UPDATED: The trials and tribulations of Ferris Mewler (self-proclaimed “Fabio of Cats”)

in Just sad, my cat's toes, Random Crap

Obligatory pictures of my cat:

Ferris Mewler: "Rowr."

Ferris  Mewler:  “I am trying to seduce you. Is it working?”

me:  “No. It’s not working. Because I’m married.  And you’re a *cat*.”

Ferris Mewler: “You’ll come around eventually.  I’m like a damn Adonis.”

me: “Please stop this.  You’re making us all uncomfortable.”

Ferris Mewler: “I am the Eric Northman of Cats.  Worship me.”

me: “You’re not allowed to watch True Blood anymore.”

"What the FUCK, lady?"

 

UPDATED:  Several of you are not big vampire fans and are confusing True Blood’s Eric Northman with South Park’s Eric Cartman.  Which is ridiculous, because why would my cat pretend to be a cartoon character?  That’s fucking ludicrous, y’all.

It's sort of uncanny. Plus, Ferris' fangs are real. AND he has six nipples. And one time he got into my rainy-day crafts drawer and was covered in glitter for *weeks*. My cat is totally the next sexy vampire.

Someone get my cat an agent.

206 thoughts on “UPDATED: The trials and tribulations of Ferris Mewler (self-proclaimed “Fabio of Cats”)”

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  4. Wow, he’d get along perfectly with my female husky. (Is she a bitch if she’s spayed? definitely bitchy, but can’t reproduce.) She’s always layin’ around on her back with her legs spread… it’s embarrassing!

  5. Poor Ferris. You should totally get him neuticles, so even though he doesn’t HAVE balls anymore, he’ll still look like he does and the other cats won’t tease him. You know how bad cats tease each other about their lack of testicles!

  7. I remember a 3 year old daughter of a friend after their cat was snipped.
    She got a quizzical look on her face, held both palms up at her sides to indicate a question of grand gravitas and said…
    “Kitty no balls?”
    We laughed for 5 minutes.

  9. my cat (Bailey) just licked my laptop screen…i think she likes what she saw! ME-OWWWW!!

  10. So sweet! Love ferris mewler’s attitude. He is totally the the Eric Northman of Cats… Even without his manliness…

  11. Oh, so it’s not just my cat that is sexually inappropriate then? I think that is a good thing to know.

    I think I’ll start a group for people like us. It will be a lot more fun than other kinds of those groups, because sexually abusive kittens are adorable.

  13. I always think my cat Benjamin Franklin is talking to me with a british accent, sometimes it is like a hardcore rapper as I am pretty sure he has split personality. Seriously, cat’s are think they are hots for sure.

  15. Ooooooh Eric Northman. That man, um, vamp does things to me. Sneaky things.
    If a human and a cat have babies, are they humittens? Or Rabbans?

  17. When I took my cat to get de-balled, I thought he’d be under the weather for a few days. Nope, he bounced up and out of that box right away once we got home, and started chasing the other cat around just like usual. We think the vet took his tonsils by mistake.

  18. Anybody that says neuticles are a good thing has a problem, Laynie. I’m just sayin’.

    And congrats on having a ball-less cat! I always look forward to neuter day!

  22. OMG. This isn’t the 15 year old fake dying cat is it?! Those tweets made my night.

    (Nope. The dying cat is Posey. He lost his testicles many, many years ago. ~ Jenny)

  25. My daughters dog was lying in front of the fan yesterday on her back with her back legs spread…she is for sure a little bitch and also apparently a whore..and she is only 7 months old…and she liked the feel of that fan blowing on her naughty parts. We are going to have problems, I just know it.

  26. A timely post since I just the moment retrieved Hugh Beaumont (aka Jimmy) from the vet for his “pruning”. We’d get him neuticals, but I’m afraid I don’t have the energy for the legal action we’ll have to file after it’s discovered that cat implants are just as dangerous as the ones women use. But with more hair.

  28. If only I could be the peas that lay on Eric Northman. Yummy!

    Poor kitty will live to rue the day again. Viva el gato!

