” guy (up here in NY)…more gravy and lower rent. Unbeatable. And frankly if more conservative Xians thought about the power of the vagina dentata they might take women more seriously. Which wouldn’t be a bad thing AT ALL. It’s a win-win all ’round.
    Happy Birthday. Does this mean you’re a capricorn? Perhaps think about getting a goat, then, instead of a pony. Besides, then in a pinch you could eat the goat (and make gravy), which would be waay tastier than pony. Or so I hear.

  84. Happy birthday Jenny! I think you have a long list of new t-shirts to get cracking on when you sober up…wait, does that happen?

    More raw pony!

  89. Oh those poor, poor souls who come here looking for religious inspiration and find the F word and teeth-filled vaginas!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY girlie!

  90. I’m a supporter of GIVFFCK, or Gravy I.V.’s For Fat Camp Kids. Also known as, Give a Fuck.

    It’s a program to save the little chubbies who are shipped off to Fat Camp by their overly controlling, and probably anorexic, parents by sneaky them I.V.’s of gravy for nurishment.

    Kind of similar to Save The Whales.

  91. I don’t like my food to touch, but I have very recently made an exception for gravy. I like it, don’t get me wrong, but if I think too much about it….I can no longer take a bite, and I have to have it on a separate plate so that it has no opportunity to run off the potatoes and contaminate my other food. So I am just now getting used to a little grave, and more gravy would just be too much. It is a solid platform, however, so I may vote for you any way.

    We ALL find it amusing that religious conservatives are drawn to your site. Many will fade, but I suspect you shall become the “guilty pleasure” of quite a few. How could you not?

  94. If this turns into a religious blog I will burst into flames . You know that right?

    I agree, there is never enough gravy. Except when I make it because I know there is never enough.

  95. I wonder if all those churches linking to you will help James Garfield’s campaign to attain sainthood.

    Oh, and btw, Happy Birthday!

    ~EdT.

  98. Wait… are we talking about thick, creamy white country gravy? Or runny brown gravy? Or that stuff foodies call gravy that’s really just juice that should still be in the meat but leaked out? Cause if we’re talking about the kind of gravy you get at Whataburger to dunk your chicken strips in, then I’m totally like the Prime Minister of Gravy.

  101. Dear Bloggess,
    First off, I hope you have a wonderful birthday (and that James Garfield gives you a good gift) and that much alcohol is consumed (by you, anyway).
    Second, despite the fact that I believe gravy doesn’t conjure up the same image to my British mind as it does in the US, may I now tell you that if I ever have any gravy in my home (I suppose it might happen one day though I can’t for the life of me think how) I’d more than willingly give you ALL of it because I LOATHE the stuff (in Britain, it’s basically the “juice” (gag) from a meat roast thickened with some evil flour-y stuff (gag gag); not sure what your version includes but I’m sure you can understand my revulsion when an American friend told me she loved “gravy and biscuits” for breakfast – remember, in Britain, we call “biscuits” what you would probably call “cookies”, so combining the two gag gag gag gag gag).
    Third, no, no, no, don’t stop drunk-blogging – life is much more fun that way!
    Happy Birthday once again!

  105. Wishing you plenty of gravy for your birthday!! (which is the same as my mother’s btw – the birthday not the gravy..she makes terrible gravy..which now makes me wonder is she secretly hysterical and a little off center? I hope so because that would make my life awesome)

  106. Regarding your “P.S.”

    I’m technically a conservative and I find you hilarious! 😉

    Happy birthday btw.

  109. Happy Birthday. One question….white gravy or brown gravy?
    I love it that you are linked to religious sites! That is probably better than the poor asshole who was looking for porn by typing in “corn fed girl F***ing” and was lead to my “mommy blog” about laundry,my kids, my dogs, attempting to clean my house and ponies. I just like to use the f word…..

  111. Happy Birthday!! Drunk Blogging is an art form. One must practice it often to perfect it.

    The religious links has me peeing in my pants this morning. I can only imagine what their links are thinking! That’ll serve them right for not paying attention to the WHOLE site and not just one post. Then again, maybe it’ll help some poor religiously oppressed person to lighten up and laugh at life a little. One can hope.

  113. I am intensely pleased that you are not yet dead. Do try to keep it up for at least another year.
    I support your gravy based initiative.

  115. Happy Birthday Jenny! Here’s hoping that Victor picks up on the obvious clues that you want to spend your day wrestling in gravy in your birthday suit so that instead of showering, you can just lick it all off once you’re done. Of course you may want to shower after that anyways because there are likely some *unreachable* areas, and you may risk spending the rest of your day smelling like dried saliva, which has the potential to be a horribly offensive odour.
    Anyways, here’s hoping your gravy and your New Years is filled with lots of gravy, showers and pleasant odours!!

