No one makes cards for this. But they should.

in important stuff, mixing medications, more than meets the eye, Posts that will get me hate mail, Random Crap

Conversation I just had with Victor:

Victor:  What the hell are you doing?

me:  I’m watching Scandinavian horror movies.

Victor:  I see that.  Don’t you have work to do?

me:  Um…this is awkward.  It’s National Mental Illness Week?  I’m guessing this means you forgot to get me a card.

Victor:  What the hell is wrong with you?

me:  Um…I have mental illness.  Remember?  And this is National Mental Illness Week, so I’m taking the week off since it’s a recognized holiday.   It’s like Rosh Hashana, but for crazy people.

Victor:   Mental Illness Week is no holiday.

me:  Well the other 51 weeks are no picnic either.  And that’s why you have to really force yourself to celebrate the one week when people give you gifts and cards for being kinda fucked-up.  Or, at least, they should.  But then everyone forgets, and that’s depressing, and then you have to watch Scandinavian horror films to distract yourself from the lack of “YOU ARE THE BEST KIND OF FUCKED UP” cards in your mailbox.

Victor:  Wow.  It’s like this holiday was made for you.

me:  IT IS MADE FOR ME.  THAT’S WHAT MAKES IT SO AWESOME.

Victor:  I was going to say “baffling.”

me:  It’s both.  Which is what makes it even more amazing.  Even the holiday is bipolar.

Victor:  I’m going to go hide in my office now.

me:  Don’t stay in there too long.  I got a pinata to hang from the ceiling fan.

Victor:  Is it filled with prozac?

me:  No.  Because that would be illegal.  Plus, we’d end up with drugs knocked under the couch and then all the cats would all from drug allergies and overdoses.  Also, you can’t really make those jokes.  Those are our jokes.  It’s in our charter.

Then Victor left.  Probably to buy me an apology cake.

PS.  Happy Mental Illness Awareness Week from me.  To celebrate, take the rest of the week off.  Also, you can take a free, online screening here.  I just did all of the tests and it told me I have depression and anxiety disorder.  Which I do.  It’s like a Magic 8 Ball that actually works.

PPS.  They don’t actually make cards that say “Happy Mental Illness Awareness Week!” but they should.  I just made one for my store, but you might not get it before the end of the week, so I’m putting it here if you want to print it out for free.  Because awareness is half the battle.  The other half of the battle is getting people to help you hang up pinatas for holidays that no one recognizes.

248 thoughts on “No one makes cards for this. But they should.”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I think that instead of giving the mentally ill a card you should give them an expired bus transfer, 2 buttons, a bottle cap, a feather, and a half stick of gum. After all, it’s what they would give to you, right?

  3. Jenny, I love you. Seriously. I’ve suffered from depression for most of my life, and sometimes I feel like no one gets it. But you do.
    That’s why I’m thankful for you. And the drugs, they help. But mostly you.

  4. I went to the website to screen myself, but it requires registration and a keyword. I already tried “batshit crazy” – it doesn’t work. On a happier note, you will probably sell a million of those cards and I hope you do!

    Try it again now. I think I had the wrong link. ~ Jenny

  5. Well, Jenny, let me just say that you are the best kind of fucked up! And obviously much more witty than I am.

  8. Have I ever told you you’re my HEEEEERRRRROOOOOO…….

    In all seriousness? I feel like you would understand me. I’m socially awkward. I have a hard time in crowds. I get depressed easily. Prone to panic attacks… it’s just a big ball of not fun some days.

    Your blog cheers me up.

  11. We need an awareness ribbon. But, what color is crazy?

    (I suffer from anxiety and depression as well. It sucks sweaty monkey balls.)

  12. YOU ARE THE BEST KIND OF FUCKED UP
    Might just be one of the sweetest, most authentic compliments in the world.

  15. @dogsondrugs….that half stick of gum has to be well and truly chewed otherwise it doesn’t count.
    Now where is my liptstick…must look zoosh for that screening.

  16. Ohhhh…*SOB* I think you already know I’m mentally ill from my blog and comments and emails.

    And the fact that I just broke up with my therapist last night but he BEGGED ME TO COME BACK! That’s right, I need your cards, big time, girrrrrllllllll.

  20. Victor is a genius… does he know it? “Mental Illness Week is no holiday” … glad you set him straight! And it should be a holiday… being crazy is exhausting 😛

  21. I’m buying them for my entire family.

    It’s my dream to someday have a blog category called “posts that will get me hate mail.” Is that weird?

  23. You’re watching Trollhunter on Netflix aren’t you?

    Love..that..movie! (as one could probably see on my Twitter feed, FB page, and about a bazillion texts I just fired off in the past 10 minutes.)

    Mental health issues suck. A cure mightbe nice.

    (I’M TOTALLY WATCHING TROLLHUNTER. ~ Jenny)

  24. I love you. Thanks for spreading the awareness. Off to celebrate 🙂
    Happy MID!

  25. You should have posted the link to the cards at least a month in advance. Now it is impossible to get the cards sent out in time. Although this will give me plenty of time to get them out next year–provided we still have a post office functioning at this time next year.

  26. Somewhere, somehow, there is a card for everything. Like the other day I bought a “You’re Welcome” card, just in case I ever get a “Thank You” card I’ll be able to return the sentiment.

  27. I’m definitely taking that screening. I can’t wait to find out what is actually wrong with me. Is is possible that my kids make so happy and depressed? They are the true cause of bipolar disorder.

  28. it was a bitter sweet day when i realized I was only half as fucked up as they originally accused me of being

    GAD? check!
    OCD? check!
    Depression? Check!

    Bipolar? Check… wait.. uncheck… oh fuck… we screwed up. Turns out you have celiacs and severe malnurishment and uhhh that can mimic bipolar soooo unhhh maybe we shouldnt have thrown enough anti psychotics to take a baby elephant down at you. So um, yeah… you are going to have some bitchin withdrawal and that weird kicking thing you are doing…. that might be permanent… oh fuck.. um.. yeah HERE! Have some more xanax!

