So, yeah…

in Random Crap

So I just turned in the first full draft of my next book and I’m simultaneously relieved, ecstatic and terrified (because that means the next step is editing, and editing is hard because all the usual voices in my head telling me that I’m shit turn into real voices from real people, although the voices of editors are much more kind and are more like, “This is great, but have you ever considered using commas?  Because most people find them quite nice.”

Regardless, the first giant hurdle is done and so it looks like the book will probably come out this year.  Yay!  And you should go buy the first one so you’ll better understand the second one, but I have to warn you that it’s confusing for most normal people so if you’re normal then maybe just read it in another language and then you’ll have a perfect reason to say why you don’t get it.  It comes out in Polish in a few months and I just saw the cover and there’s a bear on it.  And it’s a very nice bear and I was happy to approve it, but the weird thing is that I don’t actually remember a bear being in the book.  So basically I’m confused about my own book.  So now I know what other people feel like when they read me.

I’d put a picture here but I don’t know if I’m allowed to, so instead I’m going to put this gif of Hunter S. Thomcat and Ferris Mewler playing in an empty cardboard box.

unnamed

Subtitles:  “Come in here.”  “No.”  “Come in here.”  “NO.”  “GET THE SHIT IN HERE.”

Also, I have a ton of half-written posts that I never finished because I was distracted by procrastination and so now I’m going to try to write them all up, so you’re probably going to see a bunch of weird stuff that might make me seem more ADD and manic than usual, but it’s not a cry for help.  It’s sort of weird that I have to clarify that.

But (yay!) I’m finished with the book I’ve been writing for the last two years (for a few seconds at least) and to celebrate (and to thank you for sticking with me even when I go kind of crazy) I’m going to give away a few autographed copies of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened.  Just leave a comment and I’ll pick a few randomly.  Or if you don’t want my book I’ll send you a gift card and you can buy Allie’s.  It’s quite good.  Or you can read this one.  It’s made for kids but if you don’t read children’s or YA books you’re missing out on a lot of good shit.  Just saying.

1,439 thoughts on “So, yeah…”

Read comments below or add one.

  2. Hooray for the second book getting another step closer to being in my hands! I can’t wait to read it. 🙂

  5. CONGRATULATIONS! I can relate since I just finished mine, but I am still looking for a professional editor. I can’t wait to hand it off! The critique will come later. gulp

  7. Awesome. And congrats. 🙂 I’d love to hold a book your hand once touched!

  10. Yea! I’m so excited for the newest book to hit the shelf! Can’t wait to read it! You are awesome!

  12. Congrats on the book! I loved the first one. I had mentioned buying it to my sister and the next day it was waiting for me on my doorstep! Gotta love a sister who never questions your choice of reading material.

  13. Yay, you for finishing your second book!! I would love a signed copy of your book. I don’t think there is anyone who follows you who wouldn’t want your book.

    Cats and cardboard boxes = endless entertainment.

  15. Congrats on finishing book 2! I can’t wait to read it, you’re first book was like you were in my brain, no confusion here what-so-ever.

  16. You are awesome, as always! Can’t wait to read the new book. Last week I experienced a much darker spate of depression than I normally have and I used some techniques in some of your posts to cope…then I spent 2 hours poking through your Pinterest pages (and wherever else that took me), laughing my ass off.

    I guess I’m just trying to say–you make me smile, laugh and help with the real shit too. 🙂

  19. Congrats, I haven’t read the 1st one yet, but it’s bought and on top of the (physical) to read pile.

  20. Congratulations! As a journalist who is finding it hard to be motivated, I know how amazing it feels to finish!

  21. I can honestly say that you have helped me get through some serious shit in my life. I think you are fabulous and i <3 you. I cannot wait until your next book comes out!!!!! I am making a goal to go to a signing 🙂
    Allie’s book was awesome sauce as weel 🙂

  22. I can’t wait for the next one! Congratulations! Also would love to win an autographed version of the first one, let’s be honest.

  23. WOW! That’s great! I’m constantly writing a book in my head, but it never seems to make its way on to the paper! Can’t wait to read it.

  25. Congrats, you are done! I loved the first one and Allie’s book. Seeing you here on tour was also fantastic. I can’t wait till this one is out. Thanks for braving the critics and editors for us.

  29. Sigh. I still haven’t had a chance to wad the first one!

    Must go borrow it.

    🙂 congratulations!

  30. Such exciting news! I loved the first so much. Legit laughed to tears at some points. Cannot wait for the next one 🙂

  35. My kids are home for the 38947389247th snow day this year, and we’re trapped inside because it’s all nasty and icy out, and I feel like I’m slowly going completely insane … but I just thought you should know that the fact that you’re going to have a second book — and that it might even come out THIS YEAR — makes today infinitely more bearable somehow. So thank you.

  37. I haven’t gasp read your first book yet, so commenting in hopes of winning a copy! 😀 I kept hoping to make it to a tour stop and get my copy then, it just never happened.

  39. You linked to three awesome books in the post! What else is worth reading (other than your next book which I will have to wait for)?

  40. Let’s hear it for another round of giggling out loud like a lunatic whilre riding public transportation! Can’t wait for the new one.

  43. Congraulations! Your book is my husbands daily bathroom reader! 🙂

  44. Good job on turning in that draft! I still refer to your book as “the one that made me laugh so hard I almost died” to my husband. I can’t wait to read the next book!

  49. I just love the five minutes when the all encompassing Stuff is finished, before you replace it with even more stuff

    And also is love a book :p

  53. Books are the best things in the world. I’m o glad there is a second and that I can get my hands on it in less than 365 days. Commas are overrated. Also, March 16 is my 2 years without cutting so you should like party your socks off 🙂

  54. I would love a copy of your book. I’ve read it but I checked it out from the library so I would love a copy to loan to my friends and family (plus to read again myself).

  56. I am so excited about your next book! And I totally understood the first one. Actually, that’s a scary thought. Anyway, love your writing, your blog and, yes. Your neuroses.

  59. I have the kindle version of your book, but would love a hard copy… I like the smell of real books and tablets just can’t replicate it… maybe they should look into a “book smell” app… somebody invent that shit…

  60. HUGE fan from Mexico over here!

    I loved your book. It changed the way I thought about myself. It made me understand that life’s imperfections and weird moments are the ones that define who we are.

    I learned to embrace my imperfections, awkwardness, and crazy-ass weirdness and actually appreciate them.

    Thank you for everything!

  62. Oh my gosh, can’t wait for the next one and I’d love a signed copy of the first one!

  63. Huzzah!!!! And congratulation on finishing the second book : D. I am so looking forward to it!

  64. Yay! Congrats on sorta finishing the second book! Loved the first and am definitly looking forward to this one!

  66. Yay! I haven’t read your first book yet either. Stupid things like food and rent taking all my money.

  67. YEAH a 2nd book:) would love to have a hard copy of the first one:) i have the e-book and well it hurts my eyes:)

  69. please release the audio version at the same time… I can not read the written word.. my wife will think I am cheating!

  71. Please send me a copy… I had a hardcover but it was stolen because of awesome. It was too good, and my mom or my sister took it but they’re not talking so I’m suffering. Basically, it’s your fault I’m out the book so you kinda owe me.

  73. Can’t wait for the next book, I totally laughed until I cried while reading the first one! Happy to be “not normal” so I totally got it!

  75. HUGE congrats on finishing and turning in the book! Can hardly wait to read it! (I’m sure the editors just sprinkle commas on when you aren’t looking, anyway. Don’t sweat the commas. Me, I suck like a Dyson. Writing-wise, I mean. sigh I have to go now…)

  78. YAY! And here I am editing stories for my lit mag. I promise we editors try to be nice, and everything we say is us trying to make you look your absolute best. (Even if we get frustrated about the comma thing sometimes.) Congrats on the new book!

  79. I am pandering for an autographed copy of your book. I bawl every time I read it. It is tragic and hilarious. I have purchased copies and sent them to strangers on Twitter. I think you are a hero!

  81. I already own both your book and Allie’s, because you are both awesome sauce, but I haven’t yet read Kate DiCamillo’s newest (although I have read a few others of hers – Despereaux was so lovely).

    Congrats on finishing the draft of the new book.

  87. Congratulations on finishing the new book! Can’t wait to read it 🙂

  88. Ohhh, so excited for you that you finished your book…and can hardly wait to read it! Read your 1st book twice. 😀

  89. I’m so proud, and your publisher had a crazy awesome turnaround time if they can get it out this year. I can’t wait.

    Thank you for being so awesome, and I look forward to more hilarious things to read. 😀

  90. I have your first book by my bed, waiting for me to finish the one I am reading now. So if you pick me, I guess I will go with Allie’s. 🙂

  91. Bravo! Best wishes for gentle editing. (You can pay forward if I win–I own your book, and Allie’s). Thanks!

  94. Oh I’m so glad you are putting out another book. I need more things in my house that show the neighbors I’m weird.

  95. I chose your first book as my book club’s read-of-the-month in summer 2012. We laughed so hard we cried!! Can’t wait for the new one.

  98. Maybe the bear is referencing the fact that you ‘bear all’ in your book.
    Very exciting! And I feel for you on the editing bit. Or I would if I could find anyone to edit my stuff. I get all ready for the criticisms and then I just get a few comments about the tense I use and NOTHING USEFUL to make my writing readable.

  99. I would die if I was picked. Jenny, you are so amazing! My friend (ex friend now), STOLE my copy of your first book. I WANT IT BACK. She claims she doesn’t have it. Whore. Anyways, I’d love to win a signed copy, so if I see her next I can be all “oh yeah, I have a signed copy”, and when she says hers isn’t signed I can be all “AH HA, I knew you stole it!”. See, this needs to happen.

  100. cannot wait for the second book! I recommend the first one to everyone…when they are finished some of them look at me weird.

  101. Congrats! The editing process can be scary, but remember…YOU wrote a book – not everyone can do that.

  103. I already have a signed copy of your book, I just wanted to congratulate you. WOOHOO!! Go Jenny, you did it! Congratulations!

  106. Congratulations on completing your book! I am in awe of anyone who can write a book! I feel like if I wrote my life story people would be nodding off after the first page or two, maybe sooner. But I suppose that it could be a good marketing gimmick. You know, something like “Having trouble sleeping?! Well we have got a cure for you! Read Lyn’s book! We guarantee that you will be sleeping like a baby in no time!”. I find my life story fascinating and often relive moments and think about what I should have done or said differently. Come to think of it, perhaps that is how I torture myself.

  108. Congratulations! (I tend to make epic typos, and I originally typed conratulations, which also seems appropriate, somehow…)

  110. Big Congrats for getting this far, and can’t wait to see your random posts… 🙂

  111. Poor Ferris Mewler. Orange cats can be soooo mean, just ask my two non-orange cats.

  112. I’d love a copy of your book. I think of you as being Junie B. Jones for grown ups. Or those of us pretending to be grown ups.

  114. Congratulations!! I’m STILL struggling with finishing my first…damn nasty internal editor. Sigh. Can’t wait to pick up the new one…I’ll have to re-read Let’s Pretend in the meantime. 🙂

  115. Yay, you! Glad I’m not the only adult who enjoys my kids books. My DD and I read Flora & Ulysses aloud, parts of it made me tear up. Love me some Kate DiCamillo. Also Mo Willems– I am sad that my DD is too old for his target audience, but we always read his new books whne they come out anyway because hs makes us giggle. Plus we NEED to find the pigeon. Allie’s book was great, too.

    Can’t wait to read your new book!

  117. Can’t wait for the next one!!!! When can it be pre-ordered? I have you first, but would love an autographed copy!

  122. Editing sucks for most people so don’t sweat that. Your voice will shine through, and copy editors are often geniuses, and we love you so it’s all going to be okay. Pinky-swear!

  123. Yay! I’m doing a victory dance with you…only, it’s in my head, because I can actually dance in my head, but not so much for real. Anyway, can’t wait to read it!

  124. YAY! for finising your book! I look forward to reading it. I love your first book. I’ve also read Allie’s and I agree, it’s great. Now I’m all interested in the other book listed! It looks like something I MUST have.

  127. Congratulations! But I’m still biting my thumb in wonder over “itchy cat nipples.”

  128. I am super eager to read this new one because now possibly I might be able to catch you on this book tour instead of being dumb and missing it for work again.

  130. Way to go!! It is awesome that you are done and yes editing can be annoying, but you wrote it. That is a lot more than most people have done!

  131. I’m fortunate enough to have a copy of your book with a bookplate you signed for me when you were in PDX. But I’d sure love a copy of Allie’s!! Funds are right right now, or I’d have bought it already.

    Woohoo on finishing book 2!!

  133. Currently I spend my days reading dating profiles and re-writing them for Match.com. I’d love to win a copy of your book because even though the profiles often give me a laugh, it’s not a pee-pants laugh, it’s more of a, “oh bless your heart, sir or ma’am, I can’t believe you actually put that in your profile,” kind of laugh. Make me laugh the good kind of laugh again, Jen!.

  134. What a freaking awesome accomplishment, again!
    I’d rather you autograph a cat and send it to me but a book would be the next best thing.

  138. Congratulations! Really looking forward to your new book. Allie Brosh’s is in the same galaxy of awesomeness.

  141. Congrats on your book! I absolutely loved the first one (and it is my go-to for gifts for people) and am so excited for your next one to come out! 🙂

  143. I have to admit I’ve already purchased and read your first book and I cannot wait for the second one!! Would love to have a signed copy for my bookshelf though, I only have the digital version currently. Love you! 😀

  145. I would love one before it comes out in Polish with another strangely disturbing animal on the cover:)

  146. Can’t wait to read your next book. Try not to doubt yourself. We all think we write shit. And we may even think it’s shit after it’s published. But other people don’t. So, there’s something. Congratulations!

  148. I bet you get a million comments from people wanting a copy of your book. I already have a copy – but I would love an autographed copy!

  149. Yay! Good for you! I can’t wait to read it. Let’s Pretend This Never Happened helped me out on so many bad days.

  150. I would love an autographed copy of your first book and can’t wait to read the second. Congratulations finishing the first draft!

  153. Fantastic! Congrats! I have a well loved copy of Let’s Pretend, but it is always out on loan to someone in my family :). I would love a copy to selfishly keep on my bookshelf!

  154. Yea! A new book! Please pick me to receive LPTNH because I am the biggest procrastinator and I’m too poor to buy one.
    (Not really poor. More like a horrible liar.)

  155. Congratulations! I look forward to reading the second book when it comes out!

  156. I’m going to buy your book a fourth time. My hardcopy keeps getting loaned out then inexplicably is missing.
    So then I got it from amazon, but i need a copy with the extra chapter cuz sometimes I’m ocd like that.
    On your next book, please do a sighning in Tucson AZ. I promise I’ll ditch work to be there.

  160. Just finished your first book, found out I exist in a world where there are other people like me. Most appreciated.

  161. I think you need a tee shirt in your shop that says “I’m sorry but I was distracted by procrastination”. I’d buy it. Oh and your next book, too sweetie because you are the bomb!

  164. Yay! Good for you! I can’t wait to read it. Let’s Pretend This Never Happened got me through so many bad days.

  165. Funny you should mention a bear. I just finished reading the chapter in your book when you talk about your miscarriages and the wonderful birth of Hailey, when you talk about what the doctor would find during your first ultrasound and you mention the baby being twins, triplets, a Republican or A SMALL BEAR! There you go. THAT explains the bear on the Polish book cover.

  166. I was at a discount store the other day and saw a frisbee that had a phallus on it and wanted to buy it for u but figured that’d be super weird or maybe Victor might get super jealous cuz it was a pretty big phallus. Maybe it was a banana but it totally looked like a phallus. Either way you should be totally stoked that you were the first person i thought of when i saw the banana phallus frisbee.

  167. Oh my! You are on a roll today! I seriously talk about you and Beyonce (the chicken) on a weekly basis. It is now how me and the lady I order office supplies from start all of our conversations. Congrats on the step forward on your new book!!

  168. SO EXCITING!! I’m gonna make my work book club read it when it comes out. (I work with awesome people.)

  170. How exciting! Congratulations on finishing the second book! I haven’t read your first one yet, so I would love to win a copy of it!

  171. I can’t wait to keep my husband awake with my cackling laughter when I read your second book, like I did when I read your 1st!
    Congratulations, Jenny! <3

  172. Yayyyy! So excited for the book to come out. The editors may be scary, but in the end it is all worth it. Just remember, you are awesome & nobody can take that away. 🙂

  178. Congrats on the second book being almost ready to be printed! That is awesome! 🙂

    (It’s so, so far from ready to be printed. But with a few months of editing, deleting and rewriting…fingers crossed. 🙂 ~ Jenny)

  181. Your first book is like you took my voice out of my head and wrote it down. That probably scares you. It scared me at first, but now I feel pretty good about it, because it’s like I have a twin who does not know that I exist. Only, sometimes I wonder if everyone feels that way about your writer’s voice and so maybe I don’t have a twin, only an author that I like and identify with. My husband refuses to change his name to Victor and that’s probably good because it would be a little creepy. Anyway – I cannot wait to read the new book! By the way, I read your first book to my children. I know – adult language, but they know that I cuss and they cuss in the house just not outside of the house (ok, in the car, too). They loved it!

  183. “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” is on my list of FAVORITE books of all time! I’ve been a voracious reader for over 50 years and I laughed so much when I read that book that I had to switch to water-proof mascara because the tears were staining my face! When I read your blog I can picture every character in your life because your writing is THAT GOOD!

  186. YAY! I’m so excited for the new book!!! It shall be wonderful I’m sure 🙂

  187. There IS a bear. It’s a dead bear raised up out of the way on a table. I may or may not have read your book a thousand times…

  189. I’m leaving a comment even though I am pretty sure you wouldn’t post to Australia. But I just wanted to let you know the first piece of yours I read was the one where you bought the bear head and I laughed so hard I had to close my office door because I’m a school counsellor and I was afraid they might have thought I’d lost my mind, in there by myself cackling with tears rolling down my cheeks. You funny.

  190. Yay! A new book- I need more pee my pants humor in my life right now 🙂

  191. Well done, lady! Way to hit a major milestone. I would luuuuuurve a signed copy of yer book if you see fit to give one to me. 😀

  192. Can’t wait for the second book, the first one has now been recommended to every person that mentions, even vaguely, that they read in any form. A signed copy would be amazing! Also, apologies on behalf of Canada for all the hassle coming to talk to us in Winnipeg last month. i know we had nothing to do with it, but apologizing is part of our cultural heritage. We can’t help it.

  194. Congratulations! (And I’m really looking forward to reading that.)

    I already have your first book, and even though it’s not signed, if I should win, please just send it to somebody who really needs a good laugh. But sign it to me anyway, I hear that’s nearly traditional by now…

  196. Ooooo sweet. I had your book on my Kindle and then my Kindle tried to die a horrible death and when I brought it back to life, all my books were gone. It made me super sad because I hadn’t had a chance to read your’s yet.

  197. Congratulations that is so awesome. I loved the first book and now I’m actually wondering why I don’t have a copy. It made me want to read random excerpts to people on the streets 🙂

  199. Congrats on finishing your second book. I read your blog faithfully and it always puts a smile on my face. So, thank you! 🙂

  200. So the voices in our head turn into real people? Damn, there goes my magnum opus for another 30 or so years.

    Congratulations!! I hope you know how much you rock.

  201. Congratulations on finishing your book! Just remember:do Hemmingway said the first draft of anything is shit, so if it’s shit, you’re on the right track! 🙂

  202. Yay new book! I should really go get a copy of your current one, it’s just painful trying to get decent stuff where I live and postage is a bitch.

  203. Yay!!! Congratulations on finishing the new book! Can’t wait to read it!

  209. I agree that YA books have a lot of good shit. Anyway, leaving a comment because I am very much in need of a copy of your book, so this is impetus for you to pick me (ooh ooh, pick me, pick me!). Of course, should you not pick me, I’ll probably buy a copy anyway because a) I want to read it and 2) I’m going on vacation soon and love to take good books with me on vacations. The fact that I’m going to buy it even if you don’t send me one shouldn’t be an incentive for you not to send me one, though!

  210. Congratulations on finishing your second book! I haven’t yet read the first but I definitely plan to!

  211. My husband bought me your first book for Christmas and I think it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever had the pleasure of reading. I seriously read whole chapters out to him! To be honest it’s gotten us through some tough times lately so for that I’d like to say thank you ( things still aren’t great btw so please hurry up with the next book).

  213. Ohh . . . a signed copy – that would be awesome. Do you think Hunter S. Thomcat would sign it too?

  214. Can’t wait to read the new book. My mom gave me your first one which is awkward and awesome all at the same time!

  219. Well done on finishing your second book!! I’ve read your first book so I am a fan and I’ll definitely be reading your new one when it is published. Also thanks for brightening up my day and making me feel like I’m not alone in my abnormality.

  221. Dearest Bloggess,

    I am amazed that you wrote a second book!!! I am working on my Masters, I also work as an RN, and I too, am a tad crazy… I never bought your book because I feel GUILTY reading anything but school work, but your blog keeps me going, THANK YOU!!!! much love and even more success!!! bun

  222. Congratulations! One (big humongous gigantically important) step down!

  223. LOVED “Let’s Pretend this Never Happened”!!! Got the audio version and hearing it read by you made reading your blog even better! Can’t wait for book number 2!

  224. Hooray!! I’m so proud of you for finishing another book, and I can’t wait to read it!

  225. I only just discovered you a few months ago, and because of that I have not yet experienced “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened”. So I have to say Congrats!
    and editing shouldn’t be too traumatic!

  226. Wasn’t there a picture of a bear your dad was working on that was elevated to the roof of a garage on the book?

  227. I lent my copy of Lets Pretend to a friend and I don’t know if I will ever get it back. Please pick me! And I can’t wait to read your new book!

  228. Woohoo! I’m so excited for your next book. I was in Vegas with my family, and I brought your book to share, but when my sister tried to take it home I told her she would have to be REALLY careful, since you had signed it. She decided instead to just buy it herself. I’ll have to check out Flora & Ulysses. My son is a huge reader and would probably appreciate it, thanks 🙂

  231. Good for you Jenny-can’t wait! I go to the library several times a week (sometimes for books/sometimes to pick up my teens who are “studying” with their girlfriends). Each time I’m there, I discreetly take your book off the shelf, walk over to their fancy-shmancy display case, and remove whatever it is they want the good folks of NH to read, and I place your book on the pedestal where it belongs. You’re the best

  232. I love both your and Allie’s books! I always look forward to a new post from you so having a new book will be awesome.
    Congrats on getting the first draft out! Is it kind of like packing… You know how you are so organized when you start and everything is in a box properly labeled and by the end you are just wanting to be done so you are throwing all kinds of leftover crap into boxes labeled “miscellaneous” and you’ve no idea what you are going to find when you open it? I’ve never written a book, but I think that is how I’d feel.

  234. I love(d) your book!!! It granted me many odd looks on a flight to Atlanta and then back when it first came out. I feel like I should book a flight just so can I repeat the experience with book #2 – any suggestions?

  236. Congratulations! I can’t wait to read the second book! I loved the first one and recommend it regularly.

  238. Congratulations! You should give me a signed copy of your book, because I only have an Ebook version of it and how can you sign on of those?

  239. It’s kind of awesome that it’s coming out in the same year, you know?

  240. Ooh, pick me, me, me, me! I don’t have your first book yet – I read the library copy.

  241. Congratulations! I’m not sure what would be scarier: book one or book two!
    From a reading perspective, I can’t wait 🙂

  243. Yay!!! Congrats! Would LOVE and autographed copy! Also, keep lil old Spokane WA, in mind when it’s time to book tour! Be fun to have you visit up this way!!!

  245. This is how I found your book. I got a Kindle and was browsing biographies cause that”s what I like to read. Your book popped up. I liked the title and the Mouse with the cape so I bought it. Best thing ever. I told my Sister and Cousins about it. They all wanted to borrow it. But its on a Kindle so i cant do it. A few months passed and my son came home for a visit. I was telling him about this great book I read by Jenny Lawson. Of course he was only half listening to me as twitter had his attention. So I’m telling him about your conversations with Victor. Me….Victor….Me…..Victor. Well, he stopped dead in his tracts and said “Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess? I said “yea, that’s what I have been saying”. He showed me a photo taken at the farewell party of The Best Show on WFMU. Someone gave him a framed stained glass mouse with a cape. He said it was your book cover. My son is @betheboy

  247. Nothing — NOTHING IN THE WORLD, and yep, that includes orgasms, the miracle of birth, and the discovery of salt caramels — has ever felt better to me than finishing the first draft of my first book. It was the sweetest moment I’ve ever known. And now I, too, am working on my second. I hope yours is a rollicking success! Congratulations, Jenny, and so much aloha to you.

  248. Yay for the new book! If you happen to select me to receive the signed copy of the first one, I will treasure it always. I will hug it and squeeze it and call it George. Er….

  249. Congrats! I enjoy your stream of thought posts. It is how my brain is working lately. My mantra is…don’t let you head explode!

  251. please pick me! my friends love your book and I haven’t read it yet…..

  253. Congratulations on your accomplishment!!! I’d love to have a copy! I’ve checked it out three times from the library already. lol

  255. Thank god!! While waiting for book 2 I started incessantly rereading book 1, it has slowly become an increasingly obvious problem.. Congratulations! Can’t wait 🙂

  256. Oh sweet merciful spaghetti monster, please let me win an autographed copy of this book! It felt like the Rosetta Stone of life, or at least made me feel less alone in my very busy brain! Notice I didn’t say productive, just very, very busy ;D
    Either way I will still be buying the new one, because I need it!
    Thanks and good luck with the editing

  257. Can your second book just come out now?! On second thought, my thesis is due the first week in April. CAN IT COME OUT IN APRIL?!?!?!?!

  259. Congrats on turning in your first draft! I can’t wait to read it when it comes out. The first is definitely a favorite of mine. I bought an ecopy, but I would love a hard copy because I recommend it to everyone, but don’t have a way to lend it to them.

  262. Just wondering,Jenny, if you put a giant cardboard box over your desk and computer, you and the cats might be way more productive.

    Or maybe that’s a really bad idea.

    I am not sure, which.

    But I did use a comma, so there’s that..

  263. You want to give me the book. (Mainly because I can find out where you live and I’m not above doubling the number of giant metal chickens in your yard.) (Or maybe I should say I will double the number of giant metal chickens in your yard IF you give me the book?) (Just pretend I only said whichever one of those increases my chances.)

  264. Yay!!! Cannot wait for the second book. Congrats for getting the first draft turned in, that’s huge. Thanks for giving a voice to all us weird people.
    I won’t mind a signed copy… That is if you pick me 🙂

  267. Congratulations! Can’t wait to read it. Your last book made me laugh by balls off!

  268. W00T for another book!! I already have yours and Allie’s too, but they need companions!! Editing sucks donkey butt, but you’ll get through!

  271. I can’t wait for the new release! I would love a copy of your book…well, ANOTHER copy as my brother “borrowed” mine and it seems he’s adopted it now.

  272. Yay for the new book. You have no idea how your crazy book stopped me from thinking I was crazy. Thank God you were recommended to me!!

  273. Congratulations! (I almost forgot to leave a comment being so utterly distracted by the wonderful cat gif. Hehehe)

  277. congratulations!!!! i would be so psyched to win your book. i enjoy your blog so much!

  278. Congrats on finishing the book! I can’t wait to read it – wonder if it’s too early to preorder?
    Also, “GET THE SHIT IN HERE” about made me shoot Coca-Cola out my nose. I love you & your ADD manicness. Is that a word? Well, it is now. Look what you made me do. 😉

  280. congratulations! and I would love a copy of the first book to have and to hold 🙂

  282. I’m commenting in the vain hope you pick me. Then I will keep the autographed copy and give my dad my current copy with the turned down corners and chocolate stains.

  283. Pick me! I’d love an autographed copy! You’re the best. And you’re still the best even if I don’t get picked.
    🙂
    xoxo

  285. Hooray! I have your first book on my kindle. Every now and then I go back to it and just read a chapter because it makes me smile. Can’t wait to read the next one!!!

  286. I am absolutely usually a lurker, but for the possibility of winning an autographed copy of your book, I’m coming out of the shadows! It’s totally worth revealing myself! I mean that in a clean, wholesome way.

  287. YAY NEW BOOK! I’m so excited for you! I’m excited for me, too, because now there’s going to be another awesome book to read!

    Just generally excited over here.

  288. Wow there are a shitton of people who commented and must really want your book. Like Me. Joining in happily on the bandwagon!

  291. Congrats!!!
    I’d love a copy of your book! Especially since I haven’t read it yet. I do promise to read it. Eventually. It will just happen faster if you send me one. 😉

  292. Congratulations!!! What a great feeling of success that will probably last for 5 minutes.
    I’ve read Allie’s book, so I think it just make sense that yours is up next. Please. Pretty please. With taxidermy on top.

  295. I love your site and book. Every time I’m down or having a very bad day I read your site makes me smile and feel like I’m not alone. Thank you.

  297. Congrats! I loved your first book (and Hyperbole and a Half), so I’m looking forward to the next one! =)

  298. So excited about a new book from you!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ve read the first one at least 5 times so far. Congrats!

  301. So excited!!! Thank you. When your books come out it makes my holiday shopping so much easier. EVERYBODY gets a copy. 😀

  305. Kate DiCamillo = awesomeness. I cannot tell you how many times I’ve read her Mercy Watson books to my daughter. Let’s just say it was over and over, and over.

  306. I have your first book — loved it! I am excited to read the second book. I would still like to win because, really, who doesn’t like to win?

  308. I really want to win a copy of your book. My birthday is tomorrow and your book would rock as a bday present. Just saying!

  309. Congratulations on the new book and I would love a copy of your first one!

  310. Sometimes I think commas are wholly unnecessary. At least that’s what I tell myself when I write…
    You oughta write kid books. Fewer need for commas.
    Editing is the easy part, truly. You’ve forged your way through the rough stuff. Now you get to have other people do all the work and tell you what to do. That’s SO much easier than having to do stuff on your own. But I just fired my editor, so maybe I need to go back and read up on commas…
    And back away from the coffee…

  311. If I could pick anyone to hide in a bathroom with, it would be you. I’ll settle for hiding in a bathroom with your book, though.

  313. I can’t wait for your second book. It will be another book club classic for sure.

  315. I haven’t even quite finished the first book, but I’m already pooping with sheer excitement for the second. Should people poop from excitement? I don’t know. Probably not. But if I won an autographed copy, I’d probably give the copy I already own to the less fortunate. I.E. my coworkers who need some goddamn humor to slide the sticks out of their asses. Is that too far? I don’t know.
    Good luck with editing. I’m immensely happy that your first book sounded so real. Don’t let them stiffen your natural voice – yours works just fine. Keep shining, Jenny. The world needs more you.

  316. Can’t wait to have the newbook in my hot little hands! Just so you know…Ioved your first one so much that I bought 4 copies of it…and spread those across 3 different countries (US, Canada and New Zealand).

  318. I would LOVE a copy of your book! I think it’s been on a number of birthday/Christmas wish lists and still has not made it into my hands. I should really just go buy it, but an autographed copy is sooooo much better.

  319. “it’s confusing for most normal people”

    It’s a good thing that I strive to be normal as infrequently as possible. I find it very boring.

    I know what you mean about those voices in your head though. I have them too. They’re constantly telling me that I’m horrible at everything I do (web development, parenting, being a spouse, being a fully functioning adult, acting normal when I have to, etc.). I know that the voices are just lying and I resist them. There are times when it oddly feels “comforting” to give in to the voices and that’s when they are at their most dangerous. Sometimes it helps to mentally give the “voice” form and then kick it out of my head – bonus points for hurting the voice in the process. (Does that last sentence not sound normal? Good. See paragraph 1. 😉 )

  321. I am looking forward to reading BOTH of your books since I already love reading all your posts!

  323. I can’t wait to read your next book! But, I’d be really happy to get an autographed copy of your first masterpiece. 🙂

  324. I’d looooove a copy of your book. Been wanting to read it forever. Good luck with editing!

  325. I’m excited that step one is done!

    In other news, I regularly get taxidermy photos showing up in my news feed and want to send them to you. The most recent was of one squirrel giving another squirrel a tattoo.

  327. I totally need a hardcopy of your book! I bought the Kindle Edition and I love it, but I need the hardcopy. NEED it.

  328. Oohhh pick me! Pick me!! I love your writing and Allie’s too! Congratulations on your second book! All my exclamations seem like i’m shouting a bit, but I did avoid typing in all caps.

  329. Congrats on finishing book #2! I want yours, I already have Allie’s…

  331. Too impatient to read all the comments but there was a bear in your last book.

  332. Can we vote for others to get an autographed copy of your book?

    I have an (un-autographed) version, and apparently will be buying the Hyperbole and a Half before days end (because it looks hysterical), and your new one as soon as they are done commafying it.

    If we can, I nominate Aileen House because her Rosetta Stone comment made my day. 🙂

    (Congrats on finishing your book!!!!)

  333. Congrats on your completion of the first big hurdle. Can’t wait to read book 2.

  334. I tend to overuse commas. Very, very badly. But you finishing your book gives me hope and motivation to finish mine. Although, mine will probably end up in free pile on Amazon… but it will be finished. And I can try another one, b/c why not? Congrats on finishing your book and for being a wonderful role model for writers! 🙂

  336. I just spent an honest to goodness 15 minutes plus watching the video. I almost didn’t finish reading the post. Some of my viewing time was spent wishing my cats would play together instead of plotting the other’s death, some was spent wondering if Ferris relented and dove in willingly or if Hunter pulled him in, and obviously I spent a great deal of it reading the subtitles in my head in what I assume are Ferris Mewler and Hunter S. Tomcat’s voices. But mostly I just giggled like an idiot. Thank you, I needed that today!

  337. I’ve been stuck in my house for three days with my kids…OK, the first day we weren’t stuck, but if I’d KNOWN then that we were going to be stuck inside the next two days I’d have gotten the heck out of my house when I had the chance. So a 2nd book is awesome news. So would a pizza delivery driver being able to make it up my ice-encrusted driveway, but I’ll take what I can get.

  341. Can’t wait for the 2nd book! Crossing my fingers that Columbus, OH ends up on your book tour list this time!! CONGRATS!! 🙂

  342. Congrats on finishing your 2nd book – I’d love to read your first one!

  343. I’d like a new copy. I loaned mine out a number of times and now I can’t remember who has it and don’t want to look like a fool asking everyone I know if they have it and if they don’t and never did then I will look like I’m off my nut which I am but I do like to feign some dignity.

  344. Yea! Congrats. Can’t wait to read your new book. Your first was beyond brilliant, especially the third time!!!

  350. I love your cats! I can just see them saying everything that was subtitled. . .

  352. Yay for finishing this step!

    In other news, I regularly get taxidermy photos showing up in my news feed and want to send them to you. The most recent one is a squirrel giving a tattoo to another squirrel.

  355. I read your book out loud to my 12yo when she was sick and trapped on the couch (with a tiny of mom editing) and we both laughed our butts off. We’d love a signed copy!

  356. Also, my iPad finished my comment before I corrected my name. Who has a name of “Amp”? Not me,

  359. love it i read your blog all the time 😉 your cat reminds me of jack my cat ( his name is Jack the Kitty King ) cant wiatto read your book

  360. Looking forward to the new book. It must feel at least little good to have it “done.”

  361. I’m hoping this book also discusses colon cleanses because I’m always looking for a good one. Alexander McCall Smith went on and on about one in a recent book but he didn’t give any practical information like you did, so I’m struggling here.

    P.S. I also try reading glasses on at CVS and pretend to look a little more like a librarian. Sometimes I regret having Lasik because I really enjoy lowering the glasses and staring at people in a way that says “you plebeians, I am so much smarter than you.” In the end, I put them on my dog and she manages to convey the exact same thing.

  363. I am so excited for your second book!!! Please put up the link to the preorder as soon as you know it. Congrats on getting it done!

  364. I have been waiting for your new book for a year and a half I laughed out loud so many times it was silly. My kids thought I was nuts till I read it to them. They were 13/15 at the time. I’ve lent the book out to everyone who reads. They all love it, but I lost it. It was never returned. Hmm I still have my kindle edition, but its not the same. I so cant wait for your new book. Love your blog. Love you. Love Victor. Love Hailey. Hunter S Tomcat too. and Feris Mewler. And Beyonce. I am a very dedicated Canadian Fan who wants you to come to Edmonton Soon Pretty please? West Edmonton Mall is great! not alot of taxidermy though. Sorry Pretty Please?

  366. Hey, congrats! The second book is always harder to complete than the first.

  368. You are awesome 🙂 and I’m not just saying that because I want a book…..or am I ? …. no I’m really not. Honest.

  369. It’s huge that you can send them out – your work I mean… I have a pile of stuff and only 1/2 has been read by other people because of the terror of letting it go and getting bad reviews of it. I know, sad but it’s why some of my stuff has been web-published vs taking the courage by the horns and trying to send it out.

    Congrats to you! Seriously…. congratulations!

    M

  370. I actually know where the bear was in your book. Your dad had one on a table hanging from the garage ceiling. Oh, and the thing about polar bears being unwelcome guests at dinner parties. I was just listening to that part in the car. I can’t wait for the second book!!

  371. Congrats. THere’s nothing like typing the end to make your whole day bright. A week even.

  373. I already own your book (pre-ordered the ebook version) and loved it! But I’d absolutely love to have a signed real copy also!!

  376. Pick me dammit. I pre-bought the Kindle Edition and have read it a dozen times, I have made all my friends buy hard copies and gifted a few to those who wouldn’t succumb to my peer pressure. That and I adore you…in the least creepy way possible. I mean I wouldn’t dream of sending you, say, an In-humanely taxidermied unicorn or anything. I even have a red dress to donate to the cause!!!

    xo,
    Alyssa

  377. Amazing!! Congratulations on getting it done. What a huge accomplishment, especially while trying to juggle life and hunting for dead shit—–um— I mean stuffed animals. 🙂

  379. Congrats on finishing the book. And if you haven’t read Aileen House’s comment (I think it’s right above mine. Comment #238, regardless), you should and she should get a book. She referenced both the Spaghetti Monster AND the Rosetta Stone. She is one of us.

  380. I bought your book, hardcover no less. But i may have to have my jaw wired and that is far more important cuz that is worse than all this shit combined. And you know Jenny, I’m a serious foodie. I shudder to think. Your friend, Laurie F. ps wish me luck. oh, and my kidneys are failing too. Life sucks and then, more snow is coming. Xanax is not covering this.

  381. OMG your cats 😀

    Also; congratulations on the book! I’d give you a Cookie, but 1: I can’t make cookies, it always turns into a disaster, and 2: we’re on different continents. I don’t think they let you ship cookies like that. But if they did, I’d send you a piece of whatever I manage to bring to work in my birthday next week. Honestly, it’s my birthday an I have to do the work? Djeez.

  382. EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! can not wait for your second book! I gave half my family and all of my friends copies of your first book. Congrats!

  384. Oh shit, and now I feel bad because I totally forgot to say CONGRATULATIONS on getting it done!!!! I can’t wait to pre-order that one too!!

  385. Now it looks like the blog has eaten my comment which was that there is a bear in your first book and I am too impatient to read all the comments and see if anybody already said that. Now I have to go back to gluing fringe to my husband’s old suit coat for his Mardi Gras costume.

  386. I am a voracious reader and have your book on my list of books I need to buy. I’d take a copy of your book, Allie’s book, books you have laying around the house, whatever!

  387. Go you!! I would adore an autographed copy of your book. Today is my eighth wedding anniversary and that would be the best gift ever. 😀

  388. Congrats on finishing your book. I think anyone who says they don’t want your autographed book that they won on your blog is not a very nice person

  389. Pick me, please. Love you and your book. <3 And I’m a writer too, so I relate. Maybe I’ll even send you a copy of mine for your awesome daughter!

  390. Woohoo! Congrats on finishing book 2 for now 🙂 I loved the first one & can’t wait for the second.

  391. Congrats on finishing your book! Would love an autographed copy of the first one!

  392. I can count on you to bring a smile to my face – some days more than others. Thank you and congrats!

  393. Congratulations! It must be nice to have a short break between writing and editing.
    I always love/hate going back to half written posts to try to figure out what the hell my point was going to be.

  394. HOOOOOORAY! I’m totally popping a bottle of $7 champagne. Y’know. In your honor. I mean, as a reader, it’s basically my DUTY AS A GOOD CITIZEN TO DRINK IT ALL, JENNY.

  395. I can’t wait to read your new book! Your writing has given me a lot of laughs at a time when I’ve needed them the most. I would love a copy of your first book. I gave mine away, but the good news is, it has made the rounds and made several people happy.

  397. Congratulations! What an achievement! I would love to have a copy of the first book!!!

  398. Yay!!!!!! Can’t wait!!!
    I borrowed the first one from the library…I believe I was the first one to borrow it, having put it on hold before they got their copy. But I’d love to have my own copy of your first one and of course will get the 2nd as well!

  399. I think it ate my last comment which was simply: EEEEEEEEEEEEEE! So excited to read your next book! I gave my friends and family copies of your book for Christmas. Congrats!!

  400. Congratulations! And also, YES to YA. Started reading my children’s books when they were young so I would know what they were putting into their brains; now my youngest is 17 and it is awesome to be able to have these conversations about books.

  401. Yay! Can’t wait to read your next book and I would love a copy of your first book.

  402. thrilled to know another book is on the horizon!! Jenny you are amazing!! I love love loved your 1st book and gave copies to all of my friends. Your shares about RA & depression are so helpful to me & other readers that similarly from both.

  404. I already have two copies of the hardcover but saw that the soft bound has a new chapter so I would love to have a copy of that <3

  405. Yay! I’m so excited for you. I suck at finishing things. So I know how awesome it feels to finish something. I’m so excited to read your next book!

  406. The promise of your new book this year just made my day! Sending hugs and happy thoughts to help you through the editing process. Yay, you!

  407. I cannot wait to read the new book! My husband thought I was crazy when I read the last one, due to my laughing out loud with tears streaming down my face. I loved it!

