A dream within a dream is not always as romantic as it sounds.

in Random Crap

I just had a dream that my dead grandmother sewed up my head wound with fishing wire, and then when I woke up my head was bleeding and there was fishing wire sewn into it.

Also, my house was filled with pianos.

Then I woke up again and realized that I’d been dreaming inside a dream and I tentatively reached up to feel my head and there was still fishing line in it.  But I didn’t have much time to worry about it because I looked up and there’s King Henry VIII with a cleaver and I woke up again.  The point is, I’m pretty sure that this is all still a dream and so you should skip work, and eat anything you want, and maybe go make out with that cutie you’ve been lightly flirting with for the past month.  That way you either get a day off and some egg rolls or you at least have a really nice dream.  Everyone wins.

PS.  Watch out for Henry VIII.  That guy’s a bastard.

PPS.  I just did the spellcheck and it was all “NO MISSPELLINGS FOUND.”  Definitely a dream.

323 thoughts on “A dream within a dream is not always as romantic as it sounds.”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. I am pretty sure if I had the whole inception thing going on this morning I would of stayed in bed…but you know your warning comes to late for this East Coaster…he he he I’m a coaster…

  3. I dreamed I was having a secret affair with George Clooney. I think you should leave your dream and join me in mine.

  5. If this is a dream than it’s a slightly unpleasant kind-of nightmare. One that makes you wake up, shrug, roll over and go back to sleep.

  6. In such a situation, always check for Leonardo DiCaprio. That’s a dead giveaway you’re either in trouble, or shit is about to get sexy as hell.

  9. Dear Work: I cannot come in today because The Bloggess told me not to. Love, Me.

    P.S. where’s my totem? It’s fishing wire.

  10. Henry VIII is a bastard. But, at one point he was incredibly handsome. Maybe it would have been a better dream had you woken up to young Henry VIII.

  11. And then I woke up and told my husband about my dream and he was like “What, Ewan MacGregor wasn’t available?” And I was like “best husband EVER”.

  13. I was totally going to comment on the actual creepy dream within a dream and – EEK! – King Henry VIII, but then the spellcheck thing threw me off. WTF? I have never – EVER – had a post without spelling errors. Clearly you’re dreaming. Which means I’m in your dream, commenting. Which means maybe you can dream me up some coffee and a kid who likes to go to school instead of one we have to drag out of the house a half hour late feeling like asshole parents, and–

    Sorry, I’m over-sharing again. In your dream. You should have written me in better, though. Who’s fault is that?

  14. Its 12/12/12 today and Pandit Ravi Shankar passed away. Also Paul McCartney’s replacing Kurt Cobain in a Nirvana Reunion and for the first time EVER I am the first commenter for your blog post you updated at 5:45 am your time…definitely a dream!!

  15. I have a friend who says she wants to go back in time to, “taser Henry VIII in the pee-pee.” Now THAT would also be a cool dream.

    Stay home and clear you house of fishing wire.

    Or just the first part.

  17. Yesterday morning, as I was struggling to get out of bed and make some coffee so my boyfriend could fuel himself to work, I had a dream that I was dreaming, and in the dream inside the dream, I kept daydreaming. Needless to say, he ended up microwaving old coffee our roommate left behind the night before.

  18. Hmm…if you had signed the post “Dr.Jenny”, I probably could have used it as a doctor’s note for the day off. Better luck next time I guess.

  19. When I wake up, I shower, get my kid up, get us totally ready and take her to school, only to find out that the alien apocalypse means that the buses aren’t running on time. Then I wake up again. It really pisses me off bc I have to shower twice that day.

  20. When I woke up very early this morning, I immediately went to my front door and opened it, which is odd enough. But there was a flyer taped to the door about a cat who has been missing since 12.12.12. So, like 20 minutes? I’m pretty sure this is a weird dream that symbolizes… something about searching and loss and I guess I’ll call my best friend about it later.

  24. I had a dream last night that Ralph Macchio wanted to marry my daughter. Definitely a nightmare.

  25. I was totally just watching that movie, spooky! As for 12/12/12 I’m not even a little bit scared

  26. I’d write you a comment but I am off to eat some Donettes, which they no longer make, have an affair, and later self loathe because I found out it was no dream. Bogus.

  27. I’ve been watching too much West Wing lately, the other night I had a dream where I was talking to Martin Sheen and trying to convince him to run for president since he did such a good job in the series. Then the plane I was in took off, BACKWARDS. I either need to drink more (my vote) or less…

  28. OMG! I have these, but for some reason mine usually involves really needing to go to the toilet to wee.. I really don’t know why. When I was a kid, I used to get so scared that I used to pinch myself before I went to the toilet just to check that I wasn’t dreaming. Fortunately as an adult I haven’t pissed the bed…yet. But I think that is mainly down to the fact that I am always weeing in such strange places in my dream that I know I am dreaming.. 🙂

  29. i dreamed i read your blog and it was just like the movie inception only way better, funnier, and i stayed awake through the whole post. you are awesome and i don’t think i am dreaming.

  30. It’s the day for funky ass dreams. I had one where I spent a good 20 minutes picking out worms embedded in my feet (yes, beyond gross) then another where my husband let some thugs into our home at 5:15 am and they stole his desktop. But not my laptop or the iPad, so it’s okay.

  34. I really want today not to be a dream. I’ve already written 5 pages about Jewish funerary practices during the Diaspora- I REALLY don’t want to have to write them again.

  37. Funny that you should post about a dream today of all days. Last night I had a dream that I was back at my high school graduation (12 years ago) and I sat down and looked over and you were sitting right next to me. I was SO excited to finally meet you. You were dead smack in the middle of a panic attack since there were so many people and you were pouring sweat (a funny amount of sweat, like we’re talking gallons just flying out of your pores). Anywho… I woke up super excited that I had met you only to realize it was a dream. Wah wah

    Keep being amazing!!! Merry Christmas

  38. I’ve had the dream inside a dream dream, but I’ve never had a dream inside a dream inside a dream inside a dream dream. Is that enough inside a dreams there? My daughter was easy to get ready for school this morning, so it’s entirely possible that I am still dreaming too. So, maybe my anniversary wasn’t the horribly shitty day it was yesterday? Rock on!!

  40. Oh God, that WOULD be my day – it’s been awful already and all I need is to wake up and have to live through the last few hours again but with some other fucked up nonsense going on.

  41. I wish I could stay home! I’m laying here trying to figure out how to take the day off and I got nothing. Guess I’ll go throw some clothes on and go make some money to pay off those Christmas presents I bought.

  42. Watch out for Henry, especially if he’s holding his hands behind his back. He could have hiding an axe back there. He’s not exactly user-friendly when it comes to women or wives.

    And if you’re going to do the egg roll thing, at least wash it down with a little egg drop soup!

  43. I haven’t dreamed I was dreaming in a long time. But the other night I dreamed I was having a conversation with a small, talking camel. I warned him to watch out for my Great Dane.

    The dream interpretation sites won’t even try to explain that one.

  44. Woa, maybe once a year I come downstairs in my jammies and today happened to be it. Perhaps I’m not supposed to go run all those errands on my list today? If I close my laptop I could flop over and go back to sleep here on the couch…zzz

  47. I am already scheduled off for a vacation day,
    but I’m going to pretend that I called out sick.
    It makes everything more exciting.

  48. I’m going to make a set of bracelets that say WWJLD: What would Jenny Lawson do? I will live every day as if it were really a dream. It might not end well, because I would probably attempt to fly and use magic on people and then they’d put me away in a padded room. But egg rolls….mmmmmm

  49. Okay. Fine.

    I’m totally on my way to make out with that cutie that I’ve been flirting with but if Victor gets upset about it there is only you to blame because you DROVE ME TO DO IT.

  54. The f*ck-load of pianos in your house sounds like the weirdest part of the dream. Maybe stay off the cheese before bedtime?

  55. Why do you get all the good dreams? Usually I get painfully injured in a quest to save/take over the world. I suggest you check Victor. If he has blood on his hands, we know who sewed up your head.

  56. Well if it’s a dream, then I won’t have any problem passing my math final this morning. Score!

  58. I just had a sort of hunger games dream but it was underwater and I was being chased by a shark that was possessed by a ghost who wanted me to die so that he could possess my body and be alive again. Glad to be awake now

  59. Could have been worse – your grannie could have used piano wire and your house full of fish….

  63. So that’s why I ate the Giant Kit Kat for breakfast instead of the blueberry muffin! it was delicious and thank you for the idea.

  64. I was so happy to read your post. The spellcheck thing clinched it for me. I called in fuck you to work, and ate a ginormous piece of chocolate cake for breakfast. Then I came back for a second giggle and re-read your post, and there may not be any spelling errors, but there is a major typo “and there was fishing line it”. So now I’ve probably gained 10 pounds and been fired. And I blame you.

  65. Are you sure the elf wasn’t the one that sewed up your head with fishing line? I bet he is one giving you all these bad dreams. You, know because he is evil.

  66. Your dreams within dreams are so much more exciting than mine! Mine are all “Ah yes I’m responsible and awake and ready to shower. Only, why is it so hard to get my shirt off? This doesn’t happen in real life!” Then I wake up and realize I’m late. Nary a Tudor in sight.

  68. I had a dream about my ex. the one I was supposed to be with. oh well. if It was meant to be it would be, right? and now I feel like im still dreaming, and kind of wish I was. oh well.

  69. This dream sucks. I am exhausted in this dream world. But, at least this dream world matches my plans for today. I have to run to the cable company so I plan on treating myself to a Chinese Buffet which includes egg rolls. So I will get twice the egg rolls but only half the calories. So I take it back this dream isn’t half bad.

  70. I had a dream where I was being held captive by Russians with a bunch of one-hit-wonder bands from the 60’s. I ran off and encountered my mother, who was driving a van filled with penguins. You see, they were apparently going to be living with us from now on. I accepted this and went home, leaving the bands to their fate.

    Also wik-At the very moment I was reading this post, I was debating leaving work to go work on a work project. Now, granted, my “work project” is building the Cinderella Castle out of gingerbread, but it’s work nonetheless. Right? Right.

    And now you’ve made up my horribly indecisive mind for me, so I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  72. You all are talking about these funky dreams filled with penguins and fishing wire, but the worst ones are the ordinary ones, where you’re making dinner and reading the newspaper or vacuuming the living room rug. Not only do you bore yourself awake, you realise you STILL have to do those things. And it’s unfair because it should that you did them because you dreamed them.

    That, my friends, is one of the worst ways to wake up.

  74. I don’t dream very often. And I certainly am not able to multitask in my dreams. So look at it that way – you’re the lucky one!

  75. So glad I wasn’t the only one having strange dreams last night. Although I knew mine was a dream because there aren’t any three story Denny’s restaurants on the beach. Plus it was filled with people I haven’t seen since high school. And even if there were I would never be trying to get my friends fiance to face up to his drinking problem intervention style, while standing on the table screaming at him at the top of my lungs and wearing a full length ball gown. Not to mention that there was a whole Scooby Doo sub plot going on in this dream that I can’t quite recall except that I know we broke into two groups at one point to look for clues.
    No more eating chocolate covered caramels and cranberry sierra mist spiked with cheap vodka before bed for me!

