UPDATED: Leg Three!

in Let's Pretend This Never Happened, Random Crap

Updated:  The Chicago stop sold out so they’re adding another one.  I’ll have details soon.

Leg three of my book tour starts in a few weeks and I have nothing witty to say here.

Leg three
But in spite of my lack of witticisms I would LOVE it if you’d come to see me on my last week on the road.  Here’s where I’ll be in two weeks:

Wednesday, June 6 at 7pm ~ Montclair, NJ

Thursday, June 7th ~ Blogworld NY

Friday, June 8th at 7pm ~ Brookline, MA

Sunday, June 10th at 2pm ~ Chicago, IL

**********

In non-related news, my friend (Kara) knit me a Gryffindor scarf for Ron Weasely.  And he also got a red wig.

A ridiculous, ridiculous red wig.

It might need trimming for historical accuracy.

IMG_2465

**********

Still nothing witty to add.  I apologize.  I’m not quite myself today.  I blame Ron Weasely’s wig.  To make it up to you I’m giving away a few copies of the Australian, UK  and audio versions of my book.  Just leave a comment telling me which one you want, y’all.

1,117 thoughts on “UPDATED: Leg Three!”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Not yourself today? Is there just one version of you we’re supposed to have??? I’m going to have an audio book one day regardless of if you send it to me or if I use my own damn gumption to get it. Have a wonderful Wednesday lovely lady!

  3. I would love the UK version. I have the ebook and love it!!! By the way, when I was a kid my mom also made us wear breadbags over our shoes, but only when it snowed. I know, crazy, right?

  4. AUDIO! AUDIO! AUDIO! I can’t read while I’ve got the laughter-tears streaming down my face!

  6. Australian. I want to hear about squirrel corpse puppets in an Australian voice.. in my head. K, thanks.

  11. Fear not, dearest Bloggess, you need not be pithy every moment of every day. That would just become tired and unbelievable. You rock, regardless of your updating status. And if I had my druthers, I’d choose the UK version, if that is an option. Don’t feel like you have to send it. Just if you wanna…

  18. audio, audio, audio! The only thing better than this book would be you reading it! 🙂

  19. Oh, that’s cute. I love the little doll in the right back hand corner

  22. UK version, please. 🙂
    Hope you’re feeling yourself soon…as opposed to going round feeling up other people…’cause if they didn’t consent then it becomes a bit tricky for you…
    …just ask first, K?

  23. UK! I’ve already had to order 3 copies of your book for family members. 🙂

  26. It’s like Carrot Top and Ron Weasley somehow conceived a rodent love child with an affinity for 80s hair bands.

    Oh…and I’d love the audio version!

  27. I always look forward to reading your blog during the day. It’s like that ray of sunshine you wait for after the terrible down pour of reality. I would love the audio book. I have a 16 month old son and by the time I attempt to read at night I am so completely exhausted that my eyes can’t even stay propped up. I have an hour commute every day and listening to your book would make that drive a happy trails adventure with all my imaginary car poolers.

  30. Hope you feel better soon! And I wish you’d come back to LA. I couldn’t make your signing when you came out here. I was working that night. 🙁

    I’d love to toss my hat in the ring for the audio book!

    <3,
    -J

  32. I would adore an audio copy of your book. I have been reading parts of your book to my friends and family so it would be amazing to hear it in your voice! 🙂

  33. Audio! I have the book, but I so want to have you read it to me! Plus, OUT TAKES! I’ll end up buying it if I don’t win it. Either way, I must hear it!

  34. I’m still waiting for you to announce your Canadian tour 😀

  35. Oh Jenny, you just posted a photo of a Ron Weasely wearing some kind of 80s hair metal wig, you may be tired and wrung out but you are still totally you.

    I wouldn’t say no to the Aus version but (and I feel like a cruel bitch asking this of you when you are clearly exhausted from being on the road…) I would much rather see you in person in Toronto. Pretty please…you can sleep through it and I’ll do the reading pretending to be you…and everyone would buy you donuts from Tim Hortons. Though I guess since I’d be doing the reading and everyone would think I was you, and think that the real you was just some narcoleptic fan then I would be getting the donuts, but I would share.

    I don’t think I’m quite myself today either.

  37. I would LOVE a UK version of your book! Just to hear it in an English accent would be so amazingly hilarious! And I love Ron’s wig. he should have rocked that look in the movie. <3

  39. Audio! Please so I can listen in my car and laugh my ass off while the folks next to me stare and think I’m insane!

  40. It may be the weather. I find that it the weather sucks my creativity dry, like some sort of creativity sucking vampire, only it’s the weather and I’m me. Anyhow, I’d take an audio version, because I already have it in awesome book format, if I were to win (which is highly unlikely due to my rather remarkable skill at losing). YAY! RAMBLY!

  44. Who cares what version it is? I just have to get my hands on it. Hope you get to feeling better

  46. I would love the audio version because it’s hard to read on my phone while I’ve got a glass of wine in one hand & I’m chasing the toddler (who causes me to need wine) around the house!!!

  47. I’d love the audiobook, but either one would be awesome.

    In any case, how about going back home from Chicago going through Kansas City and Oklahoma? I just added OK to bribe you, since Dr Pants are there. But of course I can offer you something special here in Kansas, of course.

  49. Ooh, audio please! I’m on the hold list at my library, but they haven’t even purchased it yet, alas.

    Ron Weasely looks very dashing with his new accoutrements!

  50. Ron Weasely is looking a little Herminone-weasely in that wig, yo. I’d love a UK version of your book for my British ex-pat hubz, who sadly did not go to Hogwarts.

  51. i would LOVE an audio copy of your book. even though you aren’t feeling yourself you are still awesome 😉 good luck on the third leg of your tour!

    oh and the wig kinda makes ron weasely look like he is trying to be in an 80s rock/hair band. just saying 😀

  52. UK version please!!! The cover is so pretty! And, Ron Weasely’s wig is enough to make anyone have an off day 🙂

  53. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaudio!

    I missed you when you were in MD because my ankle won’t let me drive for more than 20 minutes right now (sprained it roller skating) but I heard you were hilarious and the only problem was that it should have been longer 😉

  54. You have three legs! Amazeballs! If you get a fourth one, could it be in the UK? Ok thanks.

  55. PLEASE come to Seattle!!!! 🙂 Ron is rockin’ the Carrot Top look fur sure! 😉

  56. I want to read the Aussie version and find out if goats get switched to dingos and if it’s Stanley, the Magic Wallaby instead.

  60. Pick up 30 cases of self tanner while in Montclair. Because in New Jersey, the rivers run bronze!
    But I’m pretty sure that’s only due to all of the dead guidos dumped in them.

  61. Fell Better- I’m sure you are exhusted! We all love what you are doing fo us- Going all over the country so your crazy fans can have you sign prescription bottles, boobs, have 911 called (Dallas, cough, cough)!

    UK Audio Version Please 🙂
    (Wouldnt it be great if you did it all in your worst English accent! ha)

  62. Audioooooo! Please. And now I have to figure out how to get to Boston in June. I’m thinking you’ll still be too far away for this time of year (end of school). Western NY. Western NY. Western NY. Please?

  63. I’d still like an audio, and the center part in that red wig is very chic. I will TRY to get to Brookline. To bring my book that’s already signed. So you can add punctuation, or a smiley face, or bitemarks, or something…

  66. I will gladly trim your weasel’s wig for you. <— Man if I had a nickel for every time I said that! I'd have like, 5 cents.

    Does your Aussie audiobook have you doing an Australian accent? Because I would put ALL the shrimps on the barbie for that awesomeness.

  67. I would LOVE an audio copy. I pre-ordered the print version, laughed until I peed while reading it, then laughed even harder at your signing in Atlanta.
    Not that you would remember but you signed my Copernicus shirt and you kindly told me I am photogenic. But really, you are the beautiful one….inside and out!
    Thank you for this blog…the offer of your sudio version has prompted me to come out of lurk-dom and make my first comment.

  69. ANY VERSION FOR ME, PLEASE!!!

    And I am highly dissappointed that Orlando is STILL not part of your book tour. We aren’t THAT far from TX, you know….

  71. I blame Ron’s wig as well. Perhaps a potion class has gone awry. Or maybe he’s been caught trying on Ermione’s wig. Perhaps he’s questioning some of his life choices. Maybe he’s just a little overwhelmed and a giant red wig is his version of a red dress.

    Some days are giant red wig days.

    (Also, UK version for the purdy.)

  72. I would love to hear your tome read to me in your dulcet tones.

  77. Chicago …. That’s getting closer to Minnesota 🙂 so I still have hope! I’d love a chance for audio version of your book 🙂

  78. Audio s’il vous plait. I guess there’s no chance your tour will hit the far north in Canada? I’d send you a stuffed moose or black bear to encourage a visit but where would you put it? Wouldn’t want to overshadow Beyonce… and also I imagine the shipping costs would be prohibitive. Thanks for your book!
    (we call our vultures “mosquitos” up here. they are the same size, look it up, it’s true, I swear)
    Tracy

  81. Audio, please! It’s the least you can do for not coming to San Diego!!! =)

  82. Oh. No. Ron Weasely IS Aubrey O’Day OR Pippi Longstocking without the braids. I need consider this over a shot of vodka. Either way – genius.

  83. OOh, I can haz audio version? Also, I very much appreciate knowing what Ron Weasley would look like as a hippy, uh, weasel.

  84. Please give Ron a haircut. He’s dangerously close to being mistaken for Carrot Top.
    Oh, and if I’m the lucky winner, winner, chicken dinner, i wouldst greatly appreciate the Audio Book.
    I’m pretty sure I have your voice in my head, I just wanna do a cross check for verification.

  85. UK please. I hope you have a fun time in the New England area. The weather up here is rather fickle so you might want to bring shorts for one day and then a snow jacket for the next. 🙂 So far it’s been grand outside, but I’m used to the mild weather.
    -Red

  87. For some reason I interpreted that as if you had made UK and Australian audiobook versions of your book, presumably with you recording it with a different fake accent for each. Not only did I think that was perfectly normal, but my first reaction was to wonder if you were planning on recording a Canadian version as well. How aboot it ,eh? So, yes, please send me a Canadian audiobook version.

  88. Audio please! Hearing you read it out loud would be all kinds of awesome. Though maybe not as much fun as hearing you read it out loud while watching your police escort try to keep a straight face was. That rocked sideways.

  90. Totally Audio so I can hear how awesome you were at pretending you were awesome at recording audio books 🙂

  91. I am reading the book right now. It is hilarious and difficult to find a stopping point! Good luck on the rest of your book tour. I am confident that you will think of funny things to say.

  94. I recently ordered your book online (the paper version in case there is a pole shift or an EMP or for some reason the world goes to hell, I will still be laughing) but I’d LOVE to hear the audio 🙂

  96. Brookline! Yay!!!

    I think I’d like the audio book, too, even if I do find the UK cover of the book to be deliciously creepy, in an Edward Gorey kind of way (that’s not disparaging – I love me some Edward Gorey).

  97. I’d be happy with any of them, but if I really have to choose, the UK. Thank you so much for doing what you do, from bringing awareness to depression and anxiety to making people smile through all of your stories.

  98. Audio! I can laugh out loud at work and everyone will think I love my job!

  99. The audio version would be awesome, because then I could follow along in the book while you read it to me. In your own voice! (I’m still cracking up from the scam phone call I got regarding a “problem with the Windows computer”. The guy told me I could see the problem on screen with my own eyes! I asked him who else’s he thought I might use.)

    By the way, I have seen your book in the wild at a Chapters book store in Newfoundland, Canada. Just thought you’d like to know.

  100. I would LOVE the audio book.

    I hope you feel better soon!

  101. Today, I won a MAJOR battle in my ongoing war with depression and anxiety. In addition to my parents, loved ones and doctors I also wanted to tell you, because you have been such a beacon of hope to me in this last year. You are inspiring, you are amazing, and you have given me strength when I needed it most. If you just wanted to put the cherry on this epic sundae of a day, I’d be thrilled with an audiobook or a UK version, but seriously, this day is already amazing. I now feel the need to make a taco medal for myself. Oh, PS, I’m the weirdo who gave you a taco medal in Houston ; )

  102. AUDIO! I sure do hope you get back to feelin’ like yourself really soon!!!! xoxox

  103. I would love to have an Australian copy of your book. I have my Kindle version, but there’s nothing like holding a real book in your hands…especially an Australian copy! It’d be a first for me. Thank you for writing and blogging. You’ve inspired me to continue on with my blogging; even if only a handful of friends and family read.

  105. I do believe that Ron stole his wig from one of the Ronettes. (groan. I sincerely apologize for that.) Also, I would dearly love an audio copy of the book. I have read 3/4 of the book so far, and am saving the last little bit as a treat to myself.

  107. Dang! I’m coming home from Chicago one day before you are there. Bummer. Come to Memphis, TN. We have a great independent bookstore called Burke’s Books (small place, but it’s cool & in my awesome neighborhood of Cooper-Young.) I can get you their info. if you like…just email me.
    Oh, I already have the audiobook, but if you were coming to town, I’d get a hard copy too just to meet you and have you sign it. 😀

  108. I would like anything, then I can say Jenny Lawson gave me something, something special!

  109. Audio audio audio. When I was little, I used to say video video video really fast to my little brother who, for some reason, found it terrifying. He’s in his 30s now and laughs about it. Until I start doing it again. And then he asks me to stop.

    Try it: saying video over and over fast. It’s fun. It makes your mouth do fun things and it’s wildly annoying and distracting for those around you, which I see as a bonus.

  110. I don’t want one. What I DO want is a Tribe Jenny shirt. Or Bloggess Tribe. Or well.. I’m sure you get the picture. Now see? You’ve got a distraction. Back to your old self in no time.

    I genuflect in your general direction… (south west), Chief Jenny.

    Me like’um. Heap big.

    Later, Doll….

  111. Audio version, please! It would complement my print version oh so nicely! I almost said “video,” which then put the Kidd Video theme song into my head. Anyone remember Kidd Video? Back when Saturday mornings were the only time cartoons were on tv. Kidd was so cute, real and cartoon versions.

  112. Audio, please!! The wig is a nice thought, but it’s a bit of a beast. It’d get me down too. Have fun bringing your version of reality to the East Coast!!

  113. Wish you were coming through Charlotte, NC! I would love to have a copy of the audio book.

  114. I’m still holding my breath and hoping you’ll completely lose your mind and come to Phoenix in Summer so I can meet you. That said I’d love a copy of the audio version. I wanna hear those outtakes!

  115. UK version for me pretty please!! 😀

    Hope you are feeling yourself soon. I understand how you feel….

  116. Any chance you’ll be coming to Canada??? Like to Toronto, Ottawa or Montreal? Pretty, pretty please!? (I can’t make it if it’s in Vancouver, BC ’cause that’s like a 7 hour plane ride away… Hubs says it’s too expensive… jerk.)

  117. That is a pretty magnificent wig .. maybe Ronald Weasely is just channeling his inner Fabio. I’d love to get any of the print versions of your book! It looks beyond funny.

  118. When I’m not feeling myself these days, I read your book. (So the audio version would double my options!)

  119. I SO want the UK version, because I love the curly letters on the front. Or the audiobook, because I want to hear you read it. Or the Australian version, because then I’d imagine you reading it in an Australian accent with Texan undertones. Any of those would make me ecstatic.

    A friend of mine recommended your blog to me a few months ago. It was hilarious. So I had to read every entry in order, starting with June 2007. I just got up to date. That same friend is waiting for me to do something for him, but I haven’t had time, since I’ve been working and, um, reading your blog. He has nobody to blame but himself, because he really should have known that this would happen.

  120. I would love to have the UK edition of your book. The cover is fantastic.
    Glad your tour is going well, and hope you feel more like yourself soon!

  121. Hey – you could take the train (The City of New Orleans) straight down from Chicago. It’s an overnight trip…get a sleeper car and byob. Seriously…it’s kinda on your way back home…

  122. I would kill for an audio version! Not literally, of course, but if necessary I can be talked into all kinds of things! It was SO amazing hearing just that one chapter in your own voice in MD, and I totally already hear it in your voice in my own head. Which is ALMOST as much fun as having it, but not quite.

    Feel more like yourself (or somebody else, whatever floats your boat), get your relax on, and have an awesome time on your next leg!

  123. Chicago!!!! I can get to Chicago. But there is a stuffed lioness in a Ramada lobby here in Milwaukee that you really should see. PLUS the first diorama for natural history display is here too. The famed muskrat display. You must come to Milwaukee! In the name of taxidermy you must come to Milwaukee!

  124. I’d love the UK version. I also cannot think of anything witty to say today. 🙂

  126. I’d love the UK version…pretty please with sugar on top!!

    p.s. Come to Fort Wayne, Indiana on your next tour!!! I can guarantee you that all the girls in my office will flock to see you! That’s 5 people–it’s all you need. Think about it…

  127. Audio book please. Though I’m not sure I will be able to handle what I imagine will be the pain in your voice while reading the dead babies chapter. I almost didn’t make it through.

  128. AUDIO! Hearing you read the book will definitely help keep me awake on my long drive home after late classes!!!

  129. I’d love the UK or Australian version. Though audio would be cool, too. I’m not picky.

  130. YEAH, finally! So awesome, can’t wait! Hope you get some rest in between those legs! Wait, that didn’t sound right… 😉

  131. I love the wig! But, uh, did your friend confuse Ron Weasely with CarrotTop because that is some serious hair action going on! I been dying to buy your book, so thank you for giving me something to read on the plane to our honeymoon!

  132. The audio version. So that I can share your book with my husband. Who won’t read a book to save his life. (But his drawings and sense of humor are crazy awesome!)

  133. I’d love an UK version, so I could read it with Ron Weseal-y accuracy.

  140. I would love one of the UK books! Are you going to try to find a tiny frog for Ron like he had on the train when he met Harry? 🙂

  141. I would love the audiobook. Laughed out loud when I heard the clip, people around me were wondering what was going on.

  142. Uk version please! 🙂 Loved it on my Kindle, would love a real book to hold and share!

  144. Looking forward to meeting you on the 8th of June! My fiancee and I have been anxiously awaiting your book tour’s swing up this way!

  147. I would love a print copy any print copy please 🙂 and as for your tour you are going 1 town over from where i grew up 🙁 I wish with all my heart I could be there. Maybe for leg 4 some where in central or north Florida? Jacksonville, Orlando, Gainesville, St. Augustine? somewhere not 6 hours away.

  148. Ron Weasley’s wig makes him look a little too much like Carrot Top, I think. A strange mash-up, to be sure.

    oh, and AUDIO

    <3

  149. Wittiness seems to come and go. Mine is currently out of commission as well, which is what apparently happens when you transcribe and code interviews for research. But if I were to get your audio book, I’d have something funny to listen to that I won’t need to transcribe since I already have the transcript in hardcover. 🙂

  151. Aussie please, I love everything that has the tiniest hint of Oz attached to it 🙂

  152. So few people have stuffed weasels with nice wigs. And that scarf is just lovely. Exactly what the well-dressed weasels are wearing this season.