  32. Okay, you are going to probably think I’m crazy and roll around on the floor laughing at me, but I recently found your blog and fell in love with it. I was nominated to post my 7 favorite links by http://www.healthytippingpoint.com and was super excited. I then nominated you. I don’t know what got into me but I think it was the percocet. I know you are like the queen of the blog world and there is no reason whatsoever for you to oblige. But basically , you post your 7 fave links then nominate 4 or 5 people. I just posted mine and I would wet myself if you stopped by, read mine and reposted. I know I sound like a nut job..and its true, I am…but dont let that deter you…it could be your random act of kindness of the year:) Pllllllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssseeeeeeee?

  33. My cat tries to sleep inside our clothes. Its disconcerting to say the least, but sometimes in the winter it kinda feels nice, which makes me even more disturbed. I don’t need two pussies in my skirt, thank you very much, cat.

  34. In the first picture, is he actually rubbing his own stomach? Because that would just be a cliche.

  36. I don’t think I can let my cat read your blog today because he’s having the same surgery soon.

  37. it is indeed disturbing how much that cat reminds me of Eric Northman. Good thing I hate vampires and the shows that love them.

  38. Awesome name. I have decided to name my next cat Meow Zedong .

    Julie
    ilikebeerandbabies.blogspot.com

  40. I know that I post this same comment on many of your post, or at least I think it to myself, and I want you to know that the tone of my comment/thought is total admiration but, seriously, WHO THINKS LIKE THIS????

  42. I think Ferris Mewler would get along famously with my Basset Hound, Whiskey. She lives showing her nether bits. She’s like a basset hound Anna Nicole. Only she’s not drunk, or crazy, or you know… Dead.

  45. My female cats lay spread eagle on the floor at night. At least they know to lay like that off the furniture!

  47. True story: when I rescued my kitty from a life of scavenging scraps from a dumpster outside my college apartment, I thought he had balls. Big swingin’ ones. When I took him to the vet to get him neutered, thinking it would keep him from peeing in my boyfriend’s shoes, the vet cupped them in his hand *very* gently and said, “Well, ma’am. Someone’s beat me to the job.” Turns out a previous owner had neutered him but left the, ahem, sac so that the cat would feel more masculine.

    And did you know that they make silicone testicle implants for neutered pets? Not even joking.

  48. My wife was kind enough to buy frozen peas for me when she had me snipped. Probably because I never posed like that.

  49. That’s one sexy cat. Now I don’t feel so bad about publicizing photos of my mentally handicapped FEMALE dog humping her brother’s pride away.

  52. At first glance I thought the tail was something else and was screaming (in my head) “What the HELL is WRONG with your CAT?!?!?!?!”

    Thanks for that! 🙂

  53. Started reading your blog about a month ago and OMG LOVE it!!!!! Can’t believe you got your cat to be so subdued like that.

  54. Aside from the eyes, he looks just like my late cat Minou did.

    He was never splayed until after I had him fixed – as if to say, “Do you see something missing here? Cause I’ve seen the dog, and I can’t help but feel he’s got something I don’t.” Fuzzy guilt trips are surprisingly easy to take, actually.

  55. An Eric Northman reference… I’ll read your posts just because, but dragging Eric Northman in, well… that just makes it even more perfect. I have an active imagination WRT Eric Northman, using your cat’s ummm position as fuel for my EN fantasy starts my morning off right. A little crack fic I have going about how Eric rocks Sunday nights, or should…http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5173533/21/While_Awaiting_Sunday

  58. Your cat looks like my old cat, Dude (that was his name). But in that picture, he looks more like GOB Bluth. #RIParresteddevelopment

  59. My cat used to finish my martinis when I wasn’t looking, so he was hardly ever in a seductive mood. Doesn’t mead he didn’t like to publicly air his little tommy parts though. Now my greyhound is a completely different story…and she’s got the legs to make it interesting.

  62. Dear Ferris,
    You are so bad ass. I look forward to seeing you in a parade today wearing an oh-so-cute vest surrounded by leaderhosen wearing trampy kitties

  63. Why would someone EVER give their neuticles? I mean, what happens when your cat goes out into the world and the girl cats are all over him, because they want what he’s got going on. And then your cat and his lady friend get together and she finds out that they’re not real and she gets TOTALLY mad and spreads nasty rumours about your cat and makes his life miserable?
    This is how cat self-esteem issues happen.

  65. As soon as you said Eric, I immidiately started noticing a different opinion of Ferris Mewler…suddenly became more attractive.

    I might need a moment thinking about Eric and Alcide now.