  77. Is this a sign that the Mayans were, in fact, dyslexic (12/12/12)?

    Also, I recently visited an old saloon (years ago, it was owned by my great-grandfather and great-uncle) in a run-down, almost abandoned mining town deep in the Colorado Rockies, and a guy came in with a pretty bad head wound. Another guy grabbed some pliers, fishing wire, and a bottle of Tequila (to sterilize the wound), and stiched him up on the table next to us. It was kind of awesome.

  80. Grandma sounds clever with the fishing string. 😉

    Your dream would have been a nightmare within a nightmare if the roles were reversed and Henry VIII was sewing up your head (can’t trust him with that) and Grandma was standing over you with a cleaver when you awoke!

  82. No misspelled words would be a dream! Egg rolls and making out with bartender (I have now co-worker that is make-out worthy) for everyone. That sounds like a great day… er, dream!

  83. I dreamed I sent my husband for donuts and he ate them all before he go back. He was waiving the box around and flaunting the emptiness! When I woke up I was still mad, he just didn’t understand when I complained that “you ate all the donuts you bastard!”

  87. Ok if you insist. I had sworn off men forever (again), but now I’ll have to make out with that cute barely-legal boy with the faux-hawk that always comes in to the coffee shop where I work. Sigh.

    And last night I dreamt that my old co-worker died because a ship ran into my old workplace (which is landlocked, btw) and killed her. And also that her dad was Steve Carrell. Which I’m PRETTY sure isn’t true. . .

  88. But was it Henry VIII when he was a hot young rockstar type king, or the fat, gouty, doughy dude he became later? I suppose if he’s sporting a cleaver it doesn’t really matter except you’d easily escape the fat gouty version.

  89. I just dreamed I was giving into being killed in the zombie apocalypse. I blame my friend for saying the words zombie apocalypse last night after traumatizing me at the mall……

  91. Crap, I was already at work when you posted this. But when you go to work at 6 and get off at 10, that’s almost like skipping anyway. I also have that Herman’s Hermits song stuck in my head now, so thanks for that.

  92. Head wounds, Henry the 8th, and fishing-wire-ception? Whoa. I totally wish I had read this before going to work today. Obviously we’re all in a dream, and I’m wasting mine!

  93. Did you eat a poisoned peach given to you by a dwarf? Watch out , for David Bowie is about to steal your kid or something.

  94. What is it that you like to say? “Sometimes you have to lean into the weird”. My 12 yr old son added to it, saying”Yeah, and sometimes you have to roll in it!” Well, this is one of those times. Just so you know you are not alone, I have been having some wicked crazy dreams too. Maybe it has something to do with the world ending in 9 days. Love ya!

  96. What an intense dream. I hate when I have a dream inside of a dream. I have a recurring dream that is like that. I have it every couple of years or so. The egg rolls sound good, YUM!

  99. I’m glad I’m not the only one. I woke up in the middle of the night (for real) but was so certain it was a dream I debated seeing if I could fly.

    Thankfully, I live on the first floor, it was feezing outside, and I decided that the orange juice tasted too real so maybe I’d postpone that attempt for a few hours.

    A also worried that Bloody Face from American Horror Story was hiding in our Christmas tree, which takes all the joy out of the holiday.

  100. If I am dreaming that means I’m sleeping, yeah! In other news, sleep is seeming a lot more like life with it’s “you should clean the house” and “the kids actually *should* be fed.” Damn, I need better dreams.

  101. I took the morning off work, got some sleep and had long involved crazy dreams. Woke up to read your post. Now that’s validation that I took the right course of action! Thanks!

  102. Even thought that sounded slightly nightmarish, it also sounds kind of awesome. Besides, my dog has always hated Henry VIII so he would dream protect me.

  104. “and there was still fishing line it.” No misspellings found, but possibly a word missing?

    I drop words all the time when I type. I like to think it’s because I think faster than I type. But it’s probably just brain damage.

    (Fixed! ~ Jenny)

  106. That dream sounds terrifying. And incredible. I don’t think I have the imagination to even create dreams like that. The worst dreams (for me) are when my husband does something dumb and then I wake up still pissed at him. Luckily, he’s very understanding of my ‘I’m mad at you because you were a jerk in my dream’ justifications.

  110. After a risky surgery last month I was home on delightful medication and dreamed yellow striped raccoons were eating my shoes in the closet while ugly baby bunnies looked on. (my boyfriend actually squirts the coons he catches in his yard with yellow paint before turning them loose in the park ) I sleep-walked through my investigation and woke up in the kitchen clutching a bag of ranch flavored Doritos. Percocet makes bedtime a Texas Chainsaw Massacre event. With snacks.

  113. I have only had the priviledge of having a dream inside of a dream, but never a dream inside a dream inside a dream inside a dream. You are one special lady to have that…LOL.

  114. henry OBVIOUSLY doesn’t realize who he’s fucking with then. because just look at who is on your side.

  115. My feverish daughter hallucinated the other night and told me she kept seeing arms floating by her head. Guess who couldn’t get back to sleep? Yup, me. Of course, this lends new light to the phrase, “Give me a hand or two…”

  120. Henry the VIII is already well-known in my family for being a bastard. My mom was on $100,000 pyramid back in the day. And the answer was “Famous Henry’s” for reasons only known to the guy giving clues, he said “8th” like it was a last name, or even a proper clue. Shockingly my mom did not figure out the answer. So now we all hate Henry the VIII, plus that guy, whoever he was. Damn him!

    BTW I just discovered your blog last week, and you’re now my favorite person. Of all time. Possibly better than Nathan Fillion, though Captain Jack Harkness is still my imaginary boyfriend.

  122. Dreams are wack, yo. I never know what crazy shit I’m going to get. Usually they’re horrible and full of gore, but sometimes I get normal-ish ones.

  123. Oy! I hate these dreams, especially when they’re of the horror variety.

    Oh! Someone’s trying to kill me – run! *Sigh* Thank god, it was just a dream. Oh NO! They’re still killing me!

  125. I had a dream last night, I was driving aggressively when the engine died and every warning light turned on. I just remember saying “oh no, oh no, oh no…” Then I woke up. Unless that actually happened, I crashed, and this is my coma dream…

  126. Well, I am well and truly awake after reading that terrifying dream! wow! The thing about my nightmares is they are nonsensical, scary at the time, but you usually wake up and are like WTF that wasn’t scary! Glad it’s morning and I don’t have to sleep, or I might have that dream, too!

    Oh and by the way, a disturbing dream within a dream? Mr Poe would most certainly approve!

  127. The problem with different time zones is I read this after working a whole day. Or dreaming about working a whole day.

  130. I once had the dream about getting up, getting showered, getting dressed, waking up to find that was all a dream and then getting up, getting showered, getting dressed, and then REALLY woke up to find that I had dreamed I was dreaming about taking a shower and then I was REALLY upset that I had to do it a third time for real and by then I was late for work.

  132. I can’t remember the last time that I genuinely laughed. I really really needed a laugh lately- I knew that your book would amuse me but I didn’t think that it would make me laugh so hard that it reached a pitch that only my dogs could hear!(it was at the pt with the rattlesnake and your husband). It felt so good to laugh again- thank you for that.
    All the best,
    Rhea (Trinidad, West Indies)

  133. Only you would wind up stressed over a dream within a dream within… I’m totally lost, now!
    I think this was a great post, unless I’m dreaming of reading it, that is…

  134. I wanted to say something like;

    “King Henry VII wasn’t a such a peach either”

    but according to Wikipedia he wasn’t too bad; maintaining peace and economic prosperity and all …

  135. I once had a dream that I was in the cast of “Friends” and everyone was trying to get my liver. I was totally committed to this dream and desperately escaping the whole freaking cast coming at me with knives…and the Kelsey Grammer walked into the scene. THAT was when I said to my dream self, “OK this is bullshit because he is not even in this time slot.”

  139. That is pretty dang creepy. J am sure there is some Freudian meaning to all of this. I would guess that the fishing wire was really piano wire representing bondage and the cleaver was really a phallic symbol for a penis.
    I would recommend shop therapy.

  140. I wanted to get to know Henry VIII a little better, because I want to write him as a character in a book I’ve got in mind, but now I’m worried. Perhaps I should avoid him.

  141. DUDE. I totally had a crazy-vivid dream about my deceased grandma last night, and in my dream I knew that she was, you know, a ghost, so I also asked her about my deceased grandpa, and she said he’d been doing a lot of fishing, but needed better rain gear. I ALSO HAD A DREAM ABOUT DEAD GRANDMAS AND FISHING STUFF. That is some crazy. Maybe the moon is in a place that causes grandma/fishing tackle dreams?

  142. You’re doing better than my former neighbor, in that – after some heavy drinking and being bro-tackled by a visiting friend of his – he received a head wound from the brick corner by my apartment door. His lack of health insurance and common sense (due to both excessive alcohol consumption and weed ingestion over time) lead him to not want to go to the hospital. So, another neighbor super-glued the gushing gash for him. In real life. Not a dream.

  143. Nah, that’s good luck. Henry VIII with a cleaver – clearly a reference to Anne of Cleves, fourth wife, not put to death and outlasted the lot of them. Mind you, the marriage was annulled because she was so plain he refused to consummate it. A rare case of not lying back and thinking of England. So perhaps not good luck.

  144. That’s pretty crazy dreams. And I’ve had some pretty crazy dreams lately… but not in the cool fun way you’ve been having them, but in the “I’m truly mental and may need to be locked up for the next 6 months” way (mostly because I’m pregnant and that gives you truly INSANE dreams.) I woke up this morning hyperventilating from one of my dreams and had to pee so dang bad, but was too terrified to move and I honestly thought a moment about wetting the bed because that would force my husband to wake up and then if he was awake I would feel a ton better and he could make sure the weird amish aunt and uncle from my dream weren’t in the bathroom ready to beat me with the broom stick again. It doesn’t sound nearly as scary typing it out as it was in my dream.

  145. Am I the only one who read that “my head WOWnd with fishing wire” instead of “my head WOOnd with fishing wire”? I was trying to figure out why she’d be sewing it up when it was already wrapped with fishing wire. Unless she was making you a fishing wire weave. That would be kind of cool.

  147. HA!

    Had to a report on Henry VIII during high school once…

    that report blew.

    My friend had to do one on Winston Churchill…

    creatively we came up with a story of Henry and Winston being besties. That was the best.

  149. I sometimes realize that I am dreaming and I try to make myself wake up, and then my eyes just keep getting larger and larger in the dream as I try to open them. And sometimes I do wake up but keep having the dream, which really freaks my husband out since I am awake AND having a conversation with someone invisible.