  408. Thank goodness! I was diagnosed with cancer in August and a friend promptly sent me a copy of your first book. I’ve been laughing my head off ever since. Although the funniness holds up on the 8th read, I’m eventually going to need some new material to read to the infusion nurses. Thank goodness there’s a new book on the way!

  409. Yay! You get to do the “I’m done dance.” It goes however you want, so long as you revel in the doneness of the thing that you did. You must FEEL the done. Also, “Fortunately, the Milk.” Genius of which I am sure you approve.

  410. I’m pretty excited for you new book…because I laughed out loud a ton at your first one and who doesn’t need that?

  411. Bravo, Jenny! and thanks for taking the time and blood and sweat and tears to pour out all the words that will some day reach us and give us a good firm hug or spank or high five or etcetera as the case may be. xo

  412. Your cats cracked me up. And I don’t like cats. Maybe it was your subtitles. Congrats on finishing book 2!

  413. I can’t wait for your second book! An autographed copy of the first would tide me over nicely in the meantime, though. I’m sure a bunch of other people said that already, but I’m two-hundred-forty-odd comments late to this post and I just don’t think I have it in me to read ALL of those comments just to make sure I’m being original. That sounds exhausting. Now I’m exhausted. This blog comment is quickly spiraling out of control…

  415. Congrats on finishing your book. LOVED the first one and can’t wait for the follow-up!

  416. go jenny!

    on a totally unrelated note, you succeeded where everyone else i admire failed… you made me curious enough to finally watch doctor who… i love you forever for it!!!!

    i might always be late to the party, but i make up for it with enthusiasm.

  417. Congratulations! I’d love to read your book, I haven’t yet! But your blog is one of my most very favorites.

  418. Can hardly wait for your next book! Allie’s is also super awesome!

  419. I can’t wait to see the new book. If you are ever in Minneapolis, be sure to check out The Book Trader, a used bookstore that happens to be crammed to the gills with oddly taxidermed critters, old fraternal gear, toys, and other fine crap. I once saw an entire 40s skating rink diorama there, complete with tiny skating ground squirrels in human clothing. At some point it had become infested, so there were areas where the squirrels’ teeth and skulls were visible through their fur, which only added to the amazing effect of the thing.

  420. “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” is what I told myself as I deleted my Tinder account.

  421. So excited ! I didn’t even realize you were writing another. I just found your book (through Patrick Rothfuss) and binge read your blog back a few years.

  423. That’s awesome! Congratulations!

    I think there was a slightly deceased bear on a table hoisted up near the roof? of the carport? during one of the visits to your parents you describe. Other than that, I got nothin’.

  427. Woo Hoo! Can’t wait for the new book. Love the gif of the cats.

  429. I loved your first book so much I’m going through withdrawals and eating an embarrassing number of hershey’s kisses, all of which are leftovers from Valentines because getting fresh kisses is too difficult, but a signed copy of your first book would really go a long way towards me putting this bag of sugary death down.

  430. I was trying to type in my email address, and phone auto corrected (or architected as it just did again) to “wcca” for the first part. And that made me think of WIC (or SIX according to autocorrect again) and Wicca, and so I thought that maybe the cosmos is telling me I should be a witch with a little side kick in tow and that we both should be on food stamps. Then thanks to the other autocorrects, I thought maybe the Universe is saying I should be a designer witch with 6 kids (or 5 if I count as one of the six) and we all are on welfare since apparently I’d spend all my money on styling (or settling according to auto correct again) myself and the way too many little hellions (who apparently are children of the Sun – Helios – thanks to autocorrect).
    overr most of your published book

  431. I sure would like a copy of your book, instead of borrowing it from the library!
    Congratulations on the new book!!!

  433. I’m so glad you have another book coming out! I made my book club read your first one & unfriended anyone that disliked it! Honestly, who loves commas so much that they hate a book for not using them?! I can’t wait to throw your 2nd book back in the ring! Keep on keeping on!

  435. LOVE you Jenny!! My kids repeatedly told both my husband and I to stop reading your book because they were worried we were going to “laugh our heads off!” Please feel free to use the quote if you’re so inclined, lol!

  439. Even if I’m not picked for the giveaway, your book is the first one I’m getting off my wish list when I get my first paycheck from my new job in a few weeks! Congrats on submitting book 2!

  441. Congrats! Don’t worry too much about those commas, I’m sure people will love your book anyway. Never see anyone complain about the lack of commas in your blog 🙂

  445. Congratulations on the second book. I am very excited about it. I read the first one while I was away on training for the Army. I helped me through a lot of days that I wanted to punch someone. When I got home I bought a copy for my mom as a thank you for keeping my kids while I was gone. Sadly, there was only one copy. Some day I will get a copy for myself. Some day…

  446. I would understand your book, cause I totally get your warped sense of humor. Love it.

  447. Yay!! I have just about worn out my copy of your first book from reading it so many times (and that’s really impressive since it’s the kindle version), so knowing that another one is on its way is the best news I have had this week. Possibly this year. Or decade. Whatever. Yay!!

  448. ED. NOTE: Ryeginald here again. Correction: I’m apparently THREE HUNDRED AND SOME comments late to this post, as opposed to the previously reported two-hundred-forty-odd. The rest of the comment still stands, though. Do I get points taken off for posting more than one comment? If so, please consider this the same comment as my previous comment. Is that cheating? If so, I’m sorry. This is why contests give me nightmares.

  449. Love your posts!! And your book-I borrowed it from a friend and read it and tried to keep it but they forced me to give it back so I really need one!

  450. Loved the first book!

    Can’t wait to read the new one – congrats!

  452. Congrats! Can’t wait to read it. I bought the digital version of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened and kick myself for not getting the hard copy. I did find it at my local library and now place it randomly so more people will experience the joy 🙂

  453. Who needs commas? I’m sure it’s fine as is.

    I am so excited for the second book. And an autographed copy of the first would be awesome.

  455. I’ve been procrastinating buying your first book for so long that now there is going to be another one, which I will also procrastinate buying, probably until your third book comes out or I quit my job or my son turns 18 and can move out (hey, that’s only 10 years and 355 days from now! ). One of these days I will read at least one of these damn things.

    Anyway, good luck on your new book!

  460. Yes please, I need your book like hot needs chocolate. And because I’m a poor graphic designer who has to wait for books to show up at the library, and then get on a waiting list, and I NEED to read more about crazy taxidermy and loopy conversations with your husband, because I live is every day but can’t put into words what it’s like, but you can.

  461. When I read your book, I actually peed my pants. Just a little, but I legit peed my pants I laughed so hard. Hubby looked at me like I was insane, cause I was just reading to myself and laughing hysterically. He reminds me a bit of Victor. I have taxidermy in the house too, and he hates it. I downloaded your book on my Kobo, but it doesn’t work so well after I dropped it in my oatmeal one morning. Then there was the day my dog got ahold of it, so now when it does turn on I can’t read the bottom right corner of any of the pages. And if I leave it on too long it kind of smells like oatmeal. Where was I going with this? Right. Book. So it would be nice to be able to read it again. I’ll definitely be buying #2.

  462. Yay! happy dance But really, commas are not all that nice. See how I snuck one in there? I think it was rather ambiguous. I suppose if it’s not mean, then a comma is nice. But that is like a Schroedinger’s cat thing and I just can’t go there without a few drinks. Maybe that means you need to drink more before talking to your editor.
    Anyway, congrats! Deep cleansing breaths. It’ll be awesome 🙂

  464. I’m beyond excited there is another book coming out. The first books is easily one of my favorites. I laughed until I cried repeatedly. I can’t wait to read book 2!

  465. I would love a copy of your book!! Especially an autographed one. Congrats on finishing the (allegedly) hardest part!

  468. Woohoo… Your first book was great and reminded me that as screwed up as my family is, it’s still something to celebrate.

    I bet you thought I was going with a “at least my family isn’t as weird as yours” thing didn’t you? Well it’s not. Your family and mine are on equal footing. If our families lived across the street from one another the rest of the neighborhood would hate us all. But we’d either have the best, most amazing neighbor get-togethers or we’d make that whole “Hatfield and McCoy” thing look like a tiddly win game.

    Either way I suspect it’s good that our families don’t actually know each other. We might accidentally end the world if they did.

  472. Congratulations! I can’t wait to read it! (But alas, I’ll pass on the book copy because I have my Kindle version PLUS an autographed copy that is actually on a pedestal in my library).

  473. Congrats on finishing book #2!!!

    I wouldn’t mind an autographed copy of your first book, but I’ve already read it but haven’t yet bought Allie’s book… so I’m torn as to which prize I would want. That’s assuming I win, which I probably won’t because my luck for these sorts of things kinda sucks.

    Either way, I’m happy for you on this new milestone!

  474. Congratulations on finishing your book! I’m planning a trip to the States in a month and will definitely get BOTH your books (at least the first one)… Tell you all about it when I’m done!!

  475. Yay! Another book to add to my list. I still need to read your first one

  476. I work at the library but have not looked for your book… odd… but I would luv to own it and I promise to make everyone I know read it

  479. Congratulations on your second book! I am dying to read the first one, and as soon as I am legally allowed in the library again I am definitely going to make it the first thing I check out.

  480. Here’s hoping the editing process is quick and painless. Best of luck!

  481. I got the first book from the library so I would love to have a copy for my very own! Pick me, pick me!!!

  483. Reading this was so much better than paying attention in differential equations.

  484. I LOVED your first book and cannot WAIT for your next one to come out!!

  485. I read your book while I was camping and I think my in-laws might have begun (after 10 yrs) to realize just how truly messed up I am. Laughing hysterically one minute, bawling the next. So, thank you for that?

  486. I would love to win a copy of your book. Your blog has become an important stop in my day to day life. I frequently repeat your words, ‘depression lies.’ I find them grounding and comforting. Thank you for all you do.

  487. Lets Pretend This Never Happened totally validated my current human existence, and it made me wish that we were best friends. Needless to say I’m drooling over the arrival of another book. drools

  488. GO JENNY!!! From this point on, we should all comment without using a single comma. That way when your editors remark on your lack of punctuation you can say “My readers don’t believe in commas either.”

    Also, if I win I would like my book copy to be inscribed thusly: “Tori Deaux already has a book signed by me but she’s greedy and asked for another one but is justifying it by claiming she’ll give it to the first person she finds who looks like they really need a laugh. So this is for that random person. Laugh You Random Person You – Laugh! P.S. Writing without a single comma is HARD. So all claims that it’s a sign of laziness are wrong. Also I don’t believe Tori will actually give this copy away so if she does please let me know – signed, Jenny Lawson and the Taxidermy Menagerie.” 🙂

  489. I already have your incredible book, signed and everything, but I’d love a copy of Flora & Ulysses.

  492. I devoured your first book in a couple of days. I can’t wait for the second one to hit the shelves! I would love an autographed copy cuz the one I have is in ebook form. I would never lend the paper one to anyone. They can borrow my e-copy any time, though.

  493. First, congratulations on finishing the second book! I am sure it will be as awesome as the first one (from what I hear) which I can confirm after you read this and determine that I am, for once, a winner!

  495. I loved your first book, so I am really excited about the new one! You have invaded my brain in so many ways. I laugh out loud at things that remind me of what I read. People tend to avoid me when I do. 🙂 I never realized how much taxidermy is out there. I could send you lots of photos of pained looking foxes holding business cards on trays.

  496. Oh, Pick me! I’ve always wanted to win something. The lottery is not looking likely, so can I have your book? Please?

  497. Your first book reads like my head…funny cra cra & real as shit.
    There I said it, can you send me a book please?

  498. oh, yes please yes please, i have my own copy of your book (of COURSE!) but i’ve lent it out to probably 20 of my friends and would LOVE LOVE LOVE a signed copy. so very excited to hear that the 2nd book is in the works. love your writing, thanks so much for sharing it with the world. keep writing! keep being your awesome self!

  499. Fantastic! Can’t wait for the new book. And I’d love an autographed copy of your first one, mainly because I lent my copy out and it’s now traveled through so many friends I’ve lost track of where it ended up. Everyone loves it. The cat gif made me laugh out loud at my desk. Thanks for that too!

  500. How exciting! So far I have yet to listen to your book, but I have read it in both ebook and hardcover. I’d love to have a signed copy to lord over everyone.

  501. There aren’t words to describe how happy I would be to have a second copy of your book with your signature on it. (Technically 4th since I have a hard back, the kindle edition and the audio.) I’m not obsessed. I just like to lend it out a lot so ALL of my friends get to know you.

  502. Congrats on the 2nd book! Can’t wait to read it. But I hope it isn’t out too soon as your first one arrived in time to get me through a sudden loss in our family.

    A couple of years a go, my brother-in-law sent my sister flowers for Valentines Day for the first time in years. (and your first book came out that year)

    This year my hubby sent me flowers on Valentines Day for the first time in a very long time. Our anniversary is later in the month & some times he get s them for that. But hardly ever for Valentines Day. (and your second book is on track to come out this year)

    When I told my sister my husband was trying to kill me, she cracked up laughing.

    Her hubby passed away suddenly 2 months after he sent her the V-Day flowers. So by her reasoning my hubby was not trying to kill me, he was puting himself in peril!

    Your first book arrived the day of my brother-in-law’s funeral, and was my escape after all that family.

    So if your book comes out soon, I think I really should increase my hubby’s life insurance.

  509. I really need something to read. I’m on week 8 of 11 weeks of modified bed rest. I’m running out of things to keep my mind busy.

  510. Congratulations on finishing your book! I would love one of these copies, because I have yet to read it! (I just recently found you!)

  511. Yay! I’m glad that you’re having another book coming out (eventually)! It would be cool to get a copy of your book (I only have it electronically) and be able to have my mom read it. She loves your blog, but can’t read on kindles because they give her headaches. I have also read your book to my father. There were lots of edited lines and thoughts along the line of ‘Yeah, I’m just gonna skip this entire paragraph.’ so I would rather not have to repeat the experience. Thanks for the givaway!

  513. Thank you so much for writing your book! I laughed so hard knowing that someone else is just as crazy as I am (and who finds commas completely unnecessary because really when you think about it, you don’t use commas in your head). I have had several of my friends read it and they all said, “Dude. This is you.” And I said, “I know, right?!” They send their condolences to your friends because my friends feel your friends’ pain (especially with the word vomit that comes out on social occasions. The classic example was when I was trying to tell my new neighbors welcome to the neighborhood, and ended up telling them about how I could see into their living room window at night, and we watch a lot of the same shows, and stay up late, and bleh…. They got blinds the next week haha).

  514. Thank you for the post, the gif and the caption. I’m not sure which part I enjoyed most. But as I try to match teams to the unpaid bills for toll in Norway I do appreciate the laugh.

  516. Yay! You’ve finished, what an accomplishment! I would love to read your book; if its like your posts I know I’ll enjoy it. And by the way, your cat trap is working.

  517. Ohhh! Can’t wait until the new one comes out. I’m doing the happy
    dance. : )

  518. I already have your book, but I’d like an autographed copy even more. I haven’t read it yet, but I’m going to. Right now I only read mind-numbingly boring textbooks, because, you know, grad school. I get to resume pleasure reading in December.

  519. I would love to have your book. I have one on Kindle, but a REAL one would be super!

  521. Ordering the Rosetta Stone Learn to Speak Polish so I can read the one with the bear on the cover…it may be the funniest one yet!

  522. Congratulations on finishing the book, from a loyal reader/sporadic, anxiety-ridden commenter! (Yes, commenting on stuff gives me anxiety. I gotz issues.)

    Also, I’ve been laughing at that gif of Hunter S Thomcat and Ferris Mewler for like five solid minutes.”GET THE SHIT IN HERE.” dies

  525. I’ve been wanting to read your first book, but I just had a baby seven months ago. So I figure I’ll get to reading it when he goes off to college and I have my life back (and that’s assuming we don’t have anymore…which is wildly optimistic to the point of crazy…)

  526. Really looking forward to your next book! I really enjoyed your first one – it was hilarious! And try not to listen to those little voices. They don’t know what they’re talking about. Except maybe for the voice actually belonging to your editors. They probably know what’s what with the commas. 😉

  527. So I have to admit I feel like a bad person for not having read your first book yet. But I do love you.

  528. Congratulations! I’m looking forward to your next book, and can’t wait to read it!

  529. What a great accomplishment! I came to a book reading in corte madera, CA, a while back, and on the way home I saw a green fire burst shooting star streak the sky. What a fun night!! And I made a friend that I still talk to! Yay!!!!!! Jenny, you rock.

  530. Isn’t there a bear in LPTNH? A dead one up on some sort of raised platform in your dad’s, er, abattoir?

  531. Congratulations! I can’t wait to read the second book. I was living in San Antonio at the time of the first release and had the pleasure of meeting you at a book signing. I hope you travel to New York for a book signing with the second book. I love to see you do a reading again.

  532. I borrowed a copy of your first book and almost didn’t give it back because you made me laugh. I know I need my own copy and an autographed one would be wonderful. congratulations on finishing the second. I’d be very, very kind if I were your editor.
    Pamela Holmden

  535. Can’t wait to read more about the crazy, wondeful world of you! Love you Jenny!

  536. Hoping you haven’t chosen anyone yet. I really want one. 🙂 I have your calendar & the “You’re baby’s so cute…” card hanging in my office at work. The card is especially fun & twisted because I work at a pregnancy & baby store!

  537. I got about half way through the e-book version from my library. Then they disappeared it. I guess that’s better than charging me late fees for being a slow reader, but still. I would love to have my own copy to slow-read at will.

  539. Hooray!!! I’ve been waiting forever and ever for your next book! sighs dramatically

  541. I loved your book when I rented it from the library. I would love your book even more (if that’s possible) if it was in my own library!

  542. I cannot wait to read the second one! I was given the first one as a pick me up gift during my divorce and there were totally days where Stanley the squirrel made life easier!!! I cant wait to see whats next!!

  543. My daughter (Whitney,17) is such a gifted writer and I’m the opposite- a great editor. I feel like I’m fucking up all of her work because then it’s not really HER work the way she intended it to be. Congratulations on such a big deal. I’m totally going to have a fancy cocktail in your honor tonight!

  545. Congrats on finishing the book – I have wanted to read your 1st one for awhile so would love to win a copy, but if not will definitely before the new one hits stands. And is anyone normal? 🙂 Keep up the great work – this is the best blog out there!!

  547. I’m very much looking forward to reading your new book when it comes out. I fell in love with your writing with the first read of your blog, and loved your first book. Sadly, I loaned it to one of my mothers, and the one in question is a semi-closeted hoarder, so the chances of getting it back eventually are fairly slim. That said, it would be awesome to be chosen at random as the winner of an autographed copy of your first tree spawn. Congratulations on your continued successes, and blog the hell on, Jenny!

  548. Your book has been on the top of my “do want” list for forever now, but the book faerie has not gotten it for me yet. 🙁
    A signed copy from YOU would be even better than a magic book faerie! <3

  551. Lol your posts always make me feel normal, because your an awesome amount of epicness!!! And congrats on the turn in!

  552. Let’s pretend I never read your book and you can send me a new one that I can read over and over and over again. My cat Fred would approve.

  555. Please include a warning label, “Warning: drinking and reading may result in you snorting your drink out your nose from laughing too hard.”

  556. Congratulations, sweetie! That’s wonderful! I dream of publishing someday, still…you’re actually doing it. Thanks for the free book opportunity too!

  559. If I tell you my cat belongs to a street gang, will I get an autographed copy of the book? =)

  560. You just made my year! Knowing that I have a new Jenny Lawson book to look forward to reading will fill me with “happy thoughts”! And I would love to win an autographed copy of your 1st book as my lying mother never returned mine & we are no longer speaking.

  561. Yay! So very excited. I haven’t read the first yet because every time I try to read something it gets thrown down and stomped on by a domineering toddler, but I really think I’ll enjoy it whenever I’m able to get to it. Love!

  562. I would love an autographed copy of your book. Since I didn’t realize you were in Winnipeg to come see you and get mine signed. You’re awesome! Yah for getting your second book done in under 2 years!

  567. Enjoy your TA-DAAAAAAAA moment. I am quite impressed, having never written a whole book (except a kids’ book that I never illustrated so it’s still in the drawer). I would love to win a copy of your first book with your genuine autograph. PLEASE?!!!

  568. Congratulations on the birth of your next creative endeavor. I look forward to it’s publish date in a way I haven’t since I was waiting for the next Harry Potter book. I have the hardback of the first, and the paperback as well. I have no hope of getting the signed one as I don’t do well with winning things. The only time I won something was at my office Christmas party of my very first “adult” job (and by “adult” i mean after I finished school, not the “adult industry”…sorry, rambling) and I got fired the same day. So, yeah, luck is not my thing.

  571. I absolutely LOVE your book, and the way you right. It’s like you went into my head and wrote down the way I think. I find it amazing that you and Allie are friends because both of you are awesome!!

  573. More than once someone came into the room while I was reading (the library’s copy of) LPTNH to find me with tears in my eyes from laughing so hard. (They had no way of knowing that I’d also nearly wet my pants from the laugh-exertion!) Since then, I’ve recommended it to all sorts of friends who I happen to know ran right out and bought it. I’d sure love my own autographed copy! So looking forward to the next one!