  116. If your starting your own religion, I’m in. We’ll be Bloggesstians. It will be the best religion in the world! Just sayin’

  117. I think your slogan sings too. It’s not an election year, though, is it?

    Hope you have the happiest of birthdays!

  119. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! more gravy, more dead-boar miracles, more cats with six toes and everything in between in 2011

    *because we all die in 2012.

  120. Drinking + blogging = James Garfield Miracle

    That’s something even the lamestream media can’t refudiate.

  123. Hahahahaha! Thanks for the belly laugh! I find the conservative linking hilarious, too.

    Happy birthday & more gravy in 2011!

  124. A whole new group of people to confound and horrify sounds like a great birthday present to me. Although they might like the whole vagina dentata post…helping teens avoid premarital sex through fear of castration. Still trying to work in the gravy. Happiest birthday, Jenny!

  125. No. No. No more gravy. That reminds me too much of an old cartoon that traumatized me, my sister, and my brother when we were kids. And still traumatizes us today.

    It was this dog and cat, and the dog had this scheme where he would look for lost cat ads and turn in the cat for the reward money, and then steal the cat back. Then he would make the cat go get him food, and always say “what – no gravy?” and then smack him.

    The dog was so successful at this scheme that he ends up stuffing himself. The last scenes are of the dog so bloated that he can’t move, in a hospital. The doctors say something about if he eats anything else, he’ll die. The cat comes in, says “this time, we didn’t forget the gravy”, puts a funnel in the dog’s mouth, and proceeds to pour a barrel of gravy down the dog as he gasps “no,no….”

    Aaaagggggh.

  126. When I first read your post, I thought it said more GRAVITY, and I was like, Dude, my boobs are freefalling fast ENOUGH and more gravity would make me fall down EVEN MORE then I already DO…then I reread it and realized it was about GRAVY and was like well, OK, I can get behind THAT. Happy birthday, Mizz Jenny. Have a wonderful, spellbinding, mindblowing, perfect birthday.

  127. They will have to create a new Church because you sure don’t fit into their fan website. The Church of James Garfield sounds good. I sure hope you put this latest church-fest love on your resume. I think it’s hysterical and I’m totally sober.

  128. Drunk blogging = awesome
    Churches linking to your website = kind of scary that your influence is spreading that far and wide.

    I’m also waiting for PETA to pick up on your raw pony comment. Until they do, have a fabulous birthday knowing that you will soon be bathing your arthritic limbs in tubs of gravy.

  130. That is hilarious. The inspirational blog part, I mean. Just wish I could see the faces of the people coming here for inspiration and being bombarded with a vagina dentata post, now *that* would be priceless.
    As for drunk blogging, I’m with David and in fact I *demand* more drunk blogging in 2011.

  131. Happy Birthday, Jenny! Pass the gravy, it’s all gravy, more gravy. Gravy is 2011’s answer to the 60’s groovy . Take that, you stinking hippies! Gravy out!

  132. I agree with Laurie..The Church of James Garfield sounds awesome..he does perform miracles and all.. and it would finally be a church I could walk into without fear of catching on fire :O Totally hilarious… I too am sober..unless you count pain meds.. then I’m snockered.. Happy Happy Birthday beautiful bloggess!! My question is, when you drink and blog- is James Garfield your designated blogger?? Just askin… 😉 Lots of love and birthday wishes.. Here’s to making December 29th “National Bloggess Day” Can I get a Hallelujah from the choir?? <3<3<3

  135. I already thought December was a ridiculously awesome month because my own birthday is this month and Christmas and now ? it just got about a million times cooler. Happy Birthday!

  136. The fact that they tagged you as inspirational is *totally* true, just not the same type of inspiration I think they are looking for.

    Happy birthday to my favorite drunk blogger!

  138. We almost have the same birthday. Which means we’re, like, practically twins! Twins who don’t have the same parents and who are different ages and, you know, weren’t even born on the same day.

    Other than that, TWINS!

    Perfect for my stalking ways.

    Happy birthday, Jenny!

  142. I would love to be a fly on the wall when the religious linkers get into the gravy part of your blog.. course you may have to move again as they will be making a pilgrimage to your home to save your mortal soul.
    Happy Birthday funny lady!

  143. I hope that nobody tries to take the cheap way out and give you the “special combination birthday/christmas present.” As a fellow december birthday, that totally sucks. So, HAPPY STAND-ALONE BIRTHDAY to you!! Also, if the religious wingnuts start hanging out on this site, you can start making gravy images for them to not worship. Ha!

