It might just be me.

in Random Crap

So, I saw this at a thrift shop and I couldn’t stop laughing.

bobbet

And Victor looked at me strangely for a second and then he got it and laughed and then the clerk was like “I don’t get it.  What’s so funny?” and I explained that it was funny that there was a metal tube with a snipping hole in it called “The Bobbet” and that the slogan was “Just a turn and there’s your worm.”  And she still didn’t get it so I said “You know.  For cutting penises off?” And then she asked us to leave.

Is it just me?  Am I too old?  Do average people not know penis-severing stories?

234 thoughts on “It might just be me.”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Once again, I’m with you; saw the picture and immediately knew where we were going.
    Ah, John Wayne Bobbit. I hear he’s half the man he used to be…

  6. Definitely not too old. Probably the wrong audience for the joke from the sounds of it. How old was the clerk? I can’t imagine a twenty or thirty something not at least having an inward giggle after being made aware of the joke.

  9. Oh, THAT’s funny. If only half a worm came out, it would be even funnier…(sorry, guys)

  11. I swear, Texas just has better and more entertaining junk than Missouri does. I want to go shopping with you!

  12. I got it without reading your explanation. So, it’s not just you. It was HER.

  13. If you are, then I am too. Because I spit my coffee out when I read the label. The slogan killed me. Can you go back (in disguise) and buy it?

  14. i’m still laughing. must just be the clerk. she obviously has no sense of humour.

  17. I totally get this. I would’ve laughed. It’s awesome.

  18. i am crying laughing. I was JUST telling the Bobbet story to my 15 yr old this week, and he had not heard of it either, of course…

  19. That story came up, um, was mentioned just the other day at our house. It’s not just you.

  20. Oh come on! How does anyone not get that? No way was that store clerk young enough to not know about Bobbit. People with no sense of humor make me feel uncomfortable anyway.

  24. Agreed, you’re not alone, Jenny LOL The clerk may have been having a bad day or just is a stick-in-the-mud by nature. 🙂

  27. I was just referencing this the other day. However, that doesn’t help you because I’m older than you. So … no, I don’t think you’re old.

  36. I think the Internet has long confirmed that it’s never just you. 🙂 That’s pretty funny.

  38. If she’s too young to get it, she didn’t deserve the humor. Where is this thrift shop? I have a purchase to make…

  39. Also I’m beginning to think you should found a museum. Raise money for it on Indiegogo. It could have the item, the blog post mounted on one side and the true story on the other.

    This could work. Really.

  50. Some people are just too out of touch with what goes on in the world. Obviously the clerk is one of those people. I was laughing till I had tears before I even read what you wrote. Hit me instantly. So no…it’s not just you.

  55. i thought it was funny (and got it!) long before reading your description! Idk what they’re teaching kids these days if people don’t even know about Lorena Bobbitt!!

  56. I knew where you were going by the picture alone. I thought it was hilarious. Maybe she was just too young to remember that headline goodness.

  57. I will forever think of Lorena when I see anything resembling the word Bobbit or Bobbet. Forever and always.

  58. I got it just from the picture.

    Probably she was just offended that you used the word penis. Some people are like that. Some sad people.

  60. I don’t want to live in a world without penis severing jokes! Or fart jokes. Or jokes that involve both, cause that’s just comedy gold!

  61. I so wish I could go shopping with you. And just the other day someone gave me a hard time about using the word “penis.” Apparently I’m too prudish. Dammit you can’t win.

  62. Once again the a clerk that is not as cool as I imagine thrift shop workers in my imagination. I mean one time I found gold hammer pants and couldn’t resist. I then proceeded to dance out the store wearing them and the clerk said “That girl is weird.” Either she was being mean or weird is the new hip word these whipper snappers say today while listening to their Justin B. their Justin T and their hippity hop music!.

    PS hammer pants were later destroyed in a near fatal ass slapping while trying to climb up my 6’8″ friend like he was a mountain and yodeling the whole way up. I WILL MISS YOU HAMMER PANTS!!!

    R.I.P. Hammer pants
    Born February 12 1990— December 10, 2006.
    Adopted on December 10, 2006 at 300 pm died 900 pm due a massive blow…

    sniffle

  64. How could she not know that story? How young was she. All I saw was the name on the device, it just got more humorous as I looked at the device and as you described it.

  66. Nope, not just you. I saw that pic and immediately thought “Oh, that must be Lorena’s.”

  67. She asked you to leave for that? I’m surprised I’m allowed anywhere, ever then….

  70. I didn’t get it until reading what you wrote, but once I did…hilarious. I wonder how many other 27 year olds would get it?

    BTW, your book is awesome. I either got it for Christmas one year or I bought it myself…I can’t remember. It’s my kind of weird.

  74. A joke from 1993:

    What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbitt?
    “You gonna eat that?”

  75. Shit, I totally didn’t get this.
    I claim cultural differences as a valid excuse in this case.
    Also, it’s time bed time here, and I’m probably sleepy…
    Whichever excuse works better. 😛

  76. Ah, god. NO ONE gets my cultural references anymore. I am an official fogie.

  77. I got it immediately, before i read your explanation. I don’t know how anyone could ever forget that story. Unless they’re too young. Damn kids.

  78. I thought of Lorena yesterday when I saw a young man walking down the street, holding onto his “pride and joy” as if it would fall out of his oversized pants leg at any moment.
    I said to him, from inside my car as I was driving, “Son, it’s not going to fall off. Unless Lorena’s around with her knife. THEN you are free to be overprotective.”

  80. Ok, taught high school history, ironically in San Angelo, and was discussing popular culture and mentioned Lorena Bobbitt.
    The kids has no idea who she was. When I told them the story, they still thought I was making it up.
    Had to look it up on Google and prove it to them. The shock, horror and laughter that ensued allowed for a great teachable moment. Beware of a woman scorned. I would have purchased that box…as my husband is a fisherman ; D.

  82. LOL! I knew exactly where this was headed when I saw the photo! Of course, in high school, I had a little twerp follow me around for days calling me “Lorena” (my name is Lorraine) and asking me if I had “Bobbit’d” anyone yet. One day I got pissed and told him, “Not yet, but if you don’t stop pestering me, you’ll be the first.” He never bothered me again. LOL

  83. I totally laughed with you, and read it the thing and thought the exact same thing as you lmao. You’re fine. and not old

  84. And it’s a Saturday tomorrow and I have work. I don’t know why I’m trying so hard to justify why I didn’t get the joke…
    I guess I feel like I’m disappointing you as a Lawsbian.
    Issues: I have them.

  85. I got it immediately. And then my brain thought of “reps for Jesus” just as quickly. You’ve scarred me for life. IN THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY.

  86. I’m pretty sure I’d have to wear Depends hanging around with you as I’d constantly be peeing my pants from laughing. You need to do one of those Omaze fundraisers where someone wins a trip with you shopping and you raise money for something amazing at the same time.

  88. Seriously?? Asked you to leave? Didn’t get it? Some people…. I got it the SECOND I saw the pic and thought to myself “this is gonna be good” (as usual). I hope you at least bought it before they kicked you out!!

  89. I think the clerk is a major prude and believes people look like Barbie and Ken under their clothes!

  94. People who lack common sense compounded with a disturbing lack of humor should be ASKED TO LEAVE THE PREMISES, aka THE WORLD. What is she, friggin’ related to him or something? The DUDE MADE A PORNO after they reattached it for criminy’s sake!! LOL She was just pissed because you’re funnier than she is and you have minions. 😉

  97. LMFAO!!!!! I got it the second I saw the picture!!! That’s freaking HILARIOUS!!!

  100. totally got it, and THIS is why i read this blog. we all have that strange/similar mind.

  103. I got it. Sad that the story has passed out of general knowledge. She actually went to the same community college as me back in the day.

  104. Some people are just out of the cultural loop. Or can’t take a joke. Worse they’re out of the loop and can’t take a joke. Stay away from them, they are no fun whatsoever.

  106. I didn’t even have to finish reading the label and I was all, “Ooh, I know what that is,” and then, upon reading how it operates, I added an, “Ewww.”

  111. It wasn’t just you. I was checking the picture carefully, looking for the “Property of Lorena” tag.

  114. Victor clearly got it and thought it was funny.

    I got it and though it was funny.

    You just had the misfortune to be dealing with a saleswoman who was not aware of pop culture penis injury stories. It was her, not you.

  118. I burst out laughing just looking at the picture. But I think I’m old so you shouldn’t use me as your litmus test.

  119. And do we want to talk about corded phones? or B&W tv? or no air conditioning?
    Anyone born 10 years after that incident will have NO idea.

  123. And there is MORE to this particular penis story, because after Mr.Bobbitt had his appendage reattached, he went on to make porn movies called “John Wayne Bobbitt Uncut” and “Frankenpenis” — I kid you not! Both movies were pretty bad….um, so I’ve been told.

  125. That’s what I immediately thought of when I saw the picture! Laughed so loud I scared my dogs!

  131. I moved to Manassas VA and one of the FIRST things a neighbor pointed out to me was the 7-11 where they found his…er…worm…
    As claims to fame go, this one is the most interesting I’ve heard a town…er…embrace?

  133. ” Victor looked at me strangely for a second …” Do all of your posts include this phrase?

    And I totally got it. that clerk has no sense of humor.

  136. I think that’s hilarious! Obviously, this clerk has led a sheltered existence and needs to be pitied 🙁

  139. Not just you. I couldn’t even read the slogan at the bottom, and I still got it. I can’t believe she asked you to leave, though!

  140. I knew where you were going with this also. On a second thought how do you bate a penis? I mean it is attached to a man? OH wait……I answered my own question!

  143. She’s obviously just not awesome enough to know about that story. It’s a great one!

  144. After that happened, my best friend and I created a list of ways to remove a penis and/or dispose of it in such a way as to render it un-re-attachable. It was a fairly comprehensive and creative list for two fourteen year-olds.

  145. Hahahahaha you are not alone. I totally knew where you were going with this once I saw the pic. 🙂

  152. It’s the kids now a days – I was at the grocery store the day before St. Patrick’s Day buying stuff for corned beef and cabbage and the check out girl asks me if cabbage was on sale since everyone was buying it…I said for St. Patrick’s Day and she did the confused dog half head turn and goes what’s so special about cabbage and St. Patrick’s Day? I lost faith in the younger people today.

  153. Usually we save them (penis-severing stories) to tell around the campfire after the ghost and urban legend stories to take the edge off before going to bed with the giggles.

  154. I just love you! Every time I see a sign by the side of the road that says “Watch for ducks on road”, I start laughing thinking about Lorena throwing her husband’s penis out the car window. Ever since then, what I see is “Watch for dicks on road”.

  157. In college I worked in a 7-11 that sold bait. One day a guy asked if my worms were fresh and I told him one pinched me that morning. He did not laugh. I guess bait is serious business.

  158. I got it before I scrolled down to read your message, so no…it’s not just you.
    Funny!!!

  161. I’d call the manager and complain. I think the Bobbit story should now be part of the mandatory training for any and all organizations that sell bobbet penis slicing bait boxes.

  162. I’m not even American (I’m Scottish) and I got the reference.

  163. In Jr. High my nickname was “Lorena”. I did nothing to dissuade people from using it, either.

  165. I can confirm it is NOT just you. I immediately went there too, as did all your followers. Because we are all 12. Hooray!

  167. I weep for a generation a generation that doesn’t understand Bobbet penis references. The generation gap just widened.

    A few years ago a friend went to the Transformers movie and a GI Joe movie trailer came on. A group of teens in front of him had a conversation (before settling back to really enjoy the Transformers movie) on how lame it was to create a whole move based on a toy from our generation. They would never go to a movie that dumb.

    My friend spent the rest of the movie debating if he should educate them, or leave them blissfully ignorant that all pop culture from the current generation is based on nostalgia for our generation.

  169. After I read it a second time and read it correctly as Bobbet and not Hobbit (seriously, migraine is killing my eyesight today) I laughed because I totally get it. Thank you. I needed that. 🙂

  170. I totally got it. I used to love the Ballad of John Bobbitt. It’s a song set to the tune of the Beverly Hillbillies.

  171. In Quebec French, a bobette is panties! 😉 So this made me smile for another reason…

  172. Damn kids…get off my lawn, will ya? Too dumb to remember the Bobbitts, sheesh… grumblebitchmoan

    No, it’s definitely not just you; I don’t know how anyone who was alive then could ever forget that particular story, and I honestly can’t imagine that you were the very first person to ever look at that device and think that. (Frankly, I’m surprised no one else snapped it up for shits and giggles–how much is it, anyway? Could you send a friend back there to pick it up tomorrow? It would fit in SO perfectly with all your other, um, items… 😉

  174. People who don’t know any penis-severing stories are below average,aren’t they?

  175. So…you CAN’T say penis in public? Damn. I think I may not be suitable for the public then.

  176. I grew up in Manassas, VA where it happened. They were selling shirts across from the courthouse during the trial that said “Manassas VA, a Cut Above the Rest.” My dad still has it 🙂

  177. Just a turn and there’s your worm? Lmao. I can’t imagine the company who made this didn’t choose the name on purpose. Someone’s got an interesting sense of humour. Except maybe the clerk.

