A small thanks

in Let's Pretend This Never Happened

A week from now I’ll be flying to Toronto to begin the last leg of my book tour.  (Click here for dates.)  Somehow it’s still on the bestseller list and I owe that completely to you.  And that’s why I’m doing a giveaway today.  Leave a comment and I’ll choose a few of you to win either an autographed copy of the American version, the British Version, or the audio CD (whichever you choose.)

Also, if you really want a signed and personalized copy of the book for you (or for a gift) but you can’t make it to any of the tour stops you can contact Changing Hands (480.730.0205) to buy a book and I’ll sign one for you when I’m in Arizona.  They ship all over the world.

Thanks again for all your amazing support.  I literally couldn’t have done it without you.

Thank you.

1,936 thoughts on “A small thanks”

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  5. Your book is easily the funniest think I have ever listened to (we have the audio book). I love it and my wife and I look forward to meeting you in Denver!

  6. Glad the book is still doing great. I read most of it outloud to my husband.

  9. Oooooh, I have the American version on my Kindle, but I’d love a British version so I could giggle about the “colours” etc. 🙂 Unicorn Success Club!

  12. And when prey tell are you coming to the UK I know a little taxidermy shop you and Victor could visit (only kidding Victor calm down) LoL

    Have a great time in Canada

  13. Please send me one. I’m a southern gal who recently moved to Canada, and would love a bit of “home” to giggle about.

  14. I check your blog everyday when I need a little life. You never fail to make me laugh and feel less alone in the world. Keep it kooky!
    ~Erin

  16. I borrowed your book from a friend and read it in one sitting – you are amazing, both as a person and an author.

  18. Winning something from you would make any of the stupid things I have on my bucket list seem boring and trivial in comparison

  20. I look forward to your posts every day. I can’t wait to get my hands on your book! I swear I share your blog with at least one person everyday! Thanks for keeping it real 🙂

  21. I loved your book and loaned it to a friend!
    She read it in one night and was laughing so hard
    She was crying!!!

  23. You’re wonderful.

    I would have missed this if I wasn’t on vacation watching the Olympics and playing on the twitter. It’s fate, I assume.

  25. I love your blog. Your blog is the only one I have ever followed and it never fails to make me laugh out loud. Really enjoy your sense of humor and your candor!

  27. It’s still on the NY Times list because it’s so damn awesome. I’m in the UK and would absolutely love an audio book.

  29. Funniest book I’ve read all summer! Congratulations. Enjoy all of your success!

  31. I would very much love a hard copy with a signature, as I won’t be able to make it to Toronto after all (I really should have moved closer to Toronto for all the cool stuff it gets. sigh.)

  32. Wish I could see you in Toronto, loved the book, love your blog! Enjoy TO. Would love the cd lol!

  33. I would love an audio CD, because when I try to read out loud from my hardcover, I’m laughing too hard for my husband to understand me.

  35. A friend of mine, non-blog reader, told me she picked it up and, “didn’t get it.” I told her it is imperative that she go to the blog archives, read them all and then try again. I expect that she will want a signed book in a few days (or weeks, depending on how much else she has going on).

  36. You’re welcome! I hope you’ve had half as much fun as we have. Thank you for all your amazing sharing.

  37. Good luck, and have fun and maybe you will find some good toys while in your travels.

  38. Oh man, I’d LOVE to get a signed copy for my best friend’s birthday. I’ll have to call 🙂

  39. What a glorious thing it would be, since I missed you when you came to Austin 😀

  40. My first experience with your blog was when a friend read it at work and was laughing so hard she couldn’t speak. It was the day beyonce came to visit Victor. Been hooked ever since! The book was awesome!! Keep it up!

  43. I wish I could go, but have fun! I’ve turned 3 people last week into bloggess fans. I’m off to convert some more!

  44. Would love to come and stalk you in Canada but I don’t think they could handle the both of us in the Country at the same time. Are you going to pick up a Canadian accent while you’re there, eh?

    As I already have hardcover and audiobook, I’d love the UK version – I’m jealous of their font… 🙂

  45. Seriously, I am going to come see you in Toronto. well, maybe, if I can get the courage to take public transit down town and brave the mass of people that are going to be there. Maybe I will bring my cat.

  46. You’re awesome. Thanks for helping me out with the book club questions. it was a hit!

  47. THANK YOU for writing a hilarious book that I tell everyone I know that they should read!
    I would love the audio CD.

  49. Wish I could make it to Toronto that day for the tour!!! You are hilarious, and I would love a copy of the book!!

  52. you seriously need to do a book tour in Australia.

    we’re so hill-billy=fucked up we need some enlightenment (myself excluded of course)

    we can find allllll sorts of stuff here to keep you worried 😛

    nikki

  53. My daughter made a sand drawing in honor of you on our recent trip to the beach. It said “STABBY FEELING” and had a big giant knife. I will post the photo on the Facebook page. She is 8, but sneaked the book into the bathroom and read the Post-It Note Chapter. I thought her drawing was both creative and deeply disturbing.

  54. You beat me on the Pony Advertising front – but you can make it up to me with a signed book 🙂 Yours in guerilla (or equine) marketing…Emily

  55. i live in israel, already have the audio, know it by heart. would love to have the written version for the pictures 🙂 have a great book tour.

  58. I just have to say that you are awesome. I dont know how but you always seem to know when I am having a rough day and you post something that makes me laugh and pulls me out of my funk. Thank you for all of the laughter you have brought into my life since I found your blog last year.

  60. You are awesome. I only read four blogs ( I work three jobs and have no time for frivolity), and the #1 choice I make if I have an extra busy day is YOUR blog. Thank you for sharing your life with all of us, it means a lot to me for sure.

    Alicia

  62. My lovely partner got your book for my birthday, but I think hearing you read it would be even more special. Hoping to see you in Seattle!

  63. I missed your Los Angeles stop because it was right before our wedding and I’d love an autographed copy of the American version!

  65. Your book is made of awesome with sprinkles of awesomeness on top. And whipped cream. And cherry.
    If I get one signed, I’ll donate mine slightly (ok, not so slightly, but clean) used copy to local library for others to enjoy.

  66. I think you should come to England for a signing. We welcome eccentricity (I think you guys call it “craziness”) in all its forms! 🙂

  67. You are the reason that British guy (I think it was Sir Mix-a-Lot) invented the internet. It’s a fact.

  69. So wish I had been able to make it to one of your signings! Maybe next book you’ll come closer to where I live!! Would love an autographed copy of it!

  70. Good luck in Canada! And too bad you can’t make it a little further east to Montreal. 🙁

  71. I LOVE your blog and even make my husband read it from time to time…especially concerning taxidermy and Nater Tater. He laughs on the inside, which manifests as shaking his head on the outside, while I am laughing so hard, I’m rolling on the floor crying. Big difference between me and him, I guess. Anyway, the book would be great because I have a feeling that he would end up reading it if I wasn’t there to show him…

  72. I am so looking forward to experiencing your awesomeness all in one package. Although, I may not be able to handle it!

  75. If I don’t win I’ll still buy a copy, but I figured this was worth a try, since winning a free book will free up the money I need to buy the bacon-flavored lip balm I have my eye on.
    – Gina from the other end of Canada than the one you’re going to

  76. When I read your blog, I am not allowed to drink any liquids, and to pee before, because I will either end up spitting all over my computer, or peeing my pants from laughter.
    So thank you for that, you’re fantastic… and I have gotten all of my blogger friends addicted to your site!

  77. awwww, bless!

    safe travels and have a great last leg (i’ll take “Last words spoken to Henry VIII for $600 please, Alec…”

  78. Honestly, thank you for writing it. It seriously has gotten me through the last few months. Every time I’m starting to feel sad, I just pick it up and re-read a little bit.
    You’re an amazing person, and we love you for absolutely everything you’ve done for us 🙂
    Hope you get to come to Pittsburgh one day so some fellow Lawsbians and I can meet you!! <3

  80. I am loving that this has been so successful for you! And that I have contributed to your bottom line myself! 😉 Since really at the end of the day it is all about me and my way of helping! 😉
    Enjoy Canada ‘eh!

  81. I live in Idaho and your tour won’t stop here–which is a shame because we have the world’s biggest potato chip. I have te kindle version of the book, but would love a hrad copy.

  82. I read your entire book in a day, and got strange looks when I laughed out loud at my kindle when I was walking the dog. I told the people giving me the looks that the dog is funnier than you’d think. Any way, you’re book is awesome. I thought you should know that.

  83. I already have the Kindle version and plan on buying a hard copy when you come to Minnesota- Squeeeeeeee! So excited to say thank you to you in person! Thanks for the laughs and the tears and for teaching me to be furiously happy!

  84. Love your blog, and would love an autographed copy of your book! I don’t even mind what version!

  85. Wish you were coming to Richmond, Va! Love your writing – I’ve shared Beyonce the Chicken’s adventures with everyone I know…

  86. I would love a hard copy of your book. Thanks for all you do to bring a smile to my face each day.

  87. My sister stole my copy with one of the book plates you signed. She’s not giving it back and I’m afraid that if I set her on fire it might also harm the book. It’s a quandary!

  90. I will you were signing somewhere near the Midwest! I would certainly be there! We are kindred spirits in that I am constantly asking my husband for animals that he refuses to buy me : )

  92. I think it might be time to send a copy to Belgium and bring me civlization 😉

  93. Oh and if you should happen to choose me i would love a good old fashioned book. As great as a Kindle is nothing beats a book.

  94. I would love a copy of your book. I’ve measured up a space on my bookcase for it. And I already have room in my purse for it.

  95. I have the kindle version of your book & I read it outloud to my husband & both of us were laughing till we cried. We both think you are fantastically hilarious! Wish I could make it to a book signing! Although…signing my Kindle could be a little awkward…

  96. Congrats on all the success! I have read the book, though if I won one I would share with friends!

  97. Thanking us for our support is a little bit like thanking us for having superior taste: the response to both should be, “DUH.”

  98. I just want to say that I find you hilarious. After talking on Facebook about some ridiculous things I have done to my husband a friend showed me Beyonce. I have been a loyal fan ever since. To be fair, my husband hates me now because I read most of your book to him, and victor would probably hate me if he heard my imitation of him, but I think it is all worth it. And after learning about some anxiety issues I had last year, I’m also glad I’m not the only one with weird justifications for the things I do. So to sum it up, you’re awesome.

  99. I would love a copy of the book! I bought the audiobook and my husband and I loved it!

  100. I absolutely love your book! It made me laugh out loud. I am so glad that your book is still on the bestseller list and I’m making everyone I know read it. Thanks for writing it and I’m looking forward to anything else you publish!

  101. I was so glad to see Denver made the last leg of the tour! I can’t wait to see you. You’ve helped me through the tedium and ennui of my bureaucratic job!

  102. I would love a copy! Since December I relocated from California to northern Alabama to Baton Rouge, LA, just missing you on several occasions.

  105. Soooo wanted to go to your signing when you were here in Boston. Sadly, those little humans who live in my house had events. 🙂

    I like the idea of the woman above – I’d donate mine after enjoying as well. 🙂 As long as there are no wine slushee stains on it. Which I absolutely can not promise. 🙂

  106. Since I am in the UK *and* have a kindle edition of your book this might be my only chance to lay my hands on a signed paper copy! Love the book, read it in a single snotty with tears of laughter sitting. AND I just realised that it’s down to you that I never gave Castle a chance *shakesfist at Filion and his twine allergy*

  107. Really enjoy your writing. It’s fresh, funny, and I tell others about it. Hope you have a great day!

  109. I borrowed your book from the library and already have it back on my list of requests because I want to read it again. As a fellow social phobia-depression person, I love that you are so open about your challenges so that my challenges don’t seem quite so terrible. Thank you, thank you, thank you!! (and I would LOVE a copy of your book)

  110. Congrats on your success! My wife and I love your blog. Glad you made it to Canada! Come for the people, stay for the health care. I hear you get a free chunk of tar sand if you get to Alberta. In Cape Breton they just give you a closed-down coal mine or something.

  111. You deserve to be a bestseller. You have touched so many lives and have brought so many people together. Sharing your life has helped so many people. Congrats on still being there!!

  112. I couldn’t make it to the SF signing – so I would LOVE a signed book! I have loved every second of reading this book. Your time on the list is well deserved 🙂

  113. I love your book. I have told my friends about how awesomely hilarious and real you are!

  114. so stoked for your success! even more impressed that you’ve actually made it to all of your book tour engagements and haven’t found yourself stuck in a bathroom! (except of course thru that poster) You’re an awesome leader of a huge band of misfits 😀

  116. Just finished your book last night. Husband is glad I’m done, kept annoying him with my laughing while he was trying to sleep. Really funny and super entertaining book. Thanks!

  117. WOOHOO! Another chance to win the book that I really want but haven’t been able to get ahold of yet! American version if I win please 🙂

  118. Wanted so badly to see you in Annapolis. Hope you ran into some of those Seals, tho.
    Congratulations! And thank you, for so very much.

    @kneatfreak

  119. Unfortunately, none of your tour stops have come close enough for me to make it, but I’d love a signed book! Then I could send my unsigned copy that I bought when it came out to my best friend. I mean, I guess I could send *her* the signed copy, since we’re best friends and all, but…no, FTS, there’s a limit. The signed one is mine!

  120. I wish I could make it to the Toronto one, but sadly I can’t. I’d love to win a copy.

  121. Oh, a hardcopy I could send to a friend would be lovely! I’m so happy you are coming to Seattle!!!

  122. I’d love to win a hard copy, too. I’ve been dying to read it, and with my student loans I might be able to afford a copy in about 2047.

  124. My wife and I would love a copy of your book! Since I’ve been out of work, we’ve had to cut back on some stuff we want for stuff we need, but we love the site and have shared it with everyone we know.

    Thanks for helping me keep my sense of humor and my head up!

  126. I tried to make it to the San Francisco signing, but it was just too far away. I read bits of the book aloud to my boyfriend when it first came out and he still brings up his favorite parts. He had not seen me so captivated by a book in a while. You are hilarious and inspiring and wonderful. Have fun on the last leg of the tour!

  127. YAY! You deserve to have your book still at the top! It’s a fabulous book, and all the girls that I went on vacation with in May (while I was re-reading the book), went out and bought it as soon as they got back from Mexico, so they could figure out what the heck kept me roaring with laughter. Thank YOU for sharing your life with us and making this crazy anxiety-ridden, depression-prone world a little less scary. 🙂

  128. bummed i missed you in NY. would love to hear the audio version 🙂
    i hope you’ve been out of the ladies room enough to enjoy this ride!
    you deserve it

    <3

  129. I loved the book, so glad it’s still on the best seller list and I can’t wait for your next one (no pressure). I’d loooove a copy of the audio book. I’m not above bribing you with knitted wares or baked goods.

  130. Jenny your book is awesome and deserves it’s place on the bestseller list! I laughed, I cried and just generally enjoyed it as much as anything I have read in a long, long time. Your emotional honesty is truly bravery to be admired and emulated. You rock, lady!!

  131. I just finished listening to the audio version of the book and am waiting on the return of the hardback I own from a colleague who is reading it for our university book club. I’d love an additional copy to send to friends whom I keep RAVING to about how fantastic your blog/book/you-in-general are.

    You’ll do fantastic in Canada (eh). 🙂

  133. I’d love the British version, the cover is so full of whimsy! Woo! Congrats on your success, and getting to go to Canada!

  134. What’s green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.
    (The American version, please. I’m getting threatening notices from the library to return your book that they obtained from another library, just for me. Now I’m curious, does the British version use different swear words? I dislike when I read or hear arse…especially “your fat…” directed at mine, except from Brits. We’re in America people, we have awesome cuss-words.)
    Seriously, your book was a great read. Thank you.
    ~Holly

  136. I can’t make it to any of your book signings. I has a sad.

    I would love a copy of your book. I’ve been hinting at my boyfriend to get me a copy, but he just isn’t getting it.

  137. Holy shitsnacks! I’d totally accept an autographed American version! I have the kindle version and that’s admittedly pretty hard to autograph. Though I wouldn’t put it past you to try. You are nothing if not tenacious!

  138. I loved your book so much, I put a review on iTunes for the first time! 5 stars of course. Because they didn’t have unicorns.

  140. I let my mother read my copy of your book. She texted me when she was done to say she was sad that she finished it. We both loved it so much!

  143. I would love either the American or British version. I have yet to read your book, but I’ve heard so much about it and can’t wait! Thank you for being so awesome Jenny!
    P.S. Having your autograph on my bookshelf would make me the envy of my nerd friends!!! I think I might actually sleep with it under my pillow…

  145. That would be amazing to have a signed book by you! I read my husband your blog especially the ones with Victor and you and he really likes Victor lol. He doesn’t get your since of humor or understand why I find you so hilarious! Thanks for being so awesome Jenny!

  146. You’re book was amazing. I read the entire thing in 2 days. Couldn’t put it down.

  147. You are so WELCOME for the support, because you are amazing and have created in me a love for metal chickens and obscure/outlandish taxidermy that I never knew was possible. Xoxo.

  148. I loved the audiobook so so much. I am a home visitor, and so many times I caught my clients staring at me with concerned expressions from their windows as I sat in my car staring straight ahead and laughing uncontrollably as I listened to your tales! I would love a hard copy to share with these clients 🙂

  149. I tried so hard to stage an impromptu road trip to see you read in Chicago but it fell through at the last minute. If you, I’m very jealous of the folks on the last leg. Congrats on the best seller list, you definitely deserve it!

  150. I would love to win a signed copy of your book, the UK version preferably.

    I’m building a time machine to warn Juanita of her impending noteriety and the thickness of the book is just what I need to raise the seat high enough for her to come back to the future and thank you.

    jr

  151. I wish you were coming to the otherside of Canada (British Columbia) I would so love the opportunity to meet you in person. I love you book and think you need to consider a sequel 🙂

  153. So so happy for your success! Love the book and my only complaint is it was so awesome I read it in one sitting, and I was left wanting more! 🙂

  154. Thanks to you many everyday used items (twine…kitchen utensils….) make me laugh as I go about my day! This makes you the AWESOMEST in my book!!!

  155. I gave my Mom her signed copy of your book for Mother’s Day. She did nothing but laugh til she cried the entire time and my Dad thought she had lost it. Mission: Accomplished.

  156. Just wanted to say thank you for doing what you do! I loved the book – laughed so hard coffee flew out of my nose and my husband was seriously concerned. My assistant, who shares my sense of humor, gave me a Juanita birthday card. Keep up the good work!

  158. I already own your book but live to far away from any of those places to go get it signed 🙁 Do you still have a place where we can send off for bookplates by chance?

  160. Your book was so funny I had a woman next to me on a plane ask me if I was ok, I was crying laughing and I think she thought I was in pain…thank you for some hysterical storytelling!

  161. I would love a signed copy! I have the kindle version (which I loved to carry around with me and read in public so I could laugh maniacally and creep out strangers) and I’ve gotten all of my officemates addicted to your blog and your book. We’ve all started following you on Facebook and everytime you post something there are shouts around to office to let everyone know to read it! Wish your tour was coming somewhere closer to me (the middle of Central PA where nothing exists except Penn State where I work) so I could see you!

  163. May your book continue to be better than the bible! I’d love the audio book so that I could read it while I walk, and it would cause people to stop and ask if I’m having a seizure from the laughing 🙂

  164. I’ve told everyone I can about your book b/c I love it that much. Unfortunately you didn’t make it to my part of the US on tour but that’s okay! If I don’t win the copy, I might try to purchase one!

  165. I’d love to get the audio nce I’m not allowed to read my British edition while driving…

  167. I’m pleased to report I already have a copy of your book, albeit, not a signed one. I am going to try and wrangle something so I can come see you in Toronto though and maybe you can sign that copy. That being said, I don’t want to take away the opportunity from anyone else to win the book so if you pick me just pass it along to the next person in line.

  168. i’d love a hardcopy of your book. my BiFF would be so motherfucking jealous. we’re the only ones in the Yukon who quote you.

  169. I would like to update my bathroom, but I can’t find a rust-proof metal chicken and a matching shower curtain anywhere….

  170. I posted a clever little comment and it disappeared. This was obviously deliberate and now? I feel judged. By the internet. The entire internet.

    Okay. The comment wasn’t THAT clever. But it was better than this one. (If that one reappears, this comment to be rendered void and with no cash value.)

  171. Congrats on your success! Love your blog and I can’t wait to get your book!

  172. I’m so excited to see you in San Diego in a couple of weeks! I have the kindle version, but am totally going to buy a hard copy to ensure that this book is around a thousand years from now after the robots have taken over.

  173. I’m totally going to need a new copy once my friends (who I read parts to and totally acted them out) finish reading my copy. They are all getting your Fridge magnet for x-mas! And my co-workers and I are planning a security test complete with “Notes” of our condition once the 15 minutes has past. You rock so much.

  174. I would LOVE a copy of your book!!!! I missed you when you were in Dallas- stupid work made me stay late 🙁

  177. Comment comment comment free stuff yippee. I wanted to go to your book tour but you were i nSan Diego ,the closest you have come to my house butvthree hours away and I was having qdrenal insufficiency fueled depression so…I stayed at home. But if I get a giveaway from you I would find some creative way to display it…I have yet to figure out my creative ways but with hippy road kill collecting parents, me thinks my genetic predisposition to weird things are to my advantage.

  178. I saw your book in my favorite little bookstore yesterday… I took a pic of it and text Mr. Amazing and told him it was a sign that you would come here eventually… he might think im crazy

  180. I’m sadly going to miss your reading/signing in Portland since Jack White announced his tour dates first! So me and the rest of the fantastical fan girls that I was wrangling will hike up our red dresses and try and scoot on up to Seattle. Until then, and if you have free time in P-town check this place out, I think you’ll like it, like just a little bit. http://www.paxtongate.com/about.aspx. Oh, and a signed book would be pretty kick ass!

  181. I’ve been patiently waiting for my public library to get an e-book version of your tome, so I haven’t had a chance to read it yet… but I’ve heard nothing but awesomely ridiculous things about it and can’t wait to get my grubby little paws on it!

  183. Yay! The chance to win your book directly from you! How very wonderful. I wish I could get the 4 hours to Toronto to see you!!

  184. We can’t wait to see you in P-Town in August. Congratulations on visiting our fair city during the three weeks of the year when it DOESN’T rain. Huzzah!

  185. Wasn’t able to travel the day you were in Florida for a signing, so I’m happy to enter into the drawing. Loved the book and have done my level best to spread the love. 🙂

  186. Oooooooooooooooohhhh!!! I would so love a signed copy of your book!

  188. Oooh, I’d love an American version! I’m trying to be good and wait til I can buy the real book rather than the ebooks I’ve taken to lately… I want this one displayed on my bookshelf!!

    You crack me up and I get so much joy out of following you, Wil Wheaton, and Paul and Storm on twitter. The combination is a constant source of hilarity that I don’t know how I ever lived without.

  189. You and Wil Wheaton are among the only 5 celebrities left I respect. Thank you for being crazy, awesome yet true to yourself. ;D

  190. I really wished you were coming to Philadelphia! Loved the article about you in the Inquirer. Best of luck on your tour!

  192. Thank you for helping me find a role model with an anxiety disorder like me! You are such an inspiration–thank you for sharing your shenanigans.

  194. It’s such a best seller because if the author….and your sense if humor!!

  195. I’ve not read your book yet. I’d like to though. I’d like to read a free, signed copy of the UK version of your book even more.

    I solemnly swear that I will only lick it a little bit.

  196. I downloaded your book on to my Kindle but would love a real copy of the British Version! Then as I am reading people will understand why I am laughing out loud.

  198. Not coming through Oklahoma then? Bummer! I’d LOVE a signed copy of the book.

  199. best book I read all year! would love to have an autographed copy to have for my very very own…
    alas, cannot come to your book signings (well, better said, dammit! I can’t go to your book signings … got conflicts, you know…)…smile, cheers! gwen L

  201. I LOVED your book and I’m asking all of my friends to check it out and your blog, as a personal favor to me. You are so wonderfully quirky – everything you do makes me laugh.

  202. I wish I could get to Toronto to see you, but since I can’t I’ll just have to keep pushing your book at the bookstore I work at. I hope you enjoy Canada!

  203. At 42 years old, its been a really long time since I almost peed myself in bed – then I read your book last week. I was laughing SO hard, but managed to get where i needed fast enough. Good thing too – My husband was only mildly annoyed to be woken from a dead/sound sleep by my laughter. I can only imagine if he woke up b/c of damp sheets (then again, I guess I could have always blamed the dog).

  204. I had to quit reading your book at night because I was laughing so hard I was keeping everyone else up (including the dogs). And I was also poking my husband with the book, asking “are you asleep??!” so I could read parts to him. He was amused by you, not so much by me.

  205. Your book was absolutely awesome (I snorted lots and read many pages of it out loud to my husband…I read almost all of your blog to him as well)! I don’t live anywhere near any of the book tour sites, but my sister lives in Denver. So I sent her all the info for that one and told her to bring her Xanax bottle as it MUST get signed! 😉

  206. That is so awesome! I would love a copy since I haven’t picked one up yet! Hubby has a stupid rule that I have to read at least half the books in my to-read like before I go and fiendishly buy more. I usually argue that he just doesn’t understand my process.

  207. Your book is one of the few my husband has actually read. He told me he wanted to read it because I laughed so much and he wante to be in on the joke. He was not disappointed. You’re amazing, Jenny. I’m glad I stumbled upon your blog last year.

  208. I would LOVE to win the audio book version. I can’t think of anything better than listening to your words! Saw you when you came to Austin … thanks for ruining my mascara!

  209. “WE NEED MORE BOOKS LIKE THIS ONE!” (words over a pic of Juanita the Weasel) or this “THE BOOK MADE ME SCREAM WITH LAUGHTER” I want an American version of the book unless you have in the British version tire spelled like tyre because that is cool how they misspell things in the UK. Forget it, do you have a Texas version and it is filled with fixin toos and y’alls because that is the version I would like to have.

  211. You’re not touring anywhere near where I live; I’d love to win a copy, thanks!

  212. Would LOVE a copy of your book! Your blog makes me laugh and helps me get through the day!

  214. I would love an audio copy 🙂 I will be buying the kindle version soon to read too, but I love listening to audiobooks at work!

  215. You’re an inspiration. I live in the middle-of-nowhere, so I won’t make it to your signings, but good luck!

  216. My girls and I would love to have your book. Now. You should definitely go on vacation and relax a little. You deserve it!

  217. I’m so upset that I am unable to go to Toronto to see you 🙁 My car is kaput and I live in the country. My friend and I loved your book and are avid readers of your blog. Enjoy your time in Canada eh?!

  218. I would love to have a copy of your book. It’s been on my Amazon wishlist since April, but my lame friends & family have yet to purchase it for me!

  219. Another wish from St. Louis. I was really sad to see we didn’t make the cut. Shoot, it’s been hotter here than in Texas many days this summer. You would have felt like you were at home.

    That said, your book was the funniest I’ve read.

  220. Let’s pretend I didn’t finish the book – so I don’t look so crazy reading parts over and over

  221. I’m glad that your book is still on the best seller list! You are funny and smart and your writing makes people feel euphoria (probably from an excess of giggles).

  222. I was so bummed when I couldn’t make it to your Boston signing, but I would even (almost) fatally hug Copernicus for a signed American copy.

    PS I forced my bookclub to read your book for next month. I’ve heard that most of them have irreparably stained their books by laughing whilst drinking beverages.

  223. Thanks for continually opening up your life and all it’s wackiness to us- your crazed followers. Keep doing what you’re doing!! We’ll keep living vicariously!!

  224. Oh snap! I’m looking forward to catching your reading in the Portland-Metro area. Good times will be had by most, if not all.

  226. I would love to have the audio book so I can laugh at inappropriate things in the school drop off line!

  227. I was out of town when you were in my neck of the woods and I was so sad! LOVE the book, would love an autographed copy!

  228. Thank YOU for all of the laughs! I loved your book!

    Since I have purchased my own copy already, if I won, I would love to place it in an auction that I am holding in September to earn money for my cat. He needs surgery and I’m trying to get some really neat things to auction off. Your book would be an absolutely wonderful addition!

    If you want to see pictures of my little guy, Bumblebee, or read more about the auction, here is a link: https://www.facebook.com/BumblebeeHarlanFundraiser?ref=hl

  229. Ooh! Ooh!! Pick me! Pick me!!! I’m too broke to buy a copy and your writing helps me forget how much I hate my life for little spurts of time.

    P.S. Thank you for providing me a forum to use the word “spurt.”

  230. Man, I am totally planning on being at the Portland signing to get a hard copy. So the British one or Audiobook for me! Maybe I’ll have you sign my nook. =)

  231. Jenny, you lighten life’s travails! I was thrilled to secure a copy of your timely tome from my local library to read, since I continue to be a displaced (unemployed) worker, no longer receiving benefits (yeah, you read that right). An autographed copy to grace my shelves would be over the top! I hope to hear more about the giant rooster’s travels in your sequel. THAT had me snorting non-stop in the middle of the night!

  233. I would absolutely love to win a signed copy of your book “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”. I am homebound, can’t travel to the bookstores. I enjoy reading your column & twitter comments.

  234. I also wish that you could have included St. Louis in your tour. Love your book.

  235. You know what? tell Mary Fairy godmother to take you to Colombia (she knows how to do it, plus she gives you tons of fairy dust yayyy) , honestly you’re amazing and it would be a pleasure to have you here.
    You’re Better than Madonna and cheese and coca cola.

  239. Have never been happier for someone I don’t really know before. Or more proud.
    You deserve all this success and more.

  240. Jenny, you are awesome!! Don’t stop doing what you do. I think the world would be a happier place if more people collected oddly brilliant taxidermied animals. Sadly, I have yet to start my collection. Perhaps I can live vicariously through your book if I win a copy!!

  242. Unfortunately I cannot make the Denver stop, but I’d be thrilled to win a copy of your book! Congrats on all your success 🙂

  243. Pick me, pick me, pick me!!!

    We read your book in our book club and I have been doing PR for your book like a motha.

    <3 your fan

  245. Congratulations! I would love to win an autographed american version of your book! Thanks for the chance to win! I love your blog and especially your conversasions with Victor. I read them to my husband and we both just crack up. I also appreciate your honesty on depression, thank you.

  246. Your book is great! Of course its still a best seller! Wish I could make it to your book signing when its out my way but I have this pesky thing called work getting in my way (*shakes fist at the unfair world*). Your blog has become apart of my morning coffee-procrastinate-starting-work-for-just-a-bit-more routine. Always brightens my day 🙂

  247. Would love to win a signed copy of the British version (such a neat cover)! So happy you are getting the success you’ve earned.

  250. Your blog has made me lurve stuffed dead animals. I now seek them at every yard sale, flea market and bizarre antique market. I’d love your reg’lar ole’ English version of the book!

  252. Tossing my name in because while I really want to pick up a copy of your book, I’ve been looking for steady employment since I finished grad school, and it’s not going to well..
    I’m still going to try to come see you when you come to Toronto, though! Very exciting that you’re coming up here. You’ve been a wonderful inspiration on how to terrorize one’s significant other with overabundant enthusiasm for life.. and dead things, oddly enough.

  253. So happy for you that your book is doing so well! I own a hardcover version of your book, and I was lucky enough to have you sign it for me when you came to MA. (I was the awkward red head who asked if it would be ok if I gave you a hug, and you were awesome and said yes, of course.) I would love to win an audio version of your book!

  254. I loved your book, but I have misplaced my copy. So winning one would allow me to share it with a few people that I know will love it too!

  255. You rock. Laughed (and cried) my way through your book last week. I am not surprised it’s still on the Bestseller List. You are a hoot!

  256. I laughed so hard I cried on the way to Yellowstone earlier this year…then I shared the book with my 16 year old daughter so she could enjoy it just as much on the way home from Yellowstone. It would be great to be a two copy household

  257. I would love to win the British version, I borrowed it from the library but hated to give it back.

  259. So I introduced you to my sister. She also manages life with depression and you’ve been a big help. She bought your book, has attended the readings and everything. She was even so nice that she loaned me (poor college student) your book so I could read it. Which I was doing, and I was half way through when I had to go to school for the day. Well, while I was being an awesome student by attending class, my dogs ate the book. Now, the only other books they ever ate were the Harry Potter books, so I figure it’s a compliment. However, it wasn’t mine – so I’d like to enter the contest so I could return something other than compost to my sister. I’d also like to say that I’m very glad to see you have such success.

  260. I haven’t laughed out loud reading a book like I did when reading yours possibly ever. I have issues with depression and autoimmune conditions also (lupus and RA) and reading your book/blog is the best medicine! I am in LA and wish I could make the trek to San Diego but it’s the week/weekend of my cousin’s wedding. If you sent me a signed copy from Phoenix I might just be an atheist who finally finds Jesus somewhere besides the kitchen!!!

  261. Oooo! PICK ME! PICK ME! Congrats on your well deserved success!! =)

    I am counting down to the San Diego stop on the “FINAL Final leg” of the tour!!! SO EXCITED!!!!!

  264. You inspire me to finish my own book which has sat dormant for almost 2 years now. Would love a HARD copy! Congrats on your well deserved success! (there’s nothing witty here, move along)

  268. Oooh I’m excited you’re still on the bestseller list. I wish I could afford a copy, but we’ve been scrimping for my dental work.

    And when I say dental work I mean DENTAL WORK. I just had all my teeth removed. Well, all but two, those two were already missing. Which sounds pretty extreme, but it was the most reliable way I would get to chew food again. It’s definitely something to celebrate! I think I should get a tattoo to commemorate my liberation from dental pain, but I haven’t decided what the subject should be. Maybe a dead Cavity Creep?

    Anyway, a toast to celebrations of all kinds! (Mine is non-alcoholic, because I’ve been told pain pills and booze don’t mix. I don’t believe it, but I’m a cautious soul.)

  269. Your book is absolutely wonderful! I told my sisters it is a must-read, and I keep reading parts of it to my husband. He is enjoying it too. 🙂

  270. Although I own and have indeed read your book, I think it would be fun to hear it read by you, so count me in for the draw for the audio version! And congratulations on your book – it’s definitely a pant-wetter. Can’t wait to meet you in T.O.!

  271. Thanks to you introducing me to the lifestyle of Beyonces, I now get tagged in any photo of metal chickens my facebook friends can find. I seriously think there are more “photos of me” as metal chickens as there are of actually “me”. Winning!

  272. You really need to stop signing so many books… it is reducing the value of my “Personally signed by the author” book on EBay! Kidding!!! AS IF I WOULD EVER SELL MY PERSONALLY SIGNED BOOK!!!! I treasure it.

  273. Ooo me me me!! Thanks for writing a book that causes folk to blow coffee out their noses!!! You rock!!

  274. I’d love an autographed copy. Then I could gift my current (unsigned) copy to my mom, who I think would *love* your book.

  275. I have been stalking your website, I mean reading your website for years now. You make me laugh and make my day. I have the Kindle version of your book but id look to see the pictures in person. I mean in real copies.

    Keep being the inspiration you are 🙂

  276. Jenny, I have two grown nieces who live three thousand miles from me in the Atlanta, GA, area. I have recently learned, due to my crazed fan-rave about your upcoming tour through Seattle, that they are huge fans of you, your book, and your blog. You, Jenny Lawson, are bringing families together; forging common ground. Whatever. Anyway, I’ll see you at Costco in Shoreline.

  277. Hi Jenny, thanks for all the laughs. I don’t remember how I found your site and your twitter account, but I’m glad I did! I also love to spread the word – your posts make me smile and laugh and I always like to share a good smile and laugh. Makes for a better world, yes? So I guess you’re saving the world – good job! Keep it up! Thanks again.

  279. I loved the book! I have passed it on to my mom, sisters, and best friend. My husband will eventually be reading it as well! I could probably get him to read it faster if I had the audio version 😉 Then when he is done I can listen to it whenever I need a laugh!

  281. I want to be in your drawing. But I’m not very lucky, so I probably won’t get picked. My 7-year-old daughter, on the other hand, is the luckiest kid in the world who is not made out of four-leaf clovers or rabbits’ feet. Ooh. A kid made out of rabbits’ feet sounds scary. If I let her make a comment maybe I’ll win. I mean SHE’ll win. that’s what I meant. Totally.

  282. Meeeee pleeeeeease! I just recommended your book to the Fashion Editor of the Times in London if that gets me any bonus points 🙂

  284. I can’t believe that *you* are thanking *us*, when clearly it should be the other way around! Can’t wait to see you in Seattle! Thank you so much for coming.

  285. I’d be flying out to see you again, but I.ll be busy giving away a kidney…can we work on more convenient scheduling next time?!? 🙂

    shameless plug: recycle yourself…be an organ donor.

    It’s the lawsbian thing to do.

  286. Thanks for reminding me that my current state of low self-confidence is only temporary. You are hilarious, honest, and caring and you know what? So am I. Actually, I’m pretty fucking hilarious.

    Thanks for the inspiration to be my amazing self.

  287. I am reading the book on iPad but would love an audio version, lady you crack me up ….from the hot desert of coachella valley.

  289. I read the Kindle version of “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” and laughed so hard while reading in bed that my husband said it was like sleeping in a seedy motel bed with Magic Fingers. I’d love an autographed copy of the book, if only to better see the photos of creepily adorable long-deceased taxidermified animals.

    Congratulations on your success, Jenny!

  290. Congratulations! I’ve really enjoyed your book – I’ve already read it twice!

  291. I’m pretty poor right now so I’m trying to borrow your book from the library….I’m 42nd in line. Do you know how many weeks it’s gonna take for me to finally get to read it? Like two billion!! If I get chosen I’ll read it then donate it to the library so others can finally enjoy it without living there whole life on the library’s wait list!!

  293. You make me laugh. And that’s one of the most important things a person can do for people in this crazy and cruel world.

  294. “Let’s Pretend” made me laugh until I almost threw up…awesome! Can’t wait to read your next book!

  295. To be honest this seems like one of those wonderful bathroom reads…and I wants…AND my Birthday is on Thursday so pick me pick me 😉

    But seriously, I love the blog and force feed it too my hubby by reading out loud!

  296. Wow, that would certainly make days of uncontrollable giggles on the London Undergroud which resulted in people backing away with a look of fear in their eyes as well as the need to change my underwear on arrival at work as, during said giggle fits, a little bit of wee had come out…totally worth it!!!!!

  297. An autographed copy of your book is sure to be worth millions someday in the not too distant future…

  299. Whether or not you could have done this without us is moot, since you have lived this awesome life. You inspire me, you make me laugh, you make me strive to be a better woman struggling with depression and anxiety. You are a true friend to a bazillion people, even when you’re hiding in the bathroom. Thank you Jenny, for all you do.

  300. Wish you were coming closer…there’s loads of us in Nova Scotia who would love to see you.

    Good luck on the rest of your tour!

  303. If I am obligated to leave a witty comment. I applogize in advance, as I woke up greatly lacking wit.

  304. I wish I had been able to come to one of your signings… You deserve to be on the best seller list. Have fun on the last of your tour!

  305. As a school librarian, I feel a bit guilty if I am reading materials other than books for kids or educational stuff. There is always too much new literature coming down the pipeline, and I have to try and stay on top of it. When I am not reading about teen vampires, zombies, and dystopias, I read your blogs. I would love to get your book so that A) I can recommend it to teachers, moms, and other people as twisted as I am B) I have an excuse to break away from teen vampires, zombies, and dystopias. I mean, it’s a gift, right? I can’t just NOT read it if it is a gift? 🙂

    Congrats on the success you’re experiencing. You’ve made so many of us laugh, feel less alone in the world, and look at life with new perspective. You’re the best! (and so is Viktor!)

  306. Excuse me for shouting, but . . . CANNOT WAIT TO SEE YOU IN SEATTLE!!

  307. Any chance that you can come do a book tour in England? You could collect a dubious taxidermy Loch Ness Monster, take a ride in the TARDIS and visit a museum for brains! We have so much to offer!!! Plus, some very swish bathrooms for reatreating to, should the need arise.
    Yours in hope (or London, whatever),
    Jen.

  309. I SO want an autographed copy to accompany my already well-worn copy with the bookplate. I LOVE You ! Everything about you! Gonna go as you on Halloween !

  310. A daily dose of laughter is what everyone needs and you make me laugh more than once a day!

    Have a safe journey and don’t melt when you get to Arizona!

  311. I am so excited that you’re finally making it to Arizona! I’m making a special trip down to Phoenix for this, and I hate Phoenix. As in, hate it so much I don’t visit family down there very much. This is how awesome you are.

  313. Just finished “Let’s Pretend…” Couldn’t stop laughing out loud! You’re amazing, thanks for sharing your story with us 🙂

  314. best.giveaway.ever. i would so want the british version so i could compare AND contrast with my American copy.

  315. I would love a copy! I borrowed my friend’s copy to read and am now desperate for one of my own to re-read!

  316. I would like to jump on this contest bandwagon. Your mind is amazingly awesome in many ways and I love reading your work. Enjoy basking in the limelight on this upcoming tour!

  317. Love love loved the book! I did not want it to end! Would appreciate a hard copy of the book so that I can view all of those wonderful pictures!

  319. I already own a hardcover copy, but I’d love to hear you reading it. I drive around a ton for my stressful job, and I could use a midday laugh.

  321. Congratulations on your success! A hard copy would be so wonderful…I keep telling my roommate (who, I think, has fallen in love with you) that he needs to read your book, but I had downloaded it because I was too impatient to wait until I could get to the bookstore. He is a slow reader and I do not want to be without my phone (which has my Kindle app) for that long.

    Ah well…if I’m not chosen to win, I will probably just buy a hard copy anyway. I tell too many people about it not to have a copy on hand for loaning to them.

  322. Love your book! I had to stop reading it in public because I would laugh out loud and people were looking at me like I was an escaped prisoner :). Best book ever!

  323. I recently e-mailed you to tell you that I am in Seattle and on your book tour list…I just didn’t know if I would be alive long enough to make it that far. Your fairy godmother Mary was sweet enough to reply to my e-mail. I’m trying really hard to make it to August, if only to meet you. I can check off one more day now.

  325. This is like Christmas in July! I would love the audio copy – the book was great!! With my new audio copy I can listen to it on my long commute to work – and laugh until I cry every morning… well maybe I shouldn’t cry because that could cause an accident.. but the audio book would make me a super happy gal! I can’t wait for you in Seattle!

  326. You happen to be on the best-seller list STILL because you are spectacularly witty and I’m not just saying that to suck up and win, but because I truly enjoyed your book.
    OK – and just a little to suck up if it will swing the odds in my favor…cuz I would so love to hear the audio version.

  327. I was reading your book in bed. My husband was trying to sleep, and I kept laughing (potato chip on the floor, being kicked in the face.) I said to him, “Sorry, I guess I shouldn’t read this at night.” He said, “Yes, you know how I hate your joy.” True love. : )

  328. It would be a big thrill for me to wil a signed copy of your book. You have made a difference in a lot of lives….including mine.

  329. I wish I lived closer so I could get to one of your book tour events! My sis-in-law just gave me your book and I’m loving it. Thank you for sharing all of these wonderful laugh out loud stories!

  330. Oooooh, I desperately want an autographed American version. Pick me… But, if you don’t I will probably order one from Changing Hands. So, I guess there is very little incentive for you to pick me. Except that it would make a much better story if I won it than if I ordered it from Arizona. And really, it’s all about having a story to tell, right?

  331. oooh! me! me! Audiobook, please! (Bought the book, read it, love it, recommend it.)

  332. I missed you in South Florida because I got sick with the plague or something horrible and the Walgreen’s pharmacist kept telling me I just had a cold, but isn’t that how the plague started? A cold between rodents?

    Anyway, I won’t be able to make it to any stops on your book tour because my cape is in the shop.

    Did I win anything yet?

  334. Oh my goodness, I would LOVE this!!!! An autographed American copy would be absolutely fantastic!

  335. I am looking foward to seeing you in Seattle! My husband is from Texas, and he loves it here. Perhaps you might consider moving up here someday. As fas as I know we have no scorpions or poisonous snakes. And it’s the PNW – we embrace unique and therefore you.

    I hope you next book comes together in less than 10 years! Looking foward to reading it.

  337. I have a Goodreads account, Cynthia Paschen. I will share my copy with my oldest daughter Madeline, #18 reviewer on Goodreads (USA) We will both write reviews of your book.
    Thank You!

  338. Never thank a person for having good taste… see you in Seattle….and I am passing up Lauren Jackson Bobblehead night for you and the Seattle Storm and….WAIT A JENNY LAWSON BOBBLEHEAD…SOMEONE GET ON THAT…

  340. Not only are you not coming to the Chicagoland area, but I haven’t managed to arrange my annual trip to Ontario so I can’t see you there, either. 🙁 (I’m still searching for the perfect “Beyonce” with which to irritate my husband… I know she’s out there… somewhere.)

  341. If you are the reader on the audio, definitely would love that, if not, the British version, already have the American version and it was wonderful.

  342. I already bought the book (and have the autographed bookplate), but would LOVE the audio book! I can’t get enough Jenny!

  343. I would love a free autographed copy… to share of course. Congrats, so well deserved.

  344. I gave my mom my copy that I bought at the airport, because I knew she’d love it. I would love a new copy!

  345. I not only loved the book, but my 18 year old daughter did and my 14 year old son keeps reading pieces out loud to me. That is why you are still on the bestseller list – you are funny and appeal to everyone!

  346. I live a mere three and a half hours from Toronto, yet I cannot make the pilgrimige. AUGH! You finally come to Canada and I’m thwarted by Toronto. If only you’d come to Ottawa…. Next tour, hopefully. As a mildly disgruntled and thwarted Canadian, I would be mollified by an audio version, as I already have the hard cover.

  347. How fun! I’d be happy with a signed US version or the audio…. my Kindle loves you already!

  348. I dreamed that I found your book at a book sale over the weekend. I was so disappointed when I realized it wasn’t so.

  349. This just happened

    Friend: You should TOTALLY read this book (holds up Lets Pretend this Never Happened)
    Me: Please, I was reading her before it was cool
    Friend: Did you just turn into a hipster right now?

    I hipstered for you. I can’t even look in the mirror. What if I have an ironic mustache?!

  351. one of my best friends told me about your blog and book just this morning. After checking out your blog, belly laughing, and identifying with your anxiety and bathroom retreats i cant wait to read your book!!

  352. A signed copy of your book would make me happier than it’s probably legal to be in the state of Arizona. Also, it would give me something to show my cat, Barkley, because he is a super-fan of your cat, Posey, and is also my own personal psychopath on the other side of the bathroom door. Shortly after reading your book, I found myself in a similar situation caused not by laxative but by an unfortunate Mexican food episode that I’ve probably already said too much about. Anyway, I, too, was alone in my house when the bathroom door handle started jiggling. “Someone’s in here!!”, I heard myself yelling. Then the absurdity of the situation struck me and I started laughing but then Barkley succeeded in opening the door which flew open because he was standing against it and so then I started screaming.

    Anyway, in conclusion, a signed copy of your book would make for two very ecstatic Jenny Lawson & Posey super-fans in my house and would also become a cherished family heirloom as we don’t have many nice things.

  353. Im so happy for you. And proud if I can say that without sounding condescending. And also a little disturbed because I read your book and Fifty Shades at the same time and I had some very awkward dreams about you and victor….and wolf blitzer.

  354. I looked for your book at my local Barnes & Noble and they didn’t have it in stock! That’s how awesome it is… or must be since I haven’t read it myself yet! Hopefully soon…

  355. Thank you for including Minneapolis! I was going to stalk you across the country (or Canada if necessary) but now I do it from the comfort of my local suburbia. Yay!

  356. Alas, you’re not comin far enough east for me to even dream of meeting you! Plus silly things like kids, work, and responsibility keep me from packing a bag and going to any of your signings. Le sigh… But the work and you are awesome!!

  358. I’d love an audio copy, listening to you on the excerpt was 100x funnier than the book (and the book made me nearly crack a rib laughing!), you bring such personality to it 🙂

    Congratulations on the bestseller list, you totally deserve it! <3

  359. Perhaps you already got this comment but I do not see it so I’m posting again….

    This seems like a great bathroom read…and a hilarious book all around so I wants. Plus my birthday is on thursday so pick me pick me!!!

    On a more serious note I’ve been sniffing around you blog for the past few months, and think it’s hilarious and wonderfully honest so thank you 🙂

  360. ok, I’m usually a silent follower, and I haven’t won anything since winning a Tandy TRS80 in the grade four bike rodeo (yeah, if that doesn’t age me….), but hey, can’t turn down a chance at a free (and much coveted) book! (and since my funds are very tight these days, I have’t been able to move your book from my amazon wish list to my shopping cart just yet!). Congrats on all your success!!

  361. awww man! I just knew that when I clicked on your last leg that you would make it up to Lubbock! haha good luck on your tour!

  362. YAY for the giveaway since my library has 4 copies for 105 holds and hubby lost his job a few weeks ago so any money we have has gone to stupid stuff like mortgage and food . . . and I thought about shoplifting (hey you said I could) but I just didn’t have the nerve/balls/fast shoes to do it.

  363. You are still on the NYT beause I just purhased 3 copies for you to sign in Tempe. I have 2 sisters who live out of state that want your book and me to see you and since I am afraid of them, I obey.

  364. Ooh, I told a friend about your book last night – but I won’t let her borrow my copy, because the last book I gave her was just returned. After five years. BUT if I win an autographed British copy, then she can totally have my boring ol’ American copy.

  369. P.S. The Jessica H. that has comment # 243 is not me…what a fun coincidence!

  370. It is a fantastic read – my husband and I both enjoyed it tremendously and laughed until we cried at parts. 🙂

    I’d love a British copy !!! I can keep our stateside copy company on our bookshelves.

  371. I’m so happy that your book is on the best seller list! I wish you were coming to Detroit, but I understand why you may want to stay away!

  372. I would love the audio to share with my mother. She’s blind. I’m deaf and have the hard copy. We find this sort of amusing when we go out together in public. The deaf leading the blind. Until we communicate then it usually ends up reversed.

  373. Oh, I’d love to win a copy of your book! I’m too cheap to buy one (budget’s tight) and the library doesn’t have one.

  374. Congratulations, Jenny! Your book is spectacular and I recommend it to everyone I meet.

  375. I want a copy of your book! And a signed Beyonce, but I figure the book is easier to ship. 😉

  378. I would love to win! I am hoping to be able to make it to your stop in Minnesota but I’m not sure if I can!

  379. I would love to win a copy! I’ve been recommending it to all of my friends…and I haven’t even read it yet!

  380. Would love an autographed copy of the US or British version. I was very disappointed I missed out on the nameplate.

  381. You need to get a taxidermied SOMETHING to dress like a mountie to put on your pony when you travel to Canada land! 🙂

  382. I borrowed your book from my friend who *is* going to see you in Toronto, and need to give it back to her. She, meanwhile, is in the throes of creative misery as she tries to think of things to give you that will make you laugh so hard you have to lie down.

    It’s a strange form of love, but a real one.

  383. Your book is still on the bestseller list because it is awesome! I’d love to win a signed copy 🙂

  384. Funny you thanking us…your book and blog are my Zoloft AND Xanax. No, thank YOU! And by that I don’t mean no thank you I don’t want an autographed copy, I mean…well you know what I mean…punctuation…

  385. If I wasn’t a full time mom I’d drive an hour into Toronto, stand in the cheering section and welcome you to our beloved city! Enjoy your brief trip to Canada ((Hugs))

  386. I am very disappointed that you didn’t come anywhere close to the nation’s capital. Really, most of the politicians are imported, and the natives aren’t like that at all. I promise. (And you know how we feel about promises around here!)

    You can make it up to me with a book. Because I don’t want any taxidermied animals. And I don’t look good in a dress. And I don’t have enough hair left for those curlers.

  387. I wish I could come up with something wild and witty to say to ensure I was one of the chosen ones, but I’m sorry…that’s why I read you, to avoid the work of trying to be wild and witty! (Please, STOP trying to make me do your job for you! Geeze!)
    So I’m just gonna jump up and down in my computer chair, waving my hand wildly in the air while screaming, “Me! Me! Me! Oh oh oh, pick ME!!!!!” (yeah, right up until all the jumping causes a baldder incident, which will TOTALLY be on YOUR head! Thanks a lot…)

  388. Jenny Lawson,
    Where do I begin? Thank you for your book. It makes me feel a little more sane (which is totally fucking dangerous!). Knowing that Victor has made it through all this gives me great hope for my husband. But what I am really trying to say is that I enjoyed your book so much because we have so many similarities. Well, in part. Except that your anxieties lead you to the bathroom, hanging out like the girl that is too cool for the party while I end up running to the bathroom trying to beat the shit storm my anxieties bring on and then I have people all panicked that they are going to get food poisoning and my husband has to explain not to worry, I do this all the time. Okay, maybe it doesn’t happen quite like that but if we had friends that invited us over it would. That’s why my bathroom is the safest place to be. Desperately trying to hide away from my fears of the world, or from my children and husband. And I am tired of retreading the same damn magazine that is three years old now so now you see why it is so important to have your book. As my safe room supply. And now I find myself wondering if I really want to post this rant for the world to see. Yes! Yes I do! Because if Jenny Lawson can do it, so can I! And if that ends up on a shirt, I want one of those too. Signed, “you are one badass bitch- in a good way” because that’s how you make me feel, Jenny Lawson. And I am grateful. The end. I think. (a sigh of relief that the rambling can now end) (and the obsessive checking of the inbox can begin) (someone stop me please!!!) okay, here is the real end. .

  391. They translated your book into British English?! How awesome! I’d love to see an Irish version, if one was done. They say “feck” instead of “fuck,” which is such a fecking hoot.

  392. I can’t find anywhere that sells the audio book so I hope you pick me!

  393. I might have squealed a little when I saw you’re coming to Toronto. Can’t wait!

  395. Congratulations! And get onto the next book…. I’m going to hold my breath until it comes out. Actually, I’m not because I have too much to live for. Unicorn sucess club duties and all. 😉

  397. Just finished reading your book~ it was hysterical. My sides hurt from laughing! I now use the phrase “Dear Victor” as a warning to my husband! (I read him the post it note chapter) I would LOVE to win an audio version, then I could hear your voice!

  398. I’m so happy for you, but I’m also totally unsurprised at your bestselling awesomeness. You’re a fabulous writer with a unique perspective, and you’ve written your butt off (erm…likely not literally). I hope your second proposal goes through: can’t wait to read more!

    Well. That was the extent of my sappy good will for the week. I’m sure Husband will roll his eyes at you now, since I’ve spent his quota on you. Hahahaha.

  399. I’m taking my doctoral candidacy examination in Plant Science and Biotechnology next week – after the 5 days of 8 hour exams I would love to read something that isn’t a science textbook!

  400. I would love the audio CD. And more kitten pictures would be welcomed… kittens are awesome.

  401. My whole family has read your book and it actually helped through some tough times. You may enjoy that I bought my dad his own mini-Beyonce to stick outside his office window.

    And since I’ve only borrowed a copy from my family members, I would love to have my own. Possibly the British version. So I’m that much closer to being the next Doctor’s companion.

  402. Loved your book, and got my boyfriend reading it too. I cheated and skipped to Beyonce’s chapter, and read it aloud to him. Giggles ensued. Manly giggles from him, of course.

  405. An American version of you book, please! I enjoy your texts so much, I started to read post entries to fill my Jenny quota!

  406. I’ve read and re-read your book, I keep finding new things to laugh at! I would love to have the audio version so I could hear it in your voice!

  407. So there is a big metal chicken outside of a restaurant in Brownwood, TX. I think of you every time I pass by it.

    Would love to have an autographed book!

  409. Please please send me your book! Reading your blog makes my day, every time I’m on here.

  410. I don’t generally enter blog giveaways because they’re usually giving out something I will never enjoy. But having a signed copy of your book is, like, shrine-worthy. In fact, if I win a signed copy, I will erect a shrine in my house for said book and post pictures of it on my blog for you. That’s TOTALLY free advertising, which is way better than advertising you pay for. See? Win/win for both of us.

    Also, my blog has pictures of carrots with penises, so you’ll fit right in.

    Also, I’ll donate the copy of your book that I already have to the families needy children*.

    (No, not UNDERPRIVILEGED children, NEEDY children. The type that whine all the time and are never happy? Their parents need some escapism. They also should know how to traumatize their children by using dead squirrel puppets and such. Think about it: We’ll be saving families together.)

  411. Because of you, I almost purchased a five-foot tall rooster akin to the famed Beyonce while driving through Mississippi earlier this month. It would’ve looked great on my boyfriend’s front porch next to wicker one-foot tall rooster he purchased to shut me up. Thanks for that.

  412. I turned 24 yesterday. An autographed copy of the British version of your book would be the BEST birthday present!

  414. Yes, methinks an audio version would be quite welcome, thank you. Enjoy your time in the great white north, eh!!

  416. Love, love, love the book! And the blog! And your life! Thanks for sharing all of them. I greatly look forward to your Nobel Prize in Literature acceptance speech.

    … oh, wait… I think I wasn’t supposed to mention that just yet. Please disregard.

    Eric Francis, Chairman
    Nobel Academy
    Sweden

  417. SO glad to have found you (and Beyonce!!). You make me laugh almost daily.

    Peace!

  419. I thought about driving the 10+ hours to get to Portland to get a signed book, but my sciatic nerve is acting up and I dont think a drive that long would be good for it. So I’ll settle for winning a copy of the signed book here. 🙂

    And congrats on all your success! The Beyonce story alone, make the book worth it’s full price, so thank you for my own little personal copy of that!

  420. I’d love to have a paper copy. Thanks for making me laugh out loud! I’m having to look harder and harder for books that put the “comic” part back into the “tragi-comedy” of life.

  421. Would love an autograph copy! Maybe you could add New Orleans to your tour too!

  423. Congratulations on all your success! I would LOVE to have the audio version, please/thanks!

  424. Yay! I’ve got the Nook version but would TREASURE a signed copy of your book. For real.

  426. Not only have both my husband and I read your book, but so have all of my colleagues at work. A couple of weeks ago, my admin walked in with a tiny squirrel stuffie, smashed into a cracker box and yelled, “Guess who I am!” The whole cubicle area laughed so hard, that our ED had to come over and tell us to quiet down. 🙂

    Wish I could catch you in Toronto, but I’m in Ottawa and I unfortunately can’t slip away for the 5+ hrs it takes to drive up there. Have a fantastic end of tour – you earned it!

  427. I just wanted to thank you again, your book is both hilarious, and has been a wonderful insight into my wife’s brain, which is wired much like yours, and it has really helped us to grow closer.

  428. Have fun, stay safe and don’t let the Canadians convert you. If you’re anywhere near these stops for Jenny’s tour — stop what you’re doing and GO. You’ll never regret it, and you only live once! (Even if you choose to pretend it didn’t happen at the end.)

  429. I would love to win the audio book – I need something to entertain me during the seven hour drive to Edina!

    Thanks,

    Stacia

  430. Congratulations on your book success! I loved the book and you are such an inspiration. The only thing better than reading the book would be hearing you read it!

  431. I’m really sad because I was lamenting for months about the fact that you weren’t bringing your book tour to Toronto, and now that you are, I’m not going to be able to go. I am playing Henry Higgins in a production of Pygmalion, and I have rehearsal that night. I suppose I could call in sick, but that would totally screw everyone else in the cast because Higgins is in almost every scene. So, I’m choosing to do the right thing, but have to miss the chance to meet you as a result. Major bummer. Oh well–I’ll make sure to keep my calendar free for when the tour for your 2nd book comes to town.

    Congrats on all your success, Jenny. Thanks for all you’ve shared with us.

  432. I would DIE to win a copy! Although that would make it a bit difficult to read if I won… hmm….

    But seriously I do really really want a copy but haven’t been able to buy one since finances have been really tight here. But I love you so much and I would just about die laughing as I always do reading your blog. My husband doesn’t get it, but I don’t care. He already knows he married the crazy, he’s stuck now!

  434. Do you have a British audio version? You know, you reading it with a hoity-toity fake British accent. I want that one.

  436. I *never* win anything, except Gold during sex…! Would love to win a British version – if your amazing blog posts are anything to go by, I’ll need to invest in some incontinece pants….!

  437. You make me laugh until I do this really unattractive wheeze/snort, and that’s something I value immensely. Congratulations on all of your success with your book, I hope it stays a bestseller for a long time to come!

  438. Oooh!
    Pick me, pretty please.
    I like free.
    And your blog makes me laugh, so
    I imagine your American book would
    make me laugh, too.
    Thank you.
    Also making me laugh: the time and effort I am putting into this comment, because
    1. it will never be noticed, tossed in with the hundreds of other comments
    2. I should be doing laundry, but I am not, because I am *so busy* on the computer, like it’s my job, which it isn’t, because I can’t seem to make blogging pay.
    Thank you, again. This has been a welcome break from laundry.

  439. Read your book on a friend’s recommendation. We texted back and forth while reading it! Like a text version of a book club! You’re welcome!

  441. Love the fantastic observations you make everyday! I have literally spit diet coke out of my nose!

  443. I really want a signed book, so that I can gloat continuously that I have one and none of my friends do. Please help me make my friends jealous! And I’m gonna try to get off work so I can come to your signing in Minneapolis!

  444. see you on the 7th! hope you have nice digs to stay in when in Toronto. If not, call me and I’ll gladly put up at my house!

  445. A not-so-small thank you for being awesome! Glad to hear the book is still doing well. Well-deserved!

  446. Thank you for sharing your wonderful and unique view on the world with us. You brighten all our days, Jenny!

  447. Jenny, you are an inspiration to more people than you know. And only a small percentage of them are anthropomorphized taxidermy projects.

  448. I now have the Oh Canada song looping in my head! Congrats I have the Kindle Versions so a hard copy would be awesome to put on display next to my stuffed Otter 🙂

  449. I would love a copy to share with my bookclub! (It would really be mine, but I will share, promise.)

  451. The first thing I did after I read your book was check out a book from my library on how to write creative non-fiction. Because you’re GODDAMNED INSPIRING.

    I’ve also picked up some of your shout-y capitalization habits.

    While reading your book, I laughed like a crazy person many times. I realized that my social anxiety doesn’t mean that I can’t have a voice. And I was encouraged to go learn something new. Point being, you’ve already given me a gift, so this isn’t even a ploy for a signed copy – it’s just to say thank you.

  453. My husband and I have been sharing your blog posts with each other since the first Beyonce post. I feel like I’m a little late to the game, but you’re now on my Reader feed.

    We’re coming to the event in Minnesota. Would love to have your book in my hands for you to sign.

  454. So glad you wrote the book! I’m 3/4 or so the way through, and it’s so good to read about someone else who turned not fitting in into an act of resisting the Borg. 🙂

  455. Signing up for an American copy, since I’m planning on buying a copy for my mom and would hate to steal hers in order to read it.

    You shouldn’t give a gift without the intention of letting the person KEEP it, after all.

  456. Take pity upon me! I’m at home with a three week old- my first. Surely I could use your book to break the monotony of midnight feedings!

  457. Bought this book and loved it! Took my children to the water park, but found it difficult to put the book down long enough to enjoy many of the rides (No judgement here people…my children are older and they don’t want their mother, especially their mother in a bathing suit, following them around). So I just sat in my chair, obnoxiously laughing out loud, while the lady next to me (reading non-fiction) gave me the stink eye!

  458. I’m so freaking stoked that you’re coming to Minneapolis. You can bet I’ll be there!

  460. We literally could not have done it without you, either!(since you’re the one that actually did it) Thanks a million for writing the book that we needed to read. You’re the best.

  461. would love a copy since 3 of us were trying to share a hard copy and 3 more were stealing wifi from the neighbor to read your blog this weekend!!

  462. I tried to convince my husband we needed a giant metal chicken for the yard the other day. He wouldn’t go for it. Maybe if I had told him I was going to name it Beyonce he’d be ok with it? I don’t know. I hadn’t come up with a name yet, though. Next time, I’m not asking, I’m just going to surprise him with such things.

  463. I REALLY, REALLY would love to have an autographed copy. I bought my copy for the Nook. I had planned to come see you in Atlanta but my husband couldn’t get off work to watch the kids 🙁

  464. I think your blog is amazing! And so is your red dress project…and your book. Thanks so much for putting all that creativity out into the world.

  465. I want the audio version of your books so much! I’d already purchased the hardcover when I found the YouTube video of you reading the first chapter and now I MUST hear the rest. And I loaned your book to my sister, so I’m never getting that copy back.

  466. Sign my Kindle book! Sigh, ok, I want a hard copy just so I can get you to sign it!

  467. Pick me! Pick me! I will use your book to spread good and happiness and rainbows all over the world. And also a little bit of evil.

  468. As a kid, and later as a teacher, the Junie B. Jones book were my all-time favorite. I love that kid! And I for real think you are the grownup version of Junie B. Which is honestly the highest compliment I know to give anyone. Loved listening to your book and now occasionally find myself narrating my life in my head using your voice. You are one of the bravest, funniest women I know. thank you for your blog, and your book.
    Love,
    A Junie B. and Bloggess fan.

  469. Would love the audio version!!!!! I have read the book and intend to pick it up often for a “pick me up” when needed!!!!!

  470. I’m not the slightest bit surprised it’s on the best seller list!! It the most refreshing book! Filled with hilarious stories and it reads like you’re sitting right here telling them. Thanks for sharing, and I know I’M looking forward to book #2!

  471. Your book is the only one that I have ever read and laughed out loud (literally) so much! I would read in bed and start cracking up and my husband was always like, WTH??? Loved it! Can’t wait until your next book!

  472. I totally need a copy. It was my birthday last week, and people completely neglected to give one to me, in spite of my Amazon wish.ist, which contained (nearly) nothing else.

  475. I’d love to win a signed copy……………..because I keep loaning mine out for all of my friends to read! And you know what? They love it just as much as I do. So great.

  478. I loved your book, it made me laugh so much. Only problem was that I didn’t have any ethically taxidermied animals to read it with, so I made do with a stuffed toy Tricerotops called Trevor and Eeyor. So congratulations on the book’s success and thank you for making me feel less anxious about my own anxieties/neurosis. My next goal is to get a version of the audiobook in the UK to continue the joy!!

  479. When my boyfriend arrived home(sweden) from a 3 week business trip in canada i dragged him straight to bed and read the Ritz cracker squirrel puppet chapter to him out loud. He couldnt breath by the time i was done and now follows your blog religously. That and i vote for Scott again.

  480. My mom & I are driving 3 1/2 hours from Fargo to see you in Mpls. Don’t worry, we’ll leave the woodchippers at home.

  481. ooooh. Pick me. Pick me.
    PS – I use the line “And that’s when I realized I no longer had the Turkey Baster.” as a short cut explanation for every scarring and embarrassing moment of my life. It’s saved me a lot of time, since I have those moments far more frequently than I should.

  483. Seeing as how I have purchased the digital, audio CDs and the American hardback versions, I NEED the British version to complete my set! It also means I love you more 😉

  484. I was going to try and say something witty, but really I’m just very grateful you wrote a book about owning your personality despite (or perhaps in spite) of all the obstacles to being genuine.

    <3 small talk suicides.

    pick me, pick me, pickmepickmePICKME.

  485. I too would love to win a hard copy. I bought the kindle version AND a hard copy but I gave it to my girlfriend who I believe could really benefit from your experience AND humor. A signed replacement would be A-MAZ-ING!

  486. I really want to read your book! I love your writing style here on the blog.

  489. I would be thrilled to win a copy – I read your book at my mom’s a few weeks ago, but sadly she would not let me take it home with me. Boo.

  491. I don’t have much extra time to read, but the time I do have is spent reading your blog and book!

  492. I’ve heard that the audio version has outtakes…. so an audio CD copy would be AWESOME! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!

  493. I’d love an autographed American version please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! After all, I tell people about Juanita all the time!

  494. I am sadface because you came to North Carolina, but NOT to Raleigh, so while you were signing books for my sociology professor two and a half hours away, I was weeping disconsolately into a stuffed muskrat. Is that how you want to see taxidermied rodents treated, Jenny? Is it? As snot rags?

    I didn’t think so. You owe me. You owe the muskrats.

  496. A friend suggested I read your blog…simply to add a little more hysteria to my day. Now I am hooked! If only I could get my husband to quit giving me the “you really are crazy and I should have listened to my mother” look when I read a post to him. Keep up the great work!

  497. You’ve earned that spot, and then some.

    Congratulations on your success. I am so happy that’s happened for you.

  498. I had plans to see you in Allen, tx….however, my 11 month old had other plans! I’d love a copy of the book:)

  500. I bought the e-book and I keep putting off reading it! I know when I start it I will fly through it and then I will be done and sad. I would love a signed copy!

  501. I have only recently discovered your blog in hearing the publicity about your book but I absolutely love it.

  502. I read your book, and the only thing I can think of that would be better is hearing YOU read the book.

  503. I would LOVE a signed copy. The article about Beyonce the Chicken made me cry.

  504. I hope that it goes great!

    Or that it will at least make great fodder for your next book…

  507. I would LOVE to have the audio version! But I never win giveaways. 🙂

  508. I’m going to try to see you in Edina Minnesota soon but would love a copy of your book as well!

  509. My mom told me about your book and blog and I loved every second of it! And now, as a bookseller at Barnes & Noble in Tennessee, I can’t help gushing about it to all the customers and fellow booksellers!! Lots of your books are flying out the door here!!

  510. Oooh, I have the e-book but would LOVE a hard copy 🙂 Laughed so hard, the husband thought I was drunk.

  514. I like free stuff! Since you aren’t doing a book signing in Kerrville, sadly I can’t attend the final leg. Your book is literally my life except instead of taxidermist, my dad is in a cult. See, so similar, I know, right?

  516. Oh. my. lanta! I think that I need a signed copy. I have the kindle version but it’s not like having the real deal. I would also be cool with an audio CD, mainly so I could irritate the hell out of my husband. He doesn’t think that taxidermy animal collections are as cool as I do. Clearly, he’s has no sense of humor.

  517. Would a photo of me wearing collated paper while holding twine improve my chances?

  518. Ooo! I would love a copy of the book or the audio version. I bought it when it came out and I got up to the chapter about the cow-vagina before I lent/gave my copy to a friend who found out she had cancer and needed something to cheer her up during her surgery and treatments. (And she totally sympathized about the whole-gynocologist at Starbucks run-in- because she was having to get naked in front of so many doctors back in the spring time. HA!)

    Thank you, Jenny! You’re awesome.

  520. I NEEEEEED a copy of the British version! I’m going to try to come to the Phoenix signing, so happy you’re finally coming to AZ!

  522. I just had to tell you how much I am just enjoying this book. You tell a great tale in your own voice and even with anxiety dosorder and depression, you still find positive moments and humor in each situation. I truly believe its powers like these that help us get through the world as we know it today. Believe or not, I think you’re a great role model and a great humorist. Thank you for such a womderful and honest memoir! Best of luck in the future!

  525. I have kindle version and would love to have American version hard copy to give my father who is not doing so well. I’m looking forward to seeing you in Portland, OR for my own hard copy version.

  528. I’d love to read your american version…maybe i can convince the whole book club to read it too!

  531. Still wringing my hands because you don’t come to Maine….but love your stuff, so all is forgiven.

  532. Have a great trip! I own the American version, LOVED it, and if you pick me for an autographed copy, I’d like the British version, in honor of the Brits & their Summer Olympics!! Thanks.

  533. I read your book on the plane, coming back from taking 50 elementary kids from Houston to Minneapolis. We passed the book around and took turns reading out loud…when the reader was laughing to hard to breathe properly, the book got passed to the next person. You are an inspiration and a modern day wonder of the world!

  534. Thought you’d appreciate the fact that when I checked out your Toronto book tour, your information was right before information about Captain Underpants.

  535. Live on an island with a medically fragile child who can only be left with her nurse and the closest you came to me was Boston which would have been fine (only 1 1/2 hr ferry ride then 3 1/2 hour car ride) if my oldest was not getting ready to graduate high school right then! *sob*sob*sob* So, I would LOVE an autographed copy of you audiobook. I already have it on my Nook, my itunes and the hardcover with my treasured autographed book plate lovingly stuck inside. But a girl can never get enough Bloggess on her life. 😉

  536. Absolutely loved the book and am slowly, but surely exposing more people to your blog so that I can tell people things like, “Knock-knock, mother******” and have them get the joke. Thanks for being whimsical and creative and for often brutally honest in your struggles. You bring joy, laughter, and an invitation to recognize the beauty all around us.

  537. I’m entering into my last month of pregnancy and everyone tells me once the baby’s here I’ll have no time to read. So I plan to read your book to the baby because I am good at multitasking like that.

    Also – congratulations on your success! You certainly deserve it and I’m thrilled for you. Thank you for sharing your stories (and yourself) with all of us!

  538. I keep entering and hoping to win an audio copy, but thus far the stars have not aligned. I just reread the last two chapters of your book last night for fun, while I was sitting in bed wide awake instead of sleeping. I was SO excited to see that you were coming to the Pacific NW, but unfortunately, you come to Portland on a weekday and it is a 3 hour drive from where I live and I work from 8-6 M-F. Sigh. I want to be there sooooo bad. I hope the tour goes well for you! If you happen to ever find yourself in Bend, Oregon…let me know!!
    P.S. I think you’ll love Portland. They pride themselves on being ‘weird.’ It makes me happy.

  539. Jenny – I loved reading your book and share your blog with everyone. Thank you for sharing your “neuroses” with the rest of us…we’re all in this crazy world together. Congrats on staying on the bestseller list!

  542. Congrats on the tour, I have not been able to see you, which makes me sad. However, on a better note, I’ve been trolling thrift stores trying to find ethically killed/stuffed animals.
    Thanks for giving me a new hobby.

  543. Missed you when you were here in Chicago =( BUT would love to win a signed copy of your book!

    Congrats on your second round of tours!!!!

  546. I so wish you were coming to Cleveland, OH! I would love to meet you and talk wackiness with you! I love your posts and love your book and am so happy I stumbled across your site! You make so many people feel hopeful. And that’s awesomeness.

  547. I am savoring it – any time I let my mental health get to me, or I have a rough day, or my husband just fails to appreciate my uniqueness, I boot up the nook and read a little while. I don’t want to tear through it – I rather creepily use it as my virtual Jenny friend. I’d love a hard copy to share!

  548. I heart your book and blog!!! The Double Unicorn Success Club is the only club I having willing joined in my adult life and I feel like a successful productive member seeing how I am constantly spamming my friends with pictures of Wil Wheaton. I deserve a signed book 🙂 Don’t you think…

  549. Jenny,

    I posted this on your Facebook Page but I want to post it here as well.

    My daughter was born with Amniotic Band Syndrome and is missing her left arm from the elbow down. Some wonderful ladies at my Sister-In-Laws Church have started fundraising to buy her a prosthetic arm. Would you share the link to her Facebook Page to help get the word out? She’s a beautiful little girl but she just wants to look a little more like other girls. She doesn’t want to be stared at all the time anymore. She just wants to feel like a regular kid. It reminds me so much of your Traveling Red Dress.

    This is her Facebook Page. https://www.facebook.com/aislynsdreamz

    Could you please tweet or write about my beautiful little girl and get the word out? I would never dream of asking for help for myself. But for her… I’d do anything.

  550. I was sitting on my front porch reading your book one day and laughing so much tears were running down my face. Fortunately no neighbors were there to witness the lune across the street!

  551. Have a wonderful last leg of the book tour! I’m so upset that I haven’t been able to come see you on tour.

    I’d love to have a British copy!

  552. I love the book; I’d love an audio copy to listen to on road trips even more!

  554. Since you didn’t come to Nebraska on your book tour (not that I blame you), I feel you owe me a really cool Brittish version of your book. All will be forgiven and peace will be restored blah blah blah. You’re awesome btdubs.

  555. I live about 12 miles from Changing Hands and plan to be there when you visit. I’ll be the obsessive, stalker-like guy hanging out in the back . . . I will bring my copy for an autograph, but will gladly accept another to give away to some deserving soul. And since I’m local, I’ll save you (well, someone) the trouble of shipping the book.

  556. Me too! Me too! I want one – so I can show my husband why I laugh out loud in the mornings I read your blog and coffee comes out of my nose.

  557. I could definitely use some laughter. I’m pretty sure evrybody here hates me.

  559. I would love to win a copy of your book!!! I love your blog, but can’t afford the book at the moment because I’m a broke grad student, and there is a wait list of 50 for the library copy!

  560. I’ve been on the waiting list for your book at the library forever, but would be so thrilled to win any version of it (American preferred, but any would be awesome!).
    Congrats on all of your success with the book! 🙂

  562. I love your posts! I’m still waiting to get my hands on your book so this would be the perfect opportunity…..plus this one would be extra special! It would be awesome to have a signed copy. I’m keeping my fingers and toes crossed for this one 🙂

  563. My kindle version has kept me company and has been well abused. Wishing you had gotten closer to Columbus Ohio.. but I will suffer through!! I would love your autograph.. so I can add to my ” who are these ppl” autographs (You would be the first famous one)

  564. Just when I thought all hope was lost you added Arizona to your book tour. I am feeling lucky so put me in the running for a free book. I have it on my Nook already and love, love, love! See you in Tempe!

  565. I’d love an audio-copy! I’ve read the book twice and loaned it out to people (the last one still hasn’t returned it yet) and I need a fix!

  566. Congrats to your huge success with the book. So happy to be a very small part of it!!!

  568. I already own the book…but I would love to have an autographed copy! I absolutely loved the book. Can’t wait for your next one!

  569. Ahh how awesome are you? super awesome… lol

    Thanks for the giveaway and really all the funny shit you come up with. I could not get through a whole work day without it 🙂

    Thanks for making work less productive . hahaha

  571. Hoping to get to see you here in Tempe. You’re stopping in just a few miles from my house so we’re doing everything we can to come by that night and get a signed copy in person.

  572. Congratulations on the success of this amazing book, and kicking off the last leg of the book tour. I was so upset I wasn’t able to come see you when you were in Annapolis, MD.

  574. I would so love a copy of your book! I haven’t been able to get it for sad sad financial reasons, so a free one would take care of that completely!

    You should come to SLC, UT (otherwise known as SL,UT <– see what I did there? the irony? no? awwww shucks!). I know a non-zero number of people who would LURVE to come see you!

  575. Because you wear curlers with class, gift your husband with temporary exotic pets, and are always a shining light, I promise to read portions of your book to my undergraduate students each week if I can find appropriate passages. They need your wisdom!

  576. WantWantWantWantWantWantWantWantWantWantWant! (It goes to 11.) And congratulations on everything you’ve achieved! I was not able to make your one local tour stop earlier due to work, but would love something autographed by a person who’s made me actually LOL more than anyone else I can think of since discovering your blog thanks to Wil!

  577. If I bring my iPad to the Minnesota signing with a page of your book as background, will you sign it? Please??

  579. I’m glad the book is still doing so well. It definitely deserves it. If I’m lucky enough to be randomly chosen I’d love the audio book. Enjoy the last tour!

  580. I would love a copy of your book! Congrats on your accomplishment, you’ve earned it!

  581. I have never laughed so much reading a book until I read your’s. I’ve been passing it around to everyone at work. Thank you for this book! I will soon be buying one of your beyonce’s to put in my new house. 🙂

  583. Thank you for showing “crazy” is okay, thankyouverymuch! Our book club read your book as last month’s selection and thought it was the perfect fun summer read. We also think Victor is a saint, made up, or in denial. Could go any of those ways, really… But, since my folks are moving into the Hill Country area now, if I ever hope to have an accidental celebrity run-in, I’ll need to frequent the odd antique shops that are everywhere, particularly if they sell dead stuffed things.

    Thanks for the gift of you and happy writing #2! (The book, that is, not… well… you know!!)

  585. Oooooh! Pick me, pick me! I’ve been relatively good today and everything.

  587. Your book has been an inspiration for me. Thank you for being such a bad ass.

  588. Greetings! Am currently working inside of a large tent that seats over 2,000 people with a show that has 49 stallions and numerous very talented acrobats…would adore to see you in in person at some point…
    your stories are such great comic relief..thank you!

  589. I’d just die of happiness if I had an autographed British version of your book. Then come back as a zombie because I have to read it. But if I die of happiness I’d be a happy zombie! So it’s all pretty great in the end! And I’d read it every single day since it’s that kind of amazing.

    Thanks for giving us this opportunity! 🙂

  590. I would love to win a copy! I’ve been wanting to read it, but big car repairs meant we have no spare cash right now. 🙁

  591. I would LOVE your audio book! My husband got me the actual book for my birthday, and I devoured it quickly. I love reading your creations! You are just so smart, funny, and REAL, and I wish I knew you in real life so we could be friends. Brava on all you have accomplished! 🙂

  592. You make me happy every time I read one of your blog entries or reread your book. Yes, I would certainly love to win a copy, so I’d be sure to not freak out when they didn’t return my other copy. I wish you safe travels and continued success! You certainly deserve it! 🙂

  593. The audio version would be so awesome because I can only read so much at a time. I start laughing so hard that I can’t see from the tears of laughter and have to stop. Although the British cover would be super cool to have too.

  595. Love your blog. Congrats on the success of your book. Wish your tour brought you through Detroit. 🙂

  596. I adore your book, pre-ordered it and read it within a day or so, loved!! I would be in heaven to hear your voice telling the stories that made me giggle so.

  598. So sorry you won’t be coming to the Kansas City area – but I do rave about your book any chance I get. Stay strong, and thank you for the Red Dress phenomena, I just bought a red dress I am offering for others to wear.

  599. When you came through the Washington DC area, I was in the middle of projects for school and was not able to attend any of your book signings. I cried for days and days. My sister was able to see you in North Carolina and she holds that over my head when ever she gets the chance. I would love to a signed British Version to hold over HER head … or a signed American version. Which ever one you could spare for a poor starving student.

  600. I would LOVE a copy of the UK version! I already have a copy of the American version and the audio book (preordered both through Amazon) but the UK version has a GREAT cover 🙂

  601. I would LOVE a copy of the British version (being Canadian, and all). I’d try to be all witty and whatnot, but I’m the 560th (or thereabouts) comment, and you’ve probaby stopped reading them at this point, so: congratulations on your book. Well deserved success.

  603. I was very sad to miss you when you came to NY, but alas, a signed copy would be great!

  605. I would LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE a hard copy, have the Kindle version! The only thing I would like better would be part-shares in Hunter S. Thomcat – preferably the part-share that involves no hairballs, but beggars can’t be choosers.

  606. Congrats on the success of your book! I own the kindle version, but would love to have a signed copy! 🙂

  611. This tour must be so exciting/nerve-wracking! I went to see you in Brookline and the room was so crowded I couldn’t get in! (My sister’s fault, not mine, that we weren’t very early… but we weren’t at all late, either!)

    Anyways, congrats on all your success!

  612. Your book is on my reading list. I’d really REALLY love to win the book because I am pretty cheap, and the idea of a signed copy would make a dream come true (American Version please)

  615. I love your blog and cannot wait to read your book – it is on my list. I have a sister that has mental health issues, and reading your posts helps me deal with her day to day. Thank you so much! I’m sure the book will help wonders!

    Truly,
    Jennifer T.

  616. Ooh, I’d love to get an autographed copy for my wife – she already has it, but an autographed one would be so much better! Congrats on doing so well, but we’re not surprised, as we’re both fans.

  617. I tried reading your book in bed at night but my husband got ticked when I kept laughing out loud. Then since he was awake, I had to read parts to him. Not the best time to make new fans!

  618. A couple of my friends have read your book and laughed the entire time. I’m getting married at the end of August and would love to read over my honeymoon… either with a copy from you or I’ll go pick one up myself. Congrats on the success of your book!

  620. Jenny,
    You inspired me to start up my own blog months & months ago. But I gave up. How do you do it, woman?? At least I haven’t given up on reading yours!

  622. I already nearly killed myself laughing reading your book on my Kindle, and would treasure forever an audio CD book version, so I could hear your dulcet tones telling tales of dead squirrels.

  625. I love reading the stories of your life and would love a copy of your book. 🙂

  627. Thank you for the chance of winning a copy of your book! If I am picked I would love to listen to the audiobook. Thanks again!

  628. Oh man, I’d love a copy of the book for my friend, she just got out of the hyperbaric chamber. She needs a pick me up!

  630. From one Texan to another… You should totally send me a copy of your book. When I first found your blog, I was reading through some posts, laughing SO HARD! My husband was all, wtf, woman? So I just told him he needed to read it too. He laughed, but I think still just thought I was nuts. Then again, probably pretty accurate.

  631. I’m so excited to see you in San Diego I keep capslocking about it to my boss.
    Who is now deathly frightened that she is going to come into work and have her office be filled with taxidermied chinchillas.

  632. Best wishes for Toronto!!!

    I live in the same province (Ontario), but I’m still 1400 km away. Boo!!!! Darn gargantuan provinces anyway!! (Texas would fit into Ontario THREE times – gah!)

  633. Oh my, you poor thing. Having to read through 600 + comments to give away the books! I want to buy one now, just to help ease the pain. One question….is the British version written in English and the American version written in American? English and American seem to be two totally different languages these days.

  634. I’d love to win a copy too. What more could a girl wish for the Olympics in her home town and a signed copy of your book to cherish!

  635. Wish I had made it to see you when you were in Maryland…damn anxiety. I attempted to talk my boyfriend into driving me to Canada and then forcing me into the signing with xanax…no luck. He also won’t buy me a pony though so what should I expect. At least I have my signed bookplate! 🙂

  637. I ruined the motherfucking souffle last night (true story-don’t put flax seed in a souffle-it’s more wrong than Emeril the sitcom), so an autographed book would make me feel better.

  638. I loaned my copy to a friend and I don’t think she will ever give it back!

  641. So happy you are finally making it over to the west coast!!!! Im in Seattle, hoping Ill be able to make it to one of your signings.

  644. I already have your book, but would love a signed copy. You can make it out to, “Wonderbutt’s Mom, the illustrious Mrs. Cap’n Firepants, collector of killer mattresses, maladroit medics, and fashion faux pas.”

  645. I’d love to win a copy of your book since you’re not coming to my area of Canada

  646. A recent fan – someone sent me the link to your site after I attempted to convince my husband that we needed a 12 foot metal chicken in our yard. Alas, I could not fit it in our car so we have no Beyoncé II for our neighbors to admire. Sigh.

  647. I wish you were coming to Indianapolis! Seriously – we have way more interesting stuff going on Aug 15-17 than Portland or Seattle. Just saying. Wil’s gonna be here and everything.

  650. I’d love a hard copy, read it on my Kindle – it was fabulous, except I couldn’t see the pictures very well, and I’m sure they were hilarious! If I win, I’ll get it double autographed when I see you in Denver! YAY

  651. Thank you for writing it. Please write another! I laughed so much. Also after I finished it I messaged you on twitter to let you know how much it meant to not feel like I was the only crazy person who had to go hide in the bathroom and you responded, it was really cool of you to do that. So thanks again!

  653. I would love to win any version. Though, I do feel a bit British at heart. I won’t throw any of them in the bin.

  654. I’d love an autographed hard copy. Listening to the audiobook now. Had to have it because YOU did the voice over. The DH & I wanna see the pictures. Even if I don’t win, could I get a hard copy & mail to you (w/postage for the return) for an autograph? Is that a rude thing to ask?

  655. I would love to win a copy! I saw you at BEA (Book Blogger’s Conference) and your speech had me both laughing so hard I cried and actually crying. Thank you so much for this opportunity!
    Grace

  656. I started following you back when you wrote about meeting Neil Gaiman at w00tstock! I’ve been a follower and fan of Gaiman’s for decades. And I am a fan of w00tstock (Paul and Storm, Adam Savage, Wil Wheaton and most of the acts they have booked). I’m now a fan and follower of yours.

    There is a force in the universe, I like to call, “The Confluence of Awesome.” It’s like the six degrees of separation in reverse. Or maybe it’s like “The Force,” in Star Wars. This theory states that All the people you think are Awesome eventually cross paths, or you will feel a profound need to make that happen and bring them together. It’s the some force that makes people set up their friends on blind dates. So it’s not always a force for good.

    I put your book on my Amazon Wish List. http://www.amazon.com/Lets-Pretend-This-Never-Happened/dp/0399159010/ I will pick it up when I can afford it. (Either when it comes out in paperback or a used copy goes up that I can afford comes up. ) That won’t be too long.

    This is my roundabout way of saying that I think you are awesome. And I hope you get a chance to meet Laurie Anderson, Molly Lewis, Marian Call, Jules Sherred, Maria Bamford, Regina Spektor, Jackie Kashian, Mary Jo Pehl, Jade Gordon and the Fabulous Lorraine Garland soon. My guess is several of these women have crossed your path already. All are Awesome too. And to prove my theory right, whatever force governs the “Confluence of Awesome” should have you crossing paths with them sometime soon.

    Did you hear about Wil Wheaton’s birthday party? THAT was a manifestation of “The Confluence.” One you know about “The Confluence of Awesome,” you won’t be able to stop recognizing when it happens.

  657. I bought the book, but would love the CD—I could then listen to it as I walk—love your writing!!!

  658. I’m reading your book now and absolutely LOVE it! It never fails to make me laugh out loud on every page.

  659. I’ve never commented before, but I’ve spent many (re: all) hours at work combing through your archives after reading your book. It was a much needed break in my own storm of depression. When my bipolar lows start to dip I now have a much needed outlet. Thank you for putting all of your craziness together. I’ve read it twice now and peed a little from laughing more times than I can count.

  660. I absolutely loved your book! I really want to get it on audio so I can hear you read it 🙂

  661. I’ve heard nothing but good things, so many that I fear I’ll be waiting forever for a copy from the library.

  662. I would love to win a copy of your book. I recently graduated from college and have had a hard time finding a job. I can’t afford to buy it for myself (otherwise I would have).

    I am glad you are coming to the Portland area. I am definitely working on getting there. 🙂

  665. Oh, yes. An autographed copy would make my sister pee her pants. And, as a big brother, that’s what I live for.

  667. You are an inspiration in a world where the world seems to get worse every day. Bringing joy to people is the only way I know how to offset the depression that threatens to creep back in every so often and obviously that doesn’t always work. I’m a senior in college near Austin and I have no clue what I’m going to do with my life. All I want is to inspire others and make the world a bit better. You’re one of my role models and my life has been forever changed for the better because of you, your blog, your cats, and your various purchases (I even got a metal lawn peacock in honor of Beyonce; his name is Penelope).

    Have a beautiful day, I’m terribly sad to not have been able to make it to the Austin book signing but I had class and could not miss it under penalty of failing…I hope you’ll be back around soon.

    love and hugs,
    Alex

  668. Just wanted to say how awesome I think your books is. Looking forward to a sequel.

  670. I never thought I’d thank someone for making me pee my pants but here goes:
    Thank you for making me laugh so hard I peed my pants! 🙂

  671. I found out about your book about a week after you visited Northern California, and I keep hearing from friends about how funny it is.

  672. Jenny, I’d tell ya I love ya anyway, but I’d love a copy of the audio book! Having heard you read portions of it (twice now!), I can only imagine how many boxes of kleenex I’d need to wipe away the screaming tears of laughter. :p

  674. SO cool – I gave your book to a friend recovering from surgery. Luckily (for her) she waited to read it until she was pretty well recovered, ’cause some stitches surely would have exploded had she embarked on the journey earlier! Then she called her daughter over and they both fell off their chairs laughing….she said she hadn’t laughed like that in years. THAT is what it’s all about!

  675. won’t be able to make it out to Toronto unfortunately… would dearly love a copy 🙂

  678. I would love to win a copy of your book!! I don’t live anywhere near any of the stops so I can’t make it…

  679. Audio. I already have the pics, which makes me a selfish bitch because someone should win that doesn’t have it already.
    Sincerely,
    Selfish Bitch

  680. Congrats! Would love to win the audiobook, because I didn’t *quite* asphyxiate with laughter reading the hard copy myself and I think hearing you read it would give me that one final push. 😀

  681. I really want to read your book! Just yesterday I found a taxidermist’s shop on Main Street in a nearby town (to me, not to you, although maybe you have one close by?) I was looking at a white lynx and a big stag with a t-pin in his lip and thinking of you.
    Cheers,
    DJL

  682. Jenny you’re more inspiring than a hug from a sloth. Keep up the ridiculous writing and I’ll keep reading. I adore your unique style and I’m not just saying this to get an audio tape 🙂

  684. I don’t NEED an autographed copy, but we all know there is a huge chasm between NEED and WANT. That said, I would put you on the same shelf as Kenneth Branagh and John Houseman, Lorrie Moore and John Fowles. You would be in very good company.

  686. I love my book, would love an audio copy though! I can’t imagine how it must be coming straight from your mouth. I laugh hard enough just reading it. 🙂

  687. I’d love to listen to you read, it was an awesome read on an airplane. and by awesome I mean I looked like a crazy person as I laughed loudly. and by looked like a crazy person I mean it let people know how I normally am

  689. I am really hoping to make it to your Portland appearance! Thanks for coming out to our side of the country. I’ve already listened to your audio book, but would love the American hard copy as well! 🙂

  693. I do so wish that I lived near any of the tour cities! I’d love the audio cd. I’ve already read the book but fantasize about laughing like a mad person while working out at the gym while others look on bewildered.

  694. I laugh the hardest during my daily reads of your blog. Thanks so much for sharing and making my day a lot brighter!

  696. I loved your book. I was laughing so hard about the squirrel puppet that I was crying.

  698. My boyfriend and I are both really interested in reading your book, but we haven’t gotten a chance to buy a copy yet. Our first anniversary is coming up in just under a month, and I think, “what better gift could I get him than a signed copy of this book?!”

  699. I would LOVE a copy of the audio book! I am waiting very patiently until my next month’s paycheck so I am allowed more books & can buy yours for my nook.

    You are one of the best bloggers/writers out there, and I look forward to reading along as you continue on this path. I get so excited when my RSS feed notifies me you have a new post on your site! The support you have is all because of the kind, open, and generous person you are. You encourage us all to be a little more vulnerable so that we can be open to just a bit more happiness. It’s nothing to sniff at.

  701. I just got my copy (via Amazon.com) in the mail last week! Can’t wait to read it 🙂

  702. I love your book and your blog. Thanks for making me laugh! Congratulations on your success.

  704. I adore you, and I loved your book – you help people get through life every. single. day.

    So, I think we should be thanking YOU.

  705. Can’t wait to see you in Portland! It’s been on my calendar since the moment you announced it. In ink.

  707. I still haven’t gotten your book, so i am not one of the people you should thank, but I’m going to thank you. You are such an inspiration to be awesome and be yourself and just be. I mean life handed you shitty thing and after shitty thing and you took the knocks and said “knock knock mother fucker”. You’re my hero. You have no idea. I wish you would come to philly so i could hide in the back and cry and then run away without a signature but know in my heart i was there to see you. You are awesome, so thanks. Crying at work again – you owe me the book 😉

  708. Thanks for all the goofy/awesome times, Jenny. Keep up the great work!

  709. So excited you are coming to Portland!
    So sad we will not be in town when you are coming to Portland….

    My first exposure to you was my wife reading to me about the monkey hands. A shirt while later, I got to read your blog post about the travelling red dress. I have had lots of mini battles with depressing, confidence, body image. Your blog gives me joy, hope, comraderie. Thank you.

    Would love an opportunity to win a book to give to my wife. Barring that, I need to contact Arizona after the mortgage is paid…

    Rock on sister!

  710. I’d love a physical copy of your book! It’s on my list of things to reward myself with once I finish writing this loooong paper, but that’s very far away and luck doesn’t count, right? I was trying to look up a fitting saying but I have no idea what horses or their shoes have to do with it.

  711. I would love to win a copy of your book! I always laugh out loud while reading your blog, and my family has come to accept spurts of poorly hidden giggles from the couch when I have my laptop out.

  712. I would absolutly love an american copy of your book. The ladies at work and I think you are hilarious. and actually we have a framed picture of your metal chicken hanging in our office. Wish I could have made one of your book signings. Stay awesomely different!

  713. Do you read the British version in a British accent? Cuz I totally want that if you do.

  714. Ohhh, free stuff. I’m in! I have the Kindle version but would love the UK version because the cover is awesome!

  715. I won’t be able to make it to any of your appearances 🙁 guess I’ll have to wait for the next tour. love you, love your book. stay safe!

  716. Congratulations on your sucess. It’s much deserved. I would love any version. Your blog has given me some much needed giggles these last few weeks.

  717. I missed your Maryland visits because it’s illegal to leave preschoolers home alone. It I win a copy of your book it will be so much easier to prove to my book club that we need another non-fiction selection. Pick me, pick me!

  720. LOVED your book. Not enough words to tell you how much I connected to it. No pressure for the next one, but I am anxiously waiting…….

  721. I would love to win a copy of the book, simply because I could then give my copy away to someone else and bring your words to someone who doesn’t know them. I found your book inspiring, funny, and real. I wish I could meet you in person, I do, but you haven’t come close enough to my hometown. Maybe one day! Be safe on your journey!

  722. Last week I had a terrible spiral into depression… your blog got me through. Depression Lies. I hadn’t heard that until you, and that was what i clung to when i started to think the world would be better off without me.

  723. Would love copy of the British edition, especially since my book money jar is empty and I am chewing my nails to get some funds to buy your book… and your love of taxidermy reminds me of the “Squirrel people” from Christopher Moore’s Dirty Job, which gives you special kudo points in my heart…

  724. You should drop by Halifax while you’re visiting Toronto. They’re really close together. Honest! Okay, it’s a 20 hour drive. Very scenic, though. Love your blog and would love to have a copy of the book. Thanks!

  725. I read your book on holiday in Tenerife & it made my holiday! I live in Scotland & so had a bit of trouble with the heat as not used to it at all. Would love an Audio version of the book, pretty please x

  726. Meee!! Pick me!! I can’t afford a copy…and it’s driving me cah-ray-zee!!

  728. So excited you’ll be visiting Denver! I was afraid you wouldn’t make it here!!

    (Also – Like many others, I am patiently waiting on the hold list at the library for your book… Everyone loves you!)

  730. the best part about your book was how perturbed my husband was that i kept randomly laughing out loud while reading it. if you gave me a signed copy, i would put you on the shelf next to my signed Isabel Allende books. and then i’d let someone borrow my unsigned copy, which would dramatically increase happiness in the world.

  731. I love you book to the point of sharing my copy with my HR lead. We have spent many lunch breaks giggling at all the HR moments we have shared. I would love to win another copy so I can spread the shenanigans.

  732. Would love the British version. You need to tell people that there’s a bonus chapter on the audio version. And I loved the sound booth ramblings at the end.

  733. Just finished reading the book. I spent the last few nights laughing, crying and reading outloud to anyone who was in the room … or the universe if I was alone in the room. A signed copy would mean I have your exceptionally valuable autograph, and will be able to share the one I paid for with friends and relatives (who didn’t hear my personal audio version because they were asleep … or in another town)!

  734. Congratulations on your great success! This is a testament to your unorthodox humor which seems perfectly normal to the rest of us 🙂

    Thank you for sharing all your great thoughts with us!
    Parul

  736. Would love an audiobook! Every time I read your writing, you light up my day Jenny 🙂

  737. I was an hour late to post. Bummer.

    Here is why I would love a signed copy:

    You will come to Minneapolis the weekend that I have to go to my inlaws cabin, and watch my four kids, around water, while everyone else talks to each other, and behind my back.

    I win.

  738. I’d love a copy of your book autographed by the one and only you! You are hilarious, witty, and inspiring!

  739. Unfortunately you are not coming close enough on your tour for me to get to meet you. But know that I am doing me part to keep you on that bestseller list. So far I have bought 5 copies for friends and family. I am thinking of starting to hand them out to depressed strangers on the street.
    Thanks for making us laugh and thus making us sane(r)!

    ~Emily

  741. Best vacation book I’ve ever bought… read it during a week in Amsterdam, and I was always just drunk/hungover enough while reading to be moved to tears (laughing and sad) by your stories. While reading at bedtime one night, your acupuncture story and your vulture/digging up the dog story had me wheezing with silent shrieks of hilarity, trying not to disturb my poor friend in the bed next to me. Solid gold. I’ve recommended it to about a dozen people already. Would love a signed copy!

  743. Jenny, I’ve read the book myself (loved it!), I would love to have an audio copy to listen to you read it. Hopefully I’ll be able to catch you when you come to Denver! yay!

  744. I would love to win a hard-copy — I have the Nook version (and loved it) but would love a hold-in-your-hand copy 🙂

    Congratulations on your success!!!

    – J

  746. I would LOVE the British version autographed is possible. And you shouldn’t be surprised it’s a best seller – you are so amazingly talented and funny. I have the e-version of this book but can’t wait to get my hands on an autographed copy. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your life and laughter with us.

  748. Nice to see you are coming to Ontario, but it should have been Ottawa, not Toronto! Ottawa is where it is at.

  749. I LOVE reading your stuff, and I would love to have a signed copy of your book. Could Hunter S. Thomcat, sign it too? I’m his biggest fan…

  752. I adored the book and you success is well deserved. I have even read edited parts of it and the blog to my 9 and 11 year old children and they roll on the floor laughing. It is comforting for them to know that they are in Double Unicorn Success Club even when they are feeling stabby. Sadly our weird conversations about these things in grocery stores tend to scare the very old and the very young. Also could you ask Copernicus to stop crank calling my son — its making him feel stabby.

  754. DONT YOU DARE send me a signed copy of your book! I’d rather get it in person when I can thank you for inspiring me to write. I’ve always wanted to write but never committed to the first step. (You know, actually putting words down and then coming back continuously to add more words.). I will give you a signed copy of my first book in a few years though. Deal?

  755. I would love to win an American version, although I am in Canada. Alternatively, I would love to win a British version, although I am in Canada.

  757. JENNY YOU ROCK!!!!! I have your book, and would love another one, but you MUST KNOW that YOU ROCK!!!! I’m hoping that I get to come to your book signing in Denver, but it’s the 1st day of school for my kids and I have work….blah….blah……FREAKIN BLAH.
    Also wanted to let you know that you have inspired me to start writing about my crazy life 🙂 So THANK YOU!!!

    What the hell am I suppose to put in the “website” box???? It’s highlighted in RED and freakin me out a little bit – should I make-up a website??? Can I just hit “submit”?? Will you get this??? OH MY GOD the question’s…..here I go…..SUBMITTTTTTTT

  758. Congratulations on your success, it is well deserved. I still laugh every thing I think of “helping hand jobs”.

  759. Pick me! Pick me! It was my birthday yesterday, and I would love a copy of the audio cd!

  760. This comment is to thank you for the laughing, snorting, crying, can’t breathe session my BFF and I had over the Beyonce’ entry…it was SO us. Have an extra-bizarre trip!

  761. Your my superwoman. (:
    (on a more serious note, I read your super woman blog post after being in the hospital for a week from toxic shock that almost killed me. I told some of my family if they ever had to make funeral arrangements for me, I want something awesome like that.)
    Thank You!

  762. I have the American version so I’d love the British one! No pressure or anything, but have you started on the next book yet?

  763. If you are reading the audio version…then I simply must get the audiobook!

    My co-worker and I have taken a day off work so we can drive down and see you in seattle! We are super excited! Besides it gives us an excuse to go shopping!

    T

  764. You’ll be in my town on my anniversary. I have two weeks to turn my husband into a fan willing to spend his anniversary at a book signing; I don’t think it’ll be that hard. 🙂

  765. good luck on the tour! Toronto better treat you right so that you come to more Canadian cities in the future 🙂 I would love a UK version signed. Thank you for sharing your humour and your experiences with us and for making people like me feel less crazy and less alone.

  766. Sadly, I’ve been too broke to buy a book, but happy there may be a slight chance I will finally get to read it (if I win)!.

  767. Jenny, your book made me laugh out loud! The only problem was that I couldn’t read what was so funny out loud for my husband to enjoy also as there were little ears listening. Thanks for sharing! Can’t wait for book #2!!

  768. I have your book electronically and ADORE it but would love a signed hard copy to keep 🙂 I promise I will be nicer to children, and old people if I get one! Or at least try my very best.

  770. I shall wave to you from across Lake Ontario when you are in Toronto! Well, I’ll face north and we will have to pretend since I’m not really all that close to the shoreline. Its a pretty big lake anyway, not like you can see Rochester from there unless you look really hard and have binoculars and are pretty much way out on the water. It is the thought that counts, though and I WILL wave. 🙂 Have fun in Canada, my Pop’s home country!

  775. I would love the British version as I have a propensity to add a “u” to words like colour and behaviour even though I have never even been out of the US.

  776. Depends what your signature really looks like. I wouldn’t want people to find out that copy I have was actually faked by writing with my left hand, with my eyes closed…wait? Can I claim I didn’t know it was fake if I didn’t actually ‘see’ me write it?

  777. I really just wanted to say that I think you are awesomely brillant. You are a very strong woman that puts everything out there, and dares anyone to say anything. If the whole world was more like you, we would live in a much better place. We all have issues and we deal…that’s life. But you are a perfectly picked bouquet for the souls of all of us that frequently visit the “Dark Side”. So thank you so much for being you, and sharing yourself with all of us.

  779. That’s very kind of you Nice Lady! This is my entry hoping for a signed copy to give to my good wife.
    BREAK A LEG, or a finger, or whatever it is you writers break.

  780. I would LOVE any of the copies! I have yet to read it and I am dying to get my hands on a copy!

  781. can’t wait til you can get back to blogging…. a new article would miraculously pop up just when i happened to need it……..

  782. I would love to get a copy of your book! Tough choice on audio vs. hard copy though.

  783. Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease pick me!! I pre-ordered your book in January, patiently waited until April, it arrived from Amazon a day after it came out, I had the sticker with your signature, which I promply, proudly put on the title page (almost as if you’d signed it yourself originally, or so I convinced myself) and was so excited to read it… I took it on the Acela train from Boston to CT when visiting friends, and apparently, I left it on the train in my haste to not miss my stop. 🙁 I was so sad that I’ve been stalking the train stations in Boston and DC weekly hoping that the book will turn up… I would be so happy to get another copy, signed for real!!!! Thank you so much!!!

    Ps, I’ll still heart you and read even if you dont pick me. But, (i may be biased) I really think you should pick me!

  784. I got the ebook from Amazon and at points laughed so loud our dogs became concerned for my safety/sanity. Thank you.

  786. Dear Jenny. I bought your book as a gift for a friend. Mostly because you reminded me of this friend. Both of you are sensitive, kind hearted and witty. I would love my own copy of your book. A signed copy would be an absolute treasure. Thank you.

  787. I’d love a copy of the British edition, as I love your column with the fire of a thousand suns, but my redundancy money is getting a bit low now and I’m having to be careful about what I spend 🙂
    Thank you for your videos and posts on how you tackle depression. It’s inspiring to see we’re not alone in this, and that you can have your struggles with it and still come through and be amazing.
    *hearts*

  788. Loved your book! The only thing that could make it better, would be to win a copy of the audio cd to hear you reading it 🙂

  790. I’d love a signed copy of your book…because 1. I’d love to read it, but am too lazy to go check it out from the library, and 2. Am kind of cheap, so I don’t really want to buy it just to read it once. I’m going for honestly points here. Also, your blog is a great way I’ve used to connect with the college students I work with. They love Victor especially. Perhaps Victor should sign the book too…

  791. I am so happy for you!! Your book is amazing and it deserves all the success!! Also, I would love to win a signed copy…does the British version have an accent? Cuz that would be awesome!! 🙂 Congrats on everything!!

  792. I would love to win a signed copy of your book (US.)! I was pretty pissed at the world when I found out I couldn’t make the book signing in Toronto. My stupid job always gets in the way of fun 🙁

  793. I would love to have the audio cd! I’ve read so many of your posts to my husband and said “she’s just like me!!” Like the Snoopy Sno Cone maker, I wanted one of those SOOOOO much when I was little — never got one. Also, my husband is an electrician and when he was out of town several years ago, a fuse blew. He tried to tell me what to do over the phone; I just lived the next few days with only a partially lit house…

  794. In all honesty I’ve read over half of the book ….and I’m scared to keep reading it because then it’ll be over and I will have no idea what the hell to do with myself, nor will I have such an amazing source of entertainment to get me through those really shitty days. Then again, I could just read it 12, or maybe 43 more times..(and I’m not just saying that so I can get a signed copy, or maybe I am. I’d like 5 copies please and thanks).

  795. I bought your book shortly after it came out, and I’ve read a few chapters. I have laughed, cried, and nearly peed myself. I have also had several people buy your book on my recommendation. However, I feel like I will never finish your book because I have 2 small children (2 and almost 5 months) and I’m in school full time set to graduate in December. I’m hoping to get a job in PR, mostly so I can show guys pictures of their penis-es (penisis? peni?) that they’ve emailed to people. Anyways, I would LOVE to get a CD Audio copy of the book so I can listen to it on my way to and from school. Plus, as I already imagine your voice reading the book in my head, it would be BAD ASS to hear you actually read it!!

  796. Your book provided me and my family some much needed laughs during a very sad time. I have since read it twice more and I continue to laugh each time. Thank you for sharing your story 🙂

  798. You deserve every single bit of this success! Good things come to good people and ours about damn time the universe started to see your awesomeness!

    I would love to have a signed copy of your book or the audio book. You could sign a dirty sock and send it to me for all I care! I’d be super excited to have anything that you’ve autographed! You could sign H.S.T and send him to, just sayin… 🙂

  799. At our last book club meeting we discussed Let’s Pretend…
    One of our members asked if anyone in our group would like to have you as a friend, which I thought was a great question.
    I was the only one who said yes (I’m drawn to eccentric people and I’ve been entranced with you since my first blog read of yours, which happened to be the one about Beyonce).
    You had me at “shiv.”
    I’d love to be chosen but there are probably better missives than minel

  800. I would love to win a hard copy version. I read on my nook. On a plane. Let’s just say laughing so much really pissed off the douchey hipster next to me.

  801. I wish I could have made it to a reading for a signed book. 🙁 I did think of Beyonce while driving around the South the other week because apparently, giant metal chickens are popular down there…Kinda wish the car would have supported one to bring back North!

  803. I’m a sick mom trapped inside with a bored 5 year old. I desperately need something to make me laugh, make me smile so that I don’t pull my hair out. Either of the books would be wonderful!

  804. I’m a new reader (spent three hours reading your blog last night!). I think you are very talented- so real and relatable. I laughed so much, and I can only imagine how great your book is! I would love a copy.
    I’ll be telling all my friends about you…truly great!

  806. OOh – I’d love a British release to complete my collection!
    Or another copy of the American one so that I can send it traveling

  807. I love your blog, so it would be wonderful to read a signed copy of your book. US version please.

  808. I come to your blog a lot when I’m feeling triggered (self-harmer 19 weeks and 3 days since the last time!). I’ll read back posts until I’m feeling better (or laughing so hard that I pee myself a little). It’s a great distraction tool! Keep on rocking and making us out here in internet land smile!

    -the non-famous cher

  809. I would love a copy of your book. You are hilarious and I can’t wait to read it.

  810. Really wish you could make it over to the UK for a signing. One of the castles in England (think it was Warwick) has a 6ft stuffed brown bear holding a tray like a waiter. I would so have taken you there and most likely helped you try and steal it! I probably still even have a photo of it somewhere….

  812. I would love a signed copy of your book. I live in Denmark, and just revisited USA this Spring after living there three years ago. And I didn’t get to buy it, when I was there. I would prefer the American version, but British would also do nicely 🙂

    And congratulations with all the success you’ve had with the book. You deserve it!

    Love AB

  813. I never win anything. Well, one time I won a gag gift of a hideous creamer and sugar bowl. Someone stole it from me in the gift giving swap (I was glad, but got something equally as stupid in return). My dear husband, who after 41 years of marriage STILL does not know me, stole the creamer and sugar bowl back, thinking I LIKED it. Sweet, dear, just sweet. 🙂

  814. How I wish I could have been/be at one of your book signings. Alaska didn’t make the cut. You deserve all this success and continue to inspire me and remind me I’m not alone. I’m willing to take whatever you sign (books, tshirts, unicorns, etc) to put on the shrine I have to all things awesome. Well….it’s also known as my bookshelf but that’s a story for another time.

  815. I have mine on my Nook. I loved your book, made me laugh and cry. I would love to have an autographed hardback copy.

  817. If i won the audio version of your book I promise to take pictures of all the crazy looks people would give me when they see me laughing like a maniac alone in my car whillst I listen.

  818. I think you are pretty damn awesome!! It would make me very happy to get the american version… 🙂

  819. Will be attempting to go to the signing in Minnesota. I suppose I can drag the brood along with me. Wouldn’t that be an adventure.

  820. I would love to win this giveaway, but I’m just psyched you’re coming to the PNW so I can’t complain even if I don’t get picked 😀

  821. I bought the Kindle version of your book last week. Laughed until I cried. I would love to have a hard copy. But in any event, I I just wanted you to know how much I loved it and can’t wait for the next one.

  822. Love your blog and would love a copy of the audiobook to listen at work.

  823. I totally missed the weekend you were in Chicago, but it’s awesome to hear how great the book is doing. Hope that keeps up for a long while yet.

  824. If it wisnae for your welly’s…where would you be? You’d be in the hospital or infirmary….

    I await my copy with no small amount of glee.

    Potato chip!

  825. Yes! One giveaway entry for me, please! And can I suggest a grand prize of mini beyonce with your signature on her butt?

    Will try to be at one of the Seattle signings!

  826. I would love a signed copy, if for no other reason than to be able to stop contributing to my 401K and just sell my copy before retiring comfortably. And I enjoyed this blog, though I was disappointed when I clicked the “Click here for dates” link. Let’s just say I’ll stick with eHarmony for my online match-making. Totally misleading.

  827. Of all the times you decide to come to Phoenix – and in the summer no less — I will be out of town. I am beyond bummed. Absolutely LOVED your book. You make my day – every day! Keep it up, girl.

  829. My family was never happier for me to finish a book as when I read the last chapter of yours. They were exhausted from trying to figure out just what insanity I was laughing at and are pretty much convinced that you must be my long lost little sister. (don’t tell my real little sister this. she is quite use to being the middle child and will be really pissed off to find her entire life was based on a lie.)

  830. I got your book from the library but I’d love a copy of my own! I’ve been telling anyone and everyone who’ll listen that they need to read your book. (including Jen from Cake Wrecks!) You made me laugh really hard when I didn’t have a lot to laugh about lately. Thank you!

  831. I will be out of town when you come to Minneapolis! Craaaaaaaaaaap. But congrats on your book’s success!

  832. Yes please, I would love love love a copy of your book, preferably American 🙂

  833. I’ve read the book already, but I think hearing it in your own voice will make it that much funnier. I’m putting my name in your hat to get an audiobook copy.
    Keeping my fingers, toes, hair and other unmentionable parts crossed.

  834. I would love to win this! I wish I could be there to see you when you come to Denver, but I have a sick kiddo, so I won’t be able to make it. I’d love a chance to win it though!

  836. “Let’s Pretend …” remains on the best seller list because you wrote an extremely funny book. The stories are well told, engaging, and often scream-out-loud hysterical. Elements of it are quite touching. I have no need for another signed copy of this work. If this comment wins, donate it to someone else. However, if there is a queue to join to buy the NEXT thing you write, please add me to it.

  837. You are the funniest writer I have ever read, and I’m dying to get a copy of your book. Due to our family recently adopting, funds are low. So getting a free copy would be the icing on the cake!

  840. I’m heartbroken that you never got close enough to the Tampa Bay area for me to see you, but a signed book would go a long way toward stitching my blood pump back together. Congrats on your well earned and massive success!

  841. I would love a copy of the book, but simply haven’t had the money to buy it. Would absolutely love a signed copy if I get picked.

  842. CANNOT WAIT to meet you in Toronto Jenn! Missed you at the BBC due to a sick cat and was crestfallen. So you’ve made my month!
    See you next week with a case of books to sign!
    Rhiannon

  844. I’d love a hard copy of the UK version since I already have the US version and the audio version and I have given it away 2 copies so far as birthday gifts. I also used to live in San Angelo!

  846. I would love to be able to listen to your book in the car and/or share your awesomeness with my husband who never reads anything longer than a facebook post. I love you, Jenny!

  848. Thought I would add my name into the hat of possible winners 🙂 Definitely want to read your book bc your blog makes me laugh out loud.

  849. I am so happy that the book is doing well for you. You certainly deserve it!

  851. What!?!?!?!? You are coming to Canada but not to Winnipeg!!!! Please, please add us to your schedule!!!!

    As a consolation prize though I would take a copy of you audio book but it will be a far distant second place to having you sign my copy of your book!!!! 🙁

  852. I love your book! I hope you will write another one and with a bit of luck it won’t take 10 years 🙂
    Marta C

  854. I never comment but I read you every time you put something out …. so when I got my new kindle natually the first book I bought was your book. I’ve never laughed so hard in my life. Your amazing and I wanna be just like you when I grow up (I’m 31). Thank you and congradulations!

  858. I would love the audio version so I can enjoy the book in the car…because reading and driving at the same time is discouraged.

  859. It was Hamlet von Schnitzel’s picture that made me pick up the book, but it was your knack for finding humor in the weirdest and saddest moments in life that kept me from putting it down. I’m also now slightly obsessed with everything you do and hope to one day find a Jefferson Peabody of my very own!

  860. Thank you so much for writing the book! I haven’t laughed that hard in a very long time. I can’t wait for the second one whenever that may be 🙂

  862. I’d love to have a new copy of your book. I took it to the beach and the Atlantic Ocean seemed very attracted to it. I’m left to finish a sandy, warped copy. It just looks well loved.

  863. I would love the audio CD. Then, when I re-read your book, I’ll have your voice in my head. I’ll probably have it in my head when I’m not listening to the CD, but I’ll view that as completely normal.

  865. You get a book! And YOU get a book! AND YOU GET A BOOK!

    …Also, holy Moses! Just over 3 hours and over 800 comments. I’m impressed.

  870. You should extend your book tour to western Canada as well. Namely Calgary, Alberta.

  871. Wish I could see you on the tour, trapped in the southeastern united states and can’t make a tour city. Would love the audio as I have the hard copy but would rather someone who hasn’t gotten to buy the book get a crack at winning it. I was fortunate to preorder it but I know others are not so lucky and I hope someone wonderful gets the book and gets the wonderful experience of reading it. Fellow silver ribbon, Sarah

  873. Oh, oh! Pick me! Pick me! Just finished your masterpiece yesterday and said, out loud as I turned off m’Kindle “well, I’ll be reading that one again!” I’d love to have the actual book for my shelves. Can’t wait for book two!

  874. Reading your book while working out makes the time fly, yet I never read the first two pages of a chapter at the gym, because I don’t want the people around me to see the chapter titles and think I’m a freak. I just flip ahead and reread them later at home. The chapter titles are awesome. They could be in a smaller font size though.

  878. Like so many, I’m going to have to get the audio version of your book -even though I already have the printed copy. So, you’re essentially, once again, encouraging spending. My partner’s disbelief continues …

    Congrats on all of your success, it’s well-earned.

  880. Congrats on the continued success! Going to try my very hardest to make it to a Seattle reading. Would love to win the audio version of the book!

  883. Jenny, I could not be happier for you on the success of your book!
    I loved every minute of it, even the parts that made me cringe a bit!
    My husband was thrilled when I was finished because my cackling laughter was keeping him up at night because he goes to sleep first….which is his own fault really.
    Love you!

  884. Love the book! Found myself laughing outloud! Passing it around to my girlfriends for a shared laugh or two (so I will need another copy of the book!)! thanks!

  885. I’ll be bringing the family to see you in Seattle. My mother has her fingers crossed that you’ll be bringing Jefferson Peabody with you. She’d really like to meet him. And you. And she’s off her meds.

    Hooray! 🙂

  886. As you know, i am a HUGE fan of you and I want to read your new book! I literally cant afford to buy one so winning one would be awesome!!!

  887. The last thing I won, was a cricket bat, at a fair ground, when I was 19. Never won a damn thing since and I’m 69 now! Really, really want the book but can’t afford to buy it, so you can guess that I wont be the one to win it. So, good luck to who ever gets it and……. if you want to swap it for a really old wood rotted cricket bat, you know where I am 🙂

  888. Hi Jenny! Adore your book and feel so pleased to have had the chance to share in your life experiences 🙂
    I’ll probably never see you on tour because I’m down here in bum-feck Australia! I’d love a signed copy of your audio book though, to make up for it 😉

  889. I purchased a copy for my Nook and then had to get a real version so you could sign it. Now, I totally need the Audio version to make my life complete. I’d like a digital Hunter meow signature of approval.

  890. I would love to come to a book signing…still hoping for a Detroit visit. In any case,I would love a copy of the audio version! I have read the book twice already but I want to hear YOU.

  893. I would love a signed copy of your American-version book! And please, one day, come to Philadelphia!

  894. Throwing my crumpled hat into the very crowded ring! I’d love to win a signed copy, because the likelihood of me making it to a signing anywhere is remote. Still, the ebook has brought me tons of laughs and made me nod in agreement so much, the hubby thinks I’m a bobblehead. Thanks for sharing your life with us, and for being so generous in touring and doing giveaways.

    Beth

  896. I would LOVE the audiobook…hearing you read aloud at the signing in Maryland made the book even funnier 🙂

  898. Wow, with the number of comments on this post, your John Hancock seems to be in demand. I just want to say that I wish I could have seen you speak and if you’re in Ukraine in the next four months, shoot me an email. I’d be happy to show you around (after four months, I’ll be in the States again and you’re on your own).

  899. I keep missing you on your tour legs by like a day or two ( I travel for work and you have hit a few places the day before I am there or the day after I leave:<) Thank you for writing this book!

  900. I keep missing you on your tour legs by like a day or two ( I travel for work and you have hit a few places the day before I am there or the day after I leave:<) Thank you for writing this book!

  901. Pick me, pick me, pick me, pick me, pick me. I really want to show off to my friends with an autographed copy of LET’S PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED and the fact that out of anyone in the entire universe, you CHOSE ME!!

  902. I would love love love to have the audio CD. Given how extra-hilarious the book became when you did a reading in Dallas, I need that in my car stereo stat. 🙂

  903. Just found your blog recently and I’d love to win. The book sounds hilarious!

  904. Sorry I missed you when you were in Jersey, I’ll try to make it when you tour for book 2

  906. no no, thank YOU for writing such a marvelous book. I checked out the audio book from the library but have figured out it is safer to listen to it at home with a seat belt rather than listening to it in the car whilst driving.

  907. I’m fairly new to your blog but have quickly come to love it and stop by almost daily for a good laugh 🙂 Congrats on your success, I can’t wait to meet you in Portland and to read your book!

  909. thanks for the opportunity to order a signed copy. i didn’t think i’d be able to get one and it was important to me to have it. <3

  910. I love that you’re still on the best sellers list. <3 I think you should give yourself some credit on the awesome book:)

  911. Thank you, dear one, for bringing so much love and awesome oddness to the world.

  913. I would love the American version! Congrats on your success! I’m currently reading it – my best friend lent the book to me. I’d love to return the new one with the autograph! I love that you say all the things I think. 🙂 I too have conversations with myself and recalculate before saying aloud. 🙂 haha

    Best wishes!

  916. I’ve sent you book to a friend in the UK, loaned a copy to my sister-in-law and sent another copy as a gift to a friend in the DC area. After hearing you read in Brookline, I have no choice but to listen to the audio book at some point.

    Now that you’re on the bestseller list, I get to be all hipster about reading your blog, and point out I was reading it BEFORE the book came out.

    I think I get why you start telling random stories when in public. I do something similar. Instead of telling a story about being stabbed in the face by a serial killer, I start rambling endlessly about brewing beer or some geeky computer related topic. On the topic of beer, my friends have been raving about my Cherry Chocolate Stout, so if you send me a copy of the audio book, I’ll send you some beer.

    Deal?

  917. I would love to have an audio version! You are an inspiration to so many (including me). Wish you could make it to Iowa, I would totally come see you!

  918. Congrats on the success of your book 😀 I’m still waiting for you to come to Vancouver!

  919. Oh, thank YOU! Thank you for your wonderful observations about the world. And yes, I kind of regret buying the electronic version instead of the hard copy….

  921. I would love to receive whatever you feel like signing. My medication is about to run out and I’d welcome the distraction.

  922. ooh ooh I would love another copy of your book. Then I won’t have to share it with my hubby!

  924. I’ve been afraid to read your book : ever since I gave birth, I pee when I laugh, or cry, hard. Oh well.

  925. would love a copy. it would be great to lay in bed giggling at your writing. instead of in front of my computer.

  927. I would absolutely love your audiobook, that would be incredible. I am currently reading your book, sadly it was loaned to me by my boyfriend as I cannot afford my own, but I’d LOVE to be able to actually hear you saying all the things that make me giggle my knickers off. I’ve also heard of your infamous bloopers and cannot help but wonder what they could be!

    Thanks for this awesome opportunity, you are wonderful!

  928. ahhh I love that you’re doing this! Getting through an anxiety disorder is so hard, but your book makes it seem manageable on the hardest days

  929. Your book is the only one I’ve paid for on my kindle….I don’t know if this makes me cheap, smart, or just a huge fan, but either way, I have to thank you. You’ve given me reason to laugh when I needed it most (battling cancer sucks ass, by the way), and I will re-read your book again and again. I *will* be there in Phoenix….just looking forward to saying thanks, in person.

  930. Congratulations! ! I won’t be able to make it but may ask a friend in Seattle to get a signed coy food me. Cheers!

  931. I have already paid the book forward. I would do it for free for forever. I live ten hours away from Toronto and because of work schedules I just will not be able to make it. But welcome to Canada anyway. I know people that are so excited you’re coming here.

  933. Congratulations! I love the book and I would really love a copy of the audiobook!

  934. I’ve been afraid to buy your book because ever since I gave birth, I wee when I laugh, or cry, too hard.

  935. Picked up your book on a whim (mostly because there is a mouse wearing a cape on the cover so duh I had to have it) and DEVOURED it. Officially a huge fan. Will be buying copies for everyone I know. And framing the autographed copy should I have the good fortune of winning it 🙂

  936. I can’t tell you the last time I read anything that didn’t involve pregnancy or baby info, but I look forward to reading your book! Thanks for the chance to win.

  937. I’m very excited that you are coming to Minnesota. Sorry we will not be offering nice weather. Mother Nature is off her meds and it kind of sucks here.

  938. I am neither clever nor witty enough to come up with something great to put here, but I love your site and would be delighted to own an autographed copy.

  939. I’ve been so bummed that your tours haven’t taken you around to my neck of the woods (or if they did, that I missed it). I read the book on my Kindle, but there’s nothing like having a signed copy of the book itself 🙂

  941. I recently had a realtor show my house and made sure your book was on my nightstand. We got an offer the following day. Coincidence? You decide.

  942. OMG…I just saw that you are going to be in Tempe, AZ. This has just made my year!!! I love your blog and am so excited to go to the book signing. YAY!

  943. seeing The Bloggess on bestseller lists makes me have a little more faith in this big, wild, crazy, wonderful, effed up world.

  946. Toronto, my home town, enjoy!!! (If you want to blend it, pronounce it ‘Ti-RAWNA’ and finish everything with ‘eh?’. Trust me.

  947. I’d love to win a copy! Finances have been tight lately, but I pick it up longingly every time I’m at the book store looking for things for my students.

  948. I want to win a copy of your book. Please. I never win anything. I’m making a really sad face right now. You would give me a copy of your book out of pity if you could see me.

  949. I’d love a copy of the book. Be it the American or British version is completely irrelevant.

    Your book has been on my amazon list for ever since I discovered it earlier this year, I have yet to have any money to spare on what my bank adviser deems a “silly little book”.

  951. Love the book it changed my life! I work at a library in Canada and came across your book. When I saw the cover, it pulled me in and the title is a phrase I mutter in my head often. Then I read the introduction and was ‘shssed’ by another librarian for being to noisy in the library. I guess laughing hysterically is frowned upon. But the request list to borrow your book was in the hundreds so I ran out and bought a copy. I have not laughed so hard over a book that I had tears streaming down my eyes and I do this really weird laugh because I can barely breathe. My daughter thought I was having a seizure while my husband reassured her if I passed out it would be for only a few seconds. This was a month ago. I have been reading your blog daily ever since. I’m sort of a late bloomer. However through your book and blog I am finding many kindred spirits with similar humour and understanding of the world. Thank you so much for writing it!!! I wish I lived near Toronto, but I am 3000 kilometers away and my husband is all “well we don’t have the money blah, blah, blah” and truthfully I just tune him out at that point. But welcome to Canada and have a wonderful tour!!! We love you in Canada!

  952. Ok CLEARLY a lot of people want to win this. I do to, however I am coming to your book signing in Portland! No way in hell am I going to miss that! So as much as I would LOVE to win a signed copy, maybe to bury in a time capsule and in 100 years my great great great great grandchildren can dig it up, and everyone can remember the awesomeness that is Jenny! Just a thought.

  955. When researching something today I came across a song that made me think of you. Apparently it’s called “Skullcrusher Mountain” by Jonathan Coulton and it goes like this:

    I made this half-pony half-monkey monster to please you
    But I get the feeling that you don’t like it
    What’s with all the screaming?
    You like monkeys, you like ponies
    Maybe you don’t like monsters so much
    Maybe I used too many monkeys
    Isn’t it enough to know that I ruined a pony making a gift for you?

  956. Yeah!! I would LOVE a copy of the book or the audio. Read the book in 3 days flat…impressive considering how little free time I have…it usually takes me several weeks to get thru a book!

  957. I would love to win a copy of your book! I have been enjoying your blog for a while now. thanks!

  958. Can’t wait to see you in Portland where I will finally be buying the book, but would love the audio version too!

  960. Oh, I’d love the chance to win any of the printed versions. I’m an American living in Canada, so either option would work, lol

    I’m a broke sister who so can’t afford to buy books. I had planned to put your book on my christmas wishlist and cross my fingers, but winning one would be so, so awesome.

  961. Saw you in Chicago – you were fantastic and I would be thrilled to have a signed copy!

  962. i absolutely adore you. you’re flipping hilarious & i literally laugh outloud everytime i come to your blog. aside from the obvious, i’m also in awe of you for being brave enough to be open about your depression & anxiety issues. i suffer from them as well (mostly depression) & always did it silently. i love that you were brave enough to open up about it, not in a “oh poor me” kind of way, but more in a “it is what it is” kind of way. that said, you’ve given me strength by reminding me that depression lies-something i honestly never realized before. you’ve given me a new outlook on life & i’m sure i’m one of many. thank you for being you. and congrats on writing what i’m sure is an amazeballs book! :0)

  963. I’d love to win a hard copy! I wish some part of your tour had come close enough to travel too. I’ve got both my mom and sister reading your blog now.

  964. oh how i want to win the audio version! does it help that i slept with you this weekend and loved it? (i read the book in bed…get your mind out of the gutter.)

  965. I would love to win your book! Thank you so much for the awesome giveaway. 🙂

  966. I would LOVE to win the audio CD! My husband got me your book for my birthday! I love making him read the blog… he also often feels unsafe in his own home. I understand.

  967. OH! I’m so excited! I never thought you’d come up here for your book tour! YAY!!!! I will be making this, come hell or high water! Did I mention I’m excited?!

  968. I’ve been meaning to get into taxidermy ever since I saw Dinner for Schmucks.

    I’d love a copy of the book!

    You are hilarious, and therefore the book is hilarious. Q.E.D.

    Thanks!

  969. I recently read your book to my best friend while I was helping care for her after she had surgery and now have her hooked on you! I’ve got a surgery of my own coming up in a few weeks and the audiobook would be fabulous entertainment while I’m recovering. The laughing would probably hurt, but it would be totally worth it!

    All the best for your last leg of your tour – I was lucky enough to listen to you read and get my book signed while you were in Maryland!

  970. Jenny, I have read your book 1 1/2 times ( rereading parts over ). It is funny; a little sad especially the anxiety part – the anxiety isn’t funny; honest; human (!); and the fact that you have enough trust and faith and humor to open yourself to others. Now you know that opening up has made you more human, allowed others to identify with you, and just plain love you. This is probably real syrupy and I hope you don’t get high blood sugar from it but — the sentiments come from my heart. Your book should be mandatory reading for humans, animal lovers, taxidermy lovers ( I am not one of those ), and family-lovers. Did I miss anyone? Oh yeah! Republicans. They won’t understand but it is worth a try. Take care. Elaine

  971. That’s really generous of you. I’d love to be considered for the British version. I hope the tour continues to go well for you.

  972. Jenny, you are receiving what you’ve given. Thanks for being a good read.

  974. Congratulations on all your success, you totally deserve it. And I deserve an audiobook 🙂

  975. You’re awesome. I’d love to know what the difference between the British version and American version is. Have a great last leg of the tour!

  976. Supporting people who support other people and write kick ass books is the best kind of paying it forward. Have fun on the next leg of your book tour!

  978. If your book is even half as hilarious as some of your blog posts, it will stay on the best seller list for a while! I always read the dialogues between you and Victor to my husband; we both get a chuckle out of them. I would have bought a copy of your book, but between the student loans I took out for my now worthless college degree and being unemployed, I have little money to buy much of anything. So, please, let me win some awesome?!

  979. I have a long train ride commute so an audio book is always a good choice

  981. Oh please, oh please, oh please send me a copy of the British version. Please?

  982. I’ve been dying to read your book, but I vowed not to buy any books this year in an attempt to be a better library patron, and no matter how hard I beg, my library has yet to get your book in stock. So here’s hoping I can win a copy from you! Or wait until January when I can resume buying books.

  984. I loved your book! I have it on my iPad and would love a hard copy! I read parts of it to the girls I work with and they went and bought it too! You have such a crazy fun life and I love hearing about it all!

  986. I would love to win a copy of your book. I want to use it as a text book on successful blog writing as I think you’re the queen of the blogosphere. I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. I used the word winkus in a recent story (Misunderstood) and now my blog has been classified as porn by a few of the filter software packages so some of my readers can’t get to it anymore. My grandma used the word winkus. How bad can it be? I suppose I could just switch out winkus for motherfucker and see if that gets through the filter monsters instead. Enjoy your visit to Canada, where they have fine examples of taxidermy for sale. Safe trip.

  987. Oh man, I would love to get a copy of your book! We moved 12 hours away from all of our family & friends & I’m isolated with two toddlers and I need something to pull me out of this depression, I think your book would be just what the doctor ordered! Thanks for the opportunity!

  988. Ooops, got a little button happy above. Sorry!

    I’m going to do my damndest to make it to the Portland signing, but if not I still need your hilarious audiobook to get me through my commute. Pick me!

  989. Your book is the first audiobook I’ve ever bought. I also learned it is not meant for listening while on the treadmill. I became ‘that girl’…you know, the one who is laughing maniacally and then falls of the treadmill.

  990. I love your Blog. I am too “budget conscious” (which should be read as “cheap”) to purchase books. So, I either need to wait the zillion weeks for the hold at the library or you can give me a signed copy. Really, its your choice. Either way, I am reading the book.

  991. I have a feeling it will be awhile until your book is available in the library, so I would love a copy straight from you!!

  992. I still read to my 11 year old at night and the only way he’ll let me is if I read him your book.

    Cheers and thanks for wholesome family fun!

  993. I have your book on my Kindle. I forwarded your blog site to a friend. Her response to me was “so I’m normal!” lol You made her laugh which was a big step for her. WOuld love to have a hard copy to give her.

    Keep moving forward, one step at a time!

  996. Hmmm, let’s see, BRITISH COPY. I’m a lady, so I would say please, but no. I want it too much to bother with manners.

  997. okay I have had no luck with holding onto this book…I preordered a copy and didn’t get a signed book plate ~sniffle~ and then gave the book to a friend, because seriously, everyone should read it. Bought another copy, and ended up giving it away again. I’d take a Brit copy if I get to pick, maybe that one will stay on my shelf!

  998. Would love a copy! Borrowed it from the library and read it already, but would love my own!

  999. still no Pennsylvania, huh? that’s ok. Have a great time. Would love to win an authographed book!!

  1000. I would love to have the audiobook..

    I figure you reading your own work has to be the best thing since sliced bread.. or at least ice cream. Because ice cream is awesome and everything is hot right now. 😛

  1001. What is the difference between the American & the British version? Is there more cursing in the British version?

    Many Congrats on both versions!

  1002. It has been so amazing to watch you grow over the years. You are truly an inspiration to me. I still hope we can meet one day.

  1003. Not surprised that your book continues to do well – I am happy for you! Hope you enjoy the next leg of your tour!

  1005. Ohh I want to win! I’m that cheap bitch who is reading your book a chapter at a time in the book store while my kid’s at story time. I really want a copy to actually read through.

  1006. My mom introduced me to this book and read me a few chapters out of it. We ended up crying because we were laughing so hard. This will defentally help me through my teen years and show me a new perspective on life. This is one of the best books ever! You should write more books they’re absolutely hilarious, if you write any more I am buying it. I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto everyone will love you in Canada, I already do!

  1007. As a fellow anxiety basket case, I’m SO impressed with your continual book touring. Enjoy every minute of it, and you go, awesome lady. 🙂

  1008. Have to say after reading the book (yes the one UPS finally found and delivered to me AFTER the one Amazon replaced it with!) Would love to hear you read it – I have a trip coming up and would so enjoy taking “you” along!

  1009. I could use some good laughs! I think a signed copy of your book might provide that. 😉

  1011. My coworkers ask me every morning if The Bloggess has posted something yet, because I read your posts out loud to them during the monotonous sections of our (quite repetitive) job. I bought your book the first day it came out, and I’ve lent it to several friends who have also fallen in love with it. I am so glad that you wrote it, and gave me a way to show people that no matter what kind of broken you are, you can still be amazing.

    (And I have to say, my favorite posts are the ones about your growing taxidermy collection. As I type this comment, completely ignoring my need to take inventory, a large cattle skull named Rosencrantz is staring over my shoulder, judging my lack of productivity. It’s nice to not be the only person I know who names the dead things around her.)

  1012. You will love Toronto! We already love you! My book club will be there cheering you on!

  1013. I would love the Audio cd, hearing you read it would make the experience 10 times more hysterically wonderful!

  1015. I would love a hard copy of your book. I recently had the extraordinary luck of finding your website. Not only are you hilarious but we unfortunately have something in common. I also have anxiety (and panic) disorder. I can’t wait to read about your mostly true life!

  1016. Thank you for all your funniness and for keeping it real. I enjoy your blog very much. I’d love an audio copy of your book.

  1017. I would love to win a book. I don’t even really care which version, though I do love the British cover.

  1019. I’d love a hard copy, I have the Kindle version, but I keep wishing I’d bought a hard copy. I’ve told everyone I know to read your book, and if your stories weren’t so funny, my husband would be sick of hearing about you! Best of luck on the next leg of your book tour and if you have another one, you should make a stop in Savannah!

  1020. I love your book 🙂 I read it on my Kindle, but have my autographed name plate on my fridge at home and smile at it when it catches my eye.

  1021. Wish I lived closer to Toronto at a time like this! Congratulations on a successful tour and you deserve to be on everyone’s “Best” list!

  1022. Jenny, I knew what I was getting into when I picked up the book. However, I clearly should have warned the people on the plane taking the red eye home with us from Denver last week. In the bright pool of light on an otherwise dark plane, there I sat, giggling, chorteling and trying so hard to repress my laughter I was crying. My husband was not amused or asleep. He knew better and should have stopped me, so he had it coming.
    I work as a therapist and will be buying a few copies to give to some of the people I think could benefit from a good soul lifting laugh. I’d love an autographed copy.
    Thank you! thank you for writing the book
    Robert.

  1023. I live basically in the middle of nowhere so I couldn’t attend any of your signings, but I’d love a copy of the book! I think you are hilarious! Was checking out your pinterest boards the other day and totally cracking up!

  1024. Love, love, love your blog and book! Wish I could get to one of your stops!

  1025. I never win anything – but I have been reading your blog since Beyonce went ballistic – so here goes. Would LOVE to win the American version – if not, how about some new towels?

  1029. Oh, this is awesome!! I was super excited that you’re coming to Toronto, until I realized it’s when I’ll be out of town. 🙁 So a chance to win the book might be an acceptable substitute, haha. 🙂

  1030. This book is fabulous! I would love the audio version even though I am afraid it will make me pee my pants.

  1031. I’d love a hard copy! I bought the Kindle version only to immediatly regret that decision – I’m a hard copy nerd! I loved your book so much, I read it twice within a month, and recommend it to anyone who will listen!

  1032. I have a friend who wanted desperately to see you in Austin but had something come up with her family. I would love a hard copy signed for her.

  1033. Love your blog, I’m eating spelt soup for lunch and giggling now. Pick me!

  1034. Your book was a topic of conversation on Saturday when we were discussing what we’d been reading during our seasonal brunch get-together. How much would I love the audio CD? Sooo much!

  1035. Id like to listen to you will I fall asleep!!!! Or be kept wide awake with stories… Either way really

  1037. I would LOVE to have a British copy! I have your American copy and was lucky enough to get one of your signature cards! I think my mom would love the book and the British copy would make it extra special (she’s scottish)!

    So many congrats to you!

  1039. Oooooooo! Pick me! Pick me! I’d love a British version of your book. It’s the most awesome book ever in the history of books.

  1041. You’re blog posts are very entertaining to read and I’m looking forward to picking up a copy of your book sometime soon. I’m almost sorry we moved out of Minneapolis now, since you’re going to be there on this last leg of your tour. Here’s hoping you show up in western PA sometime (or did I already miss you?).

    Thanks for the laughs!

  1044. I’m in. Hopefully the selection process is totally random and not based on a how-smart/witty/funny-the-comment-is algorithm. Because then I’d have a (rather tiny, at this point) chance of winning.

  1045. Your blog had made me laugh so hard I choke or spit water on my computer more times than I can count, so I’m mildly afraid of your book but I’d love to have it all the same 🙂

  1046. I would love a signed copy of your book! It would be magical.

  1047. My name, now in the hat…the rakish hat sitting atop the head of a taxidermied mouse.

  1049. I’m an HR Director and during one of my lowest moments a colleague referred me to your site to cheer me up. U R the Cure! I now follow you (like a puppy) on twitter. Congratulations for all you do for each one of us.

  1050. I would love to win a copy…but I’ll be buying one when you’re in Denver either way. 😉

  1052. I so love that you have opened the curtains and shown the rest of the world what it is like to live in your head. I share some of the “interesting” directions that your brain goes, and I’ve started to “come out” about depression and anxiety. Great book. See you at the Shoreline (Seattle-area) Costco in August. Whooo hoooo!

  1053. I’m sorry I missed you when you were in Atlanta… I had class! But I’d love to win the audio version.

  1056. I just finished the book while on vacation… at one point laughing so hard I stopped breathing. Wish I could have seen you at a book signing!

  1057. I’d love a copy to send my bff. This book had me laughing too hard every single page.

  1058. Toronto is my hometown (well, next door really, in Mississauga {which is actually where the airport is…}, but who’s ever heard of Mississauga??) so I wish I could be there to see you but I’d settle for the british version 🙂

  1059. I would love to have the British version. That cover is phenomenal.

  1061. I would so love a copy of any of these editions of your book. It’s on my Christmas list, but I hate having to wait that long. Also the chances that I can stay off the naughty list until December are pretty slim.

  1062. My sister-in-law and mother-in-law will be at your Tempe, AZ, book signing with our copy we pre-ordered long before it was out. Look for the one from “Doug and Marion” with the crazy pic on an inside page. You’ve written a wonderful book — looking forward to the next one.

  1063. I’m coming to see you in Toronto. There. I said it so it must be true. Panic disorder be damned! What sealed the deal was the fact that I read that you do “quick ninja signings” in the parking lot after events sometimes. If I have a panic attack, wet myself and pass out during the signing/reading, I can at least get an autograph. Totally embarrassed. In wet pants. Sigh.
    Please just give me a free copy of your book out of pity. I bought/read the digital version, but you can’t sign that. 🙁

  1064. You know what’s NOT in Toronto? Calgary. DAMMIT!

    I would like a signed book. In fact, I feel I deserve one to get over the pain of not living in Ontario anymore. I was really hoping to hang in a public bathroom with you and a flask of vodka.

    Ah well.

  1065. I’d love a copy! I’m choosing it as my book club choice when it is my turn to pick!

  1066. Here’s my self-serving comment that shows that I would like to acquire free stuff.
    In all seriousness though, congrats for your success. The more successful you are, the better off I am, because I very often retreat to Bloggess-based humor when I get hit with one of my depressive lows. You are an inspiration to us mood-disorder sufferers. Cheers!

  1067. I desperately need a pick me up and would love to win a copy of your book! I am an avid reader, though I have limited personal funds available to purchase books and my local library wait list is in triple digits! Your writing is inspirational and piss your pants funny. If I could apply an ounce of your good humor and wit to my daily life, it would change my world. Warm regards, keep it rocking sisterpants.

  1068. I would absolutely LOVE an autographed British copy of your book! I’m just dying to read it! Love from a Norwegian in Scotland!

  1069. I love your humor. My husband and I say ” knock knock mfer” to each other all the time. Would be so excited to receive an autographed copy of the audio book.

  1070. I would LOVE the audio version. I have now purchased 10 copies of your book and shipped them to all the Texans in my life, wherever they may be living. Good luck with the tour and WHY haven’t you come to San Francisco????

  1071. I haven’t peed my pants from laughter in at least a few months….something tells me you’ll get me there.

    Hmmmmm….perhaps I shouldn’t admit these things to people I don’t know.

    Oh well!!!

  1072. Hi. I lurk here, (mostly because I’m too shy to usually interact) and I would LOVE to win one of your books. That would be totally awesome. :

  1075. I love you way too much to ever strumpet comments for a free British Version of your book and a stuffed animal to be named later.

    It’s Canada, so don’t be surprised if a hockey match breaks out at your book signings.

    Or a Moose.

  1076. Love you! I’d love a nice audio edition. Hearing you read a chapter in NC, made me laugh even harder than the first time read your book.

  1077. ME … ME … ME … choose me!!! Pleeeeease?!? USA version.

    Oh, wait … you can’t mail to Costa Rica? Ack!

    But we have a postal service here. They race around on motorbikes and sometimes actually deliver the mail. Well … whatever you decide. Love the book. Have it on Kindle. (wish the photos were better on Kindle.)

  1078. Jenny…the book is amazing. Of course, it’s on the Best Seller List. And it’s awesome of you to give some away! But if you choose me, can I have a pic of you with Jefferson Peabody? LOL That would rule! Just kidding, thanks for coming here day in and day out and making my world a little bit better.
    Much love~

  1079. I so hope you get to come to the UK one day; I will be there with bells on!! <3 you, <3 your book!!

  1082. Knock knock, motherfucker.

    My favorite caption from your blog.

  1083. Whoa, my first Bloggess comment. I am hoping to come out in Toronto (I live about 45 minutes away and am excited that you’re coming to Toronto in the first place) but with a small child, we’ll see about that.

  1084. I have the kindle version and still haven’t gotten around to reading it yet – can’t wait – but my baby daughter and full time work schedule lead me to fall asleep within seconds of hitting the pillow these days. Still, I’d love a hard book version! Please pick me! Maybe with two versions I will have a better chance of fitting in reading time (me time)… maybe.

  1085. oh my goodness! me me me! I’ve been wanting to get a copy but haven’t been able to afford it.

  1087. So excited you are coming to Portland! I already have the American copy and the audio book, but I wouldn’t pass up the British version. Love the font on that one 🙂

  1088. Congrats on all your success – you totally deserve it! Come to Alaska on your next book tour – hardly anyone ever comes to visit us!!

  1089. You make me laugh… Not a giggle or a snicker but a real laugh…. The kind that is embarrassing in public places and makes people look at you strangely…. Love it….
    My depression makes it hard to ……. To do anything … But you my dear make me laugh …. With truth and recognition … I’ve told my lame gift buying husband that your book shall be my Christmas present… And to order 10 more for my friends…… The anticipation …is delightful . The fact that your posts are a anchor point to me Says a lot about me!

  1090. Me! ME! Pick me! I only have a nook version. Would love a signed actual book, or the audio! You are such an inspiration to keep going when days seem impossible.

  1091. I’d love to win…finances are really tight right now. I love your blog and am sure your book is a great extension of the humor and insight here!

  1092. I live in Canada but on the other end of the country so I can’t get to Toronto in time for this. Though I might end up in a broom closet while I made my husband meet you instead. Anxiety sisters unite? I am torn between the brit and the audio. Ah heck, I think audio might be seriously fun. I’ve never had an audio book before. Send me one? *big anxious eyes*

  1095. While we’re being thankful, I want to say thank you for your book, and your blog. Reading the things you write makes me feel better, which sounds sort of sappy and dumb, but it’s true.

    So thank YOU.

  1097. Would love to win a copy since I am not near any of the signings! Here in Missasippy (yes I spelled it correctly) we don’t get many celebrities! I do want to thank you for bringing laughter to my day and for just kick-assery in general!!!!

  1098. You deserve the accolades! Thank you for sharing your world with us!

  1099. I would love a copy of the British version of your book- it’s got just the right amount of quirkiness and seems so much more “you” than the American one.

    When you made a tour stop near me, I was in NH. We literally just missed each other. I consider it tragic. 🙂

  1100. I’ve never read an entire book in my life. Ok, maybe my wife read it to me on our long drives to camp but I actually wanted to hear it! You’ve are definitely one of the funniest people I’ve ever read. Congrats to you on your book. I can’t wait for the next one.

    Also, Victor must be a saint. Just sayin. 🙂

  1101. Good luck on your “final, but probably not cuz I bet there’s a 4th one coming” book tour!
    And I need a copy of your book.
    I bought two already, gave one to a friend as a gift, and my sister STOLE my other copy.
    Okay, I technically loaned it to her but saying it was stolen buys me more pity.

  1103. I haven’t bought it yet, but the moment my financial aid money comes in for the next school year, I shall. It counts as an educational necessity, right?

  1105. pick me! pick me! puh – leeeaaze

    I can’t wait to read your book (just waiting for my SO’s birthday so I can give it to him) the best gift for him is a gift for me, I mean for all to enjoy!!

  1106. Best book and at just the right time, I’ve got it as an e-book and have read it 3 times to help me get through the worst of my postpartum depression. Thank you so very much for your amazing work 🙂

  1107. Broke college student, can’t buy things. Dreams of winning a book…

  1108. I would love to have a copy of the American version! I’m a bit of a newbie to your blog, but I have to say I love it. 🙂 There is rarely a post when I’m not laughing every couple of sentences. You’re amazing!

  1110. Jenny,
    Your blog is ‘da bomb! Just when I think I’m at my wits end, I come here and get a good ol’ belly laugh! Much better than going postal on my coworkers, so they are thankful for you, too. 🙂 hehe!

    I don’t care what I get, as long as it’s written by you!

  1111. I just finished your book and it was awesome!! You made me laugh when I really needed it, thank you! I’ve been telling everyone i know to get your book if they want to laugh. I would love to show off a signed copy!

  1112. totally bummed that when you came to Atlanta I was elsewhere for the day. Pick me, pick me! (I’m standing on my tippy toes, waving my hand like Hermione)

  1113. Congrats! It’s great to see someone so awesome doing so well. I think most of us who read your blog think of you as family because you let us in to your every day life… sort of like that crazy aunt who’s always TMI and tells you to come in for cookies and then asks if you want gin in your tea. Maybe that’s just my family… The point is, you’re always happy for your family.

  1114. My gf told me to come here, logon and beg for a copy of the book. And as I already know the value of picking your battles, I only rolled my eyes and then logged in here.

    PLEASE GIVE ME A BOOK AND LET ME HAVE SOME POINTS WITH MY GF.

    Thank you. That is all…

  1115. I would love an audio copy of your book. I have the print version and my husband and I both love it.

  1116. when anxiety beats me down, I think of you globetrotting and facing life head on. Way to inspire, Jenny!

  1118. Oh, yes! We just got your book from the library and are reading it out loud to each other in the evenings. This only works moderately well. It’s hard to read out loud when you’re laughing so hard that you’re almost drowning in your own tears.

  1119. Ooh, how I would love a copy of the audiobook. Would you please consider coming back to San Antonio? I had to miss your appearance here because I was teaching chem lab :(.

  1120. I’d love a copy of your book! I’ll even take on in Finnish and google translate it to death. It’s on my Awesome Lit list for the fall, not to be confused with my Depressing Lit list for my English classes…You’re way funnier than Hemingway. Not that that’s hard.

  1121. I would love the American hardcover version of your book. I listened to the audio-book and it had me rollin’ :]

  1123. I would love to win a copy of your book – I don’t have either and I want to read it. I doubt that I’ll be lucky enough to win with so many comments listed already, but I’m going to leave my comment and hope that my number comes up in this book lotto. You are such an inspiration to me and I’ve been reading for years :o)

  1124. Of course I would love the audio of your book. So would my family who are sick of me reading sections aloud.
    Congratulations on your success. It’s not like it fell from a big metal chicken. You sweated blood for it.

  1125. I have purchased three of your unbelievably delightful books. One was for me, but I ended up giving it to my daughter so she can understand how lucky she is to have a mother like me who grew up quite similar to you (a summer spent living in a tent in Maine while attending a glass blowing artists’ convention(?) comes to mind)- we’re the ones who make life interesting. The second book was bought for, and given to, a wonderful woman who has endured one of the roughest years anyone could never hope to endure- but even with all this pain and unhappiness she loaned it to her two daughters (one of which bought her own so she could reread it) before she started reading it- there’s nothing like reading absolutely hysterical humor while you are getting multiple shots in the rump every weekend for an illness. The third book is mine (for a short time). I am currently taking a friend to counseling and find it quite fun to read your book while sitting in the waiting room. Even though I am half-way finished, I have now started at the beginning again, so I’m getting two books for the price of one!

  1126. I am so thrilled for you! My friend just recommended your book to me. I told her it was on my To Read list and she said “Move it to the top!” An utterly wholehearted recommendation. Oh, and pick me and I’ll send you a picture of me collating paper! I know. It’s just not as cool as Wil Wheaton. Dangit! Is anything as cool as Wil Wheaton?

  1128. I’m so happy for all of your success and if I could get a Brit version that would fantastic…Thanks for all of the laughs you have touched me in times when no one else did 🙂

  1129. Looking forward to your Portland visit. This is funniest book I have read in years. Would love to own a copy…hope I win…..

  1130. Have fun in my old home town of Toronto!
    Next time come to Montreal. I do love Toronto, but if Toronto is a nice wine, then Montreal is champagne. Toronto is cotton briefs, Montreal is a lacy thong. Toronto is broiled fish, Montreal is caviar. Toronto is…okay, you get the point.
    Pam

  1131. I made my whole family read your book! Now, we name our stuffed pets after presidents.
    Sorry I missed you when you came to MA!

  1132. I was delighted to hear you’ll be swinging through Portland. It just seems like your kind of town.

  1134. I’ve already read your awesomesauce book and laughed hysterically whilst doing so. I’ve also already passed it on so that I may convert a few friends to being Bloggess addicts like myself. BUT! I haven’t gotten a signed copy and I really really really want one!!! Also? I’m really happy to have found your blog & I congratulate you on your book success & your life success!!! You rock at life!!!

  1137. Oh, how I luuuurve your book and blog! It is so very nice to know there are others in the world who share my completely whacked sense of humor (not to mention my issues!) I would love a Hamlet von Schnitzel of my very own, but, alas, I cannot deprive you of yours and haven’t seen any on eBay recently. So I suppose I will just hope I am one of the lucky winners and you are kind enough to bestow a personalized copy of the UK printing onto (unto?) my person. I’m reading my US copy to pieces. You are a delight and thank you for sharing yourself with the wonky world 🙂

  1138. I read your book on my Kindle in one day, but I would love to have an Audio CD so I can hear you tell your stories in the voice you meant for them to be told!

  1140. Wow, a BRITISH version? How does that work, exactly? Do they just spell things differently, like “flavour” vs “flavor”, or do you say completely different things in upper-crust British accents like “Victor said, “you absolutely MUST not bring that dead animal in, lovie, it just won’t DO,” and then YOU respond with “Victor, you’re being a complete ASS, dear. Of COURSE we can have dead animals, we’ll just pop round to the taxidermist and he’ll sort it out while we have lunch at Claridges” and then Victor says, “REAAAAALY now, don’t you think you’ve taken this a bit FAR now, it’s all getting rawther ridiculous, I mean to say!” and YOU say, “Darling, there’s no need to get in a row about it, now would you PLEASE pull the car out of the GAR-age” (because they pronounce it GAR-idge which sounds wrong and cool at the same time) “and PLEASE get some petrol because it’s a bit of a way away” and then Victor says, “I’m not getting involved with this nonsense and frankly I think you’re being a bloody bitch, THAT’S what,” and then YOU say, “Fine, if that’s how you’re going to carry on, I’ll just ask Clive for a lift,” and then Victor says, “CLIVE? Who the BLOODY HELL is CLIVE? Have you been having it ON with someone?” and then you say, “Spot on, THAT’S what, and you know WHAT? You’ve really become a complete wanker” and then Victor says, “WANKER? What are you now, some 12-year old schoolgirl?” and then YOU say, “All I know is, from now on, you are persona non grata in my knickers, THAT’S what, and I’m OFF.”

    If that’s what’s going on I want the British version.

  1142. I would love a British version of the book for my friend Sarah’s birthday. We are always talking in silly accents and playing songs from musicals way too loud at random times of the night. I highly recommend going to see a kid’s movie at the last possible showing during the beginning of the week. We did and it was completely empty except for us, so we pointed, laughed, cried and made complete fools of ourselves. She is the person I can see being my “Laura” and she already tells me I’m so much like you. We love you and to us, you are our brand of sanity.

  1143. Your wit and wisdom are inspiring. Thank you for sharing. I laugh with you, and remain anxious to read your book.

  1144. listened to a friend’s copy of audio book, immediately had to go out and buy a book and read it. now i would like an audio copy of my own.

  1145. An audio copy would be awesome, maybe I could convince myself to walk that extra mile the treadmill…unless I fell off laughing.

  1146. Oki … I do would like so your autographed book … Pick me is all I can think of right now. … So pick me 🙂
    And have a pleasant trip …

  1147. Holy comments batman! Nice! I would love an American copy…or an audio CD, I would love any of them to be honest:)

  1148. Half way through and LOVING it! Waited 3 months to get it through the library and would love to own it 🙂 This is book you read multiple times for SURE

  1149. YAY!!!!! for still being on the best seller list!!!
    Got my hubs intrigued to read your book now 😉
    ~kat

  1150. would rather have a magical Jesus booby mushroom, but the autographed book will do.

  1151. I would love a copy! Some of your posts get me in trouble at work, because I’m unable to control my laughter 😉

  1152. i’m not sure if what i got is the american version or the british one. I’m from the philippines so i guess i have the US version. I’ve said this a couple of times and i’ve given your book as a gift to many friends. We reached the same conclusion. Best. Book. Ever. Hello Motherfucker! Congrats jenny!

  1154. I only let myself read your book when I work out at the gym. I’m averaging two chapters per workout. I actually look forward to going because I get to jump back in to your life. Thanks for writing, Jenny!

    Love,
    Sarah

  1155. So glad you’ll be in Seattle! Loved loved loved your book and love love love your blog.

  1156. I’d love to win a hard copy of the american version! Congrats on still being on the best seller list. That is amazing!

  1158. I first met you and Beyonce through the Tattered Cover’s email newsletter. It was love at first read!
    Not sure I can make it to Denver to see you, (life gets in the way of so many things). So I would love a signed copy of any ilk. I’m on my third or fourth time through the book. It’s hilarious the first time, but even funnier the fourth time as I read it aloud to unsuspecting friends. They havent invented the word yet for how awesome you are:)

  1159. Those who know me well know I don’t read, nor even know how. The fact that I’m typing this comment at all is a feat — I only hope these are all actual words, and that they are all warmly caressed by proper punctuation. Still, having heard the buzz about your book, I recently picked it up and began absorbing the text on the page. Copious amounts of chortles followed. Brava, lady… brava.

  1160. Can’t wait to see you next Friday! I talked my MIL into buying your book and she can’t put it down 🙂

  1161. Your book is helping me get through 2 online chemisty classes (Organic and Biochemistry)….do you know how fucking hard it is to essentially teach yourself chemistry?!!!

    Your book helps to alleviate the pain. I now need one for my sister as she plans to take a Calculus class online and will desperately need a break and also proof that our childhood really wasn’t all that fucked up after all.

  1162. I bought 2 copies and have given both away. One to a 21 year old woman going through a tough time and a lot of rotten things happening to her. Your book helped her find the laughter. THANK YOU!

  1165. Your book is my new bible. And by bible, I mean book of new ways to annoy my husband. Which the real bible has lots of, too. And by real, I don’t mean that your book isn’t real, although it isn’t always true like the real, I mean, OTHER bible is. I mean, seriously, which is really going to happen — red seas being parted or dead squirrel puppets? Nice, but you haven’t fooled me! I do like that squirrel idea as a way to annoy my husband, though. And by annoy, I mean scare the crap out of him and possibly end my marriage. And by end, I mean divorce. Thanks!

  1166. You’ve inspired me to start my own blog about raising three boys. I hope I can find my own humor and snarky tone that works for my readers as well as they work for yours!! Thank you!

  1167. I would MURDER for an audio copy so I can enjoy your book while I drive. And by murder, I mean post a comment in hopes to win and/or buy it at Changing Hands when I go to meet you.

  1168. You are the awesomest–I’m still laughing from Jefferson Peabody!!!!!

  1169. I’d love any copy format… You’re hilarious and totally deserve to enjoy this crazy ride. I hope it doesn’t take you another handful of years to write the next one 🙂

  1170. Good luck on the last leg of the tour! Sort of bummed you never made it to this area of the country, but excited to see what you come up with next, once all the book tours are done.

  1172. My first choice would be the American book. My second would be an audio version of you reading the book in a British accent. Because that would be a-mazing…

    Congrats, Jenny!

  1173. I would love to be able to give my wife an autographed copy of your book.

  1175. Congrats on the book! It’s pretty darn funny! Love you and you’re crazy-ness

  1176. Jenny, you are awesome and I sooooooo want to come see you in person to get a book signed! However, the stars have been conspiring against me to be able to do so. I wish you safe travels on the last leg of your tour!!! 😀

  1177. I’ve been stalking…that is, “reading your website” – since Beyonce. I’m really hoping to win!

  1178. If I happen to get a free book can I want the British version over the American version, it seems a little classier with “colour” instead of “color” and “armour” instead of “armor”. Love the site!

  1179. Ever since I read your book, I’ve been religiously following your blog and loving every minute of it. Literally, my roommates think I’ve gone nuts because of how often I laugh out loud at what you write. 🙂

  1180. I was devastated when I realized I lost the signed card to put in the book I had preordered. Oh, I would love a signed copy of the book!!!

  1183. i love reading your blog, you are hilarious and i get plenty of weird looks while reading cuz usually i’m laughing like a hyena, so i would love to read your book. if i’m not lucky enough to win i’m gonna have to buy a copy 🙂

  1184. i wish i could get down to toronto for it, but it’s in the middle of the week, so no go. but i’d love the american version!

  1185. I desperately need the audio version of the book. I read aloud to my cousins as we traveled across Tennessee, and I kept breaking down laughing and couldn’t finish a sentence. I had to start over about a dozen times to get through the paragraph about Jenny’s getting her hand stuck in a cow’s vagina. I cried all over the book, snorted, and hiccuped. None of this would happen with the audio version safely in the CD player.

  1187. I’d love to win an american copy of the book, although I’m totally intrigued as to the difference between the American and British. I’m sure you jusit wrote it with an accent is all. You are hilarious and your writing it genius!

  1188. I would absolutely love to have a copy of the British edition! Funds are a little short just now, but if I don’t win a copy I will buy one sooner or later. My friend was telling me about your book last night; I geeked out at her and promised to send her a link to your blog! Ooh, which reminds me. I’ll do that now. X

  1189. I really want a signed copy of the American version of the book!
    Congratulations on your success, have a booze slushy to celebrate and troll the internet for excellent humane taxidermy creations!

  1190. I’ve never met, or I should say read, someone who is grateful for everything as you! Thank you for being thankful!

  1192. Congrats on the book doing so well. Would love to win a copy, British version please! Although not sure how different that would be from the American copy – Can’t wait to choke on my coffee!

  1193. I would love a copy of your audio book to listen to on my five hour drive to Louisville (pronounced “loo-UH-vlle”). It would certainly make the time fly. Though it also will likely make me laugh so hard I run off the road…

  1196. “The Psychopath on the Other Side of the Bathroom Door” had me in tears, I was laughing so hard!! My sister recommended your blog and book, and I’ve been stalking you ever since! 🙂

  1197. I need your book. NEED. I don’t care which version (although I’d go for the american version).
    Please? send a bit of your awesomeness this way!

  1198. Maine is sometimes considered the lost providence of Canada–can you visit us on your way home???

  1200. Would love a signed copy!!! I’m old school, so I would prefer a good ole hard copy of the American version. Are you also including a signed photo of Beyonce? That would be pretty awesome too. Thanks for the generosity!

  1201. I so love you, Jenny! I hope that you pick me to get the audio version! I would love to hear your story in your own voice. :o) Many thanks to YOU for being amazing and bringing so much joy and laughter to my life. Your book is amazing and I can’t wait until I can read it all over again (or hear it, whichever comes first). Many long distance hugs to you!

  1203. You are the best, Jenny. Not just because you’re funny, but also because you give back. You are always doing for others over the years and that’s a great thing. And you’ve made an influence on my life. I recently went on a road trip to the beach and because of you, I saw everything in a new way. Signs were funnier and my husband and I laughed so much. Thanks!

  1205. I live in Buffalo, NY, so I’m super excited that you’re coming to Toronto! I plan on crossing the border next week to come see you. I didn’t know about your blog until I saw the book, but now I’m addicted and it keeps me sane at work when I’m answering phone calls from angry hotel guests. So thank you!

  1206. jenny – i’d love a copy of your book cause i sure could use a laugh today. i’m so thankful i ran across you – you are a tremendous person who deserves all the success in the world!

  1207. What no Canadian version? Well I’m a neighbour to the States, live in British Columbia and have ears so any copy works for me. You always make me laugh….. almost as much as my daughter does. Hopefully you are adding Victoria BC to your book tour?

  1208. Will this book change my life? I really hope so. Otherwise I’ll be very, very sad.

  1210. I have the hard copy with your bookplate :O) But would LOVE the audio version -for, you know, when the kid’s not in the car!

  1212. Oooooh Pick Me Pick Me!!! I can’t wait to read your book – it’s a pity I am so damn lazy I haven’t ordered it yet. You rock! (Wow I so totally sound like a groupie…)

  1215. Frugal way to re-blogess: If you read the book whilst drinking, you won’t remember it, so you can re-read it sober & enjoy it all over again!

  1218. I so wish you were headed to Kansas City! I LOVED your book and love your blog. I so wish my husband and I had fights like yours and Victor’s, they are the best!

  1220. Congratulations on the success of your book. I enjoyed it greatly. See you in Toronto

  1221. Fabulous, make-my-sides-hurt funny and emotional all wrapped up in one! Loved the audio book and will be buying a Hard Back for keep sakes!
    WHS – Class of ’94 (This small tidbit, probably doesn’t win me any points. I only admit it in small crowds!)

  1222. Read it (and loved it!) on my iPad, so I’d love a “real” signed book.

  1223. Thank you for all of your zany antics!
    I never win anything, so if you pick me, you could change all of that. *sympathy vote accepted* 🙂

  1226. Hi Jenny, I would love a signed copy! I’d also love the stuffed baby aligator you have – because I quite covet that, but I know that he belongs with/to you!!! 🙂 I’m in Vancouver, wish you were heading up our way, however, enjoy the Canadians on the other side of the country!!!! And congratulations on your success!!!! It is well deserved!!!!

  1227. You’ve earned every ounce of success. Congratulations! Personally, I’d love a copy of the American edition.

  1228. So glad to see the book is still doing so well, and that the kick butt reviews are still pouring in. Kudos!

  1230. Who knew anxiety could be so funny? You make my day on a regular basis, and I’d treasure a signed copy of your book.

  1231. I want a copy of your book sooo bad. It’s on my Amazon Christmas wish list 7,693 times. Think my husband will get the hint?

  1232. My boyfriend bought me your book (after strong subliminal suggestions on my part) and he came to see you in Chicago. He wanted you to ask me to marry him (in writing) but was told he could only ask for your signature with my name. So now he’s stumped and has to find a different way to propose.

    If I randomly win this signed book, my best friend from college will be the recipient. She’s our kind of people and I’m convinced she desperately needs to read about your life so she can feel somewhat normal.

    PS – Beyoncé’s cousin lives in Door County, WI. I bumped into him randomly last weekend in Egg Harbor at the Chocolate Chicken. When I went on and on about it into my phone to someone, one of the 15 year old girls working at the bakery overheard me and came over to me after I hung up. “Are you serious? Beyoncé’s cousin is here???” Lord.

  1233. I missed you in Chicago because of stupid work! I would love a signed copy. 🙂

  1236. Would love an autographed, audio CD to go with my bookplated book! 🙂

  1237. No one visits Vermont for book signings. Unless they’re local. In which case you can go knock on their door and say, “Hey, if you sign this I won’t leave zucchini in your car. Well, I’ll still leave zucchini in your car, but not as much. Okay, I’ll still be leaving a shit-ton of zucchini in your car, but if you sign this I’ll put it in a bag.”

    I may have had zucchini show up in my car on multiple occasions in various locations. I have never been able to identify who the hell thinks I need that much zucchini; but this summer my windows have stayed up and my doors locked and my seat zucchini free.

  1238. I found your blog through another site, once I read your Blog, I had to read the book. I’ve been raving about you ever since. You actually helped me through a rough time with my Depression and I want to thank you for that. It really helps to know that there are other peopple out there going through the same things as me and having the same thoughts. So Thank You from the bottom of my butt, because it’s bigger than my heart.

  1239. Both your blog and your book have helped me so much in my journey through recovery for my depression and mental illness. You are such a wonderful role model and I’m so happy you are finally coming to Denver!!! :]

  1240. I won’t be able to go see you in Mpls 🙁 so this would make my entire month!!!

  1241. I’d love to win a copy. .. but even if not the book was awesome & my neighbors must have thought I was a lunatic as I sat outside laughing ridiculously loud through most of it 🙂 Thanks for the laughs!

  1242. Your book is so awesome – I tell everyone to pick up a copy of it. Thanks for sharing your life, your story, and for making us laugh. Cheers!

  1244. Based on the number of entries I have about as good of a chance of winning this book as I do the lottery. But I’m commenting in hopes that my luck will be very, very good. =)

  1245. I totally came late to the game … I had no idea of your existence until a few months ago. I went to viist my BFF and my cousin within the same week and they both had copies of your book. They are smart ladies. I logged on to your site at home and fell in love. Please make me a smart lady and send me a copy of my very own.

    PS> I’ll look for small unique taxidermy animals for you!

  1246. If I win, I’m totally buying the book for a friend so that I can read it to her while she’s in labor. I figure, laughter will make it hurt slightly less.

  1247. Today I found out that my beloved kitty has lung cancer and only has a week or two to live. She is my heart and I’m devastated… I really want a signed book…it would make my day. (PS – I wish I was making this up for attention and to get a book, but I’m not. I’d rather have my Roxie over your signed book – no offense – any day.) I love your blog and your book is amazing.

  1248. I know that Toronto thinks it’s the centere of the universe, or at least Canada, but trust me when I say there is so much more to see of our country Like where I live, Ottawa. And Montreal. Actually go to Montreal. It’s a way cooler city. Don’t worry I’ll drive the two hours to see you. That’s how much I love your book. Okay, I love it more than that but not so much that driving to Toronto is a good idea. That would be a little stalkerish. Unless you need a stalker…Let me know.

  1250. You should really pick me. I have a child going to college & cannot afford to buy myself a book, as I will be buying all of HIS! Plus I already read the free teaser on my nook and I really want the rest of the book to read. Also, I freaking Love your sense of humor. We could be BFFs!

  1252. Congrats! I am still looking forward to possibly seeing you in Seattle!

    DO keep up the updates on your book tour and take pics! :))

  1254. Pick me Pick me! I would love to have a hard copy! I have it on my kindle , and I sure wish you could’ve came to charleston, SC!

  1255. I’d love to win a UK copy of your book, just had to take mine back to the library as there is a queue waiting for it! I would love my own copy to introduce your writing to my friends. 🙂

  1256. I bought your book the day it came out, tore through it, immediately passed it on to a friend who I said MUST read it, and then I assume she passed it on a la traveling red dress. A lovely thought, in theory, but I need another copy to keep this time. Thanks.

  1257. i learned about your book during a book discussion on Bye Bye, Pie by June Gardens. After reading the excerpt on Amazon I immediately downloaded a copy to my kindle app, told all my friend and blogged about it as well. Laughing so hard I was choking. Will send you the hospital bill.

  1258. an audio version? so i can listen to you in the car and drowned out the sound of my own ridiculous laughter (and, let’s be honest, THE VOICES)? that would be lovely. we all thinks so……. o.O

  1259. I know this is totally a long shot…so I’ll give ya the whole “I’m your biggest fan” and “It would make my LIFE to win a copy of your book” ( which is all true) but I’m just throwing this out there at the mercy of the internet Gods, or Goddesses, or whoever controls the web…Bill Gates maybe, that I’ll get picked! I’m coming to see you in Portland! My friends are driving 5 hours here to meet you, and we’re all going to go to the book store like the uber fans we are, and squeel with delight! You rock Jenny! Really have helped me in a lot of ways in my own life, and I thank you for being you! 🙂

  1262. You deserve the success…. Wish we were closer to Toronto to come for the tour visit!

  1263. I would love a copy of the American version! Congrats on rocking the bestseller list! I would toast to your continued awesome-ness, but I only have green tea, and I’m not sure it’s okay to toast with that. Oh, screw it! A toast to you for being so neat. 🙂

  1265. Oh my Sharona, I’d love an audio version. I loved hearing you read a chapter in Maryland, and I’d love hearing you read the whole thing.

  1267. Hooray! You so deserve this success. I can’t wait for the sequel! Keep on rocking, and tell Eastern Canada I said hi.

  1268. I need a copy of this book! I could buy one… and I will… but it would be nice if I received one for free and then I was able to spend my money on your book for a friend. A mission of bloggess if you will.

  1269. You are my evil twin. Well, maybe I’m the evil one, but it’s a close contest. I have my eye on a 5′ pink flamingo near my house. Will it be bad if I steal it in the night? Nah…I’ll just leave a note…”Knock, knock, motherfucker!”. You are awesome.

  1270. I should have ditched my hellish job to get my book signed when you were in Texas.

  1271. I’m so excited to read your book, that even if you don’t pick me, I’ll still buy it!

  1273. You are a truly wonderful person, please never stop being that way. An ex-boyfriend gave me your book for my birthday. I haven’t finished it yet, because I read a chapter every time life gets too hard to handle on my own, and I thank you for being there for me. All of your tours have been incredibly far away from where I live, and I don’t have a reliable transportation method. I would love a signature from you.

  1274. When I was reading your book, I would be almost in tears one chapter and then laughing like a crazy women the next (fun fact: the more you try to stifle your giggles while reading in bed, the more you shake , and the more your husband wakes up and looks at you like you’re nuts.) So thanks for that.

  1275. I would live a copy of the audio book! You deserve all this success. Enjoy it!

  1277. My mom has always told me that I should write a book. My response has always been, “I would, if only I could harness my funny.” You put into words my struggle with anxiety, my family and the funny that lives within all of the insanity. For that, I thank you.

  1282. I would absolutely love to have a copy of your book! I’m hoping to find the funds to buy it at some point, as I want to help you financially because you deserve it! But if I win it, that would be sweet and when I can, I’ll buy a copy to give to someone else. I really wish I could see you in Toronto! Sigh :S

  1283. Jenny–

    I’m halfway through your book and literally keep my boyfriend awake at night laughing out loud at it. There is a slight (and when I say slight I mean my boyfriend can’t make up his damn mind) chance that we’ll be in Denver when you are. I will fight, scream, and scratch my way to your signing if we are (don’t be scared, I’m really quite gentle). Anyway, this is a lot of rambling to tell you that I LOVE reading your blog and have even started my own. http://www.whatsagrownup.blogspot.com
    Keep making the world a better place one laugh at a time.

  1284. Jenny, you know you totally deserve this right? You deserve the fame, the mini fortune, the honor, and the recognition. You have brought awareness for both depression and self-harm, you have brought laughter to millions, and for those fellow depression sufferers you have brought hope.

    I don’t need a signed copy of your book, I have it already in my Kindle, but you should be so proud of yourself. I know I am proud of you!

  1286. It’s bananas that you’re thanking us, when you have given us so much. I would love the British copy, since my American one is journeying from friend to friend across the country right now as we all tell each other, “Seriously, you have to read this book.”
    Erm, on that note, sorry about the nick in your sales due to my self-starter library activities?? Oops.

  1287. I really, really, really, really want a copy of your book! A signed copy would be just awesome!

  1288. Ooooh! This summer’s blog posts have proven to be great reading, but I’d love the chance to curl up with a non-electronic version for a couple hours. Wish we could swing a visit to one of your tour stops!

  1289. Although I can’t say I’m jealous of all the traveling you are doing… (I am terrified of most of the people in airports) I can say i’m jealous that you get to go to bed knowing that you make thousands of people laugh every day. The fact that my husband and I both can agree that your blog is fantastic says it all for me because we have totally different types of funny so when he calls me saying “Jen you HAVE GOT to go see what she is doing to poor victor” I rush as fast as I can and then I argue why your point of view makes so much sense. 🙂

    So you got one of us in each of your corners and I wish you the best on this last leg of your tour!

  1290. I can’t wait to read your book. I stumbled upon your blog months ago and I haven’t been able to get enough since. One moment you’re making me snort with laughter (snot bubbles included!) and the next moment you’re reminding me that I’m not alone with my depression and bringing tears to my eyes with how perfectly you express it in words that I have struggled to find my entire life. I would love to get an autographed copy!

  1291. I recently read your book while recovering from a double mastectomy. Thank you so much for giving me so much laughter in an otherwise shitty time. And for helping me feel free to type “shitty”.

  1292. Your success seems well-deserved, since every time I read your blog I laugh out loud.

  1294. Loved your book like everyone else who has commented. Being bi-polar, it definitely resonated. Your family is much cooler than mine, however. On a side note – I got the Traveling Pink Dress today.

  1295. Hope you have fun on the book tour! And, thanks for introducing me to Doctor Who. My entire house is now addicted to the doctor 🙂

  1297. Holy Smokes! I just about got tired, trying to find the bottom of the comment page! It’s like your famous or something?! Wierd huh?
    Keep up the good work darling. You deserve every last second of this sacred thing called fame!

  1298. I would love to win a copy of your book! Congrats on all your well deserved success!

  1302. Congratulations on the book!!! I want to read it so desperately but am broke and would never attempt to obtain an illegal copy and steal proceeds from you. so this is perfect! pick me! 🙂

  1303. I hope I can win a hard copy of your book! Have a good time on your book tour…

  1305. I would love the UK hardcover if there’s any left at this time. Thanks. Oh,.and I saw Breaking Dawn last night, you’re totally right about the wolves.

  1307. I’m reading the kindle version of your book. If you’re signing and sharing a ‘real’ one, I’d love to have a copy! You make me laugh!

  1308. I read your book in less than 2 days, I could NOT put it down! I loved it! I would love to check out the UK version.

  1309. I’d love to win a copy. If I could drive or had the money (or time) to come to one of the stops on the tour I would. I would have come to the ones that were closer to me, but my mom could’t take me. I love your blog and tweets and I can relate to so many of them. (I’m sorry if there are any misspellings. I can barley spell my name right most of the time)

  1310. So, I was introduced to your blog last week. We were wasting time at our Junior League volunteer shift and read the initial Beyonce blog. Because that’s what we do in the JL. Classy. Since then I’ve been hooked. I have read and laughed and cried and then the amazing happened. I learned something. I had blown a fuse in my kitchen, but rather than risking shutting down the electricity in my 30-floor apartment building, I decided to relocate my microwave to my bedroom and move on with my life. Then I read the post about your snocone machine and how Victor fixed the same problem, and VOILA! I can now use my kitchen again! Who says you can’t trust everything you read on the internets?

  1311. I have a well loved copy of your book; i don’t want anything as a giveaway since i was able to to afford a copy of my own.

    However!

    If you pick me I would love donate an audio copy to our hip little library in town in both our names sos I could pretend to know you.

    Too creepy?

    *sigh*

  1312. I would love to win one – I also love Changing Hands! Yay for awesome local booksellers – thanks for supporting them 🙂

  1313. I have loved reading your book – although it did get me some funny looks on the train. I hope you enjoy/tolerate the rest of your tour

  1314. Right now my husband is reading your book as a bedtime story for our 8-month old, Diego. He’s going to have one hell of a sense of humor when he grows up!

  1315. Only discovered your blog a few weeks ago and the giggling/cackling hasn’t stopped since. You’re brilliant!

  1317. I loved this book. I read it during my niece’s high school graduation, because it started at 8:00 pm and lasted three hours. I laughed so much my mother in law started reading over my shoulder. Now I’m buying a copy to send to my sister, who could use some laughs.

  1318. Excellent! Even a 1 in 1305 ( and counting ) chance has got to be worth a shot. Maybe if fate ( or at least Jenny) smiles upon me, I can get a British copy for my wife, after trying to Pre-order the book for her birthday!

  1320. Yep, you totally rock all kinds of awesome! Even though I very nearly died laughing whilst reading your book. Still, worth it!

  1321. Your book is awesome. I would love an autographed copy to give to my friend who is in a dark place right now

  1322. I look forward to meeting you in San Diego. I will bring a hardcopy, either the one I will win here or the one I will buy at the bookstore. I really enjoyed the Kindle version.

  1323. I am so excited that you’re coming to Toronto, Jenny! I am the one who asked if you could make it to Toronto during your Twitter video stream 🙂 I’ll have to beg my mom to finish reading my copy of your book so I can have it back in time to (hopefully) get it signed by you! Wow. Things I want that badly hardly ever happen lol. I cannot wait for next week. I may just have to buy your audio CD while I’m there too 😀

    See you next week!

  1324. I would .love a copy of your book. Good luck on the tour wish you were coming closer to me.

  1325. Congrats on the book tour! I would love to win a copy of the book!
    And I’m with Leila. If that is what’s going on, it’s a must have!

  1326. So, I finally got a copy of the book here in little old New Zealand. I’m a librarian so I did the librarian thing of ordering it through our library and luckily bieng one of the first on the waiting list for it. I was reading it in our kitchen cupboard (no really, its like the size of a toilet cubicle, open at the top and everything,health and safety WIN!) and I was giggling so much (it was the racoon with jams, it killed me) that patron’s kept coming up and asking why there was some batty librarian out the back making a racket and i had to come out and show everyone. Turns out half the people wanted to read it and half of those people couldnt be bothered waiting for a copy through the library so jsut went and got one at the local bookseller. THIS IS WHY LIBRARIES ARE GOOD FOR AUTHORS.

    The end.

    Thanks for an awesome lunch hour read, you have made my week.

  1327. Got your book from my psychiatrist because she said it would help me put life in perspective and look at it with more laughter. I have since recommended it to all my friends. THANK YOU for putting down your memories on paper. I hope another one follows!
    And though I can’t make it to the last leg of the tour and didn’t have time to see you in Charlotte NC (you definitely should come to Columbia SC!!!) I still wish you a pleasant time. You’re doing an awesome job and I enjoy reading your blog. 🙂

  1328. Wish I could make it to your signing in Toronto! Congrats on all your success! <3

  1329. Love your blog! Haven’t read the book yet but it’s next to my list!

  1330. I so want to hear you read the whole book, not just the chapters you did on our book talk. Btw, when are we having another video get together?
    connie

  1332. I got caught numerous times reading your book on the nook at work. Since you’re not coming anywhere near podunk Illinois it’d be awesome to win 🙂

  1334. Your book is as real and funny and sad and crazy as life itself. Thank you for sharing yourself with the world.

  1335. While I agree that everyone should find a way to tour Australia, I think it’s hilarious anyone would consider it “hill-billy.” Maybe I’m confused.

  1336. Sad I couldn’t make it to one of your signings! Would love the American version!

  1337. I would love a copy! I like the whimsical nature of the British cover 😀

  1338. i check your blog every other day to get my laughs In for the week. I live in the middle of nowhere so unfortunately no book signings close to me – but I would love, love, love, LOVE, LOOOOVVVVVEEE to win a copy!! 😉

  1339. Oh, please, please, please. I entered the last time you offered this and unfortunately, I was one of the 5,693 unlucky few not to be chosen. It was close.

    Seriously, I could use a laugh right now in the form of a good book. Suhriously.

    {Crossing my freakishly long french fry toes AND fingers}

  1341. Oh wait! Shoot! I forgot to say which one I wanted. I would gladly take the British version or the US version! (I can’t handle being read to, otherwise I would say I would take the audio book, too.) 😉

  1342. You haven’t made it to my neck of the woods, and since I’m… oh, 8 2/3 months pregnant, I probably won’t make it up to Toronto to get you to sign a copy myself. So… I hope I win!

  1343. Holy hell. The number of comments already is insane! Your blog is my favorite and #1 on my daily list of blog checks. Dying to read the book! Winning the US Version would make my day!!

  1344. A loud wail arose from all of Kansas City when we realized you would not be visiting us. But, I’ll take the British version of the book if I win as consolation.

  1345. I am so freakin’ excited you are coming to Arizona! We have a group coming to see you!! XOXOX

  1346. Wish you were making it to the west coast, but will enjoy knowing you’re on Canadian soil. Got my copy on iTunes, a signed hard copy would make my head explode with rapture!

  1347. I can’t wait for you to come to Minnesota! I’m sure you’ll be able to find a ton of taxidermy here!

  1348. I loved your book, and I’d love to win a copy, especially the British version! The cover artwork is amazing.

  1349. my husband and I were driving in our neighborhood and saw a place with giant chickens. We both laughed. I told him 10 more years and ‘knock knock motherf@$!er.’ 15 years really is the giant metal chicken anniversary.

  1350. I was extremely lucky to get to meet you in Annapolis. I’m glad you’re still on the best-seller list! Congrats!

  1352. I so badly want to see you when you come to Toronto. I am fan girling like crazy!!!

  1353. I still haven’t picked up my own copy of the book yet (damn bills!) but what I have sneaked peaks of from my friend’s copy is pure gold. Can’t wait to sit down and read the full book once I get the chance! 😀

  1354. I would love your book! Reading your blog has definitely gotten me the most strange looks when sitting with my laptop in a room full of people.

  1356. Tomorrow is my birthday, and I will be 33 with 12 years experience. You’ve taught me how to call a liar a FUCKING LIAR

  1357. I would LOVE a hard copy! I can’t help but look for Beyonce’s everywhere now!

  1358. OhMyBloggess! I’ll probably think of something clever to write after I submit this mundane comment. Gimme a copy of your book and I’ll bake you a homemade cherry pie or chocolate bourbon pecan pie or something. Yep.

  1359. (cont) this year, and for that and all the laff-estive (laughter + perspective), I thank you! And you know the best part? I got a box from Zazzle on it in the mail today — maybe my fondest with for a Beyonce anything will come true!

  1360. Hi! I’m so happy you’re coming to Seattle! I’m working hard to get at least one of the days off!

  1361. Your book and blog kept my friends entertained so much throughout the year during our free periods. I helped a lot with the stresses of high school. Cheers!

  1362. Congratulations on your success! If you ever head to Australia and tour, I will be there 🙂

  1363. I think it’s spectacular to see how well you’ve been doing. And you deserve it! Your book was amazing, I couldn’t stop laughing. Thank you so much for the opportunity to win an autographed copy! It would be so amazing if I would win. ^_^

  1364. Okay, so seriously…anytime I see you write “the last leg of my tour” I begin to imagine that you are going to tell a story about a one legged human/creature. But it never happens.

  1365. I bought, read and loved the book when it first came out. I can’t make the Toronto signing and am terribly sad that I can’t get there. Enjoy the tour. If I win, I would like the Audible book, please.

  1367. I was soo sad to miss your book signing in Boston ( I was sick that night), a british copy of your book would totally make up for it — I already have a signed copy from the bookstore where you did your signing here 🙂

  1368. I read the post about your daughter’s bloody handprint pillow present aloud to my sister and we both nearly peed our pants laughing. You are taxidermy alligator fantastic! Thanks for all the burnt calories from laughing!:D

  1370. I listened to your book, sorry got it from the library! Hey I am a high school librarian single mom of 4, from Dallas,stuck here in Columbus, oh. My Goodreads review encouraged everyone to read/listen to your book, so they could know how f—-ing fabulous girls from Texas are!!! Please write another book, meanwhile your blog is awesome……

  1371. I’d love a copy! I love reading your blog and can’t wait to read your book! Also, come to Chicago!

  1372. Loved your book. By far the funniest thing I’ve ever read. Laughing out loud lying on beach makes people stare. Jealous!!! Thanks for making laugh!

  1377. I need a copy to mark, sticker, hi-lite, etc., since I will eventually read it completely out loud to anyone within breathing distance. And…… it’s SO Texas …..

  1378. I enjoy you so much, and cannot get enough of the puppet print outs! Thank you!

  1381. My friend told me about your blog and that you remind her of me. The whole irreverent sense of humor thing. So I took a look. That might be true, but I think it’s more like the benzos. You had me at “God, he’s like the Oprah of Heaven” … even God thinks that’s funny. And He’s right.

    Please give me a free book. God will think that is even funnier.

  1383. When I read your blog it makes me feel funny by association. I was inspired by an old post to ask my boss to rate me on a scale of awesome on my review instead of the sales numbers. Unfortunately he didn’t go for it. I think he nearly wet himself he was laughing so hard. Totally worth it since I won’t be getting a bonus this year.

  1385. So I assume we won’t be seeing you in Australia? Poor showing Lawson, poor showing. Do you know how much we have to pay for new release books in this backward country??? I have two cats that are eating me out of house and home and a no-good husband with an expensive addiction to online poker and fancy ice cream. Also, my roof is leaking. I’m also not fussy. American or English version. Trade you for pics of my cats?

  1386. Thank you for the great book. I have shared the love and gotten someone else hooked as well. I hope to see you in MN! (and thanks for the chance to win a copy too! :))

  1387. This would totally make my life if I got a signed copy of the book. I moved across two states recently, and in the process of moving I haven’t had time or resources to pick up the book. Luckily, an awesome coworker at my shiny new job was reading it during her lunch break and let me borrow it. You make my world a happier place, Bloggess. <3

  1388. I love you, Jenny. You are truly the bee’s knees.

    If I’m selected, I’d love the British version because I admire the whimsy on the cover.

  1389. Don’t need a book, not that I wouldn’t love your signature, but your words play out of my phone, so I would have to mail my phone to you, then I couldn’t get calls from my friends, wait, they don’t call anyway, oh well… anyway, it’s hard to drive and read at the same time. Actually, just letting you know that your book is so very funny and I am enjoying every minute of it. I especially enjoy audio books when the author narrates them, as you did. It adds another dimension.

  1391. I would love to have an American copy. I have been reading your blog and would love to read your book!

  1392. Okay, I’m trying another time for the audio version. But oh! There are soooooo many comments already!

  1393. I read your book on my Kindle while I was traveling overseas. I really had a hard time stifling all my laughter on a quiet train or plane… You are one of the funniest bitches I “know”! I mean that in the nicest way (since I am a proud B-card holder myself).

    Love love love your book, and I would LOVE to give one to a friend! Your kind of funny is something that should be shared. Seriously.

  1394. I have nothing fun or cool to say . .. which is sad but not that rare. I am going to just say it I want a book 🙂 Love your blog keep up the awesomness.

  1395. Hmmm- how to convince you to pick me, pick me?? I’m getting married in October and the British version of your book would make a divine wedding gift….both my fiance and I enjoy your wacky antics. Or rather, when I read your blog or segments of the book out loud, I just KNOW his incredulous look and nervous laughter are a result of his total awe of all the hilarity.

  1396. I’d love to have a copy of your book. I want to read all about your unique, awesome, strange adventures!

  1397. Just finished your book at the beach and could not stop laughing. Fantastic!

  1398. I would love the audio cd. And in honor of your bestseller, my husband and I are adopting a stray! Well, that’s mot really the reason, but the timing of both events was too perfect not to tie them together! LOVED the book!

  1400. So…5 hours later I realized I needed to say which version I wanted…yes I’m a little slow on the uptake sometimes… ANYWAY, after some thinking I realized that although I am coming to buy the book and have you sign it in person, having it read to me would be just as awesome! I would LOVE to win the audio version! What?! I’m lazy sometimes, and I like funny shit read to me! K Thx bye!

  1401. I would love the audio book!!! I think it is fantastic that you are touring. As a Canadian I’m so excited you are coming to Toronto! I will be taking time off work to make sure I can come see you!

  1403. Would love a signed copy of your book. I have it ebook version and laughed all the way through it, reading some parts out loud to my boyfriend.

  1404. I would love the audiobook. I mean who wouldn’t want to go for a run and play the “try not to trip from laughing my ass off” game?

  1405. LOVED the book. Read the Kindle edition and would love, love, LOVE the hardcover. I couldn’t stop laughing.

  1406. Would love to see an audiobook happen. I’ll volunteer my voice…if people don’t mind my laughing all the way through it.

  1407. I am leaving a comment in hopes that I’ll win your giveaway. And I’m freaking g out a little because I don’t know if you are selecting comments at random to win, or if my comment is supposed to convey why I deserve to win, or convince you that I am funny enough to win, or desperate, or sad, or excited, or whatever. And to top it off I am using my phone to type this and it has decided to misbehave, and it is taking me wayyyy too long to type an awkwardly worded comment in order to try to win an autographed book from you. (But I hope I win)

  1408. omg, you are coming to my town. *fangurl squeee*

    oh and your reading the audiobook got me in trouble btw. I kept laughing out loud and my boss thought I was laughing at him.

  1409. Not only did I laugh out loud in inappropriate settings (problaby not acceptable to ready this book in church during a sermon), but I found myself walking up to total strangers just so I could read a particularly funny section out loud to them. I am giving this book as a Christmas presen to all of my severely depressed friends.

  1410. Actually, I owe you thanks. Thanks for the laughs. Thanks for reminding me it’s okay to be yourself, even if that means people look at you funny. Oh, and thank you for the giant metal chicken obsession. But mostly, thank you for inspiring me to write. Even if I never make it big enough to have a book tour, I’m having tons of fun.

    You rock.

  1411. Can’t wait to see you in Toronto next week. So far, my partner and I have each purchased a copy of your book (because we can’t share it nicely). I am debating buying the audiobook for my sister for her birthday. And maybe for everyone on my list for Christmas.

  1413. oh, how i hope the random number generator picks my comment to win an american language version of your book. i know you won’t read this comment otherwise & no one else will likely read it unless their own comment comes within 4 after mine. thanks for playing!

  1415. Loved the book, (I had the audio version) , and is on my Christmas list for EVERYONE.

  1417. OMIGAWDSYOUARECOMINGTOSEATTLE-ELYAY!!!!!11!!

    Also, the fact that you’ll be at a Costco makes you the OFFICIAL bomb-fuckin’-diggity! Adore you!!!

  1418. I’d love to know the story behind the squirly, whirly, wild and wonderful weirdness of the title font on the UK edition v the restrained classic font selection for the US edition. Both covers are awesome, but there just has to be a story. Who let loose and went crazy-go-nuts on those serifs?

  1419. Best of luck in TO, I’m Canadian but live in North Carolina, it was a radio show you did here where I was first introduced to you and I’m so glad I was listening that day!

  1420. Your blog has sent me to so many other cool places on the internets (which is why I’m particularly fond of the weekly wrap-up :)!

    Aside: It’s too bad you didn’t win the bidding on that pony. I’d totally advertise on a pony, if I had anything to advertise.

  1421. I was the girl at the New Jersey stop of your book tour wearing the red dress. I told you how my boyfriend’s father had recently passed away. While it has been rough dealing with the loss, we have been there for each other through this and other obstacles. Being able to read your book and your blog has been a lovely escape when life gets to be too much. And the pictures of Hunter S. Thomcat have helped keep me sane, so please keep them coming!!

    Much love to you and your family.

  1422. I am commenting but not to win, because you are coming to the west coast! Me and 3 other ladies are road tripping it up to ptown from Southern Oregon to meet up with two other ladies to come see you. We are extremely excited and calling it our “epic estrogen-fueled road trip.” It will be amazing! I warn you ahead of time, i will be all nervous and goobery. Emotional goober, not snot goober, that’s just gross.

  1423. Wow…you sure know how to get a few comments! Ha. I would LOVE a signed copy of your book. Thanks for making me laugh.

  1424. Not gonna lie, I would love to win a signed copy of your book. I missed your appearance near me because at that time you were just that crazy blogger my wife kept going on about. I was willing to watch our daughter while she went, but she had a scheduling conflict she could not break. Which was just as well since a short time later, I read the book and became a huge fan myself. If I had read the book beforehand, I would have come without my wife (daughter in tow), despite the potential for envy-related marital discord.

    Since then I have given away two more copies of your book to other awesome women I know (in addition to the one I gave my wife to begin with). I’ve already elsewhere expressed my own admiration for your writing (by contrasting you favorably with a drug dealer; made sense at the time), so I’ll just say again: Thank you and congratulations on your much deserved success!

  1425. I just bought a house, a new used car, and brought home a newborn baby boy I birthed. Needless to say, I am poor and in need of a good laugh. I am tired of waiting in line for the hold from the library – I could use a copy of my own! 😉

  1426. I would love to win one! I soooo desperately want to read your book. And one day I swear I will buy it! Until then, keeping fingers crossed for winning one!

  1427. Still waiting for the Aussie visit Jenny!! LOL – in the meantime, I think you need a good old-fashioned Aussie reviewer from the bush, don’t you? (Obscure but undoubtedly tempting).
    🙂
    BB

  1429. Your book is following “50 Shades of Grey” as our book club’s next selection. It should have been first, but “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”. Yeah 12 more fans for you!

  1430. Congratulations! The first post I ever stumbled across was the one about Beyonce the huge metal chicken, and I havent stopped laughing since. Thanks for bringing so much fun into things.

  1431. Oh, forgot to say–I’d love any version of the book, but maybe audio just because when the authors reads it, you get to hear it the way they heard it in their head. Thanks!

  1432. I want to take you to bed with me. If it’s in the (American) book form, so be it. I’ve just run out of books to keep me company in bed.

  1433. I love free things! And I haven’t read your book yet, but I so want to.

  1434. Jenny Lawson, I’m a LONG time reader and a very light commenter, and let me just say, it’s been an AMAZING journey…Started reading at the point when you had your famous war of wits with the famous blogger that shall not be named…It’s been terrific to sit on the sidelines…watch your popularity bloom, and with it, your confidence. Honestly, I couldn’t ever thank you enough for all the enjoyment you’ve added to my work days {ahem}… I mean my personal time…(to be honest, the job I have now, I DO truly only get to read in the evenings, but I found you back at my old job when my position required me to categorize blogs on the net). All that to say, just want to mention that from your dead menagerie, right on down to your alive and kicking crew @ your home, I’ve enjoyed every last cooped-up-in-a-bathroom-untangling-twine moment of time I’ve dedicated to your site. Please pick me to be a proud recipient of your American signed copy of “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”. Thank you. That is all.

  1435. You deserve every bit of success you’ve found with the book! I’m pretty darn broke right now, so I know it’ll be WAY too long before I manage to purchase a copy for myself. I totally will! But winning a SIGNED copy would be extra super amazing!

  1436. >>>Light not being THAT comment, just in the past, I may have only shared a couple of words of praise, but tonight, as you can see, I felt like pouring out a long rambling stalkerish note of praise! :o-) Thanks for hearing it out!

  1437. I saw an antique purse for sale…with a taxidermy baby gater on it…but I didn’t have my camera! I’m so going to go back WITH a camera to snap a shot. Is it a bad thing that I’m looking for dead animals now? 🙂

  1438. Hi Bloggess,
    I recently found your blog whilst on stumbleupon.com and have been a reader everyday since I’ve found it. I think you are absolutely hysterical. I’ve never won anything before so you should pick me to win your book! (Or at least send me Jefferson Peabody— I want it sooo bad!) Thanks Bloggess—Rachel

  1441. I really love this Blog, I think it is so funny! Whenever I am having a bad day, I already read the latest post and my day is instantly brighter! Keep it going!

  1443. Oh, why couldn’t you come somewhere close to me? But, I suppose you can’t come to everyone since that would be a very very very long tour. OK, you’re forgiven.

  1444. Squeakin in by the skin of my teeth. Congratulations, though! You deserve it. Making people laugh is a gift. 🙂

  1445. Just finished reading your book. After successive belly laughs my husband asked me to read it to him and I spent half the time reading out loud and half the time laughing hysterically. My daughter is now reading your book. Thank you for sharing yourself, your humor and your wit. You’re completely incredible!

  1446. I would love, love, love a signed copy of the American version of your book! If I don’t win, though, that’s okay, because I’ve already made plans to see you when you visit Portland in August. 🙂

  1448. Ooooh. Pick me. ‘Cause my library doesn’t have it, and my discretionary budget disappeared in a hat today. But it’s a nice hat.

  1450. 1390th! Oh wait, I suppose you’re only supposed to do that when you post first….I’d love a copy of your book!

  1452. Would also pass the book around work. We provide affordable housing and housing resources to people who are homeless, people with disabilities, most with severe and persistent mentall illness, people with low income and other vulnerable people in southeastern Michigan. Please feel free to check us out at http://www.communityhousingnetwork.org

  1454. Love your book so much that I gave it to a friend to borrow who is going through a tough time and definitely needed the laugh. Turns out that she was going through so much more than she shared, cause she took her kids and left. Don’t blame her one bit — it’s about time — but I’m afraid that the book has gone with her. I miss her (almost) as much as i miss the book!! Would love another copy…… And this time, I’m not sharing!!

  1455. Thank you for your proper use of the word literally. If one more person says, “I literally blew a gasket,” I’m asking for video proof.

  1457. Your success is much deserved, Jenny. I loved the book and I’ll never look at snowcones the same way again.

  1458. I’d love a copy of the book – your blog cracks me up, so being able to read the book in public is sure to be a sight to behold!

  1460. Crap. Crap. Crap. And more crap! I work in London and can’t make it to T.O. for 7 pm. And I would love to be there. Any chance you could hide in the loo long enough for me to get there? I’d text ya and even bring you a drinky=poo. Dang

  1461. Love your blog, and I direct all my friends to read about Beyonce! I never laughed out loud over a blog before I read that! So pleased your book is doing so well……PICK ME! PICK ME! PICK ME!

  1462. I started your book this weekend and am halfway through it. Finding your work couldn’t have come at a better time for me. I’m going through a divorce; while there is no malice between my ex-wife and I, it’s been heartbreaking. Thank you for your humor and insight.

  1463. Loved, loved your book! I’d love to have a copy to share with friends.

  1464. Please come to the UK where I will host you in my flat whilst you sign books all day> -signed, American patriot in London

  1465. Audio! Everytime I try to read your book to my kids I’m laughing so hard, they can’t understand me!

  1466. I would definitely love the audio cd. We already have the book, and my dh, Jim, is reading it. He needs the laughs right now, going through some scary stuff right now. I am, tooo. So, winning would help us both!

    Thanks, Jennie, for keeping our spirits up when things are rough. Just so you know, Jim was reading some of your book to me while I was in the prep room for cataract surgery! it helped!

  1467. Congrats on staying on the best seller list for so long! That’s awesome!

  1468. Jesus, just gave myself carpal tunnel scrolling down…
    FINALLY read your book this weekend. Damned library didn’t order enough copies and I was on hold forever and a day. Plus an hour or two. The book saved my weekend, as I was visiting my (very lovely but very conservative I WILL NOT DISCUSS HEALTHCARE WITH YOU!) in-laws.
    I laughed until I cried, which was awesome, ’cause it gave me a reason to expell much needed tears without a whole scene. Damn woman, you’re funny. I’d hide in a bathroom under a lampshade with you anyday. Wait, get your own lampshade, I’ll share the bathroom. 😉

  1469. I love love love your writing. Thanks for sharing your talent and giving me something so hilarious to share with my friends. Oh.. and my coworkers and I have unofficially named our boss’s unborn baby Beyonce and refuse to refer to it in any other way. Hopefully this sticks until well after it is born, too.. all I can think about is a giant chicken in a baby stroller. It’s sort of what gets me through most days. 🙂

  1470. Loved the book. Read it on my sister’s kindle, which would be inconvenient for you to sign. Would probably pee my pants if I am one of the chosen ones to receive an autographed copy. Let’s be honest. I’d probably poop my pants. But since I’m home, nobody would know. Except my kid would tell everyone because she has diarrhea mouth and tells everything. That’s 2 references to poop in one comment. Surely I am the winner.

  1471. I *really* want the audio version. I can only imagine the inflections your voice would give these stories. The book touched my heart but I feel I have not heard the whole story until you tell it.

  1472. You rock and so does your book! I enjoyed it immensely and would feel honored with an autographed copy of anything fro you! 🙂 Enjoy your success… it is well deserved!

  1473. I would love the American version. I was going to buy this for my sister, but she passed away in January. She is the one who got me reading your posts! You and she have a similar sense of humor. 🙂 KKMF.

  1476. I’d love a copy of your book! I’m 9 months pregnant and ready to pop at any time… Maybe your book will help distract me from the extraordinary pain of pushing a bulbous-headed human out of my lady garden. At the very least, I can use it to bludgeon my husband during labor.

  1477. I bought the book for me and the audio version for my daughter in law. I would love to have an autographed anything so the next time I get rejected for a job I can tell them I have it and they can’t even look at it from across the room because they didn’t hire me. Then they will cry for missing out on how awesome I am.

  1481. Audio, please? Signed, even better. Could use a friendly voice on my way to a job that makes me eat it, every day.

  1482. I used to think I was around the 75th percentile for wit and sarcasm, but then I started reading your blog and realized that I really need to practice more. Congrats on you book and your ability to make women who haven’t had babies wet their pants.

  1483. I heard from a little birdie that this book should be on my must-read list. I told the fucking bird to quit shitting on my windshield before he speaks to me again. However, I would love to win your book. I need a laugh…and your autograph. Need.

  1484. Hoping to win a copy–bought it on Kindle and was laughing so hard in the carpool line that I cried and the moms in the other cars looked at me like I’d gone mad.

  1485. An Audio version would be awesome… I try to read passages to my family but I’m laughing so hard they just give up and I’m no! Wait, let my try again! This way they can listen to YOU, how awesome would that be? 🙂

  1489. Funniest book I’ve read in a long time–one I really need to add to my personal collection. My new favorite thing is to end stories about annoying people with “…so I punched him in the face. But only in my head.”

  1490. Love your blog, love your book, love how you face depression and anxiety head on and with humor and let the rest of the world know that its ok to have days when you need to hide under the bed. And thanks to you my strange fascination with taxidermied squirrels is the least of my issues!

  1491. Congratulatioons on your well deserved success. I have the ebook version on my IPad and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I was supposed to get a signed copy when you stopped by Miami on the book tour but I was kidnapped by my friends when I was heading over to the bookstore for my bachelorette party. I would LOVE to win the audio book! Thanks for the laughs.

  1492. Awww, going to miss you in Toronto, unfortunately. I lent my sister your book and she laughed so hard, she cried (I believe it had to do with the squirrel puppet…). I have now introduced you to my family. I’m sure they will thank me forever.

    You totally deserve to be on the bestseller list. Enjoy your stopover here in Canada! 🙂

  1493. Omg Jenny, I am so stoked that you are coming to Toronto! I’m trying to get out of work so I can come see you! I’ve rounded up a posse just in case I can’t make it… They will represent! Lol.

    Don’t suppose you can tuck Nate Fillion or Wil Wheaton in your suitcase too can you? Cause then it would truly be THE. BEST. DAY. EVER!! But it’s damned close already! 🙂

    Thank you for making me laugh on days I was sure I could only cry.

  1495. I too would love the audio book!! Wishing you were coming to Vancouver BC. Maybe with the next book, huh? Huh??? 😉

  1496. Would SO love to see you in Minneapolis but will be at my 29th high school reunion. No really, it’s the 29th and not the 30th. An autographed American version would *almost* make me feel better about missing you…

  1497. Oh heavens, having the audiobook with you reading, I would never stop laughing! Congratulations again on your deserved success!

  1498. I am SO glad that I was introduced to your blog. And not to sound stalker-ish or weird, but you make my life SO SO SO much better!!! (good thing weird is ok here!)

  1500. After this tour, if you’re bored, you could always come to Jacksonville, FL. Just a thought, a hint, well just keep it rolling around in the back of your mind. Please?? Anyway, safe and fun filled trip to Toronto!

  1501. Lets see, I have the audible version, the kindle version, now I just need a signed hard copy to round it off.

  1502. You are spectacular. No shit your book’s still on the bestseller list! Best wishes for the last leg of your book tour!

  1503. Oh oh me, me, pick me! Haha! Audio version for me pretty please with sugar on top! I’ll be coming to see you in Seattle. Is there a book limit to signing? I have been telling everyone here in Edmonton and they want me to bring their book to get signed! Haha! Can’t wait!!! 😀

  1504. I am the one about whom a friend emailed you about my trepidation on coming into a crowd and city to see you.

    “Just reassure her that the place is filled with people exactly like us and there are tons of people who make surprise friends in line. :)”

    Thank you.
    As much as I would love to win a signed book, it would totally let me off the hook for venturing into the city to get one in person!

  1505. So the last time I won something was when I was a pre-teen playing bingo at a campground. Thirteen dollars! If I won this giveaway it would totally trump that memory. Plus I would like the British version and I would read it entirely in a British accent inside my head.

  1506. Pretty pretty please pick me! I would love a signed copy of the American version. I pre-ordered one, got a signed bookplate, read the book ravenously, and then gave it to a friend who needed to laugh so deep that strangers would become alarmed. And so I do not have a copy anymore, and I need one for my bookshelf. Also, I love you irrationally for your perfect, perfect brokenness, and the example of how to battle your demons with exquisite integrity, humor, and sass.

  1507. Dreaming of your encore tour that will include Ohio! Thanks for all you do.

  1508. Yay! I’d love the american printing of your book.

    On another note, just saw your tweet with Hailey in the hospital. I hope everything is ok 🙁

  1509. Good luck on your continuing book tour! If I still had the Mexican dressed flea wedding couple I bought on Olvera Street in Los Angeles as a kid in the 50’s, I’d send them to you to round out your collection.

  1510. I am the proud owner of a hard copy which I purchased at my local Powell’s. I would be thrilled to have the audio version or another hard copy to share with my parents, who I have gleefully exposed to your blog.

  1511. I would love nothing more than to win a CD version of your book! I am in nursing school full-time which keeps me from sitting down and reading for fun and I commute many hours a week and having this will pass the time! Congrats on your book!

  1513. No one deserves this success more. Congratulations. I need to get a copy of your book so I can read it again and again.

  1514. I have cried from laughing so hard at so many of your blog posts… I can only imagine the hysterics your book would put me in! Excited to read it!

  1515. Jenny, I just got done reading your book and I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. I just love your sense of humor and I can relate to many of the situations. Keep it up!

  1516. Of course the book is still doing great! You’re hysterical, and people love to laugh. And they want to know that there are other people out there living their real lives, just like they are. Recipe for book success. Obvs.

  1517. I have just recently ordered the book & should receive it on Wednesday! I am really looking forward to reading! Your blog makes me laugh my ass off! (which is definitely needed after having twins 5 months ago!) 😀

  1519. I told my best friend that I literally laugh out loud reading your book so I keep it by my bedside for when I feel scared or upset or anything because it instantly elevates my mood! She immediately purchased a copy for her Kindle. Thanks so much for your wonderful book! ?

  1520. I’d love a copy Madam Bloggess! There is quite literally a wait of five people before me to read this book at our local library. Being on top of my life enough to make sure I’m the first on the wait list for a new book at the library? Fail.

  1521. I would love to win a copy! I’ve read some excerpts and think it’s hilarious. Thanks for the chance!

  1524. I believe I am proclaiming your audio book in my NEEDS column. Such as, a human NEEDS food, shelter, some family, a toothbrush, and an audio version of your book on CD. Okay, so my needs are really few. *shrug*

  1525. this Aussie Gal would LOVE to be in Toronto for your book signing but alas my bank account doesn’t allow for the international flight this week!

    And while I’m here, a big thanks for all the Will Wheaton stuff, he was my childhood crush, Stand By Me baby, best film ever!

  1526. I would love to give my wife a signed copy. She has the Kindle version since her eyes are so bad, but I know she would love a hard copy.

  1527. Just wanted to send you love and warm fuzzies for when you need them. I keep mine in my Pinkly magic back pack. For when my mood goes to that place Like to call the “dark”. CONGRATULATIONS on your book. You may thank us but honestly we couldn’t have made it a #1 with out you letting us into your bubble. THANK YOU love and stuff from my bubble to yours.

  1528. I never win anything so it’d be nice to win your book! Need some humor in my life as I’m looking for work right now and the olympics are making me feel really out of shape and I can’t stop watching.

  1529. I would live an autographed copy of your book! I enjoy reading your blog very much. I thought I was going to cry from laughter reading about beyonce the metal chicken

  1530. I keep buying copies of your book as gifts for my friends and family, but I have yet to get one for myself! Must be wishful thinking that someone would buy one for me. So I would LOVE to win my very own signed copy!

  1532. Wanted to make it to NYC, totally bummed. Watching the Olympics and want to see Jefferson Peabody win a bronze. (Not a gold, his expression is more like, Sh*t that was close- almost didn’t make it!)

  1533. i am still sort of snorting at the american/british canadian comment, and i can’t think of anything witty to write.
    but i would love love love a copy of the book.
    you’re the bees knees, jenny lawson 🙂

  1534. Thank you for making me feel either less crazy or more normal…either way, I feel better!!!

  1535. I would love a copy of your book. You’re actually going to be within driving distance of me for your tour and I so want to go to your signing and it would be awesome to have a book for you to sign! Although if I don’t win, I suppose I could borrow it from my library just so I can meet you. But I would much rather have my own copy!

  1536. so excited to see you in Toronto! Can’t believe it’s a week away 🙂

  1537. It wasn’t that long ago when I first discovered your website, I think as a result of the Cleoland Livejournal and Wolf Blitzer (who is awesome, by the way). I’m really looking forward to being in Beaverton to get a copy of your book for both me and my friend. Congratulations! Being full of awesome, you’ve fully earned your place on the best seller list. 🙂

  1539. I already bought the book, but I would love to have the audio version so I can hear you read it to me!
    I am SO excited that you’re coming to Portland– can’t wait to meet you=D

  1541. Thank you, Jenny. Thank you for your honesty, your hilarity, and your openness. Your blog has brought me to giggles when all round me was too dark to look at and your advice on depression has helped me see how truly blessed I am.
    I’m happy to join the long list of folks here who would love an autographed copy of your book, which I would be forced to share with anyone within earshot (read: my husband and my 14 year old daughter, both of whom love you, too).

  1543. A coworker called and said he found someone as sick and wrong as us. We all bought the book… and created a book club. We all work remotely across the country… we did a google+ meetup with video cameras, reviewed your book, had an after work drink.. and talked about how much alcohol we would have to drink every time you said vagina! It was a lot.

  1545. Your blog puts a smile on my face everyday 🙂 i would love a signed british verison of your book cuz then i can just tell evryone that i went to england to get it 😉

  1547. I love my kindle version of your book and would love to win a copy of your audio just to hear you singing the chapter titles. . . enjoy the last leg of your tour!

  1548. If its not too late I would love to toss my hat in the ring! I’ve had a rough couple years unemployed, possible house loss, blah blah same sob story tooooo many people have now days. You always make me laugh, and I even go back to my favorites. I would love love love to hear you read it, I listened to the bits you post and I think the audio makes it that much better since your inflections are a big part of it!

  1549. I really hope that I can make it to your Seattle Aug 16th or 17th appearance, it’s right after pay day, so hopefully I do!

  1550. Congratulations!!! It is a wonderful book. Enjoyed every second of it.

  1552. Dude, I’m kidnapping my boss and a couple coworkers and we’re driving two fuckin hours to see you in San Diego (it means a whales vagina). Look out for us, were the rowdy bunch eating the California burritos (only the best fucking burritos in the world-thank you Fresh Mex). I would bring more people but the’re all assholes and have no sense of humor (or it would past their bedtime.)

  1553. I tried to bribe my family in Arizona with crafty items to get me a signed copy of your book. No takers. I want to win!!!!!

  1554. I’m almost finished your incredible book and decided to take a late night look around your blog. I’ve never laughed so hard at ANYTHING! I’ve recommended it to all my friends and family (except my 84 year old mother…she prefers Guideposts). I am anxiously looking forward to future books. Thanks for the laughs!

    OK, so I’d love to win an autographed copy of your book because…

    1. I want to pass the test. I am reading a library copy (low on funds for summer reading) and want one of my own so I can hilite each instance of fuck; that way I can easily keep count…I figure that question will be on the test, right?
    2. I can carry it around looking all cool & shit.
    3. I just love numbered lists…what were we talking about?

  1556. I would dearly love a copy of your book, but I am a new mother (a beautiful baby girl born on July 2nd), and have no extra money. I cannot tell you the number of times during my pregnancy that I read your blog out loud to her. It’s just too funny.

  1558. Your book is a bright spot on my bookshelf. I can’t even walk past it without smiling. I hope you sell many more. I may even buy a second copy just to get it signed.

  1559. I absolutley adore you! While visiting family in AZ, my sister, who had finally returned home with her husband who had been injured in Afghanistan in 2010,would read us excerpts from your book. I swear you could be a long lost cousin. You know that weird on that you only take out in public once every few years like your own special brand of special olympics? Any way what was I sayin? Sorry I got distracted by an empy wine glass. Oh yeah sister read you, we laughed so hard there was snorting and peeing.
    You rock!
    The end.
    Akward hugs and kisses!
    Cheers!

  1560. I’d love to win a signed copy! As is the story of my life, I didn’t know you were in Chicago until you were gone.

  1561. Hi! I got to know about while going through Oprah’s book club,and I started reading your Blog. I am from India. And I soon found out how you do not like Oprah very much. So I was thinking twice before using her as a reference point here, but decided to be honest (extra brownie points right?) So I’m basically here to tell you that I would love a copy of your book…as it isn’t available on the bookstores around here and as I am not earning yet I have to depend on my mother’s approval of buying stuff on-line which she’s kind of scared about…I will conquer her fears someday.,..but for now I am going to grab this Opportunity as I am literally addicted to your Blog and I read it everyday. Have caught up to 2011 and your regular posts! You are awesome! Love, Hugs! 🙂

  1562. I’d love to win a hard copy. Wish I could make it out to the Toronto book signing, but, alas, it’s right around the time I have to put my little one to bed.

  1564. I cannot believe I have STILL not yet read your book! Have been looking for a copy to borrow, but winning one would be a million times more awesome.

  1565. I already own and love the book, and have a signed book plate, too. But I’d love the audio CD so I could hear you read it to me!

  1566. Jenny I hope you enjoy time in TO. I’m sad I will miss your visit. We are havin a Texas heat wave.Bring a sweateror a cape. We like to keep our book stores icy cold.
    Have fun
    Monique

  1567. seabluelee sez:
    “I already own and love the book, and have a signed book plate, too. But I’d love the audio CD so I could hear you read it to me!”

    ditto

  1569. I’ve got my tickets for Changing Hands, so I don’t need to win anything — I’ll get to see you! Long distance hugs from Phoenix, we can’t wait!

  1570. Congrats!! I’d love to get the British Version of the book! I’m trying so hard to figure out a way to come see you when you come to Denver! Hopefully I can get over the fear of driving in Denver for at least one night! 🙂

  1572. Ohhh this is so exciting 🙂 Can we pick the British version even if we are in the states?

  1573. I would totally love to win an autographed copy of your book. I have the Kindle version but I can’t put it on my coffee table for everyone to know how interesting I am because I have a NY Times best seller. And I would be even cooler if it was autographed. And even cooler than THAT because I woN it when the author picked my comment out of thousands and therefore, I didnt have to pay for it again. In all seriousness, I truly admire your strength and courage for being so funny and so honest about your anxiety disorder and your various ways to cope. I have many of the same problems, including cutting, and am not a teenaged girl so most people think that I should have outgrown that sort of thing. They don’t get it. But you do and you write about it and manage to make it all funny which is the best of all.

  1574. Thanks so much for posting your stories I love reading every post of yours

  1576. I felt a panic attack today in the elevator at work and thought of your book in an I’m-not-the-only-one-who-does-this kind of way. 🙂 Thank you.

  1577. I loved your book so much! I laughed out loud so much that I ended up in tears a few times (always the sign of a good book). I would love an autographed copy of your book since I won’t be able to make it to your signing (I’m really bummed about it).

    One of my favorite posts is about Beyonce. I have a joke with a friend that if I die for some reason, before I get to 15 years of marriage, that she is to send a metal chicken to my husband on my behalf. I think he’s seriously worried about it.

  1578. I love your book and blog. I wish you were coming closer to me. Have fun 🙂

  1580. Your book was my first ever e-book purchased through iTunes and it makes me so sad. Sad because now that I have laughed, cried and cheered over your stories, I am unable to hand it off and share it with my friends. Your autographed copy would snuggle between my signed copies of Anne Rice and Dean Koontz. A perfect ménage-a-trois, if you will.

  1581. I am so excited for this last leg of the book tour – that makes it’s way to San Diego! I am working on a babysitter and friends are on the lookout for any fun new taxidermied friend/presents 🙂 Your blog has been the shining light at the end of many long days, real raw humor that melts the bullshit away – thank you! Can’t wait to meet you!

  1582. Would love the audio CD. I’m almost finished reading the book. (I’m not a slow reader; I just ration it out to a few pages when I need a smile, a giggle or sometimes even a full on guffaw. Thank you.

  1584. You deserve fame, happiness and buckets of love …may it all be yours, and more!
    (Any version is fine, but I am fond of the British cover.) 🙂

  1585. I swear to you…my sis gave my the book jacket to yours….and put in her boyfriends lame ass book. Making me THINK she was letting me read your book. She thinks she is funny…. I would love to read the actual booK!

  1587. I have never heard my husband laugh so hard at a book as when he was reading yours. Well done. I’d love a copy of the CD to listen to in the car. Although it might be dangerous to listen and laugh.

  1588. I would love a copy of your book! I love your blog. You are hysterical. Thank you for the chance and all the smiles.

  1589. I would love to win a copy….wish I could meet you at a booksigning, but alas….no stops in my neck of the woods! But I am so thrilled the book is doing so well….keep the funny coming!! 🙂

  1590. You had me at turns ons being Rainbow Brite and Unicorns. Would love the audio cd or the American book, or your soul for me to summon turkeys that don’t obey all my commands and roam in gangs, each with their own colors and such to be organized that would wreak havoc in schools by pooping everywhere in the form of your signature. Yes this is a ramble and that is something we have in common. It lets me make single sentences into long paragraph essays that are more than likely overrun with run on sentences and horrible grammar. I consider it an art form, other people label it as lack of editing. Anywho i digress from the original point: STUFF

  1591. I’ve really asked a thousand times already, so I’m kinda not expecting a response…But when will your book be available in India?! Like really?? We read!!!

  1592. Sign me up for the drawing. I sent you a heads up with some sillyness with Zazzle. Rather than ignore the message as part of the background noise of running a blog, you responded with an email that, in its brevity, was the most amazingly appropriate response I have ever received.

    My wife is a huge fan (and so am I).

    Thanks for everything.

    -cC

  1594. Can I sell an autographed copy to pay for therapy? My husband banned me from reading your book in bed because he thinks it’s rude of me to laugh when he doesn’t know what I’m laughing about. Jackasss. Also, I hope Hailey is feeling better.

  1596. Thank you for entertaining us so well. You are amazing. I’d love an audio version to play for my husband. 🙂

  1597. Loved your book! So glad it’s been such a success for you 🙂 Love your blog, and now my husband does too after I convinced him to read your book, lol. Congratulations!

  1598. I just finished the hardback US edition last night. Now at least I can read your blog until book #2 comes out! Thanks for the laughter (and a few tears). Wonderful read.

  1599. I haven’t laughed out loud so hard or so often in I don’t know when. I think my husband was starting to get a bit concerned at the maniacal laughter coming from my side of the bed…Anyway, thanks for the great read!

  1602. I would love to win a copy of your book! I’m dying to read it, but can’t afford to buy it until at least October.

  1603. At 1540 comments already I’m probably way too late to even be considered for an autographed copy, but I have to at least try!

    Bloggess, dearest Bloggess, I *loved* reading your book as it reminded me of all the bizarre family stories I have been told as a child. It made me realise my family is not quite as crazy as I once thought. A sobering thought.

    So, all the way from Australia, I thank you for your hilarity and I now enjoy reading your blog (My OCD is alive and well – I’ve been making my way through all your old posts since I finished your book and am still only at 2010!).

    I would LOVE to inappropriately gush all over you at a signing in Australia (come to Melbourne), but until then I would happily settle for an airmail parcel! My own ‘Victor’ (or should I say James? See, I have too been reading the old posts) would not be able to shut me up and that alone should be worth a book!

  1605. I gave copies of your book to my mother, sister-in-law, and mother-in-law for Mother’s Day. I didn’t think they’d use it as a source of inspiration…

    Love your work, hope to say “hi” in Denver.

  1606. Pick me!!! I’d love to bring it to your signing and get to signed by you!!

  1609. I have been asking for your book since it came out (I’m fairly broke)… Mothers day, my anniversary and birthday, etc…my birthday was last Tuesday and I told my friend I was so excited because I was sure I was finally getting it. Well, guess what? I didn’t get it. Everybody thought someone else had already gotten it for me. Boooo. Please, for the love of everything…I want this book!!!!! Thanks 🙂

  1610. Please pick me! I did say “please”…and the closest you’re coming to Buffalo is Toronto (I don’t know if that’s true, I have no sense of distance) and my husband won’t drive me and I fear that the lady in my GPS will malfunction and convince me to “turn here” right off of the Peace Bridge. I got the ebook and loved it.

  1611. Dying to hear the audio version, not yet available in Australia that I can find.

  1612. I plan on buying a copy just as soon as I find my kindle (I’m certain it’s buried amongst my shoe boxes, but I have yet to dig though it) but if I won an autographed one that would most certainly be better!

  1614. I just have the kindle version, so I would love an autographed version! I was able to download it before it was available in the states since we live in the future in Iraq. I had read it before most of the country had access to it. And it is FANTASTIC!

  1615. Love your writing and always get a good laugh. Unfortunately, I can’t attend any of your events – I’m stationed overseas. I would love to win a copy of your book!

  1616. I would love a copy of your book, any version would be nice.
    Sadly, I can’t afford to buy my own copy at the moment (sob story), but once things get better financially for me I will.
    I’m so happy that you write this blog, you bring a little laughter and sunshine to my day when I need it most. Thank you so much Jenny!

  1617. I would love to win the book, although chances are amazingly low with me never winning anything apart from a vintage animal noisemaker can. Which is still in use. And scares the shit out of our neighbor cat.

  1621. I’ve only recently read your book and discovered your blog. Thank you so much for making me laugh. Too many tears and not enough laugher some days.

  1622. I would ADORE a signed American copy from you…really, how is it that your book is not easily available in Australia? Honestly, sometimes I feel so ashamed of my own country….

  1623. Your book is hilarious! Even for us germans 🙂 To spread the humour, I need an American copy- you know how badly we need it…

  1624. Woo! I am very glad to know that if I miss out on the exciting giveaway I can still get a signed copy to be shipped to me. I love your book and have pretty much bought one for every one of my friends for their birthdays this year. So awesome. Yay you.

  1626. This is me entering. Though, I already have a copy, and you already signed it. So, maybe I withdraw my entry.

    I just want to say that you are awesome, and your book is awesome. Actually, no. Better than that. You and your book are the awesomesauce of life. If that makes sense. I’m tired. That could totally not make sense, but I feel like it might also make TONS of sense, so I’m gonna leave it.

    Just know you’re awesomesauce.

  1627. I’d love to win a hard copy! I have the kindle version I live in Iceland so I will not meet you

  1628. Of course you’re on the best sellers list! – It’s a cracking read! Well deserved.

    Audio or British book please!

    Thanks x

  1629. I always get really sad that your book tours are never in my area of the country. I’d love a copy of the book though. I haven’t been able to justify purchasing it to myself yet.

  1630. PICK ME! PLEASE! I was so bummed to have missed your stop in San Francisco and would have totally driven the two hours to be there, but I had to be out of state for a wedding. Also, ever since you posted something about it about a year and a half ago I’ve been signing birthday cards “Thank you for not pressing charges.”

  1631. So, I’d probably be the worst person to pick… because if I don’t win, I’m going to buy the book for my insanely long with many layovers flight home in a week. Alright. Carry on.

  1632. I would love to win! Can’t make it out to any tour spots. Your book humoured me through a rough patch in my life dealing w/ some depression and such and I’d love to win a copy to gift to someone else 😀 Keep blogging and I look forward to another book 😉

  1633. I’d be really excited to hear you read your book to me…like a bedtime story : )

  1634. Toronto is so close, yet too far away for me to come see you! I would love to win a copy of the book.

  1635. I would LOVE to be able to meet you in person! But… alas 🙁

    However, your book is one that I have been itching to read for a while now. Love everything about your blog and can’t imagine how amazing your book must be!

  1636. would love to come to a book signing and meet you, but for some unknown reason you aren’t coming to Oklahoma…so I will just continue to stalk your blog and tell everyone we are best friends. of course this means I will have to forge your signature in your book, to prove this to people.

  1637. Who knows, maybe your book will be on the list FOREVER……. there are a ton of people in the universe. Once your book becomes a required reading in taxidermy appreciation schools for displaced college majors that is sure to keep you on the list for at least another century. Past that there is always zombies. Your book does look tasty.

  1638. I would love a copy. We share soooo much in common, right down to the ra and metho grrrr that.

  1639. The Kindle version of the book has graced my Fire since release date and I love it. My Kindle Fire that is not the burny kind of fire. Spell check doesn’t think Burny is a word. I should place spell check on something burny and ask it to describe the sensation. Also: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Burny so screw you spellcheck (sort of). I’m way of subject aren’t I?

    I am sort of torn between the UK version and the CD with bonus material.

    The UK version isn’t in UK English is it? If it is I would have to read it with an English accent.
    Y’all isn’t going to sound right You all………….nope. (apparently y’all isn’t spellcheck approved either. (add to dictionary) dumb ass spellcheck look it up http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Y'all . I’m off subject again aren’t I ? I’m so easily distracted.)

    The CD version could totally be a driving hazard. I could use a little more excitement in my life so I would go with the CD.

    Off course this rambling post probably isn’t going to hold anybodies attention long enough to have read this far so I guess my choice is kind of irrelevant. Which is good as my choice could kill me. I shouldn’t be allowed to make such dangerous choices.

    I think I may have over thought this whole thing. I also think I should plan my posts better….you all.

  1642. Congrates on the success – if I don’t win a book here – I’m going to go buy it tonight. Ebook? I’ll check. 🙂

  1643. I could Kevin Bacon you in your comments, but instead I’ll just say I’d LOVE a copy. I’d <3 a copy. I'll laugh into the wee hours with a copy.

  1644. Now I wish I was planning a trip to Toronto! I would love a signed copy of your book!

  1646. I would LOVE to have the British Copy or the audio… either way. I have told everyone I know to read your book, and I think it’s GREAT!

  1647. I would never complain about anything ever again if I got a signed copy of the American version!*

    *Yes I would, but still!

  1648. I love you, Jenny, and I’ll try really really hard to see you in Portland!

  1649. Read the eBook as I was too much in a hurry to get the book. LOVED IT!! Thank you for everything that you do and I wish I could see you at a signing but alas, you are not coming to Buffalo.

  1650. Have a great time on this tour! I loved your book and want my sister to have a copy, too. She is in dire need of a belly laugh since the company she works for has been trying for months to squeeze her out by making her work life miserable.

  1651. Long time reader of your blog, and excited about your book. Its not available in any format in my corner of the globe (yet) so I’d love to win a copy. Congratulations on your success.

  1652. Oooh! Audio book of awesomeness! Good luck with the rest of the tour… and thank YOU for entertaining us, even when it’s tough to do.

  1653. You had me at Beyonce – I’ve followed your blog ever since and I’m thrilled at the success of your book. Would love to win a British version.

  1657. I read your book and loved every minute of it. I would love the audio version to listen to in the car with my SUPER long commute, and to loan to my twisted best friend who only listens to audio books and would crack up just as much as I did.

    Your really great and helped to brighten up some stressful days, thank you bloggess!

  1658. I am loving your book…I have to take breaks because my cheeks hurt from laughing so much! Congrats on the success – I would love a physical copy of the book, because I have the nook version.

  1660. Congrats on the success of your book!! I can’t say I’m surprised as much as I’ve loved your blog through the years.
    I can’t wait to read it – I just hate you never made it to Nashville… come on… you know you want to!! Maybe like the last leg of the last leg of your tour? Or maybe as an encore?

  1661. I would love a copy of either or all three!! My birthday is coming up (8/13!!)… and since I love telling my husband your stories, you know, like we’re real life friends… I think it is only right that you send me a present. 🙂

  1663. Dear Bloggess. at my local HomeGoods store, I saw a mini-metal-duck. I thought of you.

  1664. Well, this would be sooo marvelous! I am unable (due to geographical unavailability!!) to attend your book signing….but might I say, I would LOVE LOVE a copy. Thanks for the opportunity. Come to Central Florida – after summer of course – and visit us. Jan

  1665. Remember that time you came to a bookstore in Brookline three blocks away from my apartment, but my dad was getting married that day so I almost skipped the wedding but then didn’t cause I realized I only cared about staying in the will slightly more then meeting you and getting my copy of your book signed?

    That was fun.

  1666. I absolutely love your blog! I would love a copy of the American version of your book! Thank you for making so many people smile!

  1667. I know the chances of me winning are small – but I definitely had to get in on at least giving myself a chance. I want your book so badly – but financial reasons keep telling me I’m not allowed to right now…WHICH STINKS!! I also live nowhere near any of the places you’re going… I’m down in Podunk, Arkansas…. but I hope that one day I’ll get to meet you. Your blog has kept a smile on my face for a long time – and getting the chance to read your book is on top of my wish list.

  1668. Pick me, pick me, pick me!!! This mom of 3 needs more of your comic relief!

  1669. Congratulations on the success of your book. It’s well deserved. Am I too late to enter for the giveaway? I would love to get the audio version…

  1670. if my co-worker doesn’t stop staring at me (in the hopes that i’ll look up to answer her stoopid question) instead of saying my name (so that i’ll look up and answer her stoopid question) i’m going to poke her in the eye! please pick me and make me smile, please, please, pleae!

  1671. I bought an ebook copy, guess you can’t autograph that, so hopefully I am not too late to enter the giveaway. But, if I am not picked, I could always contact Charlies (comment #1 here) and see if I can get a bootleg copy with a forged signature. Yeah, that should work, right?

  1672. Longtime listener, firsttime caller…I love your blog and check it every day. I commune with you in my head because I also have crippling anxiety. Would love the book but don’t have the extra cash because the kids keep insisting on eating. Feed them once, they keep coming back, sheesh…also would love to meet you but Idaho Falls, Idaho isn’t the hottest city on the tour list 🙂 Congratulations on your success and know you inspire so many of us that suffer in silence….well mostly in silence.

  1673. Pick me! Pick me! I read the book in one weekend – my family got annoyed that I was ingoring them, but it was totally worth it.

  1674. i so want your book! any version I can get my hands on!
    my country has closed imports so I know it won’t be avaliable in bookstores for a while… I’ve been tracking down people who travel to the US to bring me the book, but it’s kind of inappropiate to ask your uncle to buy you this book (though he’d probably love it!)
    I WANT IT SOO BAD

  1678. Can’t wait to get my hands on the book. Yes, I’m a little behind 😛 Don’t fret, I still haven’t read 50 Shades of Grey yet, either!

  1679. Hi, Jenny!!!! I love your book and blog so much I made my cousin read it. She and I now refer to you so much that our friends and family are voting us out–I think they are using secret ballot or that inked thumb process they use in Iraq!

    Thanks for helping me be able to explain to my husband how my mind works. He is much like Victor and just shakes his head and tries not to engage. I like to think that he feels compelled to, though, because he knows that my logic is perfect and I am smarter than him. He’s also afraid that he might come home to a five foot metal chicken one day, so he picks his battles. See your blog and book are very educational.

    Anyway, love the book and love you! Have a great day!

  1680. I wish I lived closer to Toronto, but as a Canadian I am proud that you showed some Canadian lovin and will be visiting our beautiful country. When you are in Toronto ,and if you have time, you might want to visit shops along Queen St. West. There are some quirky ones that you might like such a Morba. Try to have a wonderful time on your last leg of your book tour.

  1681. I would love a copy if I am chosen. Otherwise, I am saving pennies until I get enough! You have brightened many a day! Thank you.

  1683. You and your memoir have set me free! I grew up in the 60’s, rural, poor (but didn’t know it!.) There was this person inside of me (as an adult) that was hiding from the world not sure what people would think of me if I let her out. I was always the good one on the outside. Saying the f word is quite freeing once you let it fly and that girl that was hiding has been having a ball! Thank you for making me laugh (hard!) and for making me understand myself better. Self help books are so boring!!!!!! Your awesome!

  1684. me me me me please!!! I have been wanting your book for so long but instead my kids insist on food and clothes,, what brats. LOL

  1688. Have the book, but would love an autographed copy! Checking your blog has become part of my daily routine! You make my day!

  1690. My friend’s husband recently took a taxidermy class. His first project was some funky kind of rooster (cock). I told him to mail it to you.

  1691. Congrats on the book success. I read your blog alot to my husband…unfortunately he has just a bit TOO Much in common with your husband….

  1693. Congrats on staying on the bestseller list! I always come here when I need a pick me up, or just need to unwind and get in to a giggling mode that just won’t stop. My boyfriend is afraid I’ll start being like you and bringing home large metal chickens or the like. :-p For now, it’s enough to live vicariously through you, but in the future… who knows!

  1695. Ever since a co-worker – who is a blogger and has met you at a few conferences … 2x in the bathroom by the way – told me about your blog, I’ve been reading it every day. When there’s nothing new, I sometimes go back a bit to my favorites for the week and re-read them. You’re awesome and you’ve made me laugh, cry, and almost everything in between. Love you Jenny! YOU ROCK!

  1700. You rule because not only is your blog amazing but I wrote you an email about a Taxidermy Frog Circus and you responded. It made my week.

  1702. The book is easy to get people excited about reading. I am trying to get everyone in my office to read it. It adds its own version of sanity to our lives.

  1703. Couldn’t be happier for you! Wish you were coming back East. If you go back out on tour, please come see us in Fairfield County. I’ll publicize the crap out of it for you. Lots of bloggers our way.

  1704. I loved the book and check your blog daily for updates. Congratulations on your success!

  1706. Because of my friend Heather introducing me to your blog, I’ve become oddly fascinated with taxidermy. I think I might get a stuffed goldfish.

  1707. As an Oklahoma girl stuck in the Jersey Shore, I would really appreciate a signed copy of your book to bring me some southern comfort or feel free to just send the whiskey.

    Thank you for the laughs,
    Kate

  1708. Damn, did I miss out on this? If I was lucky enough to be chose I would select the UK version. I would then fel compelled to read it with an British accent. Things just seem a little funnier when it comes from someone with an accent. did you ever watch Red Dwarf or Black Adder? Freakin hilarious.

    I think my inside my head reading voice would sound like Jean Luc Picard. I never quite understood that though. Why give a guy with a British accent a French name?

  1709. I am so bummed that Vancouver was not one of your Canadian stops! I have not bought the book yet but it is on my list!! I am so happy for your success….and so happy someone else thinks like me!!

  1710. I love you. You always make me laugh even when I want to cry.

    Plus, you love weird stuffed animals. And live ones too. You are a good person.

  1713. You rock!

    My daughter again brought up that I was reading a book about a mouse dressed as Snow White awhile ago. She must have wanted to remind me to sign up for your giveaway!

  1715. I love your posts! I have your e-book, but would love a hard copy. I tell everyone of your blog, and am always greatfull for the laughs you provide. Thank you for all you do.

  1716. Would love to have a signed copy of your book. You crack me up! (and sometimes scare me a little:)

  1718. I am all the way in the UK, and would lovelovelove a copy of you book as I can’t come to your book tour. I was thinking about going all stalker and finding you once it’s over but I don’t think that’s the best way to make friends.

  1719. A copy of your book would be awesome. I’ve wanted to get it forever ago, but my memory and cash flow seem to never be in sync.

  1720. Jenny, congratulations on your success. You know, Canada isn’t that far from Michigan, but I understand if you can’t make it here. If my comment is chosen I would absolutely love the audio version so I can pretend that you are here with me.

  1722. My most memorable moment with your book:

    I have the i-phone version, so I was able to take it everywhere with me. I’m in the middle of my therapist’s waiting room, reading, surrounded by your run-of-the-mill “I have issues” folks, and I just burst out laughing uncontrollably. They, of course, look at me like I’m completely insane…I AM in a therapist’s office if they haven’t noticed. Exchange below.

    THEM – (stares with eyes like I just laughed directly at their children’s maladies)
    ME – Um…There’s really great book out. You guys should check it out. Jenny Lawson. She writes this really great-
    CRAZIER LADY THAN ME WITH WEIRD HAIR- Inappropriate! (muttered into her tea-gloved hand)
    ME – No really! It’s SOOOOO funny! See her dad just made her this puppet that’s a real squirrel and…
    ENTIRE ROOM – (Silence and glances like they would be more than willing to allow the squirrel-puppet-lunatic to be next in line for the good of her own health. )
    ME – See… he’s a taxidermist so…well…maybe I’m not telling it right?
    CRAZIER LADY – (gets up in a huff and goes to the bathroom)

    Lesson: Laughing is NOT allowed just anywhere. This is particularly true in small-town Texas therapy waiting rooms.

  1723. I really wish I could make it to a booksigning :-/ But it would be awesome to win the British version

  1724. I wish I could explain more how much your book has helped me. I have dealt with anxiety for most of my life. Thanks to your book, I learned that it was OK. I am fine just the way I am and fuck anyone who disagrees. I am no longer scared to be myself. So again, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  1725. I still have yet to get a chance to purchase your book, which I am totally for supporting you and all of your wonderfulness, but I want to read it sooner than later dammit! 🙂 Would love a copy… Any copy! Need My Internet-free Jenny Lawson experience.

  1727. I am so bummed you are not coming to Kansas City! I absolutely loved your book.

  1728. Love, love, love your book! I got an autographed sticky from you when I pre-ordered. I would love to get the audio-book!! You are the BEST. You inspire me to just be myself every day – no matter how crazy that may appear to others 😀

  1730. Would love to win a copy! Counting days to meet you here in Minneapolis.

  1733. I read it – I loved it – I would love a signed copy (since I can’t make it to any of the signings!)

  1736. Oh, pick me, pick me! I’ve only recently discovered your blog and am totally hooked. I just purchased your book here in Raleigh but may get another signed copy to keep so I can share a copy with friends. My daughter and I are now measuring things by the ‘awesome – it’s metric’.

  1737. i positively and absolutely adore you. as you know. and love being supportive (like a victorian brassiere for the oddly strange and truly beautiful), one that could only possibly exist in the world that is inhabited by you and a whole mess of the rest of us who are also dancing just slightly off beat.

    if the clouds part and the unicorns sing and glitter reigns down, i would LOVE to have the BRITISH VERSION of your awesome book to put right next to my AMERICAN one which is next to the bed and i read aloud to my professor when i’m feeling nice and to myself when i don’t feel like sharing. (as an aside, i spend loads of my time in bookstores these days rearranging their displays to properly highlight Let’s Pretend. this takes time, yes, but let’s face it, i’ve got loads and loads of time and love and glitter and i figure you’d like to be properly displayed right up front with Neil Gaiman and Wil Wheaton and, you know, Hunter S. Thompson. it’s loads of fun!).

    i brought you a gift. you need to know about KATY PERRY. because, well, unicorns breathing glitter and shooting fire just seem like something that might make you furiously happy. http://offbeatbride.com/2012/07/wedding-unicorn xox

  1740. I would LOVE the audio CD!! I met you at the LA Book Signing and we talked about the awesomeness of Poop Stories which converted a friend of mine into being a follower of you 🙂

  1741. So wish you were coming to Vancouver, CANADA….but perhaps another time 🙂 Have a wonderful time on this leg of your book tour!

  1742. Darling Jenny*,
    You’re the missing SHINEY penny in my life!
    Please send me your book &
    I’ll luv ya for life!
    leslie in Denver, AKA “Everything is a JOKE to Leslie”, ancient quote from Catholic Elementary School teacher written on my report card (HOW DARE HE!)
    *Jenny you inspire me: you’re REFRESHING to tangled up minds, a wonderful humorous HONEST writer with a loving HEART. You mentor a unique writer’s spirit of GIVING more of yourself than you take away from the character of the characters in your life.
    You give me hope to launch A Memoir: Growing Up & Around Aspies.
    Love your BLOGGESS it’s hilari-ARSE.
    Write ON sistah,
    leslie in denver

  1746. I would love to have a copy of your book. I have been reading your blog faithfully and I can’t tell you how much enjoyment and laughter it brings. Most importantly though, I applaud your willingness to speak out regarding mental health issues. My husband struggles with bipolar/depression and the honesty and yet laughter you bring to the table is indeed a comfort!
    Thank you!!!

  1747. No, thank YOU! I did a little happy dance when I saw you are coming to Seattle!

  1748. I have a friend that leaves near Denver who will be attending your book signing there. I hope to get her to have a copy signed for me. If she can’t get a copy signed for me, getting one directly from you would be oh so appreciated. I have read your book more than once and have several stories that are already my favorites. I have been reading your blog for several years. In my close circle of girlfriends, we all have metal roosters that we have all named Beyonce.

  1749. I can’t wait for you to get here!!! I’m so excited!!!!!!! I bought the Kobo edition of the book initially and now am going to have the hard copy as well so you can sign it!!!!!! How do you win a free copy?? I’d love to see the British version?!!!?!?!?!

  1751. Hi Jenny, I would love to win a signed copy of your book! Oh my! Who doesn’t need more laughter in their life?!? 🙂

  1753. I love your blog you…you always make me laugh…I am looking forward to reading your book and meeting you in San Diego 🙂

  1755. I’m a new-ish reader and winning the book (before student loans come in for the fall and I can BUY it) would be totally rad!!

  1757. I’ve already shared you with three other people, if I win a book I can share you with even more!
    (hope that doesn’t make you feel too dirty, unless that’s a good thing and can help my odds)

  1761. I have a book plate on my American version but would love a real live signed British copy:)

  1763. Would love the American version! My sister is BEGGING me to read your book so we can discuss (but warns the reading should be done in private so as to not wet myself publicly. Apparently privately is just fine.)

  1764. I’m hoping to catch up to you in Portland. You make me laugh and envy your boldness!

  1766. If you haven’t already picked people, I would really really enjoy the audio version!! 😀

    –Cat

  1769. I’d LOVE a signed copy of the British version (I am American but the British version just looks cooler…hope you don’t mind me saying)!

  1770. ah i can’t make i to torontoooo the worst. so close yet so far!!
    i’d love a free anything tbh

  1771. So I’m comment like 80 bajillion so I don’t expect you to respond, but just for shits & giggles – how was the whoopie pie from Maine??

  1772. I started a book club about two years ago. When it is my time to choose a book all the members of my club moan and groan because they hate my choices (im a bit of a book snob). So when it came time to choose again last month, I chose yours without having read it. Well I am glad I did. Never have I laughed so hard while reading a book. Honestly like tears streaming belly laughs. My club is meeting later this month and I can’t wait. From the feedback I have gotten they have all had the same reaction I have. Thank you for writing such an honest and funny account of your life, it makes the rest of us with ridiculous upbringings feel a bit more included.

  1773. What’s the difference between the British and US version? O.o Either way I am sure there are squirrels everywhere in both places. I always wanted a squirrel because they have a nice fluffy tail and the coordination of a ninja… they could be like little crazy servant ninjas

  1774. Would love to win a copy. I downloaded your book on Kindle….then bought the hardback version….then gave that one away to my daughter…..bought another hardback copy…..gave that one away to my other daughter…bought another…..then gave that one away as a gift to a friend who I thought would appreciate it. Slowly going broke buying copies of your books!! But who am I kidding….if you gave me a copy, I’d probably just give it to some chick who couldn’t afford it and who I thought REALLY needed it!!! Love you!

  1775. I’d love a copy of the audiobook. I read the hardcover and could not stop laughing, I have never laughed so hard at a book (like, tears streaming down my face hilarious). I’d love to hear it in your own voice. Thank you for sharing your book with us, I cannot wait for more

  1777. Looking forward to seeing you in Minnesota! I’m planning on getting a copy of the book for myself and also one for a friend who’s been going through a real mess of anxiety/depression.

  1779. I would love to win the British version. Their cover is so much more interesting than the American one.

  1780. Oh, please! Me! I’ve never won anything in my life. BUT, if I win a copy of this book, that will carry me through three decades of past unwinning, and set the stage for three future decades of winning the SHIT out of things!

  1781. I was laughing so hard I cried, when I read the druggy chapter. Plus, I read aloud to my husband parts of your book, because I kept saying ‘her imagination is crazy wild.’ Then I passed the book to my daughter and now we are bloggess followers. Oh, no!
    Thanks to you, for the book.
    Pam
    Ut

  1782. Your book succeeds because it’s amazing, it made me laugh, and it made me cry 🙂

  1785. The book made me laugh out loud, with tears, all while in the backyard probably overheard by the neighbors. Thanks for making me the crazy neighbor lady!

  1788. Jenny – I discovered your blog when all of a sudden I started receiving Amazon gift certificates just before Christmas the year I lost two of my children in a fire. An amazing friend knew of your project, and put my name in. I can’t tell you how much that meant to myself and my family that year. I cried for weeks over the generosity and kindness. I’ve followed your blog ever since. You have kept me sane with your insanity, and I would be honored to receive a signed copy of your book. I haven’t had the cash on hand to buy a copy yet, but I know that it would be a valuable addition to my already burdened book-shelf. Thank you for being so open, honest, and nuts. Your crazy blends well with my crazy, and when my heart starts pounding and my hands start shaking, I think to myself, “how would the Bloggess handle this?” and happily go find the nearest bathroom to hide in.

    Thank you. Just, thank you.

  1790. So sorry I’m late to the party. Recently read your Beyonce article in a women’s magazine and have been stalking, er, reading your blog ever since. Thanks for posting.

  1791. I was impatiently waiting for my turn to check out your book at the library when my roommate brought it home. I would love to have my own copy so when I shoot beverages out my nose from laughing so hard while reading it, I’m not ruining someone else’s copy.

  1793. Oh, how I’d love to win your book…I’ve instituted a book buying ban due to large quantities of unread awesomeness and current broke-assness, but am definitely allowed to win! Right?? Hopefully a lovely British version…. 🙂

  1794. Congrats on the book’s continued success! I would love to win an autographed copy 🙂

  1795. I’m new to your blog — discovered it after reading your book! Thanks for making me giggle throughout my workday.

  1796. Congratulations on all of your well-deserved success! You are an inspiration to so many of us new “baby” bloggers! Can’t wait for the second book!

  1797. After listening to your audio book again on my trek from El Paso to Corpus Christi, TX, I have to admit that there is no better lens to look at the miles of Texas countryside as they fly by.

    Also, if you came to El Paso we would have one of the best book signings for you ever to exist. PLEASE.

  1798. You are the best! I’ve read your book on my kindle but I’d love an autographed hard copy! <3 <3

  1799. Like many others, I check your site whenever I need a lift or inspiration or a nifty gift idea. I hope your next tour goes just fantastically.

    Cheers –

  1800. Love your blog! I find myself belly laughing while I’m reading it at work! You make my day easier to get through. I’d love to have an autographed hard copy or audiobook! Thanks Jenny!

  1803. Please enter me! I would love to get a hard copy! I cannot wait to see you in Denver on the 13th… It will probably be the highlight of my life.

  1804. I’d love to win an American version. With a little luck I’ll meet you in Denver!

  1806. I told my husband that your book is just what I want for my birthday next week.. But he never gets the right thing so hopefully I can win it!

  1807. I’m in Nebraska! I won’t be able to make it to a signing. I loved your book though! I would so appreciate getting a signed one :).

  1808. Until I read your book, I thought I was the only person whose dad thought it was funny to entertain me with dead animals…or garter snakes…or created a totally bizarre world that I grew up thinking was totally normal. Aside of that, and the thousands of times that I belly laughed and made my husband think I am more nuts than I am, I want to thank you for your willingness to open up about what social anxiety feels like. I don’t experience this kind of my anxiety, but my husband does, and it’s sometimes hard for me to understand. So thanks for helping me with that. Plus, I’m an English teacher, and I’d totally assign this book to my students if I could get away with it!

  1809. Book? There’s a book? YOU have a book? I guess I didn’t hear about it because I’ve been
    living in a cave.

  1811. I’d love to get an autographed copy of your book! If you ever make it up to the armpit of NY (the waaaay northern part), I’ll be there!

  1812. Can I have the audio version of you speaking in a British accent? I already have what I’m assuming is the American version of your book 🙂

  1813. You rock Jenny! I hope you have a traveling companion to look after you and your laptop. Enjoy your trip to doll gaze in Dallas! I library myself (no funds) but wlll be getting your book sometime as I HAVE it always for the laughter. Take care Awesome!

  1815. Oh do pick me. I need your book. I think it’s just what the Dr ordered.

  1817. I read the Kindle version and laughed outloud so many times…I am dying for my Mom to read the book, so an autographed print version would be just perfect for her birthday next month 🙂

  1818. I’m so bummed I couldn’t make it when you came to Boston. Honestly your book is amazing and you have helped me in so many ways. Thank you.

  1819. I just finished reading your book. It was hilarious! I’ve recommended to all my friends. Thanks for making me laugh!

  1821. Today is my birthday (age undisclosed) and I got your book…woo hoo. Can’t wait to crack the binding. Thanks for making me laugh 🙂

  1822. Thanks for making me laugh. I swear I saw a smaller version of your chicken at HomeGoods. I so wanted to buy it.

    Congrats on your book success. I love the Internet for bringing so much talent to all of us.

  1824. You rock Jenny!!! I have never laughed so much reading a book in my entire life. I would love an autographed version!!!

  1825. I wish you were coming to do another book reading in New York City!!!

  1826. Well Lawson, I just wanted to say thanks, I just read your book and although I concede it was great? I now have discovered I too enjoy taxidermied oddities so I can just add that to my match profile.. What do you Think… Single white female flight attendant.. Enjoys run on sentences, cat ranching and taxidermied mice.. Thanks for making me THAT much more marketable.. I’m sure they’ll be beating down my door now.

  1827. So sad that I will miss you in Toronto by about a week. Boo. When are you coming to Japan? You can stay with me! There’s a taxidermy place I can take you to – and how else will you be able to say you’ve seen Japanese taxidermy? There’s a white mouse with angel wings currently singing your name in a heavenly voice. I promise to buy it for you if you visit your fans living in Kobe. (Does this sound creepy and stalkery? I mean all this in the nicest, non-stalker sort of way.)

    XOXOXO, have fun in TO!
    Melanie

  1828. I just want to say that about a week before my 15 year anniversary I read your 16 year anniversary post. and then the 15 year anniversary post. and have now been progressively reading backwards (and forwards depending on the day). we should hang out. seriously. 😀

  1829. I will so make the drive into Toronto to see you, Jenny! I hate the city but doubt you will visit my local independent bookstore. Wanna crash at my place overnight? I will get you to the airport on time!

  1830. The book was amazing…and I’d love to hear the audiobook! It would be great to listen to on my 8 hr drives to visit my crazy family!

  1831. Gee wilikers! They’s almost 2000 coments on this post! I ain’t got no chance a winnin! But down hear in Arkansas, we ain’t know how ta read, so I shur wood ‘preciate a audio book so I ain’t gotta read nun. (I can lay it on even thicker if it will improve my chances of winning, because while I do read good 😉 I most certainly cannot afford audio books these days. Our paychecks haven’t quite caught up with the cost of living as it turns out.)

  1832. I am SO bummed I cannot make any of the tour dates! I was just in Toronto to. You see I think of Canada as my homeland, even though I have only been there maybe 3 times. Long story. I have put out many feelers and think when I order my autographed book (because I assume with 8 million comments mine probably will not be chosen for a free book but if it was it would be totally awesome!) I will ask them to make it out to “Noellicka, Queen of shoes”.

  1833. Normally I play hockey on Monday nights, but since my team royally screwed the pooch we’re out of the playoffs. So I’m free. See you in DENVER!!

  1834. I am so super stinkin’ excited that you are coming to Minneapolis! Now to convince my boyfriend that we should totally give you one of our taxidermied geese simply because you are amazing! And of course because you need one of these in your house!!!! I’ll be skipping putting the finishing touches on our 2 year old daughter’s birthday party to see you! Yep, Mother Of The Year right here!

  1835. I am so pissed. I am going on a solo vacation for the first time ever at the end of August. Solo! No hubby, no kids… and I do plan to celebrate with lots of solo cups while I’m at it. However, the reason I’m pissed is I am going to be in Toronto for it — but two weeks too late. Ahhhhh. The injustice of it all!

  1839. I might need the audio CD for therapeutic, anti-road-rage-y purposes. I’m not sure if my FSA will cover this but it totally should. Lives could be saved!

  1840. What has been the strangest thing to happen on your book tour so far? Hope you have a great time on this last leg!

  1841. Sad day…no way you’ll pick me–I’m sooo not witty! I would absolutely LOVE a copy of the book, though!

  1843. OMG, I seen to have lent my copy to someone and I can’t remember who! And I really want to read it again soon. It’s really wonderful.

  1844. I would LOVE the audio CD! I’m a new Mom of twins so I spend a LOT of time awake in the middle of the night feeding hungry babies. I’ve been passing the time by listening to podcasts (way too tired to read while that sleep-deprived!), but listening to your book would be sooooo much better! ; )

  1847. I have 5 kids under 8 so I need you to give me the audio version so I can listen when they’re in bed and I’m still folding laundry!

  1848. Will you please send me one….mainly cause you’re awesome, and I can’t afford the air fare to America to see you!!! …I feel in love with a mounted Moose head that I saw in an antique shop here in Australia….AUS$ 18,500…. Thought it would look awesome mounted above my bed, husband did not agree….I have a picture if you need to see it. (Moose, not husband) xxxx you make me giggle

  1849. That is very very nice of you. Should I be one of the lucky chosen few, I would adore either print version. 🙂

  1850. So kind! It would be swass to win, so I could gift one copy and keep the fancy one for me! 🙂

  1852. Please detour to Kansas City! Hubby says we can host a signing at our shop :). Congrats on your success. XO

  1853. I hope this contest is still open. I’d love the US version of your book, although I bet the audio CD is hilarious. LOL

    PS: I just talked to my friend in Germany and she bought your book at her local bookstore. It’s in the window right next to another book by a guy who started his blog after his wife died 27 hours after giving birth. He’s been on Oprah. Apparently. But I doubt his tome is as good as yours.

    Just sayin’.

  1854. i have given several copies to friends and family for birthdays — happy to help your stories get read.

    thank you for being you and making the world a little better.

  1855. I’m a counselor and use “Depression Lies” in my work all the time! Brilliant

  1856. i stumbled across your book and found it a surprising delight. I have never before read a book that made me miss my roof raccoons!

  1857. Loved your book and based on your description of the audio and outtakkes, I’d love to win a copy of the audio version. I’m so bummed at having missed you on the Boston leg!

  1858. I’ve been going back and forth over whether I want the Kindle version or a hard copy of your book, and that’s the only reason I don’t already have. An AUTOGRAPHED copy would beat both all to hell! Pick me, pick me!

  1859. I would love a copy of your book! It’s on my must read list but I haven’t bought it yet.

  1860. Congrats on your success – I hope you’ll consider swinging through Dallas again on your book tour – unfortunately I missed you the first time around. I hope all this success means you’ve already started working on book two.

  1862. i know i’m too late…but the 4 children had their 2 cousins over and they all locked me in the basement for two days, ate all the hot dogs and cheetos, and built giant blanket forts all over the living room. i finally got out through a secret passageway our cat that really isn’t ours but i just don’t want to see the fox eat her apparantly found. it’s only then i realized oh.my.god. she’s coming to frigging denver. i shouldn’t have talked all that crap about being a hermit on a mountain with no car that would dehermitize somehow to come see her because NOW i actually have to figure out How The Hell To Make That Happen PLUS I cannot possibly…at this moment but maybe the Universe will work with me so I can somehow afford it AND go….so THEN you were giving away a book. and i missed it.
    this is the story of my life. well…not my whole life but the part about just missing the good stuff every time? yeah. me. also…they didn’t really tie me up in the basement. i just get completely overwhelmed some days. but they DID eat most of the cheetos. i feed the hot dogs to the cat when the kids aren’t paying attention because i think they are nasty. the cat doesn’t seem to mind. thank you for reading all of my nonsense today. yes, i wish i had a book. yes, i’m going to try to get my ass there…even if for the ninja signing (i was trying to think of something clever you could sign so you would pick me). but if i can’t…THANK YOU For coming for the west. on behalf of all coloradoans that can’t make it or don’t know what they are missing. xxx

  1863. Loved your book – it made me a fan, and now I love your blog, too! Would love an autographed American copy for my very own!!

  1865. So, the reason I heart you & your book:
    A couple of months ago I went on a vacation that we had been saving for & looking forward to for months. It was supposed to be an epic Harley ride through Arizona, a romantic stay at the Grand Canyon & then an exciting stay at a luxurious hotel in Vegas. What really happened was I woke up with a fever on day one & had to sit on the back of the bike in a million degree weather feeling like I was going to actually die. To top it off I wore jeans with holes in them & ended up with second degree burns which left oh so attractive fuchsia spotted legs. By the time we got to the Grand Canyon I was in tears & begging my fiance to put me out of my misery by throwing me off the edge. I didn’t get out of bed during our entire stay there. And not in the romantic or sexy let’s stay in this bed in this awesome rustic totally expensive hotel room. Then we finally arrive in Vegas with me still sucking snot & I find out exactly why our room was comped for the entire stay (whenever your fiance says “this is so awesome, our room is totally comped! make sure you go online to research the fucking hotel, especially when you’re a librarian & researching is sort of your thing.) The Imperial Palace was neither imperial or any sort of palace. It was a dump & I was cranky & totally sick with strep throat & I’m surprised my fiance didn’t murder me for being a major bitch, bury me in the desert & bang a showgirl. Naturally I started feeling better on the day we were supposed to fly home. We ended up at the airport four hours early before our departing flight. Which was my fault cause I totally screwed up the itinerary. So instead of sitting there with my fiance glaring at me (it’s not my fault you can’t smoke in there, jeeesh) I wandered off to the bookstore where I bought your book then went back to my seat (next to cranky pants – well cranky until he discovered the little fishbowl where you can smoke butts & play slots while you wait for your flight) & proceeded to laugh my ass off. There were some good moments during the generally miserable vacation. Your book was one of them. Thanks!

  1867. Are you kidding me? Hells to the yes! I would love a copy…pick me, pick me! Congrats on the success.

  1868. I wish you would have come to Kansas, but I understand. I have a book with your book plate, an audio book would be wonderful.

    I made my mom read your book and she loved it! WE both laughed, and cried, and look forward to another book from you. So get on that!

  1869. Well when you are that awesome how can we not! Also it turns out if you want a lot of people to comment you should do a give away 😉
    (American Version)

  1870. Can’t wait to read your book! I am in negotiations with my toddler curently to decide when that might be! I hope to see you in Minneapolis, and would love, love, love to win a copy of your book from you.

  1871. Pick me, I’d love an old fashioned hard copy to place on my coffee table or to lend out to friends!

  1873. Was just telling my bookclub that we need to read your book and that while I downloaded yours originally on my Kindle that this is one of those rare books that I will definitely want to read again and would like to be able to have the shelf so will be needing to get a hard copy. Again, can’t wait until #2!

    And by the way… you probably don’t remember this but you were my 3rd follower on Twitter after I set up an account last month… after reading the book and wanting to read more from you. Up to 7 now! Woop Woop! ; )

  1877. *happy noises*

    I bought the book for my husband for his birthday. The day after I ordered it he offered to buy it for me. My self restraint was AMAZING. I talked him out of it *sob* and waited till after he’d read it to read it, withstanding his inconsiderate laughing out loud and muttering to myself all the time. Lesson learnt – never buy anything for your spouse that you really, really want yourself. Or just have 2 copies. Also- he’s getting a giant metal chicken on our 15th anniversary (in 9 years time). Except it’ll be for me, really.

    I would love the audiobook, though if you happen to pick me!

    Thanks for the funniest book I’ve read in a long time.

  1878. Just started reading your blog today and LMAO. Would love to have your book, thanks. I too have a blog. It sucks.

  1883. I have been reading your blog for about a year now (thanks to a friend who forwarded me your Beyonce the metal chicken post). I love you. Your writing is at times the height of hilarity and also starkly truthful , thought-provoking and inspiring. Thank you for all the joy you have given me. I’m going to buy a copy of your book with the gift card my folks gave me for my birthday.

  1884. Will prostitute myself for free book. Or a metal rooster. Or a stuffed small rodent.

  1888. Yes, please! I read your book in a hammock by the Pacific Ocean in Panama. That copy was from the library. I want one of my own 😉

  1889. I’ve had a rough couple weeks with my 81 year old mom and could use some big old belly laughs. And I love free stuff

  1890. I’ve been reading your blog posts for a little while now after having discovered you through my twitter feed. Woman, you are crazy. Funny, but definitely crazy. I laugh every time. Thank you. And, if per chance I should win, either the American or British would suit. I’m in the US (Maryland) but grew up reading British novels and watching BBC productions. Sorry I missed the original tour.

  1891. Giveaway aside, if you have time in Toronto (and really, it’s worth making time), you should definitely find Mountain Lion Taxidermy Studio and revel in the glory that is Toronto’s last taxidermy shop.
    Because, y’know.
    Dead things.
    Adorable, horrifying dead things.

  1892. Loved seeing you in Atlanta! The book made me furiously happy but the audio version would be even better given that you are so damned funny. I love that you are supporting Changing Hands book store. My sister has taken me there every time I go visit her. It is a great store! On another unrelated note, I have printed off a ton of your hand puppets. I send them to random people through interoffice mail making sure that they can’t tell who it came from. It is good fun!

  1894. pick me! pick me! I AM leaving my country to go and see you in Toronto. Best wishes on your sucesss and book tour. I was just in TX and miss it already. Dim
    P.S. I read a disturbing number of comments on the many stuffed beavers ur gonna receive in Canada. You best buy more luggage.

  1896. I would love a copy, but I want to know what the difference is between the British and American version. You use ‘boot’ and ‘lift’ and so on?

  1897. I am so happy for you. Cheers on your success! Love the book. Adore you. You put a little sunshine in my most gloomy days.

  1898. I want to hear you read the book! The audio must be awesome. Though I do feel as if I am hearing your voice when I read your blog. That’s normal, right? Like all the other voices in my head? Like God telling me that Mitt Romney is a taxidermied human being with a ventriloquist throwing his voice into Mitt’s mouth? Everybody hears that kind of stuff from God, right?

  1899. Read the book, recommended it to everyone…still laugh just thinking about it. Most irreverent, truthful, hard-to-believe-but-you-know-it’s-true book ever! Loved it and would love a copy of it!

  1901. I put in a new hold to read you again (was the 1st back in April). Here are your current Austin library stats:
    91 peeps waiting in line
    21 copies in the system
    22 MORE on order
    Go Jenny – enlighten and entertain forever!!
    🙂

  1902. My colleagues are sick of hearing me talk about you and your book (as no doubt are my friends from home, since I post all about how much I love it on teh Facebook). People on public transportation now avoid me as I am known now as “the crazy woman laughing at an e-reader” and refuse to make eye contact or sit beside me (unless they are new, and then they soon learn). I now get my own seat, so thanks! I’d love to hear you read your book aloud, so I can disturb them even further with maniacal laughter without a book. I can then tell them all about a squirrel puppet and taxidermy animals as they slowly back away…

    I hope some day you’ll make it to the north of England (specifically West Yorkshire), where I can stand in a line to meet you, burst into tears and lose the power of speech, while thrusting gifts upon you.

    P.S. We have bacon jam here, just saying.

  1903. Jenny! I’ve already bought 6 copies of your book for friends . . . that should make up for the illegal download to my Nook right? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE hurry and finish your next book! I’m dying to read it! I had to pace myself on LPTNH because I was enjoying it so much and didn’t want it to end =(

    . . . and fer real dude . . .those finger-toe shoes are super creepy

  1904. 1903rd comment! I hope you even see this. I would really love a signed copy of your book. I loved it and live in Newport Rhode Island so i don’t think I’ll be able to get to your book signings. I have 8 dogs and 9 Koi (just trying to appeal to your love of animals) but really, 8 Chihuahuas & We named all of our Koi fish. Sid Fishious, Koi Orbison, Koi George, Koi Clark, king Koi, and so on. I also need a hard copy of the book since i have it on my Nook.
    thanks,

  1905. Win a copy of your book? You betcha! Because of you, I take pictures of roosters wherever I see them and text them to my Beyonce buddy. I never realized how many rooster statues, bottles, prints, plates, baskets, and on an on there are out there! Thank you!

  1907. My sister introduced you to me one day when she knew I was having a bad day/week/life…whatever, you get the point here. I was in my sixth grade classroom, which may or may not have contributed to the aforementioned challenges, when I got the brilliant idea to open your blog in my classroom. But don’t worry. It was completely safe because the kids were working and it was on the computer that doesn’t face them. That would have been fine except for the fact that I laughed so hard I was crying. They just kind of looked up, but nobody was all that concerned. I think they thought I was already crazy and this was simply the proof. I was laughing at your blog, your interactions with Victor, the tshirt that says, “I Feel Stabby” because that’s how I feel even before PMS sets in, and the play date cards to give out to other moms. I finally realized that I probably should close the website before I got in trouble or fired or something, since its contents might not have been approved-although they probably would have been appreciated by my administrative leaders. Also, I wanted to add that I didn’t think that your description of your life in Texas was all that strange or different from my own childhood. But then I’m from Oklahoma, so maybe that is why. 🙂 And whether or not you choose my email, which probably you won’t since I’m like the 1907th one, I still wanted you to know that I appreciate your humor and will be sending my best friend a copy of your book very soon!

  1909. That might have been a lie–the webbed feet thing. But I really do have mutated pinkie toes from growing up next to a nuclear laboratory in Los Alamos, NM. If that doesn’t qualify me for a giveaway copy of your awesome book, well, I just don’t know what does.

  1911. It pains me that you aren’t coming to Vancouver, but I could sop up my tears with a hard copy of your book.

  1912. Good luck in Canada! I missed you when you came out east, so would love to win a signed copy!

  1913. I’m still very sad I missed you when you were here in Miami. I spent 30min in my house contemplating if I was brave enough to go to the book store by myself and then when I finally got myself together and was about to walk out the door I got an important phone call -__- So you need to come to Miami again for some random reason and sign my shoe or something or you know even going to Orlando would work.

  1914. It was hard to get to the bottom of all the comments! I would love the audio version

  1915. I just wanted to let you know, you make our office laugh out loud, literally, pretty much every day! Thank you!

  1916. I miss reading your blog for three days due to the creeping crud, and I miss this giveaway? Not fair! I wish I was still in Denver, I’d go stand in line for days to get a book signed by you, and by book, I mean boob, of course.

  1917. !!! I loved your book, and was amazed that I had the same thought patterns as another human being. Seriously. I know I’m not going to win a signed book from you because I NEVER get lucky at things such as these, but I adore you and am anxiously awaiting your next book. I also just wanted to say that I love your work!

  1918. Hey…loved your book. Planning to come see/hear you in Mpls. However, I passed my book on to my friend to read and now she’s on vacation with it. I guess I’m outta luck on having my copy signed. Oh well, at least I’m doing my part passing along the laughter. Thanks for a fun read. See you soon, even though I’ll be book-less.

  1919. (Jenny–I fear I am too late with this post. However, if you haven’t given all the books away yet I would like to add my plea for one.)

    Yea Gods of Serendipity. (I actually started writing this on the 30th…guess I got a little distracted.)

    While most people will be requesting your book for the happiness and laughter it will bring them I am going to request it as a Teaching Tool (ala post-it’s) for my dear husband. You see last Friday I was about 16 pages into your book when my husband did what seemed like the sixth thing in ten minutes from what I could only assume was his List of Idiotic Thing I Need to Do Today. I felt the need to intervene and requested he “not have (the pre-teen) polish the electronics with bleach…especially on the carpet.” I must have had a bit of tone in my voice, because he immediately responded with, “You are forbidden from reading that book if it is going to make you this sassy!”

    That’s right…”FORBIDDEN.”

    I came upon this contest and realized that I could think of nothing better to reward his strong stance as Man of the House with than an autographed copy of your book. I promise that I will not allow the children to clean it with bleach.

  1921. I have the Kindle version, and laughed out loud – a lot. I’d love to hear it in your voice!

  1922. I can’t wait to see you at Changing Hands on the eleventh. I’d love an audiobook to go with my paper copy, although a 2nd paper copy would not go amiss since I have loaned my copy out so many times that it’s getting a bit battered.

  1923. I would love a paper copy (british just for fun) I have the audio and love it.

  1924. I probably don’t deserve a free autographed copy of your book, but I’m going to ask for one anyway because I would love, LOVE to have one. I have anxiety and depression and your words about your journey through the same waters have meant so much to me, and have helped me laugh, and love myself a little bit more. And for that I thank you.

  1925. I totally missed the giveaway, didn’t I? Damn it! Curse you dirty dishes! Everyday with the dishes! What the fuck, man? why can’t they just leave me alone so I can enter giveaways?

  1927. I loved your book so much, that I was reading it at work on my Kindle and in the midst of trying to be serious, made more embarrassing snorts than I can possibly count. I’ve been having a lot of things to juggle lately, and all i do is remember a line and it makes my day.

  1928. This is my offering to you, O beautiful Bloggess… Here is a brief description of my literary masterpiece:
    I know what you’re thinking, “What is this? Does it have any hunky, brooding vampires?”

    Let’s be clear, this book does NOT contain…

    Beautiful members of the Undead searching for a nice light snack/true love.
    Teenage wizards battling adversaries so fearsome they must not be named.
    Children battling to the death in a televised spectacle.
    Virginal college students with soap opera names who shed their purity after meeting emotionally crippled, perverted businessmen – who happen to have billions.

    The Bellman Chronicles is a collection of tales featuring…

    TERRIBLE PEOPLE:

    Douchebags who think Grandma’s wheelchair is a suitable substitute for a luggage cart.
    Crazy cougars who think the term “full-service hotel” means the security officer will sleep with you – while your husband watches.
    Guests who bring animals with them: a deer strapped to their RV – which they park next to the kitchen entrance of the hotel’s restaurant.

    TERRIBLE THINGS:

    Getting caught daydreaming while your spouse “shares her feelings.”
    Spilling your morning coffee.
    Hairless cats.

    So if you think your life sucks, take some of that money you were going to spend on Red Bull and smokes and read about someone who is REALLY suffering, namely yours truly.

    You can call me The Hook.

    —————————————
    I hope my meager offering brings you some pleasure, young lady…

  1929. I’d love a British copy cos I grew up there and my Britishness is fading 🙁 I’m super broke right now so a free copy would be amazing, or I’ll just have to wait to buy one. I love your blog and share posts with my Mum. You’re an inspiration and so strong 🙂

  1931. I realize I’m probably shamefully late to this party, but I’m going to throw my hat into the ring just in case. I’d LOVE a copy of the audio CD! I already have the book and I’ll be at you rbook signing in Arizona this weekend. Can’t wait! 🙂

  1932. I am probably too late to be in the drawing. I learned too late that you would be at the Barnes and Noble about a mile from my house. But, I love your blog, and anything funny. It is therapy for me.

  1934. I received my autographed copy a few days ago!! Thanks to you and Changing Hands for doing that for us. I had it autographed for my daughter, but I’m going to read the book before I give it to her. Is that allowed?

    Val

  1936. I probably don’t deserve a free autographed copy of your book, but I’m going to ask for one anyway because I would love, LOVE to have one. I hope someday you’ll make it to the north of England (specifically West Yorkshire), where I can stand in a line to meet you, burst into tears and lose the power of speech, while thrusting gifts upon you. And visit my website

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Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

The Dating Days of Marta O: When I told my sister I was building a blog she said: “Do people still read blogs?” I do not know, but if YOU want to read it, here it is. Keep in mind, my stories about dating after 40 are for the brave.

Where Do I Belong? A memoir of Sarah Carrington: The unbelievable story of growing up in a religious cult in the mountains of Northern British Columbia. What happens to you in life doesn’t make you strong; rising above it does.

CONNECTED: A Personal Journal for Ketamine Therapy Created by writer & patient Katherine Davis for this powerful clinical treatment. If considering ketamine for major depression, check out this essential tool.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

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