  68. We have 3 slut puppies and 4 slut kitties in our household because every damned one of them poses like this. I have NO idea where they picked up that kind of behavior!

    And at first I read Ferris’s comment as “I’m the Eric CARTMAN of Cats” and thought “WTF? Even for Jenny’s house, that’s kinda strange.” But then I realized what he really said and it was all OK.

  69. It is really sexy if you use Eric Northman’s voice in your head, but not so sexy when you use Ferris Bueller’s voice in your head. Just sayin’.

  77. Once again, this is why we love you. Did Bird’s Eye pay you for that product endorsement?

    (No, but THEY TOTALLY SHOULD. ~ Jenny)

  81. I’m glad you labeled the pictures of Eric Northman and Ferris Mewler. Otherwise, there’s no way I would have been able to tell the difference.

  82. AWESOME. My husband and I love True Blood and I love cats (he is allergic, but puts up with our two cats out of love) so this was fantabulous! (Fantastic/Fabulous) 🙂

  86. My female dog is missing a nipple. She is very sensitive about it and would HATE that I just outed her on the internet. But in other news, my male dog totally has nipples ON his penis. He is quite proud of that fact.

  87. I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard as I have since a friend introduced me to your Blogodessness! It started with the iron rooster and now today your “sexy” cat. I too, have a cat (who cares?); her name is Diva and since Harley the Schnauzer came to live with us, I only see a bowl that she empties during the night …maybe she is becoming Sookie to your Eric. Can’t wait for your next post! Hugs from Dunwoody GA.

  89. I want a cat. SO much. And that second picture? He looks like he fully intends to fuck you up. So be careful. I would hate for your shit to get fucked up by the Eric not-Cartman of cats.

  90. I’m happy that you added the picture of Eric. He’s pretty hot and I love to look at him. (Not that your cat isn’t equally, although differently, appealing.)

  91. Good Lord, Eric Northman is freaking hot. Especially since he lost his memory! I just want to hug him and stroke his naive and innocent dead head and make everything better.

  92. Funny stuff. But he’s not doing the leg-lifted junk-lick so he’s not all that sexy.

    Then again, Ferris isn’t doing it either so I think Ferris has got the look down pat.

  93. Oh, thank you, thank you for referencing True Blood instead of Twilight for a change!! My day is made!

    But you know, if he really is a vampire…………….. they’re just gonna grow back!

  94. He may not be using his Mighty Cat Wang to impress YOU. He may be trying to reach your audience, since he knows you blog photos. He is totally clever like that.

  97. Sorry, but NOBODY does Eric Northman better than Eric Northman, especially a naked Eric Northman.

  99. A friend of mine is starring in the next Twilight.

    Which is embarrassing to admit because I actually cannot stand actors.

    But this particular actor will probably make a sexy vampire or werewolf or whatever. I think he’s a bad guy. Which is extra sexy. Or would be if it wasn’t in a poorly written movie about glittery fucking vampires.

  100. I’m one of the not-vampire-fans and confused Eric Northman with Perter North, “The Cumshot Legend”.

  101. Ferris Mewler (who shares a name with my old roommate’s cat) is adorable and he is truly the next Fabio of cats. Eric Northman….*swoon*
    My cat Jin is also terribly showy-offy with his business. Cats are weird.

  102. Ferris is so much cooler than Eric!

    Heheh I love that he got into your craft drawer and glittered himself up. He’s a cat after my heart.

  103. Saw the link and said out load “I really hope she is talking about her cat”. Was glad to see you are being responsible and chopping off his nuts!! Ginny Waesley ,my orange cat sitting between the keyboard and monitor said she is willing to leave her boyfriend, Harry J Potter for Ferris Mewler.

    Love a crazy ,
    Veterinary Technician and Mom to three

  104. Ferris Mewler is so damn sexy he just fixed my internet problems without. ever. trying!

    Since you switched to the new server/host/internetwordIdon’tactuallycareabout, I’ve only been able to see your posts in my reader but without pictures (boo-urns!). I knew you had enough shit to deal with (what with Victor not ‘getting’ Beyonce and all) so I just remained happy with the text.

    Today, I just really, really, really needed to see the pictures of Ferris Mewler channelling Eric Northman. When I clicked on the link, I didn’t get a gnarly 404! Tip of my hat, Ferris, for being so damn sexy even my computer will do whatever it takes to see your picture.