    I celebrated / mourned by tearng up the bills for thousand dollars of copays I owed and screaming VAGINA in his face because apparently I somehow landed the one doctor who couldnt bear to utter the words ‘monthly cycle’ or period

  29. I used to be nine kinds of bat shit crazy and then I realized that we are all a little bit off and there is nothing wrong with that and we sure don’t need a cure for it.

    P.S. Don’t take those online tests … they will make you crazy!

  31. We’re making cupcakes with Cymbalta sprinkles over here to celebrate. Swing by and have one!

    Were you watching “Let the Right One In” or “Dead Snow” or something even better?

  32. And I thought it was interesting that the 8th was national stare at the moon day.

    But, now that I think about it, I guess that kind of falls into the mental illness category.

  33. Thank you for being just about the best person I know.

    I’m so fucked up, I’m going to buy that card for myself.

  36. Oh my gosh. Yes. I love you and love your posts because they never fail to make me burst out laughing while sitting at my desk…which today happens to be in a Neurosurgery clinic. Fitting for today. Happy Mental Illness week to you, too!
    Much love,
    B

  37. Jenny,

    As someone who spent an hour yesterday at her therapist’s crying her eyes out, I could certainly use this card.

    Mental Illness sucks, no literally, it sucks the life right out of you through your ears. You and your blog posts, both the funny and the touching, have made this recent bout of crippling depression a little better and easier to get through. You have kept me laughing, and I have said to myself more than once, ” If this magnificent person is depressed, then maybe there is something that can be a little awesome about being broken.” YOU are SO the best kind of fucked up, and I thank you for it and for sharing it with us, both broken and non.

  40. mwahahahaha!

    Here’s a lovely scandanavian film courtesy Martin Short & SCTV:

  41. Jenny,
    I run a small Not for Profit company that makes greeting cards for deployed soldiers. I also sell said cards online and at fairs and shit to raise money for postage. I do infact have a ” PTSD Blows” a “Look at What We’ve Made it Through” and a “Suck it up, Sally” card for this week (and National Depression Awareness Week) 🙂
    Were I to know where to mail your card, you would have gotten one 🙂
    Dani at Zombie Quake Crafts

  42. Jenny, you ARE the best kind of fucked up! And you make perfect sense to me. I’m taking your advice, not only because I have mental illness (BPI) but because I’m sick as a dog with bronchitis (thank you, Enbrel!). -Colleen xo

  43. I love this and will totally order these cards and give one to anyone I know who needs it. But the first one will go on my bulletin board at my desk, because that’s a reminder that I think is good for more than 1 week out of the year.

  45. I’m calling my boss, as we speak, to let her know about this “happy mental illness week”-thingy. It was about time she knew about why my moodswings do occur, anyhow… and also, it’s completely justified that I should take the rest of the week of. Because I live in Belgium. That’s like the home of the mentally ill and depressed. Merely for just living here.

    I could use a card now…

  46. Wait. Are you saying you didn’t get the card I sent? Because I totally mailed it. At least I think I did… I remember doing it. I think. Twitch. THEY must have stolen it!!!

  47. What a day for this. You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. Thanks for the laugh, need it.

  49. NOW you tell me!?!?!? It’s THURSDAY for fuck’s sake & I’ve wasted 4 days working instead of dicking around on my computer & watching bad movies on Netflix. *SIGH*. At least I know for next year…

  50. “so I’m putting it here if you want to print it out for free.” now I’m really depressed cuz I couldn’t print a full size version from the link…sad.

  52. I fucking love this card! I think I might send myself one. BTW – check out my blog for a picture I think you might like of a cat with 2 faces…

  53. Took the online screening test, it told me I have depression (knew that), anxiety (knew that) and bipolar dissorder…. wait, I don’t have bipolar, do i? ummm…..

    P.S. I love you, you are hilarious!!!

  54. Your posts actually make my husband laugh and that’s not easy. I think he pities Victor. EVERY day is national bipolar day around here – October 6th, seriously, is National Bipolar Day. Tomorrow will be National Watch the Deer in the Field Behind You Reproduce Day. Every day is something, but EVERY day in this house is bipolar day…because bipolar is 24/7, baby.

    Thank you for being you and for being the BEST kind of fucked up. You have no idea how much good you do for ALL people.

    Chelle

  55. The invisible illnesses are the worst. Not only are they bad, but you can’t quite figure out where to stab them!

    Seriously, thanks for the reminder that this is “our week.” Because people like us need a week. Or another lorazepam. This week? It happens to be both 🙂

  56. I wish I’d known about this on Monday, I’ve already accomplished too much for it to count as a holiday week!

    Thanks for the card, it’s the best one I’ve ever received!

  57. You ought to do what I do. I work in mental health hospital. EVERY DAY is mental illness awareness week!! I’m deciding whether or not to print that card off for everyone of my patients… Would they see that as a good thing or a bad thing?

    One thing I do know is that I am officially overweight from all the celebratory cake we eat to keep us aware.

  58. You weren’t watching “Rare Exports” were you? I think its Scandinavian…

    Regardless, I love your particular brand of fucked up…Happy MI week!

  59. You need a ‘Worse Kind of Fuck up” too,for when your bipolar son calls and tells
    you that his whole family are shit,not the shits,but just shit.

  60. My answers show that I am suffering from depression and possibly bipolar disorder. It is highly recommended that I receive profession bipolar screening. It has also been determined that “You are strongly recommended to see a clinician or mental health professional immediately for a complete evaluation. If you have thoughts of harming yourself or others, dial ‘911’ or go immediately to the nearest hospital Emergency Room for an evaluation.”

    Well, DUH. I didn’t need an evaluation to tell me those things. That’s why I am only allowed to use knives with supervision.

    HAPPY MENTAL ILLNESS WEEK!

  62. My friends and I would totally help you get that pinata up and bust that bitch wide open 😀 Beating things is good for anxiety disorder, which I haz.

    Victor could do with some Mental Health sensitivity training 😉 Tho that prozac pinata has potential in controlled environs.

    Happy MIAW to one of the most Awesomely Fucked UP ladies I’ve had to pleasure to stalk vicariously through the interwebz 😀

    Shawna

  64. I laughed so hard my tinfoil helmet fell off. Then I told the Amish gnome that lives in my closet all about you. He’s going to follow you on twitter as soon as the lambs stop screaming.