  178. Totally there with you! I think the Bobbett Bait Box predates the Great Bobbitt Severance though. And so awesome that one definition of “bob” is “to cut short, to reshape” as in “Bernice Bobs Her Hair” or “the bobtail nag”…

  179. The clerk was just ignorant. I’m surprised, though, to hear of a single female human being besides The Tiger that doesn’t both know the Bobbit story and dissolve into hysterical laughter at any mention of castration, emasculation, or damage to male genitals. It’s like, required reading at the academy.

  181. I got it immediately, but then, I think you and I think alike. Which one of us should be more afraid?

  182. Lorena’s 15 minutes of fame are clearly over.

    And we’re all old now. But I’m okay with that.

  184. People just don’t know, I think. But, there are any number of times I refer to something I genuinely think is common knowledge and I get the side eye.

  185. In my final semester of college, my friend got his hands on John Wayne Bobbitt’s porn, half off. 😉
    It was one of the most interesting porns I have ever seen.

  187. It’s like a portable glory hole…. with a special detachment surprise at the end!

  188. That is the best! Laughed so hard as soon as I saw the picture. Love it! I would have been laughing with you. Thanks for another great laugh!

  192. I looked this up on ebay. Turns out, it was manufactured in Beaver, Wisconsin. And it’s meant to be worn…wait for it… on your belt. I bought one for my father in law.

  193. She was obviously way too young. You can only hope she looked it up on the interwebs after you left and had a good chuckle once she got the joke.

  195. I can’t believe we are old enough that there are people who don’t know the penis-chopped-off story. Also, I would’ve liked to be a fly on the wall after you left.

  200. Oh! I saw it, right off.

    Too bad we’re getting to the age where cashiers weren’t even BORN YET when some of the funniest stuff ever, was happening.

  203. Right there with you, Jenny. I thought of exactly the same thing before I read anything at all 🙂

  205. This website is so bad for when I need to get things done. It’s so entertaining – how am I supposed to remove myself from these great posts to go do taxes? Thanks for the laughs!

  206. I’m old enough to get it, but so old it took me a minute and a reread or two to get it. By crackey.

  208. Heheehehe… I’d have laughed with you. Apparently Bobbet’s signature involves a little graphic of a knife. (unverified information that a signature interpreter told me)

  212. Saw the picture and knew right away! You’re not too old – unless I’m too old, then we both have a problem! Great post 😉 #stillgiggling

  213. Seriously, was it his name that inspired her reaction, or was it just an unfortunate accident?

  216. I, too, saw the picture in the post and immediately knew where this was going. Some people have no humor. Meanwhile, I remember hearing on the radio that one woman severed her husband’s pee-pee and sent it floating on a helium balloon. I had no trouble finding the source to this story…so for your pleasure: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=673406. Side note, I was behind on reading your blog and almost peed while reading the meth lab conversation — especially the PS. I think I’m in love with you, but since I am not a lesbian and Victor will no doubt stand in my way…I am going to send you a dollar for making me laugh.

  218. And now college girls will no longer carry rape whistle but Bob-bet’s for ever and ever. Or maybe this will be the new must have clutch! Add a leather strap and that baby is sooo Hipster!

  220. What’s awesome about that contraption is that it is clearly older than the media sensation that made that name a household word. Which means that whoever invented the Bob-bet is motherfucking psychic.

  224. The story of the patrolman sent out to search for and rescue the severed object was too vividly burned into my brain. And all of those news anchors who had to report the story in front of a camera while keeping a straight face.
    I love it when truth is stranger than fiction.

  225. The man, the legend! I would have bought it as well and found it a home somewhere in sight of the toilet just to freak out the men of the house.

  230. Oh, and y’know what? John Wayne Bobbitt continued to be an abuser and a criminal for years after (and for all I know still is). Seriously? Getting your weenie wacked doesn’t teach you ANYTHING?

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