BEST IDEA EVER

in Random Crap

It’s 2am and I’m only half awake because of all the sleeping pills but I just had a million dollar idea and if I put it on the internet no one can steal it, plus I’ll remember it in the morning.

STRAWBERRY GRAVY.

That is all.

 

UPDATED: 6am:  WTF, me?  This is exactly why you’re not allowed to blog at 2am.

201 thoughts on “BEST IDEA EVER”

Read comments below or add one.

  6. Is that like the stuff kids mix with milk to make strawberry milk? (As opposed to chocolate milk…) Or is it more like actual gravy with strawberries in it?

  7. Good thinking with the high security internet idea. I wonder if the original inventor of bacon-flavored lube thought of that.

  11. I’m awake and watching “on demand” JUSTIFIED. Do you watch this show? I do believe you would LOVE it. There are lots of “strange” people on it. Much like real life. Just saying.

  12. @Laura – “Suicidal Strawberries” would make an awesome band name.

  13. We do have strawberry vinegar, here in Australia. Don’t you have it in the USA?

  16. So, I’m totally confused by the fact that this doesn’t already exist. Because it’s basically brilliant. We’ve been waiting for a revolutionary like you to come along and turn condiments on their ears. Wait, is gravy a condiment?

  17. So, is that, like,
    2Tbs butter
    2Tbs flour
    [do the roux]
    1 cup strawberry juice or puree
    half cup heavy sweetened cream
    1tsp vanilla…whisk into roux over medium heat until thickened?

  18. We can put it on vanilla ice cream spaghetti with Ferrero Rocher meatballs.

  20. Why stop at strawberry? You could have orange gravy to go with duck, apple gravy for pork etc etc

  22. You had me at ….well, let’s just say you have me. What do we put it on?! (Aside from our fingers)

  26. That would totally work: hearty winter dishes such as bangers & mash (translation: sausages & mashed potatoes) would be given a new lease of life in the summer months. And everybody knows that what the world needs is more comforting mashed potatoes – so all will benefit. 😀
    Mmmm…I’m hungry now…

  28. Why stop at strawberries? There is potential for a whole fruit-gravy industry I feel. Feeling blue? Blueberry gravy. Feeling a bit kooky? Coconut gravy. Need some dewy youthfulness? Peach gravy. It’s brilliant!

    I don’t know if you have dragon’s den over there, but I’m sure someone will want to invest millions in this…

  30. … I have strawberry sorbet. Homemade. I have leftover strawberries. I have sugar. I … don’t actually have any milk. I do have a frying pan. IS IT SCIENCE TIME?

    … oOO. I HAVE COCONUT MILK.

  33. Why stop at Strawberry? You could market a whole line of flavuored gravies.
    Cranberry Gravy for turkey, mint gravy for lamb, fish gravy for cat food, the options are endless!

  36. Dear God NOOOOOO!!!!
    Mind you I love Vegemite so what would I know.

    Strawberry gravy would have the colour of a weirdly ill tanned person…

  37. It’s after 4 a.m. and I’m still awake. Melatonin didn’t work this time. How come I don’t have brilliant ideas like this when I have insomnia?

  40. I have also had a million dollar idea, but because I am far more generous than the Bloggess, I’m putting here for anyone who wishes to co-opt (because I am too lazy). Are you ready…? A gun that shoots chocolate-coated liquorice…. BULLETS! Geddit? 🙂 If you make a million off it, send me one, my mum loves liquorice. (PS, if l chocolate-coated liquorice pieces aren’t called ‘bullets’ in the US then you will find this terribly unfunny)

  42. I think we had Strawberry gravy Tuesday night. I made cranberry glaze pork in the crockpot, but told my boys it was “jelly cooked pork”. They asked for extra jelly. So, my boys ate pork with strawberry jam on it. That’s kinda like strawberry gravy, right?

  44. We should get started on this.

    This somehow fits in with my dream last night of being in The Hunger Games with the people off The Apprentice..

  45. Unfortunately google-fu skills show that strawberry gravy already exists. You are very late Jenny.

  46. Has anyone else noticed that this post is titled “Bet Idea Ever” instead of best? Insomnia is funny. In a homicidal sort of way…

  48. Already been done, they call it “strawberry gastric.” Made with balsamic vinegar and very tasty on foie gras or pork tenderloin. Mebbe if you went with something a little more exotic, like “banana gravy,” or “pumpkin gravy” you’d be able to corner a whole new market.

  49. Just as long as it doesn’t look like pink slime because we all know how well that went over in the beef industry.

  53. We can assume this is why those in hospitals aren’t allowed access to computers much; great ideas like this could overthrow humanity’s entire way of existence.

