Conversation with friends at a bar & grill this week:
me: Oh my God, you guys. You wanna see a completely fucked-up picture of what you see after you go to the bathroom here?
Maile: No. Not at all.
Jason: I’m pretty sure we do not want to see a picture of that.
me: No, you totally need to see it. It’s completely baffling.
Victor: For the love of God, put your phone away.
me: No, seriously. This is what I saw immediately after going to the bathroom:
Maile: Huh.
me: Exactly. That’s what you see in the mirror when you’re washing your hands.
Victor: So, you were in the men’s room?
me: NO. I was in the women’s room, but I just assume they wrote “BOYS” on the other side of the door just to make me feel much more drunk than I actually am.
Maile: Or possibly you’re so drunk that you were actually in the men’s room and just assumed that doors were intentionally playing tricks on you?
me: Oh, holy shit. I’m never going to the bathroom again.
For me the worst is the “fancier” restaurants trying to be clever with how they mark the door for men and women. With a few drinks, it’s becomes a puzzle worthy of Mensa.
That is the best. Nothing wrong with using the men’s room either way. But seriously, funny shit as always.
Heh – reminds me of a bar I used to frequent in my uni days: Bushwacker’s. The ladies room door said “Bush” and the men’s room door “Wackers.” It got funnier the more Blue Hawaiians & Long Island Iced Teas one consumed.
Scarily enough, all of the presented scenarios might actually be true. That would be a fanTAStic joke for a women’s room in a bar…
I took a picture of a pair of pants left in a woman’s stall the other day. It was like she just stepped right out of them. I was so curious about the story.
(Probably the only topless dancer to be taken up in the rapture that day. ~ Jenny)
It’s troubling when you have to wait outside the bathroom to try and see which one is the men’s room and which is the ladies by who exits (and you hope that THEY had it right, too)
That’s so sneaky! I mean, I’ve used the men’s room on occasion when the women’s has a line, but to do it unintentionally or to be fooled into thinking you did? That’s just evil mind trickery! Brilliant, but evil.
I think it’s meant as a warning: “there are *boys* out there!”
pfft…happens all the time
Yup. This has happened to me. I think.
HA! There used to be a place here in Houston that had that done in the ladies room, and no matter how many times I went there, the momentary panic flutter would get me EVERY time.
This is probably my favorite bathroom mirror selfie ever.
It’s gotta be a trick to make you feel more drunk. If I were you, I would have gone in the mens room to see if it said girls on the other side of the door. Maybe they swapped out the doors at some point and because the hinges were on those sides already, they just added new words to the outside. Those lazy bastards.
A few years ago, my local Friendly’s actually SWITCHED the men’s room and the ladies’ room. After 10 years of frequent patronage. What once were single person bathrooms were now multi-stall bathrooms OF THE OPPOSITE GENDER. Horrifying to discover after the fact.
Then all the Friendly’s in the state closed.
These two facts may or may not be related.
They should have a ‘No Exit’ sign instead!
I once ran into a Men’s restroom by mistake. I was completely dumbfounded as to why they put in urinals. Then it hit me! Since then, I have walked into another one!! LOL I say women’s should ALWAYS be on the right (get it?) AND men on the left!!! Sadly, these two place have them MIXED UP!!!
Maybe it means “This Way to the BOYS!” as in – you won’t find them in here – Go Hunt Conquer….
The same thing happened to me the other day! The back of the women’s room door said “MEN”… freaked out. Then wondered why they would tell you where you were once you were INSIDE. That’s just messed up.
I don’t know what’s better – the sign, your face, or the fact that you took the time to take this pic before rushing out to figure if you were in the wrong bathroom or not.
Best bathroom selfie ever!
HAHA! One time, I was actually quite tipsy to the point of actually walking into the men’s room by mistake. You should have seen the confused look on my face wondering why everyone was lined up near the wall.
Reminds me of the time we dropped my aunt off at the airport, and my grandma walked into the mens restroom to pee. “Huh. I wondered what those things were on the wall. French sinks??” (the urinals. We died.)
Yeah, I hate when they get clever or it’s written in Farsi or something. Ha ha very funny, motherfuckers. I’ve had two kids so when I have to go, I *really* have to go and I end up squatting over a urinal. Who’s laughing now? Um, the guy who just walked in on me, probably.
Never going to the bathroom again will probably be a problem in the long run – both painful and, well, weird. But, also? That is a CRUEL trick! That establishment needs a strongly-worded letter.
