me: Why do people say “cute as a button”? I’ve literally never seen a button and thought “HOW CUTE”. If anything it’s barely functional. It’s like saying that you’re “adorable as velcro”.
Victor: Or sweet as a zipper.
me: Fascinating as a safety pin. Although, I guess it’s better than “cuter than a bug’s ear”.
Victor: It’s hard not to be cuter than an insect appendage.
me: I just looked it up. It says “cute as a button” is short for “a quail button”.
Victor: What’s a quail button?
me: This monstrosity, apparently:
Victor: Wow. That looks…terrifying. Like a poultry demon.
me: It’s like if Satan…was a bird. Except, now that I think about it, Satan is supposed to be super hot and tempting so maybe in a round-about way it all makes sense.
Victor: “Your baby is as cute as Satan.”
me: Yep. That sings.
Victor: I want that on a greeting card.
**********
In unrelated news, it’s time for the weekly wrap up.
What you missed in my shop (tentatively called “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
What you missed on the internets:
- I made it to the semi-finals! And now voting starts all over again. Which is weird.
- Kick-ass stuff I pinned.
This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:
This week’s round-up sponsored by Awkward Moments with Men, an uninhibited and snarky collection of sordid but awesome stories about the perils of love and lust for two young women in the modern world. I haven’t finished it completely, but I recommend.
You know that quote has bothered me for a looonnngg time. One of those ones that slips out randomly and then you have that argument with yourself about why you said it in the first place.
I was out in the car today and I drove past someplace that had a blue, I think Americans call them, potty loo’s.
I immediately thought of YOU, Dr Who and the TARDIS, is there something wrong with me do you think?
That would be a rocking greeting card and they would totally know it came from me without having to read too much into the card.
This post was as sweet as a shoe string. 🙂
Interesting about the quail button!
You really need some kind of “Push Button For Quail” item for your store.
UGH. That shit be fugly.
I don’t even… Just… wow. Your baby is as cute as Satan. I’m going to start telling people that.
Thank god you were here to clear up this misconception.
My gramma had a great big jar of buttons. In the olden days, buttons were so cool, all kinds of shapes, sizes, and colors. You can’t find cool stuff like that nowadays. And some of them really were cute! Totally having a retrogasm now…
He’s not that bad.. for a demon.
I’ve seen worse creatures come into my hotel. of course, they were two-legged demons, but someone found them cute, I suppose…
I hope Victor comes through…
Your whole exchange with Victor just had me singing “Like Animals” from Dr. Dolittle lol
Why don’t we say, “noble as a frog”?
Or, why can’t we say, “wealthy as a hen”?
True, we say, “devoted as a dog,”
But what we should say is:
“Chic as a giraffe,”
“Pretty as a pig,” eh? —
That’ll be the big day,
Won’t it? But when?
But when?
But when?
I think I’d prefer a card saying “Wow, your baby will be as hot as Satan someday.”
I do mean hot as in super successful, of course, because apparently it’s wrong to think babies are hot.
Although maybe the card could just be “Wow, you’re one hot Satan!” This way we can give it to people, not babies. And by that I mean grownups. I honestly didn’t meant to say that babies are not people, because they so are.
Okay, I think I’ll stop talking now, or typing, since I seem to be digging a very deep grave for myself over here.
I’m all for babies. Even the cute as a quail ones.
Or, saying someone wants to have their cake and eat it too. I’ve never understood that phrase either, it always seems like… well I have cake, of course I want to eat it! I can’t imagine just looking at it. It would make more sense if they said something like “Has their cake and wants to keep it for later too.” See, THAT would make sense. People are weird.
of all the cute things in the world, THAT got picked to be the standard of cuteness? people must have been really ugly in the old days…
Cute as a kid who has his tongue stuck to the window because the temp dropped to -19C last night?
Wait. I’m projecting.
Henceforth this is what I will say to my students when they are being anything but adorable (which is almost always) but am not allowed to tell them that.
I’m stealing that (Your baby is as cute as Satan) for my comment the next time someone posts a picture of their baby on Facebook. I may lose a few friends that way.
I uphold that insect appendages are all WAY cuter than that button quail.