    Probably for the better.

  55. And to think I squandered last night’s insomnia thinking of all the stuff I need to do before Sunday morning (A: too much.) Obviously I’m a slacker.

  60. One of my Italian friends questioned whether this is for what Italians call gravy or what the rest of the world calls it. I don’t think it matters. Seems pretty interchangeable.

  61. I really hope that the words you were too tired to type are “….will be the name of my new band.”

    Because actual strawberry gravy? Ick!

  62. Oh my. In college I learned about a lot of great works of art and poetry that were produced under the influence of sleeping pills (and other such imagination-enhancing chemicals). maybe this will become a great and powerful icon of creativity in our society.

  63. Mmmm! Hot strawberry gravy on some fresh baked biscuits! I need breakfast now. My daughter makes biscuits and chocolate gravy that the family is crazy about!

  64. Just noticed your heading: BET IDEA EVER. Only sign of the sleeping pill kicking in that I saw! LOL Perhaps mine hasn’t worn off yet!

  65. My mother makes it, to put over ice cream. She calls it “heisse Liebe” — “hot love.” Make what you like of that. And go try it, right away.

  66. I think that would taste amazing on some homemade biscuits.

    (I’m southern-ish. Biscuits are important.)

  69. Yeah, those pills must be fabulous instead of eating mushrooms

  70. Have you ever had chocolate gravy? Supposedly it’s all the rage down here in the holler. I’ve not tried it, the thoughts of greasy chocolate cohabitating on my plate with runny egg yolks makes me wanna gag.

  71. I didn’t sleep all night, and strawberry gravy sounds awesome. You are a staggering genius, Ma’am.

  72. Hmmm…I’m not sure if you’re proving or disproving the statement of my Philosophy professor: “Contrary to popular opinion, you do not write better while high.”

    Either way, your commenters are awesome and would have given me insomnia (by causing me to stay up to see what they said next) if I had read this in the middle of the night!

  73. Well I am not sure about strawberry gravy but I sure would like the recipe for 1greenblogger’s “hot love” sauce.

  75. That would perfectly complement my Chocolate Mashed Potatoes.

    Call me. We’ll be the “Ben & Jerry’s” of gross food items.

  78. Isn’t that the stuff in those plastic Ihop jars on every table? Which reminds me, I want bacon. Like now. I want bacon now.

  80. I wish I was this creative on sleeping pills…. when they aren’t working fully I tend to just sit there and drool on myself. Sexy.

  82. Huh. Intriguing. Sounds versatile. Like it could go on steaks or pancakes. Or both, all in one meal.

  83. LMAO…This is why I don’t facebook after flexeril (and am kind of wishing I had remembered that last nite), but strawberry gravy is better than random posts on people’s profiles, I guess.

  85. I grilled bacon last night. I’m pretty sure that trumps strawberries and gravy

  86. Ah, strawberry gravy, it would go great on a feral giant strawberry. After I hunted gutted and killed the giant strawberry that is. They are wily beasts.

  87. You have had chocolate gravy, right? One of the only things I miss about this one guy I dated (for far too long) was his sweet mom and her southern cooking, including the delights of chocolate gravy on biscuits.
    Looking back, I probably would have gained a million pounds if I had married into that family.

  88. Strawberry gravy, I know a recipe – 1 cup strawberries and 1 cup of vodka, puree together and then drink it and tell yourself “this is gravy. By the time your finished that you’ll believe yourself.

  89. @Lenor I like your style! In Germany they have ice cream spaghetti, I’m totally with you on the Ferrero Rocher meatballs. You’re geniuses all of you!

  90. Actually, strawberry gravy on pancakes sounds devine. I had pancakes this morning and they were missing something. It MUST have been strawberry gravy…

  92. I have far too much strawberry gravy in my life. Thats it for the toddler. No more fruit of any kind until he can sit his own butt on the toilet.

  94. See I do this too but it’s much less embarassing because no one reads my blog. Or at least hundreds of thoughands of people don’t read my blog. But you never know if it might actually be some fantastic idea, I say keep it coming.

  96. I’ve made strawberry gravy before, actually – savory gravy plus strawberry slices minus some of the other spices. It’s fantastic over pork loin!

  97. There’s a recipe for chocolate gravy on The Bitten Word food blog, which looks divine. Put it on some mashed potato ice cream and I think we will all be very pleased.

  98. Victor needs to add some kind of breathalyzer to your computer. Either that or he can start lurking near your office all night with his hammer.

  99. I make Man Gravy. Anyone can make it really.

    Prep time: 1 min. Cook time: varies.