Walking in on a stranger peeing in a urinal while the two of us exchange awkward 5 second eye contact is the kind of experience that just sticks with you.
Nah, lemurs are cute. Even when rabid. And perhaps they’ve got tiny little guns – they could be rather cute as well.
Ohhh you should NEVER go to Baker Street pub in Tulsa. You’ll never find the bathroom. Seriously. They’re hidden. Behind bookcases. Don’t ask how long it took me to figure that out, but there may have been serious consideration given to peeing my pants in the corner.
*raises hand* Did you reverse to photo, or is boys written backwards on the door?
We had a place when I was in college and the signs on the doors were hands pointing to the other doors with women and men on them. For the life of me, after three years at that college and going there numerous times, I could never figure out which one was the women and which the men. Was it the doors with the names on them or the doors the fingers were pointing to? Cruel, I say…cruel.
If there were no urinals, it wasn’t the men’s room. That’s all I got.
I’m kind of afraid to touch my phone in public bathrooms. I don’t want to get tuberculosis or something. Though I might already.
Wait – I’m confused. Is “boys” backwards on the door, so when you look in the mirror it’s the right way ’round? Because that would be even screwier when drunk.
I have seen that a few times recently… it is definitely bothersome, even without alcohol! I actually ran back into a stall and waited for another person to leave in case I had gone into the men’s on accident. Luckily, I realized there were no urinals before I spent too long in there.
Did you send your friend into the men’s room to see if it had “girls” on the back of the door?
Since this is a photo of the mirror, isn’t the reflection inversed? Does the irl door say “syob”? See You Out, Babe?
The horror, the horror!
32 years ago or so, Oklahoma, rest stop bathrooms marked “Pointer” and “Setter” with two identical dog pictures on them. After driving for 15 hours and exhausted, it just gave me a big brain cramp and I had to go and ask my husband which one to go in. Still hate those people who did that.
I hate places that try and trick people that need to pee. The Sam’s Boat at Willowbrook had “Innies” and “Outies” on the bathroom door. Which makes sense when I’m sober but not when I’m drunk. Or the Baker Street in The Woodlands where you have to go through a bookshelf to find the bathroom. That sounds fun, but it’s annoying as shit when you have to pee.
Funny, I had the same experience a few days ago. I thought the girls’ bathroom was usually on the left. Lesson learned.
My quote of the weekend was actually, “Hey, let me show you guys the picture I took while I was going to the bathroom,” to my friend and both our respective boyfriends. Nobody was eager. I realized, after forcing them to look at a snapshot taken of a small chalkboard inside the stall (upon which I had maturely written “I PEED HERE”) what other sorts of photos they might have expected. Oops.
I was at a restaurant that had the 1 way glass in the bathroom doors. So, while you were relieving yourself you could see which people were or were not washing their hands.
According to my husband it was worse in the men’s bathroom, because (if I recall correctly) they had urinals facing each other around some kind of central pillar. That is a little more bathroom intimacy than I think most of us need out of life.
Someone thought they were being funny, which, it is… Until you think about how many people have panicked & run out without washing their hands, hoping to not get caught! Ewwww
That’s weird. That’s like those bathrooms with photobooths in them. Like, I don’t even want to know.
I was recently in a bar where they had seriously abstract genitalia sculptures designating the bathroom genders, which were placed amongst other random pieces of “art” . Very few people figured this out.
Some men’s bathrooms in Oz don’t seem to have urinals, so I usually check of med munchers instead.
I have a knack for walking into the men’s restroom- a 50%-50% chance and I fuck it up all the time! I’m now in the habit of searching for urinals the moment I walk in. I should probably just figure out how to use one so it looks like I meant to go in there.
My grandma went into the men’s room one day after lunch and she was completely sober …. I was waiting for her and heard her yell “oh no! Did I use the men’s room?” I can’t take her anywhere.
I’ve so done that, sober. At least you had an excuse!
Why on the inside of the door? It’s mocking you?
We were just talking about this over the weekend when one of us went in the wrong bathroom because it totally had a stupid name like men’s room. Who can figure that out?! 😉
If they really wanted to commit, they would install at least one urinal, right? Just to continue the farce.
A long time ago there was a restaurant/ dance club that had statues by the dance floor. There were the same statues in the bathrooms too, with fig leaves covering their privates. If you were to lift the fig leaves for a peek, the statues on the dance floor would light up. Everyone in the club knee someone was getting a peep show!
I’m going to make that happen in my guest bathroom. For the Halloween party we had a ghostly ghoul that only showed up in the mirror – I miss him…
They are trying to trick you into going to the other bathroom and check it out.
BTW…best bathroom pic ever!
And then you could be national tv as not just the bestselling author of a book but also that woman who hasn’t seen the face of a bathroom for x number of years! Now that’s the kind of reality tv I’d watch 😉
At least you didn’t find yourself in the men’s room by having a man walk in! Been there, much worse. Funny how the urinals don’t give it away…
I was sitting in the toilet at the airport few days ago. The sign on the back of the door said “just been diagnosed with prostate cancer?”. I was like f#ck! I’m in the gents! Went creeping out the door and found a lady washing her hands, very relieved!
It would be pretty hard to be in the Men’s bathroom without realizing it. So someone was just messing with you.
I think it’s quite ingenious… I mean it’s literally showing you the way to get to boys… as in, “go thru this door and you will find boys”. Because heck, if you’re in the girls room.. there would surely (ok, likely) be no boys in there. So, realllllyyyy…. it’s a sign helping you and telling you that you must leave the girls room to find boys. Especially if you’re drunk, and you’re possibly standing around wondering why you haven’t seen any boys. Honestly, it’s an incredibly helpful sign!
The only time I’ve gone into a men’s room, on purpose–and sober-was at an outdoor Elton John concert. Line so gawddamn long in the women’s room. NOBODY in the men’s room. A bunch of us gals said screw it & went in. No problem.
One year in highschool we had summer courses in a girl’s school, there was only a girl’s toilet in the place. All the boys were really nervous and waited until all the girls had gone back to class to go in.
That’s just mean. Or maybe the person who put up that sign was drunk at the time, too.
And now I have “Smokin’ in the Boys Room” in my head. GREAT.
You enter the bathroom as a woman and leave as a pre-pubesent (is that how you spell it?) boy. That is one fucked up bathroom!
I was at a crowded concert and I wanted to get to the bathroom before everyone else, so I left in the middle of the last song in the set. I dashed into one of the stalls and came out to find myself facing a whole wall of now-occupied urinals. The best part was that I had a bracelet I had taken off and put on the back of the toilet (it was a clothes-snagging bracelet and I was wearing tights), and of course I forgot that. So I had to round up a guy to go in and get it for me.
You have to admit that was pretty clever – and evil.
Why was it written backwards? If that’s what you saw in the mirror, I assume it’s backwards. Or does it reverse it again when you take the picture?
Mind blown.
Maybe the door is drunk.
HEY!! I was in Hayward, WI this weekend and went to a bar with 100 year old taxidermy dioramas…called the Moccasin Bar, it made me think of you. You should take a family trip there, they also have the freshwater fish hall of fame and it’s home of the lumberjack competition.
The fact that the sign is not backwards in the mirror means they were intentionally messing with their female customers.
That would have me doubting my sanity too.
Bathroom at the latest diner I went to: Blue fish, Pink fish. No one thought, however, that after being in business for eleventy-billion years, that paint fades to a washed out white. Only a fine line of a Victorian mustache on the previously blue fish (it’s washed out white looked like it was blue in a previous life) distinguished the gender. After a handful, my question becomes: What kind of fish has a fucking Victorian mustache?!?!
What’s worse, that it says “boys” or that it says “boys” BACKWARDS??
(you probably just inverted the picture, but I’ll just pretend you didn’t, it’s funnier that way)
the start of making all facilities universal? will it lead to byotoilet paper?
this makes me happy. I’m a little concerned for your well-being, but equally as entertained. This reminds me of the time I went to this gay bar where tequila shots were a dollar. Needless to say I don’t know which bathroom I was in, but I do remember a very kind, very flamboyant gay man helping me with my zipper after I peed. Such a saint..
I have NEVER seen a backwards sign on the door of a men’s room. I’m curious about which men’s rooms Victor has been patronizing.
Oh let me tell you, it gets worse! They have signs like that here in TX at Saltgrass Steakhouse. My poor grandfather whi has Alzheimer’s went to the restroom, and after a while when he didn’t come back my mom stared getting concerned. About 20 minutes later he came back to the table. When asked what happened to him he said, “I went to the restroom, after I washed my hands I saw the sign on the door said Ladies. I was so scared that I went in the wrong bathroom. After a while I decided I would just run out!” He thought he was going to walked in on by a woman. Poor guy!!
In a local ‘authentic’ German restaurant, there is one (unisex) door to the bathroom. When you walk through it, you see individual stalls marked MEN and WOMEN. The sinks & mirrors are communal, along with all sounds and smells. If that’s what restrooms are like in Germany, I’ll stay here in the US, thanks.
I hate the unisex bathrooms in some places.
Men’s room, ladies room…. I suppose as long as there’s individual stalls, it isn’t a big deal.
Not gonna lie, I always liked the idea of the unisex bathroom on Ally McBeal.
Yes, I have used the men’s when the women’s was busy too. I didn’t want to wait a huge line. What a weird sign if it really were in the women’s bathroom.
I still second guess myself when I walk into the bathroom at work, even though I’ve been using it multiple times a day for almost three years. #crazypants
I have a photo a friend took of me in my 20’s proudly exiting a porta potty, with the door to the other porta potty clearly labeled “Women”.
Damn that cheap liquor.
That is so not even right. Wow That would mess me up for sure. Pretty sure I would be stuck in the bathroom afraid to walk in on someone if I left. So confused. Just. Wow.
Yes, but what does it say backwards on the door of the men’s room? gurls?
Hint, if you see urinals, you are probably in the wrong bathroom.
At The Supperclub in Amsterdam they have Homos and Heteros on the doors. As a straight female I get to share my loo with the straight males.
I’m seeing a new brand of adult diapers for your shop!! For when you never go into a bathroom again!
I once went to a very nice pub in Edinburgh with my family. When I went to the bathroom, there was one of those vending machines that sell tampons or condoms or lip gloss.
This one sold inflatable sheep.
At least it’s not:
1) Duckface
2) In a Walmart Bathroom
3) You’re not doing the obligatory ‘sexy and I know it’ pose.
<3
You know what struck me the most about that entire post? The subject line. You were OUT. At a BAR. Granted, you did end up in the bathroom. But you said nothing about hiding in there with your Xanax. Way to go Jenny!!!!
(In all honesty, it’s a bar & grill. It’s like Applebee’s, but less fancy. ~Jenny)
I thought it said “Goys”. Whatcha gonna do wid dat?
And that wasn’t a sink, with a cake of soap in it, either.
If I’m somewhere with very few people, and the ladies room is occupied, I’ll use the mens room. No apologies. If someone questions it, I’ll just say I’m a tranny.
I have you beat. This weekend I went to a restaurant with correctly labeled bathrooms, but the area around the sink was mirrored. The problem was that the “mirror” behind the sink was actually a tinted window into the men’s room! So I looked up to see a guy and immediately had to spin around to check if he was behind me. Very funny to watch everyone’s reactions.
Unless you were squatting over a urinal, I think you were probably fine. Unless…were the other women in the rest room sporting Adam’s apples, and look really good in size 15 heels?
This is mindfucking me… which is probably the intention. I like to think you were in the women’s bathroom and someone has a messed up sense of humor. I would like to meet that someone… 🙂
my first thought on seeing the picture was “do they have a door between the two bathrooms?” that would be a bit weird. Maybe it’s warning you that you are about to leave the woman only sanctuary and enter the world of boys.
I hate it when I accidentally run into the men’s room — this sign would totally freak me out.
accidentally going into the mens room is one of my biggest fears. Seriously. Worse than spiders and snakes combined. If I saw that I would have run out of there and probably had a panic attack.
my favorite part: your furrowed brow. it says so perfectly, “the fuck???”
There is a place in Old Town Sacramento, we used to go there when I was a kid. I was afraid to go to the bathroom.. why you ask, on each door was a large painted hand pointing at the other door. On each hand was hung a sign, one said Women, one said Men… but.. WHICH DOOR? The one that was labeled, or the one it was pointing to??? NO THANKS! I’ll hold it!!
Happens to me all the time.
Guh a restaurant around here does that; trips me out every time.
I’ve been in many, many situations in my life when women I was with or didn’t even know insisted on going into the men’s room before me. Know how many men I’ve ever seen go into a women’s room, no matter how desperate? Zero! Trust me, a woman’s feelings about being in a men’s room are nothing compared to the sheer apoplectic terror men have of being caught in the ladies’ room.
OMG- I so needed this laugh today! ! Thank you Jenny!!!!!
P.S. I was in one of those restaurants with the deliberately switched signs once years ago. I’m still traumatized, and I suspect the fact that they went out of business a couple of years later may have had something to do with that, as it was actually a pretty popular place.
I’m kind of jealous at how great your skin looks. And if you ended up in the mens bathroom, eh, well, I think they’d enjoy it. 😉
A friend from Japan had to ask me once if she was a “doe” or a “deer”. She had an excuse….
I’m lying. She asked if she was a doe or a buck. She used the “a doe, a deer, a female deer” to help her solve her own puzzle haha!
What’s worse than accidentally going in the men’s? Walking in on a man that had accidentally gone into the women’s! Was quite awkward, to say the least!
There was a restaurant in my area that did the same trick. Even sneakier, they had the top half of the door as frosted glass (or what looked like frosted glass) so that when you saw “Ladies” written backwards on the glass you were _really_ convinced you had wandered into the wrong toilet by mistake.
Girl, you are adorable!
It’s a useful message for someone who is prone* to hiding in the bathroom: “If you want to meet boys, you’re going to have to leave this room.”
*Not literally. I mean, eeuw.
I went to the men’s room by mistake just this year. In my defense, I was at the surgery center waiting to have eye surgery so my sight wasn’t perfect. The embarrassing part was my utter disregard for all the clues: urinals, smell, fewer sinks. I was convinced I was in the ladies’ room until I walked out and faced the real ladies’ room door. Oh.
Sometimes you’ve just got to pee where ever you can find a hole…But I like their sense of humor 🙂
oh. oh no. drunk + questionable knowledge of which bathroom I selected = bad news bears. what a mean bar!
If that is all that happened that was “questionable”…then take it as a win.
That’s it. I’m going to start posting all the pictures of bathrooms I’ve taken online under the title “Dear John”.
they got to be just messing with you… why else would it be on the back of the door and printed backwards? not that i’m against messing with people.
Victor didn’t tell you that “girls” is on the inside door of the boys bathroom?
What else is he hiding from you?
You look so concerned in the photo! I love it!
Sounds like a typical Tuesday for me. Wait, what?
I once anonomously decorated a Taco Johns restroom with cute pictures of Chihuahuas. And I turned a pizza place potty from Blah to Princess. Never did reveal myself! Tee hee!
What’s wrong with the stick figure man and woman?
PS: That font is HORRID.
Fanny Anne’s in Old Sacramento – second floor – the women’s washroom had a sign saying men with an arrow to the left and the men’s room had a sign saying women with an arrow to the right.
When I went into the men’s room, I was in a hurry, no one was there, hit a stall and did my business. When I came out, the place was packed with men, and I got the overwhelming stink of warm pee.
There were people laughing at me when I came out of there.
Good times.
Hahahah! That’s so funny! I’m always so paranoid of accidentally going in the men’s room!
I have accidentally walked into MANY a men’s room, and I was never drunk. Not coincidentally, every time I’ve been drunk, I’ve managed to get into the correct bathroom. Lesson Learned: I need to refuse to use a public restroom sober. Probably for more reasons than listed above.
I ducked into the local recreation center bathroom just before zumba class started noting the young men smiles in my direction and sceptically believing it to be appreciation for my newly updated zumba attire. Rushing back out smiles were replaced with giggles and averted eye contact…glancing over my shoulder at them I saw the bathroom sign for women actually read for men. Well at least they let me go in privacy.
I see your “boys room” door and raise you a GODDAMN one way MIRROR over the urinal in a men’s room in The Green Flash restaurant on Captiva Island. You’re standing there, “doing your business”as they say, and there is a window overlooking some guy working at the prep counter chopping vegetables with a vicious looking cleaver. You can see him, but he can’t see you. OR CAN HE?!?!?! I never went to that establishment again.
Yes, totally
Yes, totally and completely unnerving. I feel as if I’ve lived through this with you. In fact was I there?
A Not An Exit sign would be hysterical! Can you imagine walking in on a bunch of drunk people looking for another door! I know my best friend who I love dearly would totally fall for it! She’d be in there until someone came looking for her! Hahaha
At a place called McGuires in Destin FL, the womens room says “This is not the MENs room, it’s the womens room” and all the words excepts MEN are tiny. SO unless you READ all the tiny words all you see is MEN. It’s so fucking stupid. As soon as you walk in there’s an additional swinging type door with a giant red sign that says “STOP! This is the womens room” also a florescent sign that says “LADIES ROOM” and other signs directing men OUT of there. The mens room is the same with a big WOMEN on the door. It is a great place though!! One of those “write your name on a dollar bill and hang it up” places. FANTASTIC food!!
This is the womens room” also a florescent sign that says “LADIES ROOM” and other signs directing men OUT of there. The mens room is the same with a big WOMEN on the door. It is a great place though!! One of those “write your name on a dollar bill and hang it up” places. FANTASTIC food!!