I assure you, there’s nothing of interest going on in here.

in Random Crap

This is the typical view from my toilet:

I can feel that stare from 10 yards away. Not that my toilet is 10 yards from the bathroom door. Because that would be ridiculous. And a total waste of space.

A close-up:

"Hey. What's going on in there?"

And this is me screaming at Hunter S. Thomcat:  STOP LOOKING AT ME.  Seriously.  Stop.  Find something productive to do.  GO AWAY.

Victor:  What?  Are you yelling at me?

me:  No.  I’m in the bathroom.  I JUST WANT SOME PRIVACY.

Victor:  Um...okay.  Then maybe stop yelling at me.

me:  OH MY GOD, THERE IS NOTHING OF INTEREST GOING ON IN HERE.  STOP STARING AT ME.

Victor:  I’M IN THE KITCHEN.  WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?

me:  I’M NOT TALKING TO YOU, VICTOR.  OH MY GOD, JUST TAKE A DAMN PICTURE ALREADY.

Victor:  What is wrong with you?

me:  I CAN’T PEE WHEN YOU’RE LOOKING AT ME.

Victor:  I’M NOT LOOKING AT YOU, CRAZY.

me:  VICTOR, I’M NOT TALKING TO YOU.  I’M TRYING TO REASON WITH THE CAT.

Victor:  Of course you are.

323 thoughts on “I assure you, there’s nothing of interest going on in here.”

Read comments below or add one.

  2. my cat does that ALL THE TIME…. and the ferrets even go so far as to scratch on the door!

  3. In my experience, you can only reason with a cat when food is the topic of discussion and said food has already been placed in their bowl.

  4. If I had a nickel for every time I told my hubs I wasn’t talking to him I was talking to the cat, I’d be a gazillionaire.

    I think. But I’m bad at math, so don’t hold me to it, ‘kay?

  5. He has a right to know what you do behind closed doors, Jenny, in case you’re creating an unsafe environment for him. He’s heard the rumors.

  6. Thats my cat. but he insists on actually being in the bathroom. at my feet. Staring

  8. I’m having a similar problem with our new kitten, except that since the door doesn’t full latch I have to try to deal with a fuzzy bundle of love going “LOVE ME!!!” and trying to play with my unbuckled belt – no way I can do what I came to do…

  9. So, I once had a cat who would stand outside the bathroom door and meow the entire time you were there. If I was in the shower, he would break into the bathroom & paw at the shower door until I was done.

    Cats are impossible to reason with.

  10. We have one of those peeping cats.
    And another who acts as a Guard Cat. For the longest time, at night when we went to bed she would sit right at the entry to our bedroom, facing outwards, fully alert. She would do it in front of the bathroom while we were in it, too.

    I don’t even bother closing the door when I’m home alone, because my littlest cat will scratch at the bottom of the door and cry out until I open it.

  12. My cats just open the damn door. No sense of boundaries, I tell ya. Their litter box is in my bathroom, so whenever I go in there to use it they seem to think that it’s time for them to use it too.

  13. Mine have a fascination with watching me take a shower. I’d shut the door but then they’d yowl loud enough to wake the dead. Worse than toddlers, I tell ya.

  15. Mine can’t see under the door, so they loudly let me know this. I too try to explain to them that I’m busy but will only be a moment and if they just left me alone I could be out quicker. They don’t get it either!

  16. Wait, people CLOSE bathroom doors?! What ELSE can the cats do, then?!

    Yeesh. You people.

  18. You could get one of those comedy snake-shaped draft excluders to block the gap under the door.

    Although in this particular situation a taxidermied Burmese Python may be more appropriate.

  19. I don’t have a cat, but my 110-lb Great Dane will follow me into the bathroom and BREATHE on me. If I try to leave him on the other side of the door, he’ll just paw at it until it’s damaged. I lose either way.

  20. Geronimo, our 25lb ragdoll, will literally sit there and bawl if you don’t acknowledge his presence outside the door, and then let him in. He even goes so far as to even stick his paws/legs as far as they will go under the door and then try and do the impossible and scratch the inside of the bathroom door.

    You have no idea how embarrassing this was when our accountant stopped by and then had to use the loo. Geronimo was insulted that he wasn’t invited to accompany Tom into the loo.

    We now meet at Tom’s office instead of here at our home.

  21. Our cat just knocks the door open. She EXPECTS to be let in and if the door isn’t opened for her, she sits there meowing and scratching at the door.

  22. So, I have this random draft blocker I made out of toe socks. Would you like it? It would totally block his view, so you could pee in peace.

  24. Just let the cat in. I mean, after all, he does share a symbiotic namesake relationship with your nether regions. I’m not sure he sees the resemblance, though.

    (See, that’s the problem. I invite him in and he looks at me like “Why would I want to be in there?” and I have no answer. Then I get “the glare”. It’s like he’s doing it on purpose to fuck with me. ~ Jenny)

  25. You FOOL! You should know that you cannot pee without the supervision of an animal!

    (said the bitch who can’t pee without her Eskimo dog barging into the loo)

  26. I know the feeling! My cat can open the door and waltzes in, followed by my toddler who then wants to sit in my lap… argh.

  27. My dog, Maz who is terrified of water (bathing her 20 pound ass it a 2 man job) follows you to the bathroom but stops 2 feet away and paces around the area. If you take to long she give to door a warning scratch. If you still aren’t on her time frame she starts yelping at you. I have often been caught comming out the bathroom saying “just because you are scared of water doesn’t mean the rest of us cant use the bathroom in peace. If I needed help I’d ask for it” or threatening to lock her in cuz that’s how I roll. Who’s ever heard of a dog that scared of water anyway. She won’t go outside if you are watering the plants; just sits at the door

  28. My cat is less about seeing under the door than about sitting on about 2 feet away from the door and staring at it whenever someone is in there. So pretty much, you leave the bathroom and he’s sitting there looking at you like, “I know what you did in there. I KNOW.”

    It’s ridiculous.

  29. You know what I do to keep Sophie from staring at me under doors? After I shut the door I drop a towel in front of it. Of course, now she’s figured out the latch on the bathroom door is weak, and if she flings herself at it often enough she can open the door and get a much better view. I need to go buy a hook-and-eye lock.

    My years of cartoon-watching experience tells me that this battle eventually end with a blackened hole where my house used to be, and me and the cat sitting on a cloud, strumming harps.

  31. I’m more concerned by your habit of taking a camera into the bathroom.

  32. Reasoning with a cat is like reasoning with a child under 5. But I do perceive Hunter as an old soul. So you might have had a shot if Victor would have stayed the frick out of it.

  35. So… Dogs are no better. We have a mini schnauzer that will nose his way into the bathroom if the door is cracked and sit right at your feet.. .staring at you.. and even possibly putting his paw up on your leg, just begging for you to pet him. If you don’t.. he’ll turn around and back his ass up in between your legs and sit there… No way you can ignore him… When you tell him to go away, he just looks at you, like, yeah.. right…

  36. Open the door! Privacy not allowed!
    All your creatures want to be with you at all times. I always have all my animals in the bathroom with me, all crowded together. My bathroom is small, like the size of a small closet. They just seem to think it is a secret hiding place, and it is warm!

  37. My bathroom door doesn’t latch, so when any of the 7 dogs, or 3 kids even just walks down the hall, the door opens. I have no choice but to pee with an audience.

  38. My cat is always sticking her feet under the door. My labradoodle, who has figured out that she is tall enough to open doors with her face, likes to climb in the shower with me. Because that’s completely normal, right?

  41. At least he isn’t sitting on your lap. My cat loves the bathroom so much that she sleeps on the toilet when I’m not home and when I do have to pee if she isn’t winding between my legs she is in my lap… claws out… which is a bitch.

  42. Laughing so hard right now. This happens more to my husband than me. For some reason they are not able to tolerate him being behiind a closed door. They will sit there and yell, cry, scratch. They will lay down and try to look under. They will, basically, freak the fuck out.

    NO IDEA WHY.

  44. Looks like every single day of my life. Except my cat is black. (Somewhere in there you’d think there’s a euphemism, but there’s really not.)

  46. One of my cats figured out how to open the bathroom door and jumps on my lap when I’m trying to use the toilet. Heaven forbid I walk in the same room as her in the box, though! Such a one way street with them! I call it Snuggle-rape. (hopefully that doesn’t offend too many people)

  47. No cats, but my dogs will try to slide in before the door is shut too. If they don’t make it, they’ll wait right outside the door to make sure I actually come out.

  48. Oh, lords, mine do THE SAME THING. Only it starts with a little paw…slowly creeping in…then it hooks under the door, and they start PULLING THE GODDAMN DOOR OPEN. I need a deadbolt on my own bathroom door, because if they get in, THEY JUMP ON MY GODDAMN LAP WHILE I’M PEEING. I wish I was making this up.

  49. HAHAHAHA I just love your followers/friends. Always, always can count on them to make me smile.

  50. Possible solutions:
    1. Keep a selection of small rollable cat toys by the toilet. When you feel the cat stare, roll one out under the door to distract the cat while you pee. Repeat as often as needed. Downsides, you’ll need good aim to get the toy out under the doors and you could run out of toys before you finish
    2. Keep a laser pointer by the toilet. When you feel the cat stare turn on the laser pointer, place it on the floor and move it with your foot to distract the cat. Downsides, you need to make sure the batteries are charged and potential for cat eye damage.

  51. My cat opens the door and jumps into my lap. I’ve totally given up on cat bathroom privacy.

  52. one evening, as guests left a party at our house, I noticed one friend had white fur around her collar. I commented that she must have met “Toad” . . . our black and white kitty. She hissed something through her teeth about meeting that damn cat. I asked what she could mean because Toad was the friendliest of cats. In fact, Toad loves nothing more than being kissed on the head. She explained that Toad had followed her into the bathroom, and jumped up on her lap.

  53. That cat is awesome! Hahahaha… That’s cats for you… when you look for them, they run away. When you want them to leave, they stare you down to blubbering jello.

  56. To my dogs, the sound of my ass landing on the toilet seat is like the sound of the treat jar. They come running from miles away (okay, from somewhere in the house) and stand directly in front of my knees, sometimes even trying to maneuver themselves between my knees, as though it were the most interesting thing in the world. IT’S NOT.

  57. My cat refuses to be touched or cuddled, but can never be left alone for a moment. Closed doors, to her, are terrifying and she demands in to the point of destroying the bottom of most every door in my house. ESPECIALLY the bathroom.

  58. OMG.
    My cats will do that.
    All three of them. Simultaniously.
    There are few things more awkward than having three sets of eyes peering at you from under the door frame while you’re doing your private business.
    I’m convinced that cats are nothing but giant, furry perverts.

  61. I used to have a four-year-old son who would do that. Oh, not to me–he came in with me–he only did it when having a conversation with company. Through the crack.

  62. My cat will follow me into the bathroom and then jump up in my lap and just sit there staring at me. I would leave him outside the door but he is too quick and I have to pee too bad to fuss with him.

  63. The story about your cat and the bathroom in Let’s Pretend was my very favorite part.

  65. I don’t have a cat. I have a dog that sticks her nose under the door and snuffles and leans on the door so she can fall in when I open it. My kids used to stick their fingers under the door and wriggle them in what bordered on a come-hither motion.

  66. Preston loves bathroom time. He walks from the counter onto your lap. He then will flip on his back, make mooey eyes at you and knead. My mom calls him a perv. He also likes watching me shower. Guess Im just use to him. By the way we only close bathroom doors when company is here. Cat rule number 4.

  67. If I don’t push the bathroom door until it latches, my cats will push it open and walk in on me!

  68. My cat likes to rub up against my legs when I’m trying to pee and I often yell “I DON’T RUB UP AGAINST YOU WHEN YOU’RE IN THE LITTER BOX SO GO THE FUCK AWAY” but it rarely works. I feel your pain.

  69. Cats are worse than drunk people, people in love, and 2 year olds when it comes to reasoning. Cats are quite only topped by drunk, in love 2 year olds as the worst.

  71. BWAHAHAHA!
    My youngest son (3yrs) used to do that until recently. Only he’d actually come in, sit on the step stair near the toilet, and hold my hand.
    “I really need some privacy right now, babe,” I’d say.
    “OK! I have privacy WIFF you!” he’d reply.

    *sigh*

  72. get one of those toy guns that shoot the little rubber suction cup darts. See how long it takes before you can hit the cat from the toilet. Then once you’ve mastered that, see hoe long it takes for the cat to decide this is a fun game.

  74. Every time anyone leaves the living room in the direction of a bathroom, our cat runs ahead like an addict. Because there’s a chance someone might turn on the faucet, and he’s twitching for a fix of that precious sink water. My son and I used to let it run for a bit so he could play in it, but my husband had a fit. Apparently, the cat’s nether region is wayyyyyy to close to the toothbrushes when this happens. Which is pretty ick, so now he’s not allowed on the sink.

  75. There’s a dude on Animal Planet that like, teaches you how to reason with cats. His name is Jason Galaxy. He’s why I own a dog. Also my dog thinks there’s something horrible going on in the bathroom and always waits for me outside, just in case.

  76. My cat spends bathroom time knocking things off my desk because he knows I can’t stop him. I think I’d prefer this. It’s creepy, but you don’t end up with spilled drinks on your keyboard.

  77. We cant go to the bathroom without our cats. One of them will whine at the door and scratch it and OPEN it to be there. Or just climb the wall and look at you through the windows above the doors. (they are opposite one another). Creepy? Theres a second cat who will start digging next to my husband when hes doing number 2. Seriously. And then theres a third cat, our youngest, who isnt really a lap person. Unless you’re on the toilet. Then she will jump on your lap. Awkward much?
    I love my cats *grin*

  78. My cat liked to sit in my lap which was super annoying until winter. Then I was thankful because I could steal his kitty warmth.

  79. My cats do the same to me (but not to my husband, of course), and they cry, scratch, and paw if they didn’t manage to run in before I closed the door. My favorite is when one cat gets in the restroom and then they have a paw battle through the little space under the door. :-/ They only leave me alone if I turn the bathtub on–it’s my secret to occasional peace.

  80. My two cats do the same thing only they get the dog to join them so the 3 take turns looking at you under the door and scratching at the door.

  81. I don’t have a cat, but my dog is the same way. If I’m trying to poop, you better believe my wiener dog will be on the other side sniffing, lightly scratching and sticking his nose under the door. It’s funny when I let him in there with me, he’s begging to get out.

  82. Pfft. My 95 pound dog opens the door, walks into the bathroom, jumps into the tub. THEN she stares at me. I wish she only peeked under the door.

  83. Many years ago we had 2 golden retriever puppies. They were not yet house-trained, so they were confined to the bathroom. We only had one bathroom… Turns out my husband is capable of peeing while standing on one foot and using the other foot to hold off the curious puppies. Pretty impressive, if you ask me.

  84. My last cat was a bengal…so wild, and a little too smart for his own good. He figured out how to open doors. Including the bathroom door.

    So if you didn’t LOCK the door, you were generally in for a rude surprise – particularly if you were a guest. 😉

  85. this is why I never lock my bathroom door. the plaintive cry of a kitty on the other side of the door makes it impossible to attend to any bathroom business! all they wanna do is get into my pants ;p

  87. my new puppy does that all the time. Also my old lady dog will barge through the door if I don’t close it all the way and because the door is half broken that takes too much effort. So I just try to pee when they sleep…

  88. Something more interesting needs to be going on elsewhere.
    Before pooping, make sure to create a diversion in the kitchen first.
    Maybe set some mice free or something.

  89. I have 4 dogs and a cat that all insist on coming in when I’m in the bathroom. The mastiff bangs her head on the door if it’s just, and her nose sounds like a large vaccuum snuffling at the door. It’s easier to let them it. I can pee with 4 dogs bumping into my legs and a cat on my lap now.

  90. Holy crap. This is EXACTLY what my cat does to me. I see Ibsen’s massive orange paws flailing maniacally under the door every time I’m in the bathroom. But OF COURSE if I let him in the bathroom, he immediately begs to get out. WTF, CATS!?

    Just for fun, one day I mimicked Ibsen while my husband was in the bathroom. I kept sticking my fingers under the door and begging Hubbles to let me in. Ibsen stared at me in either wide-eyed amazement or with barely concealed rage. I couldn’t quite figure out what he was thinking. Hubbles was just like… Wtf, Katy?

  91. I have four dogs that will break down doors if you go to potty without them…so now we have group potty time…4 dogs staring and me emptying my bladder…it’s weird!

  92. It’s a Potty Party! My dog follows me in every single time she hears me walk into the bathroom. From three rooms away. From a dead nap.

  93. You are lucky you have a door! My bathroom only has saloon-type doors on it, so there is no way I can keep my psycho one-eyed cat, Uno, out of there; nor my dog. I NEVER have one minute of privacy in the bathroom. When I set one foot in there (no matter how quiet I am), they are both right there and the dog wants to drink out of the tub faucet and the cat out of the sink faucet. Then they both think it’s time to play!

  94. Yup. I’ve got the beats-me-into-the-room and then sits-on-my-lap cat, too. She also makes sure I keep the toilet lid open so she can see everything get flushed down because it is fascinating. And then she wants to splash in the clean potty water because that is also fascinating, too. And because she’s stupid.

  95. My cats can open the bathroom door. I have no privacy and quite often find them watching me when I get out of the shower.

  96. Our first floor bathroom is directly opposite the front door. Our lab will fling the door open as soon as I drop my pants, so that she can come “visit”. If I shut the door all the way, she bangs her body up against the door until I open it. It makes me batty. Some day the UPS guy is going to see a whole lot of me when he drops off a package.

  98. Cats are all, “leave me alone,” but then they have these weird fetishes about bathrooms. If they were people, they’d have to sign some kind of a registry if they moved to a new neighborhood.

  99. Well, no cat for me but I do have four dogs, 2 large ones and 2 ankle biters, who think I need assistance in the bathroom. And that the little space heater should be on while we are all in there. Even if I’m just brushing my teeth or grabbing a tissue. Every. Single. Time.
    There is no such thing as privacy when you have a petbaby….

  101. My cat Sasha cries outside the door if you shut her out. I’ve given up and just let her come in, it’s less distracting.

  103. I have a cat who will ONLY be held when I’m on the toilet. She hates it otherwise. But as soon as I sit down, she gets onto the lip of the tub, climbs onto my lap and up onto my shoulder. And there she sits…..for as long as I’d let her. I’ve sat there for a half hour before, because i was so surprised that she let me hold her.

  104. This is the benefit of having a dog. Once you throw them in the tub for a bath, they stay away from the bathroom forever. I hear cats might maul you for doing that to them, though. It’s a toss-up.

  105. Our bathroom door doesn’t always close well unless you shut it just the right way. A couple of times I’ve gotten out of the shower to find the cat sitting on the lid of the toilet eating toilet paper and crying at me and the bathroom door is wide open. At our old place though, you could sit on the toilet and watch a black paw reach under the door and then a few seconds later, yank the bath mat under the door and into the hallway. She had no interest in the bath mat unless you were in the bathroom using the toilet. Then the bath mat had to die.

  107. I have a squirt bottle that I keep next to my toilet just for that reason. PixieDustTwinkleToes must be in the bathroom with me at all time, but I prefer to pee in peace as well. I have gotten really good aim with that squirt bottle…

  108. Because my cat likes to be with me pretty much all the time, including when I’m in the bathroom for whatever reason, I hung a hemmed blanket from a tension rod in the doorway as a second “door”. It keeps the heat in the room during the Winter, helps the tiny fan in the Summer, lets the cat come in whenever she wants, and there’s still the second door for when I have people visiting. Win, win, win.

  109. Not only do my dogs insist on being in the bathroom while I’m…”going,” they also insist that I pet them while they lay their heads in my lap.

  111. As soon as my cat sees me heading toward the bathroom, she runs ahead of me and beats me there. She’ll sit on the counter for a scratch behind the ear then I have to turn on the cold water faucet so that water trickles out for her to drink and play with. There is no such thing as peeing alone at my place!

  113. I can’t believe you don’t let poor Hunter S in. I’m pretty sure you re violating an age of treaty between cats and humans wherein cats must ALWAYS be allowed to accompany you to the toilet if they choose. And in my experience they usually choose to.
    You may be opening up the entire world to a breach in cat/human relations.
    And lets face it, humans are going to lose at any renegotiation.

  114. Our 6 month old cat does this too. If you’re in the downstairs bathroom, he sits about 2-3 feet away and stares at the door til you come out. But if you’re in the upstairs bathroom – at the very least, he’s staring under the door and meowing a little. Usually he’s got as many limbs as possible shoved as far into the room as possible, and cries. If you leave a clothing item too close to the door when taking a shower, it is now an under the door play toy. This is how you lose shirt buttons.

    Aren’t they precious?

  115. We have conversations like this in my house.

    Fiance: What?
    Me: I’m not talking to you, I’m talking to the dog!

    She doesn’t peek under the bathroom door, though. She whines/moans from the next room. That high pitched, whistle through the nose whine.

  116. It’s official: We love you so much, we’ll read and comment on ANYTHING you have to say, Jenny.
    Please rule us wisely.

  117. My 90 lb lab rests his head on my knees while I’m on the can and stares at me with his big, sad eyes. He drinks the bathwater when I’m in the tub, and he digs my dirty underwear out of the hamper and licks the shit out of them. NO. Let me rephrase. Licks them like crazy.

  119. I have trained my dogs to wait outside the bathroom door without touching it. When I come out, they’re like, “OMG! Are you okay? What took so long? We’re so happy to see you. It’s been YEARS AND YEARS since we’ve laid eyes on you! ” And I’m like, “Get a grip, guys!”

    I think it’s because I go along with them when they have to pee, so why WOULDN’T they come with me?

  120. My mom use to have a bird that stayed in the bathroom, because it was the warmest room in the house. It would stare at me so hard when I tried to pee, I would have to put a blanket over it’s cage just to be able to go. I still don’t like birds

  121. Ditto to ALL the crazy cat stories already listed! Mine will watch me from under the door if I don’t a) let her in the lick the toilet paper, or b) splash some water in the bathtub to distract her from licking the toilet paper.

  122. Is this the same bathroom that you wrote about in your book where he terrified you by passing notes?

    (Nope. Different bathroom. Different cat. But they were both orange. Maybe it’s an orange cat thing. ~ Jenny)

  123. my creep-o cats just come in and try to get on my lap! I don’t often shut the door, as I live alone, but especially in the mornings, they want to know what’s going on! Don’t even get me started on changing a tampon–I make sure to chase them out then!

  124. Thanks for making me feel better, simply by the fact that I get to go to the bathroom by myself. Although, to be fair, my showers are regularly interrupted by kids asking if they can have a snack.

  125. Didn’t you know that cats can’t stand a closed door? They have to be on the other side.

  126. Gosh Jenny, Even I can pee in front of my dog. Not my husband, of course, but my dog and I enjoy talking to her as well. She also likes to stay in the bathroom with me while I take a shower, on the outside, lapping up the drops of water. The question is can you poop in front of anyone? I CANNOT. Not my husband, not in a public toilet, no one. That’s just the way it is. Not even my dog.

  127. My cat EVERY morning runs in the bathroom right before me and gets in his litterbox. I guess he needs company peeing?? I don’t even bother closing the door, but I shut it most of the way and it’s basically a race between the other two to see who can open it all the way.

  128. And this is exactly why I have just given up and let the dogs in the bathroom with me. For every pee you’ll find me petting a 180-lb Mastiff with a 3 pound chihuahua on my lap.

  129. I feel your pain. One of mine yowls to come in, jumps on the sink and insists I turn it on for him. Another shoves her way in, pokes my leg, and curls up in my pants when they are around my ankles. If I dare to close the door, I’ll see paws reaching as faaaaar as they can into the room.

    Just can’t win this one.

  133. My house was built before bathrooms were invented. So when they got around to adding one to the house, they squashed it into what had been the butler’s pantry. When I enter said room ALL my pets must feel they’ve been called to a meetin’, cuz they all assemble immediately. This is uncomfortable because the bathroom is the size of a, you know, butler’s pantry.

  134. My cat is an exceptional asshole. When I sit in my big comfy chair with my laptop, she travels down to the basement, grabs one sock, brings it all the way back up and repeats until she has formed a sock circle of sacrifice around me. If Zoe Princess Pom Pom is smart enough for geometry than she is smart enough to hit the start and earn her keep.

  135. Our master bathroom is split so that the part behind the door is tiny. Just the toilet and shower, and when you use it your feet are right next to the door. Which means that every trip to the bathroom is time for a rousing game of paw tag. If I neglect to latch the door, they will pull it open, and then sit there are stare at me in disappointment. I try not to take it personally.

    Neither of them is orange, but the girl kitty is sharp.

  136. I have to deal with the dog shoving his nose under the door and sniffing. Then he exhales with this really loud, totally judgemental, snort. It’s hard to convince myself that my bodily gasses smell like cupcakes and roses with that kind of reaction.

  138. My Bean is the same way. Pushing the door open if it hasn’t latched and then just staring. Staring. Staring.

  140. I’m always convinced cats have an obsession with bathrooms because they don’t understand why you don’t use a litter box.

  141. at least your cat can’t pick a lock. my kids can. nothing worse than the kids barging in just as you’ve made contact with a tampon. at least the cat won’t ask, “Where did it go?”
    Thanks for the laugh.
    xo

  142. My cats generally leave me alone in the bathroom mostly because I’ve conditioned them to think the bathroom = bath time and they bolt once the tub faucet is on. The hubbs however isn’t so lucky. Our male cat likes to join him in the bathroom for mutual stinkiness. The cat wins that war…so glad they use the spare bathroom. Also just to screw with the hubbs I’ll toss his cat into the bathroom with him once he’s seated so he can’t retaliate. Evil I know.

  144. One of our cats likes to push its toys under the door when you’re in the bathroom, presumably to keep us entertained while we’re stuck for some reason in that little room. Guests are occasionally surprised by stuffed catnip mice appearing in the bathroom with them.

  145. I had a 125 lb black lab (and a door that didn’t latch well) that used to bust open the bathroom door with his big ass body. Then of course he would look at me as if I was the one who was being rude by closing the door on him. Thankfully I couldn’t pee my pants since I was already on the toilet!

  146. Our powder room is very small, so I can almost reach the door from the toilet. When I see an ear twitching beneath the door, I dangle a long piece of toilet paper to amuse myself. We then spend 20 minutes of the cat trying to catch it. The best part is when there’s silence on the other side, followed by fur sliding across the hardwood floor, a loud *thump* of his head on the door and the sudden appearance of paws beneath. I howl with laughter!

  147. The first dog I owned wanted to be in the bathroom with me. While I was peeing. With her head on my knee. I being a pet owner, am used to not being allowed in the bathroom without an audience, but physical contact? No. Just no.

  148. My cat Ana has pulled up the carpet under the bathroom door in similar situations. I’ve had put down painter’s tape to prevent further damage. Classy stuff, I tell you. At least it’s TARDIS blue. 😀

  149. My cat stares at me so persistently that my husband gets jealous. Seriously. Hubster totally admits it. He gets angry and calls my cat an a-hole. When I ask what the cat could possibly do to warrant such name calling, he says the cat won’t stop staring at me. Do I need to make a choice here?

  150. I could never take a picture like this… my bathroom floor is filthy, it would be too embarrasing.

  151. Get a squirt gun and shoot him with water.

    Then Victor will say, “I think the cat peed on the bathroom door.”
    You: “Not while I was looking at him.”
    Victor: “No, they can’t pee if you look at them.”

  152. I had a heart attack one morning when I was digging my nice hot shower until I saw several camera flashes! WTF!!!!!!! It was my mom taking pics of my dog laying on the bathmat just outside the shower. “Yes, cute Mom, I’m glad you captured a pic of my pup being all sweet & waiting for me but WARN A GIRL!!!!!!”

  153. You’re lucky. My cats run into the bathroom ahead of me or push open the door (need a lock on that thing) after I’ve closed it.

  154. My dog does this too, and thanks to the house settling, he can push the door open even if I try to lock it. And then he kisses me. Yuck. So very wrong.

  156. There’s a classic YouTube video where a girl’s cat jumps on top of her towel-wrapped head and perches there while the girl brushes her teefeses. After seeing this, I imagine that in the not too distant future a YouTube video will surface where a cat is perched atop a girl’s towel-wrapped head as she’s taking a whiz. Maybe it will even be the same girl. 🙂

  157. You need something that you can throw at the door to startle Hunter S. Thomcat so he’ll go away long enough for you to pee in peace. A tennis ball would work.

  158. A month a go we adopted a dog with severe fear issues to help her find her inner awesome. I’ve worked with dogs with separation anxiety, but not as severe as Lacey’s who will have potty accidents unless she comes into the bathroom with me. Apparently she thinks the bathroom door is a Stargate and I will disappear forever if I take a shower alone. I keep telling her if bathroom door really was a Stargate I would take her with me so we can play ball in zero G but she doesn’t believe me.

  159. I share this same view with my cat Cabo Wabo. Usually, I just give up and leave the door open because that damn cat will not quit trying to break down the door and/or screaming outside. Cats are assholes like that.

  160. Glad to know that my two crazy cats are actually normal in at least this one tiny way. They absolutely cannot stand it if I don’t let them into the powder room downstairs when I go in there. Ruby body slams the door and Teddy tries to reach me under the door.

  161. LOL!!! I have two large labs come with me to the bathroom. We have one of those small closet toilets and let me tell you it gets pretty crowded in that closet. I’m just glad I get the seat! Although Replacement Dog was afraid of the toilet closet after she heard it flush for the first time, to this day I will catch her sneaking into the toilet closet, she stands looking at the blank wall and then smells from the baseboard up the wall then runs out of the toilet closet as if something actually growled at her.

  163. My cocker spaniel likes to kick in the bathroom door then stand guard in it to make sure your safe. She leaves when you flush. She also likes it when you stand in the door while she is outside, apparently this is what our pack does.

  164. This is my cat Lizzy and my hedgehog Tiggy. They are convinced that the bathroom monsters will eat Mama if the door is shut. Either there is yowling or running battering rams at the door.

    Animals, eh?

  165. And so it goes with my wife and our Yorkie. We have French doors from our bedroom to the bathroom.
    Little Katy must assist my good wife with any projects conducted in there, no how carefully the doors are closed.

  166. My cat would sneak into the shower with me. I’d be washing my hair & turn around to rinse & he’d just be sitting there, soaking wet, staring me down. The first time it happened I damn near broke a hip as I jumped about 6 ft in the air & then busted my ass. It got to be pretty routine after a while.

  167. At least you aren’t overdosing on laxatives and thinking it’s the rapist again!

  168. After thinking about it Jenny, maybe you should let the kitty watch you pee. It’s the first step in a 12 step program. You’ve admitted the problem, now you have to make amends…. we know you can do it just take it one flush at a time…..

  169. I just let my cats in with me. It’s okay as long as they don’t try to climb behind me on the seat. Also, one of my cats is so totally fascinated by watching the toilet flush: “Where did the water go? Where does the water come from? WOAH!!!!” I’m glad he’s not bright enough to figure out how to flush it himself. >_<

  170. I would like to know why you can drive a truck under your bathroom door. Talk about no privacy! I wouldn’t be able to pee in your bathroom because I would know that you would be listening in the next room!! I get pee-fright real easy and this is scenario is my worst nightmare!!

  172. That’s me except mine is a 100lb lab who will bust open the door to get to me. Fun times. I’d just like some privacy.

  173. My cat is obsessed with the bathroom! If you don’t shut the door all the way she will burst in. She has this weird need to watch the toilet flush, and she LOVES to be a creeper when you’re in the shower by; A) sitting there and watching you shower (even though she can’t see through my shower curtain – I still know she’s there), and 2) when you reach to the corner of the tub to get your shampoo she feels the need to pounce on your hand and scare the pee out of you! Every. Single. Time. But I love her!

  174. I got chased by a cat yesterday that looked suspiciously like Hunter S. Tomcat. While I realize we live an entire state apart, I had to wonder if it was him. But, now that I see this photo, I see he has an alibi. He was clearly busy keeping you company.

  175. I have almost the same problem. Except both my cat and dog follow me into my tiny bathroom. Then my dog leans against my legs hoping to get his but scratched and my cat winds in between the dog and my legs purring. I’m not sure what the allure of the bathroom is but they both love being in it with me. When I take a shower they sit on the bathmat waiting for me to get out. I have no privacy.

  176. I make the cat play in the tub. My issue is the 4 month old puppy who wants to get up close and personal. Freak.

  177. Looks to me like you need one of those draft excluders that slide under the door. … Not pretty but it’d deter him for a while … like until he chewed through it to get to you.

  178. My cat insists on coming in with me. If I don’t let him in, he will cry outside of the door. I haven’t peed alone in my house for 16 years.

  179. My Dad had a cat when he was a teenager who used to put its paw through a hole in the bathroom door when he was in there. He also used to walk around the bath when my Dad was in there apparently.

    My Dad did used o let the cat lick butter off his nose however, so it’s not really surprising.

  181. Exactly! But my cat scratches and meows to get in,THEN scratches and meows to get out! Lame…

  183. 5 cats in the house. They take turns trying to rush in the bathroom with me. I have to be quick to shut the door.. then they do the same thing.. putting their paws thru the crack under the door and scratching & crying like I’ve gone thru some weird portal into nothing and they can’t even hear me thru the door..

  184. I’m sitting here laughing at my computer. Alone. Well not exactly alone. A cat and two dogs are staring at me while I laugh. At least I’m not trying to pee. Although if I keep laughing . . . maybe that’s what they’re hoping.

  186. hahaha. mine stick their entire arms under the door and then wave them around.

  187. I’ve had cats all my life, so I’m used to having one in there with me when I go to pee. It helped a lot when I had toddlers who would also insist on being in there with me. Now the cat box is in there so she joins me for a companionly pee. It’s a girl thing, I guess.

  191. I once had a cat named Enid who was, let’s say, “fascinated” by running water. Only, it didn’t need to be water. If I didn’t close the door, she’d come a-running anytime I sat on the throne. She’d stand up between my knees and try to dive in, paw first. I didn’t let her of course, but she was persistent. When my hubby and his best friend drank a few too many beers out on the back deck they’d engage in the much beloved male pastime–the outdoor wiz. On those nights I wouldn’t let the cat back in the house because she’d be suspiciously damp. So yeah, keep that door closed.

  194. Ah, ya see… you have it good. My cat prefers to sit **inside** my pants, and has usually fallen asleep just in time for me to roust her so I can get up and leave.

  195. My boy corgi, Rory, HAS to be in the bathroom with me. It is sweet but annoying. My orange tabby, Cooper, is NEVER allowed in the bathroom because he sinks his teeth into the toilet paper roll, rendering it useless for anything but confetti.

  196. Maybe he’s just trying to learn. Training himself how to go in that big porcelain thing, rather than the little box filled with stinky sand. MAYBE IT’S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, JENNY.

  197. Whenever my kids walk into the bathroom when I’m on the toilet I yell, “Quick. Get in here. I need to talk to you.” Problem solved.

  198. Maybe it’s just my kiddos, but I’m sure reasoning with the cat works better than reasoning with my kids. When they stop listening to me, I talk to the dogs. At least they act like they’re listening. Does Hunter? 🙂

  200. OMG, I thought this was something unique to my cat. When I get up in the morning, he’ll take a flying leap out of the top bunk of my son’s bunkbed, where he sleeps, and tear past me to make it into the bathroom before I shut the door. Then he puts his front paws up on my knees, and reaches one paw up to lovingly (claws extended) try to pat and stroke my face, or whatever he can reach. He’s a very tall cat.

    If I manage to get into the bathroom without him, he’ll lie down and stick his paw under the door, and yank repeatedly on it, causing the towel rack on the back of the door to bang loudly until everyone in the house is awake. My husband usually ends up yelling, “Just let the damned cat in already!” which wakes up any kids who weren’t already awake from the cat yanking on the door. Invariably, one of them will have to pee desperately upon waking, and will come running and throw the door open (letting in the cat, of course), and say, legs crossed, “Are you almost done yet? I need to pee NOW!” Sigh. Sometimes it’s just easier to let the cat in.

  201. You make me happy. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one tryin to reason with my cat. Although she usually comes in with me like “Oh, we’re going in here now? Okay.”

  202. Yeah, my cat won’t let me use the bathroom unaccompanied. I’ve tried to tell her that I went alone for years before she came along, but like most cats she stubbornly refuses to listen.

  204. My dogs do this, only they will muscle their way in and just sit there and stare at me. One of them tries to jump on my lap while I’m in there, but I think that’s just because he wants to see what’s going on in my Us Weekly. (The answer is: Jennifer Anniston is pregnant. No she isn’t. Yes she is.)

  205. I don’t close the door to the bathroom, so I don’t think I’d actually know how to go to the bathroom WITHOUT a cat in there. And really, you discover when they hit the litter box (also in the bathroom) at the same time, there is such a thing as too much togetherness.

  206. One of my cats actually figured out how to flush the toilet. Scared the crap out of himself the first time he did it. He literally fell over the top of the toilet seat(he was peering down ) when he reached down and pushed the lever, he was so shocked he lost his footing. Poor guy.

    He hasn’t done it in a while but he does always have to be in there with me at all times.

    The best is he STARES at me when I shower. He flies into the bathroom the second he hears the water going. Then he just SITS on the toilet seat and watches me as I shower. It’s really, really creepy. I always wonder if he’s judging me for not shaving or something.

  207. If it’s not my cat scratching and crying at the door, it’s my son trying to pick the lock so he can “keep you company” because apparently I can’t pee alone in his world.
    My cat cries like her foot got caught in the door, which usually has my husband running to see what’s wrong only to find my asshole cat crying and pawing at the door so he knows there’s nothing wrong other than my cat wants to steal every moment she can alone with me.

  208. Mine is toilet obsessed. He likes to watch whatever it is get flushed down… totally weird.

  209. Arnebya at #5 has a point; especially since you brought Whiskers O’Shaunnesy home. I’d say he’s heard the rumors AND seen the warning. If I came home to find a distant relative of mine hanging on the wall (no matter what kind of accessories displayed on said relative) I would not take my eyes off you either. ( if I were Hunter S. Thomcat, that is; otherwise that’s the making of a really creepy movie about a serial killer taxidermist, her stalker and an unlucky random relative)

  210. Maybe he was watching late night tv and saw an ad for one of those cat pees in the bathroom devices and whenever you go in to the bathroom he’s trying to beam that thought in to your brain.

    Hunter S.: Cat potty. You are going to buy a cat potty. Buy. A. Cat. Potty.
    Bloggess: GO AWAY
    Hunter S.:thinking: You would think she’d be on board with the gettng rid of the litter box idea. Damn.
    Blogess: GO.AWAY!
    Hunter S.: Sure, you but all sorts of stuffed animals and they get clothes and become internation stars of postcards and Christmas miracles and you won’t get the LIVE animal a potty. Fine.

  212. You need a door towel. Everytime you go to do your dirty deeds, just drop that sum’bitch right there, and squeeze it under the door. Your cat will probably get it out, but it’ll give you enough time to get right. Problem solved, dirt cheep.

  214. Just get a larger stuffed cat and place it on the inside of the door (facing out, of course) … problem solved. You can keep him on the bathroom counter, when not in use!

  216. Oddly enough we have a cat door that goes into the bathroom… so peeing in peace. Well, that’s just not a thing.

  217. Jenny I seriously love you. You make my day 🙂
    In my housae, because there is carpet in the hallway and tile in the bathroom, there is enough space for my ferrets to squeeze under the door and join me. It’s very hard to take care of things when a fuzzy is trying to get in your lap.

  220. I have to hope I can sneak off without being seen. My female cat will turn into a yowling battering ram if I shut the door. If I leave the door open so as not to deal with her brand of crazy I have to either throw balls of toilet paper for her to chase, open all the cabinet doors so she can explore or let her unravel the paper roll. She does NONE of these things at any other time. While this is going on my 23lb cat will sometimes wander by and spot an available lap that needs filled. Now we’ve added a puppy to the mix and she follows me everywhere I go. At this point I could probably poop in a PetSmart aisle.

  221. oh good, the door opens IN. a friend had a bathroom door that opened OUT, and once peeking Tomcat was inadvertently side-slammed. peeked he no more.

  224. I’m laughing because I’m reading this in the bathtub with two cats staring at me. I’ve given up on trying to keep the door closed. One of my cats also once systematically stripped my entire Christmas tree of candy canes and poked them under the door.

  225. I have a pocket door and my cat has learned to slide it open. So not only does she come in to stand and stare, but she leaves the door wide open!

  227. I think it is an orange cat thing. My cat Red Dog must be on the bathroom with me. He prefers to put his paws on my knees & stare. He is also fancinated with the flushing of the toilet. My husband is worried he might fall in one day.

  228. YES! My cat does this, and then when I let her in, lies on the bathroom floor and looks out into the hall!

  229. Am I the only one more interested in what looks like blood oozing from the far cabinet?

    (No worries. It’s not my blood. ~ Jenny)

  230. I totally gave up on this years ago. Seriously – three cats *all* have to be there for every bathroom event? Just move the kibble dish in here, too, why don’t you. Dinner and a show.

  231. There are three things I can do to ensure my cats’ coming up to see me. The obvious one is feed them. The other two are either sitting on the loo or getting into bed to go to sleep.

  234. Once my cat jumped in the shower with me. It startled me so badly that I knocked a Costco sized bottle of shampoo off and it slammed into my toe and fractured it. I fractured my toe with a bottle of shampoo b/c the cat wanted to take a shower with me. Looking back on it, I’m not sure what I was complaining about . As a single woman, I should have been glad anyone wanted to shower with me at all. I should have just taken it as a compliment. Instead I ended up at the doctor having to explain to him how I fractured my toe in the shower with a bottle of shampoo and a cat!

  236. MIne doesn’t look under, just puts his paw underneath repeatedly. On the other hand, when my best friend comes over, he insists on going in the bathroom with her.

    He also flushes the toilet when he’s bored. I don’t even know how he learned to do that. I don’t think I want to know……

  237. My cat was a stray until he decided he should live with us because he fell in love with my 5lb Yorkie. Due to his former lifestyle he has a bit of an obsession with being fed as often as can trick someone into it. So, he busts in so he can bite me to demand food again, NOW while I can’t escape. ((sigh))

    Also, I’m building you a little fan base here in tiny Kuna Idaho!! <3

  238. I gave up and just leave the door open for my two cats, which is fine since I live alone. Less fine when I have company or my boyfriend visits. He’s even taken to resignedly leaving the door open a crack for them. Otherwise the crying and pathetic under-door-reaching is just too much. I get toilet cuddles and occasionally a kitten in my pants. They even jump in the shower between the curtain and the bathtub wall. I don’t get it, but just accept it and pretend it’s because they really really love me and can’t bear to be separated from me… yeah, that must be it.

    I must be delusional.

  242. I live with two cats and no people so I don’t even close the bathroom door (even though that’s how society breaks down, I know.) Toilet time is my Manson’s favorite lap time. He violently rams his nose into my face until I consent to hold him. It’s easier just to give in.

  243. While my cat does the same thing, I think people are missing the point. Cat’s are anal retentive control freak pirates. They are trying to hypnotize you so you won’t flush and will ‘bury the treasure, bury the treasure’ when you have finished your business. When they have perfected their mind control device, we are all screwed.

  244. Obviously you have a secret portal to the outside world in the bathroom and that is not acceptable to cats. They just know you are not coming out of there and then who will feed them. We only close the doors when we have company.

  245. I haven’t read all of the remarks, but cudos to your cat, It’s doing its job! While seated, obviously preoccupied, and in a very compromising postion, your cat is guarding you. In fact, if you leave the door open, your guard will take position between you and the door, for your protection. The guard cat only requires a few pats and thanks for it’s services.

  246. I will often walk into the bathroom and find my oldest daughter lounging on the toilet, pants around her ankles, with the cat on her lap. I usually tell them both that they are disgusting and leave the room

  247. When I go home, I really have to make an effort to get in the bathroom and shut the door before a cat joins me. PEEING IS NOT A TEAM SPORT, CAT!

  248. That’s a very big crack under your bathroom door.
    You need to put a brush strip on the inside then the cat couldn’t look under the door.
    That would give you some privicy and drive the car crazy(ier)

  249. My cat used to do that to me but that’s because I was using his toilet. He’s got it all to himself over the rainbow bridge. I miss cat stink eye under the door.

  250. I think cats are born with the instinctual knowledge that sticking paws under door is funny and and trying to stick a nose under the door is even funnier. In the wild, why would a cat ever need to do that? You could get your paw cut off or eaten off if you sstreeeeettttched it into the wrong crevice! It’s so cute to see these paws come stretching in from under the door, the little nose going back and forth trying to get in. Under our door, the space isn’t big enough to see her eyeballs, just her paw and nose.

  252. i have a dog….and a seven year old. i gave up on bathroom privacy long ago. the only bathroom privacy i get is at work. which is sad.

  254. Who needs privacy? All 3 of my kids think it’s party time when they get to come in the bathroom with me. It’s rare (as in never) that I get to pee alone.

  256. One time my ex-husband was using the toilet, you know standing facing it, and Tucker kitty had to go in and see what was going on. He couldn’t get a good enough view so went inbetween my ex and the toilet, and stood up with his front paws on the seat, looking in to the bowl. My ex ended up peeing all over the cat. Just a cautionary tale you can use the next time you try to reason with your cat.

  258. I have a seven-month old Siamese kitten who INSISTS on being in the bathroom with me at all times. When I’m brushing my teeth, he’s rubbing on me. When I’m taking a shower, he is playing with the shower curtain. He even climbs on my lap when I’m on the toilet. Cats have no sense of privacy these days.

  259. This is my dog! But she often beats me into the bathroom before I shut the door, and insists on sitting right on my feet. Sadly, I have gotten used to this arrangement

  260. Great pictures. Should I be surprised you had your phone with you in the bathroom?

    I don’t close the door, unless I have company. When I do, the Great Dane guards the bathroom door until it opens. And then, there he is, blocking the doorway.

  261. Wow. There is really nothing cuter than that.

    Except for my dog, who sits on my lap when I pee. Don’t worry, nothing gross touches anything gross, and nothing clean touches anything gross. Dropping a deuce is a different story. In that case, I won’t let him sit on my lap. So he just shrivels in the corner and begs with his eyes. “Please mommy, PLEASE let me sit on your lap while you poopoo.”

    I am all he has.

  262. At least it’s not another small human being doing that…then figuring out they can actually open the door and then stand there staring at you. It’s not like you can just jump right up and push them out the door…and it’s even MORE awkward when company is there and small human does this to you at that time…

  263. Try having pet rats that fit UNDER the door. And guests that aren’t at all prepared for that.

    Funny shit.

  264. My cat is obsessed with running water. She sits in the bottom of the tub while I shower, meowing and waiting for me to make a stream of water run down my finger like her personal little fountain. Or she doesn’t wait and she licks my toe – which is awkward when my eyes are shut and I have shampoo on my head. Unexpected…

  265. My bathroom door will look closed, but unless you pull the handle up until you hear it latch, it’s not totally cat barrier closed. My cats have somehow figured this out and have the big guy body check the door open. Cause nothing brightens up the first morning pee like one cat jumping in your lap and the others trying to peek into the bowl to see what’s going on. And God forbid they miss the hypnotic allure of watching the toilet flush.

  267. I am glad for all the comments just to find out how many other people have bathroom doors that don’t close as well (due to shifting foundations etc). None of the doors in my house close, or my cupboard doors for that matter, so the cats have free run of the house. I think Jenny you need to get over your bladder shyness – just for cats – I can’t pee in public washrooms if someone else is there so don’t feel too bad. But my cats and I have whole conversations while I’m on the can. Especially when they want attention when I’m making the “poo face”. I tell them I don’t bug them while they’re making the “poo face”. Wait, TMI?

    Ok and then there’s the funny story about how my cat is trained to play when I’m having a bubble bath. He sits on the edge of the tub close to where my toes are, and hunts for them through the bubbles. He tries to catch the toes, I try to get his paws wet. Which is really cute and funny, until he swipes too vigorously and gets a good scratch in on my toes. My fault for teaching him the game to begin with.

    Yes I’m single with cats … how can you tell?!?

  270. Our kitty loves to “help” in the bathroom.

    Specifically, she’ll jump on your lap and bat at your nose or hair.

    But today…today she decided to be extra “helpful”. She climbed up my back, stood on my shoulders, and started kneading my hair. Of course she was in the most awkward position so I couldn’t convince her to get off. Then she decided to play “queen on the person” so she tried to climb up on top of my head.

    Conclusion cats are potty “helpers”

  271. Would never get that photo out of my cats when ever they are staring at me intently or at my food they look away as if they were never interested as soon as they see I notice them.

  272. My cat, Eloise, RACES whoever is going into the bathroom and will either perch on a ledge next to the toilet. Or worse, she will go to her litter box, which is in the bathroom and use it while you are on the toilet.

  273. My seven month old short hair plays air hockey under the bathroom door with pop caps…

  274. I finally gave up and started bring the cat into the bathroom with me. But it Kinda skeeved me out when he would jump on my lap and fall asleep.

  275. OMG Jenny!! I have the same view from my bathroom! EXCEPT! Rodent, as I have lovingly named her, has figured out how to open the damnable door and now walks right in! Last night she opened the door AND tried to jump on the seat BEHIND ME WHILE I WAS SITTING ON IT!! She will not allow me to go to the bathroom alone EVER! I thought being a mom meant not getting left alone in the bathroom, and it does, BUT I have a very teeny tiny claustraphobic bathroom and when Rodent AND the small child BOTH decide they need to join me in the room, sigh I cannot breathe! Hugs Jenny, I totally love and adore you! Thank you for always making me smile and even making me cry a few times!

  276. Ah hahahaha………..I would welcome someone watching me pee……..just to make sure I did it correctly. That is one cute kitty!

  277. And once again, I can only conclude that Victor is a saint, A SAINT I TELL YOU.

    Well, it is a day ending in -y…

  278. I have a cat named Bitey McChompersons who would hide behind the toilet at night. Then, when you stumbled in tired and sat down, she would dart out and bite your ankle and the soft spot behind your knee. When you lurched forward to grab at her, she would dart to the other side and bite you on the other leg until both your legs were bleeding.

    She also has opened the bathroom closet, gone inside, and shut the door behind her. Then, you would be sitting on the toilet and she would bang open the door and fling herself at you. I never thought trying to pee would be so exciting.

  280. what I want to know is how you manage to get into the bathroom by yourself? my cat, Severus, will knock you down trying to get into the bathroom with you. he also drinks out of the toilet. apparently he was a dog in a past life…

  281. My dogs (a boxer and a pit mix) are able to open doors on their own since we have those lever-type door handles. There have been times when I’ve forgotten to lock the bathroom door, only to have them barge in and repeatedly nudge my legs with their extremely cold noses in a plea for attention, or steal tissues and Q-tips out of the garbage knowing FULL WELL that I can’t get up and stop them. They remind me of furry velociraptors, but friendlier.

  282. Cats are perverse. Always on the wrong side of the door and will make it their life’s goal to ensure you never get to close any door in your house in peace. I have that exact same picture only in grey tabby.

  284. I laughed and laughed and laughed! And I don’t even have a cat – but I used to have the stupidest, sweetest Labrador in the world, and she did the same thing to me, lots.

  285. I cat sat. Once. Came home and found him lying on top of my turntable. Remember those? Used them to play vinyl. Anyway, it wasn’t on and he wasn’t spinning around or anything. Just napping on top of the dust cover. After flinging him across the room (onto the bed, don’t worry), I contacted his owner and he was outta there, post haste. To this day I never let another cat into my life. Or at least never into my home. And definitely nowhere near my audio equipment.

  288. Liam, my mini schnauzer, does not like to be separated from me. In fact, I used a five-minute time out when he was a puppy as punishment because he hates to be away from me. (And yes, the SECOND, the five minutes were up he was let out of the bathroom.) In any case, I long ago gave up going to the bathroom alone. Once in a while, I run down the hall and shut the door before Liam can get in. He then stands under the door and gives a ~huff~. “Yes, baby, Mama is in here. I’ll be out soon.” ~Snuffle~ I then have to be inspected once I come out. Just in case I was cheating on him with some other dog, I guess.

  289. Oh y’all made me laugh so hard!
    These comments are priceless gems, I tell you.

    No cats here, but every dog I know sits outside the bathroom door waiting for you to forget they’re there and trip over them as you exit. Then they give you *the look*.

    Payback for making them do it with a leash around their neck while everyone watches I guess …

    I dog sat an elderly border collie once who insisted on sitting on the bath mat as I took a shower (no screen and no curtain). What a way to feel dirty and ashamed. I usually use alcohol for that.

  291. I love cats and their independence. They have to be one of the most confident animals on the planet…they could care less about what anyone does or thinks because it’s like they rule the house.

  292. One o f my cats, Leo, and one of the dogs, Bonkers, both feel that when someone is in the bathroom the need supervision. So while using it one or both is always in the room with me. It just isn’t worth the fight to keep them out. Besides, the cats are our “Over Lords” (so my husband and I have determined), and if they feel the humans need supervision, then I suppose we must.

  293. I have this times 5. And one of the gang of 5 is a polydactyl aka 6 toed cat so he could probably open the door if the cats ever get organized enough to make a kitty pyramid.

  295. This also happens to me IF I could get the door to close before they sneak in and sit there staring at me! Or worse come over and lick my LEG

  298. My one year old cat Gizmo does that to me. And then opens the door if it is not latched. And cries and tries to climb on my lap.

    The best is when our other cat, Dusty, comes in too, and just stares at me. Gizmo climbing my legs, Dusty staring at me. It’s a freakin’ party at the toilet!

  299. I have walked out of my bathroom to find all three cats staring at me as if they were expecting me to have fallen in. Gods know I can’t close the door all the way because otherwise they will paw and cry and whine.

    I guess they want to show the human the proper way to use the litterbox.

  300. I’m confused with your reasoning of bringing a camera into the bathroom with you. Are you hoping to document some major ‘accomplishment’ in there, and figure there’s no time to go get a camera? Or do you have a camera specifically left in the bathroom for those moments? That’s not good for the camera if that’s the case.

  301. I read my other comment and realize that I’m not as funny online as I am in person, I just come off mean. I wish I was cooler online.

  302. My cat (Mr. Samson Not-So-Wright) likes to jump in my lap. Closing the door is useless as my 3 year old will open it. If I try to lock it, not happening, my boys have figured out how to use their toy flat head screwdriver to open the door. JUST to hear me scream at the cat who attempts to sit in my lap and lick my face while I “do my business.” Having boys is a JOY!

  303. I have three of those furry little creepers, not to mention the two children who have taught themselves to unlock our bathroom door just in case I was actually alone for 45 seconds.

  304. I used to have a cat that did the same thing. I finally took to shoving socks partway under the door to get some peace. If the cat really annoys you, fold up a pair of socks and stick a packet of rattlesnake eggs in the fold. It’s a sure cure for both a curious cat and a shy bladder…

  305. There is no getting away from the cat in my place – there are three rooms, the bathroom runs between the living room/kitchen and the bedroom so it is also a hallway. AND there are no closets so my doors act as storage space. AND the cat needs space so doors don’t close. I’ll leave the rest to your imagination. It’s the most fun when the shower is running – Bobby is terrified of the water and yet inexplicably drawn to it. It’s incredibly cute.

  307. TMI, but my cat follows me everywhere. If I try to lock him out he’ll scratch at the door and yowl until he gets it open or I break down and open it. If I take a bath he sits on the side of the tub and dangles his tail into the water. If I take a shower he’s been known to show up behind me. Or he’ll sit on the side or on the sink waiting for me. Sometimes I try to imagine who he was in a past life and I get a little creeped out.

  308. We have 3 cats. Whenever I come out of the bedroom (one of only 2 rooms they are forbidden to enter) all three of them are sitting in a semicircle around the door staring at me. I frequently yell, “GET A HOBBY!”

  309. Our cat has learned to open the pocket door into the bathroom, so there is no such thing as privacy any more. He gets VERY upset if you go in and keep him out. Alternately, he thinks it’s a different world and will attack the bathmat from under the door and try to pull it under the door into the bedroom.

  310. Now I know you take your phone with you while you sit on the pot. Should that make me love you more or less?

  311. My cat thinks it should sit on your lap as you take care of business, and then the other cat comes in mad that it didn’t get to sit on your lap and give you the Evil Eye.

  313. My cats join me in the bathroom all the time. In fact, if I don’t let them in before I close the door they sit at the door crying.

  314. And that’s why I just let the damn cats in the bathroom with me… there is no such thing as privacy (or reasoning) with a cat (or 5).

  315. Reasoning with my cat ended up with her sitting in my lap… while i poop. I’m not proud of it.

  317. I love y’all. And that my autocorrect can correctly punctualise y’all. But more to the point: WHAT is this privacy thing???? I have had very ‘loving’ dogs in my life since 8yrs old, and before that a best friend who had to entertain/be entertained during bathroom time. I only close the door at someone else’s house, and get very bladder shy oonly when i’m alone and/or know nobody is listening to me do business of any kind. Also…… I am used to having a 8lb yorkie crouch between my ankles as my 60lb lab puts his paws on my knees to give me affectionate face licks, smack in the middle of poo time.

    On a completely unrelated subject, what is happily/unknowingly psychotic?

  318. My Chihiro has to be in the bathroom with me, too, but she mostly just chills on the memory foam bathmat.

    I can’t really blame her, it’s hella comfortable to step on when you’re getting out of the shower.

    She’s always guarded me when I’m in the bathroom, though she occasionally will get up on the countertop to headbutt me if I have been gone for a while, like if I’m going to the bathroom after just getting home.

  319. We are not allowed to close any doors in our house with the cat on the other side. She has torn a hole in the carpet right outside our bedroom door, so we keep it open when we go to bed.

  320. You’re overreacting just a bit. My cat Vegas expects me to grab her tail and spin her in circles on the floor while I’m peeing…or whatever. I’m never fast enough to shut the door without crushing her skull, so I resign myself to twirling Vegas while tinkling. Which is probably a good book title. Or the name of a super gay musical.

  322. Whatever you do, don’t let him in. He will totally stick his face right next to the toilet and peek under the seat to see what’s going on.

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