    Ingredients:
    1 man
    time (hahaha get it. Not Thyme, but time)
    shake-weight abuser

    Directions:
    Pretty much self explanatory, minus the shake-weight.

  101. Don’t anyone kill me for raining on any gravy parades, please. But I’m just wondering … how does this product differ from strawberry preserves, compote or even syrup?

    Okay, now I’ve angered the 100+ people who commented before me. Never mind! Bottle your gravy idea, Jenny! Bottle it like the wind!

    I will be the first one in line for your ‘STRAVY.’ It’s just what Thanksgiving needs to catch up to its sexier, show-off cousin, Christmas.

  103. Sounds good to me. People put cranberries and applesauce on their meats. Why not strawberry gravy?

  105. sounds like something we’d put on matzabrei to help give it actual flavor. I really think the recipe posted above…the one that starts with a roux…was brilliant.

    happy passover….and easter!

  106. I also tell myself never to blog at 2:00 a.m. after taking ambien and will often find a post the next morning that I have no recollection of writing. And I appear to be WAY more interesting on drugs than off of them. That sucks.

  107. The recipe above is a good one, but I think you could make a meat gravy work with strawberries. Fruit and meat are not uncommon friends. Quick to the test kitchen! I wish I had the funds for a test kitchen, aka the money for food that I may not consume.

  109. I’ve actually heard of strawberry gravy….sorry 🙁
    Seen a recipe for it somewhere, but I don’t remember where or how on earth you would use it or on what but I just remember thinking….YUM!

  111. When I woke up at 3 (and at 4) a.m. to let out my stomach-troubled dog, all I thought of was that I wanted her to hurry up so i could get back to bed…no brilliant ideas to share with the world, just selfishness. I’m not a good person in the middle of the night.

  112. You know . . . in a weird way . . . I almost sounds . . . nah. I can’t make it work at 10:03 a.m. Sorry. I still think you are the cat’s meow. Not Posey’s because I’m not sure that Posey could muster a decent meow. But Ferris Mewler’s.

  115. Healthy gravy. It’s got vitamins and lots of fiber. So totally a winner.

  116. I had the idea for bacon flavoured gum (yes that is how we spell it up here in Canada). I was thinking about $5 a pack, you give me $5, I give you bacon flavoured gum

  117. Totally confused. At first, I was envisioning gravy with strawberries IN it – gross. But then I was thinking more like the recipe Deana posted above , with a roux and strawberry juice.

    This is not the best idea ever.

  118. Smuckers makes a pancake syrup that I immediately thought of when I saw this, so I think they may have retroactively stolen your idea…

  119. Fruit gravy … it could catch on. Fravy. By Jiminiy, I think you’ve cracked it girl! Sit back, wait for the offers to come pouring in.

  120. I think what woke you at 2am was the fact that this is the BEST IDEA EVER for a CHICK BAND-NAME!

    “Ladies and gentlemen…please welcome to the stage…the band you’ve been waiting for: STRAWBERRY GRAVY!” …(and the crowd goes wild…)

  122. I just finished Culinary School and one of the classes was American Food. We were supposed to do sour cherry chicken or something like that but since our school is cheap we didn’t have that. We had strawberries instead. Everyone else made chicken with a normal gravy but I turned those strawberries into the BEST strawberry chicken EVER! The Chef was a little hesitant to try it, he thought it would be to sweet. But I was able to keep the flavor of the strawberry but make it a savory dish. He loved it. So yeah…strawberry gravy TOTALLY works. Did you steal it from!? 😀

  123. I think the best ideas come from blogging at 2AM. I don’t get up and actually touch the computer, I just write down all the little notes that are important.

    Like when Princess Talks-A-Lot tells the nice lady at McDonalds. No I am not her daughter I am the Nicaraguan orphan that she adopted off the television for $.15 a day.

    WTF offspring!

  124. Thanks, I needed something to put on my pink slime Salisbury steak. Is the strawberry Gravy treated with ammonia too ?

  126. One time, I woke up to a little piece of paper on my bedside table that said:
    “The Irishman was like a rake to the gravel road of his soul.”
    It was in my handwriting and I can’t remember why.

    I WISH I COULD REMEMBER WHY.

  127. Okay, the pumpkin gravy idea sounds like something we all need to try this year.

    Pumpkin gravy on cheesecake.
    Pumpkin gravy on ice cream.
    Lemon ginger shortbread dipped in pumpkin gravy.
    Hot rolls with pumpkin gravy and a little of that melty frosting you drizzle on cinnamon rolls?

    Nom nom nom.

  128. And this post is exactly why I check your blog numerous times during the day (and night!)

  129. Hmm Sweet strawberry sauce on mashed potatoes. Could be good actually. I mean it is carbs and sugar- nothing wrong with that!

  131. lol. I love getting ideas when I’m in that weird zone between awake and asleep. Sometimes I write songs there. Everything comes so easy and sounds amazing!

  133. My mother in law makes chocolate gravy every Christmas morning. It’s coincidental that she now has diabetes but it makes for a good foot note.

  135. It isn’t actually a bad idea. I used to buy this raspberry sauce that had a little kick to it (some kind of pepper?) that was so awesome on meat. Pork especially but it killed on steak too.

    May not have been fabulous on potatoes but in fairness, I never tried it there.

  136. Here’s why this is a great idea:

    Several years ago, my dad decided to make himself an ice cream sundae before going to bed. For some reason, he did not think it prudent to turn on a light, and did this all by the light of the fridge and the streetlight shining through the window. He scooped himself some vanilla ice cream, covered it in macerated strawberries (look at me, all culinary) and took it upstairs to his room. He turned on the tv, got all settled in, and took a big bite…

    …of vanilla ice cream covered in beef stew.

    Strawberry gravy would have prevented this tragedy from happening.

    I can only be grateful that he did not offer my mom a bite first.

  138. Ooh, no, not gravy! Bleurgh! Strawberry salsa now, that’s lovely.

    A smell of petroleum prevails throughout…

    J. x

  140. I love strawberry gravy. Two parts strawberries, one part gravy and one part SHUT UP i am trying to think here. Also, vodka.

  143. You’re wrong, Jenny. The greatest ideas in the world have come from insomnia. Strawberry gravy is almost as awesome as juggling flaming chainsaws (that was one of my sleep-depraved ideas, which is why it took me almost 20 minutes to type this comment).

  144. I’m notorious for my half conscious “strokes of genius.”
    Some are awesome (having my friends’ Mexican restaurant cater our wedding),
    some haven’t panned out (emailing the owners of the hotel in Italy we want to stay for our honeymoon, offering to do a better translation on their English website in exchange for a reduced rate)
    and some fall into the Strawberry Gravy category, like this one: http://madamvonsassypants.wordpress.com/2010/03/18/dream-catcher/

  145. Deana has the right idea up there–
    but I would just go straight to the diabeetus with powdered sugar, cream, and pureed strawberries.

    Pour it down my throat,
    and be all “GRAVY, BITCHES.”

    We roll hard with the berries in my ‘hood.

    Yo.

  146. I would totally eat that shit. Om nom nom nom nom. Of course, I would never have thought to blog about my great idea. I would have just gone to sleep and forgotten I ever even HAD an idea by morning.

  147. Too late, my dear. Grover invented this on Sesame Street probably 30 years ago, when my kids were little and watching it regularly (in the pre-Elmo days, when it was still watchable by adults). Strawberry gravy. I remember it well.

  151. It’s not actually that crazy, last week I made apple gravy to go on some Kielbasa 🙂 You should try the strawberry gravy on something!

  152. Yep, I’m a sleep blogger and a sleep eater as well. In fact I blogged about the dangers of sleep blogging just this week. Thanks to my husband for checking my blog each morning before most people are up and about. I’ve had to delete and edit a lot of blogging rants done during my sleep blogging. There should be warning labels.

  154. HEY!! I just opened up my Ladies Home Journal (don’t ask-my kid was selling magazines) and they reviewed your book! And it was a great review! Congratulations!

  155. The idea of strawberry gravy reminds me of that one time I topped off a night of drinking with a warm tequila shot. Both should be illegal.

  156. Sounds yummy. I saw this post at 3am, but was to incoherent to type anything. You had me dreaming of the mixing room from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. 🙂

  161. What’s extra great, is that strawberry gravy will make the food look like it’s bleeding. And who wouldn’t want that? Maybe not vegetarians. Except that strawberry gravy IS vegetarian. Vegan even. So we’re back to something everyone wants.

  166. When I was taking care of an elderly relative, who was World’s Pickiest Eater Over the Age of 12….

    I was making baked chicken or fish and would coat the pieces lemon curd, Raspberry jam, or Strawberry jam and then bake them in the oven… everything was delicious and stayed nice and tender.

    this also works out great on the grill, or in a steamer.

  167. A friend of mine makes raspberry gravy every Thanksgiving.

    Sadly, I am deathly allergic to raspberries and cannot have any.

  169. Best post ever.

    (Except, sorry, but I think this basically exists. Strawberry sauce, you know? Even that psychedelic stuff they put on sundaes at Dairy Queen. But I think you could make it better.)