I hate birds. They absolutely terrify me, thank you Alfred Hitchcock.
Cards aren’t all warm and fuzzy anymore, hubby sent me a card once wishing me a speedy recovery from having a burr under my saddle.
Bugs don’t really have ears. So if someone says “cute as a bug’s ear”, that’s probably just a polite way of saying the baby isn’t really cute at all.
The day is here
there’s no more waitin’
your precious baby
is as cute a Satan!
Congratulations!
WTF Cards Inc.
Kind of hard not to be cuter than that button, isn’t it? Now I just need someone I know to have a baby so I can get that card….
It may be hard not to be cuter than insect appendage, but I’m pretty sure that quail’s done it. Bee’s knees are waaay cuter.
Fluja does videos about this, he’s a German DJ that lives in the USA. His videos are hysterical and he’s always deconstructing idioms in the best way EVER.
I just had a very long and interesting fb thread all about strange sayings that really “get my goat” and so many people chimed in. But no one brought this one up but I shall put in your vote for this phrase.
That bird has nothing on the satan owls: http://imgur.com/gallery/QgrFv
Forget all that button stuff – has anyone besides me noticed that squirrel is totally hung?
My first thought after reading the words “quail button” was quail poop. Is she talking about quail poop? How is quail poop cute? Then I finished reading and now I’m just confused.
Slightly off topic but……are you doing a 2013 calendar?? Please, please, please say yes. I love this year’s (my mother in law, not so much since she didn’t get the humor of Beyonce when she visited) and I’d definitely buy another one!
I’m going to start saying, “cute as anything BUT a button” ’cause that thing is ugly as fuck.
I can’t believe you missed out on the taxidermied rodeo squirrel riding a rattlesnake. That would have been so perfect for your collection! Maybe Victor secretly bid on it, and you’ll find it under the Christmas tree. I know I don’t have to ask you to take a picture of that!
Well actually that’s a really bad picture. When I kinda sorta went (more) insane last year I decided to hatch some button quail eggs, and now have three of these as pets. They are pretty cute, BUT the babies are insanely adorably cute. Like one inch high fluffy chick cute.
Honestly.
Really.
^^^ Thats weird^^^
It says I recently posted… New Themes: Opti and Hatch. But I didn’t.
This is me. http://misanthropicmomsgroup.wordpress.com/
I often wonder about those old idioms. Like where did “fit as a fiddle” or “cut to the chase” or “up a blind alley” come from anyway?
Too funny since I thought of that one last week! I should start a list of these ridiculous phrases…
Since we have ‘cute as a bug’s ear’ it should be ‘cute as Satan’s…?’ How about cockle? I know it makes no sense, but I like how it sounds. Damn. Stuck in my head now.
I really do think buttons are cute. But then, I make them, so you’d hope I would. I’m one of those people that exist to make the rest of you look normal, clearly.
I feel this blog post does great injustice to all the cute, sexy and gorgeous buttons I’m proud to have associated with over the years…
The squirrel riding a snake is the most hilariously awesome thing I’ve seen in a long time! 😀
I LOVE that I clicked on the “Your baby is as cute as Satan” link and found a review that said – About the product:
This might be a card someone would keep for decoration in years to come.
I love that I now know where “cute as a button” comes from.
Quail button? Really? That does sound satanic. I wonder if I could keep one as a pet?
Velcro is pretty adorable.
And Victor likes to pretend he’s normal….
I am thinking everyone is cuter than a quail button…perhaps they meant butt??? It is like that game you play when you whisper in someone’s ear…it has just evolved in the saying..LOL.
Reading the book…you just met Victor…thoroughly enjoying it…laughing my ass off!
I think I finally understand why all the birds started attacking people in that one Alfred Hitchcock movie. I could just see a Button Quail sitting in a tiny armchair like a Mafia don, ordering the birds to KILL EVERYONE.
“As fascinating as a safety pin” is actually pretty brilliant.
1. Sort of like “safe as a kitten”. Where did THAT expression come from? Unless protected, kittens are in almost constant peril.
2. I don’t know where you found that ugly button quail photo, because they are normally really cute. Just do a Google search on . Freakin’ adorable!
My baby is due in March, I really hope someone’s gives me a “your baby is a cute as satan” card.
I think that slightly more cuddly versions of these exist. Somehow you managed to find cousin Ned from the bad side of the gene pool 😛
My dad would tell me I was “cuter than a bug’s dink” when I was little – I’ve never heard the “bug’s ear” version before.
But I use the “bug’s dink” line all the time, usually when I’m telling someone how cute their child is. The looks I get range from perplexed to mild panic/terror. Totally worth it.
Birds are freakish.
I’ll grant you the big one is ugly, but a handful of baby ones is cut as…. Uh we’ll, a button.
http://www.zebrafinch.com/pricelist/Quail_eggs.html
Well. Stupid autocorrect.
You made Button Quail baby chick sad. http://grovelandquailfarm.com/ButtonQuail/piedBQ/piedchick.jpg
CUTE. autocorrect makes me rage… And post multiple times to correct my mistakes.
I just had this convo on Friday! Well, the cute as a button convo……with a baby.
I was playing with my friend’s 3 month old and said to him(in that baby voice that automatically pops out around babies) “You are cute as a button!! I don’t know why they say that, buttons aren’t exactly cute? I didn’t diss you did I? You are a very handsome little dude” He, no joke, gave me his mommy’s glare when I compared him to a button. Clearly the babe knows!!
Hopefully the photographer just caught that bird at a very bad time.
Give him the benefit of the doubt.
Satan bird haters.
My friend and I were talking about a bird called the Shoebill this week, and how it must be what the bird creatures from The Dark Crystal are based on. I’d stick a picture on here, but I don’t know how. Google has some good ones.
But…but I DO think it’s cute. I also think there are some very cute buttons out there. Aaargh, I’m a freak. Thank God you’re here to point out my freakishness.
Tons of these gems heard on a daily basis if you grew up in the deep south. “Ugly as homemade soap” was always one of my favorites.
@Tom Stronach I am totally calling them potty loos now!
Also: sweet as a zipper. As in: “That potty loo smelled as sweet as a zipper!”
So, saving the balloon Baggins’ house for later? Good idea to keep some things in reserve. (For those who cannot wait, check the recent archives links for “I didn’t buy this but I did ask Victor if he’d buy it for me. “
You SOOOOOO need the rattlesnake riding squirrel! What was Victor thinking?!
How about colder than a witch’s tit? Why are their boobs so frigid? Flying at night maybe? Somebody explain that one?!
This will make you think quail are cute. I have no idea who owns this blog, I just looked for quail pics because we have them in our backyard. This story is as cute as a button!
http://www.birdingisfun.com/2011/08/fathers-day-quail-story.html
You need to see a mouse lemur (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IchJX129kmQ) OR elephant shrew (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-wrIOW8mcvQ). Now those are cute!
You are as cute as the fold in my left sleeve.
Cute as a pigeon in a plague mask?
Cause that’s what that awful thing looks like….
Googled it. It’s confirmed and true as a shoe. I never did think actual buttons were cute.
I saw that snake and squirrel on my flipboard yesterday and immediately thought of you
That Squirrel has some CAHUNAS!! Literally and figuratively.
Can you explain “snug as a bug in a rug”? I’ve never understood that one but I can’t imagine a bug in a rug would be very snug since people step on rugs and then it would be squished.
Tee Hee Tom Stronach, I assure you Americans don’t call them potty loos. 🙂 I think you mean port-a-potties?
I’m pretty sure I heard that “cute as a button” referred to the small flowers men used to wear in their button holes (like boutonnieres). There’s even a flower called a “bachelor’s button.” I also think it might have originally been “acute as a button”…something to do with the brightness or freshness of the man’s button flower reflected the strength of his love while courting and if the flower faded too quickly it meant his love would too. Or something.
There ain’t nothin’ cute about that button. Looks gamey.
There is totally a market for “Your baby is as cute as satan” cards.
How about “snug as a bug in a rug” ?? I don’t really want bugs in my rugs…EEEWWWW
I cannot believe you didn’t get that snake-riding squirrel. That’s SO you!
The cowboy (snakeboy?) squirrel is probably the penultimate taxidermied set-up EVER. Please tell me that Victor saw the merit in that creation and said that if it were, indeed, still for sale, he would have made SURE it became yours.
I don’t know, Jenny. I always thought your whole family are “cute as buttons”. And now that you have showed me the button quail, I double that comment. I think the quail is adorable but then I am partial to birds and animals and insects and trees and skies and flowers and……..
cute as a button. that’s up there with “slept like a baby.” i used to say that until i actually had a baby. baby’s don’t fucking sleep??? WTF? it’s like “i slept like i was in the eye of a hurricane waiting for it to stop and drop my bed in my house on top of a boat or another house.” do. not. get. it.
Pretty much all birds terrify me, but that has gotta be in the top 5%. I think, from now on, when someone says something is “cute as a button” we all know that the proper response is “Noooooooooooooo!”
Like Heather said, “fascinating as a safety pin” is really quite perfect – because safety pins are FASTEN-ating… (get it?) It’s a terrible pun, but it’s worth the stretch!
I’m going to start saying “sweet as a zipper” just to mess with people. =)
I’m pretty sure if I told my friends that their baby was as cute as Satan, they’d smack me.
But I have to admit, I’m tempted to try it and see…
This post is a perfect example of why I follow your blog—because it proves that I am not the only person in the world asking questions like this.
Despite being extremely southern, I’ve never actually used that term.
…probably because it’s typically reserved for babies and I tend to not look at/comment on babies because they’re rarely cute and I can’t lie and say they are. Also they are noisy and…well, I just don’t like them, honestly.
O Dear…..had no idea the about the button being a quail button!
LOVE LOVE LOVE the time travel comic strip! 🙂
Thankfully, NO ONE ever says “you’re cute as a slug” because slugs are creepy, in that slimy, alien sort of way. And if someone did say it, I doubt it would be a term of endearment.
May I have that greeting card? Definitely hoping it shows up in your shop!
I think I like when Victor is your partner in comedy better than when he’s the straight man!
I think that quail just stole my soul. Kill it with fire!!
I looked at the photo of the squirrel and the rattlesnake and WOW that squirrels got balls.
Using a relatively vague definition of “cute” I bet….
I’ve always wondered that exact same thing. I say to my kitten ‘You’re as cute as a button! Wait, actually much cuter. Buttons aren’t even *that* cute.’
But personally I like the quail…I think it’s cute. Does that make me a devil-worshiper or something? Help.
Wow I never knew that’s what “button” looks like. It does look a little cute if u look at if with one eye closed, if ya know what I mean haha
Aw, that button is cute. I wouldn’t ever tell someone their baby was as cute as satan, but I am sure my usual response of nervously sticking my head over the pram and saying “what is it?” has the same kind of effect..
Not only are you funny, but you educate as well. You’re cute as a… college professor.
Victor nailed it. That looks about as appealing as a monster right before it eats off my face. People in the olden days sure had sick senses of humor! 😉
Maybe back in the day, “Satanic” was the it look, you know?
I used to work for the Velcro company. True story.
Up close, Velcro nearly isn’t as cute as you’d think. It’s very claw-like and grabby and clingy.
Like Tom Cruise.
Is that really a button.. I find it more of a cute little quail pet.. lol..
But how could button have ever made it into the urban dictionary, coming from QUAIL button? I mean, who’s ever heard of a quail button – so much so that you would even define it as cute?
But quail are so taaasty. Maybe it means you look “good enough to eat” which is another phrase that has always freaked me out. And what the hell is “Snug as a bug in a rug”? I mean, eww…
My babies are totally as cute as Satan.
me: Why do people say “cute as a button”? I’ve literally never seen a button and thought “HOW CUTE”. If anything it’s barely functional. It’s like saying that you’re “adorable as velcro”.
Victor: Or sweet as a zipper.
LOL – these actually have lot’s of meaning for me 🙂 My cats are named Velcro and Zipper and they are both adorable and sweet!
How can you not think that’s the cutest little bird ever! If you want to die of cuteness, just google for images of button quail and look at the handful of chicks!
You finaly seem to be rubbing off on Victor. How many years of marriage did it take? 😀
“Adorable as a Baby Anteater.” I win.