  575. I CANNOT even tell you how excited I am to hear that a second book is imminent. My mom was just diagnosed with cancer, and my brother and I spent the weekend with her before she started her chemo today. A good part of Friday afternoon was spent laughing our asses off over our own retellings of your book. So much so that we convinced my brother to go pick it up; he finished it before he left. I anxiously await the exact moment I can pre-order your new one. Rock on, sister.

  576. OMG. I cannot wait to read your next book, Jenny! Your first book was as funny as your sense of humor! I’m sure that your 2nd book will top the bestsellers list just like your first book. I had the pleasure of seeing you at your book signing in San Jose a year ago and I’m wishing to see you again on your 2nd book tour !!! Best of luck to you and keep up the great work!!! 😀

  578. Ooh!! My dog (Black Labrador) is named Hunter (yes, after the same Hunter S. Thompson.) And, he has a stuffed black labrador toy, whose name is of course, Stockton. I think that should get me a few points. 🙂

  581. Oh, I already have your book and Allie’s book … but Flora and Ulysses is on my Amazon wish list.

  582. Damnit! I’ve read (and loved) them all! I guess if you pick me, you should pick a library and donate a copy of your book to them!

  584. I’m sure you hear this all the time but I have pretty intense anxiety and your first book was a huge comfort to me. It let me know that I wasn’t alone and I just wanted to thank you and say that you’re amazing.

  585. It’s kind of weird that you posted this today. I am actually reading your first book for the second time. And recently, I’ve started reading your blog from the very beginning. I saw a metal turkey this weekend in Hot Springs, NC and I wanted to take a pic of it and send it to you and say “gobble, gobble motherfucker”.

    Congrats on your second book! I can’t wait to read it.

  586. You wrote and turned in a book. I got out of bed this morning. We’re about even, right?

    Congrats.

  588. So, today there was a pink travel mug on the counter in my classroom. It has clearly been there at least over the weekend, and quite probably for several days before that. One of the kids tipped it over, and it spilled everywhere. Not sure what was in it, exactly, but it smelled like rancid goat bellybutton and it was kind of reddish. Nobody claimed ownership. I had to clean it up, and now my hands have that leftover goat bellybutton funk to them, you know – just to remind me what a lovely start to the day I had.
    A copy of your book would do so much to remedy this feeling. I’m quite certain of this.

  589. You’re the best and I hope I win 🙂 can’t wait for the second one!!

  590. Congrats! Ohhh, yeaaah–a good critique can sting a bit, but it’s worth it. Just because certain authors could probably get their grocery lists published doesn’t mean they should. (Oh, you know the ones. You are not one of them. Yet. But when you join that elite group, please embrace your editor.)

  591. Omg! I just loved your first book! Can’t wait for the second 1! Congrats!

  592. I seriously need another copy of your awesome for a friend who needs to be in the tribe. She’s going thru a rough year and could use a giggle, some inspiration, and to know she’s not alone. I’ll buy it soon enough but I’m not ashamed tho ask for a freebie. 🙂

  594. I can’t wait for the second book and I want an autographed copy!

  595. I really don’t know whether to be pleased or terrified that your writing makes so much sense to me. Anyway, well done – note the comma 🙂 🙂 and keep going poppet. x

  597. CONGRATULATIONS!!! If I read the second book half as many times as I’ve read the first I may have to sue you for the page-turning-induced carpal tunnel I will inevitably develop. So, for both of our sakes, I hope it’s a colossal disappointment. 🙂

  598. I have NEVER been picked randomly for anything. I’ve only been picked on purpose a handful of times. Nevertheless, I WANT YOUR BOOK!

  601. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE a copy! I have purchased 3 now, and keep giving them away. A signed copy will stay with me! (I bought the audiobook for my grandmother, she LOVES it) PICK ME!

  607. I was on a cruise in October, and while waiting for my drink at the bar I saw another passenger carrying YOUR BOOK on the way to her lounge chair…I startled her terribly by saying with great enthusiasm (i.e. basically yelling at her), “OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT BOOK I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE READING IT!!!!!!!” Considering how shocked she seemed, she must not have been very far in. Otherwise I think she would have gone with the flow a lot better.

  608. I already read your book but it’s much easier to force people to read a paper copy instead of the ebook on my iPad – plus if I lone out the paper copy, I won’t lose my bathroom computer to slow readers!

  610. I am currently going through the editing process with my first-ever book. Totally dead-on about the voices now having a physical form. Freaky.

  612. Loved your first book and even if I don’t win one of your new books I’ll have to go out and buy myself a copy anyway.

  613. That post about your kid and the fractional hamsters was brilliant. But she’s growing up surrounded by so many taxidermied “pets”, I’ve gotta wonder if she was actually looking forward to a pen filled with partial rodents, or if she just has a very Wednesday Addams sense of humor. Both should serve her well in life.
    Oh – and congrats on the initial hand-off!

  614. Congrats! I already have your book, but would really love to read Allie’s. Unfortunately, the current balance of my bank account is 8 Euros. And a few cents. Don’t remember the cents, it’s been a few hours since I checked.

  615. Congratulations! Two major accomplishments! It is so inspiring to see another blogger not only getting published, but also creating a New York Times bestseller. I loved your first book and cannot wait to read your second. Rock on, sister.

  616. What does it mean if you weren’t confused at all by the last one? Whatever, I’m ridiculously excited about the next. Congratulations on finishing it!

    And that gif is all sorts of win.

  618. I loved your first book! I listened to the audio version while on vacation. I’m excited about the second one!! Hopefully you will do another audio version 🙂

  620. Can we guess the title? I’m thinking “I’m Still in Denial this Ever Happened” or “Cats, And Other Random Crap”
    (Regardless I very much look forward to reading it once it’s out!)

  622. A new book? Awesome!! (And I’m glad I’m not the only one who finds editing harder than the actual writing.)

  623. Pretty please! I really want one, I’ll be good to it. I might even buy some taxidermy to keep the signed book company and make it feel at home.

  624. Me, me! Pick me! I haven’t read your first book and I am ever so much more deserving than all those other commenters. Ahem.

  626. Yayyyy! Congratulations! I laughed my ass off listening to “Let’s Pretend…” as an audio book …although, I somehow missed the part about why you sang the chapter titles, and I meant to go back and re-listen to the beginning, but I never did, and I still don’t know if there was a reason, but I assume you said something about it early on, during the boring copyright author page type of stuff, or while I was trying to avoid crashing, or something, and it’s still kind of a mystery….

    Anyhoodle…. Congrats!

  628. Please! Pick me! My life is crap right now and I could use a good laugh! Thank you!

    Love and taxidermied unicorns!
    Kim

  629. Loved your first book, can hardly wait for the second. I know you are beset by voices who criticize an demean you. but I am so glad I found your blog because you always make me laugh.

  630. So excited for your next book — but I would love an autographed copy of Let’s Pretend this Never Happened! I only have it on my Kindle. So please, please, pick me. After all, I am SURE that 586 is your favorite number. And this is comment 586. So it Karma.

  631. I have not read your book yet but would love to. Unfortunately I’m too cheap to buy it at full price so I’ve been looking for it in used book stores and flea markets but have not come across it yet. A signed copy would be pretty fucking incredible. This is the first time I’ve ever commented on here but read you daily. I can’t believe there are almost 600 comments on here already!! Anyway, congrats on finishing the book and I’ll stick with you through sick and sin (pun intended).

  633. I discovered your blog today and I have cried from laughing so hard multiple times today. It was a fantastic way to start off my week-so thank you. For a few moments today I felt like maybe I wasn’t alone in my totally crazy view of the world- thank you for that too!
    Getting a copy of your book from you personally would be a huge win for me, but even if I don’t, I’ll be getting my hands on it sooner or later!
    You’re awesome.

  634. Would LOVE a copy ! My family is probably just as messed up- my mother insisted we were royalty, descended from Queen Mary and she talked about a ring known only as the Lake Diamond, which no one has ever seen!

  635. I want the book I want the book I want the book 🙂 I’ve bought 3 copies and then given them away because everyone deserves it, and I’d really like one to actually keep and display on my bookshelf.

  638. Congrats on your new book! I am very excited for you. I would love an autographed copy of your first book! I only have the Kindle version 🙁

  641. Happy, happy, happy. I am so happy you have written the new book. When I read your first book I wanted another one right away and soon, it will be available. Please keep us updated on the expected release date. Good stuff.

  643. Oooo ooo ooo! I’d love a copy of your first book!!! Congrats on finishing the second one!

  645. Meow meow meow ( words from chopper the Atlanta office cat). He will read your next book as he fully enjoyed the first one before he chewed the corners off. He thought it was laced with catnip

  646. I let my gf borrow my signed copy of your book because I’m nice. She’s now my ex and never returned my book because she’s not nice and I refuse to ask for it back because, just no. So, I need a copy to help soothe my soul and to possibly avoid me going to jail for trying to sneak through her dog door, which I would enlarge with a chainsaw, to retrieve my cherished copy.

  647. Congratulations to finishing your second book! If I won a copy of your book, I’d give it to my brother. He likes weird stuff, so he’d probably love it.

  648. Oh PLEASE randomly pick me!! PLEASE!!! Today has been CRAP, what with BWL trying to turn our water off and no jobs and no money…PLEASE!!

  649. I work in publishing so I hope you’ll forgive me for pointing out a typo here, second paragraph:

    “…It comes out in Polish in a few month and I just saw the cover and there’s a bear on it. …”

    you need to add an “s” to “month” so it’ll say “months”

    Congratulations on finishing the second one. I understand how agonizing it can be. I’d say “good luck!” but pffffft, it’ll do great! That’s a given. 🙂

  650. Congrats! I loaned out your first book and never got it back, so a new one would be lovely 🙂

  651. omg, i would LOVE a signed copy! my local book store didnt have it, so i had to get the digital copy 🙁 but, the sounds of laughter from the bathroom as i read it (during some “me” time on the toilet >.>) made my boyfriend wonder what the hell was going on.

  652. Congrats! I can’t wait to read more about Beyonce and other stuff like that! Funny stuff!

  653. I am so excited!! I can’t wait to read the next one! I preordered your first one and stalked my Kindle until it was released. I’ll stalk this one too!!

  656. Congrats on finishing the creative birthing process. I’m stuck here in East Texas in this miserable ice storm and could really use something new to read. Or a drink. Yeah, definitely a drink.

  657. I own a copy of both your & Allie’s books but would LOVE to give an autographed copy of your book to several people.

  659. Just discovered your blog and am looking forward to reading your books!

  661. I would LOVE to win your book ~ love reading your posts, and I always look forward to the new ones!!

  662. I had an autographed copy, but I loaned it to a friend and never got it back! I would love a replacement, I promise not to share this one!!

  663. I’d love a copy of your book! I got it from the library and ended up reading half of it out loud to my husband when he wanted to know why I was laughing hysterically — he really needs to read it himself.

  668. I bought a copy of your book for my best friends but I still haven’t picked one up for myself. Hopefully, I can get to a store to buy it before “Ramblings of a Hootsnatch” or whatever you name #2 comes out. =D

    PS. If you actually name it “Ramblings of a Hootsnatch”, I’d like a free copy.

    PPS. I could use a mango lassi too while I’m at it

  669. I have your book, but I don’t have your AUTOGRAPH. Here, let me fangirl like a Beatles fan in 1965. AHHHHHHHHH. And on another note – “This would make me lose my mind, up in hea, up in hea” Because I’m old school & bad ass rapper in a old, crippled, white girl package.

    OH HOLY BALLS – this means you’ll be doing another book tour? Can I guide you to Indianapolis? We have cornfields, rednecks, geeks & booze. Come to Indy – it’s just like Texas, but way more fuckin snow.

  673. I would love a text copy to go with the audio version I already own. …But mostly I just wanted to say congratulations. You have done something really neat.

  675. I read your first book, and loved it, but I have ADD so I don’t really remember much of it, so I need to read it again but my OCD won’t let me go to the bookstore to buy it…so yay winning one would be good.

  678. I. CAN. NOT. WAIT.

    Please tell your editors to hurry the hell up, plzkthxbai.

  679. Would love another copy if your book. I got the first one from a good friend while I was recovering from colon surgery. I loved your book. Then I gave it to another friend who needs a laugh. I hope she continues to pass it on to her friends who need a laugh. I want a new one to keep and start a collection with your second book. And your third…….

  680. Congratulations on completing your second book! I can’t wait to read it!!

  681. O.M.G I can’t wait for your new book! And i would love a signed copy of the first one. I would get to tell my friends all about it and for once they would listen because ITS SIGNED. Like, THATS AWESOME.

  685. I need another copy of your book! I only have five. Five is a bad number. Please make me even again!

  686. My sister would so love an autographed copy of your book! She won’t get it until I read it, but still.

  690. Hiya,
    I’ve only recently discovered you, but you’re awesome, very funny while also being great at addressing serious issues in a very relatable way. I really enjoy your posts, and look forward to your new book (and will need to read your first one, an autographed copy always helps!!) 🙂

  693. Congrats, Jenny! I’m starting the whole publishing journey on my first and have a Google Hangout scheduled tonight with the editors of the publishing company which means they’ll get to witness me uncontrollably blinking while my four-year-old colors on the screen. I’m incredibly happy/terrified but still mostly in the happy zone. I would love love love a signed copy of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened!

  696. I can’t wait to read your new book! Let’s Pretend This Never Happened Some More: Even More Pretending- just shooting a title out there.

  697. OMG so excited to hea the new book is coming soon!! WOOHOO!! I already have the Kindle version, paperback version, and 2 gifted versions of your current book so maybe if I win I could check out Allies?

  698. I need a random copy of your book because I loaned mine out and the last person wouldn’t return it.. and I promise to buy and pimp out the second one as well.

  701. Congratulations!! I have read your first book a few times and I am patiently waiting for the next one.

  702. A big, hearty, ‘WHEW’! Both you and Allie make me realize that I’m not the only fucked up one out there. So, thanks for that, and congratulations (again). Can’t wait to read the new one.

  703. Perhaps you can convince them that a half-off hamster would make a better cover. If they feel bad about, put the other half on the back of the book

  705. Ohhh gosh that would be perfect for the toilet! Id LOVE to win a signed copy of your book. We have such bad days and your silliness would sure brighten things up. 🙂

    I hope your second book is as well-received as the first. You are so talented, witty and cute and I am so happy for you.

  707. Looking forward to the next book! I am sure it will be as amazing as the last one!

  708. Hurray! I’m excited about the new book despite not having been able to read the first one yet. Would enjoy a copy 🙂

  709. I love our blog and would LOVE a copy of your book! I am poor and cannot afford to buy one myself so I have been waiting to find one at the library sale or the thrift store, but I believe I may have a long wait to find one in those places because only a “normal” person would ever get rid of your book and I honestly don’t think those exist. Anyway, many congratulations on finishing your second book! You are awesome!!

  712. I already own two copies of your book and one of Allie’s, but I never get to read them because they’re always lent out. I fully expect this next one to be similarly scarce. Be brave, and keep on trucking! Except not in an actual truck, please, because I kind of shudder to imagine The Infamous Jenny Lawson behind the wheel of a semi. And now I can’t stop thinking about it. Consarn it!

  713. Could always use ANOTHER copy of your book! I keep telling people about it and they just shake their heads – not sure if in awe or in incredulous sympathy, but you had me giggling at the dedication… Looking forward to the next one!

  714. Yay! Congrats on finishing your new book! I can’t wait to add it to my collection. 🙂

  716. your blog. It was supposed to say “your blog”. I think my keyboard is possessed. It likes to leave out letters I *totally typed.

  717. My girlfriend told me about you a year ago and ever since you’ve had me in stitches. Which is especially fun now since I’m pregnant and tend to pee a little when laughing. So thank you for that!

  719. YAY! First book was like some baffling roller-coaster that made me get weird looks from my roommate because I was laughing so hard I couldn’t continue reading for several minutes because I was rolling around in hysterics. I WANT THAT AGAIN, if anything, just to fuck with my roommate (he deserves it – he’s too uptight).

  721. Yes please!! I loaned my copy to a friend and haven’t seen it since. We’re not really friends any more.Sigh. it’s just plain rude to steal a girls book!!!

  723. Seriously glad to find someone adult who supports and reads young adult and children’s fiction. There is a lot of good stuff available. My local library tends to label a lot of stuff as YA, so I learned years ago to not let this label put me off, after reading “The Book Thief” by Markus Zusak. (The author’s name always reminds me of “Keyser Soze” for some reason.)

  724. Can’t wait for your new book. Your blog gives me so many laughs on days I really truly need them! Thank you for providing so many smiles!

  725. I can’t wait until your next book is out. I bought the last one on a whim 2 summers ago when I went to the beach with friends. They had never heard me laugh outloud so much. I kept having yo read them sections outloud. I said this woman and I were totally separated at birth.

  727. Congrats on finishing your second book. Can’t wait to read it! Would love to own a copy of your first book.

  728. Congratulations! It’s a hell of an achievement to turn in a book draft. You should take some time and celebrate. 🙂 I’ll look forward to reading it.

  729. Congratulations, Jenny! I know finishing has been on your mind!! Can’t wait to read it!!

    Like the billions of others, I’d love to have an autographed copy—then my non-autographed copy could become my ‘lending’ copy!! I just lent my copy of “Hyperbole” and frankly, it’s making me nervous not to have it handy (the same way that not having yours does)……

  731. Can’t wait to read the next book – I laughed so hard with the first one I nearly choked to death!

  732. I have to sign up, to leave a comment. I never sign up for things, because, lazy. But even though there are 700 comments and how could I possibly be picked when every one else (or a lot of other else’s) are so clever and stand outish and stuff. But I laughed out loud, maniacally at every paragraph I read of the first book. While hanging in the hammock in the backyard, or sitting at the bus stop or in the waiting room of my therapist. Your book was the best therapy ever. I can’t wait for the next one to come out. (congratulations, by the by, I get all exalted when I get some paperwork done with no creative content, just stuff that will get me paid, but that I put off forever because who likes paperwork? and seriously, who can keep their mind on it?)

  733. Congrats! That’s really exciting!!! I’m going to use a lot of exclamation points to make you feel good about your lack of commas!!!!!!!

    Having an autographed copy of your book would be really freakin’ cool. I loved it but don’t have my own copy. Can’t wait to read the next one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  734. I have lent your book out to so many people because it is the best book EVER WRITTEN and I want to read it again but I have no idea who I last gave it to and now I am contemplating buying another one but I know that as soon as I do that the first book will come back to me. So looking forward to the next one and this time I will be sure to have each person I lend it to sign a lengthy contract so I can remember who has it because I know it will be the second best book ever written and I will tell everyone I know to read it.

  736. my copy of your book seems to be a casualty of a lost friendship, so a signed copy would be an awesome way to replace it!

  737. With a winter snow total of 10′ and cabin fever, I really need a good read!!!

  741. Don’t take this the wrong way, but… I’m so glad to know that you can be a total spaz and ALSO be productive on your own terms. It gives other spazzes (spazzi?) like me hope. So, thanks for doing what you do. End transmission.

  743. I loved your first book, Jenny. I’m actually writing a blog post about it, but it’s taking some time because…you know, the P word. Anyway, I’m looking forward to the next book with bated breath.

  745. If you just posted GIFs of your cats, I think that would be the use of your blog.
    Also, looking forward to the next book.

  746. The first book made me laugh so hard that a little pee came out. I am now looking forward to the second one.

  748. i still haven’t read your first book. it’s like, i keep meaning to buy it, and i keep getting distracted. mostly because i feel like i haven’t had time to read in forever. hmm.

  749. I want a copy of your book! Since the one I have actually belongs to a friend and I refuse to give it back (she forgot about it) until I get my own copy. And also I want one for my dorm room… And my roommate needs one…. everyone in this world needs one… Omg…. Ramble ramble okay now I”m done.

  750. I don’t write books, but I sure enjoy reading ’em! Loved your first book, would love an autographed copy even more:-)

  751. I drove to Miami (Coral Gables, actually) to meet you and have you autograph my copy of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened (like you would have autographed someone else’s book?). So what I would prefer is an autographed copy of your new book when it comes out.

  752. Rest assured knowing I WILL buy your next book NO MATTER
    WHAT. With or without commas. Your first book indebted me to you for life in some way that I can’t possibly explain but hope you will intuitively get so it doesn’t sound creepy, and to pay off this life debt I will buy one of any book you ever write. Unless you hire ghost writers to flesh out your crude outlines and younpretend you wrote them like dome other once good authoresses have done, in which case we’ll pretend this life debt thing never happened. Ok?

  753. I have your 1st one already but plan on buying it for others. Can’t wait for the next one!

  754. So I’m quite sure reading your book will cause me to laugh terribly. It may even be dangerous considering how much i <3 your blog!

  755. I love your book! But apparently my copy doesn’t have the extra chapter of delight 🙁

  756. Pick me! Pick me! I loved your book and I am anxiously awaiting the second one. No pressure.

  757. Um…ahhhh, er.
    Brain is frozen with excitement over this news…and the fact that I just ate half a frozen coconut cream pie. (Why was it frozen, you ask? Well duh, then I would have eaten a whole pie instead of a half and I’m classy that way. Oops, pie plate just fell off my chest onto my lap, now it’s not so classy)

  758. Pick me! Pick me!

    Btw, my sister and I are looking for someone that can taxidermy a possible deer for us……I can’t say why……if you know of anyone…. 😀

  759. Congratulations!!! I would love to receive a copy of your book.
    You rock!!

  760. Yay! Congrats! I cant wait to read it! Ive read the first one multiple times and always earn weird look from the husband for the snorting laughs!

  761. Congrats on your latest book. I was so happy to share the first one with my book club. Looking forward to reading your next book!

  763. I know my Husband and I will truly enjoy your book. He absolutely adores you & your wit. Congratulations on finishing it. I know how the editing process can get, don’t get discouraged! You wrote it out, now it’s just breaking it down piece by piece. If something doesn’t fit, take it out but that doesn’t mean you have to throw it away. You might be able to move it into your next novel. Good Luck, JL!
    -Red

  764. Can’t wait for the next book. I make my friends read “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” in order to prove they are, in fact, my friends and not just acquaintances.

  765. Your first book was one of those that I got kicked out of bed for laughing too much. Can’t wait for the second one.
    Oh & I wish my cats were half as cool as yours. Do they offer cool cat seminars or something?

  766. Are there kitties in your book? Because I can live without bears if there are kitties. 🙂

  770. Your writing is awesome! I have given your first book to a few people now. Can’t wait for the next one!

  771. I listen to the audiobook version of your book whenever I need to make my inner evil genius smile. Congrats and looking forward to the next one!

  772. Re: “This is great, but have you ever considered using commas? Because most people find them quite nice.”

    I’ve been working on editing some technical training materials, and if there’s one thing I could say about it, it’s that the content providers love commas a little TOO much. Maybe I should bundle the spares up – hundreds of the little buggers – and send them to your editors so they’ve got a ready supply for the authors they deal with who use too few. 🙂

    Really looking forward to reading your next book. The first one makes me laugh every time I open it up on my tablet.

  773. I can’t resist: Pick me! 😀 I used to your blog a couple years ago (before moving overseas for three years and giving up the luxury of free time to write/perform as a musician/rescue insane parrots), and am thrilled to see you on WordPress! I now get to read your blog as a part of ‘real work.’ Yay!

  776. I freakin cannot wait for your next masterpiece. And I do mean master-fucking-piece! Loved loved loved the first one!!!

  778. Congrats on finishing! Can’t wait to read it. Hope you enjoy your time off to chill before the editing starts.

  779. I predict your second book will be my new favorite book. even without commas

  780. My husband and I have really enjoyed reading your posts since we discovered your blog. I’m pretty certain we’d feel the same way about reading your books. Can’t wait to check them out!

  781. Love your book. Love Allie’s book. Can’t wait for more from you both! Yay!

  782. I can’t beleive all the comment whores… Me, I’m a comment blowjob.

  785. Congratulations! I can hardly wait to read it! Is it out yet? Now? How bout now? I really,dislike waiting, but it’ll be worth it!! : )

  787. Dorsal fins and kukamunga! I bet if you think really hard you can remember where the bear fits in, or perhaps the editors have already speed read your book and are going to suggest you add in a bear. Or maybe, it’s a taxidermied bear the publishing house has bought you to put next to Beyonce in the yard??? So many possibilities. Can’t wait to see the new book!

  789. I’m random, and so shall this comment be. Badgers. Mascarpone. Timbuktu. Foil.

  790. I would love a copy of your book! It’s been ony to-read list forever. And congrats on finishing! I love YA. Have your read The Tragedy Paper?

  791. I live in New Zealand, so probably won’t be randomly picked as a winner (as it would expensive to post), but I do enjoy your blog…so even if I don’t win a copy, I will buy a copy of the book.

  792. I love reading your blogs. I guess I am too lazy to even order the book on line. I officially suck.

  799. Ooooooh! Pick me!
    Congrats on finishing the first draft! Can’t wait to read it, and to be gloriously confused all over again!

  800. Congrats! Can’t wait to read the new one and look for missing commas.

  803. Guess I’ll have to try to convince my university prof. instead of my high school teacher to incorporate this book into the syllabus. Not sure how successful I was with the first book, but I like to think he at least read it…

  805. Can your cats please teach mine how to play with a cardboard box? She’ll sniff at them and rub her head against them, but she won’t go in, even if I put treats inside. Boxes are supposed to be cat magnets, so how did I end up with a box-phobic cat? I think maybe in a past life she must have been killed by a cardboard box.

  806. I want to win your book!! My friend stole my copy about a year ago 🙁

  808. Oh my gosh. 797 replies… I don’t imagine I have much of a chance of being noticed here. What a famously popular bloggess you are!

    I got a chance to read your first book, but I’m a poor student and had to borrow a copy from the library. I sort of live in the arse end of the world a bit, so I was a little surprised that they had copies, actually. It’s still on my wishlist though, because I need to read it AGAIN. So if you’re just throwing them away, I’d love to have one thrown in my general direction.

    Also, here, have these unrelated drawing of beartrum that I did a while back. That dude cracks me up.
    http://twolofbees.com/artwork.php?iid=1226
    http://twolofbees.com/artwork.php?iid=1227

  809. The bear would be Franken-bear in your dads carport, on the table, hoisted to the roof. That’s the only bear I remember.

  810. So excited for this! I’m already looking forward to your 2nd audiobook — a must have addition to your printed copy. Many hours spent driving with my sister & I laughing hysterically at your cow vagina antics & deer sweater adventures. We scared the locals (not unusual). This time, we are for SURE going to get ourselves to a Seattle Costco for a parking lot reading from you!

  812. Good for you… looking forward to reading the new book. And I will. I’ve read the first one but since I borrowed it from the public library, I felt obligated to take it back. So having an autographed one of my own would be really cool. PS> I made my book club read it for the month of February. You’re welcome.

  813. I’m so excited to hear the book is done! I can’t wait to get it. 🙂

  814. You are awesome! I can’t wait to read your new book and your new blog posts!

  815. I have Allie’s book and three of yours (hardcover autographed, paperback autographed, and nook – not autographed), so an audio book would be awesome so I don’t have to keep checking it out from the library!

    Also, congratulations Jenny. I’m super proud of you, and I can’t wait to read the next one. But you have to promise to come to Chicago again.

  816. Wow. A lot of people want your signature in your book. Me too! Pick me!

  818. I’m happy for you that you’re finished (for now) with the next book, and I’m happy for all of us that we’ll get to read it! I’m also happy for us that this probably means you’ll do book tours and we’ll get to show up and see you and tell you how much we like you. I might be unhappy for you about the book tours, since you’ve said how much you freak out and have anxiety over them. Maybe keep repeating to yourself that you’re among friends? Because we are. 🙂

  821. Huzzah and Congratulations on finishing Book 2! Is it time to begin pleading with you to come to Raleigh for a book signing? I promise not to allow anyone to force “Carolina barbecue” upon you.

  823. omg. can’t wait. I haven’t had this much fun reading and snorting wine through my nose since I read Are You There Vodka, It’s Me Chelsea. And for the record, Jenny, because want to make my library coworkers and my friend who turned me on to your book jealous with an autographed copy of your book, here it goes: PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEIWOULDKILLATHOUSANDRODENTSANDLICKETHEMCLEANWITHMYTONGUEIFICOULDHAVEANAUTOGRAPHEDCOPYPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEMAKETHISOWORTHMYTIMESINCEIAM”WORKING”AND NEEDTOJUSTIFYBEINGONYOURBLOG.

  824. How very exciting! I have actually only just finished reading your first book and I LOVED it. I giggled so much (but only in the right places of course which was most of it). When we were camping my husband told me to stop reading it because I was shaking the whole camper trailer when I laughed silently in bed.

  827. Looking forward to the new book….mostly because I SO understood the first one. 🙂

  828. So, when you wrote about Beyonce, I shared it with my husband, who was as amused as Victor and told me this was a dysfunctional marriage and he’d never put up with me doing something like this. Months later, he’s discovered audio books and insists I listen to this incredibly funny author he found (guess who), which dissolved into an argument over which one of us discovered you first. He still bristles when I share one of your posts first.

  829. I lent my copy of your book to my best friend. She lost it in her move, thus proving my dad’s old saying…”When you lend a book to a friend, you lose two things — your book & your friend.” Looking forward to the new one, too!

  830. PLEASE send me a copy of your book! my copy was left behind accidentally while on vacation (there’s an innkeeper in croatia who is reading and and puzzled about life in america and laughing right now).

    i’d never heard fo you or your blog when i first picked up your book randomly at an airport. i smother-laughed so hard, i had to buy he book just so ppl didn’t think i was having a seizure ( a llama seizure!).

  832. I have your book and I love it. Can’t wait for the second. I would LOVE a gift card to Allie’s!! 😉

  834. Pick me, because I’d like to be picked! And I like to read! And I like to write! But, mostly, because I’d like to be picked!

  837. I’M SO EXCITED FOR THE NEW BOOK! Just a little bit. The first one changed my life….in a good way. In a “I can’t stop laughing so I must tell everyone” kind of way. Anyway….CONGRATS!

  839. FYI you do have a bear in the first book…but it’s dead and on a lift in your father’s garage. Hiding.

  840. Booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnt boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooook.
    Pweases?

  841. Congratulations on book 2!! Love your posts but especially the chicken story. It’s hysterical!

  843. I already own your book and Allie’s and I am so excited at the prospect of buying your next one. I seriously can’t fucking wait! But I know I have to.

  844. Congrats – can’t wait for the new book!!!! And if I ever saw you in SA….I might just die 🙂

  845. I loved your first book. I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard reading a book. I can’t wait to read the next one.

  847. Meh, commas, the’re so overated.
    On a different note, would love a signed copy of your book, just like everyone elses ! 🙂

  849. If you give me a copy of your book, I promise that I will never send you half a hamster. No guarantees if I’m not selected. Choose wisely.

  852. Awesome! The internet was created for people to watch cat videos. 🙂

  853. Oooh yes please! I need your book in Australia! We always get everything about 5 years after everyone else so I can read it in anticipation of receiving your second book in the next decade.

  854. I already have the Kindle edition of your first book but I’d love an autographed copy too. Can’t wait for the new book! We don’t need commas so just skip the editing and give us the raw uncut madness mwahahahaha

  855. Here’s a funny story about when I bought your first book. I went to the bookstore to buy it as a gift for my sister. I searched all over the store and couldn’t find it. I looked in nonfiction, fiction, autobiography, self help – nothing. After half an hour I tried the nonfiction section again. As I searched the shelves one last time, I heard my 2-year-old daughter pull something from the shelf. I turned to tell he to put it back and she was holding YOUR book! It was destiny. I sent it to my sister in the hopes of being able to borrow it but have yet to get it from her. Maybe someday destiny will be fulfilled.

  856. Yeah!
    I’m so excited for a new book even though it won’t be out for eons.

  857. I’m going to squee and scare the cat. So looking forward to your next book, Jenny!

  859. So I own your book, and Allie’s, and spent the last week recommending both to people around me who are not from this country in order to spread the Bloggess love around. However, I do NOT have the Flora and Ulysses book and I wanted it when I saw it. I’ll say it’s for my kids, but it’s totally for me.

  860. So glad to hear that your next book will be coming out relatively soon, your first one has been a life saver to me while i try to survive high school. thank you for writing !

  861. Allie’s book is wonderful. I keep sharing it. As an English teacher, I assure you that commas are overrated. Just ask my students. Let’s eat Grandma!

  862. You continuously amaze me. You are so real, and make really really hard, shitty experiences something people can laugh about, connect with, and learn from. You have created a space that draws people in and helps us realize we are not alone in our weirdness. Thank you for making my world a better place with a shit ton more laughter in it. I can’t wait to read your next book and laugh out loud in inappropriate places (which, seems oddly appropriate, all things considered…) You’re the best.

  863. I <3 your voice and your way of making the rest of us feel less alone.

  864. Hooray for book #2! Looking forward to reading your next one. I have an e-book version of your first one but would LOVE a hard copy, especially one that’s signed! 😀

  865. My kids are waiting for your next book. I read parts of your first one to them as nightly family time. I did edit the language, but your stories remain hysterical. Their favorite is the post it note argument. The house was covered in post its the next day. Thanks for making my kids (and me) laugh!

  867. I am so glad to hear your new book is almost here – I LOVED your first book. Made me laugh so hard!!!

  868. I have recommended your book to at least a 1023 people and told them how absolutely hysterical it is so therefore believe I warrant a signed copy by yours truly…you! THX!!!

  871. YAY!!! I am so excited. I have read your book three times already. I met you once and you helped me make a new friend. If every one of your books helps me make a new friend I will be very happy.

  873. Those voices in your head are lying! You’re first book was awesome and gave me something to smile about when i didn’t have much else to be grateful for. Im sure this book will be equally amazing!

  876. Yippee on the new book! Yippee on the chance to win your other book! You see, my library doesn’t (won’t?) carry it, and I swore off buying books because I read too much and it gets out of hand if I buy everything I read. A book store is like crack to me.

  877. Yay on semi-finishing another book! Thank you for always being real, and yourself. Somehow, your stories always seem to strike a chord with me – and make me feel less alone, and I know I’m not the only one who says that. Thank you for all you do.

  879. Have they figured out how to get gifs into books yet? I guess they would have to be ebooks…it would be scary to have one in a regular book…like you would have to have a battery for it or maybe it would be solar and you could only read it in the bright sunshine or a bright reading lamp… plus some gifs make you dizzy and you wouldn’t want people saying you make them dizzy would you? Thoughts???

  880. I love your first book with too many hearts to type! Can’t wait for the second!! My 15 year old daughter can’t wait either. I’m pretty sure that makes me a terrible, awesome parent.

  881. Awesome job on writing two books, much less one. That is a dream for 99.9% of people

  882. Your first book is on my list to buy when the fates stop conspiring to create emergencies that are always expensive. Congratulations on the second book.

  883. THANK YOU FOR SAYING WHAT SO MANY OF US THINK AND FEEL !!! the caps r not yelling at u, they are celebrating 🙂

  885. Pick me! Pick me! I got your book from the library, but they made me give it back…

  886. You rock! Can’t wait for the new book (and for the finishing of all the half-finished blog posts).

  890. Goat shoes. I found this blog by googling ‘goat shoes’. Best thing I’ve ever randomly found on the internet. And I need your book soooooo bad. Pleaseeeeee, I never win anything

  891. Congratulations! I’d love a signed copy of your book! I have a similar sense of humor but yours is far more developed and I bow to your unique viewpoint. I aspire to see the world more like you and laugh even harder at the “normals”. Much love.

  892. Hooray! And congratulations. And I can’t wait! Your first book was the only one in my experience that, when I gave it to a friend, she had it stolen by her daughter who was wondering what was so funny.
    And that happened TWICE to two different friends of mine! 🙂

  895. Hooray! And Congratulations! And I can’t wait!
    Your first book was the only one in my experience that, when I gave it to a friend, she had it stolen by her daughter who was wondering what was so funny. In which case my friend bought another copy so she’d have one of her own.
    And that happened to TWO different friends!! 🙂

  896. My cat doesn’t play with boxes. I think he’s broken. He’ll check them out when the other cats get in them. He’ll look noplussed and then goes to rub his butt on something that makes crackly noises, like a plastic bag.

  899. I’ve bought your book, but I’d love to win the opportunity to read Allie’s! It’s been on my list for a while now! And congrats on finishing the begining of your second. 🙂

  900. Maybe it’s not a bear on the cover — maybe mice in Poland are just really, really, REALLY large…and hairy…with short tails. Congrats on making it over that first hurdle for your second book!

  901. I already have your book, but I’d love Allie’s. I can’t wait for you next one.

  902. Would love my own copy of our first book. Been reading you since the chicken first stuck his metal head out. Unusual for a 57 year old man I would guess. Just so I can
    understand the new one.

  903. I love reading a book that makes me laugh out loud. I laughed so hard while reading your book that I may or may not have peed a little during certain parts. Congrats on the second book…I can’t wait!!!

  904. Super excited to hear another book is on the way and, yeah, would love an autographed copy of the first one! I’ve been trying to make time to re-read it anyway so that would kind of be a great reason to put actual important things on hold. 🙂

  906. Fluffy kittens, stinky badgers,& flying unicorns, to boot.
    pick me b/c I like you words and want some of your loot!

  908. Seriously can’t wait for your next book. I read the chapter on your overdosing on ex-lax and the “murderer/rapist” out loud to various family members, tears streaming down all our faces. Funniest thing I’ve ever read.

  909. Can’t wait to read it! Congrats & good luck with the edits!

  910. I so get you, but my husband so doesn’t. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing…I’m just gonna keep on reading and hope it works out.

  912. I’m currently reading your book and I would love to own it! 🙂

  913. I’d love to win a copy so I can read any conversations between you and Victor out loud to my bf (not that I do that with your blog posts…). I have a sneaking suspicion he and Victor would get along well.

  914. Congrats! Looking forward to reading it!! And, I’d love a copy of your 1st – gave mine away as a present and she enjoyed it as much as I did.

  915. Awesome! And so exciting! I love your first book, got it in audio format and it makes driving actually fun and takes my mind off of how dangerous driving actually is. Can wait to read the second one!

  916. Congrats on your new book! I’d love a signed copy of the 1st!!!

  917. I already have your first book and I actually bought it full price and the only thing better than your book is having two copies of your book. So yeah. Also, I never win giveaways so this will be nice and I can be like hey, I finally won something.

    Also, I cant wait till your next one comes out.

  919. Ok, I’ve been reading your blog but never had the guts to write…but I love your first book and can’t wait for the second! Your blog brightens my day and your “conversations” with your hubby always make me and my mate realize that we are not unique…and kinda boring!

  921. My daughter did one of those silly facebook quizzes called “How Will You Drink Your Jack Daniels Today”, and here’s what she got when she did it for me: Dani Everett
    You drink your Jack from a wine glass, in a jacuzzi with a taxidermist. – Then she asked, Drinking with the Bloggess? Lol She knows me too well. I need another copy of your first book for her. Can’t wait for the next one.

  922. I would love to win your book, it would really brighten up my days 🙂

  924. Yay, you! Very well done, Jenny!! Congratulations on reaching this new milestone; NOW GET IN THIS BOX!

  930. Your book was the funniest I’ve read in a long time. MUCH funnier than any book I’ve read written by a professional comedian, so I’m super excited about this new book!

  931. New book?! Yippie skippie! I loved the first one. It saved me from going into an anxious rage on an airplane. So, you really are Mother Teresa, only better.

  932. Congratulations! I can’t wait to read the new book – but I have to, so I will.
    You really should pick me to be a recipient of your first book. I loaned my copy to someone, and it never found its way back to my house. If I am so lucky to receive a copy, I will not loan it to ANYONE, especially not my big sister, the thief who stole my original copy.

  933. I’m so glad I got to meet you and have my book autographed last year. I’m looking forward to reading Allie’s book. You both have helped me immensely.

  934. Yay for number two! That sounds like something I’d say to my 3 year old stubborn girl while potty training. Oy.
    You’re a bright spot on dark days. Thanks for being here. I’m truly looking forward to your second book!
    Take care fellow whovian,
    Karla

  935. Congratulations on your second book! You are one of my heroes and your first book influenced how I live and think about my anxiety. Thank you for everything you are

  936. Gah! I’m so excited! I was second in line at your Toronto signing and can’t wait to do it again. You shared with me secrets of killing scorpions and may have saved my life.

  937. Oh, boy (just got auto corrected to oh buy) I could watch that GIF many many times 🙂
    Congrats

  938. best of luck with the editing! and kudos to you for sharing your struggles with others who have struggles. and thank you for making me chortle when I read your wonderful musings.

  939. Congrats on book two! I totally know what I’ll be asking for next time there’s a holiday that I can get stuff for!

  940. It would be great to read your book, especially if it is like your posts. You have helped me over a bad patch in my life, thank you.

  942. Short time reader, first time commenter here. (I’ve always wondered how I would feel if I said something like that, and now I know that I feel like a tool.) I am very in love with your blog. I recently found it in a search on my RSS feeder on my phone, and I giggle constantly with each post, so I generally try to avoid bringing my phone to meetings at work. I’ve sent many, many of your blog links to people. I also love re-posting your delicious web links, although, I admit that I lie by omission, pretending they are things I cleverly found on my own. Thanks for having a great blog. There’s a lot to sift through out there, and you’re a keeper.

  944. Congrats on finishing the book. I’m starting a book and I can’t guarantee much except that it will be 100% less funny than yours. I do have zombies, though. (Although, perhaps you do as well. .. Damn.)

    Seriously. Congrats!

  945. I loved your book when I borrowed it from the library and it would be awesome to have my own copy. Not at this exact moment though, as you make me laugh hysterically and that makes my ribs hurt, since I went skating without skates on my way into work yesterday. If you ever thought falling in winter was bad, imagine falling in winter when there’s a momentary warm spell to create a big, goopy mud puddle.

  946. Woohoo! Now I know the answer to the question “If you read only one book this year, what will it be?” (That may not actually be a question anyone asks)

  947. Woohoo! Now I have an answer to the question “if you could only read one book this year, what would it be?”!!!

  949. I have read your book. And, I saw you live, in person, in Portland reading your book. However, I do not own a copy of your book. I think that might be nice.

    P.S. Kuddos on getting past a giant hurdle on your newest book!

  950. Can I get both your & Allie’s books? Because I desperately want to read them both. But 3 kids = no play money :[

  952. I’m excited about the new book. And about possibly getting your old one, because I just got it from the library (which: yay, libraries, but it could be fun to have it handy at odd times).

  953. So happy for you, and looking forward to the new book, and would love an autographed copy of “Let’s Pretend…,” to go with my UN-autographed copy, so I could have a set!

  955. I would love a copy! I read a library copy and now wish I had my own! Especially for when I need a good laugh before bed…

  956. I’m going through a tough time right now, but your posts always make me smile and for that I am grateful Jenny! My 15 year old daughter convinced me to get “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” on our Kindle and I really want the paper version mostly because you can’t see the pictures very well in the Kindle version!

  961. I think there was a bear in it, a dead one on a table hanging in the car port…. so that would make a confusing cover photo….excited to hear there is a new book on the way!

  965. In all honesty, I don’t’ care if I win a free signed copy of your book. Can I please just send you the
    one I already own, so can sign it. I’ve (literally) read it while traveling halfway around the world.

  966. I already have 6 copies of your book and 2 of Allie’s, because I love borrowing them out to people.

    Another blogger (Baby Sideburns) had people donate books (I Heart My Little A-Holes) to her blog readers so that she could give out more. If you would be interested, I would love to donate 2 of each of the books so thst you can make even more awesome people feel like they finally have found people who understand that weird can be perfect, I would love to do that.

    Thank you for being exactly what we all need you to be. (Hugs)

  968. Love you and already have your book, BUT an autographed one would be even more swell! You are my kind of crazy and I appreciate you so much!

  970. Hearing your second book may come out this year makes me furiously happy. I recommend the first one to everyone I know though my excitement may scare them off because I tend to just get stared at… so, uh, sorry about that.

  971. I own Let’s Pretend This Never Happened in hard back and on ibooks. I can’t wait for the new book!!! I would love to win a signed copy so I could pass my copy on to a friend! Keep doing what you’re doing, Jenny. You give people like me relief in knowing we’re not alone! 🙂

  974. Why would anyone NOT want an autographed copy of your book?? This makes no sense to me.

  979. Yay! You did it!

    You know how you added some extra stuff to your last book and then kinda re-released it?

    Well I would love to buy an extra special Collector’s Edition pre-order when you get this one published.

    Even if it’s like a good photocopy of the extra pages from the first book, the actual second book, a picture of your cats with one of your taxidermy friends (and/or an unsold card from your shop), and an autographed card that looks like a permission slip to leave something we want to get out of.

  980. Congratulations!! That’s definitely an achievement requiring much celebration. I still need to buy your first one, though I have read it. And enjoyed it a lot. I’m trying to get my best friend to read it now. She might be too normal though. I don’t know how I ended up with with a normal best friend. I’m very, very not normal.

    But I finally did something really good for myself. I signed up for… online dating… because I flat out am not going to meet someone the way my life is right now. I work in a 90 year old lady’s home, and I take online classes, and I go to Wal-mart. I’m kind of a recluse. It’s going really well though, and one of your posts awhile ago inspired me to do this, for me. So I thought I’d share my little triumph.

  982. I can’t wait to read your next book, your first one I couldn’t read in public because I would laugh & snort. I want to buy copies for all my girlfriends. Keep up the excellent work!

  985. NEW BOOK NEW BOOK NEW BOOK SO EXCITED FOR NEW BOOK NEW BOOK THIS YEAR

    And if you pick me I would like an autographed copy because I only have the kindle edition, which is awesome but hardcopy would be nice and otherwise I’ll be waiting til we get one in at the used bookstore where I work and that could take FOREVER because I’ve noticed that books people really love don’t come through until the person dies or their parent/spouse accidentally donates their stuff. Actually, any of the books you’re offering would be nice to win.

  986. Congratulations Jenny! I can’t wait till your book comes out.

    Thank you so much for all you have shared here on this blog. It’s one of my favorite places on the Interwebs.

    And I love the cat gif. So cute!

  987. Congrats on the new book. Thanks for the cat gif, it made me happy. I would love a copy of the first one, as mine was loaned out and disappeared into the great book abyss.

  989. So excited to read your new book! The first one made me laugh and cry and I have probably bought 10 copies of it to give to friends. You inspire me.

  991. Yay, I can’t wait to read your new book, I love your blog so I’m sure the book will be a hilarious read.
    I recently finished reading your first book (I borrowed it) and it was so funny, it’s so awkward to read in class because it’s really quiet and then all of a sudden I just burst out laughing.

  997. Oh, me? Please please please… I am so not above begging. Truly. I did have a copy. But my friend’s child went swimming with it. Waaaaahhhhh!!!

  999. I haven’t read the first one yet and I missed you when you were in Oz, I would love to win a copy

  1000. Your book, just so you know, wins the (admittedly somewhat obscure but nonetheless highly important to me) title of “First Thing I Absolutely Forced Someone To Buy Me For My Birthday Whilst Refusing Other Gifts”.
    So good work. I shall be readying my purse.

  1001. Congratulations! No pressure, but am looking forward to the new book. So, while I wait, I should reread the first one, right? Or read Allie’s? Or the other one you recommend? Or all three, but not at the same time?

  1002. Do you have an idea of what will be on the cover of your second book? Also I’m definitely buying the polish version of the first book just to see what the bear looks like.

  1003. Maybe I can get a third gift from my boyfriend out of this (i.e. your new book). The first one I got was your first book (I kept sending him links to your blog posts; I’m not subtle), and the second was the Fourth Doctor’s sonic screwdriver (which I’d been wanting for ages). So, it’s a good start, but as we’ve been together for a year and a half (though, admittedly, it seems like hundreds of years), it’s paltry. Regardless, I’ll take what I can get!

    Oh, and congrats on submitting your draft. I’ve been procrastinating heavily on my thesis and been about as mobile as mashed potatoes since the winter started. So, I’m going to live vicariously through your success and progress. It’s all I’ve got.

  1004. Also, if it’s a polar bear on the Polish version, it must be about the “unwelcome polar bear at the dinner party”. If it’s not, I give up finding an explanation. Was it a polar bear Jenny? Inquiring minds want to know.

  1005. Amazing! I didn’t even know your first book existed until recently, which means now, when I’m reading your second book, I’ll be thinking you’re some kind of bizarre female version of Clive Cussler, churning out books for every holiday of the year. But you’d need to hire a ghost writer for that kind of madness. Wouldn’t that be fun, though? Well, maybe mostly for the ghost writer. And the cats. (More people to climb on.) I really loved the first book. Even though I can’t get the image of the dead squirrel in a cereal box out of my head, which is wreaking havoc on my dreams and making me very afraid of cereal. If I win a signed copy of your book, any chance it could be a signed copy of that book with the cutout hiding a dead bat? If not, I could try to recreate it with my mother’s Bible. Because I don’t believe in carving pages out of quality literature.

  1006. I am so loving the name Ferris Mewler for a cat! Have totally read your first book and found that downing a couple of glasses of wine beforehand helped a lot. Good luck with the editing – can’t wait for the new one to come out!

  1007. WOW!! Look how many people want a copy of your book!! (including me!) Congratulations! on both the great response here and on finishing the 2nd book 🙂

  1008. YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So happy for you!!!
    You deserve that feeling you have right now you beautiful, crazy lady!!

  1009. I’m so excited for the new book. I narrowly escaped a ruined vacation by the grace of your last book. Figure that out.

  1012. Your first book was the first advanced reading copy of a book I’d ever read. It was also one of my favorite books I’ve read. I’d love an autographed copy or a copy of Allie’s since I’m going to read that one eventually too. Also, that Kate Dicamillo book looks great! I’m so excited about your next one! Congratulations on being able to finish it 🙂

  1015. Oooh I want to win a copy of your book! Then I can give my copy to my boyfriend to make him read it so he can understand me better and follow along in his copy when I read chapters to him out loud in my fake British accent.

  1017. Ha! I LOVE the gif (and wish I knew how to do one). Little-Miss-de-Mina (small ginger female) is forever trying that on Big Ole Greebs (giant monster grumpy tabby male) despite the expression on his face saying ‘Fuck Off’ more clearly than if he’d said it. She never learns, he beats the crap out of her, I have to intervene…it’s like having kids but with more dead mice.

  1018. I read some great YA books when I was a nanny and I would read whatever I found lying on the stairs but since I don’t own any kids I find it weird to go into that section in bookstores.

  1019. I wanted to write something witty here to hopefully increase my chances of winning an autographed book. But it’s 6:30 in the morning and I currently have no wit.

  1022. I have a chronic illness and had sort of fallen into the pit of frustration and isolation that illness brings..I bought your book after reading that Rosie loved it and I think it literally pulled me out of the hole I had fallen into. Thank you and congrats on your new book…

  1023. Random post in hope of randomly getting picked for autographed book!

  1024. Would your Randomness stretch to the UK? If so Bio Oil will sort any stretch related marks out… Love your book! Want the second one in Polish with 2 bears on it, a boy can dream!

  1026. Congrats and can’t wait for the new book! Would love to win an autographed copy of your first one!

  1027. YAY and OMG thanks for the giggle (I need it since I’m ill – again – I had strep throat for all of January). I’m not sure I want to know what Hunter & Ferris were doing in that box O_O. I would love an autographed copy of the book, I was reading it on kindle pc (coz I don’t have a Kindle) and it kept disallowing it so I’d have to reupload it and lost my page repeatedly, so I gave up. What I’d really love is the audiobook but being in the UK it doesn’t look like that’s going to happen 🙁

    Also, you have nearly 1000 comments on this post so I thought I’d help get you there by adding to it. I usually love reading the comments on your posts but I don’t think I have the month free that it would take to read them, so I have no clue how you do it. You must be exhausted so go make yourself a wine slushie or a mimosa or several, you deserve it. 🙂

    YAY Books!

  1028. I published my first book last year and I have to admit, I didn’t much like the editing process. For me, I think it was because as I went through my writing once again I kept thinking, “Who’s going to want to buy this crap?” Ha! I’ve also come to the understanding that I enjoy the writing of the book much more than the pimping of the book. 😉 Congratulations to you!

  1031. WOuld to win your book!! Also congratulations on finishing your book! I bet its great 🙂

  1032. My book club read your first book and I adored it. I’d be honored to have an autographed copy! I’ll be sure to read the second when it comes out. Congratulations on finishing and good luck editing!

  1034. Jenny! I am so glad you have the next book done! YAY!! I can’t wait! I finally started Lets Pretend This Never Happened while getting a lot of work done on my car (which included removal of the mouse house on my engine) I had to keep reading excerpts out loud as people were curious why I was giggling…. I was afraid to start it cause I didn’t want it to be over. That’s not weird is it? Anyway, now it will be ok for me to finish it cause there is a new one. Plus I totally want Allie’s book and I am not above YA reading either. I trust you.

  1038. Wait, it’s been two years since the first book came out?! I think I’m missing a year or two. If anyone has seen my missing year please let me know where it is. Unless something bad happens in it. Then just ignore it. It’s missing for a reason.

  1039. that’s unfair, first you tell you have writers block and the next thing i hear is you’ve finished your 2nd book? I’m soooo unprepared.

  1041. I want your book! I want your book! It was my 40th b-day last Sat. and I was going to use the Amazon gift card I got to buy your book. But free is ALWAYS better!

  1042. Well, that gives me something to look forward to! Can’t wait to read #2. I like what goes on in your mind, Jenny….most of the time. And then, there are times when you seem unhinged, and I can totally relate. You’ve got a lot of support, so stay positive through the edits. Hugs from Ohio!

  1043. I wanna play! If it’s not too much of a pain, I’d love it if you’d sign book plates again for those of us who buy the book and don’t win. I’m so happy about having that first ed. of “Let’s Pretend…” with an autograph. It’s the little things, right?

  1046. Congrats on Book2!! Here’s hoping the editors are gentle . . . or at least forceful in a good way 🙂

  1047. Please pick me! Or let me mail you my copy to autograph! Pleeeeeeease! I’ll doubly love you forever.

  1049. FINALLY! I am so happy. I NEEEEEED your book b/c I buy it to give friends and still don’t own a copy ! And I’ll stop signing your name and tellling them you autographed it JUST for them.

  1050. Congrats on the finish, you should reward yourself with something fun and odd.

  1052. I’m thrilled – to see the random posts. [And also very excited your new book draft is finished, duh.] I already own a copy of LPTNH, but I’d love to read the two others you suggested. Of the foreign language versions of your book, I think I like the Turkish cover best.

  1054. Oh well now this is a dilemma. I have read your book but don’t own it and would love an autographed copy, but I also love Allie. Although since I probably won’t win anyway…. I guess it’s more of a hypothetical dilemma

  1056. That is awesome – I so envy your creativity and ability to craft a tale! 🙂

  1058. Oh my god, book! I’m so excited. For me, ’cause I get to read it, but also for you for being sort of almost finished with it. I already have your book of course, but a signed copy would be awesome.

  1060. Your first book restored my faith in my own abilities as a writer, Jenny. And my worthiness in general. I have a long way to go to finish my next book that no one is going to read, but I’ll get there by thinking of your won struggles and how deep you’ve had to dig to get past them.

    You’re an inspiration, young lady. And all you have to do to be so cool is just open that wickedly delicious brain box of yours and let the brilliance spill out like Britney Spears falling out of a limo on a Sunday morning. With no panties, of course.

  1061. me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me me!

  1063. would love, love, love the book AND Ally’s. I so wished she would blog more….

  1064. ok, so there are a thousand people on here so my odds of getting your book seems small. but hey, if you actually read all thousand+ comments, i’ll mention that my birthday is tomorrow.

  1065. I already have your book, but I’d love Allie’s!

    Also, I love your cats.

  1066. PLEASE PICK ME! ME! ME! 🙂 I have already read from the library, (twice) but, this is a book I want on my bookshelf. So…PRETTY please pick me. But, let’s be honest here….I’ll probably buy it anyway. My luck sucks.

  1067. It’s very exciting to hear about the new book, congrats! Oh how I would love a signed copy of the first. It was my “vacation read” back in 2012. Having you along side me while reading on the beach was just what I needed then – some great belly laughs and a reminder not to take myself so seriously. Thank you!

  1070. So excited about book 2!!! I have read and re-read LPTNH and Love it more every time I read it. Yay

  1071. Congrats! I always tell my students that they just need to keep writing their terrible first draft and worry about fixing it later. Here’s to working hard and seeing something through!

  1073. I’m so excited to read your 2nd book–I loved the first one (and already have a copy, so I’d love to have a copy of Allie’s book, as I love her blog, too!).

  1074. Congratulations! I’m in the editing semester of my M.A. program now. ARRRGGGGHHH! Can’t wait to read the new one. I’ve recommended your book and blog to so many people.

  1075. Just woke up to another damn ice and school delay day but was quickly cheered when I read this post. Thanks for making my dream come true with the release of your 2nd book later this year.

  1076. I’ve already got a copy of your book, but I’d love an autographed copy to keep for myself, so that I could lend my other copy out without fear of it being stolen because it’s just THAT good.
    Can’t wait for the sequel! 🙂

  1079. I loved your first book. If the second one is even half as good as the first it will be a raging success!

  1080. Yea you for completing this ambitious undertaking. I would LOVE to read your book….I am new to your blog:)

  1081. yay! congrats, I love your first book and I’m sure the second is going to be great too

  1083. If I not too late, I would love a copy of your book. I would gift it to my DIL, she needs it.

  1084. LOLOLOL at the gif. I love your cats. They have so much personality! Or you just do a great job of personifying them 😉
    PS — I WANT YOUR BOOK

  1085. You never cease to make me smile. Your blogs and posts always make me laugh. You are one talented and creatively tortured goddess!! Congrats on your new book. I can’t wait to read it. As my kids would say”is that the crazy lady that swears a lot? She’s funny!” I listened to your first book on cd in the car.

  1086. Huh, never thought that I’d see a cat that didn’t want to be in the box.

    Congrats on the book. Listen to the real editors. They are much more even keeled about us weirdos than us weirdos. 😉

  1087. PICK ME! PICK ME! I have a copy of your first book – laughed so hard i cried so many times and had to have my asthma inhaler beside me at all times (my lungs are assholes). my point is, I’d love a second copy to pass on to my friend whom I have been harassing to read your book.
    congrats on finishing #2 – hope the editing goes smoothly.

  1089. Super congrats! Remember a first draft is always perfect, because all it has to be is done! You did it! Again!

  1090. LIstening to your book and reading your blog helped me to come to grips with my um….differences. While the pleasure of eavesdropping on your bizarre take on life is quite helpful, it continues to be reading the comments to your blog posts that sustains me when life gets dark. So many others like me! I can afford to buy your books, so if you chance upon my post as the winner, please choose someone else who cannot afford it.

  1091. I Would love to win a book!!!! And I can’t wait to read you next one for the 10th time (like maybe I did the first one). You are my crack dealer and I need crack! (And by crack, I mean another book)…

  1092. I’m random and a signed copy of your book would make me so giddy! Congrats on getting the 2nd one mostly done!

  1093. Loved your first book and would LOVE an autographed copy! Can’t wait for your second. Yay, Jenny!

  1094. Pick me! Pick me! I’ll even get all my relatives in Poland to buy copies. (Maybe they can explain why there’s a bear on the cover.)

  1101. I can’t wait for your new book! I am surprised you need an editor, who needs commas? Of course my boss just told me I don’t understand where semi colons should go; I normally never use them at all. Since he pointed it out I put them all over the place, totally wrong of course…

  1102. Oh I’d love an autographed copy of your book, especially cause I have lent my copy of yours out and now it’s just lost -i have no idea who has it now and will probably never get it back. Everyone just loved it! Definitely need to check out these other 2 books now…….always up for book recommendations!

  1104. Woo hoo! Looking forward to it! Love Allie’s book. Haven’t read Kate DiCamillo.

  1105. YEA-we only have to wait a few more months for it to get released, I bought your last one for my bookclub, we all loved it-it makes me feel less stabby.

  1106. I’d love another copy! I gave mine to a friend to read, and I’ll probably never get it back. haha

  1107. I would love to win your book…. I have been on the waiting list at the library FOREVAH!

  1109. Congratulations on writing a SECOND book! I’m still working on my first one, and it’s definitely HARD. 🙂 Loved your first one, even though i accidentally gifted it to someone on a Southwest plane headed to Florida. Hope that person found it as funny as I did, up to that point. Want to finish it. Again, Congrats!

  1110. I’d love to read your book – both of them, and would especially like to start with your first one. It’s impressive how quickly you cranked those out…or am I behind? (I only recently found your site – positive reinforcement for web-surfing!) And commas are over-rated, there is plenty of other punctuation ready to serve your narrative-pausing needs.

  1112. I so would love a copy of your book! I was going to buy it once, but my husband made me leave it and told me we needed the money for food, not books.

  1114. Congratulations on finishing (for now) your second book! I’d love to read the first one!

  1115. I seriously can’t wait for your next book! Your first book made me laugh so hard I nearly peed myself on not one but multiple occasions. Your blog has definitely gotten me through some difficult times and for that – THANK YOU!

  1116. I would love a signed copy of the first book and cannot wait for the second one! I laughed out loud so many times reading your first one 🙂

  1117. I’m not a bigger commenter, but have been reading your blog forever and love it!! I want the book…… 🙂

  1118. Yay! Excited for your next book, can’t wait till it comes out. Congrats on finishing the first part of getting it made!

  1119. So glad the “monkey” is off of your back, and the biggest part is done!

  1120. I found your book when I needed it most and would love a signed copy!

  1121. Love love love this news. Can’t wait for second book. I’m currently in the process of re-reading LPTNH for the zillionth time to stay sane. Huzzah.

  1123. Writing a book seems like a much more acceptable reason to procrastinate than just homework 😀 Congratulations! Knowing you finished your work, I might be able to get motivated to do mine… tomorrow…

  1125. Yay! I can’t wait to readh the new book! Congrats on sticking with it!

  1126. Congrats on the new book!! The first one was awesome, so I can’t wait for the next one. (And I didn’t find the first one confusing at all. Not sure what that says about how MY mind works . . .)

  1127. Congrats, Jenny on a second book! My bestie from the Ukraine just found out about your book yesterday (even though I talk about you all the time) so she would be gifted the signed copy that I will hopefully win!

  1128. I gave two copies of your book away for Christmas and I have yet to read it! Should have read one before I wrapped it I guess. Your blog makes my day.

  1129. Congratulations on finishing the new book! I intermittently work on a book I’ve been writing for six years. Pretty sure it’ll never be done. 🙂

  1130. Wow, you have a gazillion comments but I would so love a copy of your book that … here I am, adding myself. Congratulations on finishing the second. Damn fine achievement 🙂

  1131. Yay! Congrats on finishing up your book! I would love to win a copy of your first book!

  1132. Yaa! A new book! I’d love to have an autographed copy of your first to give to my daughter!

  1133. I read your first book and loved it so much I had to give it away. I contemplated buying like a dozen more to give to more people who should read it, but I don’t have that kind of money. Do you know where I could buy it in bulk? That would be great! Of course, if you send me a book I will just turn around and send it right back to Texas, because many of the people that should read it live like an hour from you. And they are awesome, but not all of them. Some of them suck but I would still give them your book so that maybe they would suck less. Maybe. Or it may jsut make them more spoiled and hence such more. Bah! OR you could jsut send me Allie’s book. She is amazing too.

  1134. I’ve already got an autographed copy of your first (awesome) book but I’d LOVE to read one of the others you recommended!!!

  1135. I love that Patrick Rothfuss reviewed your book! It makes me want to get the audio version, too 🙂

  1136. Congratulations! If you need an editor who will make you feel warm and fuzzy about commas, just let me know. 🙂

  1139. GAHH — I would love an actual Jenny autographed copy – please make it out to Kelly, dedicated Lawsbian. It will replace all the other copies that I buy my friends and then stalk them as they read each chapter.

  1140. Congrats on finishing new book and wishes for a painless as possible edit. Thanks for opportunity to win your first book – I loved it and would cherish an autographed copy!

  1144. Sometimes when I am having a really bad day I read your posts and think…yeah, I’m not crazy after all. Thanks for that!

  1145. I’ve given 6 copies of your book as presents and bought at least 3 for myself, but I always seem to lend them to people who don’t give them back! Which is completely understandable, I think. Can’t wait for the next book!

  1147. CoNgRaTs and I can’t wait to read it! While in college I worked at a local bookstore and would hand sell your first one all of the time! Now I just buy it and give it as gifts…can’t wait to do that with the second one!!

  1148. YAY!….WOO HOO!…HURRAH!…and all that jazz!! Now, send me the book. Pretty please with unicorns and taxidermied monkeys on top (like cherries, ya know)!

  1150. I LOVE your first book. And you are NOT crazy, because if you are, that means I am too because I totally “get” you. Can’t wait to read the next one!

  1153. Congrats on finishing the book!!! I’d love to win a copy of the current one – in fact, I have a friend to whom I would give it for her birthday this summer. I’m forever sending her encouraging posts from you re: “depression lies.” Because it does. And because I want to be sure that she knows that I enjoy being her friend in whatever state of mental health she is. I’m not sure she’s convinced – and I don’t mind repeating it.

  1154. Loved the first one – super happy to hear the next one is on its way!!! 🙂 Congrats!

  1155. I’m so excited that your new book will be coming out. I loved your last one.

  1158. Congrats!!! Your second book is going pretty high on my list of things to look forward to.

  1159. Congrats on finishing your second book! I loved the first one! I wouldn’t mind replacing mine with an autographed copy.

  1160. I am so excited for your new book! I plan on buying this one, but I was too poor for the last one and borrowed it from the library. Literally laughed out loud with that one though, my husband thought I was nuts. More so than he already does. It was awkward.

  1161. First my co-worker’s romance novel hits Amazon, then an old friend’s book about New Orleans beer hits Amazon, now yours is on its way…time for me to get moving on my writing goals….you guys overwhelm me. And yes I’d like to be on the list.

  1162. I have both your book and Allie’s book. So I don’t know why I’m commenting. I guess I can keep the signed one and give away my other copy?

  1163. Congrats on finishing your second book! I would love to win the first one, so I can catch up before the second one comes out phew!

  1164. Congrat’s on finishing your second book! Would love own your first, I’m cheap and borrowed it from the library.

  1166. So my comment is a drop in the bucket, here, but I’d love to win a copy!

  1167. I wish I had bought the one with the extra chapter in it. I will trade you mine for a signed one! and show you pictures of my amazing, huge fairy village outside. 🙂

  1168. I love it. I bought your last book as an e-book and totally related to a lot of your growing-up stories (which is probably good AND bad–how many people understand what a deer sweater is??).

    I actually saw it at Barnes and Noble the other night and got all excited, until I remembered I ALREADY BOUGHT IT. But the real one was sure tempting. Can’t wait to see #2.

  1169. YAY!!!! I’m so thrilled that the new book will be out soonish!! Congratulations!

  1170. I loved your first book so much that I might re-read it. <— HUGE compliment because I don’t re-read many books. You should obviously give a free copy to me! I would love a second copy of your book to give to my mom or sister, both of whom would love it, but I’m also excited to hear that you’re writing a second book. I am salivating at the mere thought!

    If you don’t give me your book, I’ll just go read The Outsiders. Because I love YA books and can’t nobody tell me they ain’t good. (Is my Southern showing?)

  1172. I would totally love having a signed copy. Especially given I’ve nearly worn my existing copy out from re-reading it.

  1173. I still havent read your book. I want to, very badly, as my life has turned to shit in the last 8 weeks and I need something to pick me up. I mean, besides anti-anxiety drugs, which I take in spades.

  1177. Congrats! Finishing a book is quite an accomplishment! I’ve got three in the works but have never finished one. Fear is a bitch.

  1178. I would love to win a signed copy! Can’t wait for your new book to come out!!!

  1179. I’m so excited for another book by you! I might even spring for hardcover so I can have it faster. Oo and I’ll find a holiday so someone else can buy it for me. Thought it would be way cooler if you signed it.

  1180. So excited for the new book! Even more so for the accompanying audiobook!

  1181. I already have two copies of your book (one each hard cover and paperback) so I’d love to have a GC to get Allie’s too because she’s awesome. 🙂

  1182. Would love to have a copy of your book… and congrats on the new one!

  1183. That animated kitty gif (along with your commentary.dialogue) just made my afternoon. I cannot believe I haven’t made time to read your 1st book yet, but I will blame the small human who has taken over my life. I’d love to win one. CONGRATS on the 2nd book!

  1184. Can’t wait to read your new book. You should be so proud of yourself!

  1186. I am SO psyched to read your new book. AndI would love to have an autographed copy of LPTNH. When I love a book like do yours, I often feel compelled to give it away and immediately replace it. In this case, however, I would selfishly keep it for myself and generously give away my ordinary copy, which I will then replace with another ordinary copy to give away, ad infinitum.

  1187. Congratulations on finishing your book, I can’t wait to order it! I would love another copy of your first one since I own the hard cover and paperback but haven’t received them back from the people who “borrowed” them. They are really slow readers, I guess, or they sold them or something.

  1188. Huzzah for the new book! And for [at least temporarily] scoffing at those inside-the-head voices, because you are pretty much the best. Like, objectively. This is math.

  1189. So I cannot wait for the new book. I have read the first one a million times – and read aloud several sections to my husband just so he would understand my snorting and guffawing at 2 a.m.

    I have the Kindle version of your first book, so a printed, signed copy would be a great gift for ME! I could use it to make several work friends jealous.

  1190. I’m so excited for your book to come out and know I will love it as much as your last one!

  1194. Congratulations on finishing the book! It’s been on my to-read list for a while! 🙂

  1196. GET THE SHIT IN HERE! Awesome. Love cat videos! I’d love a signed copy of your book! I bought LPTNH for my kindle. So there’s no real way of signing that without ruining it. ha ha ha. SUPER excited not only for your new book, but for the tv show! wooo hooooo!!!! (tell me the tv show is still happening)

  1198. I need to laugh until I cry, so I would love a copy of your book. It’d be good tears, I swear. Okay, possibly bitter tears as I wonder why the fuck I can’t write funny things, but there’d be more good tears than bitter. All of them would be salty.

  1199. Congrats on the new book! I just started reading here and I’m so glad I found a blog to follow that is real and relatable. Thanks for sharing!

  1201. “It’s made for kids but if you don’t read children’s or YA books you’re missing out on a lot of good shit. ”

    When I was a little kid, all I read was non-fiction. I went through every C.B. Colby book the school libraries had, for example.

    I remember one of my teachers saying something to me about that, and my telling her “Fiction is gross!” She was highly amused by that. But at the time, the fiction that was coming out for kids my age was vapid, boring, and condescending. (I hadn’t learned the word “condescending” yet.) I liked adult books like Fredrick Forsyth and Arthur Hailey because they had what was, to me, the valuable property of “making things seem real-like”. (“Verisimilitude” was another word I hadn’t learned yet.

    So my point is: where were all these good children’s and YA books when I was younger? What’s changed so that all this good shit is out there now? I’m not disputing that there is good shit out there: I have nephews and nieces, I’ve thumbed through some of their YA books, and I know The Bloggess is right. But what happened to bring this about?

  1202. Oh I just bought Hyperbole and a Half last night on a whim at Shopper’s Drugmart of all places!! I only wish it was longer it was so cute 🙂 I also have your book.. I have a thing for blogger books apparently. ALSO I tweeted at you one day but my twitter is blocked so I dnno what I was thinking but they sell your book at the campus shop in my little Northern Ontario university. I was so excited to see it!

  1203. “This is great, but have you ever considered using commas? Because most people find them quite nice.”
    That totally reminds me of conversation I had with an English teacher once that ended with, “How about if I just leave three commas at the end of every sentence and you can place them wherever you want?,,,”

  1204. Shit! There’s 1,194 comments! I’ve never seen this many comments on a blog. Ever. I’d be happy to get 94. Really. If I had 1,194…well…now it’ll be 1,195 comments, I don’t think I’d care what my editor said. No, I’m completely lying. I would care way too much. Am I rambling? Yes, I’m rambling. I guess what I meant to say, before I was overcome by the immensity of your comment numbers, ’cause…wow…that really is A LOT of comments. You should really celebrate that shit, Jenny. Oh, I was saying…what was I saying again? Um…see, this is how my mind works. It doesn’t. Pffftt…..Oh yeah…I’m stoked that you’ve got another book in the works! Congrats!

  1206. OMG! I’m so excited that you finished the first draft of your book. I absolutely loved the first book. It was one of the few books that I’ve read that I literately couldn’t put down until I finished it. My husband thought I was crazy when I explained some of the things that I burst out laughing at, which remembering how much I loved that book makes me even more excited to read your next book. I read your book in electronic form and would love a hard copy of it <3

  1208. Yay! Congratulations! I loved book one and I’m excited to read book two!

  1209. Your book has been in my cart with Amazon for over a year. If I win I can finally remove it!

  1210. Stupidly have your book to one of my grown children. I’ll never see it again. Need another copy so I can give it to my other son and never see IT again.

  1212. AWE shit I need a copy of that stat! Can’t wait for the second one to come out!

  1214. Congratulations! I can’t wait to read your second book, I loved your first. I read my sister’s copy (with your signed label), then borrowed the audio version from the library. If I am randomly selected, I would love a soft cover book, so I can read the bonus chapter. I loved the article about your editor, I’m sure she will be gentle and I will order when you announce it on your blog.

  1215. oh. my. gawd. I’ve been waiting for this day since I started listening to the first one. So excited. I am reading your blog at work and I just yelped for joy and had to explain myself to my coworkers and they are equally excited. 😀

  1217. I just ordered a copy from Better World Books (I buy a book, they give away a book for free) but I’d happily prefer an autographed one, which would then allow me to give away the one I just bought. This would mean one purchased book would equal THREE free books (one BWB gives away, one you give away, and one I give away). EvERYONE wins!

  1218. I’d love a copy…although, if I don’t win, I will probably end up buying it soon so there’s absolutely no incentive whatsoever for you to give it to me free. Nice job, me! :o(

  1219. Congrats! Just remember: you’re in the editing stage of your SECOND book! That’s amazing—there are many out there (myself included) that haven’t even managed to FINISH their first book and get an editor, publisher, etc. So you’re on a roll and I look forward to reading it!

  1222. Yay! Don’t listen to those stupid people. Commas are overrated. I’m looking forward to having the new book to scare my carpoolers with. They get weirded out at me laughing in the back seat “all by myself”. They don’t get that a book is some of the best company you can get, and yours requires laughing out loud, a lot.

  1223. So excited to hear you have finished your second book. The first one made me laugh out loud! I even read parts of it to my husband, and he thought it was funny. Yaaay! I would love to win a copy of your new book. 🙂 Please, and thank you!

  1226. You forgot to close the parentheses in your first paragraph. I miss editing you. Lol.

    (I’m so bad at this writing stuff that I still don’t even see the missing parentheses. Honestly, I have issues. ~ Jenny)

  1227. Hearing (reading) you’ve finished writing your second book just made my whole day. Possibly my week. Congrats!

  1228. I am posting for my wife because I want her to get the free swag. SO PICK THIS RANDOM post. I’m a fan, but she is very like you. Only she collects live animals… Victor has it easy.

  1229. Wasn’t there a bear in the book? I thought there was a bear in the book. Just maybe not a live one. And not even a taxidermied one.

  1230. Your book is the best ever — I have it in hardcover and paperback, and I would love to have a signed copy. I’ll definitely pre-order the book as soon as it’s available!

  1231. I don’t need an autographed book because I got you to sign mine back when it came out, but congrats on the second. I can’t wait to trek across the states to get you to sign that one as well!

  1234. I’m SO excited to read your second book, congrats! I hope it comes with a tiny taxi-dermied half hamster.

  1235. Hooray for you! Your book and your blog make me laugh out loud every day. Thank you for being so awesome.

  1236. There is a bear in book 1. Hanging high on a table. See I did read it all. Many sections more than once. Some WAAAYYY more than once, so I totally need a new book. And I totally need you to come back to Dayton, because I just love you.

  1237. If you haven’t already picked, please consider this a random post. Can’t wait to read your new book. Please make sure SF is on your tour!

  1238. Yay on getting the second book finished. Here’s hoping the editing process isn’t too stressful. If it is just get more boxes out for Hunter S. Thomcat and Ferris Mewler to play with. Cat gifs are always entertaining. I would love an autographed copy of your book. I’ve had to go on a waiting list at my local library for your first one. Still waiting.

  1239. Loved the first book so much I’m afraid the second will feel like cheating… But I’ll get over it 🙂

  1240. Do you find it odd that there are so many of us that actually “get you”? I am a PROUD follower!! And congratulations on the new book!! I can’t wait!!!!

  1241. Congrats on turning in that draft! Woo! Very exciting! Am already looking forward to it!!
    (sorry for the late comment – was too busy at work yesterday to read your blog! =)

  1242. HORRAY! I AM HAPPY! I asked you when you were in Seattle if I was going to have to wait 11 years for your next book because I am old and I might not make it and now I stand a sorta good chance!!! I will be so dead by your third book…but I’ll get two in! I am sure it will be just as great if not better than the first. See you on your book tour in Seattle.

    And I already have a signed copy of your book…and it is on my Kindle…so I’m good…thanks.

  1243. Congratulations on finishing the new book!
    Now I just need to read the old one… If there only was some awesome way to get it…

  1245. I’m embarrassed to say I haven’t read your first one. So clearly I need to win it!

  1246. I’ve read your first book 4 times… still laugh out loud. Thanks for getting my ass through some hard times… Will wait patiently for the next book to come out… even though us Yukoners are known for our ‘laid back attitude and stance… I’m not one of them… GAWWWW need second book now!

  1247. congrats! I’m sure it’s going to be great. I already have the books, so don’t need to win.

  1250. I’m so looking forward to reading the next book but feel free to send me an Autographed copy of the first one anyway ’cause I keep having to buy copies for other people and I’d love to have a fancy one of my own!

  1252. Congratulations! I haven’t found a copy to read yet, so my very own signed one would be excellent. Thanks!

  1253. FORTHELOVEOFKITTENS. I AM SO FREAKIN’ EXCITED. I can’t waaaaittt to read your next book and then discuss it’s hilarity with my friends! Also, the love for Allie makes me so happy! It’s so rare that 2 internet-based adorations come together (apart from in fanfic. OMG: Rule 34. IT’S OUT THERE SOMEWHERE. I HAVE SOME HUNTING TO DO..)

  1254. Somehow left my comment on the Jesus tank post. It was all about wanting to read your books out loud to my 6 th grade language arts classes to teach memoir writing. I would substitute words like goldfish and broccoli to keep it age–appropriate. Maybe after spring break. Springtime At a middle school needs some levity. Thanks for always making me smile. I think you are tremendous!

  1256. Yay you for finishing!!!!!! Finishing is the hardest. It’s not my favourite.

  1258. I already have your book, so I’m hoping to get Allie’s with this comment! 🙂

  1259. ok…I introduced my 19 year old daughter to your book…she LOVED the book…I then told her about this blog…she now reads and messages me about YOU…She is supposed to be in her college classes … she was so excited about your next book that I will gladly help you edit…You are officially her favorite new writer.

  1260. You give me hope that there really can be successful peculiar people. I’m hoping to be one too. Congrats on finishing your book!

  1262. Congratulations! I can’t wait to buy three or four copies of your next book too! (It was a fantastic gift idea for all my friends and family who like to laugh a lot – including the two I brought back with me from the UK).

  1263. I tried to read through the 1200+ comments to see if someone already helped jog your memory, but I couldn’t because I don’t have the attention span to do so. I do, however, have the attention span to prove to myself that I wasn’t imagining a photo of a bear coined FrankenBear lofted in your dad’s carport on page 245. Clearly, I loved the first book and can not wait for the second book. Also, you’re welcome for the memory jog, if I am the first to bring this up and if I am not – well…just well..

  1264. If ant wait to read your next book. Will it have a special edition that comes witha. 50%off hamster? If so I’ll just stick with the regular book.

  1265. I was at a museum recently, looking at a display of antique board games and toys. A trio of taxidermied squirrels playing poker caught my eye, and I thought of you. Before becoming a Bloggess fan, I would have thought, “How…strange.” Now I think, “How strangely…heartwarming.”

  1266. Congratulations on finishing your book! I’d love a copy of your last one!

  1267. So excited for the next book. The last one had the whole family laughing out loud from various rooms of the house as they read it.

  1268. You made me very happy, happy. Had a craptacular week and you helped make it less so. Am pleased you finished your next book! Yes.

  1271. I need your second book so I can loan it to my friend who loaned me you first one (which I didn’t return because my children are reading it (there of age to read it)). Sorry for my english, I’m french speaking.

  1273. I’d love a copy of your book – read on it my kindle and would love a print-version too.

    But I’d also love Allie’s book and that other one looks kind of interesting too.

    OMG life-sized horse floor lamp? My cats would LOVE that shit! (it took me 5 tries to get life-sized spelled properly — it’s been a long week today)

  1275. Congratulations on finishing your second book! I have to add, that getting an AUTOGRAPHED copy of the first would be pretty kick-ass.I live in Canada though, so maybe you’re all “shipping to Canada? No thanks.” But I’m due to have my third baby any day now, so it could be a baby shower gift!

  1278. I am commenting because A) you rock and 2) I am confused (and now saddened/ashamed) that I don’t have my own website. I was just going to write “pick me” but then when I put in a comment there are asterisks by “name” and “email” but not by “website”. And now I feel like a loser for not having my own website. Should people have their own websites? Anywho, happy Tuesday.

  1282. Congrats! I’ve been reading your blog for over a year now. You are both hilarious and incredibly helpful (dealing with grieving/depression stuff sometimes). Thanks for writing!

  1283. How much would I have to pay to get an autographed copy of your unedited NEW book now? she said, salivating and crying at the same time

    Actually, I want it for my husband’s birthday, which is on March 17th. That’s right, my Italian husband born on St. Patrick’s Day. laugh Yes,I’m the Irish dancer in a wheelchair. I know nothing about irony. XD

    Congrats sweetheart! I can’t wait to get the new book. When do you come to Phoenix again? 😀

  1284. just today i gifted your first book (audio version) to a friend for her birthday! i bought one for myself as soon as they available on audio, so i can predict securely that i’ll buy your second book as soon as it’s out. Yay you!

  1286. Pfft. Commas are over-rated. Stream of consciousness is where it’s at baby.

  1287. I just wish one time God in heaven would let me be picked, at random of course, for a copy of your book. I have been unemployed and on food stamps so I can’t afford to buy either one of your books . I love you dearly and all your quirky ways and anything you write just makes my day. not to name drop but I am a friend of one of your close friends in Memphis, not that that matters so here is my comment. I know this book will be as good as your last one, which I would love to read but I digress. now this is my comment.

    (You win. Yay! And I’ve been there with the unemployment and crap and it totally sucks, but it does get better. But instead of a single copy I’m just going to send you a $75 gift card so you can buy lots of books, because books make life easier because you get to escape into someone else’s. I’m going to stop talking now. Check your email. ~ Jenny)

    (Updated: The card bounced back and said your email was undeliverable. Just email me and we’ll get it fixed. jenny@thebloggess.com ~ Jenny)

  1288. I must say, still a little haunted by the taxidermy
    Frogs in tutus at my adolescent parents favorite
    Resale/demolition shop.

  1289. I would love to win a copy! I’m a poor college student who needs something to break the monotony of physics and calculus. Take pity on my brain! 😉

  1290. This is so exciting! Is it awful that I feel a bit relieved that I’m not the only one who finds it sickening when the pretend voices become real voices saying everything negative you’ve ever thought to be true. Not that I wish the fraud police on anyone – just glad to know I’m not alone in it!

  1291. Can’t wait for the new book! And honestly a copy of the first one from your wonderful self would certainly find a very happy home with me. I have the Ebook already, but that’s not as much fun to pull out and show people. Seriously though….my life doesn’t totally suck, so no good sob story to entice you, but seeing as how I’m in the middle of a divorce from a guy that couldn’t find humour in the whole metal chicken saga….it would totally be a justified “screw you” to him that would make me smile just to see it on my mantel everyday. Plus…I’m Canadian and would totally be willing to trade you some amazing maple syrup for it.

  1292. Yay! Another book to devour. It’s like giving birth. But I’d hate to be pregnant for 2 years. Can you imagine?

  1293. Hei!

    I would love a copy of your book. See I managed to recommend your book to a friend of mine, a really hip and trendy flight-attendant who’s always on top of cool stuff like good books. I was really proud that I, a humble middle-aged officeworker, had discovered something new and chic (thanks to Patrick Roothfuss’ blog). Until my firend asked to borrow the book….

    Ulla from Finland

  1294. Holy shit!! The promise of a free book brought almost 1300 comments!! Since I like the idea of feeding your cause, I will buy a book, instead of hoping to get the free one. The 1300 is pretty impressive though. What would happen if you offered something like free pancakes or say…free condoms?

  1296. Congratulations! If it comes out this year, I know what I’m getting myself for Christmas.

  1297. Yay for a second book!! I loved your first one and was literally laughing out loud for most of it. My husband thought I was nuts. (Which probably am a little bit.)

  1299. I have your book but I want a signed copy too. I’m greedy like that. Although that means I’d probably loan out my original copy so if I won I’d be more giving, not greedy…

  1300. Congrats! I still need to read the first book (because I’m a procrastinator and a single mom).

  1304. Normally I’m too nervous to post, but I can’t pass up the chance to get your autograph. An online friend shared a picture of her with you on your book tour with The Nipple. I recognized it imediatly. It was awesome.

  1305. Yay, that’s awesome! I’ll help with editing, I actually love editing. Weird I know.

  1307. Just talked my new formed mommy-book-group (which needs a good name, so a little help, please?) into reading your first book as our first selection.

  1309. I love free things, but there are an ungodly amount of comments on this post. The odds of me winning are approximately 1 in eleventy-billion, so….

  1310. I still don’t have your book. I am a terrible person, but now I have a great excuse to kick me in the butt to finally get it (and read it). Must finish before the new one comes out. Yay!

    ps – not to bribe you but I’ll totally give you an awesome review in my blog if I win your book. hell, I’ll give you a good review anyway but this will totally help the process out 😉

  1312. I’m leaving a comment because I’d love a free copy of your book and I just spent all my money on Reese’s eggs. Shutup, I’d had a bad day, and maybe getting your book will cheer me up. I’m a nurse, my patient yelled at me very angrily, and I got a mildly-not-great performance review, and it really screwed me up. It doesn’t matter though, since you said you’ll choose the winners randomly and won’t read this.

    But all that really happened. Seriously.

  1316. CONGRATULATIONS!!! That is a great achievement! I don’t envy the editing stage though [shudder]. Looking forward to reading it.

    p.s. (When I wrote CONGRATULATIONS what was really in my head was CONGRATULATIONS BITCHES! and I am not exactly sure why but it seemed madly appropriate until the angel on my shoulder kicked me in the ear and told be to back the cursor up. So if you like the idea of CONGRATULATIONS BITCHES! instead of just CONGRATULATIONS!!! then please take that one instead. I’m generous like that. Heck – have both of them!)

  1317. Wow! I wondered why there were so many comments today. Congrats on finishing up the first draft. Editors are wonderful people with a very difficult job. I think they need more chocolate. 😉

  1323. Congratulations!!!!!
    You beat Patrick Rothfuss, although in fairness he is working on the third book in his series, but his book was supposed to be done by now anyway….
    He’s busy listening to all the other books that we have been reading waiting for his book. LOL I was so excited you made the cut.

  1325. And it’s really your first book in the box, saying to the second one, “Get in here, you’ve really got see this!”

  1326. Yea! I hope I win because I am too poor to buy your book on Kindle and I respect you too much to just read a pirated copy but I also really want to read it.

  1327. I actually checked your book off Bookmobile in order to balance the gloom of Amy Winehouse’s biography, and it worked! You are one funny girl.

  1329. Oh I am so excited for the new book. I loved the first one and I loved meeting you in Phx. Looking forward to it again.

  1331. Congrats on finishing your next book! I haven’t had an opportunity to read your first book yet, but I love your blog and all the work you do, so I know it won’t be disappointing.

  1333. I’m so happy that you’ve got another book coming out! Yay for adding joy and happiness and confusion to the world!

    Also…I need a book. As in. Need. Now. I bought it as a christmas present for others, and accidentally gave them all away and forgot one for me!

  1334. We want to read your book, but we’re too lazy to go get it. I feel like this is a problem you would appreciate. 🙂

  1337. You’re done? Squeee! I can’t wait to read it!

    P.S. I already have your first book, so if by some miracle I win, I’d love a giftcard for Allie’s book!

    You rock!

  1338. Earlier I watched some dude, on a four-wheeler, wearing a bandolier of Bud cans, whip around a dangerous curve in the road in front of my parents’ house at what I would label an ‘unsafe’ speed (he went to the plaid). I imagine you are having a fun day yourself. But ask yourself: are you having as much fun as that guy?

    Words to live by.

    Anyway, can I have a book? With yer name all fancified in it? Or Allie’s, that’s also quite lovely?

    Please and thank you with kitten kisses on top.

  1339. I got my wife a copy of your first book because I think she loves you more than me. You probably have this happen a lot. I think she would leave me if it was signed. She might not. That may not be a giant rooster knocking on your front door.

  1340. I WOULD LOVE TO WIN YOUR BOOK!!!! I’M TOTALLY BROKE – SO just literally had to talk myself out of buying it RIGHT THIS MOMENT with my tax refund. Seriously. I argued with me for a little bit. The gif of the cats didn’t help cause it made me want to read the book even more cause you crack me up. But even if I dont win, I’m sure eventually I will buy it. Eventually. I promise. Kind of. Capital One would probably be pissed, but eh, I’ve already pissed them off enough. (THAT said – I am working my ass off and start a part time job Sunday – cause, my debt is my problem, and I’ma pay that shit off on my freaking own…. just in case anyone was judging). End Reply.

  1341. Congrats — I’m looking forward to the second book! Except now I have to go back and read the first one again so I won’t be confused, but it’s okay because I haven’t peed on (or in) any furniture lately and that squirrel-as-a-puppet story always makes me leak like a sieve.

  1343. Congrats on the second book! You should demand they print a hologram image(s) on the cover so you can basically put a cat .gif on it. That would work in any country/language.

  1345. Whew, I think I hurt myself trying to get to the bottom. Which means there are a LOT of comments so the odds aren’t in my favor but hey! Who knows! I own the book already but an autographed copy would be awesome!!!

  1348. OOOOH! I cannot wait for your next book! Allie’s book is also quite awesome. I wish I had a physical copy, though.

  1349. Congratulations on finishing the first draft of your book! I’m still on my first draft of my first one, and probably will be forever. …and cats! OMG! Okay, so I’ve read a few of your posts and I’m totally gonna subscribe! You = funny!

  1350. I want to win your book so that I can give it to my best friend in memory of the afternoon that we spent laughing/crying/drinking while both reading the E version. She’s really great and deserves an autographed book. I, on the other hand, deserve nothing.

  1353. Congrats on finishing and good luck with the editing! (I’m an editor and it’s not always easy to tell someone how to improve what they’ve written. I’m sure it’s much harder from the other side, though.)

  1354. Hi! I don’t really want a free book so much, but I would love an autographed copy, I’m more than willing to buy thrpe book. I’ve actually bought three paper copies and two Kindle copies for myself and friends. So, first, if you are reading this, I’m impressed that you got this far considering the number of comments — lol. But if you can let me know how to get an autograph, I would really appreciate it. Thank you!

  1356. YAY for book #2!!! PLEEEEASE come to Portland OR on your next book tour!!!!

  1357. I loved your first book, portions of which I read out loud to my husband who hadn’t heard me swear before then. It was awesome. Now I swear all the time.

  1358. Your audiobook saved my sister and me from killing each other on our drive from Boston to Austin last summer. Looking forward to the next one. Also, free books are cool.

  1359. Your audiobook saved my sister and me from killing each other on our road trip from Boston to Austin last summer. Looking forward to the next one. Also, free books are cool.

  1360. I cannot WAIT until your 2nd book comes out! the first one had me in tears (laughing) most of the time, so people at work tending to shy away. (thanks for that too)!.

  1361. I cannot wait for the new book! I’m re-reading the first one! And also thank you for introducing me to Allie Broch – I love both of you equally I think 😉

  1362. Hooray! well done you! I have Allie’s book but only got yours on kindle and I would love love a signed copy of it.

  1363. Oo ooo me me! I’m not normal! I’d totally understand your books! I’m so excited! I could read the books almost back to back! Congrats!

  1364. Congratulations! I have the audio book but I would LOVE the hard copy 🙂

  1365. Your’s or Allie’s?! These are the two books I keep happening upon in bookstores and thinking, ‘Yes! I want these!” and then trying to decide between them so as to be a responsible person, and then wandering dolefully away because I want them both and I can’t decide and so I get neither. I punish myself, instead of just buying them one at a time. THIS MIGHT SOLVE THAT PROBLEM.

  1366. How exciting! You wrote a freaking book….another one! That’s crazy and you should be so ecstatic! I loved your first one – got me laughing literally out loud on a plane!

  1367. I am actually a relatively new reader so I haven’t ready your first book yet. I would love a copy! You make me laugh and that is something I am in desperate need of.

  1369. Huzzah! And, I realize that this is a post old because I’m just now catching up on reading the blog this week, but – congrats on your super-awesome review by Patrick Rothfuss! I love him (and he needs to get his third book finished, like, yesterday)!

  1370. Can’t even tell you how excited I am about the next book! I audiobooked the first book to listen to when road rage takes over and even my husband loves it. You’re a miracle worker, basically! Hooray!

  1371. Wow. Lots of comments. People wanting free shit, I suppose. Anyway, it’s me again. You know, your totally not stalker fan that also loves Wil. Anyway, just wanted to be a voice that says fuck commas, you’re awesome. You made me hurt my throat from snort- laughing.

    Okay. I should shut up now before you call the cops….

  1373. Oh yeah, and free shit is good, but encouragement is better. Isn’t it nice to know that all these people want your book? (this totally should not count for the drawing because it’s a second post by the same person, and it’s also a clarification and continuation of the first post. Really, it shoud be an edit of the first post. Is that possible?)

  1377. Hope springs eternal COMMA or so the half FOOLS say.
    I would love your autograph 😉

  1378. Awesome! I just gifted your first book to a friend. Now she can look forward to more without having too long of a wait! (Although I’m sure any wait is totally worth it!)

  1380. I WANT YOUR BOOK…because I gave my copy away to a friend in need, and now I feel like my life is no longer whole…

  1382. Hope I’m not too late to enter the drawing. I’m on a book diet (being out of work for 2 years means cutting some very important things out of the budget), which makes me very sad because, well, books.

    Congrats on finishing Round One of Book Two!

  1383. OMG I LOVED YOUR LAST BOOK!!! Let’s Pretend this Never Happened has left me greatly unsatisfied with other books that were “promised to make you laugh out loud”. Your book was amazing. To hear that you’re working on a second one (and the first full draft is finished!! GOOD JOB!) makes me happy beyond reason. GOOD LUCK! and I look forward to reading your second book (and possibly winning a signed copy of the first). <3

  1384. Let’s pretend this never happened is the funniest book I’ve ever read. (No offense – meaning I don’t mean to make fun of your reality) The chapter where you get lost driving and you call Victor to find out where you are and get some help in getting home or wherever it was that you were going was by far the most hysterical thing I’ve ever read. It was so funny it pissed off my husband. I was on the couch reading, then lightly giggling, then laughing until I was writhing around like a fish out of water and laughing so hard I was silent with tears rolling down my face while I grabbed at my crotch to keep from peeing myself all the while my husband yelling ” What the hell is so funny?..Tell me…God your’e annoying….what could be so funny?” and me saying “You won’t understand, you have to read the book, there’s no way I can describe it to you….she’s lost…” all while trying to catch my breath and not pee my pants. I couldn’t describe it to him. So, so funny. I had to leave the room just so I wouldn’t annoy him anymore, all because of you. But no worries, screw him, I’ll buy your next book. Can’t wait. Kuddos to you.

  1385. My sister sent me your book and it was the funniest Damon thing I ever read. I would sit and laugh while tears streamed down my face and then I would have to share. I have lost count of how many people I have told about your book. I also downloaded copy to my kindle so I can read any random section when I need a good laugh. So looking forward to the new book. You are AWESOME!!

  1388. I want the book. I once read the Harry Potter scar part of the book OUT LOUD to select friends at a church retreat and we laughed until we cried. Because that’s the kind of church we are.

    Please book?

  1389. I hesitated to forward this post of yours onto my friends because, well, I’m single and 30 and have already met my weekly “forwarding gifs and jpegs of cats and dog doing stupid things but being really funny at it” email quota with these same friends, but I sent it because we all think you’re the best and I know my friends won’t judge me…not for the animal forwards anyway. Can’t wait to read the next book. Keep on keepin’ on, Bloggess!

  1390. Congratulations on completing #2. I came to your site today needing some cheering up, and this is wonderful news. I’ve read the first book umpteen times. It makes the world a little less humbug and a little more hootenanny. It might be too late, but I’d love an autographed copy of the first one. When I’m depressed, I open my copy of the first book (which, if I received an autographed copy, I would give away), randomly open it and start reading. It never fails to save me from a dastardly fate–the critic in my brain going full-blown bat-shit crazy on my self-esteem. Thanks, Jenny. Cheerio, Joyce

  1391. I’m excited about your new book! You always crack me up. Thanks for always making me laugh, which is no easy task. 🙂

  1392. Luv your blog, your kitty gifs, your humor. My husband doesnt get u so i must snicker to myself and quietly dry my laff tears. Congrats!

  1394. Hoooooraaay for book 2! You’re totally my hero. I already have a well-read copy of your first book, but I’d love to give one to my amazing mother-in-law (I know… it’s an oxymoron, but seriously she’s cool She made me a zombie love song coffee cup for Christmas…) But don’t stress if you randomly pick other people, because she doesn’t know, so she wont be disappointed.

  1395. Fantastic! I bet it’s even better than homemade butter. Definitely better than the gator tail a sadistic possum left on my back patio last night. Pick me, pick me!

  1397. Congrats on finishing the book. Can’t wait to read it. I love your cats and should you need somebody to leave them to in your will, I volunteer.

  1400. Am sooooo excited for the new book. I kept buying copies of the first one to give to people because I loved it and thought that everybody should read it.

  1402. H! I love your book so much, I’ve bought four copies for other people after I bought mine. Two were Kindle, so I don’t know if that counts. I would be very willing to buy another copy for you to autograph, if you can just tell me how I can do that. Thanks!

  1404. Whoo hoo! Your first book was fantastic – can’t wait for Book #2! And how awesome is it that you can now refer to “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” as your first book?!

  1405. I have struggled with ADD for most of my life and I can’t imagine writing one book much less two. I bow to your greatness. Congratulations!

  1407. I don’t own a copy of your book but I read it once. It was perhaps the most interesting thing I’ve ever read. I didn’t even know what a taxidermist was before picking up your book

  1408. Did you give them all away, yet? I have it reserved at my local library, but I’d rather own a copy… (picture a charming grin, here. And bowing and kowtowing, if it helps.)

  1409. I experienced your first book as the audio version and enjoyed taking pics of chapter titles as they came up on cd display, such as “my vagina is fine”, (thanks for asking)” and sending the pics to my boyfriend so he’d be super intrigued and confused and maybe even concerned, all at the same time. Plus I had never heard your voice before and hearing it made the book even better while also confirming my initial thought that we would be good friends in another life. A life where we actually knew each other. Anyway, congrats on making that second book your bitch!! I am more than excited to receive a free one!! Or buy one, because that’s just the kind of luck I have. But I guess I’ll feel lucky to get to read a second book from you in general, so really, I win.

  1410. I love your old book although I read it just about six months ago…so it was new to me and am anxiously awaiting the new (newer?) one. You’re also mentioned several times in the endnotes of one of my other new favorite writers, John Scalzi…I picked him because his book “Redshirts” (as an aside, I tried to underline this but when I hit control “U” like you do in Microsoft office, a whole bunch of strange code and stuff came up, and since I’m a bit of a Luddite when it comes to computers, I thought to leave well enough alone and not touch it, but I digress…at any rate, back to the post) was a daily deal and I read the write-up and thought it was amusing and then noticed that Wil Wheaton read it and I was like I’m totally getting this book because I’m a huge Trekkie. And I love it and have read most of the “Old Man Series” after that. I note that you have a picture of Wil Wheaton collating paper. And now the circle is complete.

    I got your book in audiobook format with you reading and would listen to it while working out in the gym…but I had to stop because I would start laughing while bench pressing or something which A) is dangerous and B) caused all the other knuckle draggers to look at me and go why is that dude laughing to himself…let’s give him a wide berth.

    This post ended up far longer than originally intended. At any rate, big fan of the book…the blog…looking forward to the new one. Signing off.

  1412. Yay! I can’t wait for the next book. I would love an autographed copy of the first one.

  1414. Boo! I check The Bloggess like every day EXCEPT when there’s a book give away. It never fails!

  1415. OMG. IF THIS IS STILL OPEN I WANT TO SUBMIT TO WIN. MY BDAY IS IN 10 DAYS, AMD THIS DAMN BOOK IS THE ONLY FUCKIMG THING ON THE LIST. I WILLINGLY WILL TAPE AND SHARE SOMETHING SPECTACULAR AND LET YOU SHOW IT!

  1416. I would LOVE an autographed copy! please, please, please!! Unless you plan on doing a book signing here in exciting PA! please, please, please!! Congrats on the 2nd book – you rock!!

  1419. Another book???? Literally just peed with excitement. (Could also be that I am on the toilet, but still very excited!)

  1420. I would love to win your book because I’m an asshole to myself and have put myself on a book-buying moratorium for the next few months – but also because every time I read your blog I actually go and write something (and remind myself that there are a lot of people out there at least as crazy as I am).

  1422. Jenny,

    I’d so love an autographed copy of your book. Also, while I’m here, let me tell you how much I love your blog. This is not something I’m saying to win your book, ofcourse, but if it helps in your books reaching my very lazy, procrastination friendly hands, very well then. PICK ME. Okaybye. pats Ferries Mewler and Hunter Because the world needs ore head pats and Cats who need then. Yes, I capitalized the C of the Cats. They deserve it.

    Love and more relatable-weirdness to you,
    Surbhi

  1424. I love your first book and can’t wait for the new one! Congratulations on finishing the first draft. That’s a fantastic accomplishment. 😄

  1425. Oh yay I totally cannot wait for the new book!! But as usual South Africa will be the last on the list for distribution!! Yay for online shopping!!!!!

  1426. As an artist, I can agree that presenting your work to others is the most nerve-wracking and frustrating experience ever. From personal experience, I can absolutely attest to the idea that ‘you are your harshest critic’. I love that you acknowledge the mental breakdown that you’re experiencing when thinking about your own production. I’ve been working on a canvas for nearly 7 months. There was a point when I loved looking at it, however recently I only seem to notice that irksome, nagging “you should’ve done…” voice. I was honestly on the verge of taking a knife, jailhouse style, to the canvas, when a friend commented how she loved it. This was my sign to give the canvas away.

    Thank you for reminding me of all of the half-baked projects that I have started, and will now have time to finish. You have also inspired me to consider writing as an avenue. Self-criticism only gets worse if we feed the beast. New avenues of expression might be able to quiet that beast for a while, possibly an option for all creative souls to experiment with.

    Congratulations on your new book! I just stumbled across this page, and think your sense of humor is in sync with mine. It’s motivated me to find a copy of your first book !

  1427. Congrats on finishing writing! I can’t wait until I can read your second book!

  1428. This news made my day. I live alone and reading your blog I bray like a donkey laughing and my neighbours must wonder what the hell is happening and why that weird alone girl is laughing so much. Now I can creep them out MORE when you book comes out!! Can’t wait!

  1429. Again, you rock my socks. I really wish I could afford to buy either of your books b/c then I think my socks would have a party so epic that my underwear would join in!!

  1431. March 3rd is the day I had my hysterectomy. Now that I’m 10 days past, I can laugh again, so it’s time to read your book!

  1432. I’m from Brazil, I’ve read your book, it was awesome, and I’m definitely getting the next one! I really hope I win one of your autographed copies!

  1433. By the way, I’ve just clicked the link for Allie’s book, and then I wanted to hit myself for not realizing which Allie you were referring to! I’ve read her book! It was pretty awesome. I specially liked the goose story.

  1434. One of these days (ie whenever I’m fine being ADD and procrastinating) I will buy your first book in English and in German. I am curious to see the translation and to see how your humor works out in German….. I have odd hobbies.
    Anyway, thank you again for writing this blog, it helps me feel a little less alone when I’m going through crazy brain things.
    Also, cats+cardboard boxes= the best entertainment. Thanks for that! 🙂

  1435. Ok is a bit after the fact and random, but please pick me 🐉
    Your posts always make me day!

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