  65. Now THIS is the kind of card I’d like to receive! Maybe I should send this link to all my friends and tell them to send this card to me . . . but then I might be accused of having narcissistic personality disorder. I could send it to myself, but that’s sort of like talking to yourself, although I guess it wouldn’t be considered multiple personality disorder unless I sent myself a card under a different name, forgot that I sent it to myself, then sent myself-under-a-different-name a thank you note for the card . . . then again it could be early onset Alzheimer’s . . .

    Now I’m confused, and even more depressed . . . I guess I’ll just go ahead and send a card to myself to cheer myself up.

  66. Generalized Anxiety Disorder in the house! According to the quiz. But I think as long as my mom is more generally anxietied than me, I’m ok. And I just wrote a blog post about worrying about things. I didn’t know it was National Mental Illness week. I guess if you’re crazy it’s like you just know. This would also explain why I haven’t gotten anything done this week, I was celebrating and didn’t realize it.

    And “you are the best kind of fucked up” is the best kind of comfort.

  70. LOVE IT! True story, just the other day I was brainstorming greeting cards for underappreciated holidays, and I came up with at least a dozen ideas for “National Frottage Day”. (Which in hindsight was kind of a waste of time, seeing as there is no such thing as National Frottage Day.)

  71. Excellent. A whole week for me and my girlfriends! Clearly we need to change our annual girls weekend to closer to this week. Oh, and thanks for already putting this on Pinterest. Pinning it myself might have been too much for me today. It’s been one of those weeks (like a few commenters above, I have been squandering my special week away working. Ugh.

  73. Thank you for being so fucked up that you realized this was a monumental holiday occasion, those of us slightly less fucked up totally blew it off. This is why we worship you, because you care…

  74. I tried to take the screening test but they had no entry for Canada. Guess we Canucks are a whole other kind of Crazy that they just don’t want to deal with.

  76. I guess I’m late to the party but I didn’t know you battle with mental illness…or as I like to call it in my house mental fucking illness. I am about to publish a post about Bipolar Disorder and I’m hesitating like crazy (pun intended) mostly because I’ve never told anyone that “we” deal with it over here (my husband and I…he likes to share the wealth). One of these days I’ll press “Publish”. Probably soon. Not because I’m being brave but because I ran out of shit to blog about. That’s admirable too, right?

  77. I went for a flu jab, which takes all of 30 seconds, and took the rest of the day off, does that count. I also apparently put the coffe in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard so my wife doesn’t know whether I am going nuts or senile.

    There’s also a note on a small bottle I was handed at the doctors today, the note wasn’t from the doctor, it was from the wife, It said, “pee in the bottle, not the fridge”!!!

  79. What does the Pinata look like, and what happened to the little “~” thing that goes over it?
    And what is IN the pinata?
    I am exhausted thinking about these things.

  81. You know what? I’m going to make myself a card now. And imaginary cake (because one of the reasons I should totally be celebrated is an eating disorder).

  82. When I first seen the pic on facebook — I thought it said, you are the best kind of underwear. i think you should totally make a card for that too.

  83. You know – you ARE Jenny – YOU are the best kind of fucked up! And as someone who deeply loves someone who is also the best kind of fucked up – Victor! GO GET A CAKE!!!!!!!!

  86. Officially I’ve received training to not find this amusing (really!) In fact merely saying “nutball” or “crazy” or “batshit out of his mind fucking loony toons” is bad and will apparently lower my empathy for said nutballs, er, I mean people with mental illnesses such as my wife and to a lesser degree myself. Thus officially I am aghast at this blog.

    Unofficially I think it’s hilarious and will be printing that card out to share with many people. Just don’t tell anyone or else I’ll have to go through more deprogramming. That was boring as shit, though the PTSD guy was somewhat interesting in the “If I say the wrong thing he might kill us all!” way. I do have to admit I was tempted to scream “Incoming!” and toss him a firearm just to liven up the day.

  88. Really Victor? Not even a cupcake? Jenny, I feel your pain and your anxiety disorder and most probably depression too. I am the BEST kind of fucked up and so am I. Happy Mental Awareness week from one nut to the other. Love you, Laurie F.

  89. As a psychologist, cannot believe what an asshole I am to have not been more more prepared. And currently not writing notes so that I can read your blog – fail #2. I’d ask for a bulk discount for next year, but then I remembered that giving a gift would violate NCAA extra benefits rules. Ah, crazy athletes…..nothing like having your mental health issues show up for the public’s scrutiny, and not being allowed a card to celebrate it.

  92. Happy Mental Awareness Week! You ARE the best kind of fucked up!

    Isn’t it a little unfair that the chronically fucked up only get a week and yoga gets a whole month?

  93. I will take 6 cards, and two pinatas. This would make my year. How is it that you and Victor have almost the same conversations that I have with the phubster? Does he also do the incredulous look of utter disbelief? They are so lucky to have us in their lives.

  95. #1. I knew there was a good reason I have been sitting on my asset all week
    #2. I totally hang piñatas, with little or no provocation
    #3. Merry Mental Illness To You, a holiday best shared with the ones you love, and who love you too

  97. Happy Birthday to me! I was so hoping you’d post today and you didn’t let me down. And it’s a post about mental illness! Which I have! So it’s a birthday present and a “you’re not alone” all wrapped up together. Awesomeness.

  99. I love how Mental Illness Week comes just a few weeks before all of the family holidays.

  100. I’ll see your depression and anxiety disorder and raise you post traumatic stress disorder…except you can go on being the awesome spokesperson and I’ll just return to my fetal position in the corner, thanks.

  102. Every day is Mental Illness Day at my house.

    But seriously, thank you for bringing attention to this. I’ve always been so alone in my depression and anxiety…moreover, in being unapologetic for who I am. I like that you’ve made it cool. Be who you are.

  104. Husband says he doesn’t need a holiday to remind him I have a mental illness, and thinks he’s the one who deserves a card.

  107. I would totally buy you a card if Hallmark made one for this very special week. I imagine it would be right next to the sorry that your mother-in-law is such a bitch section, which people would be able to buy for me. If they had that section. And if she was still alive.

  108. I guess I’ll have to print a couple of these off for my husband. One for when I get home and one for when his mood changes and he forgets I gave him one already. Maybe one for tomorrow morning, too, just to play it safe.
    You know, though…”Mental Illness” is soooo Victorian. So I feel we either need to be celebrating this in steampunk fashion OR we need to change the term.

  109. 🙂 First time comment here! (thought not a first time reader) I just had to say that yes, you totally are the best kind of fucked up!

    And, I need about a dozen of these cards, since I surround myself with people just as fucked up as myself.
    And my boyfriend is getting this lecture when I get home that today is *my* day, and that’s why I skipped class. I didn’t know it then, but I was celebrating preemptively.
    Oh, and the screening was on the mark. Bipolar and Anxiety here. A lovely mix of cocktails necessary. That I’m almost out of. Oh, yes. We won’t go into that. However, if anyone is from the nice state of WA and has a recommendation for someone that does sliding scale for a poor second-time student without insurance, let me know 🙂 <—shameless plug.

  110. How I long to be in your home just once to hear one of these conversations. But I fear it might freak me out if you two didn’t look exactly like I have you pictured in my head…which is very lovely and crazy, of course. Maybe a pinata of hand-mitts!

  111. When I got to the end of that free online screening, the results came up. All the screen said was:

    OH. MY. GOD.

    #truestory

  112. I really, really, REALLY need that card! Actually, I probably need about a dozen of them to share with a few folks I know.

    I’d go take the test, but at this point in the game, I really don’t need to hear that I’m more screwed up than I already know. So I’ll wait until life calms down a little and I’m in a better spot to find out just how crazy I really am.

  114. The only thing that could possibly make this better is that that Mental Illness week conincides with Feral Hog Month in Texas. So, you should be thrilled to know that you can celebrate by going hog wild
    and chase around pigs without anyone batting an eye.

    Or, perhaps you could take your prozac filled pinata outside and perform a public service and rid your state of wild hogs in the process of celebrating the holday!

    And, if you don’t believe me… here’s the proof.: http://www.agr.state.tx.us/AgricultureToday/story_render/0,1541,1848_41453_0_0,00.html?channelId=41453

  115. I recently weaned myself of my depression medication because my husband and I want to try to have a baby soon. Then I left my job of 11 years, got a new job, started a new semester at school, moved and made my current job harder. My stress level kind of skyrocketed. I just took the test from a local counseling centre and it said I had a major depressive episode and to seek help! I am still learning to deal with my depression without the meds, but I am glad that even though I had (or evidently I am currently having) an episode I am able to cope a lot better than I would have a year or two ago. Your blog is a major help in keeping it together- I know I am not alone and your candid and funny words about mental illness always make me feel a little better.

  116. I am not only printing out this card to hang on my desk but I plan on giving it year round to the best people I know because everyone needs to be told that they are the best kind of fucked up every now and then. If Victor didn’t buy you a cake you can share mine. BYO fork.

  117. First of all, there are wayyyy too many Dani’s posting comments. Some of you need to leave. Also? I was going to take the test, but then I looked at the map (click on the state you live in) and since I just moved here, I have no idea which one of those freaking tiny little states are smashed together on the east coast is New York.
    That’s why I need to go back to California… it’s easy to find on a map.

    So now I’m depressed AND stupid.

    I’m going to send myself a card.

  118. Happy MIAW, you are SO the best at being mentally ill. And you make me want to be mentally ill. Er, more mentally ill?
    Don’t worry, for Mental Illness Awareness Week I got myself…an appointment with a therapist!

  119. You left a word out. “The cats will all…” what? Unless that is part of your cray cray, then I love it.

  120. You never cease to brighten up my dad with your new blogs. It makes me sad when I check for a new one and it’s the same one I’ve read 15 times. Thank you for blogging about shit that the rest of us constantly think. You rock!!!!!!!!!!

  121. I’m another representitive of the GAD club! With social anxiety tendencies! Wheeeeee! Just went back on my meds and am waiting for them to kick in so I can crawl completely out of the hole. Mental Illness awareness rocks. It is easy to tell your co-workers that you can’t come to work because you have the flu or something. Not so much to explain that you’re not sleeping, light headed, and afraid that if you open your mouth to talk in a meeting you’ll pass out or die or something. “But you don’t have anything to worry about!”. Yeah, I know, that’s kind of the point.

    Thanks for your willingness to share about your anxiety. You get it, and it helps!

  122. Thank you for making me laugh so hard I cried and peed my pants at the same time!! So freakin’ hilarious.

    P.S. I’m sending our cat to your house to score some prozac from the pinata—she’s constantly being hugged to death, dressed up to death, and drug around the house to death on a leash, by our daughter who also has MH labels. We live parallel lives!!

  123. I think we need to stake out our color, ribbon design, and products we will sell for this SIGNIFICANT holiday.
    I was thinking tin-foil. That way it will be really easy to make the hats.

    Now, do we donate a percentage of the profits to mental illness awareness or to something really crazy like a political campaign?

  124. So I took the test. It says I am Bi Polar and depressed. Turns out all the questions they ask are also all the signs of being nine months pregnant?

    So maybe I am just crazy and not really having another kid at 41 and 17 years after the last one???

  125. Yes! We’re the best kind of fucked up, anxiety ridden hot messes. I love you for putting it out there, I really do. I finally drummed up the courage to write about my mom’s bipolar disorder and my anxiety disorder because people like you are helping to break down barriers. Now go have some Prozac and hit your mothafuggin pinata. It’s your week.

  129. “What is your marital status?” “I have never married.” Way to cut right to the bone, online screening. Jesus. Why didn’t you just use “No man has ever loved me” as an option? God.

    I have a generalized anxiety disorder. Which I knew because I’m out of meds, for fuck’s sake. Fortunately, today’s a good day, so I didn’t have to get anxious about EVERY question. Just some. Because the internet was judging me. Which sounds paranoid but in this case is actually true because it’s diagnosing me BASED ON HOW I ANSWER YES OR NO QUESTIONS. And I’m all, “I really think there should be a slightly less decisive answer to some of these questions. Like Maybe or Sometimes. I don’t know how to answer this.”