This post was as truthful as a fan blade. (Fan blades are full of truth. As anyone.)
Also whenever I spawn I totally hope people give me that greeting card.
Sigh. *Ask anyone. Fingers not working. Please insert more coffee.
That squirrel and snake are fabulous! Too bad you did not get it.
I used to own a half dozen button quail. They were tiny and adorable, but every. single. one. was dumb as a post.
<3,
-J
I love reading your blog and just saw this fine example of taxidermy and thought of you
http://www.incrediblethings.com/pets/wtf-taxidermy-squirrel-riding-rattlesnake/
Most children are satans…that’s why they are so red when they come out and that little vein in their foreheads looks like it’s going to explode. They cuten up and become less annoying but let’s be real…who else can high kick you in the cervix and not be clotheslined? They know they are getting away with murder so the little shits do it on purpose.
I blogged today about how bathrooms will tell you if your boo is a douche. I feel some of the traits can be cross applied here.
http://bloggingwench.weebly.com/the-dumbest-thing-youll-read-today.html
That’s by far one of the scariest birds I’ve ever seen.
I would like to tell some people they have children as cute as Satan.
But alas I am a-feared that some folks who may not be readers of your blog would take it the wrong way. People will call police…it would be a whole big conflama… Will you come bail me out as I am led away in cuffs?
Oh my God, I learned something. What is this site coming to?
But if the button had a tiny little koala bear face on it, that would indeed be a very cute button. So in that case, “cute as this particular button” really would be a compliment.
Your baby is repulsive as perilously plump poultry. Period.
Not yours of course…but the random, unpleasant hypothetical one, of course.
I don’t know if anyone else has posted this but here’s a pic of a squirrel bronco busting a snake (taxidermy)…http://goo.gl/e3ozA
I think the morning start was supposed to be the most beautiful of angels.
“Cute” is short for “acute,” which is to say “sharp, pointed, like the point of a needle.”
(from Latin “acus,” needle)
It basically means “tiny,” which fits both the button and the bug’s ear similia.
Wonder if that bird has some kind of secret skill that will put us all to shame for making fun of it….though I’m betting on it just being plain old ugly.
In semi-related news, my grandma got all dressed up one night and the neighbor told her she looked like a peacock….. I wonder if this is similar to the button quail pigeon looking thing?
Victor: I want that on a greeting card.
And THAT’S why you guys stay married!
I had to do a double take — thought maybe you had also written “How to Tell if your Cat is Trying to Kill You.”
there are so many cute things in this world for a major phrase to involve a demon bird. Cute as a chickadee, maybe? Those things are so cute we’ve practically been ritualistically sacrificing them by giving them to toddlers as brightly painted Easter gifts.
from the shit you didn’t come up with section:
a) someone needs to buy you that rodeo squirrel stat! find the owner!
b) um, does that dead squirrel have giant furry balls or am i seeing things?
that is all
The quote that has always bothered me is “Get off your high horse”. The question that I have is it #1. A really tall horse, or #2. A pot smoking horse. And why would I want to get off either one?
I love you so much! You’re so funny. You kill me! (Much like Satan would??)
In our family the say is “Cuter than a bugs brassiere” – can you imagine how cute that would be? I tiny little bra made specifically for a bug? I LOVE the images it evokes!
I saw the pic below and immediately wondered if it was the newest addition to your collection…
http://cheezburger.com/6754157568
If it’s not yours, it should be!
^ My above comment has nothing to do with this post… I just had to know if the pictured awesomeness was yours… 😉
I was totally going to send you the artical on the rodeo squirrel riding the snake!!!!! but maybe i will be the first to show you this!
http://www.geekologie.com/2012/11/thats-actually-not-that-bad-a-tardis-ref.php
enjoy!
I actually do think buttons are cute…
I totally get the bronco bull riding squirrel on a snake, but where in the world would you find a mini white squirrel cowboy hat?
OK I’m thinking etymologically here…Oh, I just remembered, no-one cares.
Counter argument: http://www.zebrafinch.com/chicks_quail.jpg
You know, it’s like when you say, “well bless your heart!” to tell someone that they’re really stupid.