  153. I would love an audio version but what would be even better is an audio version with you doing a really bad British accent. Is that possible? Because that would be awesome. But yeah, audio please.

  154. I would love any of those versions!! I am curious to know the difference from the US version. I assume the Australian one is printed upside down.

  155. Holy shit, leg three, you have three legs? Are you kidding? Are you a child of thalidomide or something? Oh, I kid I kid, I can see you’re having a wonderful time.

  156. I would love to hear your inflections to these stories – audio version for sure.

  157. How is the “historical accuracy” comment not witty? Would love love love the audio version.

  159. Oh, I would love the audio version, for sure! I have finished you book (fan-freaking-tastic), but I would love to hear it in your own words/voice!

  160. Audio please! <3 I'm so glad I got to see you in Gaithersburg. You were of course, amazing as always! <3

  161. I want the U.K. version of your book.

    The print version in the Queen’s English.

    Where Beyonce is named Pip and your Dad only stuffs Royals.

    And I want Ron’s red wig.

    Or a stuffed Royal in the red wig.

    Preferably Charles.

  163. WHOOPEE!!!! You’re coming to MA. You are SO on my calendar, girl! Will you sign my arm? (since your book is on my kindle… 😉 )

  166. Good luck with the 3rd leg of your tour! I’m bummed I didn’t get to go see you when you were out here in LA, but such is life. And by the way, Ron Weasely looks like he’s channeling the awesome redheaded girl from Pixar’s new movie ‘Brave’.

    And ps. a UK edition of your book would be fantastic… just sayin’.

  167. Any version of you is still a great version of you! Buck up buttercup….or some other witty saying that won’t do anything but make you annoyed or think on buttercups and what they are exactly. I mean butter is good. So’s a cup. How do you drink without one? So does that make a buttercup good? Hmm. Anyway, I’d love a UK audio version.

  168. Audio, please. I heard you speak in Annapolis, but I want the entire experience in your very own voice. (Psst, I’m STILL not really a stalker. I realize my case is getting weaker and weaker on this point).

  170. I’m not myself either; now that I realize I won’t see you on tour…

    I reckon you’re just going to have to come to visit for the weekend.

  171. I’m so furiously happy that you are coming to Boston!
    And I would love an audio version, please!

  172. I’m totally bummed you’re not coming to Denver. It’s a really nice place, and it’s not too far from Boulder, so you’re guaranteed to have people come to see you who are weirder than you could ever imagine.

    I already have your book, so if you pick my name, please give the book to the next homeless person you see. Their signs always say “anything helps,” and a book is smack-dab in the middle of that category.

  174. So excited you are coming to Massachusetts. Both my mother and I are huge fans of the blog and book so we will be there!

  176. Yay! Brookline! I live right down the street from the Booksmith! Unfortunately I’ll be out of the country when you are there 🙁 I think the audio book would make up for me not being able to see you live.

  177. After looking forward to having you visit my town, Annapols, I ended up missing the chance to come see you. Thanks Mom for making me take you to the ER and spending the night in the hospital…Don’t let that influence your decision though, unless it does, then audio book please 🙂

  179. Audio! Please please please! Haven’t been able to afford any version yet and an audiobook I could listen to during my delivery job would be AMAZING and make work infinitely more cheerful!

  180. I came to leave a comment about your tour and lookie I get to be in a drawing for AUDIO VERSION please.

    ok now then.. I *knew* you’d so be here for Boston Pride week! You are in Brookline on the 8th, the Boston Pride march is on June 9th. Come. Ride. With. Us!!!

    eastcoastbikerchicks.com 🙂

    we lead the parade and I’ll be on my Harley!

    comecomecomecomecomecomecome.please? I’m coming to the signing, you can’t miss me. butch. grey hair. non-blending material. and if it’s nice I’ll be on the bike.
    think it over until then. 🙂

  181. I’d love the U.K version please. I could hear you using a Texas/English accent as I read it. Sweet!
    I’m proud of your success. Attagirl!

  182. I would love, love, LOVE the audio version since you’re the narrator.

  183. I would love the UK version. So unhappy I missed you in Houston.

  184. So excited you are coming somewhere not too far from where Im at in Kenosha. Will you be bringing Hamlet von Schnitzel with? Cant wait to meet you!

  185. Audio please, and I will take you any way I can get you. Wait, I didn’t mean that…well, I meant that, but not the way it sounded. Okay, maybe the way it sounded but I certainly didn’t mean to say it out loud. Pass the hooch.

  186. A copy of the audiobook would be delightful. Also, perhaps one day you’ll visit Pittsburgh on a book tour. =) You’ve definitely got some fans in the Steel City!

  188. Audio would be cool! I have your book on hold at the library, but would love to listen to it. Maybe it would teach my 18-month old some choice new words?!
    Also, come to Portland!
    Oregon, that is.
    We love you.

  189. I’d be grateful for any version you would be willing to send me. It looks like everyone is pretty stoked about the UK & Audio versions, so I’d be more than happy to take an Australian version off your hands!

  190. So does that mean you put on an accent for the different countries? I am totally confused but would sooo love to win.

  192. UK Version. The script on the UK front cover is making my font-nerdy heart squee.

  193. Could I please have the UK version? Haven’t been able to find your book in the U.S. yet.

  195. It’s ok to not be witty sometimes. Can’t let the bar get too high, because then… you can’t reach the whiskey? I don’t know where I was going with that. Anywhoo, I’ve read the book twice now, so I’m gonna ask for the audio because I want to hear it how YOU read it, not the people in my head. THANK YOU for being you, witty or not!

  200. I just finished the book and immediately lent it to my sister, who is already well into it. I would love to actually hear it read via audio-book!

  205. Audio version, definitely! I wish I could’ve attended your Gaithersburg event, but life got in the way 🙁 Good luck with the 3rd leg of your tour!

  207. So at some point in the tour we need to get thee more south of Annapolis, more north of any part of VA, to be smack dab in DC. AND THEN I’M THERE!

    Also, I want either the audio or physical version. I’m begging and beggars cannot be choosy, as my mother says. Well, she’s actually wrong (as usual); they can be: the homeless woman outside the Metro who declined food when her sign clearly read “Hungry. Will die tonight without some sort of food” said “I don’t eat that shit” when offered a sandwich someone had from home.

  208. I would love either the audio version or Australian. Because they have wombats in Australia and a disturbing lack of waffles.

  209. Ron’s wig makes him look like Merida from that new Pixar movie Brave. Just saying.

    And the audio version would be awesome if you pick me 🙂

  212. I’d like the audio version since I’ve already purchased the book. Plus I can fall asleep to the sound of your voice… er uhm… insert something less creepy here.

  213. I wish you were coming all the way up to Milwaukee, I’ll have to try to get my butt to your Chicago stop!
    If I were to win, I’d take the UK version.

  214. Oh yay! You’ll be here for the Printer’s Row Lit Fest! (Wow, I just realized that’s one letter away from a WHOLE different kind of festival…though no less fun, I’m sure.) See you there!

    I’d opt for audio since I’ve already bought two print copies (one for me, one for my mom so she’d give me mine back).

  215. OMG – I would LOVE an audio version! You reading the Series of helpful post it notes for my husband would be priceless!

  217. Yay! I love giveaways! I wish you were coming to Seattle though. Or have you? I’m not myself today either.

    At any rate, if I’m lucky enough to win, I’ll take an audio version, please.

  218. UK please?! You’ve given us enough wit for several more days, I think… enjoy the tour!

  219. The UK version would be most lovely if you happen to choose me. triple thanks in advance.

    And Ron’s wig looks amazing, that’s how I’d imagine he’d look in the book,you know, if he were in a heavy metal band. Or something.

  221. I’d love an audio version!! It was so awesome when you came to Atlanta btw!

  222. Audio! I can’t listen to music when I’m walking the dog because it throws off my stride, and since we kind of live in the ghetto, laughing hysterically for no reason helps keep the muggers from bothering to try and steal my poop bags.

  223. Wish your tour was going to bring you to the great white north up here in Canada!! I suppose my hurt could be soothed with a copy of the audio book! 🙂

    P.S. That’s how I imagine Ron Weasley would look during his 80s hair band phase….

  224. Audio please. I saw you in Atlanta and you were awesome. I wish I could be as awesome as you.

    Seriously.

    I may have a tiny lesbian crush on you. Maybe.

  225. I want to hear you, so I prefer audio!
    connie
    Ps, If you aren’t quite you, who else are you?

  227. I wants a book. Gives me one of those “you have to turn the pages and read it” type books or the “stick it in and push play” kind. I am not picky. = )

    p.s. I have been officially upgraded from homeless to a home on wheels. My dog Rupert and I bought our very first car today. It was so scary and exciting. Yay! us. Maybe next time you go on tour I can drive somewhere and find you and wave from a distance because I will be too nervous to come up and say hi.

    “Don’t Leave” … bestest advice ever!

  228. I would LOVE a copy of the audiobook. Especially since I will be going to Boston in June and plane travel makes me extremely anxious but it must be done because I am officiating at a wedding and it would be awesome to have you reading to me on the plane.

    I gave my Mom a copy of your book for Mother’s Day. I haven’t really heard from her since then. I don’t know if this means she’s not speaking to me or laughed herself hoarse (or, God Forbid, to death). She told me she expected to get some insight into my psyche from reading the book, since I tell her all the time how well I relate to what you write about.

  229. Audio version so I can listen to it in the car and hopefully run into jogger who regrets eating a cookie, then I have an excuse I can blame it on laughing too hard to see the skinny bitch. The cops would understand that… right???

  230. Seeing you in Charlotte was wonderful last week! Thanks so much for signing my metal chicken! I would LOVE to have the audio version of your book!

  231. I wish you could come to Klagenfurt, Austria so that I could have you sign my book! You are my favorite woman in the world second only to Condoleeza Rice (I mean c’mon with that bad ass name (I am only judging based on names – to make my favorite woman in the world contest fair)). I am probably going to rig the intercom of my German speaking school and make them all listen to me read it to them, they will be unwilling at first but they would become enamored with you, erecting Jenny Lawson statues, and then attempting to find you. All of Austria would become obsessed with you and nominate you to rule their country in a communistic style.
    It will benefit you greatly.

  232. Still no Denver?!? *sob* A copy of the audio book might help make up for that oversight. Maybe.

  233. UK version. Or any of them. Why is the UK cover so much more whimsical and lovely on the cover than the US version? Are Brits more open to whimsy than we are?

  234. For all y’all who can get to a reading, DO IT. I am still appreciating hearing your material, Jenny, in your own voice a few weeks ago when you were over here in the paradise that is the San Francisco Bay Area. I don’t need an audio book, just wanted to say damn, you’re awesome. XO

  235. Take a break. Eat some every flavor beans.

    If I were to win an audio book, I’d be very happy.

  237. Uk! I have to say, I think Ron Weasley looks a lot more like Hermione now! What with the length and texture!

  238. I would so so so SO LOVE an audiobook!!
    Again, need something to keep me sane-ish in the lab. Or at least make me giggle until I don’t care. Either will work.

  239. Audio book! My eight year old son has already picked up the book with the cute mouse on the front and started reading.

  242. Would be grateful for an audio copy. My husband and I love your blog! He brought me a double unicorn success club t-shirt for me for mother’s day. You are touching lots of lives, I hope you know.

  243. I would love an audio copy of your book. I wish me of your dates was in Ontario so I could be close enough to come and see you.

  247. Jenny! I’m so disappointed! The day you’ll be in Boston I’ll be in New York visiting my Swiss friend. Any chance you’ll be coming back? Life is so unfair.

  248. OH MY GOSH! I’m so excited you will be in Brookline!! Can’t wait to see you!

    And please may I have the UK version of your book? That would be jolly badass!

    Accio Jenny!

  250. I would love an audio version! Or UK. Or Aussie. But audio is my first choice.

  251. Any of the above. I haven’t been able to fit one into the budget yet and my “new book” change jar keeps getting raided by my teenagers. The wait is killing me! Well, maybe not killing me but it is definately making me twitch.

  253. Please Please Please come to Washington!! We NEED you here! I will even buy a hardcopy (already got my kindle version) of your book for you to sign!

  254. I’m thrilled I might get to see you in Montclair AND at the Blog Expo in NYC!

    (Hoping for the audio book.)

  256. I would love any version of your books. 🙂 I still think you’re absolutely amazing for doing this tour. Way to be a rock star.

    Ron looks like he’s gone all hippie, with a permanent wave. But it all strangely fits in with the dolls in the background.

  257. Do you have UK or Australian versions of the audio book? Cause that would be pretty sweet if you read the whole book to us in an accent. If not, I would still like an audio book in your lovely voice. Wish you were coming to Seattle! Next book?

  261. You mustn’t cut his hair! Like Samson, he’ll lose all his power!

    BTW, Audio me!

  262. HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHITYOU’RECOMINGTOCHICAGOANDIT’SREAL

    HOLYSHITHOLYSHITHOLYSHIT

    Oh, if I win, audio, but I don’t need to win because I’m already winning because OMG YOU’RE COMING TO CHICAGO AND IT’S REAL OMG.

  263. The Weasely wig is more like “Sideshow Bob”–imagine the Simpsons episode in which he sings the whole score to HMS Pinafore to Bart for the best contextualisation…

  264. I desperately want the audio book. I’ve heard from all my bloggy friends who have been lucky enough to see you on your book tour that your book is even funnier when you read it. Besides, it will make the lives of truckers more exciting if I listen to your book while driving down the interstate…laughing and crying.

  265. I’d love an audio version! (p.s. was sooooo bummed I didn’t get a chance to come see you last weekend in G’burg!! Darn kids mucked everything up!)

  266. Actually, if we’re talking Ron Weasley circa Goblet of Fire, the wig is accurate… he could’ve given Ariel a run for her money with that hair.

  268. I welcome Ron’s copper tresses to the redhead collective.
    Also – were you so inclined an audiobook would be spiffy (as I already own and have read the hardcover).
    I really enjoyed the short audio clip you shared with a few weeks ago.
    Also – still waiting for the Northwest leg of your tour. 😉

  269. Just ordered your book. So glad it’s available in a Dutch bookstore. Looking forward to reading it. Love your blog.

  270. I would adore the audio version. Almost as much as I adore you. But since it’s you reading it… Does that mean I’d adore it all the more?

  271. JUNE 8–are you kidding me? The one day I can absolutely NOT be there because of middle school graduation???? Come on! Karma–you ARE a bitch and I HATE you!!!

  273. I, Too have nothing witty to say. I do know that a UK version of your audio book would make driving to my PGCE placement a lot more enjoyable.

  274. Oh, audio, without question 🙂
    But, you can add questions if you like 🙂 🙂

  276. I just may have to come see you in Chicago. I would love the audio tape book.

  279. Audio Book, please! I would love to be able to hear your expressions with all of your stories. You rocked it in Gaithersburg last weekend!!

  280. I want the Australian version, because my Australian best friend is about to move back to her home country and abandon me – your book might make her absence a little easier to bear.

    btw, congrats on all your success!!!

  281. You started a sentence with “Leg Three” and couldn’t come up with a joke for that? IT’S A THIRD LEG, JENNY!!

    I’m worried.

    Should we send help?

  284. These are the moments when you seem so very real and unapologetically human to me. These are the moments, when your tempo changes for no specific reason, that I see myself in. Where I know that every part of me, the ups, downs, and all arounds, are pretty fabulous too in their own way. No reason or excuse necessary. Thanks for sharing all of you with all of us.

  286. So sorry you are not feeling quite yourself today. Feel better soon.. I would love any version of your book, prefer hands on.

  288. Always okay to be just who you are. It helps, though, if who you are is a renowned bestselling author 🙂 I’m happy with anything free you want to throw at me. Though, I guess I would choose the audio because it would probably hurt less when it hit me in the face.

  289. I would love the Australian or UK version. Thanks for making me laugh!

  290. I would love the audio version! 🙂 Hope you are feeling back to your normal self soon.

  291. I heard you/met you in San Angelo, Tx and encourage everyone to make an effort if you are anywhere close. An experience not to be missed. I would love the audio book so I could keep you in my car for when I need a good laugh/pick-me-up!

  292. I am still hoping for the audio version. My library isn’t carrying the audio and I would LOVE to listen to it.

  294. Audio version please. The author reading her own story is awesome!
    Thanks for being you; you bring smiles to many, many faces.

  296. Audio please — I want to hear if the reading of it by someone outside my head is as funny as the words I hear in my head!

  298. That wig is hideously awesome. 😉

    An audio version would be so cool!

  300. My first thought when I saw that picture was, “Why is Ron cross-dressing as Hermione?” That wig would be PERFECT for her, if it were a little more brown. :o)

    And if I’m lucky enough to get picked – UK version please! Or the audio. :o)

  301. M.U.S.T. H.A.V.E. A.U.D.I.O. V.E.R.S.I.O.N. *If you had the audio version of me reading my comment, I would sound like a zombie. It is a gateway to the apocalypse. There honestly is no other way to read it. In fact, you just read it in your own zombie voice and can feel a certain apocalyptic breeze through the crack under the door. I’m sorry.

  303. I would LOVE an audio book!
    When you coming to Cleveland, OH???? You have no tour dates here and i’m seriously sad!!!

  304. Ron Weasley’s wig will need the hair straightened as well – or a story about why he suddenly has curls!

    I would love the UK version, I think the more whimsical cover is adorable.

  305. AUDIO please! I must hear your voice telling me your stories as I hear your voice in my head as I read anyway! BTW…could you add just ONE more leg to your tour…the Pacific Northwest LOVES you, and if you came to, say, Walla Walla, Washington or La Grande, Oregon, I GUARANTEE at least two people would show up! 😉

  310. And I really need to remember that text emoticons change into images here as my “smile” comes out as a surprised face! 🙂

  311. I am coming to Chicago!!!!

    (and I would LOVE to hear the singing on the audio book! please, please!!!)

  315. Aww maybe you’ll come to CT on leg 4?? Wait, does that mean your book tour will take on some sort of animal persona then (4 legs…)?

    I’m going to be taking a 10 hour road trip next month, I’d love the audio version to help pass the time driving!

  319. OPLEASEOPLEASEOPLEASE pick me! I need to hear you sing the titles on the audiobook! (but if that’s already gone, I’ll take the whimsicle UK edition!)

  320. OMG!! There’s a possibility I can come see you at Printer’s Row! Wooeee!!!

    Also, where is the picture of you with 3 legs?