    Me(w)ow!!

  105. Glitter is the herpes of the craft world. For real.

    My cat poses like this but with less bedroom eyes and more I-plan-to-eat-you-while-you-sleep eyes. If there ever were such a thing.

  106. hahahaha This even had my husband laughing. It is pretty hard to be sexier than Eric Northman, but Ferris sooo pulled it off. My cats are no where close to this talented, all they do is lick themselves

  107. Dear Bloggess,

    It has come to my attention that my current squeeze is not yet infatuated with you and your blog. This saddens me to no point because I honestly feel like you are A+++ and everybody should like you, even William Shatner (but I honestly prefer Leonard Nimoy, personally). It has put undue stress on the early beginnings of an awesome relationship. Because of this, it has been my mission to convince him you are amazeballs in all sorts of ways, at all costs, but also because I feel if he does not pay attention to your blog, he will be ill prepared for the zombie apocalypse and I like him too much to die from zombies.

    Btw, instead of being afraid of nuclear wolves, I have devised that you should raise and train the nuclear wolves for the zombie apocalypse, use them instead of fear them! It is after all one of the hobbies I listed for my 10th year reunion, I received much interest in raising and training nuclear wolves, I believe it will be successful.

    Back to the original problem, what should I do to convince the boy of your awesomeness? I’ve tried to bombard his facebook, but it’s looking unsuccessful. I’ve also employed some of my closest Rocky Mountain Rollergirls to persuade him, but he is unafraid. Help!

    Sam aka Frak Attak

    PS, you have a very very loyal following within the Rocky Mountain Rollergirls, this will help you immensely in the zombie apocalypse. We are after all, on skates.

    (He’s in very good company. Victor doesn’t get me either, but he still makes an excellent husband. ~Jenny)

  108. Love Love Love Trueblood and Ferris is a perfect Eric Northman. However, I must say….it would be cool if your cat could be Alcide. He’s by far my favorite eye candy on that show. But that wouldn’t really make sense because Ferris is a CAT and Alcide plays a werewolf. But it would be hilarious to see THAT caption.

    Ferris: “I’m really a cat, but I’m pretending to be a werewolf, because I too have fangs. And 6 nipples. Either way I will seduce you into buying products you don’t really need, and all the while you will be looking at my cat/dog junk. Thanks for playing.”

  109. I’m findingi it a bit disturbing that all these people are commenting about the sexuality of your pussy…I mean CAT! OMG! I have just fallen into the trap of it all …..

    But really the fact that your cat is seducing you…you may want to get out of the house more often. Just a thought.

    And as far as Karin(allpointswhole) My suggestion is you do as she asks and visit her blog and all that. You could be on the Shat’s side of a stalker, I mean blogger, asking you to come to dinner to save their marriage, “what goes around comes around”.

    Wow I may need to become the Advice to Blogger’s kind of like Ann Landers, but not.

  116. Love it. My dog Sophie likes to sit like that. I always tell her to close up shop, be a lady!

  117. “”Neuticle Naturals, a less rigid silicone implant that not only looks natural – it feels natural too.””

    OK people may be crazy enough to want them to look real but wtf they need to feel real too?!!!

  119. Are you sure the cat isn’t actually a shapeshifter? God, if he could shift into Eric…hell…it would take more than frozen peas!

  120. You and your readers are going to simultaneously take pity on me and hate me when I say the following:

    1. I did not get “chopping off balls” from the frozen pea photo. I looked at it quizzically and thought “did she flick him in the nuts?” followed by “did he get giant, swollen blue-balls because she wasn’t falling prey to his seduction tactics?”. It wasn’t until I started reading some of the comments that I understood what was happening. This is where you pity me.

    2. You hate me when I say that I don’t find Eric Northman to be a piece of ass that makes me scream “I GOTTA TAP THAT”. I mean, I’d do him over a hobo (or Bill for that matter)….but something about his teeth being too big for his mouth reminds me of Jim Carey in “Ace Ventura” and that makes me picture Eric being birthed out of a hippo’s butt. Sexy? I think not. It’s also more relevent when he has blood on him, which is like always. Maybe this is all because I’m only in season 2 of the series and haven’t yet seen all his juicy parts??