  144. Happy Birthday Jenny! 🙂 I’m from the middle of nowhere east Texas…. There’s always room for gravy!

  145. Not the only one. Don’t stop. More gravy. (and if you put those all together it sounds vaguely suggestive to me, but I might not be normal)

    Just curious if your folks were really happy when you were born because they got an extra tax deduction at the end of that year. My nephew was born on the 30th and his parents were ecstatic when he showed up 41 years ago. Well, his father was ecstatic because of the tax deduction. His mother was ecstatic because she wasn’t in labor any more.

  146. I once tweeted something derogatory about Rick Warren. I got a bunch of conservative Christians following me almost instantaneously. I wasn’t sure if it was because they wanted to keep an eye on my evil ways or if they were just mindlessly following anyone who mentioned Rick Warren.

    They don’t follow me anymore. I guess it was the latter. Which amuses me to no end….

  147. I love that even after an incredibly touching/moving/selfless/intense holiday episode like the James-Garfield-Accidental-Christmas-Miracle you are back to your humble drunk-blogging self… “The Bloggess for Vice Princpal of the Internet in 2011! She promises there will be more gravy…”

  149. Happy birthday, and may you have all the gravy in the world. And all the kitschy taxidermied animals your heart desires.

  151. Happiest of birthdays! And your blog is all kinds of inspirational. I hope you inspire the hell out of every fundie that clicks on through.

  152. Great shout out to Vagina Dentata with the gravy… ha.
    And yay for being able to swear like a sailor, call a stuffed hog head a saint, and STILL have those conservative churches sing your praises. All the more gravy to you, my dear!

  153. Finally, a political platform I can get behind. More gravy in 2011! Amen, sister. And speaking of my behind I have just totally changed the menu for New Year’s Eve. No more roast pork and gravy, I will now serve raw pony and gravy!

    Happy birthday!

  154. Happy Happy Birthday and you are not the only one who finds it amusing that religious sites are linking to you.

  155. Happy belated birthday kiddo. I never knew you had such a love of gravy. There’s a gravy fountain available online. You should ask Victor for one for Christmas next year.

  156. Happy Birthday Jenny !!!!

    Every thing is better when you’re drunk so don’t ever stop 🙂

  159. May I join the crowd and proclaim “More gravy. More drunk blogging.”

    Oh, yeah, Happy Birthday, too.

    And remember, while YOU may be a year older today, I’ll still always be older than you. (And while that statement sounds like I’m drunk, I’m not, just sick-kid-sleep-deprived. Nearly the same thing, but not as much fun.)

  160. JENNY! IT IS ALSO MY BIRTHDAY TODAY.

    Clearly the most awesome folks are born on December 29th. Hope you have a seriously kick-ass birthday. Eat some of your cake for me and I will do the same for you.

    (ps, I adore you and your blog times a millionty. That’s a real number. I know. I’m a teacher.)

  161. Happy Birthday, Jenny! I think that lots of folks linked up to you recently because of your awesomeness of helping others have a great Christmas. And, you gave God the credit. And, even though you teased Santa and his wife, they still came through using you as the agent. I even did a post on my blog about what you were doing. Heart 3. BTW, I am related to a certain Chubby Mommy!

  169. I cannot fathom having extra gravy. I never have enough. I also cannot fathom how my husband & his family will eat roast & mashed potatoes WITHOUT gravy. It’s like they don’t understand that those things are merely vehicles for getting gravy into your piehole. (Or gravyhole.)

  171. I thought I was a little late to comment here seeing as how it’s the 30th here in Australia, but it’s still your birthday in your time so Happy Birthday! (That sounds like I used a time machine to say Happy Birthday. Awesome).
    Also, I make awesome gravy, and would be happy to make you some if you ever come to Oz. I warn you though, people fall in love with me after they eat it. It’s just that good.

  172. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! HELL YES TO MORE GRAVY IN ’11 and HELL YES TO DRUNK BLOGGING!

    Oh and um…by the way…What am I supposed to do about the raw pony?

  175. My best content is when I’ve written drunk.
    In reference to being connected to the Church folk and the Conservatives, that could certainly come in handy when running for office. Especially in Texas. Use it to your advantage girl.

    J-Roll

  176. Happy Birthday to you,
    Happy Birthday to you,
    Happy Birthday dear vagina-talk-abouter-unicorn-and-zombie-talk-abouter-miracle-making-awesome-wife-awesome-mother-continued-source-of-inspiration Jenny,
    Happy Birthday to you.

  178. Well damn, I was going to type out the words to “Happy Birthday” for you, but not only did the commenter before me do it, but her name is elizabeth too. Talk about stealing my thunder, SHEESH (LOL).

    Happy Birthday Jenny!

  182. Happy Birthday! I turned 37 yesterday. Weird. Or not really. Whichever you choose is fine. Hope your birthday was filled with sunshine, moonbeams and vodka (like mine).

  183. Well today is my moms birthday too and she is also a huge fan of more gravy, so I think today is turning out to be the best December 29 yet! I hope you have a fantastic day and drink plenty of what ever you want. I plan on telling my mom the same thing! 🙂

  185. Jesus ran for Diety on the More Gravy Platform. True fact. I think this means you are the Second Coming. (the job comes with all the raw pony you can handle)

    Happy Birthday, JesusJenny!

  186. YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT THE ONLY ONE TO FIND THAT AMUSING!!!!!!

    To quote Jack “I don’t care who you are. That shit is fucking funny!”

    I concur. And I am now saving pennies to get Jack a t-shirt.

    MORE GRAVY!!!

  187. How did you get non-drag Ru Paul to model the shirt? I thought he was busy with his faaaabulous show. Also, the fact that he thinks that the extra gravy in his manboobs is extra awesome. I’m inviting him to Thanksgiving next year if he’s bringing drag queen manboob gravy. One less thing for me to make.

  190. I am a conservative Christian and I like your blog because you have a good heart and are super funny and honest. I work at a television station and see a lot of bad things everyday when I edit the news, so I like to read about someone making a positive impact with a stuffed boar head.

  191. Happy Birthday!
    May the year bring you ponies (not gravy covered ponies, though), more gravy and a cure (or at least much relief from) arthritis. Also, I think it’d be awesome if James Garfield could pull off that third miracle… I’m an ordained minister and would 100% support a James Garfield religious movement!

  192. Everyone needs more gravy. That’s a true statement. Makes perfect sense to me. The inspirational religious folk that are going to land on this and the Vagina Dentata post, makes absolutely no sense, but should prove to be interesting.

    James Garfield – still inspiring everyone everywhere.

  193. So…when can I buy a gravy shirt? Actually, could I put in a request for a nice, comfy gravy hoodie? Thanks.

  194. Happy birthday! Stay blitzed until New Years Day if you please. Read this after 10PM, and I’ll be having DT-grade nightmares of a Presidential ticket which looks suspiciously like Garfield and Caribou Barbie.
    Note to Across the Pond–Biscuits and gravy are from the South, and consist of Irish soda bread cakes and white sauce seasoned lightly with sausage or bacon drippings and black pepper. Not as bad as it sounds.

  195. Okay, I love you forever, and we’re totally twins who were separated at birth because just yesterday I was bragging to people that I had a 4-quart saucepan FULL of home-made gravy. Which rocks, because gravy is a Force For Good, and also its own food group, right?! Also? I’m $%^%$^ allergic to dairy and wheat-intolerant (because I’m an anti-grain-ist asshole, apparently), so pretty much the only time I get good gravy is when I make it myself. So I was totally huddled over the saucepan cackling madly and talking about how my BGC (Blood Gravy Content) was going to be sky-high VERY SOON. And the husband and kids were all shooting me weird looks and quietly edging away from me.

    Happy Birthday, you fabulous madwoman! I shall drink a nice piping hot mug of gravy tomorrow morning in your honor.

  198. I don’t like gravy. Will I be shunned?

    Also, Jesus loved gravy, so those religious folks may well indeed find inspiration on your blog.

    Also, happy birthday. Hope there was more booze than gravy.

  199. Keep drinking and blogging. Please!

    This blog is almost too awesome to exist.

    Happy birthday! And more gravy in 2011!

  200. Thought I’d help out the commenter who mentioned the dog, cat, and gravy cartoon. It is rather disturbing. 🙂 Gotta love Loony Tunes!

  201. I see you have many friends to share the pony gravy with. It serves 345. Happy Birthday!

  203. Ah yes! Don’t forget the Gray-vee! LOVE that cartoon! Exactly what came to my mind. Thumbs up Nicole!

    Hilarious that your blog is now a post of total “inspiration!” Although it’s sooo true! In 2011 (thanks to your blog), I will totally aspire to eat more gravy with my vagina dentata. Wait. Huh?

  204. You should totally send one of these shirts to Wavy Gravy! He’d LOVE one! Check out his organization called SEVA! They do amazing work to help people who are blind in poor countries from cataracts. They’ve helped nearly 3 million people to see again! And they also do great work with Native American communities to fight an epidemic of diabetes. Check them out at http://www.seva.org

    I know he gets mail there, if you wanted to send him a shirt. Their address is 1786 5th Street, Berkeley, CA 94710.

    Keep up the great work! And maybe write up a blog post about Wavy and Seva! They have a really neat thing called Gifts of Service. http://www.seva.org/gifts

  205. you are most certainly not the only one who finds that particular linkage amusing…and HAPPY BIRTHDAY! YAY!

    More gravy for the win! 🙂

  206. Did anyone elses’ mom make gravy out of neck and gizzards??
    Wait.
    What?… Shut up.
    Happy birthday, lady! I’m wearing my birthday suit just for you!

  208. The brilliance of “More Gravy” is the ambiguous positivity of it. Regardless of what you’re thinking about, adding ‘more gravy’ makes it better.
    struggling worker gets a christmas bonus = more gravy
    waitress with an extra ladle for your grits = more gravy
    NFL adding two extra games next year = more gravy
    portstar waiting patiently for a facial = more gravy

  209. mmmm …. gravy … At short attention span can get you into a lot of trouble. Keep on keepin’ on girl! happy birthday!

  211. LMAO about the church people. Reading is fundamental, people. I just wanna see the look on that first person’s face when they realize what they’ve done. ALERT! ALERT!

  212. This is first time here and I have hiccups from laughing too much. I think I just got my new year present, a year full of laughs. Hope U see my comment after the other 208!

  213. OMG…You are a GENIUS! First, I have to say that I adore James Garfield and I LOVE that you’ve had so many hits from the Vatican. That is truly classic. Sainthood surely is imminent.

    And just to clarify…your blog is totally inspiring. I’m inspired everyday by you. However, it may not be the type of “inspriation” that the conservative religious peeps are thinking…but who cares! Please, keep drunk blogging!

    Wishing you a wonderful birthday and lots and lots and lots of gravy in 2011!

  214. I forgot your birthday, but don’t feel bad. I forgot to pay the car insurance and the water bill. Yes, you gotta pay for water, Jenny. This is my parents’ anniversary, so I told Tessa to send them a card. It’s also my First Communion anniversary. How kinky. Why can’t I forget that and remember some good shit?

    Love you Jenny. You helped get me through xmas this year.

  215. Dear Bloggess, you made me google what “vagina dentata” is…following to a wikipedia link to Teeth.
    Now i’ll have nightmares. Thank you.

  219. My mom once made an ENTIRE turkey dinner the day after Thanksgiving because we didn’t have enough leftover gravy…or stuffing…or turkey…you know what? I’m starting to think she just used the gravy as a gateway food…
    Happy belated Birthday!! December=best month of the WHOLE YEAR.

  220. I knew there was a reason I was stuck following you. Damn capricorns. I got the 27th. It’s almost like I’m warming people up for your birthday…washing all the shitty christmasy -birthday ideas people have off on me so you can have an amazing birthday. “Happy Birthmas Cheekymonkey! Lets drink Eggnog on your day!” Not that I’d turn down egg not, unless I spend too much time thinking about HOW you make eggnog, or if there was no booze in it…
    You’re welcome.

    Also that ad on the right side of the page with the little birdies under the big boob. well, why is there a giant boob and pointy nipple on top of chickens? Did I miss something?

  222. I have an Army buddy who always wanted to retire and get a gravy truck….like an ice cream truck, w/ the music and everything – but he’d beat on a pan and yell, “Gravy! Get yer Gravy!” (As far as I know he is still in and hasn’t bought a gravy truck yet.)

  224. Happy Birthday, a day late. I’ve been busy. WORKING. And I missed the whole drunk tweeting/drunk blogging treatise on gravy.

    You can never have enough gravy, by the way. I always buy extra, because who the hell makes their own gravy when you can buy it in a jar from the grocery store?

    Where was I? Oh yeah, busier than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest…

    Those religious conservative types are going to get one hell of an eye opener when they actually read your blog.

    FYI: My husband calls me the conservative hippie. Cuz I kind of am. With one helluva twisted sense of humor and what I think is funny. Need proof? I follow your blog. ‘Nuff said.

  226. So I have a dog named Gravy…he’s cute in that ugly offbeat sorta way…i say his face should be plastered on your shirts!

  227. psssh, the only thing funnier than the religious crazies linking you, is if they were linking me. which will never ever happen, so is now the funniest thing. ever.

  228. I wouldn’t DREAM of giving the seniors (or even many of the middle agers…) in my church your website addy, but I did read a condensed version of the Miracle story at both our Christmas Eve services 🙂

  229. Inspirational? But of course, my dear! “More Gravy” alone has lifted me to a higher plane.

    Have a great 2011. Can’t wait to read about it.

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