    Where is my wine bottle opener? Wait, do I have to go back and take the alcoholism test now?

  130. Holy crap! I’m trying really hard not to stress out about having missed nearly the whole holiday week. Did I not get a card or a pinata because people didn’t KNOW about the holiday? Or did people FORGET that I have a mental illness (or two)? Because if I have to ACT a little more fucked up in order to get what is coming to me, I will.

    **anxiety disorder and depression**

  132. As a bi-polar, i totally think this shiuld be like our rosh hashana. and people should get us cards. thank you for letting us print it for free! it’s totally gonna make some of my buddies very happy!!!!
    -diagnosed bipolar 15 years

  133. Score. I knew I skipped class today for a reason other than my prior reasoning that I was too depressed to get out of bed.

  134. Instead of filling a pinata with prozac, which isn’t fair to the kid who breaks the pinata and can’t scoop up the prizes because he/she don’t have a prescription for anti depressants, how about fillin the pinata with mini bar size bottles of booze? Everybody wins!

  139. Victor needs to be more understanding of pinata holidays. We always have a pinata in the garage just in case I feel the need to smash one. We also smash them for all major holidays. We had some Chinese friends over for Thanksgiving one year and afterwards they thought pinatas were part of Thanksgiving. Then I had to explain we’re weird. btw I have a history of depression and anxiety. I’m slightly OCD and germphobic, but it’s okay because the OCD makes me good at my job and germphobia goes well with having lupus.

    Happy Mental Illness Week!!!

  141. It’s just not smart for the nation to not build this week up in a big way. Missed Mother’s Day? Guilt Trip. Missed Father’s Day? He probably didn’t notice. Missed your spouse’s birthday? There are too many ways to count to make up for that.

    Missed National Mental Illness Week? People go fucking crazy. There’s no coming back from that.

    Think, people. Think.

  142. Haha love this post! And you are the best kind of fucked up! I want to make you a Its Okay to be Fucked Up Cake!

    I am new to your blog but I must say I loved your post about the missing sign and the snake. I showed it to my sister last night and we are still laughing about it today.

  143. after taking the mental health screening i am: bipolar, depressed, anxiety ridden, have ptsd and an eating disorder. damn. if only i had a drinking problem and was an adolescent…i would bat a thousand!

  144. as a sufferer of bpd and gad, I really think I should go out and celebrate, but then I might die in a car accident. On a bad day, that might be a win/win. Today is a decent day, however.

  145. Ok so, you’re saying there isn’t going to be a pinata with drugs in it?

    Blaming the cats for this.

  148. THANK YOU! My God! I had no idea I should be relaxing and taking the week off. My husband totally skipped it as well. Bastard.

  150. Not long after I left school I got a job with local government it PR. It was “Schizophrenia Week” and they were planning the PR for it and amongst other things, wanted a banner for the main street of the town.

    I suggested “Schizophrenia Week – Bring All Your Personalities Along.”

    I was relegated to being the ‘admin assistant’ on that project after my ‘socially insensitive remark’. No one had told me representatives (from the Schizophrenia Council thingy-ma-bob) were also sitting there consulting on the project at the time. The silence was deafening.

    My job prospects weren’t too good so I left not long after.

  151. As always, could we have a non cussing version? I love the F word like nobodys business, but I think if I sent this card to my sister at BYU, she’d get kicked out. Thanks Jenny!!

  153. For the record, I DO have a Magic 8 Ball that works. It really does! As long as the Howler doesn’t touch it and fuck it up with her Howler Mojo, and that takes weeks to get off. But it does really work.

  154. Victor owes you a “I was CRAZY to forget National Mental Illness Week!” card. For reals.

  156. I have never been PROUDER to live with mental illness, depression, and anxiety.

    Thank you, Jenny, for helping me like who I am.

    xo

  157. My spouse said he knew you were bipolar because I am able to channel all the voices in your “me vs. victor” dialogues and I’m bipolar, ergo, you must be. I told him he’s not off the hook for red velvet cupcakes and a card.

  158. **applauds**

    I read your blog for the humor, but this is the BEST mix of humor and social media for mental health that I have read in awhile. I *heart* the Bloggess, and I *heart* the many wonderful people I work with who manage life + mental illness. I also *heart* Wil Wheaton, but that is another story that involves paper collation.

  160. Because I’m paranoid (Web MD is the devil…thanks for this link, too… sarcasm) I took the test and apparently I’m having issues with depression, anxiety, and PTS, but on a high note, I’m not suffering from an eating disorder, alcohol abuse (yet), or bipolar. I was safe from teen depression by default… Wow, it’s a good week for me.

  162. I want to be the umpty-umpth person to say that card is perfect and you really are the best kind of fucked-up. And your posts are frequently the highlight of my day.

  165. Whenever I am feeling low I read your blogs. Because they never fail to make me laugh to the point of tears and because it shows me that there are people out there who are even more fucked up than I am. Oh, and that card is on a whole new level of awesomeness. I just gave a friend your “a hug is a strangle you havent finished yet” tshirt and she now loves you as much as I do. Thanks for the temporary boost to my emotional well being.

  167. Maybe Hallmark will take a tip from you and make cards for this! They should be super happy with flowers and shit! Smiling flowers! Yay!

  168. The screening test hates me. Why does it hate me? It doesn’t even know me. I think it’s trying to poke me with a stick

  169. Gosh, I sure wish I read this earlier in the week, now there are only a couple of days left for me to enjoy. Would have been nice to know about this on Monday… I would’ve loved taking the the week off. I’m not blaming you though, I’m blaming Victor, or maybe I should blame Victor’s assistant, who clearly isn’t keeping his calendar in order. I’m not sure if watching Scandinavian horror films would be scarier than watching ones in English, or not. They might just be talking about the weather and I’d be all, “Holy shit, they just said that the priest is possessed by a demon!” Or they might be saying that the priest was possessed by a demon and I’d be thinking, “Yawn, why do they talk about the weather so much on Scandinavian horror films?”

  170. I love you. Seriously – will you marry me? I know I’m already married, to a very nice man, but I think you and I would be happy together and DH and Victor can drink beer and talk about their fucked p wives.

    Also, have you considered making Beyonce the officila mascot of being the best kind of fucked up? He would rock it.

  171. What a jolly card! I too thought I would be late to use it not to mention in a wrong nation, but it turns out we have a similar week here in Finland too only it’s called mental _health_ week but I’m pretty sure it’s still really for us fucked up ones, not the healthy folks.

  172. I’ve just spent half an hour trying to think of something witty to write, but my brain doesn’t seem to want to work with me today, it’s probably punishing me for the anxiety disorder I just diagnosed myself with, courtesy of the screening test…..

    In all seriousness, I just wanted to thank you for writing about mental illness and ‘normalising it’. My Mum struggled with depression her entire life, and eventually, when she could take no more, she chose to end her life. 12 years on, and I’m still fighting my way through the aftermath of her decision. Mental illness is often so misunderstood and hidden away behind closed doors. It’s people like you who help to drag the subject out of hiding and shine a spotlight on it, for all to see. And yes, it’s not always pretty, and it can be shocking and frightening, but it is a part of human experience, and therefore impossible to immunise against. The best we can do is to be together in it.

    Only the other day, I wrote a blog post about the Black Dog: http://iampisspot.wordpress.com/2011/09/29/the-black-dog/

  174. I AM SO GIVING THIS CARD TO MY THERAPIST.

    I mean, she thinks I’m the one with the issues, but I think we all know those weekly sessions are for her. The woman is obsessed.

  175. Finally a week to recognize my crazy self! I too suffer from depression and anxiety and didn’t get a card, gifts, or cake.

    On a more serious note: Thanks to you I am letting go of my fears little by little and getting out of the house more. You are a true inspiration. I would love to meet you one day in hopes that your awesomeness will rub off on me, just a little.

    Claudette in Virginia

  177. Not sure if this is the forum for that type of thing, but if anyone out there is interested in mental illness and public policy, certain governors (New Jersey) are cutting funding for mental hospitals in the state, forcing them to close and for the patients to go to other facilities further from their homes and loved one, with questionable care. Make a phone call and make a difference!

  178. @Eva “What color is crazy?” New favorite line of the year!!!! Love it!

    @Barbara My hubby would SO want his own card, too!

    Jenny – again – I love your brain!!!! Hahahaha!

  179. –>Since October is breast cancer awareness month, can you make some wildly inappropriate cards for that? My good friend was just diagnosed and she would die (in laughter!) with an unexpected message about her cancer.

    deb

  180. I LOVE how the “Fucked Up” card is rated G.

    Hahahaha

    Do you also work for the Motion Picture Rating Board?

    hahahaha

  183. So, I’m on depression meds already. Obviously I know I’m depressed. But somehow that test made me feel like I should be RUNNING to a doctor to get treated even further. And now I feel even more depressed but also happy about it.

    I love this card though. I already liked it on Pinterest.

  185. How do I print this out for free?? it sends me to the store…I don’t want to be a cheap-o but i REALLY need to give this to my evil off her meds step-mother….it might go anonoymous but still it NEEDS to be sent…she’s mean

  186. My husband lives with bipolar disorder. He is the most amazing father and husband and I am grateful for every day that I have with him. Your blog posts about Victor make me feel understood. I get so many comments from well intentioned people asking me why I put up with certain behaviors, or hospitalizations, or being the only income for our family. It isn’t crazy to love someone with mental illness, and I love the strength and beauty of your relationship with V.

    Sorry to not be quirky and fun, just had to share a genuine thank you for being so honest.

  187. I don’t need Mental Illness Awareness Week. In fact, I think most of the folks here don’t need it because we’re aware of it every single day because it lives inside our heads. Let’s face it, none of the people who find you funny can be mentally well. (I, btw, think you are hilarious!) And just so you know, pinatas are people, too!

    No, they’re not!

    Yes, they are! Shut up!

    No, YOU shut up!

    FUCK YOU!!

    FUCK YOU!!

  188. You ARE the best type of fucked up! And thank you for it. Oh, and please take me to your thrift stores and shit! The ones I have been to lately don’t have any Copernicus’, or even Beyonce’s. I think I might just go stare at a wall with the cat for a while, wait not at home…. the walls here are not nearly as interesting. Oh well. Ta Ta!

  189. The best kind of fucked up, for sure – you know you’re fucked up and have a great sense of humor about it. Actually the most fucked up are the ones who don’t think they are and are totally humorless.

  190. I just want to say I discovered your blog by pure accident and it is the place I come to when I need a pick me up. This post made me laugh until I cried (silently of course – my kid is finally napping and I don’t want to wake her!) awesome! I want to share it on facebook – but I have so many prudish friends…

  191. I THOUGHT I was feeling kind of celebratory. Now I know why. Those voices in my head were wishing me WELL this time. What a relief.

  192. Best. post. ever. Thank you! Happy “You’re the best kind of fucked up” week to you as well!!!!!!!! best line: “the holiday is even bipolar” HAHAHAHA! perfect!

  193. Thank you for the card! I sent one to a few others who are certifiable! {{{{hugs}}}}
    I think we need to ensure this is in our charter:
    Better Living Through Pharmaceuticals!

  195. OMG this is just freaking AWESOME.. I think Joy and I have had this conversation! More than once even! I think we were twins separated at birth Jenny…..

  196. This is brilliant. I’ve just sent it to a good friend of mine. Ironically, my birthday is in a few days. This is going to make me smirk at every card I recieve….

  197. OK. I haven’t seen it posted anywhere else in the comments. You need to seriously go to http://www.wrongcards.com.
    I can’t even believe you don’t know about this site, so I’m sure you do. Just go. Look at all of them, but especially the ones in the WTF section. The cards are so…YOU! Let me know what you think. Happy Crazy Lady week. Personally, I think we need more than a week. Whatevs.

  198. You make my day. You are definitely the “best kind of fucked up.” Thanks for giving me a new holiday!

  199. It’s also National Recovery Month, and I find it sort of passive aggressive that they put Mental Illness week right smack in the middle of National Recovery month. They don’t actually expect us to IMPROVE, do they?

  200. Best line: “Well the other 51 weeks are no picnic either.”

    You’re the best, Ma’am.

  202. I love your blog and often read them to my husband. I don’t know if he is laughing at them, or laughing at me as I crack up trying to read them. Whichever it is, we get a lot of enjoyment from you and your blog.

  203. All my characters are real and I talk back to them on an hourly basis. What kind of crazy is that? Whatever it is, I’m not complaining. I have better conversations with them than I do with some humans. 😀

  204. I took the online screenings and I have generalized anxiety disorder and depression/bipolar. I’m really hoping their screenings are wrong, otherwise I’m more fucked up than I thought.

  205. In honor of this week, I feel compelled to write to you. A friend “shared” your Beyonce story one day and I read it and laughed. A day later my boyfriend had emergency surgery and as I sat in the hospital all weird feeling and raw, I started reading your past posts. Now he is home recovering, but I found your blog the only thing keeping me sane as I struggled to take on the responsibility of everything. So, I started from the beginning, page 120something. I am now in the middle of the year 2008 at “So I got a box in the mail filled with 80 body parts”. I have to get back to present by reading it all, one by one. It’s a thing now. When I am about to stab people (or myself), feel so lonely, am cleaning out a pee bottle, arguing with bill collectors or getting the “why are you drinking? don’t you care about me? what if I need to go to the hospital and you’ve had wine?” diatribes, I go to page “next entries” and keep reading. You make me feel better, less weird and less worried. You show me I can be me. I can be strong. I guess that’s the thing. Your writing helps me be me. So, I appreciate you during Happy Mental Illness Awareness Week. Oprah’s a bitch. You’re my hero.

  206. I tried to take one of those tests. As soon as I found the one for my area my internet browser crashed. I think it might be trying to tell me something.

  207. I just took the online screening and it said I may have an anxiety disorder. That makes me nervous. I probably won’t be able to sleep well tonight after that. Where’s that piñata?

  208. Thank you! I sat here roaring with laughter as my 2 cats and dog sat and stared at me. I was feeling sorry for myself again. I too have to deal with depression & anxiety shit. I came across your blog from ‘my organized chaos’, and am so glad that I did.
    I can’t wait till the next post.
    Cheers.

  210. I had NO Idea they had a whole week dedicated to my depression, social anxiety, paranoia, bi polar, adhd, and dyslexia (well dyslexia is more of a learning disability, but I use the pity me card for that when I can.) That is awesome!~

    Now, Let’s have a happy pilltini and relax.

  211. Everyone is normal UNTIL YOU GET TO KNOW THEM… I am crazy and I know it… Anyone who doesn’t like it and theere are lots of those can just F*#k off.

  212. Holy Shit I love this idea. I could soooo give this to my BFF. We both have our own issues and she would completely find this hysterical!!! Must order.

  213. Happy Mental Awarness Week (although it is now over) to you Jenny!! And Me!! And most of my friends…. and family… Wow. Ya, we crazies do stick together, don’t we? *sigh* Best company ever.

  214. me: Don’t stay in there too long. I got a pinata to hang from the ceiling fan.

    Victor: Is it filled with prozac?

    You guys are so funny!

  215. I do make cards like that. I also make cards like: “I’m sorry she dumped you- is it too soon for a purely platonic pity fuck?” and “It’s a girl! Maybe next time remember to wear a condom!” and “I swear I didn’t know she was your sister.”… Cards for people like me. With poor taste. Cheers!

  216. A little late catching up here.. just HAD to read this to my husband and he was just about rolling on the floor.

    ME: Yeah, sounds a lot like us huh?
    Kelly: Oh Hell Yeah, is this Bloggess person your twin seperated at birth?
    ME: *sighs* Oh I WISH.. Jenny is the best kind of fucked up EVAR.
    Kelly: I think you run a close second.
    (Not sure if he said that for reals though or because tomorrow is my birthday.. whatever, I give him points for
    recognizing greatness)

  217. I have decided – officially – that you are AWESOME. I suffer from mental illness myself and to see someone deal with it with the humor and realness that it really takes to get through the day to day of life makes me smile.

    I didn’t see your blog before until a friend posted you on FB regarding Jose the rude PR guy. I love your blog and will be sharing.

    Best of luck and keep on taking your meds. 😉

  219. Great post! a friend of mine sent me the link yesterday. He’s awesome like that!

    Worse part is that I didn’t even know it was Mental Illness Awareness week and that made me sad.

  220. LOVE. THIS. Just ordered a card. I’m going to frame it and put it on the wall in front of my elliptical, where I post all the inspirational stuff I use to remind myself how far I’ve come. Thank you, Jenny!

  221. Follow-Up: I just posted this on Facebook, too.
    Me: Do you know what this last week has been?
    Husband: A bitch?
    Me: No, it was Mental Illness Awareness Week…why didn’t you get me a card?
    Husband: Because I wasn’t AWARE.
    Me: That’s ok, I just ordered myself one from The Bloggess. It says,”You are the BEST Kind of Fucked Up”.
    Husband: I don’t get it.
    Me: It’s a card. It’s nice.
    Husband: It IS?
    Me: Yeah, it says, “I love you, even though you’re not normal.”
    Husband: YOU’RE not normal?
    Me: [Exasperated sigh].

    …and this, friends, is why I love this man. He’s been with me SO LONG, he thinks I’m NORMAL. 🙂

  224. I am obviously not alone in this but I absolutely adore you. I want to dance around the prozac pinata and exchange

    Me: Fred, why didn’t you get me a card for mental illness week?
    Fred: Well, cause you’re not mentally illed (sic) [pause] Fuck that. Here you go. *hands me a blank card promoting a business strategy.* Well, you didn’t actually expect me to write something on that, did you?
    Me: *hysterical laughter*
    Fred: Actually, if you’re mentally ill, you should be able to imagine there’s something on the card.

    Sigh 🙂

    Absolutely bloody wonderful. Thank you.

  225. That test said I was bipolar which explains a lot I guess. My boyfriend however didn’t understand, he thought that was only a disorder polar bears got when they delivered twins… Welp I just wanted to tell you Jenny you are made of win!

    Hugs,
    Heather

  226. Awwwww! No test for TS or OCD. And no screening sites in my whole @%$^ state. No wonder I didn’t get a card.

    I was about to print out your card, post it to my wall, and sing, “Happy crazies to me… happy crazies to me…” quietly so no one else would come to take my card away, but then I saw your previous post about the snake poster. Snork-laughing is no way to hide a private pity crazy card from the people around me.

  227. You know, I love what your blog is doing for people. You’re making crazy people not only relevant, but funny as well. Having a mental illness myself, I am so glad that people like you are making the world aware of the fact that we’re insane ’cause we can’t help it. It’s like syphilis, except for we didn’t have nearly as much fun contracting it. Hey, what if mental illnesses were sexually contracted diseases? That would be much more fun. You should probably make a blog about that.
    “Fuck yourself crazy! All the cool kids are doing it!”
    It would be like a fucked up revival of the romantic period, but set in the 21st century. Hell, you’re as close to a modern Lord Byron as we’re probably going to get.
    Much Love,
    Blanche

  228. You are the fucking shit!
    What the hell is taking Hallmark so long to get ahold of you? Dipshits.

  229. I read “Scandinavian Horror Movie” and every thing else turned to blah, blah, blah and all I could think is….were you watching Let Me In??? It was, wasn’t it?

  230. OOps, I mean “Let The Right One In” The novel is “Let Me In” – which I read after watching the movie.

  231. I’ve mailed 5 of these to friends, and kept one for myself.

    Next year you should skip the Scandinavian Horror Films and host a HUGE party in a hotel bathroom. We can all exchange Xanax, share stories, and chill our wine/drinks in the sink.

  232. You really are the best kind of fucked up. Thanks for permission to take the week off. My husband says I need a doctor’s note, but that shouldn’t be a problem, since she once cried during a session. Apparently, I’m contagious.

  233. I work for this company that offers these free online screenings. It’s a great way to reach out. Until Oct. 1 we were doing this at VA hospitals, military bases and other health and wellness fairs all year long. Guess what- our funding just got cut and we aren’t offering them anymore. It’s terrible. I hate that something as wonderful and helpful as this is no longer.

    When I had PPD my OB gave me a doctor’s note to show people in my office it said, “SHUT UP!” She said I could flash it at people who came into my office whenever I wished. That was the best kind of fucked up too.

  234. You truly ARE the best kind of fucked up. My kinda fucked up. I have passed your blog on to many MANY friends, who love it as much as I do.

    I’ve been depressed most of my life. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who deals with it.

  235. I found the most amusing part of this post is the fact that you mentioned cat overdoses, and the first comment is made by “DogsOnDrugs”, with their last post being “Goodbye.”

    Going to go into my corner and laugh hysterically at my terrible sense of humor.

  236. I missed the holiday but this card works for all occasions in my family. I may make it the 2011 holiday card this year.

  238. Mother Theresa was evil. Withholding pain medication because she believed in purification through suffering, even during operations? Pure evil.

  239. Have you ever had to put a cat on Prozac? I have, and it is fucking hilarious to watch them get all goofy and spaced out. Spastic Boy turned into a Rag Doll inside 24 hours. It was great. Then it wore off. (This whole thing was on the vet’s suggestion — he was a very anxious rescue kitten who hosed everything, and he had been neutered a couple of months before I got him. He was too adorable to give back to rescue, and I couldn’t have my house stinking of cat piss. Now he’s grown up, off the Prozac, and much mellower. Totally worth the meds and the gallons of cat piss eliminator. Yes, I am my own special brand of insane, too.)

  240. True story: in the past I have been treated for a really bad anxiety disorder. Like, as in I was practically a shut-in for a while there. You posted that link to the assessment thingy and I was like “huh, let’s see how badly I flunk THIS one” but it actually said it didn’t think I had an anxiety disorder. Which…well, huh, look at that. I think my life has improved a lot in the past few years. Or maybe the meds are working better? Either way I felt pretty damned good about myself after I flunked that test! So thanks for that 🙂

  241. Thank you for the card, but dammit….. I’d really like to have the pinata with the Prozac. Bi-polar disorder here. Thanks for being transparent and amazing Jenny.

  243. You are the best kind of fucked up. Let count the ways.

    1) I have frequently used your blog to cheer up co-workers having pretty shitty days to make it a little better.
    2) I took the online screening you linked here and I wanted to say thank you. It said I had depression and I should talk to someone about it. And it opened up a conversation with my family so that I did go to my doctor and see what my issue is. And that lead me to get some help and medication. And I have had the best placebo effect evar cuz I have more anxiety based crazy rather than depressed depressed so that is awesome.
    3) I have stopped worrying what people are going to think when I wear my panda hat with mitten/scarf because I am technically an adult. (Although that might have more to do with the medication but you can grab some credit too.)

  244. I should have known about this holiday – now I feel gypt. But I am usually proud to be fucked up on tuesdays and thursdays anyway – so I guess I win either way.

    New reader BTW – You’re awesome!

  246. Thank you for posting the mental health screening website.
    Really.
    I’ve suspected and felt like I might have clinical depression for… years. When you take an actual analysis and it says you probably do… well. That makes me feel better, somehow.

    Thank you for your openness and willingness to talk about mental health.
    <3

  247. I “tested” positive for everything but I feel like I have nothing because I’m happy. Unless I focus on the negative and then I feel busted up.

    Focus on the positive!

  248. I think all of us defined or undefined mentally ill need “thinking of you” cards every day. For the years it took them to “officially” diagnose my main course as BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) with side dishes of depression, anxiety and occasional fugue states. I’m so lucky that at least when I think I’m going crazy…all I have to do remember that I am crazy. Yes, I have my drug cocktail, but I also have a psychiatrist that cares and asks the right questions for the other non-mental drugs I’m on (lots of those….hey, what can I say? I didn’t leave the hospital until I was 3 (I think) because of my physical “disabilities” than no one can see. If anyone agrees with such a task, let me know where to send them. I stock up on them for myself….would love to reach out & touch someone who may want one. Oh yeah, if you haven’t seen Patrick Melrose, highly recommend it. I’m a librarian (my sister who is a long time Bloggess fan) has already volunteered me for the book shop (and we actually lived in San Antonio at one time). Blabbed enough already.

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