    Also? My dog lays like that a lot, and I’m pretty sure his penis is the size of your cats head. You can imagine the dialogue that takes place when that thing makes an appearance!

  121. Oh holy crap that update picture is the best thing I’ve seen since…well…since Beyonce showed up at your front door.

  123. Clearly I have missed a step. Ferris Mewler???? What happened to Bob Barker?

  124. Dear Jenny,

    If you make postcards of that first pic. I will buy them, and send them to lots of friends, including you. That way Ferris gets his own funky fanmail.

    😉

    -Tony

    “Never let them see the anvil.” -Wile E. Coyote.

  125. What a great poser! You should totally get your cat into the movies. Or National Geographic. He looks intellectual. Sexy AND smart. You’re one lucky cat owner (and I don’t even LIKE cats.)

  126. To me he’s saying ‘Woman where’s my dinner?’ as he watches whatever inane sporting match in on the box You showed him with those frozen veges! ‘Hear’s your dinner ingrate, and cover yourself up’
    (but I really dislike cats, even more so than husbands)

    Nicole x

  127. I have been avoiding True Blood. Only because I know I’m going to like it and I have too many addictions as it is.

    Poor Ferris Mewler is going to become Kitty Noballs. Well, you could always keep them and dip them in glitter…

    Where in the HELL did my brain just go?!? *backs out slowly* That was off the deep end for even me. Yikes!

  128. He just looks like he’s thinking “What’s up bitches?”

    @KidLit-they would make wonderful Christmas ornaments covered in glitter. Try explaining that to your kid though. Could get interesting.

  129. This is why I avoid the show. Eric Northman was way hotter in the description in the novels.

  130. Cats like Ferris are why the world will have kabunnies one day. He looks like he’s not too picky about which species is standing in front of him when he’s in the mood.

  131. I’m astounded that your blog is so successful… and that I’m totally glued to my seat waiting for more. I hate/love you. And will kill/hug you someday.

  132. You are not alone LoonyBin – I was also leaning towards the blue ball theory.

  134. HAHAHAH Awesome!!! I’m totally sharing this on my website since we have a huge True Blood following.
    THANK YOU for making my day brighter and brighter!

  135. I recently read “American Gods” and I’m pretty sure that at one point, the lead character fucks a cat. So Ferris has that going for him. Or something. I’m going to go gouge my eyes out now. And bleach my brain.

    Not that it helped much the last time…

  136. I love how it was important to clarify that you were using those particular frozen vegetables only because you were out of the obviously far-superior frozen peas. That right there is attention to detail.

  137. I’m sorry…I’m just totally distracted by the fact that your leather couch and rug look almost exactly like mine. What were we talking about? Something to do with a sexy, sparkly vampire cat?

  138. I wish I knew how to put Ferris’ pic in my phone, so that the next time some douchebag texts me a photo of his genitals (and yes, i’m 46 and this actually happens)(just stay married, y’all, you do NOT want to be on the dating scene these days….) i could text Ferris’ pic back with a note: “This is how you look, except with less hair and more asshole. Go away.”

  140. We have been calling our cat, Max, a slut ever since we got him. He will climb up and paw at me until I let him on my lap and then drop all 20 pounds of himself onto me and try to nurse through my shirt. This behavior disturbs me. And he’s neutered. I am thinking he didn’t get enough Mommy lovin when he was a kitten, since we adopted him as an adult.

    Whatever, I don’t have anything for him. My kids are all teenagers and I keep trying to explain that, but he’s dumb as a box of rocks and won’t listen.

    Chelle

  141. He kind of reminds me of that fat old balding guy that hangs out in night clubs. You know the one. Every night club has one. The one that’s greasy and disgusting, but for some reason completely believes that all the twenty-something could-be-models want his body. Ferris Mewler is like one step above that. But somehow cuter. Is it the fur? Or the Bird’s Eye?

  143. Well, let’s hope Ferris Mewler is not like Bob the cat in the Southern Vampire mystery/Sookie Stackhouse books that True Blood is based on. He’ll be one pissed off guy if he ever gets changed back to his real human form. :/

    And I was just re-admiring the Rolling Stone cover of Eric and Bill last night….*drool*

  144. OMG. As SOON as I saw the first pic, I thought that he looked JUST LIKE Eric. Didn’t even need to see a side by side. And, then when I saw where you were going with it, I was all – wtf? WHY is she in my head?

  145. I just got a cat. He only has three legs, which makes some people laugh at him, but as far as I’m concerned, he’s the biggest badass I’ve ever known.

  146. bahahahaha, this is totally my favourite post EVER!! Ferris totally brings new appeal to frozen veges 🙂

  148. Wow. Yeah Farris Mewler is definitely pulling off that Eric Northman way better then Alexander Skarsgard is.

    And if Farris is pulling off the whole vampire seductive look this well, and can rock the glitter look too, What’s-his-face from Twilight better watch his back.

  152. Poor Ferris. You’ve unceremoniously (or WAS there a ceremony & you didn’t tell us. Perhaps a sacrifice involving a 5 foot metal chicken?) lopped off his balls. And while you’re kind enough to boast about his excess nippleage, you probably haven’t told him that they’re purely ornamental. That poor cat is in for years of therapy…

    You’re a bad mother.

  154. Maybe he thought you’d be so impressed with his balls, you’d let him keep them. Poor Ferris. Rejected AND neutered.

  155. Could you get me the name of Ferris’s personal trainer? He’s so svelt. Mylo Richardson (the feline that we have captured for our own entertainment and sick pleasure) has become a bit of a fat ass.

    Oh forget it… can we just trade cats?

  156. Your cat is hella pimp. I wish that mine had half the swagger that Ferris does. (Maybe I would like him more if he did.)

  158. New follower…you’ve heard it before, but I’m saying it because I like to say things. Lots of things. You’re fucking hilarious…jus’ sayin’.

  160. One morning, late last year, I woke up to find my female kitten dragging herself towards me in a rather odd manner. I jumped out of bed and called the vet straightaway, yelling ‘MY CAT’S BROKEN HER BACK, OH MY GOD’.

    The vet casually replied ‘nah, she’s come into heat for the 1st time, a little early for her age, you need to get her neutered as soon as it’s over’.

    Several days of odd and extremely inappropriate behaviour ensued – including my kitten backing up to me and literally begging to be *ahem* relieved and more seductive crawling, a little like some ho-stripper with bills tucked into her panties.

    I was appaled, and quite frankly, I felt violated.

    By my cat.

  161. Hahaha this is great. Cat’s are awesome because they let you do whatever the fuck you want to them. My cat can pretty much be equated to a pile of sand that sometimes cries for food, and there have been many occasion that I have been tempted to tease him just… because I can and he’s fat. Ferris Mewler is super cute, too, so he seems to have that quality over my cat.

  162. I’ve been away for a few days. What’s up with Ferris?

    Are you getting him fixed or did someone kick him in that very special part of a male cat’s body?

  163. You are right. He DOES do Eric better than Eric. Perhaps it’s Eric whose emulating Ferris Mewler, not the other way around. Pondersome.

  165. Cat billboard is possibly the best idea ever. You should sell a link to a site and use their ad image as a censor bar.

  167. whenever our cat (Rasputin) knocks over something of the wife’s things I say “good job buddy get her back for her having them taking your Olsen Twins off.

    Also I know a girl who stopped seeing a dude because when she talked about Eric Northman he’d confuse him with cartman.

  168. This is why I don’t have a cat. They scare the fuck out of me and I don’t want some hairy ass laying on my face while I’m trying to sleep. You think they’re cuddling. I think they’re trying to suffocate you. Watch your backs, cat people!

  169. Pass me that bag of frozen nibblets and gibblets when Seksi Boy is done- we just spent the day at the vet finding out our cats have the diabetes and CRF. My cats may need an agent and a Meow Mix gig to cover their health care after all of this!

  170. “Ha Ha, Posey, I’m going to get tutored!”

    All you youngsters can google The Far Side if you don’t get that.

    Also, Ninja Mike disturbs me.

  171. My favorite part of the internet? No matter where you go, there’s always cats.

    Thanks for keeping the cat quota up!

  172. Your posts always send me into fits of laughter, but when I saw the Eric Northman comparison pic I almost did a spit-take all over my computer screen.

    Separately, I have never seen a sexier cat.

  173. I don’t know. Aside from the fact that the chances of your cat ever doing the laundry or washing the dishes are extremely low – you have to counterbalance this with the fact that I’ve never met a cat who snores as loudly as my husband, nor would a cat eat all but two little pieces of cereal and then put the for-all-intensive-purposes empty cereal box back on the shelf for me to find later….I digress…. In any case, give your cat my number. We could hang out.

  174. I read Eric Cartman as Eric Catwoman and was really confused for a second and now I just have a vision of an Anne Hathaway / Eric Cartman hyrbid that’s going to land me in therapy.

  175. I just cannot believe that you cat let you plop a freezing cold bag of veggies on his nutsicles and then was like “yeah, what? Just take the damn picture, sexy.” My cat would be climbing the ceiling if I did that to him!

  177. Um, Julie? It was Eric Northman, not Carman.

    BIG difference. Really. Major difference. The one is a wanna-be gangster with delusions of greatness. The other will mess you up for real – and he generally won’t even warn you first. Woman want the second one, and men aspire to be him.

    (Some of us already are, and laugh evilly, as we consider various methods to make you blush. Hard to choose just one, you know. You girls blush so easily.)

    I used to have a cat. I don’t anymore – too much competition for the couch.

    (Wow. That totally sounded like something Cartman would say. I take it back.)

  178. It’s twisted and wrong, but I’m a little turned on by Ferris.

  180. OMG! I have tears running down my face from laughing! TY! I needed that.

  181. hahahaha i LOVE your blog! and on a compeatly unrelated note: about the whole zombies vs. unicorns issue, have you ever considered zombies who ride unicorns? it’s like twice the threat IN ONE! or bears with chainsaw arms…

  182. I’m very impressed with your cat’s poses…he’s extremely photogenic. If he doesn’t get discovered from this post, something is very wrong.

  183. Hope Ferris is feeling well today. A vet will tell you that cat neuters are very simple, but I’m guessing that cats will tell you otherwise.

  185. I have to have sympathy for poor Ferris Mewler, I mean really. All he wanted was a day off. Yeah he got one, but having to spend it sprawled on the couch with a bag of frozen vegetables is just NOT all that and a bag of chip! Where is the Sexy Kitty Nurse Strip-O-Gram? Will his buddy Cameowmeran come by and offer some of HIS meds ? SAVE FERRIS!

  186. Just the name Ferris Mewler alone is awesome! I freaking love your blog! You always cheer me up.

  188. Now I have to crack up every time I eat Steamfresh. And then I have to ‘splain it by saying ‘there’s this cat…’ and everyone will think I mixed meds…well done Jenny.

  189. OMG that is so funny. Love your cat!!! Very Eric like. His name is great too.

  190. You were right not using the peas, or just damn lucky. Placing frozen peas on a male cat’s furry groin could traumatize him for life. Remember a cat’s brain is literal. They are unable to recognize their own image in a mirror. That is sometimes hard for me too, but… So put on his shoes (I assume you have little booties for him, maybe made of chinchilla fur). Every day of your life you look down and see two nice sized furry balls. All of a sudden you look down to see a massive cluster of tiny green balls…then your’s start to freeze. Yikes!

  193. The mention of glitter on a cat (and knowing how cats groom themselves) reminds me of a George Carlin bit:

    “Or some times at Christmas, they’ll eat some tinsel and TAKE A SHINY SHIT! ‘Wow, look mom, can we hang it on the tree?'”

  196. Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Iron Man, Spiderman, Flash, Green Lantern, Green Hornet, Fantastic 4, Hellboy, X-Men, etc. – ALL cartoon characters (except that etc. guy) that a lot of people have pretended to be, often for big money. If Ferris wants to pretend to be Eric Cartman, why can’t he indulge in his own flights of fantasy?

  197. I’m pretty sure vampires can’t sire children either, so Ferris is just that much more accurate.

  199. I’m disturbed, but only for the reason that I thought Ferris Mewler was a girl up until now. Shocking way to find out the truth!

  201. My sister has a bunch of funny cat pictures like these. She calls them “Sexy Cat Pics”! Gotta love cats and their funny poses!

  204. I died laughing at this post. I love True Blood and Eric Northman is HOT! And my 12 week old kitten is named Sookie Stackhouse. Too bad you got him fixed or I could hook her up with the Eric Northman of cats! Hysterical.

  206. Just adopted a kitten 2 days ago and asked the family if I could call him Ferris Mewler. Then it occurred to me to google to see how original my pun was. C’est la vie, huh?

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