  322. Your book is on my list of many to read and/or listen to! Would love the audio version!

  323. I wish you were going to be in the Phoenix Area. I would love to pick up you book directly from you! I would like to UK version if i win 🙂

  324. PLEASE, for the love of God and all things holy, please bestow an audiobook to me!! I’m whimsy, I swear I am!! 🙂

  325. UK version… audio version… ARGH. @.@

    Sad thing is my parents asked what present I want for my Nameday tomorrow and everything I want would have to be bought online from abroad and they’re just not able to do it ARGH.

  328. The audio version of your book would officially make me the coolest person I know!

  330. I would love to have the audio book. But more importantly, I wish I could get you a “Harry Otter” for your collection. But when I looked up taxidery otters…well the price was a bit steep. But my heart was in the right place!

  331. Pretty please can I have the audio version. We are driving to NOLA this summer and that would rule. Because I love you!

  332. Cannot wait until you come to Massachusetts!! I’m halfway through your book, but I fully plan on being finished with it by June 8th. If you’re giving away audio books, I’d love one of those because I won’t lie – I dislike reading, but you’re book is just too freaking awesome to NOT read (hence why I caved and am reading it). See you in 2.5 weeks! I’ll have to start thinking of some strange, yet notable, gift to give you……

  333. Audio would be lovely then I can make my boyfriend listen to it in the car on long trips (like maybe to Chicago to see you on the last week of your tour!) and we can hear it waaaaaaay too much together!
    We’ll bond, it’ll be wonderful!

  334. Hi Jenny, I would LOVE a copy of the Australian version!

    Just wanted to say too how great it is to hear updates on the tour and how fabulously well your book is doing!! 🙂

  335. I would be up for the Audio version. I’ll still be at your Chicago signing to buy a book and get it autographed!

  337. i would like the UK or Australia version because I spent half my honeymoon reading my kindle version on the toilet bowl

  338. I would like the audio version of your book please. Or the UK copy of the book, either would be cool. 🙂

    In case the sob story will help my chances, both my remaining grandparents just died in the past 10 days and I could use a laugh, so the book would really help me not be a miserable git right now.

  341. OMG, OMG, OMG, you’re coming to my neighborhood! I’m all a-flutter. I get to meet the funniest person on the Internet in actual person in Montclair, NJ. I’m so excited. You don’t have to give me any kind of free book because I need to buy one at Watchung Booksellers in Montclair. (I think I’ll buy the US version, eh?) I will need you to sign it for me because I totally lack the imagination to come up with something unique for you to sign.

  343. uk version please! that red wig is awesome. ron’s a very lucky weasel!

  348. dudeeeeeeeeeee is it in an aussie accent??? I want that otherwise plain old english 😀 anyway ron looks like ginny so watch out for hairy otter cause he might have ummmmm ideas 😀

  349. Audio! To make up for the fact that you didn’t come to Seattle so I didn’t get to hear you in person. 🙂

  350. AUDIO! And I pray you used an accent with it too!!!

    Also, Ron’s wig looks like it belongs to Ms. Grangers, I say dye it! I’ll keep my eyes open for a perfect Ron wig!

  355. I feel, quite strongly, that you should come to Canada on your tour! Specifically, Vancouver, BC. Please and thank you (see? we are *really* polite). Also, this whole “third leg” of your tour – is that some sort of thinly veiled penis reference? As in, leg one was the right one. Leg two was the left. And now there’s the mysterious third leg… I’m just sayin’ 😉

    ps. Audio book please! I’m not sure if it’s possible, but I think you’re book might be funnier with your vocal intonation. Although, since I’d be listening to it while driving it might not be safe. That’s a chance I’m willing to take though. That’s how brave of a fan I am.

    pps. Penis.

  357. I’m soooooooo sad that you are not coming to Louisiana! 🙁 Of course, I’ll take ANY version.

  358. I think you should choose me just for pure idioticy, I’m not ev en sure that’s a word!
    BUT I just realized that I didn’t add Australian to my comment!!!!

  359. I have the UK book already thanks, I’ve read it cover to cover and loved it. But why did they change the cover? It has the ugliest title in weird lettering.

  360. Dear madam,

    I would greatly appreciate the whimsy of the UK version of your fantastic book.
    And it deserves high praise because my friends, who dislike reading, are being forced to read your book by yours truly, and they now love it.

    Thank you for your contribution to the I’m-Going-To-Make-Them-Read-Even-If-It’s-The-Last-Thing-I-do Organization.

  361. I want the UK or Aussie Audio book in which you fake their accent as badly as possible.

  367. Everybody has off days 🙂 I know I would be a hot mess after being on the road for as long as you have been now. I would love an audio version of your book since I so rarely have time to read with my 3 y/o and 4 y/o around. I would also kill for some of your super awesome animals in costume…but I would settle for a book

  370. I would love to have the audiobook, but I’d take any of ’em! I wish I could have come see you in Annapolis, but alas, I have anxiety issues & couldn’t have faced the crowd. : (

  372. I’m off today too. It’s been a weird one. Hope we’re both back to our usual selves soon.
    I would very much like the UK version.

  373. I’d love a copy of the audio book. I’d also love to hear you on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me. I’d also love a mint chocolate chip ice cream bar.

  374. I want the one with the funky tree root font!!! Just because I think it’s spoooooooky and cool. (kind of like you)

  376. I’d love the UK version. Hope you feel better!! And sad you never made it to Portland OR – we need you here. 🙂

  377. Audio! Audio! I’d love to hear you say douchecanoe. It’s kinda my dream.

  380. Audio book please! I’m almost through reading the book (It’s amazing!) but I can only imagine how hearing it in your narration would be, laugh out loud funny I’m sure!

  382. I would appreciate any – Australian (I am DownUnder, after all. Just not in Australia, I’m across the Ditch), UK or audio.

    And let’s face it, sometimes trying to be witty sucks. Especially if you’re not in the mood. I’ll take the Bloggess in whichever mood she’s in 😉

  383. Although I have already bought a copy, I would love to not have to read your book! I’d rather listen!

  385. Audio, please, please, pretty please?

    Does it bump up my chances if I promise to make my friend meet me in Chicago for your signing?

  386. I’m reading your book now, and wanted you to know I’ve almost peed myself several times. Oh, and the book is funny, too!

    I’d love an audio copy, if I win. 🙂

  388. I would LOVE an audio book! 🙂 Thanks for inspiring me not to be afraid of my own misfit voice.

  391. That UK cover makes me furiously happy. It’s absolutely the one I’d pick…unless you are planning on doing a British- or Aussie-accented audiobook. That would totally rock too!

  392. When you have three legs do you buy two sets of the same shoes or opt to give the third leg its own different shoe?

    I’d like to win an audio version.

  394. I would love to listen to the audio book! your readings on your tour have been amazing!

  395. I would love the audio book! Thanks so much for coming to Maryland and signing my actual book. <3

  396. Oh dear, Ron Weasely looks kinda like carrot top. I love it, though, and the scarf is awesome! I just finished reading my friend’s copy of your book, and I loved it! I would love the audio book, though!

  397. Would love a copy of your book for my small community library, here in Kaiwaka, New Zealand! Not fussy on which edition, any would be welcome. The library is run by volunteers, on a very small budget.

    I’ve been a fan of your blog since a friend posted on Facebook about the giant metal chicken, and I pass it on to friends every chance I get. And respect your posts about mental health – they’ve been an eye-opener to me, and they’ve given me new perspective on life, the universe, and everything. Thank you for that!

  399. I have nothing witty to say either (must be something in the air!) so I will just note that the UK version would be whimsilicious!

  400. I desperately need a copy of your audio book. I drove 167 miles to see you in (near) Miami. Very well worth it. I have read your book twice (twice, I say!!) now and absolutely HAVE to hear you read it. Sorry I’m not very witty, I leave that to the experts like you!

  401. Trapped by the silver ribbon loved your book and have a few stories to top yours, like when I climbed to the the top of the pyrimid of the sun – and why isn’t human sacifice legal, cause when I’m in a mood I can think of a few people to try it on. Please send me Australian audio versions of the book although I am a Doctor fan.

  402. I would love a UK version of your book. I sort of collect them because they seem so much cooler than the US versions. And I read them with a British accent in my head. FYI, Anthony Bourdain sounds really funny with a British accent.

  403. I want Juanita… Oh did you men a book? I’ll take a hard bound version please….

  404. Or the time I played Dracula and pasted out at the sight of blood and made national news wire (AP)

  405. Is it too late to beg for an Australian copy of the book? The Bloggess the first website that I open at work every morning to get my day off to a good start. If I have the book, I could get everything off to a good start. Pretty please?

  406. Either of the paper editions would be a joy, seeing as they don’t sell your book at my local bookstore. They must be strictly anti-deer sweater. It’s the only plausible explanation.

  407. Being Aussie, I’d love the Australian version of your book! I keep forgetting to order it, then my kids do annoying things like eat all the food so I have no money again. One day I will just let them starve and order it. They can survive off laughter for a week 🙂

  408. I’ll have you know this is the first time EVER I have commented on someone’s blog. Yes, I like you THAT much. I’d love any type of copy of your book, but more importantly, I want to know WHY you aren’t coming to the most amazing state of Colorado?!? I’d love to meet you and possibly even bring you a taxidermied animal of sorts. Consider making another leg of your journey and include CO–everyone here loves you!

  409. Laughed so hard I had tears running down my face! Awesome. I’m happy you’ll be coming to Chicago. My sister just got tickets ordered to see you! If you get a chance to come to Peoria, IL, I will be able to come see you. I’m happy she can go and take pics. I’m so jealous:) I hope you are having a good week!

  410. uk version…please, please, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  411. Audio book please!! I’m SO EXCITED you’re coming to Chicago, I’ll see you there!!

  415. historical accuracy is for suckers. long, flowing red locks are for the ron we all wished he would be in our heart of hearts. seriously he looks just like my scottish lumberjack first boyfriend. once, i braided his hair around straightened clothes-hangers and he looked just like pippi longstocking. it was fabu. ….if that is your definition of fabu: a male pippi. apparently it’s mine.

    audio version, please!

  417. Audio version!

    I was reading your book in bed around 1:00am, because that’s what I do. I started laughing so hard at your story of taking too many laxatives and thinking a rapist slipped a note under the bathroom door that I shook the bed with my convulsions, waking up my other half. He mistook my laughter and enjoyment as having some sort of mental break/panic attack (not out of the realm of possibities at 1am) and started consoling me. I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to tell him it was a good thing. Thanks for everything you’ve written – past, present, and future.

  418. I think Ron looks a bit to much like “carrot top” for his own safety.

  419. I love the cover on the UK version, but since I already have the US edition, I’d go for the audio book.

  421. Australian version please!!!
    And of you want to deliver it in person, you can totally stay with us in suburban Melbourne.
    It’s almost exactly like where you live, except for all the nature. And bobcats. I don’t think we have bobcats here. But we do have an assortment of deadly snakes and spiders so it’s still always an adventure!

  422. 1. Yay for having a third leg! Not many people have one of those.
    2. That wig is epic-ly… epic. I have no words.
    3. I hope you start to feel better. I’ve been more myself this week than I have in the past month and it’s been a breath of fresh air. I hope your break between legs (would that be a crotch?)… Whatever it is… I hope it’s relaxing.
    4. If you need someone to talk to, you can always call me. I’m a great friend. I’ll send you pie.

  427. Do the UK and Australian versions come with their respective regional accents?! If so, I want the UK version…

    But really, I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED the audio book!!!!

  428. I’d love the UK version – I like the title font better. Or…..if you read the audio version yourself, then I guess I’d prefer that. How’s that for indecision?

  429. No request as we already have the audio book…which is awesome. I am glad that your publisher overlords paid attention to my comment a while back about you coming to Chicago. I assume it was that and not something insubstantial like sales data or purchaser demographics. It’s how most PR decisions are made, by consulting my comments on other people’s blogs.

  430. tomorrow is my birthday. i’m not having dinner with you, but my husband, who isn’t as funny or witty as you are.

    I’ll take an audio book, please. I drive from raleigh to philadelphia a few times a year and your audio book will remind me that SOMEONE BRINGS ME JOY AND LAUGHTER.

  431. I dont like his new wig. he’s trying too hard.

    *audio book please*

  435. I would love any version in English that I can get. i would especially like the audio version as I listen to them everyday on my bike rides along the beach in Santa Monica, Ca.

  436. If you could use a handholder, or crowd mananger I can yell “back off” with them best of them, fetch you shushies and whatever else you would deem for me to do. I love books but am coming downtown for you to sign mine and would love to hang out!

  438. I love Ron weasly and his historically inaccurate wig and I love that you have people that make clothes for your friends!

  439. …hope you enjoy your 3rd leg! I’d LOVE an audio book… I just got my copy from Amazon–pre ordered but just arrived, I live in the Canadian Arctic so postage takes awhile!

    🙂 Sarah

  440. I would love an audio version of your book. It would give me something amazing to listen to while I’m not feeling well enough to sit up 🙂

  441. I would love a UK version, that way I can imagine the Doctor saw it in a book store and sent it to me. 🙂

  442. I would LOVE any of the versions of your book, but as I already own the hardcopy – the audio version would be my pick. Hope you get some much needed rest. That tour has to be brutal – fun – but exhausting. We miss you in Texas. Think about coming to College Station? My crazy friends and I would LOVE to hang out with you. We’ll bring the wine.

  444. That Ron Weaseley wig is making me laugh so freakin hard! He has bigger hair than I did in the 80’s and that is saying A LOT!!!!

    Would love to win an audio version of the book!

  445. I’m thinking the Chicago reading is going to be jam-packed, because hello SUNDAY? Not only am I buying fake followers to roadtrip with me and my imaginary friends, but I imagine 2/3 of the midwest will as well.
    So, wait, if that’s all imaginary…will that drink/hair braidy offer apply? I’ll have to get extensions if so.

  446. Don’t need the book. I downloaded and read it on my IPhone…just wanted to say that I LOVED IT! I found out too late that you were in Atlanta, otherwise I’d have been there. I might have even had you sign my boob!

  449. Even if I don’t win the UK version of your book, I am going to get a copy because the description of the UK cover includes the word “whimsical”. I’m not sure why; I like it anyway. And the cover is way more like what I thought it SHOULD than the American cover. And I’m an American.

  450. St. Louis is on your way home from Chicago. Could you please pretty please stop here? My friend saw you in Atlanta and I’m so jealous.

    Otherwise I guess I’ll have to settle for the audio version of your book.

  451. I would love the audio book, so I can be the coolest Mom at school pickup and maybe they will all want to sit in my car while we’re waiting for our kids when they see me laughing hysterically. Or maybe they will stay far, far away because they think I am insane and laughing at the maniacal voices in my head. Whatever. Either way, the audio book would still ROCK!!!

  452. Welcome back, y’all!

    I would love an audio version, I’ve got to hear the bloopers. Picked up the hard-copy last night, couldn’t put it down and now fear for my sanity.

  453. I would LOVE the UK book version. I would be the coolest person I know if I held that in my hands, for even a moment.

  454. I would love any of them. The audio version might be dangerous while driving my son to daycare but since the school year is almost over and I’ll be out for the summer, I can just listen while I drive around the block a few times for Me Time.

  457. Loving the wig, do they make those in grown up sizes?? So I would like any of the above mentioned copies. I like the UK one a bunch, but I’m not picky!

  458. As I have a copy I won’t be greedy and try to get an audio book (wait… is that an oxymoron?) but I wanted to tell you that you are seriously one of the funniest people on the planet and I am a tough audience. I like Ron’s wig. He looks very Rapunzel. You need the entire cast of Harry Potter. You could do one of those stop-action movies with all your creatures.

  459. I would love an Aussie audio book to go with the hard copy I got that was totally THE BEST Mother’s day IN THE WORLD!!! <3

  463. Any chance we’ll see you up in Canada? Vancouver is a lovely city to visit this time of year…. I’ll be getting the audiobook either way, but if you wanted to send it, I wouldn’t object. 🙂

  464. If I won a copy of the book, I would just lend it out to all the people I love who need to laugh.

    (and thank you for all the Don’t Move To Texas advice…. cow vagina, scorpions, foxes & snakes…. makes our 10 feet of snow seem so safe)

  465. As my mother is the head Zookeeper of the Australian exhibit at the Ft. Wayne IN Children’s Zoo(I grew up with Kangaroos in the house). I would be remiss if I didn’t ask for an Aussie version.

  466. Oooh, in honor of Ron’s lovely new scarf and wig, I’ll take the UK version.

  467. I would love a copy of the UK version along with a bit of Ron’s wig to use as a book mark 🙂

  469. Audio version! Because every time I listen to it, I will not only hear your book, but I’ll hear Neil’s advice for you: “Pretend you’re good at it.”

  470. I really wish that you were coming to the Philadelphia area. My P.O.S. car can’t be trusted to make the trip to the nearest areas you’re going to be.

    I would love the UK version of your book.

  471. If you can provide an audio version read by you, then audio.

    If not, UK version of the book would be awesome.

  472. Audio……. I’d love to hear the entire memoir in YOUR voice!!! So sad I can’t make it to Brookline- but I have to bring my kids to Warwick RI to celebrate the colonists burning a British ship that got stuck in the harbor at low tide…… one of the acts that led to the revolution…..AND they go in full 1770-something garb!!! Woohoo! (maybe I will not get stuck in the middle of a 5k that no one warned me about this time!)

  473. I live in NH, and I see that you will be in Brookline MA for your tour. Will you be doing a book signing? Because I have your book as an ebook 🙁

  474. Ron Weasely’s wig looks a little “Carrot Top-y” to me.

  475. UK version, pretty pretty please! And then I can have you sign it – when you come to Massachusetts!!!!!!! So excited 🙂

  476. I live in NH, and I see that you will be in Brookline Ma, on June 8th. Which is the closest tour to me. Will there be a book signing? I have your book as an eBook right now 🙁

  479. Audio would be awesome! Hearing motherfucker with a Texas twang makes it seem more authentic somehow.

  480. Definitely audiobook. It would make my early morning drive to work much more fun.

  481. I would love the audio copy of the book! It would be great to hear you tell the stories. Although, I’d treasure any of them!

    So sad, I can’t get to any locations of your book signings. I’m so glad to see that you are thriving with the tour though. The love and support of your fans is truly inspirational. You really are an awesome person.

  482. Audio version for me, please! I have your book but would love to hear your little kid voice 🙂

  484. BTW, I would love to see Juanita in the Ron Weasely wig, with the caption, “That’s not the color I wanted!” : )

  485. I would love the audio version. I have already read the uk version cover to cover and loved it! I’ve now passed it on to a friend who couldn’t afford their own copy and think it would be even better ( if its possible) to hear it in your voice instead of the little voice in my head, plus it would totally annoy my partner!

  487. I already have the audio version and a hard copy :). So I think the Australian version would be fun! You rock!!! Wish you would come to Phoenix!

  488. Audio. I heard a sample of it on some website and it sounds so awesome…

  489. Ron is totally wearing his confidence wig in that picture! Ermionie must be trying to get him to cast spells again!

  491. OMG Jenny – that link to your Chicago event is tretcherous! I almost died trying to find out where to come see you on the dasterdly intranets. Like it’s a secret and you really don’t want us to come stalk, I mean meet you? Hmmmm. Well I figured it out anyway, muh-ha-ha ( my evil laugh) but others might give up because it really was a needle in a haystach search. Can’t wait to laugh my ass off with you in person!

  492. I would like an audio book please. Sorry you’re not yourself today. 🙁

    The red wig rocks though.

  493. I think Ron Weasely’s wig would work in an alternate-reality version of Hairy Potter (my name for the all-taxidermy version of Harry Potter).

    Were I so lucky as to win, an audiobook would be preferred.

  494. Oh! Oh! I want to hear you read the book. I tried to read some out loud for a friend, but I was laughing too hard to finish. Audiobook? Problem solved.

  495. Audio book please! After hearing just your snippet you posted of your audio book I’ve been dying to get it! Of course I was very very drunk when I heard said snippet post wine tasting festival.

  497. Audio please! I would also blame Ron Weasely’s wig for any problems you may have this week – it’s frightening!

  498. I’m probably confused as to whether you mean an audio book read in an Australian accent, or a book given to an Australian. So since I’m from Australia (G’day mate, chuck a shrimp on the barbie cobber! and all that) I would LOVE a book!!! Not sure I could listen to one read in an Aussie accent though, we tend to cringe when we hear ourselves talk!

  499. I can haz Audio? I am so in love with your book and I hate so much that I wasn’t able to see you in Charlotte. My aunt who introduced me to you wasn’t able to go, due to lack of a sitter, and I couldn’t go without her. I did however listen to you on Bob & Sheri that morning. You sound like a wonderful woman and hopefully when you write the next book I can fangirl at your feet.
    Also, your Zombie theories are totally legit.

  500. I would totally dig the audiobook, and can I just say how bummed I am to not catch you when you are in Beantown?? and you’re event is on my Anniversary to boot!!

  501. Being an Australian, I’d love a copy of the Astralian version of your book 🙂

  503. Audio would be awesome! Also, I’m sure you are hearing this kind of thing non-stop, but I was so sad not to see Seattle on that list. I mean, yes, it rains here non-stop. I get it. But it was still sad 🙁

    (I still have high hopes for Book II’s tour.)

  504. I think Ron’s wig is spot on. It’s for Ron- the later years when Ron goes through a mid-life crisis and is trying to be hip and cool but Hermione won’t let him buy that new Nimbus 6,000 he wants so he grows his hair out and gets an earring.

    Also, if you’re giving out books, I’d LOVE the audio version. I was, after all, the last person standing in line for your Atlanta book signing.

  508. I’d love an Australian copy of the book – does that mean that you’ve changed all the slang in the book? Are their references to Cossies?

  510. Totally the audio version. And I highly recommend you make a british and australian version of the audio, complete with fake accents.

  512. I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the audio version! Nothing would be better to hear your story in your voice!

  513. I love his scarf and the ridiculous wig. My friend just posted a picture from a book signing she went to and I’m so green with envy it’s not even funny.

    I would love the UK version!

  514. I’m sorry that you were in San Francisco when I was not there. I want an audio version like nothing else. Does the reader have a british accent?

  515. Australian copy of the book please! I’m curious as to what makes it Australian, though…does it come with added flies?

  518. AUDIO. still need to bloggess-ize my hubby. also, i was thinking of sending on my hard copy to someone who cant afford their own and they can do the same. kinda like the red dress but with your book. when someone is done they can write a little note in the pages and pass it on. then after maybe 10 or so it can come back to me. not sure how that would work, cause i totally want it back after those who want to read it have. off to ponder this one.

    Heather

  519. I’d love the UK version. I’m looking to pimp you out to some people for Christmas, especially the ones who work HR and have been privy to penile pictures. I think it will help them to work through the trauma.

  520. Well the audio version would make my trek up to Mi from NC fun…I’m gonna have to say on of the books..the font on the UK version is kick ass…but who am I kidding, I would be happy with any of them.

  521. UK please. I think the scroll-y letters are beautiful. And, you’re hilarious. So you, in a pretty book… what more could I ask for?

  523. Audio pretty please! I love your book 🙂

    Also, I too know the pain of herniating a disc on your neck by brushing your hair, washing your face, brushing your teeth, sneezing, and just standing there.

  525. Dear Bloggess,
    I thought I was the only one! I too had pet duck(s). Though you only had one, I had 2. Their names were Cocoa and Krispy. I don’t remember them, but I blame that on classic Freudian repression. I was informed a few years ago upon stumbling upon a photo (I am now 34) that we had ducks, and “you loved them” and then “Grandma ate them.”
    PS: I want an audio copy of your book, it seems only right since reading it makes me laugh out loud and an audio version would be more enjoyable to all the people around me who think that I’m insane. Technically, their right, but they dont need to know that.

  526. Ooooh, Australian version puhlease!!
    You should also come down here and personally deliver it…I’ll try and find you a stuffed possum or something…

  529. Would LOVE an audiobook…but if I don’t win one I will most likely buy one. Hearing you read aloud in Annapolis made the book even funnier than when I read it.

  532. I’d love the Aussie version!
    If only your tour were coming here! I can think of a bunch of cane toad paraphernalia you could add to your taxidermy collection!
    Stuffed toads holding bottle of liquor anyone? http://www.flickr.com/photos/87791108@N00/2170444145/
    They’re classy toads though, see their little canes?
    There’s always kangaroo scrotum coin pouches too…

  533. I really want the UK version (my Dad’s a Liverpudlian) -since I bought not 1 but 2 books on Amazon -before it was even on sale, y’all!!!! But I’d take the Aussie too (my Dad’s uncle immigrated there about a century ago). And to hear your voice in my delicate ears would totally f@cking rock too, so Audio would be awesome too. whatever you want to send. or deliver, when you add Savannah, GA “the Hostess City of the South” to your book tour. We really do read here! And I’ll take you out to lunch at what we affectionately call “Taxidermy Barbeque” because in the rural county directly west of Savannah, where we used to live, there really, honest to f@cking God and St. Agatha too, is a barbeque restaurant that’s decorated in taxidermy. So you feel closer to your food, kind of like a farmer’s market, only with road kill hanging on the wall above your booth. Seriously, my treat if you come to town. Love the book, made me feel sane for the first time every in my life!

  534. I have my tickets for the Chicago appearance, and listed “Unicorn Success Club” as my Organization

  535. Surprise me. And I still can’t believe you aren’t coming to Salt Lake City….surely there is an underground market here for “alternative” bloggers (that’s what we call folks with potty mouths…or those who live in Texas).

  536. I always love it when people say they aren’t themselves. I always wonder what it would be like to not be myself and that would be cool in a way but kind of scary. Hope you are back to yourself soon! Or if not maybe you can be someone really cool like Hermione! I’d love to be her just once. She is bad ass. 🙂

    I’d love to have your audio book. I want to hear you tell your story. I am in love with your book and was in the airport the other day reading it. The lady next to me needed to know why I was having seizures while reading this book. I showed her the cover and she knew of this book! I was shocked because she was about 70 years old. I had no idea you had the following of the older generations too! I’m impressed and a little sad to think that maybe I’m not as hip as I thought I was. 🙂 Or maybe this little older lady was just too hip for her generation. 🙂 Anyways. I was reading about you being attacked by a bear and I couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably while reading. And then it just kept going and I couldn’t stop. Good thing my plane was delayed for an hour so I could get some more reading in!

  537. I suspect that wig perfectly represents what the hair of Ron and Hermione’s children would look like.

  539. Jenny- you need to come to DENVER!!!!!! I would love to win ANY of the copies you are giving away- you are so generous! As well as wonderfully witty and awesome- I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your book, even though it made my hubby slightly crazy with me as I snorted, guffawed, giggled, and downright laughed till I cried while reading it! XO

  540. I’d love a copy of the audio book. I wanted to buy it from Audible, but they said I couldn’t, because I’m in Australia, which makes absolutly no sense to me. They even contacted your publishers, who replied something like “We don’t care about people in Australia, they are not worthy”. (I paraphrased that) You don’t have to give me a copy of the audio book – but pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese make it legal for me to buy it here.

  542. Wow! I was bummed I didn’t get to make to into NY to see you, and now you’re coming to my local bookstore, a 3 minute walk from home. Life is good.
    Quick primer for your visit- Montclair is in no way related to the Jersey Shore. Do not expect fist pumping or orange people. Montclair is very liberal, very diverse, often very quirky. Along those lines, it is home to Yogi Berra, Stephen Colbert, and the Russian spies who were arrested last year. Also, Dr. Leo Sternbach, who invented the precursor for valium, was born here. Whoo.

  543. Aw, skip Chicago and come to St. Louis!

    (Also, I’d take anything you were willing to give!)

  544. I just (Saturday) had my second baby and no longer have time for an actual physical book., so I would love an audio copy that I could listen to on the run! I am sooo excited that you scheduled a stop in MA!!

  545. I can’t believe you will be at the town next door, Montclair, and I won’t be able to attend because I already own the book (I preordered, and can’t really afford to get a second one right now, been unemployed for 3 years)! And they called you “Miss” Lawson — it’s like they don’t even know you!

  546. I am so in love.. thanks for the smile, I needed one so bad after the worst day ever.. I just want to go throw up and then hide…. and maybe repeat..

    Audio pretty pretty please…

  547. ZOMG CHICAGO CHICAGO!!

    Hot damn that is the day after my husband graduates grad school and thank GOD because I’d hate to be all “I’m busy that day, honey, sorry”.

    I will seeeeeeeee you! With eyeballs!!

    Very excited! Would love a book but will be happy just to hug you with my eyes.

    K

  548. Wow, Ron’s wig is my very own hair color. Lucky weasel!
    UK paperback please!

  549. I’m in Australia, I love your blog and the first chicken I ever owned was called Beyonce. No joke. And that was well before your Beyonce came along.

    I had two chooks called Beyonce and Bjork, I got them as tiny chicks. Beyonce had bootie, thus the name. They were incredibly affectionate but sadly after a week in Bali I came home to find they had started crowing. I was devastated. They also started to get very possessive, to the point where Beyonce attacked my Ugg Boot as she was clearly jealous of the affection and warmth it gave my toes.

    After a labourious search, and several complaints from my neighbours, I found the two pop stars a new home at a free range farm where they could find groupies and live happily ever after.

    Of course, because you then named a chicken Beyonce, it’s like we’re sisters. So I would like the book please 😉

  553. I would love a copy of the UK version of ‘Let’s Pretend This Never Happened’, please! In theory, there is a copyright library (to which I have access!) in my town, but, like many theories, this one is but a lie (though I do indeed have access to the library that is theoretically a copyright library. Sadly this does not make the absence of a copy of ‘Let’s Pretend This Never Happened’ in my town any easier to handle).

  554. AUDIO! Because I have your book and read it and laughed so hard my husband was afraid I’d ruptured something and I would love to hear your voice and emphases…emphasises…whatever as you read your hilarious wonderful book!

  557. Ooh ooh ooh love audio books (and Ron’s scarf) I listen while I melt glass with a torch (and try not to burn myself when laughing!)

  558. i would be thrilled with anything you sent my way. but most especially the aussie version.

  559. I would love the audio version….another too hip for her generation older lady!

  560. Darn!! I’m going to Chicago on the 15th!!!!! I’m going to miss you by 5 days!!!

  561. I’d love an audiobook!!
    I have the hardcopy, and just about died laughing, but I have a feeling it’ll be even better to hear the crazy stories in your voice!

  562. I would KILL for an Aussie version. Well, not you. I wouldn’t kill you. This seems like a poor choice of words. Let’s start over. Ahem….

    I would LOVE an Aussie version! Being on the very farthest side of the world makes me miss America sometimes. Thank goodness for the interwebs.

  563. CHICAGO! Oh I’m so glad you’re coming here! I’ve already got a copy of the book, and I’ve already laughed myself into an asthma fit and nearly peed myself, but an audio would be pretty awesome.
    About the wig though- leave it alone and just say it’s in homage to the fluffy hair in the fourth movie when all the kids looked like the Beatles.

  564. Heard you speak in Gaithersburg, MD. Would love to hear you again and again on audio. Though it is easy to read in your voice now that I have had the opportunity to hear you at length, besides odd bits on youtube! It was a treat to have you in our neck of the woods!

  565. Jenny, You are my savior! I read your blog relentlessly, and whilst reading I always vow to create my own blog in hopes of slightly resembling your amazingness. But then, I realize I can never compare because you are so freaking hilarious! I would absolutely love a copy of your audiobook so I can listen to your hilariousness while driving to work! Also, can you please come to Pennsylvania on another leg of your tour?!

    I love that you are so open about your struggles with depression, and reading your posts helps me cope with my daily struggles with depression and anxiety.

  566. I would really, really love an audio book! I am a teacher and I drive an hour each way to and from the school, and I am poor as sin, so it would be phenomenal! I would even mail it to someone else when I am done with it!

  568. I would love the UK version! I am the friend Katie Granju got your autograph for!!! My friend Philip plotzed.

  571. I’d gladly take the Australian or the UK version! I really wish your tour would bring you to San Diego.

  572. I’d like an audio version of you reading with an Australian accent, or British, I’m not picky. Please tell me this is a four legged tour that includes Minneapolis?!?

  574. Yikes!…yikes yikes! Ron Weasely is looking like the illegitimate wizard rodent offspring of carrot top 😮 A hair cut is definitely in order there!

    PS I’m still waiting for Seattle!

  578. Audio! I have read the book twice already but after your reading in Atlanta (hilarious!) I would love to have you read me the whole book. 🙂

  579. The audio book! I would love to have seen you when you were out in Cali but I was out of town. 🙁 Maybe for your next book!

  580. I’m so glad you are coming to Chicago! Lit Fest is fantastic anf you will make it the best!

  581. Oh no!!!!! You are coming close in NJ, but I will be away!!!!! How about coming to PA? There are lots of people who love you here. You could do Pittsburgh, lots of college students there. How about a smaller space, like the Lehigh Valley? There’s the new Arts Quest Space in Bethlehem, you would love it. An we have Peeps! Please????????????????

  582. UK. Please, please, please, please, please, pleaeaaaasssseeeeeee!

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!

    Pick me?

  584. I just finished reading your book, and I would love the audio version.

  587. Wow, Ron’s hair is… impressive. Epic even.

    I’ll take your audio book if you have an extra handy, if not I’ll just fangirl you when I see you in Brookline. I’ve already figured out what I want you to sign. I’m very excited.

  588. Minneapolis is only one stop over from Chicago. C’mon up north, girl – we’ll show up in droves.
    Fondly,
    Barb in Minnesota

  590. I want a UK audiobook because I loved the book and soooo want to hear it read by you… and because I’m going to be visiting Texas next year and want to ask if you’d sign it. 🙂

  592. Audio! Especially since I can’t go to anything on your tour (I live in Ohio. You don’t want to come here. Really. I won’t even beg you. That wouldn’t be nice).

  593. AUDIOBOOK! My mother and I are about to take a roadtrip for her sister’s funeral and it’s the only way I can imagine getting through it.

  595. Oh, Jenny, you almost always make me laugh. Unless you’re trying to be serious, then you don’t. But you’re awesome either way. The wig and scarf look great. And I’m so happy you have a third leg. When are you coming to Cincinnati?!?

  596. All I can say is WOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO Montclair!!! I’m going to appropriately try like crazy to be there!!!!!!

  597. I love Ron Weasely’s wig, however I feel I should point out that it kind of looks exactly like Ermione Grangers hair too (except ginger). What that means is that at present they could share the wig depending on who felt most follicularly challenged on a given day, if Ermione could tolerate being a red head and Ron could tolerate such a lustrous wealth. But for authenticity, and to stop Ermione from being jealous, it might need a trim!
    If you aren’t yourself, who are you? PLEASE say Professor McGonagall!!! 😀

    UK version if its me.

  598. I’d love to hear you read your work! I’m planning my first day of vacation around reading my copy.

  600. Feel like you soon. And good luck w the last leg. Audiobook please.

  601. Wow! i would LOVE the Australian audio book! i only recently discovered your blog and its freakin hilarious, i cant wait to hear/read the book! I’d have to listen to it at home though; lately ive been reading your blog while on the bus, and people keep shooting me odd looks when i randomly start laughing at pictures of taxidermied animals…

  602. Though I’m not technically in Australia, I’d love the Aussie version even though I’m a die-hard New Zealander.
    We tend to get forgotten about, being such a small country. We get missed off maps, hardly ever get our own versions of things and 99% of the planet either doesn’t know our country exists or things we are Australia’s other island… so, so, so, so wrong!
    It’s no wonder I shout and cheer out loud every time we are finally mentioned in passing in a movie, tv programme or book produced outside our country.

  603. Audio, please. You do know that you could be that sexy librarian in that eye glass commercial, right?

  604. I’m an Aussie but would love the UK version.

    Oh watch out we’ve got a badass over here.

    Congrats again on all your hard earned success.

  605. Tour in Portland. I will buy you a maple bacon donut. You can’t resist that.

  606. Audio! I am super bummed that I won’t be able to make it to the Brookline, MA reading. I have plans with a long-lost friend that evening. 🙁

  607. You really need to bring the book tour to Tucson, AZ. I know it’s hot here, but you can totally use my pool. Also, I make a mean wine slushy…and I hardly ever clean deer in the house anymore, honest.

  609. I just need you to know how much I love reading your blog. I am living in Thailand and had my books taken from me in China due to crazy fees for the luggage that I wasn’t willing to pay. I would LOVE an audio book from you, as you rock! Either version would be fine.

  610. You’re coming to chicago??! YayYAYyay!! I’m totally putting on my hawt bra then! (For the giveaway, I’m totally gunning for the UK printing, for extra fanciness. Honestly, though, I just really wanted to voice my enthusiasm over you making it to Illinois)

    Oh heck yes, peoples- this party is ON!m

  613. Is the audio the UK or Australian Audio, and if so do you use an accent? B/c the only thing that would make your book better is possibly a british accent. or cake.

  614. I still want you to come to Minnesota and to give me an audio copy!!! It will be even better hearing the book in your voice.

  615. I would absolutely love an audio version! I just put an rss reader on new phone and have loved catching up with you. For old time’s sake I looked up the original Beyonce chicken story, and laughed until I cried. And my husband thought I was nutso. I had a rough day. And Beyonce made it better. Oh, and what are the chances you’ll be on Ohio?

  616. I’d love a copy of the Australian version, as my taxidermied lookouts have not yet reported it’s arrival into my local bookstore.

  618. Would love an Audio version to go with the written one I have…

  619. You will be in Jersey soon… Preparations must be made!!

    ALERT THE CARNIES AND START THE BONFIRES! SHIT’S ABOUT TO GET REAL!!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

  621. AUDIO, please!

    And Ron Weasley’s flowing ginger locks are super sexy… and a little ridiculous.

  622. I don’t want anything from you, my life is already plenty weird enough. I just want to know if your book tour is coming back through the south anytime ever? I only recently found your blog, and I AM IN LOVE. In a non-creepy way, of course. Yeah, definately non-creepy.

  623. Audio, read in an Australian accent with British thrown in at random, unexpected moments…

  624. UK version. Love that accent. Plus they have Guy Fawkes day and you never know when you might need an emergency Guy Fawkes present.

  625. I’d like the audio version, please. And I expect to win one of them because I’m pretty awesome and deserve it. And I’d love to sit at the neighborhood pool listening to your book on speaker so I can get strange looks from my neighbors. It’d be worth it! Pick me, pick me 🙂

  628. Would LOVE an audio or a UK version – I am not picky, although the UK version would go well with my UK versions of Harry Potter, no? I missed you in Atlanta, coaching got in the way (I coach swimming), but have wanted your book for ages. Please??

  630. Audio audio audio oh please please let me have the audio! I’ll trade a wonderful passive aggressive story for it! The laugh so hard you pee you pants kind of story….at least that is what my friend said but then again she’s had four munchkins and things aren’t quite in place the way they were….but please choose me!

  633. I wish we could see you in Seattle!

    I’d love the audio version, please. 🙂

  634. I would SO love an audio copy of your book (already bought the e-book.) Unfortunately, I spend a large amount of time commuting in the car (and for some reason, people frown at you from their vehicles if they see you balancing an iPad on your steering wheel and trying to read whilst hurtling down the highway) so an audiobook would help me enjoy my Bloggess fix safely. (As long as I don’t double over, attempting to laugh up a kidney.)

    You didn’t happen to read the audiobook in a British accent, did you? Because that could be even funnier. AND more awesome.

  637. Audiobook, pretty please.
    You were fab at the Gaithersburg book festival near DC. The merriment at your pavilion could be heard several tents away! Well done with the crowds.

  638. i’m sorry you’re out of sorts today.
    really, really.

    i would love the uk version, or an audio version of you reading your awesomesauce book in a fake english accent.

  639. Ron’s wig looks like it belongs on Ermine. A trim is definitely in order.

    Audio book!

  640. Audio version for me… although truthfully, I would not be picky. Mostly, I just want to hear you describe the pictures in the book (since y’know, they can’t be seen in the audio version). Because I never would’ve believe dthe Jams-wearing raccoon without proof.

  641. Our library system has multiple copies of your book available! Not so many that people won’t need to actually buy a copy, though, but I thought it was exciting that you’ll be in the library. When I look at the catalog listing, there is a link to Goodreads.com, and apparently over 900 people have rated your book and give it an average of 4.5 out of 5 stars. That’s awesome. Congrats on a job well done.

  642. I’m the 597th comment – like what chance do I have of winning the UK version? Like slim, right? But it’s worth a try. It’s that or win the lottery to get to the States and hear you on tour.

  644. Please oh please oh please talented one…I would love to have an audio copy of your book. I have a wonderful hardback copy but dream, yes dream of having you read it to me.

  646. I still can’t get on board with the whole dead animal thing. UK Coming to Cleveland, OH?

  650. Doh! “Sold Out” for Chicago. I’m driving 1200 miles just to see you. (Okay, I lied, I’m visiting my aged parents but I’d stop by to say hi.) Anyway, are you going to do any signing, book signing that is and not American Sign Language signing, but that’s cool, too?

  651. I would love, love, love to have the audio version of your book. Reading it while trying to imagine your voice just isn’t the same. 🙂

  652. That wig is amazingly crazy.

    And the audio, definitely the audio!!

  654. I would love to get the UK or Australian copy of your book! I just picked your book up from the library today and am eager to start it! I was on the wait list waaaaay too long. And I know I’m going to want to have my own copy to read when ever I want C=

  655. Audio all the way! Thanks for the giveaway and all my best on your continued tour and book success! 🙂

  657. An Australian addition would be nice – that way I can pass it on to family and friends. I’ve got my copy already on the kindle! I heard someone on TV here in little old Tassie talking about her lady garden (she is an advertising person) and I laughed so hard. Wonder where she got it from 😉 – Love the hysterical (historical?) wig!

  658. Please please please [shameless begging] I would love a copy of your book!!! I’d rather have one I can hold in my hands than an audio book, though. I’m old-fashioned that way…

  659. I’ve been anxiously waiting an appearance in my area! What I did NOT anticipate was that Watchung Booksellers would be charging “admission” in the form of the purchase of your book- which most fans (including myself) have already acquired. Worse, they’ll only offer autographs to books that were sold by Watchung Booksellers? How about first come, first served or some other vaguely fair system?

    You have a lot of fans that weren’t waiting for your appearance to purchase and read your debut. Shame on Watchung Booksellers for trying to take advantage and for being so unabashedly tacky. You are fantastic, but I will unfortunately have to miss you. Note to self: don’t patronize the grubby, grub-fest that is Watchung Booksellers.

  660. Things should have an even number of legs… 2, 4, 6, 8.

    3….Three is just tragic. Reminds me of my friend’s dog that lost a back leg to a raccoon (it was a really small dog). His name was Rexy. After the ‘incident’, everyone just called him tripod. Isnt that awful?! He did “ok” with only 3 legs; he hopped instead of walked, and he was still cute…. In my opinion though, a prosthetic leg would have made his life way easier, and let’s be honest here, a total badass! It sucks to have to hop EVERYWHERE. I mean seriously, try that for five minutes and you’ll be all “wow, this is way more aerobic than necessary and I … Screw this, I need a drink” See???

    Rexy was really missing that fourth leg, sure he got by and all, but that fourth leg was where he carried his mojo, his awesome, his swagger. His real leg was ripped out of his hip socket, but a fake one would have turned that story from sad to glad my friend. Your book tour is not dissimilar… It NEEDS to have four legs. And your missing leg is here in Canada. We are your book tour’s badass prosthetic. You need to come strap that bitch on.

  662. So close to Minneapolis! I suppose that’s the same reason I should go to Chicago. But really, today was a great day, I quit my job and to celebrate bought your book. Burned dinner because I was laughing. Kids and husband asked “are you reading about that lady again?” if I had the audio book, I’d be able to feed my family. Seriously, I never burn dinner.

  663. uk version please! and also, please come back to san antonio. i just moved here, and was so sad that i missed your san antonio date by weeks! also, i found james garfield’s brother winston pinkerton III in a coffee shop in colorado. the pictures were…misplaced…in my move. but you will have them as soon as i find them again!

  667. No need to be witty. I imagine you are exhausted from your tour. If you have a spare book in any form I would love it. Thanks

  670. Oh please don’t trim the wig. It makes me laugh almost as hard as Juanita. Almost. 🙂 Audio. And I will see you in Boston! YAY!

  671. ANY OF THEM! I want ANY version of your book I can possibly get! I would accept a free BRAILLE version and I have NO IDEA how to read braille! But I would learn if it meant I could have your book for free!

  672. P.S. Your pictures of Ron Weasely and Ermine Granger make me so happy! When are you getting a Harry Otter?

  674. Audio book! Also, that wig HAD to be that big so that it could hold all of the awesome that belongs to it.

  675. Would love the audio version! Because I know there are swear words in it and my kids need to learn some new words, or at least learn that other people swear too!
    You are awesome!

  676. Also nothing witty here. Audio, please.

    Also, Leg Four, Las Vegas? Pleeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase.

  677. Would love the Aus version as we are down under. Thanks for he laughs and sharing your world!

  679. Somebody prolly already told you that with that wig Ron Weasely looks more like Ginny Weasely, but if they didn’t – you’re welcome.

    Also I noticed you are STILL not coming anywhere near Utah. *SIGH*

  680. O.M.G. I totally knew it was you! You bought MY bug cemetary!
    I had been lusting after it for weeks and was trying to describe it to my friend Sheryl. And she said, “the bloggess must have made it” and I’m all “who is the bloggess?” and she says “you know, Juanita weasel!” and I’m all “huh?”. So she shows me your blog on Juanita, but THEN I read your blog on Copernicus and it was all I could think about or talk about for days. So I told everyone, “I am totally in love with this woman, because can you even imagine what it’s like in her head.” which made me start thinking that I really could stand for it to be more exciting in my head. So, I determined that I would treat myself to the bug cemetary I had been lusting after for months. But time passes and I hadn’t gotten back to Pasadena for awhile. THEN, my friend Sheryl calls me one day and said “the bloggess is writing about your bug dioramas, you have to go get the cemetary!” so I called the shop right then and I said ” I know there is going to be a run on bug dioramas so pleeeease hold the cemetary for me,” and she told me it had just been sold…..
    I was devastated, and I KNEW it was you. I KNEW it was you! But, then we thought, well, wouldn’t she have put up a picture of it? But my friend Sheryl, who is really the absolute best friend a person could have said she would help me make my own bug cemetary. So we started looking for what one might need to do so. And finally decided that what we would make would be so much better–a bug circus! So this weekend we went to a bug fair with Irina (I put my Copernicus poster in her office since mine is a little too public) and learned that you don’t really need appendage relaxing fluid, you can relax bugs quite easily with routine household chemicals and water (I figured you’d want to know that) and we got bugs and beetles and dragon flies for the circus. It may take a while, but it will be way cooler than your silly graveyard! And the ring master’s tails and top hat will be way cooler than the widow caterpillar’s little black veil and you will be so jealous!
    But I really can’t begrudge you the cemetary too much, because in a way, the cemetary is really what introduced you to me ( in a very indirect manner) so enjoy! And now I’ll have my own circus anyway!
    But I do think I at least deserve an Australian audio tape since you did totally rip off my bug cemetary after all!

  681. Oh, and I’ll take any version you are willing to give me, but would really appreciate the audio version. Please?

  683. I’m reading your book now, and I never want it to end.

    (I would pick the UK version!)

  685. Soooo, is your daughter in therapy yet? She is going to have awesome stories to tell when she is older.

  686. I thought this post was called “Leg Tree!” but it’s still SUPER funny as-is. Are the UK and AU versions the same as ENG, just with things like “theatre” and “straight away” ? If so, sign me up for one of those. Or the audio one. I’m not picky.

  687. UK version – because I like the front cover font waaaaaaaaay better than the US (aka boring) version.

  688. COME TO CANADA!! I have your book on hold at the library and there are hundreds of people ahead of me – Canadians love you! I’d love the UK version, what with our common usage of “u” in those special words like “colourful” and “favourite” and “well-hung”… No, wait… 😉

  690. Would love a copy of the Aussie version. Don’t suppose you’d come over and do a supporting tour? 😉

  693. I’d still love the audio version because nobody else ever talks to me. For realz! I only communicate with peeps online, the only person who EVER really *speaks* to me is my husband and you do don’t want that to be anyone’s fate. At least not if you know my husband or aren’t a sadist.

  694. Love your blog!
    Love your book!
    So any version of the audiobook would be great, but would prefer UK-version if it ever came to that. 🙂

  695. Please please please I would love love love an AUSSIE one! Seriously, your blog posts make me laugh out loud so much that I can read them during my staff meetings anymore…it has made for many an AWKWARD moment.

  696. UK version – I can’t wait to hear the bathroom-rape story in a posh British accent. (Did you record the three audio books in accents yourself? Because that would make them even better!)
    (If you didn’t, you should really think about doing it!)

  699. UK Audio Oh Lovely person you.

    Then I can play it at my house when I’m in work so the out of work abandoned imaginary friends can be entertained.

    You know what happens if they are left to entertain themselves, yup, lost legs!!!

  700. UK! UK! I deserve a book because I want to come see you and give you creepy cupcakes with rabbit’s feet and try to hug you before you escape to the bathroom and tweet everyone about the weird creeper who just tried to grab you, but I can’t because I live in Europe and you have selfishly neglected to expand your tour over here.

    We have bathrooms too, you know! And I’d even lend you a security wig. (You’d have the choice between the electric blue shaggy high ponytail one, the platinum blonde “down to my ass” one, or the boring black shoulder-length do. The purple bob is all mine.)

  701. Without the UK version I might just die. Do you really want that hanging over you?

  702. Hi jenny
    I just showed my son the Ron Weasel-y and Ermione Granger photo, and his reply was “well thats all very nice but where is Harry Otter” HARRY OTTER! You just gotta love this kid, (well he is 23 but he’s still my baby!) So I’m now keeping an eye out for a myopic taxidermied otter with a lightning flash scar just for you x.
    Ooh I’d love an audio copy of your book

  703. I would love the Australian version. Has it changed so that there are now taxidermied kangaroos or whatever?

  704. There’s an Australian version?! Oh please, please please please please! That way your humour can spread here to New Zealand, to the ass end of the earth!

  705. Ok, even though you don’t have to make up anything to me personally, for I still think the picture of Ron Weasley is entertaining enough without any of your witty words, I WOULD FRIGGIN’ LOVE LOVE LOVE AN AUDIO VERSION OF YOUR BOOK! I own your book with book plate, had you sign my book in San Rafael (Not like you probably care, but I want to add some flair here-so don’t pronounce the name of the city like most people do, San Rah-fell, but say it seductively instead with a Spanish/Mexican accent (whichever you prefer, I’m not picky on that point), San Rah-fiye-el, and roll that r there baby)! That night I saw you read from your book was THAT exciting for me, so I felt a need to convey that by saying the name of the city all special like. Did it work? I had 2 friends come that had never heard of you and we were laughing our asses off, not literally thank god! I was actually crying I might add, not ’cause I was sad of course, but you were, friggin’ hilarious! I would love to hear you read your book out loud to me whenever I so chose! You’d help lift my spirits any time of the day if I had my hot little hands on it! For a couple of months there I was listening to David Sedaris audio version of him reading his book, “Me Talk Pretty One Day” before I’d go to bed. I don’t know if helped me go to sleep, but at least I wasn’t thinking/obsessing about my life. I was thinking of buying the audio version but I’m a bit on the poor side right now and am not suppose to be spending more money on things, but like, trying to pay my credit card off, you know I bet how that goes! Help me laugh harder and more often Bloggess! Is it helping to plead my case? Not sure how you’re going to chose on this one! I LOVE YOU!! IN A FRIENDLY SISTERLY WAY!! THOUGH I COULD PROBABLY LOVE YOU MORE IN AN INTIMATE WAY IF NEED BE. My boyfriend might not approve though, so I proably can’t jump right into that latter possible proposal w/out consent. In case you’re wondering. Have fun on the 3rd leg!! I’m going to tell my friends in Mass. & Chicago to go see you if they want to laugh there asses off, but not literally of course!

  708. Magnificent!
    I think Ron suits being a bit … Charles II – in fact we should all try it, apart from the hiding in Oak trees business, of course. I would love to get the UK version, but don’t worry about sending it really, because I’m going to buy it anyway. J x

  711. I would love to go see in Chicago but I have to catch the train back to Kansas City around 2pm. 🙁 Any chance you could do a Leg 4 and come visit here?

  712. I’d really love a copy of the Aussie edition, please! Ha. ‘Cause of like, national pride and all that. 🙂

    The first time I read it wrong and thought the audio was you doing an Australian accent… which would have been odd. But you should totally attempt an Australian accent and record it just for me. 😀

  713. Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian! Australian!

  714. I am soooooo psyched you’re coming to Boston. Brookline Booksmith here we come!!!

  715. Oh, I’m glad the scarf works on Ron – wasn’t sure of Weasel proportions. It also helps balance out his new hair. I do have the desire to start singing “Chaka Khan, Chaka Khan, let me rock you Chaka Khan”. I’m not sure why.

    Would be happy to make another for Ermione (and a Slytherin one for Draco Mousefoy when he comes into your possession.)

    Lastly, thanks for saying friend and not “somewhat stalkerish FB, Twitter and Blog participant”. 🙂

  716. Audio UK version please – then I can walk the streets laughing and saying ‘vagina’ in hideously inappropriate places. Do you do the accent as well?

  717. Soooo awesome. Can’t WAIT til you make it on a UK book tour…

    Would love a UK version of the book pretty please? (with sugar, sprinkles, chocolate coating, cherries, and whatever else floats your boat)

  718. Hopefully not too late but would love the Aussie version! Have read your book already – much to the confusion of my husband. He woke up one evening thinking he was in some sordid hotel room the bed was vibrating that much. Turned out of course it was me reading while trying to stifle my laughing and not wake him! I really want to introduce your book to a friend but my husband is not prepared yet to part with my own copy so the Aussie or the audio version on offer would be the best pressie.

  720. I’m an Australian so you should definitely give the Australian version to me – extend your fan base and all that. Oh, and if you do I’ll get my book club to read it for our next book and you’ll sell another 8 copies. Thanks.

  721. Aussie for an aussie! Would be lovely thank you.
    Aussie Aussie Aussie Oi Oi Oi!!!
    xx

  722. You should really come to St. Louis, it’s not that far from Chicago. Ah well, Audio version since you aren’t coming this way. Congrats on the book!

  724. Please come to Philadelphia! I’m reading your book and loving it. Would love to meet you!

  726. Audio Please : ) P.s. I just finished your book (hardcopy style) and it was amazing. My hubby kept getting mad at me b/c I would read him passages when he was trying to fall asleep.

  727. Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh! I don’t care which one I receive unless you do cute little British or Australian accents… then I want one of those! 🙂

  728. Audio please! I have the kindle version but need something awesome to listen to in the car.

  729. Audio! Audio! Audio! I heard the snippet and I really want to hear the rest. Reading it was awesome as well. So was having a book plate to put in it. But come on- who could pass up audio!

  731. OOOh, That could be Ron Weasely’s confused college years where he went by Rhonda Weasly and worked the pole for tuition money. Oh, and I would like a copy of the audio book!

  732. I would like the Australian version. Is there a kangaroo inside? That would be cool!

    Attention Bloggess Fans: If you are anywhere close to where she is going on her tour, you should make every effort to do so! My wonderful husband drove me to Atlanta to hear her speak. You have to hear HER say, “KKMF!” She signed my book, my Bloggess Cootie Catcher, AND she signed my library’s copy of the book. (It was OK to do for my library book because I am THE Most High Exalted Ruler of the Books at my library). GO SEE JENNY!!! ***

    ***Does sucking up increase my chances to win? 🙂

  734. So, do you have an Australian Audio version? Wouldn’t that be funny, to hear your story with an Australian accent? Or a British accent, either way… anyway, I like the cover to your British copy so if I get it, I’d LOVE that one!

  735. Oh, the UK version is pretty! I just finished reading the good old US version from my library, and I spent so much time laughing out loud that the people that were around me thought I was nuts.

  736. UK version pretty-please.

    now to figure out how to get myself to chicago……

  737. The wig is totally suited for Ermione… Just saying. 🙂 Would love the UK version of your book. And have fun with the rest of your tour!

  739. The audio version, please! The extras sound cool. Also, I understand your issues with the wig. He looks a little more like a fabulous Ronda in a flowing black robe than the Ron we all know and love. Which isn’t a bad thing, per se, but it does screw with the “historical accuracy” of having stuffed carnivores play imaginary human characters.

  740. There is no need to apologize! We don’t expect you to be witty alllllll the time. Just most of the time. 😛 If it makes you feel better, you can give me a copy of your audiobook!

  741. May I please have the audio version?? I have a 2 hour commute to work and this would help me start and end my day on a good note. Thanks!!! It was great getting to meet you in Atlanta.

  742. I would like the uk version. Like the title. But if you have to give me another, I’ll take it. I would say I’m not too picky, but I’d be lying. Autographed too?

  743. I would love a UK copy! BTW- your blog makes me day! I have shared with numerous people and now we are all hooked. It never disappoints.
    The wig is perfect, and a lovely shade of red i might add.

    thanks!

  744. I would love the audio version. Being from Houston myself I knew when I first read you (an Australian friend living in Australia sent me your blog link) that you had to be a Texas girl. I was blown away when I found out you were! Texas rocks!

  745. i don’t know how you have managed this extended book tour…. and apparently with grace and (of course) your sense of humor intact. i believe I would have been babbling in the back of the biographical section of some bookstore long before now. You are definitely my hero. And if this blatant, unabashed sucking up works, I’ll get an audio edition, cause I loved the book.

    Sincerely,
    Your sister in bread-bag socks. (We wore them INSIDE the boots) 😀

  746. Would LOVE to have an audio book – it will be for my hubby!! Having picked up the book at your Atlanta book signing (at least it’s not towels!!), I’ve read several chapters to my non-book-reading husband (he only listens to audio books). His comment – it must be true ’cause you can’t make this stuff up! 🙂

    And if you pick me (pretty, pretty please???), would you autograph it with “at least it’s not an enormous metal chicken”??

  747. Australian…I can’t wait to hear the stories of West Texas in your best Australian accent! I won’t be disappointed will I?

  748. The UK edition please! Cause bitches gotta have whimsy.

    Seriously though, feel better and give your brain some reboot time when you can!!

  751. UK please! And an even bigger please-please come to DC for your book tour!!!

  753. I would love an audio version of your book…at times I have a hard time reading your blog because of the tears from laughing so hard. I would really love to hear your read the book. I could use the laughter these days.

  754. Hello,
    Australian version, please. I was just introduced to you today, so i’m not sure which is better, but I do love that Australian accent just in case.

  755. I would love to have the audio book. I finished reading the book and LOVED IT! I would like to hear you read it. 🙂 Good luck on the third leg.

  756. I’d like the Austrailian UK version of the audio book, please.

    Duke

  758. If enough of us ask for the Aussie version, does that mean you’ll do a book tour here? I would love an Australian copy.

  760. I keep trying to get my partner to read your book. He refuses to read books. He would love you, so I’m thinking audio book is the way to go….pppllllllllllllllleeeassse. ( ps I totally did that Roger Rabbit style in my head )

  761. Sometimes, when I’m not feeling myself I try to figure out who I’m feeling like…that usually lasts for about 5 seconds and then I think, “man, the person I’m feeling like asks stupid questions.” And then I take a nap or eat cookies…

    I would love love love the UK version!

  764. Damn it! Stupid work schedule keeping me from spending any time on line and from being able to get tickets to your Chicago event! Will you be do any book signing or anything for us poor, hard working, ticketless slobs? *pouty face*

  765. Aaaaaauuudiiiiiiooooooo. Audio, pls. Congratulations on all your well-deserved success. Now every time Victor complains about you being on the internet and twitter and whatnot all day, you can shove your NY Times Best-Selling memoir in his face and point out that what you are doing is building and maintaining your fan base. You know, your base of fans who buy your book and pay for all your taxidermy and metal work. I would say your fan base who put food on your table, but I can’t help thinking most of your book income is going to go into procuring a family for Beyonce.

  767. AUDIO AUDIO AUDIO! I have the kindle version and am LOVING it right now. I keep reading it over dinner or a glass of wine in restaurants and people staaaare at me when I’m snorting wine through my nose in public. Yeah maybe I shouldn’t do that anymore. Hence why I need the audio version so I can spew Coke Zero across my windshield instead of wine. Don’t drink and drive, y’all.

  768. My daughter and I came to see you in Atlanta and laughed the entire time! We are both reading your book and decided, after hearing you read a chapter, that the only thing better than READING you is LISTENING TO YOU READ! We have a 10 hour car trip coming up and having the audio book would be go great.

    thx.

  769. You know, I don’t usually read your other commenters, because there are tons and frankly there aren’t enough hours in the day for that. So I get this terrible feeling that every time I post a comment that seems funny to me, 2 or 3 dozen other people have probably already posted very nearly the same thing.

    It’s like the monkeys and the typewriters and the Shakespeare: Given a few thousand people with similar taste in blogs who’ve all read your entire body of work, some of them are going to end up having the same reaction to your posts. And some of them are going to feel the need to tell you and everybody else about it. Because deep down, we’re all a bunch of shameless attention whores. We should be a sports team. Go S.A.W.s!!

  770. Awww man, this is the first time since I quit working for the screen printing company (and the crazy, vindictive lady who ran it) that I’ve wished I was still there. Just so I could make us some S.A.W.s jerseys. I’m friends with the people who bought the company, maybe they’ll cut me a deal.

  771. Audio very would make my summer road trip SO MUCH MORE SPECIAL. I’ll be able to force it upon my girlfriend (in a non violent way, of course), and get her to understand why I keep peeing the bed from laughter every night (I don’t pee the bed, I just giggle a bit too hard to where it feels like I will).

    Either way – I’m glad this book is a thing. I’m glad it’s out. I’m glad YOU’RE out (on book tour).

    Love,
    Kasey

  772. Alas you’re coming close to my area but even though I feel like we’re secretly mental illness twins or at least equally “special” third cousins, my anxiety doesn’t let me travel more than an hour from my home on my own. My annoyingly wonderful husband doesn’t think seeing you after a 6+ hour car drive constitutes an awesome slightly early anniversary present, sigh. I’m glad your tour is winding up though. Wish I could’ve come but I’ll send you tour well wishes and hopes for awesome presents from fans who do make it.

  773. Ooooh, the Australian one!! I already have a copy, but i figure you can never have too many 😀 plus then i can gift one to my sister!

  774. You have lots of Aussie fans! I would love the Australian version – thanks!
    I can’t think of anything witty to say here either but I always look forward to reading your blog always – thankyou for writing!

  775. I can’t believe you’re missing on the middle of the country? You don’t want to visit Kansas? Did you know that the state has been scientifically proven to be flatter than a pancake? AND, you can see the world’s largest ball of twine? You know that you want to come here and add another leg to your tour.

    Oh, and I’d love to audio version of the book.

  776. feel better dear Jenny!
    You just made my day. In my area, Boston, on June 8th- my birthday?! There is NO better gift.

  777. I would love the audio book, please! I would love to share you with my husband! ……wait,…… 🙂

  779. I’ve already read the e-book and my friend listened to the audible, I now need the audible to learn about being an icee barista! I need a new career goal.

  781. I’d love the UK version! I was born in England and have dual citizenship; so British me could politely chuckle while reading it and look disdainfully at the American me rolling on the floor laughing. 🙂

  783. I have no idea if you will read the comments all the way down here to 740ish. Or is it 740ump-te-ump? 740 comments seem a lot to me. 740 seems like a large number all by itself. Also an unusual number. nothing comes with 740 parts or pieces. after wasting some minutes, but much less than 740, I found that MapQuest shows I can drive 740 miles from my house to Quebec City, Canada. It seems like a nice place and worth the 740 miles. I would rather go to Australia, though. Or at least first. if I start driving from my home in Northern Virginia toward Australia, 740 miles from my house brings me to DeKalb, Illinois. I am not sure I want to go there. Do I? My trip to Australia is 15,555 miles according to Google. I had to switch to Google as MapQuest was being a snob and wouldn’t let me go there. Google is much cooler with the whole trip to Australia. Secretly, it may want to go there, too. But first I need to get a kayak, ’cause Google told me that when I got to the West Coast I will need to kayak 2,756 miles to Hawaii. Now, THAT seems like a large number. In a kayak. Would you join me? When I saw you at the B&N bookstore in Annapolis earlier this week, I thought to myself that you had strong arms. I bet you could row that shit out of that kayak. and truthfully, I could use the help. I have a back injury that has flared up, and I had to take some vicodin this morning. Can you tell? When we get to Adelaide –that’s in South Australia- I could introduce you to my friends Revenge and Ouranos. We met online playing this online game online. It is called Ikariam, but I don’t know how to say it. Oddly enough, since it’s played online, did I mention that part? And no one ever meets anyone else in person; we don’t actually know how it’s pronounced. I say I-car-I-am. They say its ick-ah-rim. I just think they’re wrong. Ouranos is a nurse and Revenge is a dietician. And they’re dudes. And in the game they are berserker-crazy, rampaging, rage-pillage-plunder, leave no one behind alive kind of guys. And then Ouranos goes home in his yellow car and grows grapes in his backyard. And Rev has 3 kids. He sent me a picture of his littlest one. I know all this ‘cause I’m the kind of gamer who likes to chat and offer you a digital Oreo and Pepsi while I bash your castle walls down. I’m ladylike that way. So I think it would be a great thing to take your book on our kayak expedition to South Australia to meet my gamers friends. We could drink Aussie beer and I would bring the Oreos. Double stuff, of course. How many can we fit in the kayak?

  786. I’d love the audio version for my commute! Thank you. Cheers!

  787. Try the little wig on Ermine Granger!!!! Ron Weasely’s already a ginger, but she needs the wild hair.

    (I’ve read the book already, so if I win, draw again!)

  789. Audio! Audio! I am bummed that previous commitments prevented me from attending your reading at BookPeople in Austin.

  791. I would love love love a UK version please, not for me but to give to my friends because I want everyone I know to read it but do not want to give my version away as will never see it again I fear x

  792. OOOoooo an Australian audio book??? Just kidding, but no.
    No, I’m not.
    I will settle for just an audio book though.

  793. I would be so insanely thrilled to get an Australian copy. Being Australian and all. Also, I’m a vet student so I am totally there with you on the dead animal thing – although I study them, rather than collect them. My friends and I have started a skull collection which is going well. Instead of dressing up the skulls; instead I just dress up my own live pet dog. She recently got a brown coat with a poppable collar that makes her look like dr who. We’re going to dress up my housemates cat like the tardis. Oh, have I mentioned that in between hating exams and assignments that I laugh myself sick over your blog. You are part of the net that keeps me sane. So, um, G’day mate. No worries. Xx

  795. I’m itching for the audio version of your book. It’s almost like I got into some poison ivy.

  796. But what size wig does he wear? Does it have one of the good elastic wig caps? You know you gotta give him the best. Also, your Pullips are making me want to break into a new hobby and BJD’s already have me strapped, yo.

    *cough* BUT I’d love any hard copy of your book I could get my hands on. >.>

  797. You need to extend the tour and swing through Minneapolis after Chicago…I would love to see you in person!!

    I would love a copy of the audio version of the book.

  801. You are loved, even when you’ve nothing witty to say. Thanks for YOU!
    (audio, please & thank you)

  806. We love you Jenny, hoping you feel more like your self soon. As for the book, I’d take an audio copy.

  807. Audiobook, for sure! But I’m going to need you to deliver it to me in that Ron Weasley wig.

  808. Perhaps it should be Hermione’s wig. It looks a lot like her hair and could easily be dyed.

  809. CHICAGO!! Do you know if one needs a ticket to the event to come and visit? 🙂

    Also, since it seems to be a thing, audio?
    😀

  812. With that wig, it must be Ron and Hermoine’s son….because that’s his color and her frizz.

    And I still don’t see Minnesota on that list. Hmmmmmm. Are you boycotting this state because you think it’s too nice? Let me disabuse you of the notion; Minnesota Nice is propaganda with no basis in reality.

    You should come and see for yourself. I’m just sayin’……….

  814. Boo. I wanted to go to the Boston/Brookline signing and, of course, I have to work both jobs that day. I am sad now. 🙁 Please come to Albany, NY.

  815. I’m an aspiring blogger, and comedian! I’m relocating away from rural NY to even more rural West Virginia next month and would love the audio book for my long drive! As a young woman who suffers from panic attacks and OCD, I find myself relating to you. Your book had me laughing so much, I almost peed (yep, too much info there). You really are a role model to me! Thank you so much for your blogging and your book, because I now know I too can grow up into a ballsy, kickass woman.

  816. It appears that you borrowed the wig from Twisted Sister Dee Snider’s rejected wig collection.

  817. I would love a copy of the audio version! This made my day, obviously.

  818. I would love anything you gave me. Ever. But, in the interest of this giveaway, I choose the audiobook.
    AUDIOBOOK! (That was me putting it out into the universe.)

  819. I have the audio already. Would love it in print too. Aussie? UK? Sure!

  820. It looks like a wig for Ginny, not Ron. I think having the Audio version would be awesome!

  821. I agree, that’s definitely Ginny’s wig. But it’s definitely excellent! Also….I think the audio version would be so stellar. I’m moving states in a month and having that for my partner and I to listen to would be super fun. He watched me laugh constantly as I read your book, and I read some parts out loud to him, but it’s just not the same coming out of my mouth..

  823. Argh! Only saw this this morning, and tickets were apparently sold out by last night!

    I was so stoked!

    And now I’m so down…

    Sigh.

  824. Personally, I just like the title “Leg Three.” wink, wink. nudge, nudge. UK version, pretty please. [loved seeing you in San Antonio!]

  825. I already have your book. But I just loved hearing you read from it when you were in Concord, NC, so it would be awesome to have the audio version!

  826. Australian!! By the way, the knitted scarf is pretty and I love the wig. I have a friend who can knit you a booby or uterus, you know, just in case you need an extra one.
    P.S. please come to Seattle!!!!!

  827. Since I already have the hard copy, audio! It will go in my ‘go to sleep listening to’ pile with D.Sedaris and C.Handler.

  828. The Australian copy would be fun to have. Thank you for the opportunity!
    Ron looks ready for the opera.

  830. I’m still not seeing Oklahoma City on the list. What does a girl have to do? Knit you another wig? Because I’ll do it. It won’t be pretty, but I’ll do it.

  831. Audiobook please! Minneapolis isn’t that far from Chicago, could you please swing up here? It’s not snowing…

  832. Need some help from others who have read Let’s Pretend This Never Happened. I suggested that my book club read this book, and now I need some talking points.

    Thanks!!!

  833. Ron Weasley should keep his badass ‘fro! Just imagine how much depth his character could’ve had with that added awesomeness!

    I’d still love a UK version of your book 🙂

  834. Audio! Reading your book was funny enough to make me cry, so I imagine hearing it will make me pee my pants. Note to self: remember to put plastic down on the furniture.

  837. Audio book! Please dear god give me the audio book!

    Also, kindly add Kansas to your book tour!!! Please please please!

  838. Audio Book would be great. Not having the best day myself. Having a hiding in the bathroom kind of day. But I learned from you that depression is a lying bastard. Hope things will look up. Thanks for your blog and book. They help me remember I am not alone with my depression.

  839. I’m no surprised your low on wit. You’ve been “on” forever. Just a little more and then you’ll be home for some much deserved R&R. Hang in there young one.

  840. I would love the UK version pretty please! I have the audio book and LOVE it!

  842. Not only would I love a copy of the UK version (well any version) but I would LOVE LOVE LOVE it you were to come visit the Pacific NW during your book tour. I know you have been very busy and you would rather stay home but……we need some bloggess up here too!! (I’m in Portland, OR). I keep looking and wishing and hoping to see a date close to me but alas……it is not so. Sad Bobbie. But….I will still read the book. You give me a laugh everyday and some days, it is really a necessity. I may not wear my silver ribbon with pride, yet, but one day it will adorn my red cape and I will wear them both with pride, knowing that I am not alone. Thank you for just being YOU!

  844. I wish you were coming to Charleston, SC… on another note, sometimes in the middle of an email, instead of saying “anyway” I’ll say “anyhooker” (or something similar) just to see if people really read everything you write in an email. They don’t. They read what they *think* you’re gonna say. Just sayin’…

    Anywhore, I’d love an audio book.

  845. Audio 🙂 I have the hardback but I need the quirkiness of your voice to add to the experience 🙂

  847. I really want the audio book!

    But, I would probably laugh so hard in the car that I would run into a fucking pole.

    Thanks for wrecking my car, asshole!

  848. I can’t wait to meet you in Boston next month! I think the audio book would be a good choice.

    See you soon!

  849. UK version! Love the fancy lettering . . . and I’ve already loaned my copy out to spread the love and enrich the lives of others with your awesomeness. Loves to you, and I really think you’d love it in Fayetteville, AR.

  850. I would take anything you wanted to throw my way, but if I must choose I would like the UK version. (or audio I’m not picky)

  852. I would love a copy of your Audio version please! Reading the book was hilarious…but to hear you SAY it….would be amazing!!

  853. That wig is a damn shame…damn shame I don’t have one for myself.

    I would love the audio version so that I may hear your lovely voice in my earhole.

  854. I would LOVE to have the audio version to hear you read it!
    Also, I would have loved to come visit you on your book tour if you’d come anywhere close in the Pacific Northwest. 🙁

  856. St. Louis peeps… want to carpool up to Chicago?

    That UK version looks pretty swanky 🙂

  857. Some days we are just off, can’t be helped. Ig I had a choice I’d love an audio version as I already have have the the hard copy beauty!

  862. 1. Tell me, is it *very* sad that I read the title of this post and giggled like a twelve-year-old boy?
    2. I have to point out that Ron Weasley is a ginger, not Carrot Top.
    3. Paper! It smells nicer.

  863. You should come to Colorado…preferably Denver..
    Just sayin..

    I’d love the UK Version of the book…it looks soo pretty!

  865. I wish you were coming to Seattle… Maybe another leg added to the tour?
    (Audio)

  866. UK Version. I am afraid if I were to get the audio book, I would listen in the car and laugh til I swerved off the road to an untimely death.

  867. I’m REALLY hoping to come to your book tour in Chicago. Except I already bought the ebook. Can you sign that? Or maybe if I win a paper version that might be easier? Pick me! Pick me!

    BTW, I’ve seen you signing a lot of other funny stuff too. Have you signed any 3rd nipples? lol!!!

    Lucy

  869. Even fabulous comidians like yourself can have a day off. On occasion.

    (not that I’ll acutally win, but if I do audio version, please. How does the Australian version vary, btw? I don’t remember reading about that one here… is that info confidential to folks on Twitter and/or living down under?)

  872. You are exhausted, Woman. Look where all you have been and where you are headed. REST and let us carry you the rest of the way!!

  873. Australian! I would love the audio, but would feel bad if I made my children plug their ears and sing “La la la” when would listen to it. Wait, wait! I could just go hide in a closet and listen to it… Then we all win!

  875. So many roadtrips coming up in the next couple months! Having the audio version of you along with us for the ride would definitely make the trips soooo much more entertaining. I read the book and LOVED it, and have been trying to get my husband to start reading it…but he’s a ninny and always falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow at night.

  876. Audio, please! I have a long commute (90 minutes each way), and would love to listen while I drive.

  878. It is so sad it’s almost unbelievable, but I didn’t hear about you and your awesomeness until after you had been in Florida. SO UNFAIR! So now I am consoling myself with almost five years of blog posts from you. BTW- I would love the UK version : )

  880. I want the UK one, ya’ll!!!
    I’ll see you in Chicago. WE love you here!

  882. Audio please since I have the REAL book!! Have been reading it before bed and getting some very strange looks from The Husband as I laugh and snort in a most un-lady-like fashion. Loving it!

  883. I gave away my hard copy to a friend-in-need-of-your-advice…and also a laugh. I would like the UK version, please. In case I find another friend.

  884. Cheerio pip pip on the barbie. Either version would be bloody wicked.

  886. Don’t worry we (obviously) all still love you anyway. Besides, you must be friggin’ exhausted from being so awesome all the time. That and the traveling. That and giving me an audio copy of your book.

  887. darn it! of course chicago sold out! and it was even downtown. i was afraid it would be somewhere in naperville or someplace that is called “chicagoland” but is not remotely close to chicago. please let us know when we chicagoans can sign up for a second date. isn’t that great?!

  890. You always make my day, even when you have nothing witty to say. Audio version for me, please.

  891. I’d love to have the audio version of your book. My husband and I have bought two copies of the book as gifts, but I told him I wanted to hold out for the audio book. Hope you feel more like yourself soon. We’re big fans.

  892. We love you even if you aren’t feeling witty today. Being witty is a tough job and you’re allowed a day off from time to time! I wish you had more MidWest stops on your tour!! I would LOVE the audiobook; somehow I think hearing you tell the story would be SO much better than when I read it =)

  893. Hope Ron Weasley doesn’t get too hot in the wig and robe.
    I think audio book would be my first choice, but I’d take anything – I’m not picky.
    😉

    Tricia L.

  894. I would really love an Australian copy of the book because your book is going to be pants wetting hysterical and would be even more so if imagined with an Australian accent. By the way you have inspired a lot of new appreciation of taxidermy in me and all of my friends that I now force to follow your blog.

  895. I’d love the audio version!!! It would definitely help my DC commute be a little more enjoyable!

  897. Arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! An Australian copy would make my day!! Would also give me something AWESOME to read when I was at (my apparent new wake up time) 230AM thanks to morning sickness – a lie if I ever did hear one! It’s all day sickness more like!!

  898. Audio PLEASE And, yes, maybe Mr. Weasley needs a trim – and some freckles!

  899. UK version please! And I love the Ron Weasely wig, but I do think it needs a little shortening. A brown one would be perfect for Ermione-y Granger though.

  901. i would like the audio book but if it comes on CD, my car will eat it. so i guess i want the UK version. but i asked before with wit and was denied. so now i am just asking. actually begging with a prettyprettyprettyPLEAZZZZ attached. i hope that helps. it was kinda hard to type so take that into consideration. i dont do that for just anyone.

  904. It sounds ridiculous coming from a stranger, but I’m so proud of you! Also, I’d love an audio version of your book, so I can listen to it at work and laugh like a maniac. Maybe then I’d scare off enough coworkers so I could have an office to myself.

  906. He can be Ginny Weasel-y instead. Unless you think the change would be too much for him. Maybe he’s a transgender weasel! You never know. They could exist.

  907. Please, I would love the audio version. I am going to Washington state to see my grandkids for the first time IN THREE YEARS, and need something to listen to on my trip from Austin to YankeeLand.

  908. The wig makes Ron Weasley look like the offspring of Ron and Hermione.

    P.S. I had a cat named Ron Weasley, then we adopted him out to a family that named him Bob. Really? He’s got red hair, you can’t call him Bob. Oof. The mistakes people make.

    And not witty? You unwittingly, were witty about being non-witty. Only you could pull that one off.

    Now that I’ve complimented you twice (the offspring thing counts as a comment) I think I’ve earned two copies of the book: audio and UK, because how am I supposed to choose??

  910. Either uk or audio! the uk cover is so much prettier I wish I would have known that before I ordered mine… 🙁

  912. Just moved back to Houston and first your first stop here…perhaps Round 2 of TX cities to come??

    I’d love the UK version. Or really anything else. 🙂

  914. UK would be wonderful. So very happy you’ve gotten as much success as you have!

  915. Audio PLEASE!!!! I fully understand I may risk running off the road…but it’s a risk I’m willing to take!!

  916. Oh ME! MEMEMEMEME! Pleasepleaseplease! The Australian version please. I only get Audible audiobooks and they have this insane thing where “Sorry, we cannot sell this FILE to your geographic location”. WTF? We can’t *get* it here any other way, it isn’t as if you’re infringing someone else’s market share! *grmbl*
    Anyway, would LOVE it. XOX

  917. I don’t see DC on there! 🙁 I guess I missed my chance, shoulda booked it to Annapolis. Australian version please?

  918. I, too, am a member of the breadbag shoe club, but they were called “snow boots” in my corner of the Midwest. And sometimes “ice skates” — if you think breadbags stank as shoes or snow boots, they bit the big one as ice skates. Would love an Australian version (but only if I can read it with an accent).

  920. please can you come to vermont….no one ever comes here…..i do not know why…..its beautiful…its true there are more cows than there are actual people but really that is probably a good thing.
    however, as a devoted reader and SHARER of your blog and your book, which had me laughing OUT LOUD on the plane to north carolina that we had to fly to , to pick up our car that had broken down on the way home from florida ( I think that is why the flight attendant moved us to seats next to the emergency exit, which you ACTUALLY have to pay extra for!?!?)
    so yes please come to the upper valley part of vermont and not the burlington part where when someone actually does come, thats where they go. thank you.

  922. I absolutely love your book! It was awesome! but an audio version, yes please!

  924. You have very talented friends…. talent must attract talent… (and I would take any version of your book, except maybe Russian.)

  925. Hahahahahha, that wig totally makes me chuckle. I’m glad you got some photographic evidence before you trim it.
    I wish I could join you on tour, but that would require one of us to be in a different country, so alas! it is not to be until you visit the UK. Keep the good work, Jenny 😀
    I’d like the audio, please, since I have a printed copy and I’d like to hear the bloopers at the end. Thank you!
    xxxx

  932. LOVE Ron’s scarf– brilliant!… not sure about the hair yet, perhaps after the trim. Audio!! It’s on my Audible wish list but I’d love to have it sooner!!

  934. Audio… duh! I already hear you in my head when I read, but to hear you for real for real would be….. stellar.

  936. I bought your book while I was in the UK but would love your audio book

  938. Hellfire and damnation! I just finished your book and thought I’d check out your blog, only to find that you were in Maryland but now you’re not. Alas, alas! Here I am, a poor native Texan, trapped in the bowels of deepest Baltimore — okay, Parkville, not really Baltimore, but I work in Baltimore, so that counts, right? I could have gone to meet you! (slap forehead) Aw, hell!
    I wanted to let you know that I saw your book mentioned in a Barnes & Noble members’ email, so I downloaded the excerpt on my Nook. I read that, and I was hooked! So I bought the Nook book, and, before I’d finished the second chapter, I decided my twin brother back in Lubbock needed a copy, so I bought him one and mailed it to him. Last night, around 11 p.m., I got a text from him saying that he’d started reading your book, that is was really funny, and he asked me where I’d found it. And I told my boss about it and let her read some of the HR chapter (We do work in HR, after all). I’m spreading the word, so I should totally get one of the non-U.S. editions, right?
    GREAT BOOK!!!! CAN’T WAIT FOR BOOK TWO!!!!

  939. Mr. Weasely looks like the girl from the movie Brave or his baby sister….I’d like a UK version please!!

  941. Jenny,
    Although I was one of the pre-order kindle version book purchasers….I sure wish you were going to be in Los Angeles to meet. I don’t have a physical book to sign but I’d shake your hand and say thanks! EVEN THOUGH I’ve still not finished the book because 1. I’ve been lazy and resorting to TV after work and 2. I’m a slow reader so I don’t always think to open said Kindle.
    If you are able to add a West Coast tour….stop by Santa Monica maybe?!?!
    ~Melissa

  943. I would LOVE a copy of the audio book, particularly since you recorded it yourself. Must listen to hilarity while driving (because THAT’S safe). 😉

  950. How very strange – I bought your book last week and here I am at your blog, completely by accident, just following a link. I haven’t even started reading yet!

    (I bought your book because it reminded me so much of my own “special” childhood – no way to know but something tells me we have plenty in common)

    Anyway I’m posting this comment because I love the photo. May I use it at my blog to promote your book, assuming of course that I love it?

  951. Oh man, I would love the UK version. That way I can sit and make the Wounded Warriors here on Camp Pendleton listen to me speak with a ‘stoff uppa lip’.

    Omg. Please. Lol.

  952. I just finished your book and I’m not even going to let the rivalry for finishing your book before I did get in the way of telling you that it was AWESOME!!! That’s how classy of a loser I am. But just be warned that my book about Eastern European orphans is going to be so funny that it’ll make your book seem as funny as ….the Bible! (love, love, love Wil Wheaton). I’m bummed that I missed your book signing in Houston but Craig F. said that he was able to go and it took him 2 hours to see you. I hope that now that you are a big super star that you won’t forget about us minions that still work at that faith based organization :0)

    I’m so proud of you girl! You did it!!

  953. OK.
    I’m not feeling very creative either. Fancy that. Magazine (bane of my existance but good job) needs to go to the printer tomorrow and the publisher aka my boss is still figurin’ stuff out – i’m fried like Jay & Silent Bob. Big Smiles Everyone BIG SMILES 😀
    oda ouya eakspa igpay atinla?
    I’m thinkin’ audio so’s I kin hear yer cute lil voice with yer slight lil accent.
    sigh
    snowball’s chance in hell. gotta play to win…….
    still sorry i missed my opportunity whilst you were near! 🙁

  954. I’m probably a little late, but I listened to the preview of your audio book and it was absolutely hilarious! If you’re giving away some I would absolutely love to have one! (I just bought the book too!)

  955. Ooh, I would so love to win an Australian version!! I don’t have anything witty to add – hope that doesn’t reduce my chances of winning…

  956. hmmm, I like the UK cover, but my DH is more likely to listen to an audiobook. Audio it is.

  959. So you’re not coming to Denver.

    We’re fighting.

    That is all.

  960. Bought your audiobook over the weekend. This week I’ve been listening in my car and it’s like I’m commuting with my best friend! My best, funniest, most fucked up yet lovely friend.

    Thanks for not making me regret spending the extra dollars. The audiobook extras are totally worth it.

  961. Oooooo….audio bookie please!! I’ve got the hardback with the name plate already. You could read to me on my commute! Please & thank you!

  963. i would love the UK version…also, my daughter, her friend and i will be coming to see you in Montclair N J. yay! The Montclair stop is gonna be huge! We all love you, Jenny!

  964. I’d say Audio because it’d be awesome for long road trips…but that’d have to wait until after I’ve read the book a dozen times and no longer am laugh/crying that hard. But I’d still love it!

  968. Since I like Australian kisses so much, I guess I’ll go with the Aussie copy.

  969. I would love a copy of the Australian version, my delightful Bloggess!

  970. You need to REST! Your adrenals must be screaming! Heard you were AWESOME in Atlanta…I’m so sorry I couldn’t make it… Our cupcakes would have rocked your world! 🙂 Rest, girl.

  971. My wife and I read your blog all the time and are going to buy your book, but we’re moving and so are waiting until we’re settled to buy it. Anyway, I was at a bookstore the other day looking at your book and the clerk came up and told me how good it was, and I said “I know, I read her stuff all the time!”, but the lady didn’t understand because I don’t think she realized you blogged or something and I said I hadn’t read this particular book. But the moral of this story is that my wife and I are moving to Australia for 9 months so we’d love a copy of the Australian version! Then when we return to Canada then we’ll actually buy a copy of it so you get some money and we can give it as a gift to my sister who also has a twisted sense of humour.

  973. Since the Chicago event is now sold out we should all mourn that my absence will lower the handsomeness in the room by at least 30 points. 20 pts.? Okay, 5 pts. That’s accurate.

  974. Just got my copy of your book, so excited to read it! And yes, I will be blogging about it. You’re my blogging inspiration, just wanted to say thanks for being you! You’re awesome fantastic.

  975. Hi, I would love copy of the audio, Australian version. I’m halfway through the hardcopy, I had no idea there were so many kinds of vicious cats in Texas (bobcats, cougars, vampire cats). Does the audio have an Aussie accent? My email address says UK but I’m Australian (long story).

  978. +1 on the Seattle stop!!! If we ask pretty please will you consider?? I can offer my fine (Malamute-run) cottage as a venue.. or perhaps I can organize something with my employer (amazon)… can’t guarantee but I would be happy to see what I could do!! Seattle is pretty awesome this time of year… just right for a book celebration.. you know what I mean?? 🙂

  980. i have a long ass road trip to knoxville, tennessee ahead of me (don’t ask)…the audio book would surely keep the ol’ hubs & i entertained enough so we don’t kill each other! so, whenever you have nothing witty to say, you can tell people you save marriages ^_^

  981. Audio please. I assigned an imaginary friend to someone. The iFriend is named Ralph and is missing both middle fingers. Freak accident at the academy. Actually it’s because Ralph was rude.

  982. HOLY BALLS I’LL BE IN NYC FOR BLOGWORLD. I might just come up and say hello. If I can manage the balls. <3

  983. Klingon please. Or failing that the Australian variant. Or maybe the Canadian one which I’m sure is on it’s way. No, not the French Canadian version THAT WOULD BE SILLY. I just think that the book could do with more bacon references and “Eh?” Like in Shakespeare or quotes from the Dali Lama.

  984. Would so love the audio version. Can’t wait to see Harry Otter join the group. Expecto Taxidermus!

  985. I would love anything I can get that you would be kind enough to sign!!! I actually live in ur neck of the woods. In New Braunfels, Texas. Will u be doing any local signings? I love your book and your blog. I recommend them to everyone……..write quickly…….I want more…

    Cat:)

  987. Of course I’d love a copy of your book! Any copy (except audio. My ADHD doesn’t allow me to listen very well). I keep wanting to buy this delectable delight, but the pathetic poor college student, new home owner that I am does not permit it just yet. I will scrounge up the pennies eventually, probably after the entire world has read it before me.

  988. I would definitely absolutely (you understand I am completely sure with no doubts-right?) enjoy the audio book which would leave my hands free to wipe the tears of laughter from my eyes!

  989. The UK version. Also, can’t believe I was in fucking Missouri for my baby brother’s graduation and missed you coming to MD. Damnit.

  990. Would love the audio book to laugh to on my commute to work. Hope you make a stop in Denver. So happy for your success.

  991. I want a hard copy that I can throw at my co worker when I’m laughing hysterically at my kindle version…that way when I hit her with the dead tree version of your book she will appreciate the irony of her laughing as I whop her up side her head. You welcome.

  992. That hair is the best. You have amazing friends. A Severus Snape version would be so fantastic I might wet myself it I saw it on your blog! PS. I’d love the Australian version of your book! Is it ever coming out in an ereader format?

  994. Any of them 🙂 I am from the uk, live in Australia & have ears, so any would be fantastic! Although listening to the audiobook in the car with my impressionable 1 year old in the back might not be very clever, imagine what she might start saying!!!

  995. Here I am, trying one more time for the audiobook…
    Who actually dusts all these things? The shelf they’re on always looks so clean… if they were in my house, there would be more dust.

  998. I’d love to hear when you are doing the Australian leg of the tour, but I’ll settle for a copy of the Australian Audio book. Or a Gryfindor scarf knitted especially for my cats… and an outrageous red wig… and…..

  1000. An Australian tour would be awesome but an Aussie version would be good too. I think Ron needs a girlfriend….maybe a Hermousie 🙂

  1002. Australian version of the book PA-LEASE?!!!!
    I’ve been looking for it here and can’t find it :'(

  1003. I would love the audio version! Please make my commute enjoyable!!

  1004. I’d like the UK version!
    I already have the paperback (it arrived yesterday, squeeeeeal!) but I’d love to be able to listen to the audio book when I go running. I imagine it would make the miles fly by!

  1007. I would love any version in any format! I’m very flexible…but if I have to choose, I’ll take audio version.

    The truth is, at this point, I just really need your special gift of making me laugh out loud.

    Thank you, Jenny!!!

    Sam

  1008. I would love the UK audio version because if it’s UK than you would have to have a British accent, and I would love to hear your British accent. But than what does your Australian accent sound like?

  1010. An audio copy please. With his new hair, Ron Weasely looks like he made a cameo in “This is Spinal Tap!”

  1012. So, how many manic fans do you have in South Africa? Just asking, because I’m definitely your biggest. And I kind of stalk all my friends and have spread my Blogess addiction around the country quite a bit… So I think it would only be fair if you send me an audio book to keep me entertained while I’m in prison…!

  1013. I’d love the audio but I will take any version. Wish I could see you here in MA but already booked for that evening. Bummer.

  1014. Audio would be awesome. Maybe as awesome as Ron Weasley’s wig. But probably not quite. I mean, you could probably hide fugitives under that thing. And no one would even suspect him because he’s a gryffindor.

  1015. I happened to tell my mental health professional about you on wednesday (Aus time), so she went and looked you up, and died laughing.

    At least in my head she did.

    She actually looked at me weirdly when I was talking about giant metal chickens…

    (Yes, I’d love the Australian version, please!)

  1016. Just finished your book. LOVE LOVE LOVE! So…when are you writing another one ; )

  1017. I would love the audio version, please.
    I’ve put on a few pounds and my doctor told me “It wouldn’t hurt you to walk once in a while. ”
    Since I probably can’t have the real you, it’d be nice to take you along walking with me in audio version. Unless I were to kidnap you and tie our legs together like in those potato sack races. That could be fun.

  1018. Thank you!! Thank you!! Thank you for adding another date in Chicago! My gnome (Jerome) and I are ecstatic! Can’t wait to have you sign him!

  1020. UK VERSION PLEASE 🙂 I’m almost done with my Ebook and I would love to have it in hardback too. You absolutely slay me!

  1021. Audio, please! I am about half-way through your book, and already mourning the fact that it’s almost over!

  1024. You should definitely do a fouth ‘leg’ .
    You could hit Chicago again, and Minneapolis and Des Moine and maybe Kansas City.
    Really mainly Des Moines. I’m just trying to sound accomadating.
    Just Des Moines if you please.

  1025. Jen, so excited you’re coming to Chicago! I checked out your link and the thing is SOLD OUT! OH NO! Any other way to get a ticket to see you?

  1026. Oh, you’re coming to Chicago! That’s only a few hours away….
    Now, to convince the hubby that we NEED to visit Chicago.

  1027. LOVE the scarf! Thr red wig IS a little disturbing.

    p.s UK plz!!!

    finally seeing some sun in “raincouver”
    Kim

  1029. You should totally make the second stop for the sold out Chicago one in Louisville! It is between several other cities and close to Chicago, and in the middle of an area you haven’t been yet on your tour. And we totally have cheesecake eggrolls here! Everyone wins!!

  1030. Images of Ron Weasely rocking the Carrot Top wig are going to haunt me for the rest of my days…..
    To console myself, I must get my hands on a UK copy of your book!

  1031. I would really love the audio book. I’m very easy to please.

  1032. That wig is brilliant. I would love to get a UK version of the book, please! I am now in the UK, but I’ve been enjoying your blog for years from Australia. You are fantastic, thank you.

  1033. Denver. Deeeeeeeenver. Tattered Cover in Denver would looooooove you, I’m sure, and it’s the coolest bookstore in town. I’d bring you taxidermy! or clothes for Ermione Granger. Or cake. Or Xanax. You know.. whichever.

    Did you know that you can get drunkerer fasterer at high altitudes if you aren’t used to them? Cheap drunk!

  1034. I’d like the audio book version…. But also.. I per-ordered and never got my bookplate, I even filled out the form 🙁

  1036. I haven’t a hope in MF’ing hell of getting stuff – or even the UK version and/or audio version ‘cos you’ve quite possibly given up after the 1000th post for-the-love-of-dog!!! (God, I mean god….) Anyhoo, would love some of your wisdom in the form of your somehow-to-me-holy-grail book – seriously, there are very few occasions i laugh out loud. I really wish I was one of those people who are quick to laugh – they’re the ones I admire the most 🙂 But i console myself with the fact that when I laugh you will goddamn know about it whether you like it or not – my boyfriend is testimony to that, and it’s most often when I read you’re blog. I usually get all ‘Yes!!!. That!!! You seee??? Thats the thing!!’ because i’m really quite crap at articulation. Unless Gentleman Jack gives me elocution lessons….

  1037. Is it just me or did you miss the whole West Coast ? Who schedules these locations anyway and more importantly why do they hate the West Coast ?

    I’d take the UK version please

  1038. I would love for you to swing by the northwestern suburbs of Chicago!! My neighbor introduced me to your humor so there would be at least 2 of us there to see you! I don’t care what version I get!

  1039. I would LOVE to get a UK copy! I’m excited that you’re stopping in Brookline, MA!

  1040. I would love the UK version of the book please. I passed my copy to my mama and I fear that I will never get it back.

  1041. Just heard about you on NPR. Had to check you out.
    I’ve been blogging in my dreams for years – I’ve got so many of your symptoms and just knew people needed to know all about that great mix of anxiety, depression and motherhood. But I forgot that one ingredient that binds the whole darn thing together – humor.

    Oh well – I’m going to get off my duff and get my humorless blogg out of the ether and into the sphere. Thanks for the inspiration. Let’s be friends!

  1043. How cool, you have not come to KCMO but I got to listen to you on NPR a few minutes ago! You were wonderful Jenny!!!!! I think we need to get you another red dress, one that glows , in the dark and that can be seen by viewers even if they are just listening to you on the radio. Thank you again for making all of us feel like we belong.

  1047. I’ve not been able to muster myself much these past 2 days, so I totally understand. Waiting for it to pass. If you pick me, I’d love the audio. Hang in there.

  1050. I hope to come see you in Brookline. I’m new to your blog and will probably be too shy to say anything, so please know that on that evening, somewhere in the long line of your devoted fans, there will be another Jenny who delights in your writing and who can be cheered, even on the gloomiest of days, with a re-reading of “And that’s why you should learn to pick your battles”. Of course, if I have my small son Joseph in tow, that will be a dead give-away;)

    Best of luck on your tour! I hope you sell out at all your stops.

    (Audio book would be nice, please. Thank you.)

  1051. I really want the audio book! I’ve been DYING for it and my birthday is coming up next week, so keeping my fingers crossed. I’m half-way through the hardback and I swear I can hear you reading it in my head (is that weird? not just hearing voices, but YOUR voice!!). I’d love to actually hear you reading it!

    xoxo, love you!

  1052. I would love a copy of the Aussie version, way down here in Kiwiland I need a good laugh. I concur Ron looks awfully Hermioneish in that wig.

  1053. Ok, even though I already posted here yesterday, I’m getting scared that my chances of getting the audio version are diminishing! AAHHHH! Not like my life depends on this, but kind of, because you can ask my boyfriend Bart, I need to have more fun and stop being so derious and merose (did I spell that right?). And the way to do that is to laugh, like belly aching laughter! You are my laughter savior! Though Bart and I were laughing pretty hard tonight about going to a Renaissance Faire and playing a period song about an ogre that is going to chase after the hero of our song and probably tear him up and eat him, or whatever ogres do, but the hero is taking a dump in the woods, hears the ogre coming, and has to make like a tree and leave and can’t cover it up properly. So then the ogre slips in the dookey and rolls down the hill to his death. All this said with a tambourine and recorder of course, very merry and danceable. Audio version Baby! CAN”T SAY IT ENOUGH APPARENTL—AUDIO AUDIO AUDIO!! Por favor, pretty please?? I’m batting my eyes as I write this. I had you put on my cool cat sunglasses when I took a pic of you at the book signing in San Rafael. I was this close to giving them to you, cause you kind of rocked them, but they’re my only rock out glasses. Very selfish of me. Don’t let me lose points over that ok? I let you put them on right? I could send you the pic with you in them, so in your element. Take care, I’ll go now and dream of your audio in my hot little hands!

  1054. Audiobook!

    True story of what just happened when I read this post and saw that you’d be in Brookline: I ran into the bedroom to tell my sleeping husband that I had something extremely important to tell him and commenced to tell him that you’d be in Brookline on June 8. He gave me the sleepy devil stare and told me it wasn’t important enough (LIES) to wake him up and that the following count as important: gas leak or a broken window or a squirrel in the living room, but also that if it was a squirrel we could have taxidermied him for you as a gift.

  1057. The audio would be simply amazing:)) and will there be a fourth leg of this tour with las vegas in it?

  1058. You need to come closer to Canada! Seattle!! Or come to Canada would be a better option 🙂

    I also would like a copy of what you’re giving away :):):):)

  1060. Yay for Boston !! That day my husband and I are celebrating our 14th wedding anniversary (with you ) at the Brookline Booksmith. Hope you don’t mind if I bring some candles for ambiance….

  1061. I would love an Australian one to give to my soon to niece-in-law. She introduced you to me via the Beyonce blog and she has a baby Beyonce. I have just finished the eBook while recovering from laproscopic surgery and laughed myself silly over the engagement and laxative stories in particular. It hurt! Would love for her to read it.

  1062. WANT.

    Want.WANT.Want.WANT.

    Hmmmm – that sounds *awfully* greedy.

    But it’s honest. Does that count??

  1063. Crap. Probably making my entry VOID, but I was such a dumbass (you know, saying “want” over and over because I had nothing witty to say. n.o.t.h.i.n.g….!)

    Kind of forgot to say WHICH version I want.

    Is it too late to beg for the audio version? Or the Aus. version? Or the British version? Any is fine. All three is better. But esp. the verbal one, because I want to hear you read the book to me the way YOU would read it.

    Thank you. (and crud, again, because frankly, being a mom of 2 – one being a teenager – has apparently fried my brain.)

  1064. 1062 replies down, I don’t like my chances, but I’m a bona fide Australian who’d love an Australian copy of your book!!!

    My iPhone wanted to change the above sentence to something very strange indeed..

  1067. Audio!!! Ohhh I hope I’m not too late!!! You have no idea how bad I wanted to drive 8 hours to Chicago to come see you. Unfortunately, my boss sucks and wouldn’t give me the day off 🙁 I planned on running him over but it looks like the poor sap has a second chance at life. Hope to see you soon!

  1068. I’d love to have any of them, but if I really must choos, I’ll have the UK edition.
    Thank you!!!

  1069. I would like any of them, though I remember the UK version being more whimsical 😀

  1070. Audio! How about coming to St Augustine? We are just a couple hours from Disney World. 🙂

  1071. I already got the book. Am ready to hear the extra Audio Book extra chapter.

    That said, I am sorry about the timing. As soon as you said you were coming to New Jersey, my wife and I immediately said, “Road Trip!” Unfortunately, we will not be in the area for your stop-over. WE ARE DISAPPOINTED! That said, thank you for extending your book tour. We appreciate you going around and doing this.

    Be good! Be happy! And, keep writing!

  1072. Seriously? You’re coming to Boston the ONE DAY I can’t come?
    My husband’s Alive Day – the day he should have died (in Iraq in 2006) but didn’t is June 8 and I’m throwing him a party. Consider yourself invited. I have two bathrooms so you don’t have to feel guilty for monopolizing one. Tweet me @themarydragon if you’re free that evening! There’s booze!

  1075. i bet I’m too late for the draw, but I love the idea of you introducing each chapter saying “g’day, mate. You still awake there, sunshine? Strewth, this chapter’s a beauty!” 🙂

  1076. Just bought the ebook and am already laughing my ass off (no – I don’t like acronyms). If your Australian audio book is you reading it with an Australian accent – then I totally want it!!

  1077. Jenny, where can I get ur book in ePub, mobi, etc format. Ur book isn’t available in South Africa in paperback so I wanna buy it in ebook format! Please help!!!

  1078. I kept checking and checking the site for the Chicago stop info, and then I finally see it but its already sold out?? Um is there any way u could email someone when u get the new Chicago info? Puhleeeeeeeze???

  1079. So yeah. I really want to see you, but I’m not paying $400 for a Blogworld ticket. And the NJ date won’t work for me. Big bummer. I hope you come round again…

  1081. So….. you offer the Australian version. Is this version also the “you New Zealander’s can probably just have this version too since your country is way too small, and way too green, and way too interested in sheep to warrant a specific New Zealand option” ???

    Love, a New Zealander who isn’t lying when she says she has never shagged a sheep.

    Or thought about shagging a sheep.

    Until now.

  1082. Please please please come to Detroit! I will help facilitate the venue for you! I am a huge fan who found Beyonce’s long lost chicklette in the back woods of Michigan!!! Photo evidevnce!!!

    Please come to the D!!!!!

  1084. NONONONONO NO! you cannot come to Chicago and have it already sold out! It was MY IDEA for you to come here and I was busy getting drunk with hot, sweaty college boys* this weekend so I MISSED THIS. You simply must do a second day. Preferably on a date I’m available. How’s the 12th of June look for you? Somewhere outside the city, say, 30 minutes south?

    *the infield at the Indy 500 is full of hot, sweaty college boys… Ah…

  1085. Seeing Ron Weasely in that fabulous wig completely makes up for the lack of wit. I would, however, just like to point out that he looks less like Ron Weasley and more like Carrot Top.

    Also, I would like to mention that I will take any version of your book that you would be willing to give to me. UK, Australian, e-book, notes written on napkins, etc.

  1086. I’ve been reading your book (yes, you’re welcome… except it’s from the library, so maybe not that much. Except that I was person 247 on the wait list at the library, which makes me think that like 3 more people and people would go 250 ahead of me?! I’m not waiting for that! I’ll buy the damn book! So by my NOT buying it and increasing your wait list, I actually caused many many more people to buy it. So you’re welcome. … where was I?) and every time my 3 year old sees the front cover she says – Mommy, it’s a mouse dressed as Snow White.

    I don’t know what to tell her.

    Audio book please!!!

  1087. I would like an audio version. In return, all you have to do is go to France and orgasm issues are cured. Seriously. No really, it works.

  1089. Figures that you’d finally come to my area (Brookline) on the day my daughter graduates High School _and_ turns 18.
    I can’t exactly skip out on that.
    But if you’d like to come by for cake drop me an email…

  1091. Yeah you look ass naked. LOL. You are coming to Ohio on this book tour of yours, aren’t you?

  1093. Shit, shit, shit! You are coming to my town, MY TOWN, on June 6, and I put the ticket in my shopping cart and was totally going to happily pay the $25 which includes a book even though I already bought the e-book because obviously I could use two books, and then I remembered, June 6 is our anniversary, which probably means my husband is going to want to eat dinner and have sex with me and not attend any book readings.

    Stupid anniversary.

  1094. Now that I’ve had a moment to think about it……

    You wouldn’t be interested in an anniversary menage a trois, right?

  1095. The book version! Your coming to North Jersey, which is only like 2 hours away from me and I’m so sad I can ‘t make it! So close, but so far.

  1096. Has there been any update on adding a second date to the Chicago stop of the book tour? We are coming from Detroit on a wing and a prayer that you do add the second date!

  1097. I love England. I love (no, really, and not in a weird stalker way, but just in a non-weird human-we’re-all-in-this-shit-together way) you. So, I’d love a copy of your book. The UK one. And if you could find it in your heart to add a little town in Northern CA to your book tour, that’d be great. You have a LOT of admirers here. And not weird ones. Ok, maybe some weird ones. But not many. You’d fit right in with us.

  1100. Ms Lawson,
    Just a few weeks ago I called your Dad to invite him to dinner in a local hunting camp (what a surprise-HUNTING CAMP). Henry (her Dad for those who don’t know him), stated that he couldn’t as his daughter was due in town later that evening for her BOOK signing. We have met (AKA Jed Cormier) but havent seen each other in some time…….I asked about the book and he told me…..it is the story of Jennifer growing up in his home!! I have known your Dad for 30+yrs and so have an idea of what him being your Dad was like! The angel your mother is….is still not enough to balance the personality of your Dad.
    I was impressed when he told me the success your book is expierencing. My wife picked up the book this weekend and I called your Dad to ask him to let me know te next time your in town, so that I might have the pleasure of you signing it.
    Tonight, as I played a little poker on FB, my wife began reading from the beginning of your book. Amid loud cackles of laughter and a continual nodding of my head…agreeing with your direct and expert summary of your Dad and HIS way of life, I knew that for the first time in decades I would be reading a book from cover to cover!

  1102. When are you going to come back south for your book tour…geographically speaking?

  1103. The wig makes him look like Hermoine! And technically *SPOILER ALERT* since she married Ron in the end, her last name would be Weasley! Perfect!!

    Also, I’m sorry if someone already said this but I’m too lazy to read all the comments…

  1104. In regards to Ron Weasley…now he looks more like Princess Merida from the movie Brave, look at those flaming red locks!

  1105. Wow, you nearly made me piss my pants as I recall my little bro, being a total pain in the ass then, cutting up banana, putting it into my winter boots (which arlready had holes thank you very much)…them ripening oh so nicely overnight…then me having to wear bread bags IN my boots because of the little effer…
    Audio and no worries, we can’t always be effing hilarious 🙂
    When are you coming to Canada?

  1106. I sat next to your friend in Gaithersburg as she knit this thinking ‘what the hell is she making?!’ and there it is! Ron’s Scarf. So great.

  1107. If you are still giving away audiobooks I would LOVE one!! I wasn’t able to snag a copy of your book yesterday at the book blogger convention but after near pissing myself from your hilarity during your closing speech I think I would enjoy an audiobook read by you any day!! I would listen to an any audiobook you read lmao.

    Thank you so much in advance!

    Stay gold pony boy,
    Becky

  1110. This is the most histerical book I have ever read… No offense to Burroughs or Sedaris, but I think they would agree. My only complaint (don’t worry, I am not a member of PETA) is that I have been kicked out of my bedroom on account of reading your book. I crawled into bed last night while the husband was soundly sleeping until I startled him awake with the uncontrolable craughing (craughing: crying/laughing/almost peeing myself). He woke up very concerned over the crying and while still half-asleep he tried to determine the source of my grief saying things like, “Please tell me you aren’t pregnant again!” and “Shit, is your mother making another unannounced visit? How the hell is she half-way to Dallas already? I thought they took away her license!” (his mind goes to the unthinkable when startled awake like that). I tried to explain that I was actually laughing so hard that I was crying (left out the part about how I might have wet the bed a little) because I was reading the funniest thing ever written and offered to read it aloud to him. He declined my offer and told me to sleep in the guest room until I was finished with the book. “OK, fair enough.” I said as I grabbed my pillow and left. I LOVE this book! I hope your book tour makes a stop near me soon!

  1111. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE – TORONTO, ONTARIO LOVES YOU!!!
    COME DO A BOOK SIGNING HERE, we promise it would be WORTH your time.
    Thank you for being an amazing author, not only hilarious, but actually capable of WRITING a gramatically correct novel while capturing your audience’s attention page by page.
    P.S, you need to cut yourself more slack, and make a quiz with answers such as :
    a) i fucking LOVE this blog
    b) it doesn’t effect me that much
    c) i would recommend this to every single one of my friends + strangers on the street

    Sincerely, a fan from Toronto and her momma 🙂

  1112. I am late on the uptake (again!) busy with a life like so many others….but when Janet Evanovich said read it, I knew it had to be good. You wrote so many things that were close to my experiences that I called my daughter and had her buy the book immedately…(we both swear like its an art form & navigate Texas by “the blue house where that guy got caught…” and both have husbands who simply shake their heads in wonder at how stupid we are)….Hurray for a real woman who found her way and shared the path!!!!! (Looking forward to the next book, get busy!)

  1113. Crap berries. I found you too late. Six weeks too late. I would have come to Montclair to meet you. You are my new favorite person and I love your writing. Buying book with my weekly Amazon order. You rock and you make me laugh sincerely which is hard to do at 48. You get jaded, you know? You un-jade me.
    My husband would have heard me snarf at your Dr. Who exchange but he had the TV too loud for the last four hours his monthly LoTR marathon. I bet if you ask him he’s had a very productive day.
    All the Best,
    Sandra

  1114. ps – maybe an event in Newburgh, NY area? Hudson Valley can use a lot more of you!

  1115. Come to the South…we consume lots of vodka down here! And we are polite enough to share our “good stuff” with you!

  1116. Just typed you the most AWESOME email, but the computer tells me that TheBloggess.com has an error in the address. ?????? What the HECK? I’ve typed it every way known to man, and am still told it is an error. Maybe you’ve heard from so many wacko’s that you’re unplugged from the net? Sure would like to send you my email!!!

    Barb
    (an ex-almost-sorta-neighbor)!!!!

    sound intriguing????

  1117. When are you coming to Portland, OR? I can think of at least 15 people off the top of my head that would be there. The people aren’t off the top of my head, the thinking is. Actually the people ARE off the top of my head. Because otherwise they’d be ON the top of my head and that would be weird. And heavy.

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