  170. This was awesome, cause one of my friends and I were totally talking about strawberry gravy this morning. It’s really weird that you had the same idea. Have you ever had Chocolate Gravy? It’s pretty wonderful. If you make a stop on your book tour in the St. Louis area I’ll make it for you! 🙂

  171. Well, you could market it to Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles. It would cut their strawberry jam and gravy purchasing in half.

  172. Gag. I just had the same reaction as when I walked through someone’s fart at Trader Joe’s yesterday. Yes…put the computer under lock and key during the wee hours…please!

  174. My aunt makes strawberry dumplings. She takes strawberries and kind of simmers them with loads of sugar and water and then cooks small balls of homemade biscuit dough. It’s kind of like gravy when it’s done. It’s also a little like sugar heaven.

  178. In a world where chocolate gravy exists, this is not too far off the beaten path.
    That being said, I wonder how hard it could be to make it?
    If I figure it out (& its tasty), I’ll post the recipes and pictures.

  181. There ya go… just a little red on everything. Just for color. Now who wouldn’t want that?

    Do we actually get strawberry chunks in there or is it smooth in your version.. Maybe you hadn’t thought it through at the time.

  182. It actually exists already. Just google strawberry gravy recipe and you’ll get a ton of hits. It’s great on biscuits and waffles btw.

  183. I don’t know about strawberry, but my Aunt Kaye from Arkansas makes a great chocolate gravy on biscuits that’s to die for.

  184. Eh, I’ve already admitted to eating mashed potatoes like it’s ice cream. Why not? I am all for it.

    Strawberries automatically means healthier…. right?

  187. I have totally done that. Jotted something down in the middle of the night that I was convinced was utter brilliance only to wake up and wonder WTF I was thinking….

  188. Gotta love those middle of the night ideas! I always wonder what the hell I was thinking the next day…

  189. Clearly you should take Ambien, this way when you wake up , you’d already have it made. Yumm, Strawberry Gravy . Its a breakfast food or a trendy drink with Vodka.

  190. No! This was a brilliant idea!! I’m thinking strawberry gravy over angel food cake…over biscuits…over toast.

    OMG the possibilities!!!

  193. My grandmother makes a breakfast that we always called “strawberries and biscuits” – it’s basically homemade biscuits, with blended strawberries mixed with sugar in a bowl, and then you add some milk and dip the biscuits in them….it’s really, really good! She also makes “chocolate gravy and biscuits” – it’s a once a year thing.

  194. My family has a “sweet” gravy like that. Chocolate gravy with biscuits!! Delicious!!

  196. This was a charming sleeping pill induced post. I am extraordinarily afraid of tweeting random nonsense while under the influence of sleeping pills. This fear isn’t too irrational because I’ve numerous friends who tweet and text bizzaro stuff while on Ambien.

    Ugh, sleeping pills never work for me anyway. They turn me into a zombie.

  197. I make Chocolate Gravy, serve it warm over biscuits, it’s very yummy. Kind of like chocolate pudding, but it’s not chocolate pudding. Never heard of it, until my husband who comes from the Ozarks in Arkansas, told me about it, and asked me to make it. And as luck would have it, I found a recipe for it. Who knew?

  199. Okay, so I had this boyfriend in high school who’s mother made chocolate gravy and biscuits. Yeah, I know. Ew. Except it wasn’t “ew”. It was freaking YUM. So, after your revelation of strawberry gravy, I think we need to combine forces and make chocolate/strawberry gravy to go over pancakes and waffles and biscuits and shortcakes and ice cream and fresh strawberries and well, anything. Except fried chicken. Nothing will make fried chicken better than it already is. Because… FRIED. CHICKEN. Sorry, Beyonce.

    OMG OMG OMG! I just saw Dawn’s comment (197)! Chocolate gravy is the bomb diggity, baby.

  201. They actually serve a strawberry style gravy on steak at a restaurant we go to here in Sicily. My husband loves it.

Leave a Reply

MY BOOKS:


shop

Subscribe to the bloggess, y'all.

Enter your email address and receive notifications of new posts by email. It\'s like I\'m stalking you, but more efficient.

Archives

ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:

I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

The Dating Days of Marta O: When I told my sister I was building a blog she said: “Do people still read blogs?” I do not know, but if YOU want to read it, here it is. Keep in mind, my stories about dating after 40 are for the brave.

CONNECTED: A Personal Journal for Ketamine Therapy Created by writer & patient Katherine Davis for this powerful clinical treatment. If considering ketamine for major depression, check out this essential tool.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

Discover more from The Bloggess

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading