If it's Wednesday this must be New Jersey

in Random Crap

Today I’m in New Jersey doing a reading and signing for my book.  Come see me?  Pretty please?

While I’m gone this week I’m phoning it in by rehashing old posts you’ve probably never seen before, like this one, which is 5 years old and was the first comic strip I ever wrote:

first cartoon

Does it count as “writing a comic strip” if I made up my own captions over free clip art?  Because it should.

120 thoughts on “If it's Wednesday this must be New Jersey”

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  4. That’s the best comic I’ve read all day. Coin tricks AND cancer? It’s, like, THE winning combination.

  5. I just realised that it seems like I’m up crazy early reading blogs like those few other crazy people there and I just want to make it clear that I am not. It’s almost 10pm here. Your book signing is probably over by now. (It was awesome). Welcome to the future. It’s dark and raining now.

  10. OK, so your comic strip just reminded me of a true story that I must share with you:

    I had this old bio teacher in high school. He was perpetually in a fed-up state about how we were always being told this causes cancer and that causes cancer and everything everywhere causes cancer. So he’d say, you see this? (rubbing his two index fingers together). THAT can cause cancer!

    Years later, we heard the old man died.

    Of cancer.

  11. Oh, it counts!

    Welcome to NJ, I’ll be there tonight with bells on! (Note to self: buy some bells.)

  12. You are delightful. My plan is to bring husband and kids to Printers Row, where we can all gaze upon you!

    Does the book come with a guarantee that I won’t die laughing? Wait a minute! It would be good to die laughing. (Better than choking on a dime, eh?)

  16. Please tell me that writing comic strips is going to be your new side job. When you have a gift like that, you can’t squander it.

  17. Yes, it counts. I just want to thank you for the power you brought into the room at BEA Bloggers. It was more than inspiring. You have the women bloggers there a sense of where our true power comes from–from being real, being in community and being our beautiful creative selves (which includes having a great sense of humor, in your case!).

  19. On the next leg of your book tour, please make another detour to South Florida.I promise I won’t be sick this time.

    And yes, consider yourself a cartoonist. I call myself a chef, even though I call the pizza place to deliver our dinner. It’s all about perspective.

  20. Yep. Counts.

    Is the snarky cancer-dad girl drinking lemonade the whole time she’s talking? And not even offering the other girl anything? Bitch.

  21. Yup. it counts. Now you have an entire NEW way to entertain us!

    Another Melanie

  22. So, the next book will actually be a comic strip entitled

    “The Bloggess, The menagerie, and Victor Goes Apeshit, Again”

  23. It completely counts! I think most comic strip writers keep reusing their same cartoons and using new verbiage, although I question if they reuse some stuff and change it slightly. For instance, maybe it was a penny.

  27. So excited to see you tonight!!! Jersey KKMFs gonna represent!!! I am bringing my Beyonce to meet you as well, he is very excited. Beyonce that is. My camera is charged up and I can’t wait to hear what section of your book you decide to read…my fingers are crossed for Jenkins, You Mother Fucker but anything you read will be beyond awesome!

  30. I thought I’d leave a comment but I don’t have anything useful to add to this conversation, unfortunately. Except, if people can buy chia pet kits, then you can totally make a cartoon with clip art. Hell, you could even call it “art” art if you want to. Kind of like the guy who picked up random objects like urinals and hung them in art galleries? And I mean that in the nicest possible way.

  31. Hope you and Ro have fun today. She has always seemed like a cool person to hang out with. Could you tell her thanks for all her work getting the word out on Harry Potter and on eBay. I greatly appreciate both! 🙂

  32. I would consider it a comic strip! I loved the humour too. Reminded me of cyanide and happiness.

  34. I would love to see you tonight, but I can’t get a ticket. You’re a hotter ticket than the superbowl. Please don’t hold it against me that I’m from Jersey.

  35. But, but…Seattle…or Spokane…hell, even Boise! I have no taxidermied friends with which to bribe you, but my wife can make you a balloon animal out of yarn that she hand-spun and died! 😀

  37. Wrong on so many levels, yet oh, so right!
    My Dad always said he wanted to live long enough to be a burden to his childre. Not sure about the burden part, but he’s achieved pain-in-the-ass status!

  38. Even when you phone it in it’s good. Don’t worry about the re-post– it’s all new to me because I drink heavily. Also, thanks for not using the term “ACK!” in your comic strip. I see big things in your future. (metal chickens, mostly)

  39. Of course it counts – something as Bloggessy as that cartoon is evidently all your own.
    Enjoy Jersey (not that there’s much to enjoy about the place, really). Don’t go too crazy on The Shore…!

  40. I’m pretty sure captions over clipart is the default now. In other news, I’m really hoping to see you in Brookline this week, but it’s not looking good on the ride front. I’ll be there in spirit anyway, so if you see any misty clouds that don’t photograph well, that’s me.

  41. My grandfather-in-law was fond of the “my last check is going to bounce” comment. He was a douchecanoe. He actually convinced my father-in-law to cosign on a loan for a new RV months before he died, and now my in-laws are stuck with the payment. Of course they’re douchecanoes too, so fuck ’em.

  42. Oh.My.God. I am so excited because I LIVE in New Jersey (enter generic Jersey joke here) and you are IN New Jersey! And the best part is that you are so super close to where I live! I just need to ditch my kids and hubs and I’m off to meet you!

  45. Well hell. You’re in my neck of the woods and i can’t get there. Damn it.
    Hope it’s a rowdy success. You know, you could stay in Jersey. We can be friends. It’s not that bad here. I promise.

  46. I’m told that I swallowed a nickel when I was an infant and I almost died. The story always gets a good laugh. Nothing better than an infant turning blue story. Except maybe cancer.

  51. I’m throwing in with the other Southerners here. Please visit the South? Tennessee? Kentucky? North Carolina? Georgia? Any/all of the above? I live a mere 45 minutes from Mr. William Shatner (not that I know the man personally or even impersonally, nor have I ever seen him in town; I’m just sayin’)…

    Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese?

  52. Love starting my day with some Jenny Lawson humor.

    See ya in Brookline on Friday. I’ll be with the Boston Parent Bloggers contingent. Can’t wait!

  53. Welcome to NJ! We made sure the weather would be perfect (or close to it) for you today. If the planets are aligned correctly, I hope to be at your book signing tonight.

  54. dang, i wish I had time to get down there today! And yes, quotes over clip art counts as a comic strip 😉 Enjoy the Garden State, I live about 8 miles north of the NJ border in NY, and was just “over the border” this morning to get gas. Gas in Jersey is cheap. And it’s only full service. Heavenly 😉

  56. Enjoy being out of Texas because it’s HOT here. And has been since March, ugh, I’m ready for winter.

  57. Can’t wait till Bean Town! Still not 100% sure why they call it Bean town…. Maybe they drink alot of coffee?? Or pass alot of gas?? TO THE WIKIPEDIA-MOBILE!

    … Researching … Researching …

    Wikipedia has failed me….. TO THE GOOGLE-MOBILE!

    … Researching … Researching …

    Huh… found it on Yahoo: The site explains that in Colonial days, Boston was part of the triangular trade, in which “slaves in the Caribbean grew sugar cane to be shipped to Boston to be made into rum to be sent to West Africa to buy more slaves to send to the West Indies.” Confusing, isn’t it? Because of this trade, the area was chock-full of molasses, and beans baked in the gooey syrup became very popular in Boston, thereby earning the city the nickname “Beantown.”

    And now you know! BA BA BA BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

    -The enD

  58. This was *snort* worthy. And my mom died of cancer! A sense of humor is a wonderful thing…you have yourself a great time in New Jersey. Loved your book!

  59. Wow…the tour goes on, huh? I hope you get some time to relax while you ride the whirlwind!

    …and it serves me right for moving away from your new leg of the tour.

  61. In mostly unrelated news, please tell me you’ve seen this:

    Three words: Taxidermied. Cat. Helicopter.

    That is all.

  64. I’ve been reading your blog forever and have never posted here, but I am too excited about meeting you tonight to keep up the lurking trend. SEE YOU SOON! 🙂

  65. I remember that! Also, I am TOTALLY counting down til Friday. I get to see YOU, and may also convince the friend I’m staying with to take me back to that sex shop we went to that one time. I have a shopping list.

    Anyway…yay for Friday!!!

  69. Where is everyone? Stephen Colbert, last night, reported on the Zombie Apocalypse!!!! I swear, he did. He even had Fox News clips and a statement from the CDC, both on the Zombie Apocalypse!

    I really don’t think I’m hallucinating and I’m pretty sure I’m awake and that’s what I saw. I have some good drugs in the house (Ativan — panic attacks) but I haven’t used any tonight. Really. I’m not in a panic about the Zombie Apocalypse, oddly.

    I’m just excited for the Bloggess and everyone who loves her, because I know this will excite you all.

  70. You had me at “he choked on a dime.” The extra little punchline was COMPLETELY innapropriate, and therefore hilarious. You need to do more of these. 🙂

  71. IT TOTALLY counts. Also after seeing this and the Hitler cartoon from the book, I am devastated that we don’t get comics more often on the blog. DO IT, JENNY! <3

  73. Just an FYI New Jersey is passing a new Law that all pets of any kind MUST now be seat belted while traveling in vehicles. Pets are no longer allowed to travel in the bed of a pick up and in no way possible are you to allow your pet to hang its head out the window. Fines are pretty steep. More so than if you are caught now wearing your seat belt! True story I saw on Fox News last night.

  75. I laughed. And then I wondered, is it appropriate to laugh? But I couldn’t stop. And that is why you are awesome!

  76. My favorite thing about it being Wednesday? It’s almost Sunday. So you’re almost in Chicago.

    Also… I’m working the event AS a volunteer, BECAUSE i want to meet you. For you, I give up tonight for volunteer training and also Sunday to spend all day hanging out at Chicago’s best Nerd Fest… because I just think you’re awesome.

    So… so there’s that. Certainly.

  78. i AM COMING TO SEE YOU! yAY! And its my hometown, and I’m a Jersey Girl and Go! New Jersey!……I think I’m a wee bit too excited….

  79. Tee hee hee!

    I wish I was in NJ! Or I wish I woulda found you when you toured CA! I think that must have been the first leg of your tour.. le sigh.
    Enjoy the east side!

  80. So excited to meet you tonight! Though I’m going to have to figure out something for you to sign, because I already have a signed book plate in my copy of the book. Hmm… maybe a cat? But I’m open to suggestions.

  81. Totally counts. Funny comic. But, the question is, is it fair to call something a comic if it’s not funny? That’s what my wife asks about the comics on my blog.

  85. Did the second comic strip feature anime ferrets and a giant chicken?

    That would be awesome.

    When you are through with you dalliance with writing, you might have a real career in cartooning.

    Your local paper might pay you even $5 a piece.

    Steady income… Think how proud your parents would be.

    And Victor as a comic strip character? Too funny.

  86. I’m pretty sure that’s how the real comics do it, anyway. And if not, who cares? Start your own thing! Could be a big deal. Just saying.

  87. Welcome to our humble and sometimes wacky state! If you see a woman with a face like a handbag, please decline her invitation to accompany her to the local tanning salon. Also, if you see a bunch of crazy housewives and one of them is named Theresa – don’t sit at a table wid huh. She will most likely dump the whole thing over and leave you wearing your dinner. Also…if you happen to come across a man in a suit landing a helicopter next to the local hot dog stand, pay him no mind. That’s just our governor. Other than that – enjoy your stay! I wish I could be there, I’m so bummed, but I raise a chicken in your honor, Oh Bloggess!

  93. I was very sad to learn that your signing tonight costs $25 and that I will not, therefore, be meeting you. I still think you’re great though and just hope that someday you have a free signing in the NJ area!

  94. Unfortunately, I honestly got obsessed with this blog and read literally ALL of it. Because I have no life. Or friends. I even read ALL of the stuff from five years ago, even though, if we’re being honest, some of it was not… the best. But I still read it all. Because I love you.

  95. you could even just update the word balloons, leaving the girls right there, and post it as a NEW comic over and over and over.

    See: Dinosaur Comics

  96. I just snorted a little bit of coffee out of my nose…I can only imagine you are delirious from being on the road for so long. I know I would be. Have fun in NJ 🙂

  98. Sorry to miss your nj signing…I live about a half mile from watching booksellers but I’m home with stomach bug–I’m sure it’s a great night!
    Enjoy the rest of your book tour!

  99. Ah, New Jersey, my homeland. Enjoy the smog at Exit 11 of the NJ Turnpike..it is most refreshing.

  101. My husband has the unmitigated gall to pass away three years ago today …of a very fast moving cancer. 9 weeks from diagnosis to demise. And he would’ve loved that cartoon. That just made me smile on an other wise horseshit day.

    Thanks, Bloggess; I owe you one.

  103. Totally counts!! Hilarious in a twisted sort of way, but if it wasn’t it wouldn’t be you. Have I mentioned lately how awesome you are? Well, you are completely awesome, Jenny!! 😀

  104. So I completely misread this and thought you said you wrote this comic when you were five years old. And I was somewhere between “wow” and “whoa” about that.

  107. Just kidding. It was cancer. 2 sentences I never expected to see together, especially since it kinda gives you the feeling that the cancer was a better choice, and everyone should have a sigh of relief. LOL It’s perfection.

  108. I came to see you tonight!! I never post but since I was so stupidly tongue tied when you signed my book I just wanted to tell you that I think you’re awesome and I’m forever grateful to my friend Dana (also there tonight) for posting your blog about Beyonce on fb and getting me totally hooked on anything your write. My husband just started stalking you on twitter and now thinks you’re even cooler bc “she’s into Neil Gaiman, and not many girls are”. Your blog has made me cry with laughter on days that I could barely muster a smile!! I love that I can come to this blog on a down day and reread some of my faves to make myself forget whatever bullshit was going on 🙂
    –the tall redhead of the twine and spatula trio in Montclair

  109. Just kidding. It was diarrhea….and AIDS….and the dreaded (and rare) Pepto-Bismol Black Tongue Disease 😉

    So glad I got a chance to see/meet you tonight! Loved the reading & thanks so much for stopping by the “Garden” State!

  110. It counts. I want whatever drink the girl on the right has. I like her sass. Maybe she gets her sass from the drink. How does one consume a sass-drink from clip art?

  113. Jenny, it was wonderful to hear you read and meet you last evening. You are so gracious and sweet – and to think you came in with Rosie O!!! We were happy fangirls/guys last night!

  114. @WalrusTopHat: Never fear. I have no life and few (carbon-based) friends. And I’ve plowed my way through a lot of this blog (and others when I ran out of archives to read here) to occupy my time; it was time well spent. Jenny’s real strength lies in dialogue, and I can never get enough of her conversations with her husband. Sometimes, to amuse myself, I like to picture Bill Nighy’s character Victor from the “Underworld” series conversing with our Bloggess about taxidermied weasels and mice. I never claimed to be normal.

    P.S. We can be friends…? 🙂

  116. HI-larious comic!! Yes, it counts as writing a comic strip, so long as the words are yours–which we can all tell they *are*.

    And when the heck’s your tour coming to Tucson? It would rock my socks right on off if I had your Herbie Hancock in my copy of “Let’s Pretend…”

    ^.^

  117. You so need to come to Ann Arbor, MI. I promise free room & board if you do!

  118. of course it counts! dinosaur comics rings a bell? also, your comic would totally fit with the guys of cyanide and happiness.

  119. Initially I misread this as the first comic you wrote when you were 5 years old. I’m kind of relieved that I was wrong.

  120. Certainly! I hope your reading and signing in New Jersey go wonderfully. And yes, creating captions for free clip art can definitely be considered a form of writing a comic strip. It’s a creative way to express ideas and humor

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