  151. You know, I love your writing, but, you haven’t really written anything lately.
    You write about a one minute conversation with your husband.
    You write about a caption after a pic of your kitten.
    I’m just curious, where did the actual ‘writing’ go?
    It seems like your ‘bloggess’ column is just an after thought, after your ‘whatever’ life.
    We’re here for the writer.
    Where’s the writing?
    Where are the introspective and funny, yet tough actual ‘articles’?
    I love you, but it seems as if you have forgotten how to write and now, since you have an audience, you are just leaning back to everyone behind you and telling some 5 second joke or something.
    I want more. No more conversations between you and your husband.
    No more pics of your cat, that are classified as some type of ‘post’.
    Fuck, I can post stupid convos with my boyfriend, and pics of my cat and I’m no writer at all.
    Fuck.
    You’re copping out. Those aren’t ‘columns’. I want writing, from a writer.
    You are letting me down.

    (1.You must be new here. I’ve never been anything special. Stupid cat pictures and short, angry Victor arguments are 90% of my life.
    2. There are plenty of talented writers you should probably visit instead. I suggest Hyperbole and a Half. Or just read my book and skip my blog if you want something more in depth.
    3. As you could tell from twitter, I’m trying to recover from the suicide of a close friend this weekend and I really don’t have it in me to be funny.
    4. The internet is MADE of cats. You should probably just skip right to books. Maybe Hemingway or Plath. They almost never posted about cat pictures and things worked out well for them.
    4. Telling a writer that they’ve forgotten how to write is probably not the best way to get them inspired.
    5. Go away if you must. You won’t hurt my feelings if you need to leave for less cat-infested pastures. I’m all I can be right now.
    6. You’re probably trying to help. Thank you for your opinions. Asshole.
    7. You are not an asshole. I’m grieving and drunk and don’t know how to tell my daughter about why one of her favorite people destroyed himself in the house she visited every day. I apologize.
    8. You’re letting me down too. I expected a video of people-falling-on-ice to entertain me while I read your comment and you did not include one. You’re letting us *all* down, Chris. ~ Jenny)

  153. Just wanted to say I think you’re swell, and my thought are with you and your family as you deal with this loss. My father committed suicide when I was a child, and I know how deeply it can affect all those who knew the person.

  154. Dear Chris,

    I come here to get to know the human being that is Jenny Lawson. And how better to get to know her than through her perspective, which is aptly portrayed through her dialogues and kitty-related humor. In case you don’t have an animal, let me help you out: the cat doesn’t *actually* say those things. Jenny creates the humor in those posts. I know, right? How *does* she do it? That’s what I’m here to find out.

    It’s not about writing long drawn out articles. If you want those, read a news blog. This is about making us laugh in one sentence filled with concepts we totally would never have thought up in a million years.

    Also, who takes the time to write a long comment just to denigrate a person? I think maybe you don’t get enough hugs.

  155. First, number 7 has me all teary eyed so forgive me for typos. I love your writting, short snippits of your life or indepth postings. My condolences to you and your family. Don’t let the oblivious let you down. XOXO

  156. I LOVE your blog! The conversations with Victor make me laugh every single time. It was the Beyonce post that got me hooked on your blog in the first place. Your cat is cute too! FUCK those who don’t understand who YOU are and have their own expectations of who you should be! I’m VERY sorry about your friend!!! Here’s to hope and healing!!

  157. @Chris, there is never a reason to be unkind to someone. If you don’t like a blog, then leave. This is the blog and it always has been.

  159. Don’t give this, or the thousand of comments which will probably jump on side, any more head space. It probably won’t help. You need head space for stuff that will help.

    My love.

  160. Fuck him, leave that shit up! This is your site, and you can write about kittens or sponges or ceramic roof tiles. Because DUH, it’s YOURS.

    And besides, he probably looks like that crackhead from Boyz N the Hood…offering some head in exchange for hamburgers.

  161. Big hugs Jenny.. Ignore douches (aka Chris’s) and I’m pretty sure that the Internet could actually benefit from an influx of cat pictures. And/or gaff taxidermy pictures. And if I had a blog, guaranteed that every little think my hubby and I argued about would be posted there.. If not only in the hope that for once someone would actually (and not just my dog or 4 year old) would back ME up for once – though I’m pretty sure I’m damn well always right. Kisses, hugs, and vodka. J

  163. Jenny,
    Personal tragedy on top of a national tragedy makes for a pretty shitty weekend all round. Sympathies and condolences go out to yourself, your family and all those affected by the terrible events in Newtown.
    As a ‘bloggess newbie’ (been following you for a few months. Though not in a stalker/victim sort of way..) your site & twitter feed never fails to surprise, amuse, move or inspire. So please keep it up.
    Speaking from Across the Pond, I rank you with George Lucas, Stephen King and Buffy the Vampire Slayer as one of the greatest American exports. I would include Slash in that list but, seeing as he’s from Stoke; he’s more of an import/export.
    I’ll sign off now as it’s 8:00 am over here and I probably should get up.
    Take care.

  164. Hey, Chris,

    *THIS ISN’T HER “WRITING” LOCATION*! This is her “random thoughts” blog.

    I don’t expect masterpiece novels on the Twitter feeds of authors, either.

  165. I’m a bit disappointed Chris mentioned nothing about posts focusing solely on taxidermied animals or metal chickens. Those are clearly just as awesome as Victor convos or pictures of cats. Who remembers the argument with Victor written on a cat? Pure genius.

    Oh, wait. I appreciate Jenny’s style. Poor Chris, missing out on the brilliance that is our Bloggess.

  166. I am not EVEN going to comment on this Chris … person (I assume it is a person, only humans know such mean-spirited words).
    I just want to say, Jenny, I admire you and how you can remain so strong when you are at your weakest!
    You are a hero to so many, with your ability to share your darkest weakness and sorrow.

    There are always people out there that will use thinly veiled vitriol to make themselves feel better.
    You can not escape that person, just remember, peoples words/actions/thoughts are like coats, they are everywhere and needed, but which one you choose to wear and wrap around you is up to you!

    ((((HUGS)))))

  167. I love Prin’s comment and also think Bloggess should NOT delete her ridiculously appropriate response. (he he, not enough hugs)

  169. @chris
    Pretty sure she’s not writing her blog for YOU. So you can take your ‘demands’ and your ‘needs’ and go find another place to satisfy them? Or, just not be an asshole?

  171. Jenny, Please don’t delete your response to the above commenter.
    Your real fans understand that you’re going through a horrendous hardship right now. As a mother I couldn’t imagine having to give my daughter the news you need to give yours. I adore your blog, love your cat commentary and your conversations with your husband make me laugh because I see my husband and I having very similar ones. Don’t let the above asshat drag you down or make you feel like a lesser writer because you’re not. Your real fans stand behind you and look forward to whatever you decide to blog about.

  172. Since all of my “that’s so ridiculous, WTF?!” YouTube history seems to come from you (in all the BEST ways), I’ll leave you with a few videos that have made me smile lately:

    A couple’s friends and family organize a flash mob of Les Miserables’ “One Day More” for their wedding:

    An international scavenger hunt I was in had an item–interview a couple married at least 60 years about the secrets to a successful marriage; these are the entries:
    http://cluster.gishwhes2012.com/couches.php

    And finally, a very dear friend of mine was one of the climbers killed on Mt. Hood three years ago. I can’t pretend to know your pain, because everyone’s is different. But this song has given me a lot of comfort, and I hope it grants you some as well:

  173. Wow, Chris, what a tool you are. Jenny is quite simply an awesome woman and she’s not here to perform tricks solely for your entertainment. Her blogs are entertaining and funny as hell. Even the “one minute conversations” with her husband. Obviously Jenny has a dedicated and loyal audience who appreciate her writing and the insights into her life, big or small. Maybe you should write a blog so we can all pay a visit and let you know how “disappointed” we are with your writing. I’m sure we’d all love to hear your conversations with your boyfriend…would you dance on command as you expect Jenny to do?

  174. Sounds to me like Chris needs a poo transplant…if they could find someone less shitty…which I’m not sure is possible right now…

  175. Jenny, I love your conversations with Victor and your cat pictures. In fact the first post I ever read on here was a convo between you and Victor, and that was funny so I kept reading. And I LOVE Hunter S. Thomcat. Your posts about him make my day. Seriously. You are one of my favorite writers, and a great one. So please don’t let this jerk tell you differently.
    I’m so so sorry about your friend, and I will be thinking about you and your family. What a horrible thing to ever deal with.. Especially this time of year. There are literally thousands upon thousands of people who genuinely love your posts, no matter how long they are. And we will all be here tomorrow and two weeks from now and ten years from now if you will have us, laughing along side of you. So please, take all the time you need, post a sentence, or not at all. And we will be checking back waiting for you to come back. <3 *hugs*

  177. Hugs to you and your family. The world is better because of your blog, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Peace out dear Jenny

  178. Leave it up Jenny, your book and blog kept me sane during a long long 9 months stay in hospital, and it’s obvious that Chris is not a Lawsbian at heart. We love you and feel your pain. I

  179. Jenny,

    You are such a wonderful and touching blogger. Your posts put a smile on my face regularly, when I don’t have anything else to smile about. You are someone to relate to when I feel like the only person in the world stuggling with my anxiety. Thank you for being you and sharing your life with all of us. Asshole like “Chris” don’t deserve Internet, obviously.

    Also, my thoughts are with you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss.

  180. Jenny, you are yourself. Don’t believe anyone who tells you that is anything less than awesome.

    I am very sorry for your loss. Much love to you and your family.

  183. Hey Jenny, I tweeted at you, but I’d also like to comment. (Yes, it’s me, the witchy one.) People like this alleged “Chris” type individual confuse me. Why would someone with a giving heart and soul (someone like, say, YOU! or the rest of us) come here and write that kind of comment? I don’t get it, and I don’t want to.

    Blergh. Bite me, Chris,
    and fuck off. Jenny’s too good for someone as mean as you.

  184. I think Chris is probably just a bad dream; WHY CAN’T WE ALL WAKE UP!

    Maybe if we all try hard to dream-within-this-dream, Chris will fall victim to an untimely rabid cat attack and we can take pictures and write hilarious captions underneath them. To honour his memory. And he can haunt us from the beyond by writing dumbass comments about his perceptions of the quality of a site he CHOOSES TO FREAKING VISIT.

    Way to be annoying even when pretend-mauled, Chris.

  185. The other day I was thinking about travel to Texas (can’t, for the life of me, remember why) and as I always end up travelling on my own was thinking about who I knew there. I thought ‘oh, it’s okay, I can catch up with Jenny’. Then I remembered I don’t actually know you in real life.

    You’re my friend, even if you don’t know it, and that’s because I get to read about the small stuff, as well as the Beyonces of this world. So, don’t change. Carry on being the poster of cats and Victor and everything else in between.

    Hugs to you and your family. Be as drunk and angry as you need to about your friend’s suicide. I don’t know if this helps, but sometimes guys (and it is almost always guys) decide suddenly and almost for no reason that killing themselves is the way forward. There seems to be no reason for it at all, or at least no reason that makes any kind of rational sense. If they get found and stopped in time then even they can’t explain what they were thinking. I have a friend who almost succeeded and he can’t explain why he tried at all.

    Is that a comfort or not? Not sure. I found it easier to understand why certain people have killed themselves, even if it still hurts like mofo, once I realized it was like one of my anxiety attacks coming on. I don’t get them for obvious reasons and they can come on anywhere. Not sure that helps you not shout at your friend or at the world because it hurts, but I hope so.

  186. Brava Jenny. Don’t delete it, though you shouldn’t have to defend your blog to anyone. What Chris wrote is mystifying to me–I, and obviously the majority of your loyal readers, adore pretty much everything you do and deeply appreciate the honor of being allowed to see the world according to Jenny (and Victor). You lift us up, even when you’re down, and now, when you need nothing but love and understanding, I’m flabbergasted to see anyone go out of his/her way to give you the opposite. But really, regardless of your present personal tragedy, what Chris wrote is unacceptable and mean at any time. I find nothing constuctive there, only selfish petulance.

    Sending only deepest sympathy and sincerest love to you, dear Jenny. I hope you take all the time you need to find some way to absorb this terrible terrible blow. So so sad.

  187. Just because you are now a “public figure” does NOT mean that the public owns you, nor does it mean you owe the public anything. You just be you. That’s what got you to where you are, and that you-ness is what your fans identify with. You have given me so much hope, and so much laughter (which, btw, is a really weird word now that I think about it…but I digress) in some of my darkest hours. Times when I have felt so alone, so empty & detached, and then *poof* – there’s a tweet or a new blog post from you, and despite the heaviness sitting on my chest, I laugh. That chuckle that you’ve given me at those moments has pulled me back into myself & away from the edge of my own abyss. I LOVE your conversations with Victor – they give me hope that someday I will find a person who really gets me. I love your cat pictures – they make me laugh. And sometimes that laugh is the only smile I find in my day. Please – don’t ever stop being you. Don’t ever use the “public” as a filter for your posts. Be you. We love you for you. We thank you for you.

    Thank you. Thank you, a zillion times over. Thank you.

  189. Chris-
    Thank you for reminding all of us why we come here. What you obviously don’t understand is that we come here because Jenny makes us laugh when we can’t find humor in our own lives. She reminds us that we aren’t alone. She always seems to put into words what I’m feeling even if it is scarey. You don’t belong here. Please leave. We are all hurting from recent events and when she is sad we lift her up and not bring her down. Just like she does for all of us.

    Jenny- you are loved and this guy isn’t one of us. Hang in there. Depression lies and so does Chris.

  190. I had a dream within a dream last night too. I don’t have that a lot, and its usually a sign of a BIG storm coming. I didn’t know other people had this too, everyone seemed so impressed by the cleverness of the idea in Inception. When this happens to me, I become lucid and understand I’m dreaming, I can count how many levels down I am, and battle with all my force to wake up, the hard part if carrying the lucidity up one level and remembering to wake up from that dream too. It is not good if I physically wake up from too low a level, really very not good. The dreams are always hyper realistic and terrifying. You dream is showing how disturbed you are, but given the circumstances you’d be crazy not to be disturbed. Jenny I am not depressed so haven’t had the chance to say this yet, but I feel less alone reading this. That is a strange mix of sad and awesome.

  191. Just what we need this week LESS mental stability and more demand for entertainment filler… perhaps Chris would like to comment next on the sudden loss of focus from teachers in Newtown?

  192. It’s really easy for someone to leave an anonymous comment judging another person for what they perceive as shortcomings and failures. (Yes, it says posted by Chris. But it might as well say nothing at all.) It’s easy to hide behinds words on a screen and make outlandish demands of people that you don’t know. But it’s quite difficult to open yourself up to the world, constantly, exposing all the parts of yourself that keep you going and bring you down. When you let the rest of us in, it takes courage. Even when it’s just a silly conversation with your husband, or a picture of your cat. These are all parts of the whole Bloggess. It’s not for anyone to expect you to jump through hoops and entertain us with “REAL WRITING”. Thank you for sharing your world with all of us, little bits and big bits. So much love to you and your family during this difficult time. <3

    Also, I expect a 500 word essay examining your last conversation with your husband about taking pictures of cats. Compare and contrast your opinion on pictures of cats with your husband's opinion on pictures of cats. And then write a haiku. About cats taking pictures. I give up, I was not meant to be an english teacher.

  194. Wow Chris, what crawled up your ass, died, and caused you to come out with that foul smelling stench of a comment? Clearly you’re just trolling, because quite frankly Jenny’s posts have always been this way. Plus, last I looked, putting together any form of sentences to form any kind of story or message is considered “writing” therefore making the person who composed it a “writer”. Did I also mention that Jenny’s has a NY Times best selling book? And another in the pipeline? But that’s ok cause she’s not a “writer” you moron. What exactly were you expecting? Shakespeare?
    (Jenny, awesome idea, next blog post in Shakespearean English? Then maybe you and Victor could dress up in Elizabethan clothing and act it out for us? Hamlet von Schtnizel could direct?)

    Jenny, I think you’re awesome. Your blog is awesome, your book is awesome, and well, just awesome. (Awesome)

    Finally? Awesome.

    Oh and a ps bit, I’m really sorry about your loved one. Big hugs xxx

  195. Dear Bloggess,
    1. Don’t delete it, f’reals.
    2. Conversations with Victor rock hardcore, and cracks my $#!% up!
    3. Hunter S. Thomcat also cracks my $#!% up, also Juanita.
    4. People be dumb. Someday he’ll learn. Meanwhile, the rest of us love you.

  196. Maybe cat pics and hubby conversations are triggering for Chris. Maybe Chris was raised by cats that didn’t like him/her very much and used to taunt him/her, circling round and round and round and round mewing “You’ll never have a husband, nyah, nyah, nyah.” (We’ve all met cats like this, thankfully few of us have been raised by these cats.)

    Or maybe Chris is an asshat.

  197. Don’t delete your response, Jenny. It’s totally reasonable and fair and a lot more restrained than I’d have been, were I attacked when I was grieving (and drunk)

    I’m so very sorry for your loss, and for your friend who lost his battles with the world.
    Love and hugs.

  198. Oy. What a harsh and terrible week. My hope is that the Mayans were right and next week really is the end of it all. No no, not THE END, but rather a new beginning. That somehow some way, next week will be the end of the violence, despair and hopelessness of so many. That next week, maybe things could start moving toward caring, love and hope. We all need to grab and hold on and do our part. Reach out. Have strength. Love. I wish that for all of you. Chris too – who’s just maybe a dog person having a hard day.
    My elf on the shelf is clearly unamused:
    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/A-LT8rdCAAAPbOL.jpg

    (and if that link doesn’t work because I’m having real issues with Internet savvyness tonight then just imagine a dude looking unamused in his long red underwear because they are clearly made of itchy wool. Same thing)

  199. What Steve Lee said.

    AND did the Chris person miss the whole family dressed up for reenactment day pictures? Or your haunted doll house? Geesh, this person doesn’t have any taste. OBVIOUSLY.

    The fact that you can have me laughing hysterically from one or two sentences is brilliance embodied. That takes talent.

    Love and light to you and your family.

  200. Jenny, I want to add my deepest sympathies go to you, your family and your friend’s family. There aren’t many words that can help at this time, just know that there is a massive community of people who hold you in our hearts right now.

  201. First my heart cries with yours. The pain of loosing someone is so hard to carry. After this week here in Portland and at Sandy Hook, you have this to deal with too. So forget dickhead Chris. We read your blog for a reason.
    You are a writer that we love and we thank you for making us laugh. Keep doing what you do best.
    Hold on to the blanket of love we are wrapping you in, snuggle down and feel safe. Let the pain go for a little bit.
    Try to rest. Tomorrow share the blanket with you baby girl. Just remember we are here for you like you are here for us.

  202. Hugs to you and your family for your tragic loss of a dear friend! We love you just as you are!

  203. Jenny,
    Take a page from Ricky Gervais with comments like “Chris”. Throw out a smart retort to their obnoxious comment then tell them to go elsewhere. Your website isn’t required reading to works like them. Plus your life like everyone else’s is not always a garden of roses, sometimes it’s manure. While I have seen what an able gardener you are in that you see the roses in the cap of everyday life and point them out to us your readers.
    Hugs and condolences for you and your family and friends.
    John

  204. People in glass houses should not throw stones…they should also buy some Windex & clean the place up so they can see clearly out of those walls.
    Judge, lest not ye be judged…or something to that effect….but I also personally feel like the person who sits in judgement of others should also have to sit in a pool of warm tapioca pudding for 48 hours+ depending on the severity of the judgement they passed. Since these judges have either forgotten or have been so privileged in life to to have never experienced being the object of scrutiny, let me explain…When peoples actions or statements make their way in to your personal space, even though you know you should just wipe it off & go on, no matter how many times you shower & change clothes the uncomfortable sliminess of the cruel words just sticks to you like warm tapioca…
    Mrs. Jenny, my hubs is snoring on the couch with his cat perched on his mid 30’s man belly…I intend to leave him there…he fell asleep there while we were having pizza & a movie (borrowed from his mom) cheap date night in. Before the snoring, date night was interrupted by the mood challenged teenager bringing home a stray teenager. Subsequently the kid’s cat is acting weird bc there is another person in HIS kid’s room. I am sure to the blog police ^ up there, this random blurb was a waste of the precious limited quantity of internet that we should be rationing for 12/21 or whatever those people are going on about…BUT this is my life, a real life, sometimes I wish I made it up, sometimes I fall asleep to youtube & hope that vid will bring dreams that are silly & strange so i can escape for a few minutes.
    And my point here is A LOT OF US LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR ANECDOTES BECAUSE WE CONNECT WITH THEM OR BECAUSE THEY MAKE US THINK. WE COULD CARE LESS ABOUT HARD HITTING ISSUES…THERE ARE INVESTIGATIVE NEWS ANCHORS FOR THAT. WE ARE HAPPY TO SHARE THE PLANET & THE INTERNET WITH LOVELY SOULS LIKE YOU.
    I know I can’t get rid of the tapioca, I can’t say anything that makes the loss of your friend or the convo with your daughter any easier…but what I can say is that a bunch of us truly care!
    I hope you do find dream sleep tonight & that the kitten does not interrupt it…maybe it’s just my cats that do that.
    ~d

  205. 1. Much sympathies for you and your family, Jenny. You have every right to hurt and feel strong emotions. You’re well-loved by a lot of people.

    2. Your cat pics, conversations with Victor and pithy blog posts always crack me up. Just because they’re concise doesn’t mean they aren’t funny, original or *you*.

    3. F*ck “high literature” and hipster-esque people who only think a piece of writing is good if it is the equivalent of Plath.

  206. Even if you weren’t having an absolutely devastating week (which you clearly are, and I’m so very sorry), that comment would be bothersome. It’s the kind of (mean, off-base) comment that can make a person doubt themselves and what they love to do, which is in itself pretty awful.

    Luckily for you, you have us (your adoring fans), and we have spoken. Chris is a stupid-head and obviously has no idea what he/she’s talking about. We love your posts, the great and the small, we love your Victor talks, we love your pill-popping cat. Most of all, we just love you. Maybe you can take that love and wrap yourself up in it like a blanket, maybe squish Hailey and Victor (and even the kitties too) in there with you and let it carry you through the horribleness you’re stuck in now. That sounds pretty cozy to me, might be worth a try.

    Hang in there, Jenny. We’ve got you.

  207. Chris is a tool. And not even an interesting or useful tool, like a machete. Chris is that half-broken can opener in the back of the kitchen drawer that everybody hates.

    I lost a friend to medical malpractice this week. Not the same as your loss, but a tragedy all the same and my life is forever altered. I wish you the best in talking to Hailey about what has happened. My sincere love and prayers to you and your family. I am so sorry.

  208. I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine the difficulty of explaining that to your child. My favorite uncle attempted suicide multiple times and thankfully never succeeded. But the attempts haunt my childhood. Ultra interwebs hugs for you and your family. As for the comment above, I think you are amazing and your posts always make me laugh or cry even the pics of Hunter. Don’t change. Just ignore douchebags. Life is too short not to have silly conversations and hundreds of cat pics. Some people will always make douchey comments cause they are a douche. In the words of Wil Wheaton: Don’t be a dick @Chris.

  209. Chris is trollin with a big ole Insensitive Club & clearly lives under the rickety Oblivious Bridge. Seriously, I don’t like shredded coconut, the texture is icky to me, but I don’t go writing hate mail to manufacturers about how they are fucking up a tropical wonder… I just don’t fucking eat shredded coconut.

    The amazing Jenny Lawson… her blog makes me laugh til I can’t breathe & her generosity, strength & openness touches my heart, her book is my bookclub pick for this coming year (we pick every December… IT HAS BEEN SO HARD TO WAIT), her twitter feed is one of the few I set to phone alerts, because she never lets me down. And never could. She shares these pieces of herself and her life with us and more often than not they are hilarious, but more importantly, they are relatable – we get her. And that is why we love her.

    My only hope is to add my love to the collective digital hugs and support during this difficult time.

  210. Sorry to hear of the difficult loss you are dealing with. Sorrier still that you have to deal with asinine comments from someone who apparently does not follow you as closely as the rest of us. If they did they would know that you write your life; your wacky, slightly off-kilter view of it anyway. And that’s why we love you like we do. You’re one of us. Frankly, I’d worry if you weren’t posting HST pics and Victor discussions!

  211. Jenny, you are a staple in our and many other households whom I send links to your posts (and tweets!). You make us laugh, you make us think. You make us see things in a way that most of time it would never occur to us to do. I am so sorry for the loss of your dear friend. My husband suffers from severe depression, and I know you are a contributing factor in helping him to avoid that path. The words “Depression Lies” aren’t just words, they can be life savers. Thank you.

  212. Chris can suck it. I love your writing, be it in short bursts or long, rambling stories, or goofy cat pictures. Your faithful readers know that for every Beyoncé “knock knock mother fucker” tale, there are struggles you face daily. It’s what makes you real, and relatable, and beautiful.

    Your friend’s passing is tragic, and I hope you have the strength and support to get through it. This has been a difficult few days, and everyone’s emotions are raw. Maybe Chris will learn from this, and realize it’s not okay to hit someone when she’s down (or ever, really).

    Much love from the Twin Cities. Praying you find words of comfort for Hailey, which are more important than any blog post.

  213. Oh Jenny, I wish I could come and hug you, but South Africa is a little far away, so I’m sending you virtual hugs instead. I’m really sorry for your loss. I’m also sorry that there are people like Chris who think that it’s okay to be a dick for no good reason.
    Don’t delete the comment. We love the conversations with Victor, as well as the animal photo’s (whether the animals are alive or ethically taxidermied)!
    I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers (I’m pretty sure you’re not the anti-Christ).
    Remember we love you and we are here for you ?

  214. Awwwww Jenny, what an abundance of love your extended family have for you. It’s given me goosebumps, all the fabulous things people have said about you. How amazing is it to know how many lives you have touched, cheered up, supported and in some cases, saved, no-one can take that away from you.

  215. RE: Comment 147 – Dear Lord, why would anyone offer an unsolicited critique of someone else’s blog? I like all and anything you have to say because it is your blog– do with it what you will. As if the world needs more conflict. What a supercilious twit!

  216. Jenny,
    Please keep doing what you’re doing. I love every post. Particularly the ones with cats <3

  218. Thanks! I’d been looking for a reason to blow off work this week and take an extra long vaca, now I can do it!

    🙂

  219. Hemingway would’ve totally love internet cat pictures. And Plath might’ve been less inclined to suicide if she had your blog to read that others go through depression and think weird, funny thoughts.

  220. Jenny,
    First, I am very sorry for your loss. The sudden death of a loved one is always difficult and even more so when it is at their own hand.
    Second, your blog is the first blog I turn to when I am entrenched in my own anxiety and sadness and I need a laugh. The conversations between you and Victor and your Hunter S. Tomcat pictures never fail to put a smile on my face! You’re relatable and hilarious.
    Third, Chris is total and utter douche canoe. If he is unable to appreciate all your blog has to offer, he should just stop reading!
    Keep on doing what you do!

  221. Obviously I can only speak for myself but I come here to see what you have to say. It could be something about a TV show or scavenging birds or costume dress up with the family or a new critter addition to the collection or a heartbreaking piece about something personal.

    I’m not a blog critic or creative writing guru. I’m a fan of The Bloggess and that means I appreciate pretty much everything you do (without being a scary stalker type, although I guess sometimes that line gets blurry…)

    Senor Commentor is obviously not a fan. Don’t know why he’s here, or why he bothered to comment at all. Perhaps he wanted to see what kind of reaction he’d get. I hate the jerks who do that.

  222. I am so sorry for your loss and for the tragedy your family and friends are enduring. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

    Chris is, evidently, unfamiliar with the concept of blogs. And the internet. And human decency. And basic manners. Don’t be too hard on her/him, guys. She/he was obviously raised by weasels with limited contact with human beings and technology, and doesn’t know how to handle either appropriately.

    Your posts about Victor remind me that there is no such thing as a “normal” household and most people’s families are as nutty as mine. 🙂 Please don’t stop writing about them!

  223. I get that there is freedom of speech but when did that right (created for very different reasons btw) give people carte blanch to say whatever they want, whenever they want. This isn’t the only thing to read in the world(not that I would mind) and it isn’t the only thing to read on the Internet (if it were, it would be a much funnier and cuter place)—if you don’t like something walk away. No one is forcing you to stay Chris. Leave. We thankfully have many freedoms living in the US, one of them is not being an asshole. (Yet-I am sure politicians would love to add that!). If you don’t “connect” with Jenny’s blog-leave and don’t come back. Sharing your negative thoughts was not necessary or even helpful. Unless you are an attention whore and wanted to be mentioned in one of Jenny’s posts. Asshole.

  224. I hope you never change your writing style…. I love everything I’ve read from you. I think it’s amazing to have someone as funny as you to relate with.

    When I’m in a dark moment, your book and blog bring me back to the light.

    Thank you for being you.

  225. Chris – if that is your real name – you are a pompous jerk. Leave our Jenny alone.
    Jenny – if that is YOUR real name 😉 – Please do not pay any mind to that pompous jerk. Billy Joel said it best: We love you just the way you are.

  226. I haven’t commented in a long time, but I have to jump in now to add my love and support to the others. We all love you Jenny, for exactly what you are! I’m so sorry for your loss. You bring a smile to my face almost every day, and thousands of others, so remember that. FURIOUSLY HAPPY. xo

  227. Awwww, Jenny. I’m so sorry. Don’t let one asshole troll knock you (further) down.
    Chris, how dare you? You’re all that’s wrong with the internet.

  228. I am a long time reader but rarely comment. I do have to ask a question for Chris though. Why the hell do you call her blog a column? If you want columns read a fucking newspaper. Also, please don’t speak for the rest of us. I come here because I like Jenny and everything she posts. Not just for “the writer” as you put it. I am probably just repeating many other commenters, but those are my feelings.

  229. Last night I attended a Christmas concert by our local philharmonic. The guest singer, before singing a beautiful song, stated how too many people put their profession ahead of their heart. And that we should always lead with our heart. Jenny, your posts about your true life are your heart and that leads to your profession. If we didn’t read about short Victor conversations, see ‘retro’ pictures of your family and hilarious pictures of your cats, we wouldn’t get your heart.
    So thank you for letting your heart guide your profession. We’re all blessed because of that.
    My sincere condolences on the loss of your friend. You’ll find your words to explain to Hailey…love will lead them. Take care of yourself during this so sad time.
    And remember to breathe. And pee…that’s important….

  230. First-time commenter. Brought out of the woodwork by the cruelty and insensitivity of Chris. I don’t have the perfect words to say or some sort of wonderfully satisfying nasty comment to throw at the asshole, but I do want to tell you that we love you, we care about you, we are so sorry for your loss, and one of the best things my therapist ever told me was this: Taking things one day at a time is crap. You need to break it down even further, even if that means you’re taking it one second at a time. Even if each second is a conscious effort to breathe in and then breathe out. Slowly, the seconds lengthen into minutes, the minutes into hours, the hours into days. One second at a time. That’s all any of us can do.
    Sending you love.

  231. Here’s the thing about Chris. He/She has probably never taken a trip to Griefland. I’ve been there a few times and now, when I go back there, I recognize it. It’s like, Oh yeah, I remember this place.. Unfortunately, your visiting with your daughter sooner than you would like. But the thing is, it’s just a visit. It might be 3 weeks or 3 months. Hopefully, not three years. Two months after my father died, I was packing my bags, almost ready to leave Griefland. Then, September 11 happened. I had to unpack and stay a little longer. A trip there is always bittersweet. Traveling mercies to you.

    P. S. Chris’ comments are just sad. Like an unfortunate tourist stop along the way.

  233. Why is it that one douchecanoe in a sea of really awesome folks who appreciate you for YOU spoils the whole regatta? Is it regatta? I don’t do small watercraft, so I have no idea. Fleet? Armada? Armada…I like armada. Armada of fankayaks. Yes. Don’t let the douchecanoes spoil the armada of fankayaks! Or…um…something like that. *HUGS*

  234. Oh, girlie, you’re doing just FINE. So, so sorry for your loss.

    Chris — bless. For the record, writers are not vending machines. Jenny doesn’t owe you a damn thing. The internet is ginormous. If you’re not happy with what you’re getting here, then move on.

  235. Had to comment again. That was a great response to Chris, don’t delete it. You are funny and wonderful, or thought provoking and wonderful, or poignant and wonderful, or heartbreaking and wonderful in every post you write. And although Chris may not have come off as a troll. Chris is a troll.
    I can’t even imagine what you are going through right now, so am sending you stranger love and hugs (which may or may not be related to stranger danger 😀 ). Hang in there. You are stronger than you know.

  236. Jenny – Ignore the one naysayer. You only have to look at the other 197+ responses to this post (+ the zillon other responses to your other posts) and all your Twitter followers to know that we all love you and your blog for exactly what it is. We love the taxidermied animals, big metal chickens, Hunter S. Thomcat, red dresses, the conversations with Victor, battles with depression and anxiety, and most importantly, the booze slushies. Most of us anxiously await the next “episode” (i.e., blog post & photos) in your amazing life that you share with us. Thank you for being you and sharing with us! ?

  237. I have never laughed out loud from reading a book as much as yours. You do an amazing job in what you do and keep me laughing. I may not be a writer, but if something amuses and entertains me, then it is good in my eyes. Keep up the good work of you being you!

  238. Dear Jenny,
    My deepest condolences on your loss. Losing anyone is hard. Losing someone to suicide is worse.
    This blog is like your living room. Thank you fo letting us come over and hang out with you. We really don’t have the right to come in and ask you to redecorate. Your furniture is fine where it is. Putting on the gorilla suit and dancing for our pleasure is really not necessary. I’m sorry that someone didn’t really realize that fact and posted a boneheaded comment. As for me, I’ll be in the armchair in the corner whenever you want to stop by and say hi.

  239. Dear Chris,
    During this holiday season, I wish you the same gift you just gave Jenny: some miserable, obnoxious, misguidedly entitled treatment while you’re mourning an incomprehensible loss.
    A writer is not an On-Demand channel. Go hit the remote, asshole.
    Merry happy.

  240. Leave your response where it is, I dont’ think it’s inappropriate at all! You were much nicer than I would be, that’s for sure.
    I’m so very sorry for your loss. Between the school shooting, your loss, a coworker’s father committing suicide….I just don’t even understand what the hell is going on with this world right now. I really don’t.

  241. Your writing is funny, irreverent, topical, uplifting, silly, and a BLESSING. All.of.it. (I personally enjoy the Victor-arguments and cat photos because I have my own Victor and a cat.) And this Chris person needs to just leave NOW. And thank his lucky chickens we can’t get at him/her.

  242. Leave the response Jenny! Chris needs to see it – jerk!

    The rest of us love you. I presonally love the Victor conversations! And your cat pictures! (Even though I’m not a huge cat picture person in general.)

    Chris should have a bit more compassion – and as you mentioned, just leave if unhappy. That would just leave more room for the rest of us who love you!!

  243. Jenny,
    So sorry to hear about your loss. The Sandy Hook school shooting has left me reeling; I can’t imagine dealing with a personal loss on top of it. Then, to have some tool named Chris dump on you because he or she felt the need to strike out at someone is awful. The people that make horrible comments on the Internet because it is easy and they don’t really have to bear the responsibility for or the brunt of what they have said are sad, angry people who think their meanness is cool. It really isn’t cool; you were right the first time: Chris IS an asshole.
    Please know that I, like all of your fans, love and treasure you.
    I come to your website to read whatever you post, because you entertain me, you inspire me, you make me laugh, and you make me cry. I read you to remember that being human isn’t really a bad thing; sometimes I need to be reminded of that. Thank you, once again, for doing what you do and sharing your life with us. We do love you, you know!

  244. Jenny,

    A ways back I randomly came across the story about the giant rooster. It seems like ages ago. When I read it, I nearly peed myself. I was laughing so hard I was literally crying. I thought it was the most amazing, truly hilarious piece of writing I had ever read. I must have read that conversation to a dozen people. It would take me forever to read it because I would be in such fits of laughter. My boyfriend thought I was on something. Every time I read it, I wanted to know the person who wrote it. I wanted to be her best friend and go chicken shopping together. I didn’t rediscover your work till recently and I am filled with joy I did. Ignore the trolls and keep on writing as you do. You have a fan for life.
    Sincerely,
    Sheila

  245. Jenny,
    You are fantastic. Chris clearly doesn’t get it. Keep writing just the way you write! Please!

  246. Jenny,
    We live you for who you are. Don’t let this jerk get to you. Be with your family, hold your daughter tight, cry together, love each other, and most of all help each other heal the pain. We will be here. Let US know now y’all are doing periodically so we don’t worry. Also, please let us know of a charity your friend supported so we can donate in his name. Or if the family need help with expenses in the aftermath of this tell us where to send it. We love you and your pain hurts our hearts. We are here for you.

    Much love,
    Nicole

  247. Yeah, my favorite kind of people are the kind of people who complain about content they access for free on the internet.

    If you don’t like a blog, don’t read the blog. What a tool.

  248. OK. I need something clarified. Is douche canoe one or two words? I mean, I don’t want to embarrass myself in my next paper in finance class.

  249. I love you people. And now, sober and about to have a terrible conversation with my daughter, I can’t help but think that maybe Chris is in pain over something else and just lashed out at something he could. That’s okay. Chris, you are still welcome here if you want to be here but no hard feelings if this blog isn’t for you. Even some of my family members prefer to skip it. It’s not for everyone.

    Thank you to everyone for all your support during this time. You give me a stability I need.

  250. Wow…really?

    Geez, Chris… writers are people. We write about what we think about, we write about what we know about we dream about, what inspires us, what makes us think, what makes us laugh, what might make others laugh and what might help others through tough times. In short, we write what comes to mind. What makes us writers is the ability to put things into words in a way that compels others to keep reading.

    I do it via fiction. Jenny does it via her blog and other outlets. You might think you have a right to tell her how to write, but unless you’re in her head, inspiring her…you’re not what guides her writing. We write what comes to us and we don’t always have the ‘control’ over that some people might think.

  251. Jenny, as I said on Twitter (GeorgiaWeasley), your blog has saved lives. You let us know there is hope beyond depression, anxiety doesn’t have to define who we are, and suicide isn’t an option. You’ve made me laugh when I felt I may never smile again. You make those of us who suffer with depression and anxiety feel that we aren’t alone. You share your story, and we survive together. Chris can bite me. We love you, girl.

  252. Nothing I say hasn’t been said before by many others who have posted here, but I’m hoping to lend my voice to the chorus of support for you. I’m so sorry for your loss, Jenny. It’s tough enough to deal with grief without having other people bringing negativity that doesn’t belong nor is it deserved. Keep on keeping on Bloggess! All of your fans are here to lend our support to an amazingly awesome-sauce person!

  253. Please don’t delete it Jenny.
    The Chris’ of the world have to realize that just because they pay $20 a month for internet access, this does not give them the right to say what they want every minute that they think it without repercussions.
    I got out of reading Comments everywhere – here, news pages, gossip blogs – for this reason. I can’t stand the ‘armchair’ quarterbacks who know everything, and think that we (as the public) seem to be desperate for their wisdom.
    Chris has the right to feel the way he/she feels, but does that trump your right as a human being? Why does Chris think that we need to know this? Does Chris somehow think that his/her opinion is so awe-inspiring that we (your readers) will stop what we are doing, bow to the epiphany and proclaim a new god?
    I want to call Chris out, tell him/her that they had the balls to call someone down, now have the balls to publish their email address for a response. But we all know that wouldn’t happen. Chris likes the safety that comes with anonymity of the internet. Y’know, like a coward.
    Plus, that would be inviting us to come down to Chris’ level.
    Stay above it. You said your piece – it’s YOUR blog – you have the right. As your readers, I think I speak for 99.99% of us when I say we support you, we stand by you, and we love you.

    And, while you are staying strong for your family – please remember to stay strong for YOU. And let others be YOUR strength when you need it. Suicide is a horrible evil gut-wrenching thing to go through. You need your family as much as they need you right now.

    Peace and hugs.

  254. In a world filled with unimaginable tragedy, there is still SO MUCH love. Including the vast amount I am sending your way.

  255. Dear ‘wow’,

    Yes this is a cult….we do not drink the koolaid. We buy big metal chickens, strange taxidermy and put wigs on cats. There will be no mass suicide because we are busy trying to keep each other alive. When you mess with Jenny you mess with the whole giant cult following…and we are a crazy bunch.

    ummm…that sounded less stalker-ish in my head.

  256. So, I can’t think of anything to say that:

    A) Hasn’t already been said …
    or
    2) Is uplifting/productive

    So instead I’m linking a video of me singing Xmas songs as a Zombie. ENJOY! 🙂

    PS You’re amazing and we all appreciate not only your journey that we chose to join you on, but we appreciate your insane humor that 99% of your fans GET.

    PPS ^That was KINDA uplifting. What do I win!? lol

  257. I also have those annoying dreams-within-dreams-within-dreams! It gets pretty scary when I try to wake up and can’t. :/

  258. Jenny, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I can’t imagine what you are going through. Just know that you have tons of support if you need it.

    I think you’re amazing. Your posts just make my day, even if they’re *just* conversations with your husband or your cat. They always put a smile on my face. Don’t ever change who you are. <3

  259. You are so awesome. Seriously. I agree with every supportive comment previous to mine (and every one that comes after mine). You have such an original voice and your blog never fails to put a smile on my face. Hugs during this terribly difficult time.

    P.S. I <3 Hunter S. Thomcat

  260. I don’t or barely remember my dreams. I think there’s something wrong with my brain. Once I had one and I desperately wished it were true. Maybe that turned me off of remembering my dreams.

    As for Chris, yes he’s in pain. But he doesn’t know it. It’s very sad to see.

  261. I share the same loss with Jenny, even though we’ve never met, our daughters shared this man as one of their favorite people. My daughter was hugging “Mr. Dan” goodbye a couple of hours before the tragedy took place. He and I were discussing the terrible tragedy of the Conn shooting, and then lightening the mood by discussing all the wonderful surprises the kids had coming next week at the Christmas party. I had to find out about my daughter’s favorite, non-family member adult, early yesterday morning as we set out to enjoy Christmas festivities, which of course changed the whole day. I had to explain to my daughter why mommy was sobbing, and answer her when she said, “He’s okay, he’s at school, Mommy”. I share Jenny’s grief through this connection we have, and even though I don’t “know” her, I am APPALLED and DISGUSTED that someone could be so selfish and say such hateful things…our daughter’s “Mr. Dan” died….we have to explain (or try to) why we won’t see him again. I have to explain to my baby girl every day next week when I take her to school, why he’s not at the door, “cheerfully” saying “Well good morning angel, you’re beautiful as ever today!” anymore. She was told he “was with the angels now” but the first thing she said this morning to me was, “can we go to the angels, mommy? I miss Mr. Dan”. Fuck you Chris. And Fuck Suicide. And Fuck Depression. And Fuck Chronic Pain.

  262. Hugs and prayers during this painful time. This Christmas, my family’s charitable donation will go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org in honor of your friend.

  263. I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. *hug* It’s not easy in general to deal with death, but when suicide strike so close, it’s doubly hard. It strips away the veil of bullshit we tell ourselves to get through the rest of the time. I wish you peace, and time to grieve, and when the time comes round again, I wish you the joy of memory and forgiveness.

    You’re a wonderful writer, and an amazing person. Anyone who says otherwise can eat shit.

  264. How dare you not provide free entertainment in the exact manner I demand!! Fuck off, Chris.

    Hugs to you and your family, Jenny. I’m sorry this happened. And especially sorry at this time of year.

  265. @Chris – I used to have a blog. I wrote long, introspective or long, funny posts. I was quite prolific for a while. But, then, something happened. I would post some short, funny conversation or scene. And then I would I would get comments asking where my “real” writing went, or when was I going to post something longer, funnier, pithier. And, instead of it inspiring me to write more, longer posts, I went the other direction. I have a two-year-old daughter and not as much time to sit down and compose long, funny stories anymore. But, after a number of comments like yours, I found myself thinking what I wanted to write and had time to write wasn’t good enough….and then I gradually stopped blogging because, well, it felt like whatever stories I had to tell weren’t good enough to be long enough to say anything that was what people wanted to read.

    Jenny’s short bits, pictures, and captions are amazing and brighten my days. What she writes is good enough.

    I suggest you look inward and try to figure out why you think Jenny is here to entertain you in the way you want to be entertained. Why do you think she owes you any kind of entertainment at all? You aren’t entitled to view Jenny’s life and perspective. She allows it because she is kind and generous. And I will take that kindness and generosity and humor in whatever size I can get.

    In other words, Chris, stop thinking the world revolves around you.

  266. When I met you at a book signing in NYC, I thanked you for the funny stuff, but thanked you for the serious stuff too. I meant it then and I mean it now. Forget the hateful Chrises of the world and just be Jenny. That is the person your followers love.

    I am very sorry for the loss of your friend and my heart breaks for your little one.

  268. Please don’t delete your response. It was poignant, well written, concise, apropos and, importantly; The Bloggess. Truthful.

    Chris is a dick. (Sorry but, he/she/it pissed me off and that brings out my inner potty mouth)

  269. I have several things to say here, but I will keep it short.
    1) My first thought after reading that post from Chris was “Now don’t I feel like an ass for wanting more conversations with Victor and pictures of Hunter S Thomcat.” But then I thought that doesn’t make me an ass, that makes me a supportive fan.
    2) I am bipolar, and when I have a down swing, as I like to call it, I love looking back at your posts and remembering that I am NOT alone.
    3) The last 5 times that my feels have exploded in my chest and would have left me in bed for days, you have posted a snippet of a conversation between you and Victor. They always make me smile a forget that I was having a feel at all.
    4) Lastly, I love you Jenny. I wish I could be there for you to have a shoulder to cry on in this extremely tough time, but I know that Victor is there to support you in the ways that we, your fans and internet friends, wish we could be.

    So much for keeping this short… Oh well, I hope I got my point across.
    Jenn

  270. So sorry for your loss, Jenny. That truly sucks.

    In the wake of the latest mass violence tragedy, many people talk about what a horrid world we live in. But modern times, however hard, do have their benefits. For example, mental health treatment.

    When I was five, one of my cousins listened to the voices only she could hear and put a gun to her head. Back then, they did not understand that schizophrenia was a brain disorder. There were no medications, no real treatment. She had no way to get help.

    We still have a ways to go with mental health care of course, but we are light years ahead of where we were back then. Treatments are available that literally save lives. As someone who needs medication to function, I am grateful for that.

    My best to you and your family, Jenny. I’ll be sending positive thoughts your way. And in the meantime, have some cuteness from one of my favorite sites: http://cuteoverload.com/

  272. I LOVE the conversations with Victor. I read them aloud to my husband and we’re always both laughing.

    The variety of types of posts is part of what makes this blog even more fun. Keep it up.

    And take care of yourself. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. Your ability to post while going through emotional hurt is amazing. I’m guessing it helps to write and laugh and cry all at once, but regardless, it’s impressive and we all love you for it.

  273. Chris,
    It’s good to know there are perfect and profound people such as yourself in our society. Jeez. If you don’t like her, then don’t follow her. We all will continue to follow her because unlike you, we see the amazing humor she injects into even the darkest of things. Keep on writing, blogging and tweeting, Jenny. We’ll all be here to eat it up.

  274. Jenny, I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend Dan. On top of Sandy Hook it must feel devastating and overwhelming.

    Please know that many of us are so appreciative of your writing. Also, I can’t tell you how much I love the cat pictures. During superstorm Sandy, the halloween pictures of the kitties (especially HST) cheered me up so much.

    Hugs to you during this difficult time.

  275. You make me laugh. We all know the world needs more of that. And for the record all your cats rock.

  276. Sometimes I want Hemmingway. Hawthorne, Murakami. Sometimes, I’d rather go Sanderson or Rothfuss. Sometimes, I just want ridiculous conversations between people and silly pictures of cats. They are all writing. They may not have the same level of “substance” or “literary value” per say but they are all valued. Reminds me of grad school where everyone would only mention liking Julian May or Robert Jordan when they were drunk enough and in the same tone and volume you might use to admit you were keeping someone tied up in your basement and sometimes slept with dead people.

  277. So sorry for your loss. I know it will take a lot of love and strength to tell Hailey.

    I love your blog and your tweets. As is. No complaints. Conversations with Victor are my favorite, with a close second any stories about Hailey, any of your cats, your taxidermy collection. Actually, anything you post either makes me laugh or makes me think.

    No one can – or should – ask for more.

  278. I love that you’re funny, but I also love that you put a human face on anxiety and depression. You are gut-wrenchingly honest about what it’s like to suffer from both, both of which are something most people just don’t understand. It’s not about “getting over it,” or “just smiling,” or “looking on the bright side.” It’s not something that can be fixed easily; otherwise, we’d all be cured. *No one* wants to go through this, and the fact that you do, and share it with thousands and thousands of people is just so incredibly brave and so incredibly inspiring. If someone can’t see that, then it’s their loss. The rest of us have gained *so* *much*.

  279. The sad thing is that trolls like Chris will never look at the responses to their hurtful words. They say what they feel is right or what they want and then move on to their next victim…er…I mean complaint. He/she are too arrogant and blind to how their words hurt. The best is to just forget the Chris’ that will always occasional feel like they need to have their say. Celebrate the love and humor that has brought the rest of us to this little corner of teh internets- whether it be for posts on pain, sickness and sadness, or giant metal chickens or crazy cats in wigs. We love them all because we love Jenny, the Whole Jenny. I can’t thank you enough, Jenny, for all that you have shared with us. You book has helped me through a very hard year and even though I do not know you personally, I hope that me sending you thoughts of love and strength will help you through this painful time. As String once sang “You’re not alone. You’re never alone. Not here.”….ok, so I think he was singing about St Augustine in Hell, but taken out of context, the words still work here too. <3

  280. Jenny,

    I am so sorry to read about your friend. Your family is in my thoughts. I’ve been reading you since Copernicus and love this blog. Even have the hubby reading it! I’m sure you hear this all the time but your conversations with Victor are so much like ours it’s hilarious. Anyway, hoping Hailey does as well as can be expected. Sending lots of good thoughts!

  281. Dear Jenny,

    You don’t owe any of us anything.

    I think it’s amazing that someone who deals with so much still has so much humor to share.

    Thank you for sharing with us.

  282. I’m sorry that Chris doesn’t get it. I know some of the entries have gotten shorter but also, a blog evolves over time just like we do. We pick up new interests and duties and you have as well. I am so very sorry about your friend and I can’t imagine how difficult it is to have to discuss this with your daughter. However, I do know that she has two parents who love her beyond all get out (sorry, couldn’t think of a better way to put it) and that you two will be there to support her while she goes through this with the both of you.

    On a slightly lighter note, I know you recommended reading Hyperbole and a Half. She has not posted in over a year on her blog, twitter or FB. If you know how to contact her, please reach out to see if she is OK. All of her followers worry about her just like we worry about you when you have tough times.

    Hugs and Unicorns,
    Melissa

  283. Jenny… you are what this world needs more of…. someone who can put a smile our faces, sometimes on our darkest days. Your conversations with Victor are priceless and the cat pictures…. well what can I say… who doesn’t love a funny cat picture.(Chris obviously) I for one, love all your posts and blogs so dont let this asshole put you down.
    Chris… You are entitled to your opinion but for posting it this weekend, you are an asshole. If you dont like Jenny’s blogs, dont read them… simple. You dont pay her to write for you, therefore it is entirely up to her what she chooses to post, it’s her blog not yours. If you can do better, go do it.
    Jenny…. keep your spirits up girl, we are here for you, and give Hailey a big hug from all of us.
    PS. Just to let you know, #94 is doing well

  285. Wow Chris, really? I come here for all of the cat pictures and hilarious conversations/discussions/arguments between Jenny and Victor. She’s obviously just letting *you* down, so go away and be a jerk somewhere else. We love Jenny and her life and all the fun stuff she posts. You obviously don’t have any sense of respect. It is her blog, she can do whatever she wants with it.

  286. I also wanted to leave some support! I happen to love cat pictures, I say more cat photos. I also want to say how sorry I am for the loss of your friend

  288. Dear Chris,

    Read my lips: fuck you.

    Cordially,

    Marieanne
    Unicorn Success Club, ’12

  291. Jenny, I’m sorry for your loss this weekend. That must be truly awful. More so because your daughter is involved. But can I also say, I started reading your blog because I read your book. I wasn’t really sure what to expect, but I guess I was expecting a bit more too. I reacted to your quirkiness when you wrote about your life. I related to your illness because every female in my in-laws, and now my own beautiful daughter, suffer. I’ve seen suicide in my life and it is not pretty. I was hoping for more from here. More, what, I don’t know. But I would also never expect my expectations to be yours. So I want to thank you for remaining true to being you. And I am still a follower, because what you do and write is real.

    (Thank you, Carolyn. Very concise and accurate. And truly, if I wasn’t writing my second book my posts probably would be longer. It comes in spurts and sometimes my book-writing keeps me from blog-writing and vice versa. In fact, today I had to cancel a paid post because I just couldn’t make myself be funny. The blog is truly me. It’s a bit disappointing, but it’s me. 🙂 ~ Jenny)

  292. Honestly I’m just here for the cats. And metal chickens. And odd taxidermy. And if Jenny is having a hard day then so be it, at least she doesn’t try to ruin yours. Learn compassion.

  293. What the hell? Who has the nerve to complain about something that is FREE?

    If someone wants a writer to supply them with fresh content every single day, maybe he should be paying for it?

  294. Oh, and before everyone starts calling me a douche canoe too, because I want to be able to have an opinion, even if it doesn’t mesh with everyone else’s…and I haven’t been here from the beginning…Jenny I truly admire you for bringing out into the open the struggles of mental illness, and taxidermy, and awesome cats who show up in our lives just when we need ’em, and wonderful husbands, and beautiful daughters, and TEXAS. Because really, a true Texan loves no matter what.

  295. Jenny, I want to hug you, even though I suspect hugs from strangers (even ones who think you are a goddess of brilliance and a vision of awesome) aren’t exactly high on your things you’d love to receive list. Your writing is wonderful, your stories are amazing, and I feel like I know you. You feel like a friend to me.
    Anyone whose posts have the power to make me laugh myself completely stupid with some posts, make me pause and think, or damn near weep with others, that’s fucking amazing.
    Just keep doing what you’re doing, because it IS all anyone can do, and you do it damn well. I crave your power.

  297. After my wife got out of an extended stay in the hospital, she read my blog about her time there. “These are all about you,” she said. “That’s right,” I said, “it’s my blog.”
    Well, this is your blog; post whatever you want.
    By the way, I had one of those dreams about 40 years ago, and it’s still the scariest dream I ever had.
    And, not just by the way, so, so sorry for your loss.

  298. Cats and conversations with Victor are meat and milk for us — don’t ever stop!
    If I want in-depth reading, I have books, the NY Times, and even my own writing to try and muddle through. You make me laugh, sometimes you make me cry, and always you are awesome.

  299. I don’t have a twitter account, but I thought I’d share a story that might make you smile a little. When my nephew was little (still in diapers kind of little) my brother went to visit him. He picked him up to give him a big hug. As my brother put him down, my nephew looked at him in disgust and said, “Thanks a lot David, you squished the poop out of me!” So, be careful with your cats. I’m guessing if it can happen with kids, it can happen with cats. Hugs to you and your family (but not too hard).

  300. You guys, we can show Jenny our support without making Chris feel like shit. Let’s not get our cyber bullies on! Chris is an ordinary person, commenting for the first time, and despite the fact that it was negative, no one has a thick enough skin to hear that hundreds of people now despise them. What’s important is that Jenny feels our love and can use our positivity to repair herself. So, Jenny, thank you for giving us psychotic cats and homicidal toys, and thank you for teaching me that logic had no place in spousal arguments.

  301. As much as I want to attack this rude little man named Chris I will not. I’m better than that. Jenny the rest of us love you still. Your random post are what I look forward to everyday. You remind us all to be strong and ourselves. thank you. I will not throw giant pineapples at people who anger me today.

  302. So sorry that you have to be brave at a time when you absolutely don’t want to.

    It is so hard to tune out the voice of the one douche-canoe in the ocean of love.
    Take heart – you have a NYT bestseller & popular blog under your belt. I think that speaks the loudest.

  303. Ooooh, entitled AND demanding. Well, isn’t Chris just a special little bunny!

    Dear Chris, to borrow a phrase the from ever-marvelous Bruce Campbell, Jenny is not your monkey. She does not perform on your command. She owes you nothing. Read her or don’t. Enjoy the cute cat photos with the hilarious captions, or pass them by. To those of us who DO enjoy the blog by Jenny-the-author, who DO care about Jenny-the-person, and who DO like to contribute to the community, your comments are about as welcome as a fart in a crowded elevator. Do us all a favor and keep the stink to yourself.

  304. Look, “Wow!” at #184, if that IS your real name, just because I wear curlers in my hair and carry a hair dryer 24/7, covered my walls with poorly-taxidermied critters and cut Jenny’s head out of publicity photos and pasted 44 little Bloggess faces onto a big poster of all the U.S. presidents we’ve ever had DOESN’T MEAN I’M IN A CULT.

    Now if you’ll excuse me, the glue on Woodrow Wilson has dried and it’s time to make Warren Harding BEAUTIFUL.

  305. Jenny, and Angela, I am sorry for your loss. I am sorry you have/had to have that conversation with your daughters. You are in my thoughts.

    @Ginny #148: LOL

    @Jennifer #251: Word! Pass the Hawaiian Punch!

    Jenny, I aspire to be as kind a drunk as you. One day at a time, or something, rihgt? RIHGT!

  306. Jenny–
    I am so sorry for your family’s loss. There are things that we, as parents, should never have to explain to our children. That one tops the list. The conversation I’m about to have with my six year old daughter about what happened in Connecticut on Friday is another of those things.

    As to everything else, hey, I’m here for the cats and the giant metal chickens and the conversations with Victor that are waaaay funnier than any conversations I ever have with my husband. Oh, and oohing and aaaahing and squeeeeeing over pictures of your cats keeps me from adopting more cats, which makes my husband happy, which in turn keeps our marriage happy. So yeah, you may never be Hemingway or Plath, but hey, you’re saving marriages! I suggest anybody who came here looking for Hemingway to go READ HEMINGWAY. There ya go, Chris. I fixed it for you.

    Jenny, just keep on being you. Because you are the shizz covered in awesomesauce smothered in fanfreakingtastic. And we love you just the way you are!

  307. OMG. WTF, Chris?

    Why do I come here? The hilarious arguments with Victor. The hilarious pics of the hilariously named cats. The taxidermied animals in costume creating memes. And of course the mushrooms that are impersonating boobs. Lighten the fuck up. She’s had two people in her life die tragically in two days. Gawd.

    This: “Hemingway and Plath. . . They almost never posted about cat pictures and things worked out well for them.” BWAH-hah-hah-hah!

  308. This shit sounds like what happens to me when I’m on a medication that fucks with my sleep. Or when I’m having a migraine while I’m asleep. I don’t know if you’ve had any meds changes lately, so I just thought I’d mention it. I hate dreams like that!

  309. Jenny, please don’t stop writing the Victor conversations or posting cat pictures. I love your blog however you choose to write it. Plus it’s your blog and you get to decide what you put here. We can love it or leave it. I, for one, love it. And I know for a fact that my husband does, too. Sometime, when we are traveling, you will post something especially funny and I’ll have to wait until we are at a rest stop to let him read it because, if I read it to him in the car while he was driving, he might laugh so hard he’d drive off the road!

  310. Also, I’m sorry for your loss and that I’m late posting here about it. You see, I’ve been sort of avoiding the Internet since Friday myself and a friend told me about what happened. You and your family and friend’s family have my deepest sympathies.

  311. Clearly she is jealous and causes her own problems by putting people up on impossible pedestals. Nothing she says means anything useful to you Jenny. Next.

  312. You’re awesome because you’re SO REAL AND HONEST. You’re hilarious too a lot of the time but people relate to you in so many different ways. Don’t ever stop writing the way to do, because whether its taxidermist animals, a giant metal chicken, an “I bet my eyeballs smell delicious” convo with Victor, or a silly cat pic, or an honest post about depression, you are awesome in every way, and I’m constantly thankful for all the honestly and entertainment I get from you. FOR FREE. Your perpetual awesomeness aside, what kind of moron makes demands on what they get, FREE OF CHARGE from anyone? This isn’t a “Waiter, this isn’t what I ordered and am paying for” situation. My deepest condolences to you and your family. Don’t ever change.

  313. I am a longtime fan. Like for years and stuff. Because my best friend told me you were awesome and, as usual she was right.

    But now…NOW…you’ve made a Henry VIII reference and I’m a huge history buff. Like, I read historical texts and papers on the Tudor era for fun, that big of a history buff.

    I don’t think I can handle this level of awesomeness. I just don’t. It may break my little brain.

  314. i’m so, so sorry for your loss, and pain. i’m sending light and love your way, hoping it touches you enough to give you a bit more strength. also, i come here to “hear” whatever’s on your mind, jenny, because it helps me. anything you say helps me. everything you say helps me. because every time i come to your blog, i see that i am not alone, and i have help, and i have hope, and i have someone to reach out to if i need it, and someone who reaches out to me, even though you may not realize it. you are one of a very few persons who kept me here for my kids when i was at my worst, when the depression, anxiety, and solitude became too much. if anything, i owe *you* for every published word you’ve written. so thank you. you are good. you do good. keep doing exactly what you do, because you’re perfectly wonderful just the way you are.

  316. Yet another internet comment to express displeasure that a blogger isn’t writing the way others want them to write. Argh. Dislike.

    Hugs and hearts, Jenny. And Chris. And everyone. No matter how much we annoy each other, everyone could use a hug.

  317. Oh no Jenny, never disappointing! I would never categorize this site with that word! I always smile, giggle. Laugh outright when I read things here, yours and your people! And whenever I come across some cute animal stuffed, or a cat with a purpose, I think of you and wonder how your day is going. So perhaps I am getting something from your blog after all. Thanks for taking the time to reply as I know your heart is elsewhere. Big Texas via PA hug to you.

    I can give Texas hugs because even though I live in Yankee land I was born a Texan!

  318. I once had a nightmare-ish dream, and in the dream I woke up and told my mom about it and went back to sleep, and finished the nightmare dream!

  319. don’t ever stop writing about victor or your cats or your epic collection of dead things. chris is a douchecanoe

  321. Dear Chris,

    I’m unclear. Where are we suppose to go on this site to pay Jenny? Working as a writer has been declared by many as the second hardest job. Being a mother is first. So since Jenny does both there has to be somewhere you went on this site to pay her for her writing and hard work. Why else would you feel that you had the right to complaine and be rude in such a public place? Were you misunderstood? If so, please clarify.

    Dear Jenny,

    Until you, your blog and your other public works I had not contributed to any social media. I didn’t read any blogs, I didn’t tweet, I used Facebook only rarely and then grudgingly. Not due to lack of knowledge, I know my way around a computer and the internet. Simply the belief that all that was out there were ads and drivel. This is my second post, ever.

    Because of you, your cats, red dresses, James Garfield, and too many other what apear to some as small inconsequential posts to mention I have bought Project Night Night bags, donated to Worldbuilders, helped pay for a kids funeral and donated to Toys for Tots. (Hows that for a run on sentence?) This from someone who is/was beyond angry at the world and life. I spent 2 hours today reading about JG miracle 2010. Not so angry now. You, my strange stranger who helped me with ONE sentence in an email on a truly messed up day did this. One sentence can change a life and the world. You have and you will continue to change us all for the better one sentence at a time. Thank You.

    Your loss is too great for words. I have none for you that will make it easier or better. I am truly sorry. If you are in need of something that can help, please let us know. We owe you.

Leave a Reply

MY BOOKS:


shop

Subscribe to the bloggess, y'all.

Enter your email address and receive notifications of new posts by email. It\'s like I\'m stalking you, but more efficient.

Archives

ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:

I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:

Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.

Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.

The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”.  Often irreverent, always honest.

Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Go Doc Yourself Podcast: When a good doc ends, the klatch begins… Join hosts, scientists, and friends, Erin McCourt and Erin McCartt in weekly documentary dissection.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

How the Hell Did I Not Know That?: Humorist Lucie Frost shares daily Instagram reels with learnings of the day—words, music, whatever–with plenty of laughs and all the curse words.

Beautiful Writers book: Writers! This coming-of-career memoir (w/ the BEST advice from celeb authors, real shit you haven’t heard) is life. A page-turning beach read doubling as how-to. #Magic

The Dating Days of Marta O: When I told my sister I was building a blog she said: “Do people still read blogs?” I do not know, but if YOU want to read it, here it is. Keep in mind, my stories about dating after 40 are for the brave.

Where Do I Belong? A memoir of Sarah Carrington: The unbelievable story of growing up in a religious cult in the mountains of Northern British Columbia. What happens to you in life doesn’t make you strong; rising above it does.

CONNECTED: A Personal Journal for Ketamine Therapy Created by writer & patient Katherine Davis for this powerful clinical treatment. If considering ketamine for major depression, check out this essential tool.

Hyperbole and a Half by Allie Brosh: SO GOOD.

Discover more from The Bloggess

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading